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- ==Phrack Inc.==
-
- Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #4 of 10
-
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- /|\ the Neon Fucken Knights /|\
- \|/ present with no alternative \|/
- /|\HOW TO BUILD A PAISLEY BOX! /|\
- \|/ by the fucked up Blade \|/
-
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-
- All right, so i mfucken in 40 cols..what's it matter? i just
- realized that many idoits out ther still dont know how to make one of
- the greatest anarchiust tools ever, the Paisley Box. This little
- beauty will do just about anuyt6hing ya want, including:
- --Seize operator lines
- --Remote control over all TSPS and TOPS consols
- --All other box functions combind in oine, includin blue, beige, and
- blotto
-
- so ya wanna know how to build this fucker and go out terrorizin ma
- bell..well sit tight, we wont bother with any fucken diagrams cause
- those are for dweebs (right necro? right!) here we go!
-
- first of all get about 20 lbs of quality drugs and 3 or 4 kegs. you
- might
- think that you need this for the contruction of the box but, you don't
- you take it all yerself!!
- this will mellow ya out enuf to follow our planz. lessee, oh yea
- parts list:
- --about 50 ffeet of copper wier, hopfully insulated
- --an old (prefer touchton) phone that ya dont need no more
- --a honda genorateer (don't pay for it, just card it. right necro?
- right!)
- --and one of the empty kegs that ya drank to put it all in. the
- genarater will fit fine and the rest ya can attach to the outsid if
- thats your fucken urge.
-
- now for tha actualy construciton details:
-
- oh shit, we forgot one fuckin thing. go to you local hadware stoer and
- find the guy who owns it, get a gun and blow his fuckin head off (you
- can card the gun two) this isn't for the box but, it fun and it will
- make satan happy so yor box will work better.
-
- now with the empty keg and all the stuf we put up there ( i think
- about 20 lins ofr so up )_ attach the genarater to all the other shit
- however ya please, now get some nice paisley wallpaper from your mom
- 9(steal it if she wants it still) and put it all on the oputsid of teh
- keg. you now have a 100% genuine Neon Knights approvd Paisley Box!
-
- How touse:
-
- hook that son of a bithc up to yir modem (thats only if you got a 212
- cat. if you don't then you are an asshole anyway and the box will
- blow you fucken house aprt but, satan will be happy.)
-
- now turn yer dam computer on, and when the prkmpt comes up(
- hardwird into the box of cors! whatdday think we are, stupid? )
- type: 666 (space) SATAN RULES (space) MY SWEET SATAN!
-
- then the menu will coume up on you screen and it will say.
-
- 1) fuck the operator around
- 2) take control of the pentagon
- 3) imitatte boxes (blue, blotto)
- 4) fuck-a-geek
-
- choose whatever ya want, except if ya get tired of it and want to
- trash th thing type 666 for a choice. the box will sef destructt, yer
- computer will explod, anmd in its trahsing death throes speak an
- chant taht will summon satan to take you away to the depths of
- HELL!!!
-
- use this masterpece proerly, and remember: NO FUCKEN LOSERS!
-
- `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
-
- Call these genocidal systemz:
-
- The Gatest of Hell 555-51325-634637-3
- 1200 ONLY DAMMIT!
- Mephisto's Suicidal Nightmare 2436-234-666 (of course!)
- 1200 ONLY DAMMIT!
- The Dead Fuckers Realm 2436-99-2309
- 300 only for now (dammit!)
-
- sorry for the sloppy look compared to our usual k00l neat files, but my
- computer got confiscate d by the fucke n pigs so i have to
- telerwit this fucker usin a dumb terminal, until i card another!
- should be within the week!
-
- but don't forget to call the rad Metal AE
- 201-879-[666]8 9600 baud only (god fuckin dammit) 4 drives with 710
- megs soon (we promise this time).
- Kneon Nights "We're Rad, we kill children!!"
-
-
- end of file
-
-
-
- i said end of file dammit!
-
-
-
-
-
- what are you still fucken readin for? hit escape you stupid
- shithead!
-
-
- if you dont fucken hit escape i will call satan on you!!!
-
- fuck the dead!
-
- ***
- ***
- ***
- ***
- ***********
- ***********
- ***
- ***
-
- Oral roberts is the anti-christ!!!
-
- oh and remember: this has been a fucken parody from thomas fucken
- covenant and double fucken helix. Call Thieve's World, the last
- bastion of free thought: 616-344-2718.
-
- "Whaddya mean I don't believe in God? ... I talk to him every day!"
-