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- ftp> get uxu-114.txt -
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- Underground eXperts United
-
- Presents...
-
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-
- [ Elite Modemtraders ] [ By The GNN ]
-
-
- ____________________________________________________________________
- ____________________________________________________________________
-
-
- ELITE MODEMTRADERS
- by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
-
- "I despise you.
- I despise your order, you false-propped authorithy.
- Hang me for it!!!"
- (Louis Lingg, 1898)
-
-
- Aspects upon the "elite modemtrading scene".
-
-
- It is easy to build castles made out of air and if you get several other
- people to do it - the castles turns real! For several years the "scene"
- was a place made for the people who got some kind of programming, drawing
- or musical skills. However, this also got the attention of the unlucky
- ones who because of the lack brainpower or intelligence could not do
- anything at all.
- These were the so-called "swappers". However, let us not call these
- people unnecessary for the "scene". They had a key-function in spreading
- the demo productions. Spreading by mail is a rather tough work and it
- costs money. But it sure have a certain charm and the swappers were in
- harmony with the rest of the "scene".
- Now we live in a modern age and the swappers have gone modern too, with
- high-speed modems. But something else has happened. The "swappers" have
- turned "elite". Yes, now even swappers are ranked as high as the
- programmers if they manage to constantly "upload" several megs of wares
- (not demos, since the swappers now are free to spread anything). They do
- not even have to be a member of a famous group (even if it helps in the
- case of looking good) to be "elite".
- Still, there is no need for intelligence. Uploading is easy and only
- requires a big ass to sit on for hours and hours.
- We all know how people in cars behave. Even the smallest little man or
- woman can be tough and show people the finger. Why? Easy, they are
- "untouchable" in their car. So are "elite modem swappers" too. They may
- bitch and whine about anything, no one can come and get them through the
- telephone line!
- This is why almost all of the "best" uploaders are only misunderstood
- kids who now have the chance to "be something". An "elite" modemtrader can
- be incredible tough via the boards. He can tell everybody how good he is
- or he can get others (preferably in worse groups) how ultimate "lame" they
- are.
- The "elite boards" consists of special rules, almost like rites. Some
- bizarre examples: 1) It is not good to download anything at all. Of
- course, we wonder how anyone can upload without downloading? 2) Those in
- "better groups" does not have to work as hard with uploading as the others.
- They simple are Better, which reminds us about the society in India with
- castes. 3) No one questions the fact about the ridiculous modemtrading.
- Opponents are not met with the traditional "big mouth talking". Silence is
- the defense. Why is there no answers to these behaviours? Simply, because
- there is no good arguments for the business and "modemtraders" are often
- not bright enough to communicate on a normal level.
- The "elite" modemtrader is unique. He is a megalomaniac who has built
- enormous castles out of air. He actually believes that he is "something"
- in this world. He is also very sensitive for jokes about himselves. Which
- leads us to the story about something called
-
- THE UTOPIA PHANTASY ELITE BBS
-
- I am The GNN and I am active in an elite-group. I like the demo-scene
- but I despite the modem-traders. As we know, elite-boards are interesting
- ones to call in psychological research purpouses. The lack of intelligence
- and humor are outstanding and the only messages written are often so-called
- BBS-ads together with "Lamers! Old stuff! CREDZ removed!". The ads
- always contain the same message, preferably "ELEET, HOT WAREZ, BIG HD,
- INCREDIBLE SYSOP". The same BBS-ad could be posted a dozens times a day,
- simply because the sysop BELIVES that everyone will call it then. But I
- find it only to be disturbing. Shocking. Boring.
- I realised that the only way to strike back is to create an OWN BBS-ad!
- So I did, and I terrorized the poor suckers. The birth of the elite board
- UTOPIA PHANTASY and its divine sysop COOLFIX was a fact. Many (too many)
- bought the story and called desperately to the numbers I gave them. After
- a while they understood that they had been fooled and got real angry.
- Ha! You will not belive what some people told me to do with all these ads
- and messages when I told them the truth!
- I enjoyed that circus, from beginning to the end. Now you can read the
- ads that got so many elite-d00dz crazy. Feel free to call the numbers if
- you want, but do not expect to find a HOT'N KEWL ELITE BOARD there.
-
- Each ad is separated by a "(---)".
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- It's time to discover what the word BBS really means....
- +=0=0=-=========================================================-=0=0=+
- A cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc\ ccc\ A
- M c THE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .c | c. c | CaLL ThE T
- I cccccccccccccc. ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc | c. c | UtOpiA A
- G \____________c. c\ ________________________\| c. c | PhAntAsy! R
- A ccc\ c. c | ccccccccc\ ccccccccc\ c. c | ccccccccccc\ I
- \ ccc\ c. c | c. c | c. . . . c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. . . . . c | \
- P c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. . c | c. c | c. . c | M
- C c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. . . . . c | A
- \ c. c |c. c | c. c | c. . c | c. ccccc\ | c. c | c. cccccc. c | C
- S c. cccc. c | c. c | c. . c | c. c\ ____\| c. c | c. c\___c. c | \
- N c. . . . c | c..c | c. . . . c | c. c | c. c | c. c | c. c | N
- E cccccccccc | cccc | cccccccccc | cccc | cccc | cccc | cccc | E
- S \_________\| \___\| \________\| \___\| \___\| \___\| \___\| S
- P-H-A-N-T-A-S_Y P H A N T A S Y P-H-A-N-T-A-S-Y
- sysops: coolfix/billygoat/bapp and reveny! co-sysops: wanted!
- +=0=0=-=========================================================-=0=0=+
- .: OnE TERAbyte ON-LINE! :.
- .: 14 eXA-BYTeS OFF-LINE! (On-Line upon Request!) :.
-
- All users gets an ratio of 10/1 on FIRST CALL!
- (No LAME validation required!)
-
- <*> -( O2O-91OO11 )- <*>
- --------------------------------
- (*) AMIGA 3000T (*) 19-nodes Ring-Down! (*) 24 H/DAY (*)
- (*) H/P/A/V/ES/Ca/F/U/C/K/U/P/N/T AREA (*)
-
- (NOTE: Foreign users call +46-8-7918462 instead, and use FREE CaLLBaCK)
-
- +=0=0=-================================-=0=0=+
- ChAt with The friendly Sysops and GET: CaLL
- FuckING
- * Virgin Calling-Cards (new every third hour) NXW!
- * VISA GOLD/AMPLEX PLATINA/MASTERCARD DIAMOND
- * Carded stuff for sale at 5% original price
- * Stuff will be carded upon request ...and enjoy!
- * We have hacked axx to many mainframes and
- can offer our users:
- - Payed Phonebill!
- - Free domestic travels!
- - Payed speeding-tickets!
- ... and much MUCH more! ..or stay LAME!
- +=0=0=-================================-=0=0=+
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- ...the ultimate bbs...
-
- U T O P I A
-
- P H A N T A S Y
-
- .:Important messages from the sysop:.
-
- Please all non-57600 baud callers! Almost half of the NINETEEN
- RING-DOWN nodes were OCCUPIED by people who desperately tried
- to connect on *bullshit* rates like 14.4 and 16.8!
-
- =*= STOP THIS! =*=
-
- Buy a better modem from us!
- IN STOCK: The *unreleased* 57600 baud USRobotics V82!
- Betaprice: $12000 Our *KARDED* price: $15!
-
- Features: * MEGA-ASL: Corrects even corrupted files.
-
- * TeModem Protocol (TERRORMODEM TRANSFER) If the
- file already exists, TeModem
- KILLS it and let you have the
- credz anyway!
-
- * FakeGuard If you *by mistake* dloads a
- lame FAKE, FakeGuard notices
- it and loudly vomits the
- disk out of the drive.
-
- * MentholSprayer If your breath happens to be
- a bit sour MentholSprayer
- corrects it.
-
- Never forget the CHARGE FREE number:
- ---) O2O-910011 (---
-
- Non-Sweden Callers: 08-7918462!
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- ___ ___ __________ ________ ________ ___ ________
- / / / //__ ___// / \ \\ \\ \
- / /_/ / / / / / \ ____\\ \\ __ \
- /_______/ /__/ /_______/ \__\ \__\\__\ \__\
-
- P H A N T A S Y
-
- SysOp: COOLFIX
-
- Sweden CAllERS: --) O2O-910011 (-- .:NO CHARGE!:.
-
- FXREiGN CAllERS: --) +46-8-7918462 (-- .:CALLBACK SYSTEM!:.
-
- SySTeM: Now 1.5 TeraBytes ON-LINE!
- 14 ExABytes OFF-LINE!
-
- NINETEEN NODEs RING-DOWN! .:AMAZiNG MULTiCHAT!:.
-
- ULTIMATE KEWL H/P/A/V/ES/T/M/O/L/I/E/S CONFERENCES!
-
- AMIGA/PC/SNES/ATARI/NES/LUXOR/GAMEBOY/SHARP/VIDEOTRONIC2
-
-
- <()> THiS WeeK! <()>
- Call.
- * Carded LASERVIDEO players! Right.
- * $150 each - 250 pieces in stock! Now!
-
-
- (Note! ALL NoN-57600 baud callers: Call AFTER MidNight!)
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- U- T- O- P- I- A- P- H- A- N- T- A- S- Y-
-
- Important Message from the sysop:
-
- I got my *NEW* 89 EXA-Byte HD today togheter with a new beta version of
- the 099-TURBO card. However, when I connected them to UTOPIA PHANTASY the
- system accidentaly got aware of its presence and tried to wipe out myself
- and the rest of the world with the power cable. Luckily, it failed. But
- the BBS will be down for a couple of days while I clean up my room and
- rebuild the house... sorry about this guys. I will be more careful next
- time I KARD new hardware!
-
- / CoolFix
-
- (Never forget the CHARGE FREE number *020-910011* Non-Suedes +46-8-7918462)
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- ---) UtOpIa PhAnTaSy (---
-
- Important message from the sysop:
-
- Some *FAG* tried to HACK the UTOPA PHANTASY this morning by using a fake
- account with status 255! (everybody that calls UTOPIA PHANTASY gets status
- 255 but that is no excuse for violating my system!) However, the naughty
- little fellow were quite surprised when the Automatic Hacker Fucker gave
- him backfire and sent 230 zillons of volts into his keyboard! (Yes, Even
- plastic CAN be made electrical, if you have ENOUGH power!). His lame
- mother then called be up and asked why I had burned her lovley little son
- into a pile of ash. I told her not to interfer in what happens in the
- elite ELITE-SCENE! That made her shut her face.
- So, no more hacks *please*. I hate to obliterate my *BELOVED* users.
-
- / CoolFix
-
- (Never forget the CHARGE FREE number *020-910011* Non-Suedes +46-8-7918462)
-
-
- (---)
-
- _
- | | |_|
- |_| T O P I A | H A N T A S Y
-
- VERY important message from the sysop:
-
- My sleep is very uncommon these days. It happens a couple of times every
- night that the phone rings and some incredible *LOSER* shouts in my ear.
- The message is always the same: "You lamer! It was fun in the beginning
- with all those BBS-ads and SHIT but now I begin to get tired!". I hear a
- heart-crushing sob and the jerk hangs up. I laugh (It takes a big man to
- cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.) but this is really
- beginning to get on my nerves! I know why some people say things like
- this, it is because they CANNOT CONNECT to *UTOPIA PHANTASY*, since they
- own a *BULLSHIT* modem with the rates 9600, 14400, 16800 or 2400! (Yes,
- even some 2400 lamers tries to call too, with a belief that their
- *WELL-KNOWN* handle will get them EVERYWHERE! Ha! Fuck you! I (and no
- one else) do not care if you have won the UPLOADING COMPETITON at Total
- Suckers BBS!). Buy yourself a *REAL* modem instead of bothering me! Thank
- you.
-
- /CoolFix
-
- (Never forget the CHARGE FREE *O2O-91OO11*. Foreigners: +46-8-7918462)
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- ...it is good to do it in a bar...
-
- >---------------------------------------------------------<
- | |
- | |
- | ** **** ***** ***** ** ***** |
- | ** ** ****** ******* ** ** ** ** ** |
- | ** ** ** ** ** ******* ** ******* |
- | ******* ** ******* ** ** ** ** |
- | ******* ** ******* ** ** ** ** |
- | |
- | P H A N T A S Y |
- | |
- | |
- >---------------------------------------------------------<
-
- ...it is better to do it in the USSR...
-
- .:UTOPIA PHANTASY:.
-
- ()() O2O-91OO11 ()()
-
- (Non-Swedes Callers): ()() +46-8-7918462 ()() Ultimate CallBack
- SysTem!
- (Calls You before You Call!)
- Now Features:
-
- * Improved H/P/A/Q/W/E/R/T/Y/F/J/LH/G/E/Lc/O/U/%/!/DN/*/|/ area!
- All letters in the English alphabeth welcome!
-
- * 1152OO Baud Triple (Dual Dual Dual) Non-Standard modem!
-
- * Free DLoad! Free UPload! Free Logout!
-
- * 2456 *HAPPY* users from over 3100 countries!
-
- * Special WHITE ARYAN RESISTANCE area! (White Only!)
-
- * 29 EXA-Bytes ON-line (on streamer tape).
-
- * Special BLACK NEGRO RESISTANCE area! (Black Only!)
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- U T O P I A P H A N T A S Y
-
- General information from the sysop:
-
- Some people are having trouble when they try to join conf 65 ("Insane and
- Sick Sexual Positions in HAM/GIF/IFF"). I cannot understand why. Simply
- call the number to *UTOPIA PHANTASY* and wait until your 57600 baud modem
- (you HAVE a 57.6 modem haven't you?!) connects. DO NOT write "n q" at the
- first prompt (after the text about AmiExpress version 60.1 - beta version)
- since that will get you out of the bbs quicker than a rabbit on the
- freeway! If you cannot enjoy my *MASTERPIECES* of ansi art, then call
- another board! *SNORT!*
- After you have CAREFULLY read through the information about me not taking
- *ANY* responsibility for the PIRATE software available here, complete with
- a full copy of what the constitution, the police and the software companies
- has to say about the legal matters - write "ok" at the prompt. No, IT IS
- NOT possible to use ctrl-c and stop the vital information! I do not want
- *ANYONE* to misunderstand or twist the fact about my clean conscience
- concerning pirated stuff! That is why each screen of the text stays 1
- minute on your monitor. Have patience, the whole information show only
- takes about 15 minutes to scan thru.
- Type your HANDLE and GROUP at the next prompt that says "write your
- handle and group". Some people do not get it anyway and writes their real
- names or some other crap. Ha. Write your password. If you have forgotten
- your password, you can login under my name (COOLFIX, passw SECRET) and
- check what you had. Do not look at other peoples passwords. *PLEASE*.
- Remember, we are just a big *HAPPY* family at this bbs. A family that does
- not have to find each others underwear in our tea.
- Now you just have to go through the various bulletins that I have placed
- in the login. It won't take long, it is just All-Time Top Upload, Week-Top
- Upload, Top-login, Top-Logout, Top Callers, Top Non-Callers, Top Upload
- between 5 pm and 4 pm on Sundays, Top Message Posters, Top Message Readers,
- Top Lamers, Top Who's Who?, Top BeerCan Collections, Top Phone-Booth Users
- and Top Top-lists in Sweden.
- Now, about two hours later, you are in the BBS system! So, simply type
- "J 65" to join area 65! It cannot *BE* easier!
-
-
- / CoolFix
-
- (Never forget the CHARGE FREE number..eh? It seem to have slipped my mind.)
-
-
- (---)
-
-
- .:LooK at THIS:. .:Todays Universe First Imports!:.
-
- Alien IV - Monastery
- SexGames1993 - Sid Crow
- Return of The Clone 2 - (Jesus) Christal
- Remal Love - Demo by Fed up Sector
-
- call utopia phantasy and dowload all of this
- sysop coolfix
- swedes 020-910011
- others +46-8-7918462
- __________
- the /| ________ /________ \ _ ______
- / |/__ __/____ ___\ \/ |/ _ \
- /| | | | | / \ / ____/| || / \ | I rather be rich
- / | | | | | | /\ | | / | || \_/ | than stupid
- | \___/ | | | | \/ | | | | || ___ | - Jack Handey
- \______/ \_| \____/ \_| \_|\| \_|
-
- P H A N T A S Y
-
-
- (---)
-
- ___
- ( ) (___)
- \__/ T O P I A \ H A N T A S Y
-
- BUSTED!
-
- This is unfortunately true... I got a phonecall to my work this
- afternoon from my neighbour who wondered why there was a dozen of heavily
- armed tanks outside my house. At first I thought it was a joke but when he
- claimed that a tall guy dressed in the latest body-armour fashion screamed
- "Coolfix, you have ten seconds to leave the house" every fift minute I
- understood that it was about *UTOPIA PHANTASY* the little intermezzo was
- all about.
- I got in my car and drove the five-hundred metres to my house and found
- the scene to be exactly as I had believed it was. A couple of hundred
- soldiers were hiding themselves behind the tanks in front of my house while
- someone screamed that I should come out quickly, otherwize they would open
- my front door with a missile. I would not let that happen, it might have
- destroyed my collection of rare joysticks.
- So, I raised my voice and got their attention of my present location,
- behind them. After a few 7.62 shots had been fired against me from nervous
- *JERKS* I was brutaly thrown into a vehicle made out of steel and driven to
- the central police station in a speed that made the sun go slower on the
- sky. The interrogation (complete with electrical shockers and alligator
- clips) took about thirty hours during which I only told them that I was
- innocent. The BBS had jumped into my room and connected itself to my
- NINETEEN NODE RINGDOWN system. They also wondered who had been responsible
- for KARDING more computer hardware than is produced in the whole world and
- I simply told them: "No idea! I have not the slightest clue why all these
- packages with advanced computer hardware was sent to me. I thought it was
- christmass gifts from USRobotics. I know that my bank account includes
- more money than usual ($95000000 to be exact) but you *just have to believe
- me* on this! The reason why I own five different VISA-cards with status
- 'U.S.President' is because I am a collector of VISA and MC material. Like
- Coke-bottles, you know."
- They bought the story but confiscated the hardware. All of my 98
- exabytes harddrives, my 0679 turbo-card and the A5000++. Which leaves us
- with the sad fact that EVEN LEGENDS HAVE TO DIE! *UTOPIA PHANTASY* is
- closed forever.
-
- / CoolFix
-
- (Just forget the CHARGE FREE number will you?)
-
-
- (end)
-
-
- //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
- Call a BBS that acually exists! They are rare and uncommon these days!
- Non-Elite: SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-43766
- \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
-
- Our president may be old, but at least he's not dead.
-
-
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Underground eXperts United 1993
- Call THE STASH -> +46-13-175042
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-