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- Underground eXperts United
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- Presents...
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- [ Speech For The Defence ] [ By The GNN ]
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- ____________________________________________________________________
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- "SPEECH FOR THE DEFENCE"
- by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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-
- "What is mind? What is matter? Never mind."
- (unknown)
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-
-
- I look around and I see people. Everywhere I look I can see them. They
- walk the streets of my city, they sit in front of me at the library, they
- eat lunch at the same restaurant as me. Sometimes, they give me a look but
- I quickly look away. It is dangerous to stare (and even look) at people in
- a big city. They might be killers, madmen or just looking for a fight. I
- walk the streets, watching the sidewalk pass below my feet. I cannot look
- at people. People are dangerous.
- At night I sit on my bed, alone. I hear my neighbors chat and play
- music. Outside, I hear the rumbling noise of passing vehicles. When I
- tip-toe to the window and look out, I can see neon signs and crowds of
- people far below me. I live in a very nice flat on the seventh floor. I
- am rich, but not famous. Some of my friends says that they look up to me
- and wants to be like me. But in reality, they do not want to. They have
- no feelings at all.
- Why am I so successful? Why do I have plenty of money? Why have I never
- failed? I opened my eyes on the fourth of november in the merciful year of
- nineteen seventy-three. The year is now nineteen ninety-seven, hence I am
- twenty-four years old. I believe. I cannot be sure. I cannot be sure of
- anything around me.
- You see, I have begun to think. For the first time in my life, I think
- about the world around me. What is this world? Who am I? Why do I live?
- My life has been a constant search for more pleasure and more success. I
- have never ever failed. I have never ever failed.
- I look around, and I see people who fail. How come that I never fail?
- Whatever I do, I do it correct. I have a good education which have led me
- into the so-called good life. The good life consists of money, money and
- everything that money can buy.
- I bought my life. I bought my love. I bought my friends. Is it you, is
- it me - why do I live in ecstasy? It might be reality. But I do not trust
- that thought.
- Is this the good life? Yes, it is the good life. I have the power to
- make people love me and I have to the power to get rid of people who do not
- want to love me. I have more power than God. Because, I have the money.
- Jesus might have been able to transform water into wine, but I can buy more
- wine than Jesus was ever able to drink. I drink the wine of life. It is a
- sweet liquid, but the more I think about myself - the more the liquid
- begins to have a slight taste of bitter.
- I should never have began to think. I should have remained satisfied.
- Faust, Prometheus and me. We all want to know it all. We do not stay
- satisfied with out present knowledge.
- Why? Why! I know things that no one else do. I have used my grey brain
- to achieve knowledge that is forbidden.
- I fear people.
- They are dangerous.
- They are dangerous because they are not real people. I am a real human
- being made of flesh and blood. I have a grey brain and a pulsating heart.
- The shadows around me are not humans. They are machines, made of steel and
- electronic. Their feelings and thoughts are mechanical, covered by soft
- plastic that looks and feels just like real skin.
- They only way to control them is to buy them. They have no souls nor any
- possibility to think rational. I am the only human being that is able to
- do that. Is not that funny?
- I know that I am right about this. I am so positive, that I could die
- for it. How come that I have never failed? How come that other people are
- like they are? They are not like me. I am special. I am rich. I am God.
- But I am also a guinea-pig, placed in a huge vivarium, perhaps watched by a
- doctor in a white uniform.
- I want proof. I want to be sure that I am right. Rational thinking is
- good, but empirical data is alway correct. Perhaps I am wrong. But this
- feeling is so strong, that I cannot resist to test.
- I opened the door to my flat, said hello and let her in. She said she
- had missed me and that she needed to rest. She had worked all day, she
- said. I watched her fingers and saw a ring that looked exactly like mine.
- I knew that it was me who had placed the ring there. She went into the
- kitchen and I followed her. I thought, what should I do, what should I do?
- I did it. I stabbed her in the back with my boot knife that I had bought
- this afternoon. She screamed and tried to remove it from her back. She
- danced around in the kitchen, screaming, screaming, screaming. I stepped
- back, bit my lip and watched her.
- She screamed and I covered my ears.
- She looked at me with frightened eyes and I closed my eyes.
- After two hours, I looked up. I must have passed out, since, I lied on
- the kitchen floor. She was in front of me on the floor. Her eyes stared
- at me. They stared right into my eyes. I must have missed her mechanical
- heart with the knife, since it took such a long time for her to die.
- My hands shaked but I had to move her. When she lied on her stomach, I
- drew the knife out of her body. It was covered with fake blood, like the
- floor.
- I need proof! I knew I needed proof. I just had to do one more thing
- and then I would be completely sure that I was right. I cut her open with
- the knife and stared into her body.
- I saw that I was wrong.
- But sometimes, I know that I am right anyway.
- I have never ever failed, and I never will.
-
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-
-
- /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
- What are you going to do? Sell it on CD-ROM? HA HA HA!
- Project Runeberg up yours. ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU /pub/Zines/UXU
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-
- I fought the law, and I won.
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-
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- uXu #209 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #209
- Call UNDERWORLD_1994.COM -> +1-514-683-1894
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