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- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
- - P.I.S.S. Philez Number 27 =
- = -
- - The Hacking Life =
- = -
- - by AT2SCreech =
- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-
- [Yes I know that may not have been an appropriate title, but you come
- down here and edit all these files. Sheesh! -Def]
-
- Hackers, what are we and what are we doing here of all places, in
- the Navy, serving a country some people would rather destroy than see
- live another day? There is a difference between living in a country and
- existing in one, I am not sure what group you fall into, (or may think
- you do,) but I will at least try and explain so bear with me. People who
- exist someplace are the ones who accept what they are given, never think
- about anything except what their televisions tell them, they want to be
- spoon-fed information by CNN and their local religious leaders, it is
- entirely to hard for them to make up their own minds about how to live
- their lives so they let others do it for them. If you're mad at that last
- statement, you are probably in that category. That's where what I am
- trying to point out comes into play, the minute anyone charges them with
- changing their personal status quo they immediately go on the offensive
- and hide behind shallow ideological or political philosophy... without
- change there is no evolution.
- Cyberpunks, hackers, and phreaks for the most part, are just some
- of the groups of people that actually live, these are people that have
- control over their own destinies and expend a great deal of
- technology-oriented creative energy in doing so. We are the white, (not
- racially, the moral alignment,) mages, the closet techno-philosophers,
- the dark geeks and computer addicted rejects of today's society.
- What I find most amusing about it is that people actually want to
- become this way, and when they get their first taste of the lifestyle
- they reel back with a bad taste in their mouths, preferring to regard the
- computer underground as something out of "Wargames" or the aptly titled,
- (and seriously lame,) "Hackers." They get scared off by the hours of
- typing, reading, studying, learning and searching for the one last piece
- of the puzzle in the internet ocean. They don't understand, (my
- ex-girlfriend had particular problems with the last and this next one)
- why we want to spend six hours walking through a dilapidated warehouse
- filled with dirty and defunct computer parts and then actually buying
- some of it. They don't understand why we don't party or go out,
- preferring instead to spend time behind the screen in a quiet room
- listening to music and typing away or reading. They don't understand how
- you can tell someone you've never seen everything you know about
- yourself, and yet you won't tell them. You can trust someone that knows
- you by what your brain holds and your abilities and hasn't judged you by
- what you look like. Just because someone looks like the label you are
- trying to pin on them doesn't mean anything, all it means is you have
- some well developed stereotypes.
- Being in the Navy...and doing the same thing? Some people are
- bound to accuse me of selling out everything that I claim to be by
- working for "The Man." The military has treated me well, they gave me a
- job, pay me, (it's not much but enough that I can live comfortably,)
- taught me vast volumes of information without hesitation, let me work on
- some damn badass hardware, and ask only that I get an occasional funny
- haircut and come to work on time. It's what you make of it that matters.
- There are very few of us in the military, most of us never see or hear
- from each other except in little moments that make up for the lost time.
- We retain everything we see, learn from every possible source and move
- on, sorting out the reality from the bullshit. Those of us that are here
- exist in kind of a bastard realm, not really a part of anything because
- we know so much that is considered "magic," thus scaring off the vast
- majority from associating with us. I sometimes sit and wonder what it
- would have been like to lead a completely normal life, to have gone to
- college instead of this, I wonder if what I would be doing there is the
- same as over here. Games of semantics mostly, but it has it's purpose. It
- kicks ass being on the outside like this, alot of the personal stuff that
- goes on the military is seriously reminiscent of high school, you'd be
- amazed at what some of your tax dollars are paying for.
- It's funny more than anything else, watching people stab each
- other in the back and listen to the who is screwing who rumors, (there
- are alot of them in a thoroughly mixed male/female Navy.) The only part
- that eats is when something goes wrong with the computer system, or
- someone does something puerile on the net or whatever, the fingers all
- come stabbing at you like knives and your knowledge of computers. They
- have some sort of idea that since you can use the hell out of DOS, beat
- UNIX up on the side, (we use Novell's UnixWare, quick little tangent- god
- I would love to add a "z" to the end of that and watch people shit
- themselves trying to figure out what "UnixWarez" means ;) and posses some
- modicum of understanding as to how the LAN works that you're some sort of
- hacker. I actually had a couple of people yelling at the top of their
- lungs one day about whether or not I was or was not a "hacker," it was
- flattering and embarrassing at the same time. I was in the same room
- copying some philez for someone who couldn't use DOS when they decided
- that I was "their" personal hacker, someone else objected and a debate
- ensued as to my status. I am what I am and I embrace it fully, but I am
- not someone's personal anything.
- It bothers me that the Navy has the image that it does of
- cyberpunks, (I realize that I am using GibsonÆs definition rather
- loosely, forgive me,) in general, for instance I was up talking to one of
- my friends in the Admin department when I noticed something taped to
- desk. A picture depicting various enemies of an innocent looking Navy
- computer, one of them was a cyberpunk, he had spike hair, bad foakley
- sunglasses and a leather jacket. Looked more like Sid Vicious than anyone
- else, what disturbed me more than that it was the false perception that
- this forces on people, that we're all a bunch of motorcycle riding
- computer thrashing assholes. I don't look like that...nor do I imagine
- you do either, yet again people are going to start believing the urban
- myths that start with false information like this, and pretty soon any
- kid with a laptop and a PCMCIA modem is going to be a hacker out to break
- into your bank account or crash the power grid in their city. The fact
- that they may actually know alot about computers is going to reinforce
- this belief, this false image. They'll never ask him/her what they're
- doing, they'll just have them arrested and go home to their equally
- uninformed spouses and brag that they stopped another dirty
- hacker-bastard. Not thinking for a minute that they may have busted
- someone that would never dare overstep their bounds, they just wanted to
- learn...and since they wouldn't teach whoever...they had to do it on
- their own. Punish the motivated, screw the smart, blast the thinkers,
- ignore their questions and maybe they'll all go away, don't answer your
- fone, turn on the TV, crank the radio, buy prepackaged lives, go to bars,
- believe the hype, laugh at people fighting for your rights, cross at the
- light only, register your warranty, dispose of unused portions, open junk
- mail, respond or lose your chance to win, don't have sex, go to bars and
- ogle people, wear makeup, buy nice clothes that look good, lose weight,
- eat trendy food, drink coffee and try to look intellectual, stand in this
- line, for faster service...get an appointment, have all paperwork ready
- before you get to the window, place thumb on scan pad, fill in your
- social security number, read this fully before answering any questions,
- answer yes or no when asked: "do you understand these rights as I have
- read them to you," use before the date on the container, exercise
- restraint, buy this, do that, listen to this, some conditions/side
- effects not applicable to all product users, BELIEVE WHAT WE TELL YOU
- BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH. WHY? Because we say so and billions before you
- did...and died for it. You don't know enough to dare ask such a question
- of us. Go ahead and live in that world, it's ultimately your choice. I'd
- prefer not to though.
- It is not exactly easy living like this, as what is generally
- perceived as a menace and not a contributor to the whole. Actually to put
- use the most applicable word, it sucks. There isn't a day that doesn't go
- by that I don't think about what is going to happen if the full extent of
- my talents and what exactly I can do with them is realized by one source
- or another and I am persecuted for it. They simply won't understand that
- I can't stop this, I could easier cease breathing than stop using a
- computer and learning what I am so driven to. I don't know, maybe it's an
- addiction to be cured, a problem to be solved, another aberration to be
- eliminated from society. I can't explain this drive to learn, the need to
- hear the modem and watch the screen as I download another text phile or
- pull another diagram or article for future reference. The closest thing
- that I can liken it to is being hungry, (bet that you thought I was going
- to say sex, please, comparisons to sex are so overrated,) having a closet
- full of food and not understanding what to eat and wanting Chinese
- carry-out suddenly. This is like all other things, it has become what
- some people would regard as an obsession, but in reality it is nothing
- more than our society evolving into it's next form. Half of a millenium
- ago the predecessors of what I am were burned at the stake for their
- investigations into the esoteric and ignored realms of science and
- medicine, now we trust these once heretics with not only our lives but
- everyone's around us. I would expect no less than to be figuratively
- burned for my quest, society has changed but like all things the cyclic
- nature of history proves that we act in steady and predictable manners.
- Every time something new comes along we shake trees, gnash teeth and get
- mad at the people doing "it" until such a point that everyone is doing
- "it" and anyone not doing "it" gets labeled with derisive terms like
- "dork" and generally regarded as annoying. Anyone guilty of trying to
- bring about change always gets the bad rap, and unfortunately it's not,
- (usually,) until after the smoke clears that we finally accept the work
- of these pioneers- building them statues and monuments to commemorate the
- work they so slaved to do. A futile but recognized societal apology for
- the bullshit that they were forced to put up with. They try so hard to
- make it look like they were there for whoever the entire time, and they
- manage to do so only for a little while before the true nature of the
- fallacy comes to light.
- Has it changed me? My perspectives? The way that I look at life
- and those around me? You bet your ass it has. I canÆt stand people on
- AOL now, I never minded them before but now the sheep-like qualities of
- these people just drive me insane. The fact that they are willing to
- tolerate bullshit rules and shaky access to something that they are
- paying for, and what they are paying for it, is total crap. I find it
- EXTREMELY difficult to not blast people who make computer mistakes, (the
- computer illiterate, I have never flamed anyone without cause or them
- first demonstrating behavior to deserve it,) like saying they are going
- to "download" something from a computer to a 3.5 disk, or theyÆre going
- to "hack the computer and crash it because that would be so fucking
- funny." I hear this a lot where I work, every little idiot that can type
- theyÆre name into a terminal thinks that since they can do that it makes
- them a "hacker." I prefer hanging out with my computer than I do with my
- a lot of my former "friends," those that have stuck with me during the
- two years during my change into what I am now think that because of what
- I know I am a god, steering clear of angering me because of "what those
- hackers can do." There are times when I wish that I could tell them that
- itÆs not like that, you donÆt just sit around and think of the next swear
- word to put in your quasi-political rant the next time you hack the CIA
- website. ThereÆs rules to this, you go in, learn all you can and leave
- without harm, and hopefully without detection. The Mentor was right,
- this machine, this collection of the chicanery of science doesnÆt judge
- me, it doesnÆt want anything from me, it does what I ask and when it
- screws up itÆs because of something that I did to it to make it that way.
- It doesnÆt want me to do something for it in order to work, (aside from
- plugging it in,) and it listens to what I have to say, it exists in a
- kind of symbiosis with me, it learns from me and I learn from it. Most
- people are ill equipped to deal with this sort of reality, they donÆt
- understand that you come to this point after hours of SERIOUS study and
- experiment, itÆs not an overnight thing. You just donÆt wake up one
- morning and decide that youÆre now a hacker. Yes, I realize I am still a
- newbie compared to some, but I wasnÆt "born" yesterday, or my "incept
- date" wasnÆt in the last seven days for those of you who are Bladerunner
- fans.
- I am a hacker, I know that much to be true. What I do and who I
- am are of my own determination, my occupation really has nothing to do
- with it. The Navy is more than a collection of individuals, it is the sum
- of all of it's parts and reflects that in the way it works, sometimes
- good and sometimes bad, mostly good though. There are going to be people
- that aren't going to like this idea very much, (especially my little
- classification of myself,) but if you have problems e-mail me and I will
- happily yammer away for awhile with you. You can learn alot from just
- listening to people and what they have to say, more than most people
- would like to have you knowing but then again, the question remains, who
- and what are you...and what do you want to learn? That's the point, I
- don't know what you are. Who you are is conjecture, who anyone really is
- anymore is all conjecture, spoofed IP's, fake mail, doctored pictures and
- plastic surgery have made it impossible to tell. We are composites of
- what we have said, seen and done, and there is no altering that for
- anyone. You can paint a barn blue but it is still going to be a barn,
- only blue. The chickens, horses, cows, stink of hay and bullshit is still
- going to live inside, and there isn't much you can do about it for that
- matter. We are what we are.
-
- [Fuckin A!]
-
- AT2Screech
-
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------
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-
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