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- [ The Big C ] [ By Knyttet ]
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- The Big C
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- I was sitting in a waiting room. There were a lot of people around me.
- Everyone looked so calm, so natural. I guess they had all accepted what they
- were going through. That scared me. To accept that something that you don't
- want is breeding in your body. Scary, but great. I guess you have to accept
- it, to learn to live with it, to get well. I was there because of cancer,
- just like the rest of them. But it wasn't me, and it wasn't someone close, I
- was just one nurse following a sick man to the doctor. I felt kind of
- awkward, felt like I didn't have the right to be there, cause what did I know
- about cancer? What did I know about how it felt to see someone you love get
- sick? Nothing.
- I have had my shares of sorrows but none of them due to illness. So what
- could I say to this man I was following. How could I support him? I could
- understand that he thought life is too short to talk about the weather,
- especially in the doctors waiting room.
- I remember how I felt when I started to work among sick people. I was only
- eighteen, and too young to realize that there was a lot in the world that I
- was too young to know about. I didn't understand that I had to little
- experience to comfort this kind of patient.
- I didn't know then, what I have learned today. That it isn't so much what
- you can give, as your ability to take that makes you a god nurse. Even if you
- have suffered from sickness yourself you can never know how it feels for
- someone else, how the illness affects their lives. You've got to learn how to
- listen, how to make people wanna talk to you. Cause this is a way of helping
- them, by letting them tell you, how they feel, make them see that you are
- there and its all right to feel angry, to be sad, or even to feel guilt. And
- from what you hear, you can comfort.
- I know all this now, and I do my very best to find time in my work for
- listening. And I try to always remember that talking I can do everywhere
- else, but when I work I have to listen with all my senses, so I can hear
- those souls screaming to me, begging me, crying for me, or someone, to
- listen.
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