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- Underground eXperts United
-
- Presents...
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- [ Depression ] [ By The GNN ]
-
-
- ____________________________________________________________________
-
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- DEPRESSION
- by THE GNN/DC/uXu
-
-
- It's 2.10 in the morning. I'm looking at the screen. My hands are typing.
-
-
- DON'T READ THIS FILE!
- -----------------------
-
- This file doesn't contain anything interesting! It was written because
- i'm so fucking bored at the moment. I had to do something. And I did
- this, yes, this, another file, completely uninteresting. Just a journey
- through the deepest boredom found on planet earth...
-
- How bad can life get? School begins tomorrow after the x-mas holiday...
- The Chief is gone for a whole year and closes Info Addict during that
- time... My phone bill is rated "roof buster" and will send my modem to
- hell when my parents sees it... I can't get rid of my ugly girlfriend...
- I live in a small town in the middle of Sweden a long way from any
- kind of civilization...
-
- (etc etc)
-
- CAN LIFE GET ANY WORSE?
-
- (no)
-
- Sometimes I think of start smoking...just to have something to do.
- Or why not build an unstable explosive? Just to feel that i'm alive.
- If i had a gun I'd place one bullet inside it and play russian roulette.
-
- JUST TO FEEL THAT I'M STILL ALIVE!
-
- However.
-
- I don't know if anyone is reading this. I write files, I send them to
- The Chief and he sends them to the other side of the Atlantic. And?
- Of course, he tells me now and then that they are being dowloaded but
- so what? That doesn't mean that anyone is reading this file.
-
- Do You believe in "god"?
-
- I don't. But sometimes I think of it. Just to have something to do.
- Freud once said the the biggest sickness of the human race was that he
- preferred to believe in non-existing things. To feel safe.
-
- I believe in Freud.
- I believe in myself.
-
-
- I think of spraying myself with tear-gas.
-
- I don't know why.
-
- I think of throwing acid into my face.
-
- Oh, if society only was ruled by anarchy! Then I would be free.
- You say "Idiot, doesn't he understand that democracy is the ultimate
- freedom!". Is it? I mean, we are forced to go to school. We are forced
- to get a job. We live and we die. But what do we do?
-
- NOTHING!
-
- We do as we are told all the time! You think you are free, free to
- "plan" your life. Wrong! You don't choose to go to school. You don't
- choose to get a job. You just do it because that's what everybody else
- is doing and that must be the right way in life! (?)
-
- End of this crap. I hate politics. Especially when people think I'm
- talking about it. I am not! I am talking about anarchy - a life WITHOUT
- any politics, no democracy, no left, no right... just plain life.
-
- Well...I suddenly remember something nice. Phearless is opening his
- board later this week. Could be interesting to see what will happen.
- Will he be raided by the police the first day or will they wait until
- he feel secure? You never know. Ha-ha. (low budget humor, another proof
- of extreme depression).
-
- I'm looking at my modem. Maybe it's time to upload this file now and go
- to bed and sleep? No...then time would fly. I must take care of these
- few golden hours before school starts again.
-
- Or maybe...maybe I just should clear this file and forget all about it?
-
- But I remember. I remember once when a drunk old man asked me what I
- did "in mah schpare ti-time?". I said "I write".
-
- He looked at me and continued "Ah...scho you are writing...writing a
- ...book (hic!)? That's interesting!"
-
- "No. I'm just writing..."
-
- "Ah...", he said. I walked past him and away. But he turned around and
- talked to me again.
-
- "But kid! Remember to schow people (hic!) what you write! It's not
- healthy to write things and then hi-hide it!"
-
- I think he was right. Always remember:
-
- "It's not healthy to write things and then hide it"
-
-
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