home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
-
- ### ###
- ### ###
- ### #### ### ### ### ####
- ### ### ##### ### ###
- ### ### ### ### ###
- ### ### ##### ### ###
- ########## ### ### ##########
- ### ###
- ### ###
-
- Underground eXperts United
-
- Presents...
-
- ####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### #######
- ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
- #### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ## #######
- ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ##
- ## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### #######
-
- [ Raised Carefully ] [ By Bravemoore ]
-
-
- ____________________________________________________________________
- ____________________________________________________________________
-
-
- Raised Carefully, by Bravemoore
-
- dedicated to H.T. and M.T.
-
-
- Here I am. At 30 years of age one might think that I've accomplished
- quite a few things in my days. On the contrary, I haven't done a
- thing in my life that I really wanted.
-
- When I was a child, my parents looked after me really well. Perhaps
- too well. It wasn't that I never had what I wanted, because I never
- wanted anything. My parents didn't leave any room for me to
- develop my own will. They weren't religious at all, but before I was
- even born they had decided that I would have a great childhood.
- I would not have to do all the mistakes they had gone through in their
- lives. All my needs were taken care of before I even knew I had them.
-
- They gave me good and healthy food, and I even had a lunch box for
- school, even though they were serving food there. I did a lot of
- sports when I grew up. I did running, canoeing, fencing and tennis.
- To this day, I'm still practising tennis twice a week.
-
- I was really sick only once, that was in third grade. For two days
- my fever wouldn't go down, but on the fourth day I wasn't ill
- anymore. My mom and dad took good care of me all the time, and I
- was never worried about being sick.
-
- Each Christmas I had a lot of presents. I actually never wished for
- anything, my parents knew me well enough to buy what I wanted. My
- grandparents sent me presents as well, but I only got the things
- that my parents agreed on was good for me. My grandparents never
- came to see me and I think it's because my mother and father
- decided it would be better if they didn't. I imagine them as being
- very nice and friendly though.
-
- After school, I've been working at home for my parent's company,
- crane renting. Most of our customers are construction sites and
- the police. We lift walls, safes and smashed cars most of the time.
- The business is good.
-
- I occasionally follow my parents to the mall when shopping, but I
- prefer staying at home. I don't have any friends to visit, and quite
- frankly I wouldn't want to go even if I had. Every Saturday and
- Sunday me, mom and my dad make a big dinner and then we eat and
- talk about the past week and things that we enjoy talking about.
-
- All these years they knew what I was feeling and thinking. I guess
- that made me feel secure in a way. On the other hand, I was never
- given the space needed for my own thoughts and my own feelings.
- Thoughts best thought when alone. Feelings best faced when alone.
- But I was never alone.
-
- This morning I woke up early and it became obvious to me that
- I was half through life. It also occurred to me that there was
- one thing my parents could never protect me from. That's when
- I for the first time ever got really angry with them. They had
- been saying for all my life that I'd be safe and whatever happened,
- they would protect me. If they had been awake they might have
- explained this to me, but it's too late for that now.
-
- They shouldn't have tried so hard.
-
-
- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
- uXu #405 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #405
- Pay a visit to our IRC channel -> #uxu
- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-