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- ╒019══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════019╕
- │ The Phone Losers Of America Present │
- │ Call Forwarding Fun - RedBoxChiliPepper │
- ╞════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╡
- │ Written On January 15, 1995 Last Revision on February 2, 1995 │
- ╞════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╡
- │ For Informational Purposes Only. We're Not Responsible For Your Stupidity. │
- ╘019══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════019╛
-
- Ever think of the extreme fun you can have by being able to answer your next
- door neighbor's phone just as if it were your own? Well, now not only can you
- answer the next door neighbor's phone, you can answer anyone's phone in the
- entire United States. Any person, any business. You'll be using the phone
- company's call forwarding service.
-
- Not only can you use call forwarding just to answer their phone and mess with
- people's minds, you can also:
-
- o Forward their calls to an AT&T Alliance Teleconferencing number so you and
- your friends can enjoy hours of free conferencing at their expense.
- o Forward all their calls to a number in Australia to run up their phone bill
- really high.
- o Forward their calls to you to beat the Western Union security and wire
- yourself $2000
-
- Ordering Call Forwarding:
- ------------------------
- It's easy to do, you simply call up the local phone company billing office and
- tell them you want call forwarding on your (your victim's) line. They'll set it
- up for you and sometimes charge $15.oo or so to hook it up but that's not your
- problem.
-
- They'll tell you what day it'll go into effect and explain to you how to use
- it and everything. The code used for forwarding will either be 72# or *72. At
- least that's how it's always been for me.
-
- Using Call Forwarding Legally:
- -----------------------------
- Let's say that we were going to use call forwarding legitimately. You call the
- phone company billing office and ask them for call forwarding. After it goes
- into effect, you decide that you want to forward all your calls to your friend
- a few blocks away because you're going over there to get drunk. You pick up
- your phone and dial "72#" which gives you a second dial tone. Then you dial
- your friend's house "428-9204" and he answers the phone. You say, "Yo, Adrian,
- I'm commin' over with the Busch and I forwarded my calls to your house." and
- he says, "Dude. Cool. Okay." and you both hang up. Now everyone that calls your
- house is going to get his house instead.
-
- What if his line is busy or there's no answer because Adrian's out in the back
- yard setting things on fire? Hang up the phone and pick it up again. Dial "72#"
- and "428-9204" again. You'll get a dial tone and you hang up. Your calls are
- now all forwarded to his house.
-
- Getting The Number Forwarded:
- ----------------------------
- The thing about forwarding other people's calls is that you can't be in their
- house to do all this unless you're a breaking and entering type of person which
- I try not to be. My solution to that is to call them up and bullshit them a
- little bit and talk them into dialing the numbers for me. It's pretty easy.
- Most people aren't familiar with call forwarding and even those that are fall
- for it.
-
- HIM: Hello?
- YOU: Hi, is this Rob Berry?
- HIM: Yes?
- YOU: Hi, this is Larry with Southwestern Bell repair. Have you been having some
- problems with your phone line lately? You know, dialing out, receiving
- strange phone calls, the phone getting up and dancing around on the desk,
- that kind of thing?
- HIM: Uh, no, uh...well, not that I'm aware of.
- YOU: Well, we've been checking on your lines because our computers show that
- you've been having problems dialing out from your house.
-
- At this point you just keep bullshitting him for a few seconds but don't draw
- it out too long. (The longer you talk, the better chance you have at making a
- mistake and making him skeptical of you.) End your conversation like this.
-
- YOU: Sir, would you mind calling up our residential office here in St. Louis
- so the repair center can run a test for you on your line and tell you if
- there's still a problem? This will save you the cost of having to have a
- truck sent out to your house.
- HIM: Sure, I can do that. (Anything to save a buck...Cheapskate.)
- YOU: I'm going to give you the number here for the office in Wood River...Have
- you got a pen? ...Okay, dial 72 Pound sign...254-9723. Got that?
- HIM: 72#-254-9723?
- YOU: Yeah, be sure to dial the 72# first so we'll be able to run the test on
- your line. That way, they'll be able to tell you at the office if your
- line's doing okay.
- HIM: Alright, well, I'll give them a call.
- YOU: Okay, you'll probably want to call right away because the office will be
- closing any time now.
-
- You now exchange hearty farewells with this good man and hang up, eagerly
- awaiting his phone call back to you. Note that 254-9723 is the pay phone at
- the donut shop where you're standing. As soon as he calls you, all his calls
- will automatically be forwarded to this pay phone. If someone wants to use the
- phone while you're waiting for him to call, tell them to fuck off and that
- there's a phone over at Wal-Greens they can use. Watch their stunned face.
- (Either that or they'll beat the shit outof you!)
-
- Your eyes light up as your pay phone rings. You answer in a totally different
- voice. (Or you have your friend answer if you have any friends.)
-
- YOU: Residential repair, Wood River. May I help you?
- HIM: (Explains this situation to you about this myterious problem on his line
- that he knows nothing about.)
- YOU: Okay, could I have your area code and phone number, please?
- HIM: 618-692-9717
- YOU: Okay, um....alright did you dial the code 72# before you called me.
- HIM: Yes, I did. I'm very gullible.
- YOU: Okay, let me check this out......(Mutter to yourself, pretend to type,
- pretend that you're wearing an expensive suit) Okay, I'm showing that we
- had some problems on your line but they all seem to have been taken care
- of yesterday morning. You shouldn't have anymore trouble there.
-
- Like I said, you don't have to be at the pay phone. But remember, if nobody
- answers the pay phone that he's trying to call, it won't work unless he hangs
- up and tries again so if you're not there, say something to him like, "If
- there's no answer on the first try, just hang up and try again." Here's the
- plot I usually use to trick 7-Elevens and similar stores.
-
- YOU: "Hi, this is Bob from the Visa Credit Card Company. We didn't get your
- batch reports from the computer tonight, is there some kind of problem
- there?"
- HIM: "Uhhhhhhhhhh........what?
- YOU: (Try to speak on a third-grade level and make him understand.) "Your
- computer was supposed to call us and send us your daily reports for your
- credit card machine there. We haven't got the reports today."
- HIM: "Oh.........So what do you want?"
- YOU: "Has your manager showed you how to send them in manually?"
- HIM: "No."
- YOU: "Okay, can you get a piece of paper and a pen so I can give you a
- number to write down?"
- HIM: "Alright, hold on..." (Meanwhile, he's looking for a pen and lighting
- another Marlboro cigarette.) "...Okay, here's one."
- YOU: "Okay, write down this number...72#-254⌐9723" (Be sure to speak
- slowly so he'll understand.)
- HIM: "So I just dial this number?"
- YOU: "Yeah, just dial that number and we'll get our reports. Be sure to do it
- right away so I can get done here and go home. And if it's busy, try it
- again and it should go through."
- HIM: "Uhhhhhhhh....okay."
-
- Hang up with him and wait for his call at the pay phone you're standing at.
- When it rings, answer, "Visa Batch Report Dudes. Is this Mr. Gullible Night
- Man?" or some other real-sounding greeting. Be sensitive to the night man's
- feelings and get rid of him as quickly as possible. After you hang up, all
- 7-Eleven's calls are forwarded to your pay phone and will be until the manager
- of the store finally figures out what is going on. (In other words, next year.)
-
- Beige Boxing:
- ------------
- If your victim is just too damn smart and won't fall for your phone company
- schemes, your only choice is to do it yourself by plugging in your own telephone
- into the box on the outside of his house.
-
- It's best to wait until really late at night when your victim is asleep. Visit
- his house first in the day time to case the joint, looking for the best places
- to hide, escape routes, etc, just in case somebody sees you and you have to
- haul ass. Also find out where his little phone box is on his house.
-
- Bring your own telephone, a flathead screwdriver and a flashlight. Most houses
- have the new boxes where you simply open the box with the flathead screwdriver
- and plug your modular phone right it. If it's an older box you're going to have
- to chop the modular plug off your phone and replace it with some roach clips
- that you can clip into his line.
-
- When you get into his line, try dialing an ANI number first to make sure that
- it's really his number. After you're sure, dial 72# and the number you want to
- forward his calls to. Close the box and go home!
-
- Remote Call Forwarding:
- ----------------------
- I experimented with this feature in Indiana and it came in really handy. It
- works the exact same way except you don't have to forward the calls from their
- house, instead you can do it from any phone in the world. When you order Remote
- Call Forwarding from the billing office, the operator will give you the Remote
- Access Number and a personal pin number which you use to change the forwarding
- number.
-
- For some reason, the phone companies don't think that it's a bad idea to just
- hand out pin numbers over the phone. So you call the Remote Access Number and
- it guides you through the system and asks you where you'd like your calls
- forwarded to. You're allowed to enter any area code and number. This means
- that you can't forward their calls to an Alliance number, 900 number or any-
- thing overseas.
-
- So you're limited a little bit here, but it's still nicer to have and you can
- turn it off when they get home so they won't notice anything funny until the
- end of the month when they get their phone bill. (Unless you've forwarded
- their bill somewhere else.)
-
- So call the billing office and ask them if they offer the remote call
- forwarding service. Another service to look for is Call Forwarding Busy. This
- service forwards your calls only when your line is busy.
-
- Miscellaenous Notes:
- ------------------
- When you forward someone's number and somebody calls that number, the person
- will hear a quick half-ring on their phone and then the call will be forwarded
- to wherever. This is to let them know that their calls are forwarded but
- usually only drives the owner of the phone crazy because they think someone is
- just calling them and hanging up.
-
- To put their calls back to normal, you'd have to dial 73# (or *73) from their
- house or on the Remote Access Number. You can't call them and bullshit them
- into doing it because when you call them, you'll be reaching wherever you
- forwarded their calls.
-
- People who find all their calls forwarded and somebody fucking with the people
- that call them usually don't seem to be too terribly happy when they get the
- phone bill. I can't figure out why.
-
- Alliance Teleconferencing:
- -------------------------
- You can also use the forwarding trick and forward all of someone's phone calls
- to an AT&T Alliance number. These numbers offer teleconferencing for up to
- fifteen of your friends and the person who's phone you've forwarded get's
- stuck with the bill. Keep in mind, though, that when the person get's their
- phone bill, every number you dialed in Alliance is going to show up on the
- bill.
-
- I have a very small list of Alliance numbers here. They all basically do the
- same thing and I've heard that different locations have different options and
- features, but you use them all pretty much the same way.
-
- 0-700-456-1000 Finds an open service to use.
- 0-700-456-1001 Reno, NY
- 0-700-456-1002 Chicago, IL
- 0-700-456-1003 White Plains, NY
- 0-700-456-1004 Dallas, TX
-
- It doesn't really matter which one you want to use. I've always stuck with the
- Chicago number because it's the closest to me and it never seems to be busy.
- When you call to get your victim to forward his calls, you have to make sure
- he goes through the AT&T carrier so if he's not an AT&T subscriber, the number
- you would have him dial would be: 72#-10288-0-700-456-1002. To use the service
- after that, just call up your victim's house. You'll be connected to Alliance
- and he'll get the bill for it next month.
-
- Once you've connected to the number, you'll hear a mind-piercing beep noise.
- An automated voice will ask you how many people you wish to have on the
- conference. On Chicago, 15 people is the max. If you ask for more than 15
- people, the automated voice refers you to a different number.
-
- The automated voice will tell you to dial your first number. Dial it in the
- fashion "1-xxx-xxx-xxxx" and you'll hear it ringing. After they answer, tell
- them what's going on and press the "#" key to add them to the conference.
-
- That person will now be on a silent line since he's the first person you
- called. If you need to talk to him press "#" to go into the conference. To
- get back to the menu, press "#" again.
-
- To add more people just repeat the same process over and over. After they
- answer the phone, press "#" to send them into the conference. When you want
- to stop adding people and join the conference yourself, press "#". To add
- more people, press "#" again. If the number you dial is busy, a wrong number,
- no answer or they don't want to talk on the conference, press "*" to
- disconnect them.
-
- Fun Things To Do In Alliance:
- ----------------------------
- If the phone you're calling from has 3-way calling on it, you can do the
- forwarding trick twice, call up two seperate Alliance numbers and you'll be
- able to have 30 people on at once instead of just 15. Believe me, though, 15
- people is enough.
-
- Call up Domino's Pizza or Pizza Hut. Have everyone join in and try to order a
- pizza all at once. Have everyone argue about the toppings, size and where it's
- to be sent to. The pizza man usually get flustered and just hangs up but it's
- good for a few laughs.
-
- Call The White House and mess with them for awhile. Remember, if they trace
- the call, they'll only trace it to 7-Eleven or wherever you forwarded the
- calls from. You'll probably read in the paper the next morning about a clerk
- being arrested for espionage.
-
- Dial numbers out of the phone book at random and just fuck with people.
- Harrassing phone calls can be so much more fun when there's 15 people on the
- line. Remember, though, after you've added someone to the conference, there is
- no way you can get rid of them unless they hang up their phone. So if you make
- a prank phone call to someone, remember, they can stay on and listen in as
- long as they want.
-
- The only way to throw them off is to hang up your phone and start all over or
- you can hit "#" and "0" to get an operator to kick them off. A way to avoid
- this, though, is have someone on the conference dial the victim's phone number
- on their 3-way calling rather than going through Alliance or use your own
- 3-way calling. Then you can hang up whenever you want to.
-
- Dial a lot of overseas numbers and see who you can reach. You'll wake up alot
- of people who are always startled to hear 15 people on their phone at once.
-
- Add someone to the conference and ignore them. Make them think that none of
- you can hear them saying, "Hello? Helloooo? Who is this? Hello?"
-
- Dial a number at random and when they answer, have everyone join in a chorus
- of "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne or any popular song and see if the person
- you called will join in with you. For best results try the theme song to
- "The Flintstones" or "The Brady Bunch".
-
- Call about apartments for rent and tell them that all 15 of you are moving in.
-
- Pretend to be trapped in a phone booth with all these people.
-
- Miscellenous Fun Calls:
- ----------------------
- Here's a few ideas for you when you forward someone's number. These ideas are
- both from experience and just things I've been wanting to do for a long time.
- You know that annoying recording you get when you call a movie theater? On a
- Friday or Saturday evening, forward all the calls going to that recording line
- to your pay phone so when people call the recording to find out what's showing,
- they get you instead. This is probably the funnest thing to do with call
- forwarding. On weekend nights, the recording line is ringing off the hook.
- After you've forwarded the Quad Cinema's line, pick one of these greetings when
- you answer the phone...
- 1 "Quad Cinema, what the FUCK DO YOU WANT CALLING HERE!?"
- 2 "Quad Cinema, this had better be good. I'm busy."
- 3 "Quad Cinema, whadaya need?
- 4 "I suppose you're wanting to know what movies are playin'?"
- 5 "Thank you so much for calling the Quad Cinema on this beautiful,
- extraordinary Tuesday evening, this is Bob speaking how may I be
- of assisstance, oh mighty, faithful, godlike potential patron of
- my establishment."
-
- Here are some answers to commonly asked questions...
-
- T:"Are you open tonight?"
- U:"Are we open tonight? That's probably the stupidest question I've ever heard.
- It's Friday night of COURSE we're open. You think I just sit here all night
- answering the phone for dumbfucks like you while we're closed?"
- T:"What movies are playing there?"
- U:"What, you don't own a paper? Can't you go out and BUY a newspaper to find
- out what's playing? Why don't you go next door and borrow your neighbor's
- paper? Maybe you could have called the recording line instead of calling me?"
- T:"Do you have senior citizens discounts?"
- U:"How old are you?...68?...Geez, lady, you're OLD. You have one foot in the
- grave, don't ya? Actually, you sound older than 68. I'd guess 93 by the
- sound of your voice. Why do you want a senior discount? Are you on welfare
- and can't afford the extra two bucks admission or what? Or maybe you're
- savin' up for plastic surgery to get rid of those disgusting wrinkles all
- over your body."
- T:"What rating is that movie?"
- U:"It's rated NC-8. You have to be at least eight years old to see it because
- it has lots of nudity and violence in it."
-
- Tired of being a rude person? Try being a stupid person instead. This pisses
- people off even more than when you're rude.
-
- T:"Yeah, what's playing there tonight?"
- U:"I dunno."
- T:"Isn't this the movie theater?"
- U:"Yeah."
- T:"So what movies do you have."
- U:"Oh, you know...that one cop movie with the guy in it and that girl..."
- T:"What are the prices of your tickets?"
- U:"Beats me, you're askin' the wrong person."
- T:"Is there someone there who can tell me?"
- U:"Naw, I'm the only one here right now, they're all busy. I just come here on
- Friday and Saturday nights to answer the phone so the ticket lady doesn't
- have to."
- T:"Don't you have a list or something there of what's playing?"
- U:"Yeah, I got one at home but I forgot bring it with me tonight. You can call
- tomorrow and I'll probably have it. You can't expect me to memorize all that
- stuff."
- T:"Could I speak to your manager?"
- U:"He's workin' concession right now. If you wanna hold for about 20 minutes I
- can go fetch him."
-
- Okay, now try being polite and giving off the wall, incorrect information.
- What really throws people off is when you tell them you're showing a sneak
- preview of a movie that doesn't exist that they'll really want to see like,
- "Home Alone 5" or"Silence Of The Lambs 2" or "Terminator 3." I can just picture
- the little girl's disappointment when she arrives at the theater all happy and
- then finds out that there really isn't a "Home Alone 3." Poor kid.
-
- And then there's movies that have strange names that don't exist like, "Home
- Alone 3: Lost in Wazoo Coounty, Alabama" or "Bill & Ted's Homosexual Adventure
- (ratedXXX)" or perhaps "Snail." You know, that new documentary movie on the
- mating habits of Snails. A great movie for children to see.
-
- T:"What's playing tonight?"
- U:"Oh, I'm sorry, we had to close the theater down."
- T:"Close it down?"
- U:"Yeah, it was demolished by mistake. They were supposed to knock down the
- building next door but they accidentally got the adresses mixed up and tore
- down the theater instead. We were all devistated."
-
- T:"What's showing tonight?"
- U:"We have Debbie Does Des Moines and Backdoor Bonanza part III."
- T:"Aren't those pornos?"
- U:"Well, yeah, of course. Didn't you hear about the hostile takeover? We're
- strictly a porno theater now but we WILL let your children in as long as
- you accompany them in inside. You know, we still want to promote that
- family image."
-
- Lemme tell ya, the customers' reactions are hilarious when you treat them this
- way. You might want to lug a video camera to the theater's lobby and tape all
- the angry people who drive there to yell at the manager. Here's a few ideas
- for forwarding a pizza place.
-
- 1 "Domino's Pizza, would you like to try our special tonight, Froot Loop
- Pizza? If you order two of them you get a free 2 liter of milk!"
- 2 "(Sing the lastest pizza jingle.)"
- 3 "Hello?....Huh?....Who is this, I was sleeping. It's almost 8:30, you know!
- Listen here, punk. I HAVE fucking CALLER I.D. and I'll KILL you if you
- call me again!!!"
-
- U:"Domino's, may I help you?"
- T:"Yeah, I'd like a large mushroom pizza."
- U:"Oh, we're out of pizzas tonight, sir."
- T:"Out of pizzas?"
- U:"Yes, sir. We can still deliver you a Pepsi, though. Would you like a Pepsi
- tonight? We're having a special."
-
- U:"UPS, may I help you?"
- T:"I thought this was Pizza Hut."
- U:"Oh, it is, but we had a hostile takeover last week by the United Parcel
- Service so I have to answer the phone, 'UPS' now."
- T:"You were bought out by UPS?"
- U:"Yes, but we still offer the same quality service as ever and we deliver our
- pizzas in big, brown UPS trucks for fast, dependable service you can count
- on."
-
- ╒═════════════Contact═The═Phone═Losers═Of═America═Nearest═You!═══════════════╕
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