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- ==Phrack Inc.==
-
- Issue XIV, File 7 of 9
-
- ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^
- PWN PWN
- ^*^ ^*^ Phrack World News ^*^ ^*^
- PWN Special Edition I PWN
- ^*^ ^*^
- PWN Edited, Compiled, and Written PWN
- ^*^ by Knight Lightning ^*^
- PWN PWN
- ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^
-
- Welcome to the first Phrack World News "Special Edition." In this issue we
- have two parts. The first section deals with possible news stories of the
- future after the weekend of June 19-21... SummerCon '87! The second section is
- a presentation of acronyms that never were, but should be. All posts have been
- taken from Metal Shop Private prior to its takedown in June. Posts have been
- edited for this presentation.
-
- PWN Special Edition is not a regular series and will only appear when the
- author deems it necessary to release one. Please keep in mind that all
- material in this file was written several weeks prior to SummerCon '87 and
- therefore the events chronicled here are supposed fiction and comedy.
-
- Thank you -KL.
- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
- Name: Phantom Phreaker
-
- SummerCon Prank Backfires June 31, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Well, the SummerCon went over well, except when the convention attendees stole
- every payphone in the building and placed them in front of Taran King's hotel
- room, rang the door, and shouted "Room Service." Needless to say, Taran King
- is now in jail until he can pay for all the stolen payphones.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Knight Lightning
-
- Phreak/Hack World Shut Down! June 21, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- It happened yesterday when John Maxfield accompanied by Ralph Meola, Richard
- Proctor, Dan Pasquale, Edward P. Nowicki, and several members of the FBI,
- Secret Service, National Security Agency, and local baggers 402 literally
- invaded SummerCon '87, the annual phreak/hack reunion. It has been reported
- that a total of 97 suspects have been placed in custody with crimes linking
- them to jay walking, loitering, curfew violation, disturbing the peace, and
- belching in excessive amounts.
-
- Details are sketchy but it appears that it all started when a very drunk pair
- of twins decided to visit the local McDonald's and demanded a COSMOS Sundae
- with passwords on the side. When a very confused McDonald's employee refused,
- they became agitated and whipped out a blue box using it to open the "trunks"
- of all the cars in the parking lot and then finally throwing it at an employee.
- A mad crowd of people rushed to the Best Western Executive International Inn
- and tried to storm the building when the other previously mentioned uninvited
- guests arrived.
-
- Final remarks from the twins... "So who wants to discuss CAMA?"
-
- Information provided by F. R. Newsline Services and on the scene reporting by
- Broadway Hacker (arrested for attempted prostitution).
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Thomas Covenant
-
- SummerCon '87 "Laugh Riot"; Numerous Phreaks Still Missing June 25, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- (St Louis, PP) Authorities are still searching for the nearly 100 missing
- telecom enthusiasts who gathered in town over the weekend for a convention.
- Apparently the missing parties were sitting around, undergoing the intake of
- many assorted consciousness altering chemicals, when a strange young man with
- shoulder length hair and wearing a Judas Priest jacket appeared. He forced
- them all into a white 1957 Chevy pickup and took off, leaving only Evil Jay and
- Thomas Covenant behind. Evil Jay was quoted as saying it was a "laugh riot."
- Thomas Covenant had nothing to say as he is in shock from the incident and
- currently undergoing treatment at the St Louis Home for the Terminally
- Bewildered.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Phantom Phreaker
-
- Computer Enthusiasts Infected With The AIDS Virus June 22, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- From St. Louis Post Dispatch
-
- They called it "SummerCon," a gathering of "phone phreaks" and computer hackers
- who are loosely organized around a network of computer bulletin boards.
- However, tragedy struck the meeting when the hacker named Evil Jay tricked
- another hacker, Suicidal Nightmare, into entering the room belonging to
- Broadway Hacker. Suicidal Nightmare was found in the parking lot with a torn
- anus.
-
- As if this wasn't bad enough, Broadway Hacker then went wild and began trying
- to molest the smallest hackers there. He could be seen chasing Kango Kid while
- screaming about a flaming mailbox and rubbing his genital area.
-
- Other problems arose from the hackers meeting, several people were arrested
- for possession of cannibus and illegal possession of alcohol. The other
- charges included:
-
- o Intoxicated Pedestrian
- o Disturbing the Peace
- o Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
- o Failure to yield at stop sign
- o No turn signal
- o Theft of telephones
- o Verbally harrassing telephone operators
-
- As you can see, these computer 'hackers' have no morals and decency and should
- not be allowed to meet.
-
- (C) Post Dispatch 2050
- Written by Jack Meoff
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Knight Lightning
-
- Phreak World Crippled; SummerCon Causes Despair June 22, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Today the phreak world was astounded and dealt a horrifying blow as all the
- phreaks who attended SummerCon, left with their entire phreak knowledge
- literally erased from their minds due to an excess of drinking and other
- unknown mind altering substances. It is unknown as to if these effects are
- temporary or a lifetime destruction.
-
-
- Anarchy World Takes Charge June 23, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- MetaliBashers Inc., have become the new "LOD" of the modem world since all of
- the LOD members no longer can even remember what LOD stands for (in fact no one
- can, and forget I mentioned it!). With MBI taking charge, the new wave of the
- modem world has turned strictly anarchy, although there are rumors of various
- pirating organizations beginning to unload new wares soon.
-
-
- Investigators Lose Jobs! June 24, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- John Maxfield reportedly lost ALL contracts today when it was discovered that
- the phreak/hack community was completely destroyed thus no one needed
- protection from them. He has now taken a job with the local sanitation
- management firm to help figure out what to do with all the garbage now that
- the phreak community wasn't stealing 1/3 of it anymore.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Evil Jay
-
- Suicidal Nightmare - History June 23, 1987
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Suicidal Nightmare met death head on when Evil Jay knocked on his door
- pretending to be a lineman checking on his line. Once inside, Jay proceeded
- to swing a hand set at him with amazing accuracy. Once dragged outside, Jay
- then proceeded to tie Suicidal naked to a tree and call the ever-lovin'
- Broadway Hacker over to do his stuff. Jay was last heard pleading insanity.
- Suicidal Nightmare remains in intensive care, and Broadway Hacker is happy.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- That is the last of the news reports, now on with "Those Amazing Acronyms...!"
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Doom Prophet
-
- FUCK-Facilities Utilization Control Kitchen. A really hot office. They keep
- backups of all systems per a LATA, or in special cases, the entire BOC
- area, along with user logs and passwords. They use the CUNTLICK system to
- in|σsface with SHIT, explained momentarily. They are difficult to reach
- as no one knows their number, and anyone calling it has to enter a special
- queue dispenser where he enters routing information to reach the FUCK ACD.
- The FUCK technicians answer as normal subscribers and you have to tell
- them a codeword.
-
- PENIS-Plant Engineering Network Information System. Used by the PMS to deal
- with outside plant details and layout maps.
-
- CUNTLICK-Computer Utilities Network In the Control Kitchen. Used to sensor
- with SHIT.
-
- SHIT-Supreme Hardware Inventory Totals. Self explanatory.
-
- CRAP-Customer Repair Analysis Service. They use PENIS to supply PMS with info.
-
- PISS-Primary Intertoll Switching Servicemen. Co-ordinate classes 1 through 4
- toll offices and monitor the STP's.
-
- BITCH-Building Installation Table Channel. Used by SHIT technicians to obtain
- new switch and office status.
-
- SCAB-Switching Cable Analysis Bureau. They work with PMS for trunk testing and
- maintenance. The systems they use are FART and DOPAMINE.
-
- BASTARD-Box Accessible System To Aid Real D00ds. A special in band NPA with
- full OSC support for blue boxers to experiment within legally. Only
- operating in special areas.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Phantom Phreaker
-
- DOGSHIT-Division Operations Group SHIT (see above post). DOGSHIT is like SHIT,
- except that DOGSHIT is in a division.
-
- CATPISS-Centralized Automatic Tandem Priorities Interexchange Support System.
- Self-explanitory.
-
- BEER-Bell Electrical Engineering Research
-
- COOL-Computerized Operations On Loops
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: Taran King
-
- BOOGER-Bell Operational Office for Generation of ESS Reports. Self Explanitory
-
- STAN-Spanish Tacos And Nachos. This support group, Californian based,
- maintains food services for all superior employees (all employees).
-
- NATE-Nacho And Taco Emissary. This department secretly interfaces STAN with
- the rest of the network due to the STAN group's inability to fit in with
- society. **Due to divestiture, NATE and STAN are no longer part of the
- network**
-
- IL DUCE-Not an acronym, but the janitorial services department of the network.
-
- PUMPKIN-Peripheral Unit Modulator Phor Kitchen Installations of NATE. This
- group is in charge of interfacing kitchen activities through Project
- Genesis. See RAPE.
-
- BRRR-RING-The official word for the sound an AT&T phone makes receiving an
- incoming call.
-
- BANANA-Basic Analog Network Analog Network Analog (No wonder they went digital)
-
- RAPE-Red Afro-PUMPKIN Enthusiast. This group, led by Peter, cheers IL DUCE
- while he sweeps the floors.
-
- SCOOP-Secondary Command Output Only Procedure. This converts all text to
- lower case. It is a function used in most Bell computers along with LEX.
-
- LEX-Lengthy Explanitory Xlations. This program, found alongside SCOOP,
- converts all lowercase text, from SCOOP, into upper case and 40 columns
- surrounded by "$"s.
-
- ** Warning! Never leave SCOOP and LEX running simultaneously or you will
- surely cause L666 to occur. **
-
- L666-The warning message generated by computers indicating endless Loops of
- conflicting jobs. This also indicates that everything is fucked. See
- LOKI.
-
- LOKI-Life Over-Kill Inscentive. If you find this error message on your
- computer, do not reboot the computer, but be sure to reboot something.
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- Name: The Disk Jockey
-
- SNATCH-Senses Nodes And Traps Code Hackers
-
- TITS-Telephone Involved in Tandom Skipping
-
- PUBIC-Plastered Uniforms Brought Inside CO (An employee infraction)
-
- RAD-Receive Analog Department
-
- DISC-Deadbeats Instinctively Scanning for Carriers
-
- LAP-Local Area Payphone
-
- Or use the codewords that Linemen and Telco employees use....
-
- This Means This
- ---- ----------
- "OHFUCKNIGS" "I'm trapped in a phone booth in a black neighborhood"
- "FIDOFUCK" "A customer's pet dog has me trapped up a pole"
- "HOMEBONE" "I got laid while doing a customer's installation"
- "SNOOZEBOX" "I'm sleeping, but saying I'm fixing little green boxes"
- _______________________________________________________________________________
-
- This concludes Phrack World News Special Edition. I hope you enjoyed it. If
- you have any comments or ideas be sure to get in touch with me or Taran King.
-
- :Knight Lightning
-
- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-
-