The Hacker's Encyclopedia 1998

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╒030══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════030╕ │···─ ─────── p h o n e l o s e r s o f a m e r i c a ───── ─ ··│ ╞════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╡ │ Completed On May 13, 1995 │ ╞════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╡ │ For Informational Purposes Only. We're Not Responsible For Your Stupidity. │ ╘030══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════030╛ Introduction - RBCP: ------------------- Well, PLA030 is finally out. After getting a few ka-zillion pieces of mail and a few phone calls asking "So when's the next PLA coming out?" I know why ErikB is always complaining about that. It's not annoying exactly, just kind of repetitive. Third party billing was disabled on my phone line a couple months ago for some reason, meaning I can no longer make calls anywhere in the United States and third party billing it to someone else, not that I would actually ever try a stunt like that. That's ripping off MaHell and that's wrong. But this month I got my phone bill and it was well over $300 in back charges because of third party charges originating from my home. Well, I called the phone company and they seem to think I'M the victim here and were more than happy to remove the charges from my bill, god bless them. So, when trying out the activities out- lined in PLA005, remember, I got backbilled. (Even though they removed all of the charges...) I also heard another story from Mike in Portland, Oregon about some idiot that billed to the same number over and over and over and of course AT&T didn't like this and billed him for the calls. Worse yet, he was billing to a non- working number in Canada, something like 514-xxx-1234. Not too bright. Anyway, I have a good excuse for being so "late" in releasing this PLA that's about nothing in particular. I had a problem when, while walking down the street, a teenage motorist and his friends passed by in their Camero and all screamed, scaring the shit out of me and making part of my Big Gulp shoot up out of my nose. Luckily, in all the confusion I was able to see their license plate number and write it down. I walked over to the pay phone and called the local police department, got transferred around and finally talked to a lady who was nice enough to give me the name and address registered with the car. "Corpus Christi Police Department..." "Hi, this is Bill with the Quickee Mart over on Charlton Street. I called yesterday about a gas drive off here for a total of $83.71 and I was promised the name and address on this license plate but I haven't heard anything yet. The damn sumbitch filled up his boat, camper, truck and three wheeler and took off. Now can you check this plate number for me?" After a little more pursuading she finally gave me the information I needed. With temperatures rising into the 100's that day, I drug myself over to a nearby hospital to use their inside pay phones. While the lady left the front desk for a few minutes, I grabbed her chair so I could sit down to use my phone. Looking at my watch, I saw that I needed to be at my job in ten minutes but fuck it, I was on a roll. The address I was given by the CCPD was in Manistique, Michigan. I made a few calls to 906 information and LACs and the Manistique billing office to find out that the owner of the nice Camero was actually this little rich brat's daddy and that his son, Dale, was just down here on Spring Break. Finding his alternative number on their phone account was the dad's work number, I gave him a call at Century 21 where he worked. "Century 21, this is Linda." "Yeah, could I speak with Mr. Tullar?" "Just a minute, sir..." A few minutes of waiting and he was on the phone. "This is Mr. Tullar, what can I do for you?" "Mr, Tullar, this is Edward Garcia from the Corpus Christi police department, and it seems we have a problem with your son here. Him and a few of his friends were picked up this morning for a few misconduct charges and in order for him to be released you'll need to come down here and sign for him." "What do you mean I have to come down there," he moans, "he's eighteen years old, can't he be let out himself? What's he in there for?" "Well, sir, an officer picked him up in downtown for running amok with a stick. Seems he was going a little crazy and hitting old ladies on the head and screaming something about canoe heads. He was given a sobriety test along with his friends and they were all intoxicated with grape kool-aid. This being a Friday, there's no way he'll get out until at least Monday evening and even then, we won't be able to release the Camero as it's registered under your name." "This is all kind of shocking to me...uhh...what do I need to do here? I can ...that little son of a bitch...", he starts muttering to himself. "Sir, you don't need to use that kind of language around my phone. Now first of all I'm going to need a little information from you to help clear all this up. He's facing charges on public intoxication, misconduct, running amok with a stick in the third degree, burglary and terrorism charges. I need to-" "What do you mean, terrorism?," he screams, "and where did the burglary charge come from?" "Well, as I was saying before you inturrupted, I don't know how you people do things up there in Michigan but down here in Texas you can't just walk into the Nations bank with pantyhose on your head and demand money. It also turns out that the FBI is seeking him as the John Doe #2 involved in the Oklahoma City bombing. A secretary here recognized him right away and the feds are on their way to interrogate him right now. First off, I need to know exactly where they were staying so the search warrant can be served. You son is being very uncooperative since we found the cocaine in the trunk." "He was staying at the Holiday Inn at Emerald Beach." "Okay, very good. And could I have your social security number?" "Yes, it's 600-00-7913" "Alright, and for my report here I need your AT&T or local Bell calling card number." "Oh. Let me see here...Okay, it's 906-341-xxxx-xxxx. What's this for again?" "Don't worry about it. Now if you'll- I looked up and noticed an angry nurse looking at me, demanding her chair back. "It's okay, ma'am. I'm with the PLA," I said and held up a Phone Losers Of America business card for her to see and she walks back to her desk, confused. "When was your son planning on returning home?" "Tomorrow morning. He was planning on leaving first thing in the morning." At this point I hung up. This man was getting pretty boring and I had other things to deal with. Like Holiday Inn. The lady at the front desk was very concerned after I indentified myself as "Bill from Visa" and explained that the young man staying in room #236 was using a stolen credit card. Unfortunately, I had just missed them. They had checked out a mere two hours ago. And I was going to go break into the room. Well, maybe this is better because now the dad won't be able to contact them and he'll fly or drive down to get him out of jail. I went up to the counter and told the nurse there to go grab me a Pepsi from the break room and threw her a dollar. "Get one for yourself, too, babe." When she left, I grabbed her car keys off the counter, put her chair back for her (hey, I was feeling nice) and headed for the parking lot. Her car wasn't hard to find, being the only Toyota in the lot. I hopped in and took off. Half a tank of gas, stick shift, working cassette player and tucked up in the sun visor was a Diamond Shamrock gas card. A nice plus, but wouldn't do me a whole lot of good once I got into Kansas. At least she had semi-good taste in music. I put in a Ramones tape and began to drive... Driving all over town, I couldn't find them. I circled around the hotel parking lot a few times but no sign of them. I went to Diamond Shamrock, filled up on gas, chips, soda, magazines, candy, maps, cigarettes and a road atlas. Going back to the car I remembered that I quit smoking a few years ago but what the hell, it's all free. I gave one pack to a bum asking for money. I contemplated stopping by my house but decided against it. Nothing I really needed there, besides, I had my backpack which included my cell fone, red box, electronic organizer, spiral notebook, half a bag of Cheetos and ummm...let's see...My work uniform shirt. I threw this out the window as I drove towards Interstate 37. My concern wasn't really finding them along the way. That would be very unlikely to begin with. Actually, I'm not too sure what my main concern was. I guess fighting off the boredom and not really wanting to go to work that night. So I drove north, towards Oklahoma City, where I needed to stop and make a few phone calls. The drive was a little longer than I anticipated and thirteen hours later I arrived at a rest stop in Minco, a town outside of Oklahoma City. I put the seat back and closed my eyes for a good five hours of sleep. I didn't even see the red Camero pull in next to me. The next morning I awoke to some little kids running around outside and yelling a little too loud for 7:30 a.m. I staggered over to the pay phone and called Dale's house. As I hoped for, nobody was home. It took me about seven tries but I finally got into their answering machine messages. A few real estate messages and then one from Dale. "Hi, Dad! It's me..Uhh...it's 6:13 a.m. and we're in Tulsa, eating breakfast. Just wanted to call and let you know that things are going okay. Haven't been arrested or anything, ha ha! Did you hear anything more from the police? Well, we should be there in a couple of days. Love you. Oh yeah, something's wrong with your credit card. For some reason it was canceled and the clerk at the Exxon station cut it in half so we're using cash 'til we get there." I was starting to get a little pissed that they were so far ahead of me but that was cut short when the next message started playing, "Yes, I'm calling for a Mr. Frank Tullar. This is Lt. Davis from the Corpus Christi police department and I'm returning the call regarding your son. We've never had a Dale Tullar in custody and there's not even an officer Edward Garcia working in this city. I don't know if this is a prank or what, but I think you called the wrong city or something..." I ran in the bathroom to brush my teeth, shave and then headed north again, hoping to catch up to them. One thing that damn nurse didn't have was a radar detector. I stopped in Oklahoma City to check out the infamous federal building wreckage, took a few pictures and got on Interstate 44, going towards Tulsa. On the long drive I began to think. That's when I realized that I forgot to tell Colleen Card I wouldn't be home last night. Whoops. I got on the cell fone and did some major explaining to her. Got hung up on a few times and finally convinced her to pick up some airline tickets and fly up to Wichita, Kansas to meet me. I set up the airline tickets through a local travel agency in Corpus. Too bad Mr. Tullar's card had been mysteriously canceled or I could have used that to fly her up there. Instead I used a card belonging to some girl named Lisa, the girl who worked at the travel agency. That would be a tough one for her to explain. About five hours later I was in the airport parking lot, waiting for Colleen to show up. In all, I only lost an hour on them AND I was brought a change of clothes and my lucky tooth brush. "Nice car, where'd it come from?" "Spohn Hospital. Come on, we got to catch up with 'em." We made a pit stop in Lawrence, Kansas so I could plug into a certain sysop's telco box and leave the phone off the hook on some 900 numbers. Then we continued into Missouri and through Illinois, stopping only once in a small town in Illinois called Altamont to have some breakfast at Gilbert's Restaurant and to discover that most of the town's population had no teeth. Most of the ride was uneventful, boring stretches of Interstate look the same in just about any state you go through. It reminded me of why I always take the backroads and normal highways when traveling. We tried to get into the Tullar's answering machine after we got lost and ended up in Logansport, Indiana, but Mr. Tullar kept picking up the phone. Finally, I asked him, "Where's your son right now?" "Well, he's on vacation and should be home tomorrow." "No, I mean, what state is he in right now?" "Oh! Well, he called a few hours ago from Effingham, Illinois. Who's this?" "I'm just the guy who's stalking him. Don't worry about me, " I replied and hung up. I looked on the map and found he was pretty far away so we hung around Logansport for a few hours, checked out the museums, their "beach", and attended the Iron Horse Festival. Of all the places to visit we get one that has a yearly railroad festival. That being done, we continued towards Michigan, hoping to see Dale on the road somewhere. Finally we made our way out of the backwoods and into Michigan, a state I had yet to visit. Unfortunately, a state trooper outside the city limits of Coldwater, Michigan noticed that Colleen was driving about 30 miles over the speed limit and started chasing us. It was a pretty intense car chase around the city and finally ended with us and the police car crashing into the front doors of the Tibbits Opera House and into the lobby. Air bags, you gotta love 'em! I assume the officer had been rendered unconscience becuase we weren't chased when we ran from the building. We ran across the field, through some back yards and ended up in the middle of a huge crowd of people. We later found out this was the Bronson Polish Fevtival or something like that. We stopped at a concession to buy a few overpriced Cokes and to consider our options. A block away a man parked his car next to a store and went inside with several large boxes. I picked up my backpack and we ran to the car, got in and drove off. Small towns, you gotta love 'em! Aside from an almost empty tank of gas, we were doing not so bad. Feeling paranoid, we waited until we got into Tekonsha to get some gas and continued to drive up Interstate 69 towards Lansing. The rest of the drive north was more or less boring. The new car was a little battered, yet fast enough. There was a nice radio but no cassette player meaning we had to try and toon in the crappy hick stations along the way. The best one was some little independant station around Ithaca where an old woman was selling her pot holders on the radio. "Three pot holders for the price of one?? Am I crazy??" She was quite hilarious and I may write the radio station for a copy of that commercial to include in a PLA .WAV someday. We finally reached Mackinaw City, Michigan's lower peninsula and the end of our Interstate driving. It took about ten minutes to make it across the Mackinac Bridge, probably the longest bridge I ever went across. We arrived in St. Ignace and started driving west on Highway 2, only a few hours from Manistique, home of the guy who made me lose my Big Gulp. I wondered if he was there yet. Brevort, Engadine, Blaney Park and finally Mantistique. We had made a stop at a Wal-Mart in Engadine so I could pick up some school supplies and made a few fake I.D.'s on the way there, one in Dale's name and one in his dad's name. Manistique seemed to be mostly an upper-class type of town located on the edge of Lake Michigan with Indian Lake on the other side and some kind of a really odd bridge somewhere in the middle. Dale's house wasn't hard to find and his Camero was in the driveway. Wait a minute, this is the introduction, isn't it? Why the hell am I rambling on about my personal problems? Here's PLA Issue #30. Not a whole lot in it, but enjoy it before the feds come over a confiscate it along with your computer. Ah, I've got just a few more things to say...After all these months we finally decided to call back Dino Allsman just to say "hi" and he didn't really appriciate the call. Zak tried to tell him that we were sorry and he just cussed a lot in our general direction. I think the 2 minute string of swearing from him would have made an excellent recording but stupidly, I wasn't taping any of it. (See PLA014 for the scoop on Dino.) I also hope it's alright with Dark Tangent if I advertise a partyline he set up for phreaks. The number is 801-855-3326. For those few of you that call Hotel California, you'll notice that this one is similar but it's more phreak related. Enjoy! Cainesville Gets Fones Installed! - RBCP ---------------------------------------- This is a good one that Colleen Card pulled up on the library computer. It's a local news broadcast transcript on 10/23/94 about a little town in Utah that's never had fones installed until a few months ago. So here it is... DANIEL ZWERDLING, Host: We are now calling a number in Cainesville, Utah, and Weekend All Things Considered feels very, very honored to - four, five, six - we feel honored to be able to make history in this way. This town has never had telephones before, ever, and they got 17 of them installed just three weeks ago. [sound of phone ringing] So far, so good. FORREST SIMS, Cainesville Resident: Hello? ZWERDLING: Forrest Sims? MR. SIMS: Yes? ZWERDLING: Hi. I was just about to tell our listeners that this is one of the first phone calls that you guys have had in this town. MR. SIMS: That's pretty close, yes. ZWERDLING: Why did it take so long for you to get telephones? I mean, this town has never, ever had phones, right? MR. SIMS: Well, they did many, many years ago, but it was just a single, little old hand crank, and then, when most of the people left, they just kind of rolled up the wire behind them as they left. ZWERDLING: Now, Forrest Sims, you own an RV camper park, right, called Sleepy Hollow? MR. SIMS: Yes. It's a little RV campground. ZWERDLING: And, what I'm wondering is, for all these years that you've lived in this town, how did not having telephones make life better or worse for you? MR. SIMS: Well, we think it hurt the business a little bit. We would just kind of get together if we needed to make a bunch of phone calls. We would just wait 'til we got a fairly decent list going and then just drive into town and make the phone calls. ZWERDLING: So how far did you have to drive to make a phone call? MR. SIMS: It would be 22 miles one way. ZWERDLING: And, Forrest Sims, I should mention before we go on, we have another one of the 35 residents of Cainesville on the line with us now. Ethel Jackson, are you there? ETHEL JACKSON, Cainsville Resident: Yes, I am. ZWERDLING: Hi. Well, congratulations. MS. JACKSON: Thank you. ZWERDLING: I'm wondering, Ethel Jackson, and also Forrest Sims. I'm trying to picture living in a town where I can't call any of the neighbors by telephone. So that means if I want to talk to somebody, I have to either walk or drive to their house, right? MS. JACKSON: Right. MR. SIMS: Well, as far as I'm concerned, the way it's been for us, you know, that's kind of nice, because then you get to see your neighbor once in a while and sit and visit. MS. JACKSON: That's what I think. Now we don't get to see them. MR. SIMS: What was that Ethel? Go ahead. MS. JACKSON: Now we don't get to see our neighbors. MR. SIMS: That's about it. You know, you know of- in a way, you stop going down and visiting, and so, that way, maybe it's hurt a little bit. Yeah. ZWERDLING: Now, I would also guess that sometimes people would- you know, you'd show up unannounced, obviously, because you couldn't announce it with a phone call, and would people say, "Hey, why don't you stop, you know, come on in and have lunch or dinner?" MS. JACKSON: That's what it is. That's what it's all about. MR. SIMS: Yeah. That's the way it always happens. ZWERDLING: But I take it people are going to have lunch and dinner with each other less often? MS. JACKSON: Well- MR. SIMS: I don't think so. Do you, Ethel? MS. JACKSON: No, I don't. Maybe it might be just your local people around here but we still have people that drop in and- ZWERDLING: Hmmmm. Well, Ethel Jackson, how many phone calls have you received today? MS. JACKSON: Today? ZWERDLING: Mmm-hmm. MS. JACKSON: Oh, I've received one from Forrest and three from the lady that contacted me, and then- ZWERDLING: Wait. This is all calls concerning this interview? Those don't count. Forget those four phone calls. [Didn't she say three??] MS. JACKSON: Oh. Well, I have my little grandchildren that call every day to see how we are. ZWERDLING: Oh, that's nice. And, Forrest Sims, what about you? Are you spending a lot of time on the phone now? MR. SIMS: Yeah, more so that if I had no phone, of course, naturally. But, so far, most of it has been, you know, just to conduct business, and of course, talk to the family, which is out of state or, you know, up in Salt Lake. ZWERDLING: All riht. Well, listen, Forrest Sims, Ethel Jackson, thanks very much for speaking with us today. I understand that this is the first- the very first conference call you've ever had in your town? MR. SIMS: Yes. That's for sure. I can say that. ZWERDLING: Well, thanks for letting us be part of it. MR. SIMS: Oh, you're quite welcome. ZWERDLING: And, Ethel Jackson, if you don't get any- if you don't get more than one call a day, you can always call us here at NPR. MR. JACKSON: Oh, or you can call me. [laughter] ZWERDLING: All right. I'll do that. MS. JACKSON: Okay. Thank you. Bye. ZWERDLING: Bye-Bye. MR. SIMS: Bye-bye, now. And that's it. After I read the transcript a few times I went crazy with the 801 Utah information trying to locate Mr. Sims and Ms. Jackson so I could bother them with silly questions and maybe order them a few calling cards but information couldn't find anything listed. No police station, no chamber of commerce, no fire department, nothing. The information operator was even a little weirded out about this and I told her they just got phones installed in their town a few months ago and she said, "I doubt that." If anyone can get some information on this town, I'd really appriciate it. There's no way for me to even order tourist information because there's no Chamber of Commerce to call. So if anyone gets any info on the town, please U.S. mail it to me and you'll receive a FREE subscription to the PLA mag! You can't beat that, can you? How To Get PHREE Merchandise From Your Local Electronics Store - ¡)r. ¡)r▐P: -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you tired of these assholes ripping you off? Are you tired of buying electronics for 25 times what it takes Intel, Radio Shack, GE, etc, to make their products? That's where you come in! There is a simple way to get electronics for phree these days and it's called bullshiting. Bullshiting can be a lot of phun. In order for it to work you have to be and outgoing social person whose not afraid to tell people what the hell you think about them. Bullshiting is very simple. There are many ways to accomplish bullshiting. The first is to phind a local electronics store that has very poor security. I mean they have absolute shit for security. Stores who keep their merchandise behind the counter (e.g. Circuit City & Best Products) are the absolute worst places to hit. Pick easy going stores like Radio Shack, Computer City, and Best Buy. Their are two ways of bullshiting that I personally know of. The first way is going into the selected store, pick up whatever the product is that you need, rip the plastic off, walk to the return desk and bullshit them. What I mean by "bullshit" is I want you to give them your very best lie. I want you to have this lie memorized back and forth OK? What you are going to tell them is that you bought this product a couple of weeks ago and that it doesn't work now. You just want your money back or an exchange. You lost the receipt and don't know what to do. Possible outcomes: 1. They exchange the product for a new one 2. They give you a CASH refund. 3. They tell you to get the hell out of their store (in this case run out with the merchandise!!) 4. They arrest you? In this case you are going to need to bullshit a lot to get out of this one! The second way of bullshiting is a little less risky. This idea was taken from P.L.A. text file #12. The only difference is that you won't be returning only modems, you will be returning anything you want. In esence, what you do is you buy a product, lets say a 128bit video card with 4 megs of onboard video ram. Lets also say you bought this video card for $300. What you are fixing to do is, take your old 256k MCGA video card, put it in the 128bit video card box and return it to the store in which you bought it from. Not only are you getting you money back, but you are getting a PHREE video card worth $300. Possible outcomes: 1. They ask you, "Hey what are you trying to pull here?" Your resonse, "What do you mean?" "Well sir, it looks to me like you are trying to cheat us out here!" "What, what the fuck, hey listen bitch! I am just trying to get my motherfucking money back. Your goddamned video card isn't worth shit. The guy who bought it before me must have done it." "Uhhh ok sir here's your money, sorry this happened." 2. "Here you go sir, just fill these papers out and I'll give you a refund." 3. "Well sorry sir, We can exchange it for you, or give you in-store credit." (In this case you can get even more shit and return it later!) I personally have done the first and second one many times. Hell, half of my computer I got for PHREE!! :) This includes a Super VGA card, a 14.4k Baud modem (I didn't like it so I sold it for $50 and phree exchanged a USR 28.8k modem), a mouse and a shitload of software. See bullshiting can be fun and profitable, ya just have to get good at it and keep a straight face. P.L.A.n Carefully!!! Adult GIFs on Roy's Place - RedBoxChiliPepper: --------------------------------------------- Roy's Place, one of the two main PLA support boards has an adult GIF section that was looking rather bare so me & Zak (Big Roy) decided to spice up the GIF descriptions there a bit. So over the next few months we added descriptions to the adult GIFs and people are taking them seriously too, thinking that our bogus descriptions are for real. So here's a listing of the current adult GIFs on Roy's Place (618-797-2339) as of 5/11/95. Hopefully these will be somewhat entertaining to you... (By the way, I edited out the blank ones so the numbers on the left are a little screwy.) ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ Real Cool Disgusting Pics - #2, 248 files. ══╦════════════╦═════╦═══════════════════════════════════════════════════ 1║!LEZ-1 .GIF║ 161k║A picture of Dappy from the Clip Joint. 2║!LEZ-2 .GIF║ 83k║Dappy banging her dog, Cumhead. 5║#10BOOBS.GIF║ 173k║A Plumpers lady with 10 boobs coming out her ass. 6║150ZZZ#4.GIF║ 141k║Deter eating poo poo 7║16INCH-6.GIF║ 188k║Picture of Alex Carbon 8║17TEEN .GIF║ 87k║Hurry up and go away 9║1CORN .GIF║ 146k║A woman playing with her food. 10║2-MUCH .GIF║ 117k║Ameritech Corporate Security Group Photo 11║3DEB020 .GIF║ 45k║I'll bring my bookbag and some orange juice! 12║4-PLAY-G.GIF║ 127k║Roy & his gerbil having foreplay 13║4FINGERS.GIF║ 40k║A girl with four fingers up her nose 14║4FIST2 .GIF║ 107k║four fists up her nose 15║55DD .GIF║ 131k║A Troy, IL police officer wacking off in his car. 16║ADRIENE .GIF║ 120k║My ex-girlfriend, Adriene 17║AFTER .GIF║ 53k║Roy after he molested 28 gerbils 18║ALYSSA .GIF║ 106k║Jim Bayless laying spread eagle by the Ameritech building 19║AMY05 .GIF║ 192k║Some girl in the street that we mollested. 14║ANNIE3 .GIF║ 45k║Jerry Falwell getting some. 16║ARIEL01_.GIF║ 196k║Jaysen Phillips shiting on his car 17║ARIEL02_.GIF║ 100k║Deter 18║ARIEL03_.GIF║ 114k║I'm alex carbon and i ain't got any calling card 19║ARIEL04_.GIF║ 100k║human feces and urine 20║ARIEL05_.GIF║ 140k║t.p. for my bungholeo 1║ARIEL06_.GIF║ 131k║a gallon of milk 2║ARIEL07_.GIF║ 127k║An exploding toilet. 3║ARIEL08_.GIF║ 135k║my job application for quiktrip 4║ARIEL_B .GIF║ 91k║Deter 6║ASIA_P00.GIF║ 133k║God molested my children. 9║AUSTIN .GIF║ 139k║The Bell orgy at HoHoCon in Austin, Texas 11║B-BUSTY2.GIF║ 130k║Deter 12║BAMY-009.GIF║ 73k║A chick sucking on her own big toes 14║BARBIE .GIF║ 195k║My little 3-year old sister, Barbie. 15║BASINGER.GIF║ 87k║Kim Basinger eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich 16║BATH .GIF║ 33k║Robert E Allen (pres. of AT&T) taking a bubble bath. 17║BATTERUP.GIF║ 32k║Ryan Grant hitting his 7-eleven manager with a bat. 18║BELL .GIF║ 116k║Various Bell employees naked & playing with themselves 19║BELLE .GIF║ 58k║Deter 20║BELLE01 .GIF║ 121k║a mustard cutting factory 1║BELLE02 .GIF║ 137k║shit 2║BELLE03 .GIF║ 130k║The PLA terrorizing a lineman 3║BELLE04 .GIF║ 157k║the PLA being frightening 4║BELLE05 .GIF║ 126k║The PLA taking over the 618 area code 5║BELLE06 .GIF║ 147k║The PLA looting a Best Buy 6║BELLE_A .GIF║ 87k║Brent Deterding 7║BEV .GIF║ 125k║The DOC from STNG! 8║BIGMAM10.GIF║ 147k║Jim Bakker screwing Tammy's pet gerbil. 9║BIGNIPS .GIF║ 102k║Danny Colwell showing off his big nipples 10║BLAIR1 .GIF║ 151k║Picture of Francis G. Blair elementary school 11║BLAIRTIT.GIF║ 71k║AT&T family picnic being bombed by the PLA 12║BLONDE29.GIF║ 30k║Deter in drag 13║BREETWNS.GIF║ 131k║The Jerky Boys having sex together. 14║BRIANNA4.GIF║ 287k║Bundy girl 15║BRUN-11 .GIF║ 229k║Deter beating off to a copy of Plumpers 16║BUNNY .GIF║ 81k║Deter raping a cute bunny 17║BUSTY-1 .GIF║ 69k║Deter touching his huge boobies 18║BUSTY9 .GIF║ 71k║Todd Ahlers kicking his dog in the Boobies 19║BUSTY_31.GIF║ 243k║Sylvia thompson with lung cancer 20║BUSTY_33.GIF║ 202k║A dancing bowl of snot 1║BUSTY_34.GIF║ 145k║*burp* 2║BUSTY_35.GIF║ 137k║Cookies are good 3║BUTTHOLE.GIF║ 183k║Apple pie on toast 4║CANDY03 .GIF║ 101k║Roy waving his private parts around a little girl. 5║CANDY04 .GIF║ 110k║Roy offering candy to a gerbil if he'll get in his car 6║CASS3 .GIF║ 162k║Jason Crews nude, taping himself to the ceiling 7║CC-NOTOP.GIF║ 175k║A naked Cactus 29║CHRISTY .GIF║ 51k║Christy Brinkley vaccuming the carpet. 10║COEDS2 .GIF║ 24k║A picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 2 coeds 11║COEDS3 .GIF║ 30k║A picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 3 coeds 12║COEDS4 .GIF║ 29k║A picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 4 coeds 13║COEDS5 .GIF║ 31k║A picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 5 coeds 14║COEDS6 .GIF║ 33k║A picture of RedBoxChiliPepper with 6 coeds & a gerbil 15║COURTNEY.GIF║ 139k║Courtney Love shooting Kirk in the head. 16║DENISE14.GIF║ 57k║A girl named Denise watching a Gerbil 17║DENISE16.GIF║ 42k║Denise running amok with a stick 18║DEY-SUSA.GIF║ 58k║Dr. Seuss masturbating. 20║DONA .GIF║ 31k║Donna scanning cordless Phones 2║EJ1 .GIF║ 7k║Danny Colwell shoving a large coke up his ass 3║FAMILY-2.GIF║ 131k║Deters parents screwing him 7║FLADY001.GIF║ 67k║Mrs. Hagar flying down the stairs, late for work! 8║FLADY002.GIF║ 69k║Deter doing filthy things with a pack of condoms 11║GASPUMP .GIF║ 162k║Deter pumping gas in the ass 12║GESS101E.GIF║ 71k║A gerbil working on the Telco ESS 13║GFB051 .GIF║ 78k║Todd Ahlers molesting a kittycat 20║GL#40PSL.GIF║ 117k║Roy's Place, Telly speaking 1║GL07-PSL.GIF║ 113k║Steve, manager of Am\Pm, next to the slurpee machine 16║GUESS9 .GIF║ 206k║All asian gifs for pizza slut 18║HOTDAY .GIF║ 232k║the PLA being bad in a Radio Shack 19║HOTTEST2.GIF║ 114k║A picture of the sun 20║HOTTEST4.GIF║ 135k║Some Naked picture 3║JENNYBBS.GIF║ 87k║My hot baby jenny 15║KATYA .GIF║ 90k║Katya sitting on the couch eating Pringles chips 16║KATYA4 .GIF║ 67k║Erik B. touching hisself where it doesn't feel right 12║LOTYA .GIF║ 24k║Todd Ahlers stimulating himself with a phone cord. 10║MARKIE .GIF║ 42k║Markie Mark & Homey G Roy getting it on 11║MATTIE .GIF║ 24k║Mattie vaccuming the living room. 12║MNRVASEX.GIF║ 61k║Ung 14║MOORE02 .GIF║ 79k║Mary Tyler Moore eating broccli. 15║MPOST .GIF║ 50k║Jason Crews standing on a post, eating denture table 19║ORIENT3 .GIF║ 37k║Todd Ahlers smearing himself with Egg Foo Young 20║ORIENT4 .GIF║ 30k║Lee Willie, manager of granite city radio shack 1║ORIENT7 .GIF║ 23k║Ung 2║PASSION1.GIF║ 55k║Bob passionately touching his farm animals. 3║PASSION2.GIF║ 58k║Bob's farm animals passionately touching each other. 4║PASSION3.GIF║ 55k║He kicked my fucking ass al over the store 10║PAULINAN.GIF║ 79k║Sol rosenberg and Frank Rizzo at the AT&T building 11║PEARLS .GIF║ 83k║A naked pic of my dog. 12║PIGTAIL7.GIF║ 126k║A naked pigtail 15║PUSSY .GIF║ 39k║My kitty cat shivering after being out in the rain. 18║SLAMMIN .GIF║ 99k║Woohoo! I'm naked 19║SN1 .GIF║ 165k║The Bolivian Navy on Manuvers 20║SOAPY .GIF║ 26k║A picture of an Oregon Relay Operator taking a bath 2║SUZIEQ .GIF║ 50k║Martini 12║TEENS3 .GIF║ 137k║Chris & Ryan taking a bubble bath together 13║TEENS4 .GIF║ 124k║MY NAME IS ROY 14║TONYA3 .GIF║ 135k║Chris & Ryan swinging fruity together 15║TOWERS50.GIF║ 79k║The world trade center 16║TRACY .GIF║ 56k║Deter and Danny Colwell doing bad things with popsic 17║UNDIES .GIF║ 64k║My underwear on the airport carosel 18║VANNA-W .GIF║ 38k║Vanna White doing her taxes. 19║VLR5 .GIF║ 59k║Deter stroking a stereo 20║VPBATH .GIF║ 89k║Jamie and her remote control socks 1║WARNRCHY.GIF║ 61k║Yeah 3║WET .GIF║ 73k║A picture of a garden hose. 4║WHOME1 .GIF║ 118k║The PLA blowing up the Ameritech building 5║WORK .GIF║ 29k║Artie, the strongest man in the world 6║WORKOUT .GIF║ 96k║RedBoxChiliPepper raping an MCI operator 7║XALADDIN.GIF║ 195k║Uh huh 8║XMAS2 .GIF║ 30k║RBCP's Christmas photo '94. 9║ZENA1 .GIF║ 151k║The PLA kidnapping Jim Bayless 4║DENISE14.GIF║ 57k║A girl named Denise watching a Gerbil 5║DENISE16.GIF║ 42k║Denise running amok with a stick 6║DEY-SUSA.GIF║ 58k║Chris Tomkinson watching buffy the vampire slayer 7║DONA .GIF║ 31k║Donna scanning cordless Phones 8║EJ1 .GIF║ 7k║Kith kanan dancing the jig 9║FLADY001.GIF║ 67k║Nancy Reagan giving chris the ride of his life 10║FLADY002.GIF║ 69k║Ronald Reagan giving chris the ride of his life 11║GESS101E.GIF║ 71k║A gerbil working on the Telco ESS 12║GFB051 .GIF║ 78k║Todd Ahlers molesting a kittycat 13║GL#40PSL.GIF║ 117k║Roy's Place, Telly speaking 15║HOTTEST2.GIF║ 114k║A picture of the sun 18║KATYA .GIF║ 90k║Katya sitting on the couch eating Pringles chips 20║KRAFT75 .GIF║ 184k║A GIF of a plate of Kraft American Cheese 1║LORETTA .GIF║ 168k║Have you seen my dentures? 5║MONKEY .GIF║ 46k║A monkey & a gerbil having sex 6║MOORE02 .GIF║ 79k║Mary Tyler Moore eating broccli. 7║MPOST .GIF║ 50k║Jason Crews standing on a post, eating denture tablets 8║ORIENT3 .GIF║ 37k║Todd Ahlers smearing himself with Egg Foo Young 9║ORIENT4 .GIF║ 30k║Pork fried Rice 10║ORIENT7 .GIF║ 23k║soy sauce 11║PASSION1.GIF║ 55k║Chris TOmkinson passionately touching his armpit 12║PASSION2.GIF║ 58k║Chris Tomkinson passionately touching his mom. 13║PASSION3.GIF║ 55k║Chris Tomkinson losing his lunch in the toilet 14║PAULINAN.GIF║ 79k║Mr. Pauli Nan drowning in oatmeal 15║PEARLS .GIF║ 83k║A naked pic of my dog. 16║PUSSY .GIF║ 39k║A picture of Chris Tomkinson's shaved pussy 17║SOAPY .GIF║ 26k║A picture of an Oregon Relay Operator taking a bath 18║SUZIEQ .GIF║ 50k║RBCP's mom tied up with a lamp cord 19║TRACY .GIF║ 56k║Tracy hacking on the internet 20║VANNA-W .GIF║ 38k║Vanna White doing her taxes. 1║VLR5 .GIF║ 59k║Ryan Grant stroking a stereo 2║VPBATH .GIF║ 89k║Jamie had her remote control socks 3║WET .GIF║ 73k║A picture of a garden hose. 4║WHOME1 .GIF║ 118k║Mr. Beef Head 5║WORK .GIF║ 29k║Artie, the strongest man in the world 6║WORKOUT .GIF║ 96k║RedBoxChiliPepper raping an MCI operator 7║XMAS2 .GIF║ 30k║RBCP's Christmas photo '94. 8║ZENA1 .GIF║ 151k║Chris Tomkinson's dad And that's all. Most of it isn't understandable because they deal with private jokes so I'll try to enlighten those who really care. Jim Bayless is an Ameritech employee, Chris Tomkinson is an back stabbing kind of old friend, Danny Colwell is a thieving little shit, Ryan Grant is Chris Tomkinson's roommate and possible lover in college, Roy is Roy, Todd Ahlers is a person who has the misfortune to own a telephone and Jason Crews is an uptight little nobody who always forgets to bring the milk in, Brent Deterding (Deter) is a little lame-o kid who everyone likes to laugh at alot and gets beat up in school all the time and tries to use calling cards straight from his home. _______________________________________________________________________________ ---Phone Losers Of America Headline News--- _______________________________________________________________________________ "Two Phone Company Employees Charged With Assault" - associated press OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Two employees of Southwestern Bell are facing up to three years in prison and fines of up to $5000 each for assaulting a local citizen. Roy Coldwell, 29 and Darin McCall, 35, both telephone linemen for Southwestern Bell both claim that a local resident had opened up one of their trucks while they were sitting inside on a lunch break, grabbed a Bell hat and ran. Coldwell, once a U.S. Olympic marathon winner soon caught up to the resident and forced him to the ground, knocking the Bell hat out of his hands and began to beat the resident to a bloody pulp with his lineman's handset. McCall then arrived on the scene, kicking the victim with his Bell issued steel toed boots. Luckily, the event occurred in front of Rhonda's Donut Shop and Officer O'Mally was able to stop the employees. Both Coldwell and McCall are being held in the Oklahoma county jail on $25,000 bond. The victim, who's name is not yet being released, is in stable condition and recovering at the OKCITY hospital. It is rumored that he is a member of Poi. <FakE NeWs> _______________________________________________________________________________ Colleen Card found a pretty interesting article in the local paper. It will probably make you think twice about trying certain things described in PLA003. VENTURA, CA - A man furious over a failed land deal took it out on the property owner by having 90,000 magazines sent to her address. "I got every known magazine on the face of the Earth," lawyer Theresa McConville said after Reynaldo Fong was sentenced Tuesday. Fong got a year in jail for forging her name on subscription forms. "He could have won a Nobel prize if he would have put as much energy into his job as he did with me, " said McConville of Camarillo, who got the unsolicited magazines over the past 13 years. Fong, 45, of Santa Paula is an anesthesiologist from the Philippines who has been in the United States illegally since his visa expired in 1980. According to a probation report, Fong said he had a vendetta against McConville because she rejected his bid for land she was selling. _______________________________________________________________________________ RALIEGH, NC - Kevin Mitnick, recently captured for illegal computer hacking, has possibly added a few more years to his possible sentence by pulling yet another stunt from his prison cell. The vetran computer hacker was denied all access to a public prison phone for fear that he would cause even more trouble but what authorities apparently forgot to do a full body cavity search on Mitnick. Two weeks after being sent to prison, Mitnick remember hiding a cellular phone in his butt cheeks. After a little digging around he was able to locate the phone and made several calls to various long distance companies, shutting down phone service for much of the Eastern United States and ordering flowers for Lenny DeCicco, his old partner in crime. Mitnick was unavailble for comment. <faKe NewS> ╒═════════════Contact═The═Phone═Losers═Of═America═Nearest═You!═══════════════╕ │ Voice: │ Data: │ │ 512-370-4680 PLA Voicemail System │ 618-797-2339 PLA BBS Illinois Line │ ╞════════════════════════════════════╡ 512-883-7543 PLA BBS Texas Line │ │ U.S. Mailing Address: │ 512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems │ │ Phone Losers Of America ╞═══════════════════════════════════════╡ │ P.O. Box 3642 │ FTP Site: FTP.FC.NET │ │ Corpus Christi, TX 78463 │ directory pub\deadkat\incoming\PLA │ │ │ (Thanks to Disorder & Deadkat!) │ ╘════════════════════════════════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════╛