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- ftp> get uxu-025.txt -
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- Underground eXperts United
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- Presents...
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- [ 101 Uses For The "Tower Of Power" ] [ By THE CHIEF ]
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- ____________________________________________________________________
- ____________________________________________________________________
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- ___________________
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- wOw! | | # # # | |
- | | # # | | Awesome!
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- Amazing! |_________________|
- ------------------------------- Cool!
- | [] _____ |
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- Unbelievable! | |||||||||| |_____| |
- ------------------------------- Super!
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-
- I bet you all have your old XT stuffed away in your basement or
- perhaps under that dirty laundry in your cupboard, but no more!
- Today, we will learn how to still have fun and pleasure with our
- ancient friend! How unbelievable that may seem.
-
- First a few words about what "other" people say about their XT.
- Most of them claim that they have upgraded it to be as fast as
- any 286 of today (no one actually admits they really have an XT
- because that's really embarrassing). Second, they say it will
- out-run any other computer known to man. After you have explained
- to them that there are faster computers, say a ZX81 or something
- the standard "corporate computist" never have heard of, he/she
- will immediately say that "Actually, I just borrowed it from
- my dumb neighbor to see if it was faster than my, hmm.. ZX81!"
- and then they go on. (Yes, it's true! Most XTs are owned by
- company-computists who spent their lives in front of mono VT52-
- terminals.)
-
- Now let's see what we can do about them ol' XTs.
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- USES FOR THE "TOWER OF POWER"
-
-
- 1) ..as a toy for the kids.
- Just do a little lobotomy, make four small holes symmetrically
- placed in the four corners of the box, and insert some skateboard
- wheels (just use the average "hammer and nail" way) into the holes
- then take a piece of rope, fasten it to the two front-nails and
- you'll have a nice toy-car for your kids. You can use the motherboard
- as seat. Hint: The 5 1/4" DD works great as a pedal or gear-stick.
- Another great hint: Place the monochrome in front of the box, connect
- it to your video and insert the tape with Cannonball Run II. It gives
- You a chance to participate in the race!
-
-
- 2) ..as a collection box.
- This will replace your old C-64 collection box, because it is so BIG!
- You will be amazed when you realize how much you actually can fit in
- this "tower of power". In fact, you could use it as a collection box
- for your old C-64 collection boxes! You could fit as many as four or
- five of them even! If you already have thrown out those C-64 boxes as
- the rest of us, you still can make use of this great piece of
- equipment. Video tapes, cassettes or those operating system manuals
- are ideal too. Those long print-outs are also well placed in one of
- these. Hint: The motherboard is very useful as a separator if you
- choose to have different things in the box. Also, the 5 1/4" DD works
- wonders as support for books.
-
-
- 3) ..as a place for your pet(s).
- Is your dog complaining about the hard floor? Does your ants
- seem to disappear one by one, just to re-appear between the
- slices of toast, in your bed or just in your shoes? Then you
- have a chance to change all that! The XT is a wonderful home
- for any pet. Lots of things to explore on the motherboard,
- the 5 1/4" DD and if you're fond of your pet, you can plug
- it in, to keep your pet warm, to have ventilation and your
- pet will always have light from the green "power" light.
-
-
- 4) ..as a plate.
- Imagine the faces of your guests when you serve soup in an old
- XT! What a great way to show them you're a professional! Other
- good meals are macaroni surprise, mashed potato or just about
- anything clammy, floating will do. Then just smash the motherboard
- and mix it with the meal. Your guests will never notice and you'll
- save money too!
-
-
- 5) ..as a fruit bowl.
- Here we have a great thingie to surprise your friends. To show
- them you're a real "hacker", you should at least have a couple
- of these placed on strategic places. If they don't seem to notice
- them, just leave the motherboard in there, mixed with the fruit
- or candy. When they get an 8088 instead of an apple, I promise
- you, they will notice. Wonderful at parties to break the ice.
-
-
- 6) ..as fireplace.
- This one is quite neat. You can use it both inside and outside
- your house. Great for those garden parties where you can fill the
- box with coal, spray some lighter-liquid on it, and light it up!
- Then, place the pan, or whatever you generally use and then meat,
- hamburgers, hotdogs or whatever you're having. No risk of fires
- and the smoke will leave through those screw-holes on the sides
- of the box. You'll never get that nasty, sticking smoke in your
- hair or eyes again! Inside the house, it makes a great cosy
- fireplace for those cold and rainy nights and you won't be
- disturbed by smoke or anything!
-
-
- 7) ..as a bird's nest.
- Hammer a nail through the bottom of the box. Take the bottom of
- your old C-64 and place it like this:
-
-
- |---------> The XT Box
- --------------
- | ( ) |
- | ( --)---|-----> The C-64 bottom
- | ( ) |
- | ( ) |
- | ( ) |
- | ( ) |
- | ( []-)---|-----> A Small hole for the
- A piece of wood as ---->|------------| birds to enter & exit
- a place to land on --------------
-
- Then just climb up a tree, and fasten it with the nail in the
- bottom of the box to the tree. Voila! A great house for the local
- bird family.
-
-
- 8) ..as camping-trip toilet.
- Just put some soft stuff on the sharp corners at the top like a
- sweater, t-shirt or something and you'll have a great time.
- Hint: Make a 16x16 cm hole in the bottom of the box if you intend
- to use it outside. Another hint: DON'T if you plan on having it
- inside.
-
-
- 9) ..as a goldfish bowl.
- All you have to do here is to cut a 8x8 cm hole in each side of
- the box and replace the metal with glass or plexiglass. Fill the
- box with water, and put the fish in there. Your fish will Love the
- 8088 chip, circuits and resistors as decoration, and can easily
- find its place in life, as well as get an education in ancient
- electronics.
-
- 10) ..as a shoe-box for all of the neighborhood kids and yourself.
-
- 11) ..as a foot & water-hold for your christmas tree.
-
- 12) ..as a hair-dryer. Just plug it in, and you're on your way!
-
- 13) ..for those gang wars. Surprise your enemies by hitting them
- on their heads with an old XT. They'll be too surprised to
- fight back.
-
- 14) ..to keep your shrinked heads collection in order. When the
- police arrive to search your house for those missing persons,
- they'll never look inside your running computer! Great hiding place.
-
- 15) ..as an electric chair.
- Think of all the fun you'd have, connecting the metal box to
- the high voltage outlet, making small hand-cuffs on the edges
- and use the monochrome monitor as the back of the chair. The
- fella you want to execute sure won't suspect a thing when you
- ask him to "sit on your computer". Then turn on the monitor
- for starters, to get that extra static electricity runnin',
- and then, Pull the power-lever. SZZZZZZZZZZT! (frickle) (giggle)
- As a bonus, you fry that boring 8088 too.
-
- 16) ..as something to tie to the end of a "just got married" car.
-
- 17) ..as luggage! You can pack your condoms, toothbrush and whatever
- Your "thing" is into one of these. Perfect for those one-nighters.
-
- 18) ..as a skateboard. Just apply the same rules as on No.1 but
- disregard the rope-thing.
-
- 19) ..for practical jokes.
- You can use the XT for about 82 practical jokes. Just think for
- a while and you'll be fine. We don't write those here for your
- own pleasure/safety. We just let you know that there Are 81 good
- practical jokes.
-
- 20) ...to write dumb-ass textfiles on how to use one.
-
-
- So, with 82 practical jokes and 19 other uses, we
- have filled out quote of 101 ways. Stay really cool!
- ______________________________________________________________________
-
- (!) 1991 THE CHIEF & uXu Productions
- ______________________________________________________________________
-