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- |---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
- | |
- | There Ain't No Justice |
- | |
- | #133 |
- | |
- |---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
- - The God -
- by Arifel
-
-
- This, the latest in a succession of places to live; a library. An
- ex-library, to be more precise; an ex-primary school's children's
- library, to be exact. After I'd dusted it out and stacked the
- disassembled shelves in one corner, it looked quite presentable.
-
- I was lucky to get this place; after the school had closed, the main
- rooms were being rented out to clubs, the tiny gymnasium to sports
- groups; the library was the only room that wasn't laid out for
- meetings. The caretaker had been glad to hand the place over to me
- for fifty dollars a fortnight. Officially, he wasn't supposed to do
- this; the place wasn't zoned as residential, but he wasn't about to
- complain, being a hundred bucks a month richer, and no-one noticed
- that I was getting free power from the school's main supply, and
- (until someone started asking questions), three free phone lines. In
- the dead of night, I'd shifted a refrigerator in; there was an
- octagonal pit that had been a kind of class-reading area, which I'd
- filled with mattresses, pillows, cushions, blankets and continental
- quilts. It served as a bed. The place no longer smelled of dust and
- disuse.
-
- I'd arranged candles on nearly every horizontal surface, and late at
- night, I'd light them all and turn off the overhead fluoros. It gave
- the place a medaeval atmosphere, like some old monastery. I walked
- over to the centre of the room where I'd ripped up some of the old
- carpet, revealing a patch of concrete about six metres across. Faint
- blue chalk marks drawn on the rough grey surface marked out the
- arcane symbol I'd found in the book, a rotten old almanac - one of
- many that Jerry had looted from the Vatican library shortly before
- he'd burned it to the ground. I knew why he'd given it to me; he
- knew that I was the only one game to try the summoning detailed
- within.
-
- For all that the work had been written in german-flavoured latin, I
- couldn't tell which particular faith had inspired this nameless
- book. I was reasonably certain it wasn't Hebraic or Cathar or
- Waldensian or Egyptian; it wasn't Celtic or Arabic or Druidic,
- although some of the illustrations contained a few elements of the
- Horned God. I was thankful for the translations and annotations; I
- could recognise perhaps one word in ten of the original.
-
- I put on the thick metal-studded collar which had been anointed with
- musk oils; a thick D-ring at the back attached to a loop of leather
- with a two-foot length of metal chain. I started the CD player:
- `Hybrid', by Brooks, Lanois and Eno, a sensual, rhythmic piece with a
- vaguely eastern air; then I arranged the incense at the quarters,
- sprinkled the powder in the burner and stood back as the grey smoke
- mushroomed out across the ceiling. It smelled rank, like animal fur
- after a rainstorm, simultaneously repellent and oddly seductive. I
- stood at the centre of the cleared space, hefted the one-pound bag of
- pure heroin and hacked a hole in the bottom with the athame. The
- white powder began falling to the floor in a three-hundred-dollar-
- a-gram dust storm. I grounded, centred, cleared my mind then filled
- my consciousness with the note, a bass F-sharp and began tracing out
- the symbol in heroin.
-
- Once it was complete, I went over the pattern again and again until
- the bag was empty, then tossed it aside. I took off my loose robe
- (the cold metal chain brushing against my nipples), went to the
- centre of the roughly elliptical form, raised the athame and (I
- always felt embarassed about this - what I imagined as the
- "performance-art" aspect of ceremonial magick) recalled the words.
- This was something of an experiment, really; the scribe who'd made
- the notes in the original book had mentioned that the effect was the
- same no matter what they chanted, as long as they said it with
- feeling. In keeping with the spirit of the original text, I went for
- a german invocation, using the words I'd first heard Blixa Bargeld
- declaiming at the Old Greek Theatre:
-
- Meint Ihr Nicht:
- wir koennten untershcrieben
- Auf das und eins biz zwei prozent gehoeren
- Und tausende uns hoerig sind;
-
- I couldn't be sure if I had all the words correct, but, as the book
- said, it was the feeling rather than the text, and I'd found an odd
- fascination with the power in that invocation. Belatedly, I thought
- about the sense of the words, and realised that they might be
- appropriate after all.
-
- Very quickly, I felt it: the air was charged as if lightning was
- about to strike. I continued with the invocation, the words ringing
- out proudly in the silence. The air thickened as if someone had
- turned on an array of fog machines; I finished the speech, the
- gutteral German syllables seeming to spark off my back teeth:
-
- ... nur noch kleine kriese ziehen.
- Wir Koennten, aber -
-
- There was a pause, a silence distrubed only by a faint crackling
- sound coming from the incense burner; then a hand fell on my
- shoulder, a hand the size of a dinner plate. I turned in that
- direction, steeling myself for the sight of what I'd summoned...
-
- It wasn't Cernunnos, but it may as well have been. He was well over
- two metres tall, muscular, broad-shouldered, carbon-black hair
- gathered in a ponytail over one shoulder a contrast to his pale skin.
- It was bound by a silver ring which was the only item of clothing he
- wore; his features stern, regal, the attitude of a king, or a God.
- Awed, I fell to my knees before him, which conveniently brought my
- face level with his crotch. The book had made mention of a demand
- for sexual favours, but using typically obscure latin
- circumlocutions, so that it wasn't clear exactly what price this
- summoning would exact. He was obviously used to being paid homage,
- however; he smiled down at me tolerantly and brushed my face with his
- fingers as if acknowledging my worship. I became aware of the smell
- of his genitals, an intensified version of the scent from the
- brazier; it reminded me of deep forest air, of wet ground after a
- storm. It made my heart race.
-
- He spoke, then; soft bass words that sounded, to my untrained ear,
- like Welsh. A question; all I could do was peer up at him
- apologetically. He glanced around the room, taking in the CD player,
- the dead fluoro lights, the modern bookshelves and furniture, then
- smiled down at me again. I felt a surge of warmth every time his
- attention was turned to me, like having a spotlight turned on you,
- like the smile of someone you love. To my surprise, he kneeled
- (still towering over me) and, his hands going under my arms he lifted
- me up, drew me closer to him, the warmth of his body radiating
- through me, dark eyes glittering in the candle-light, his lips
- meeting mine, his arms wrapped around me, their irresistable strength
- evident, enfolding me in his heat, my hands barely able to reach
- around and trace the subtle curves of his muscular back, down to his
- hips, over his corded thighs and around to where his penis was
- dangling almost to the floor. Boldly, I grasped it where it met his
- body in a thatch of unusually soft hair, squeezed gently; I felt his
- lips on mine smile, and I felt that incredible warmth again, almost
- like a reward. I squeezed again and felt the shaft swell, rising to
- press against my thigh. I squeezed harder, sliding my hand up and
- down the length (my God, I thought - Wilson was right about
- ithyphallic Gods! He would have to be at least fifteen inches long,
- erect) while he kissed me, slowly forcing me over until I fell back,
- this incredible being kneeling over me, looking down with what seemed
- like genuine affection; intensified by whatever magickal influence he
- had, it was like rising on a surge of warm air. My head fell back;
- my chest rose as I inhaled his scent. I wanted to keep breathing in
- until I burst.
-
- The insistent pressure of his growing erection against my side
- reminded me of what I was supposed to be doing here; as subserviently
- as I could, I pushed his arm out of the way, rolled from underneath
- and led him over to the octagonal bed area. He sat on the uppermost
- step while I kneeled between his legs and worshipped his phallus, the
- body of it as large as my forearm, barely able to fit the head in my
- mouth. I wrapped my hands around the base, squeezed and licked along
- the underside up to the head, kissed the end, slipped it between my
- lips and sucked gently. I ran my hands lovingly up and down its
- length, squeezing it between the open palms of my hands, gently
- grasped his testicles, carefully tugged his scrotum downward; felt
- him swell in me, forcing my tongue flat against my mouth, my lips
- straining to hold him. With care I could take about half his length;
- yet holding onto the base and sliding my lips over the end, licking
- and sucking desperately didn't satisfy him. After a while I sensed
- his growing impatience, something I didn't want to be responsible for
- causing. I wasn't pleasing him. There was only one thing to do, and
- I chose it despite the thought that it would most likely kill me. I
- carefully extricated the end of his erection from my mouth; stroking
- him with one hand, I reached out and found a flask of massage oil
- with the other; then, repressing my fear, I turned and knelt before
- him, my feet angled apart.
-
- He took the flask from me and I felt a trickle of cold liquid on the
- small of my back, running down between my buttocks. He traced its
- path with his finger, following it down, rubbing the tight knot of
- my anus with his knuckle, circling it then pressing his index finger
- against it, gently opening me. Lubricated by the oil, his finger
- slid in easily, rotating to press downward, bending to widen the
- entrance, allowing his thumb and a second finger to join the first;
- he picked up the end of my chain with his other hand, looping it
- around his wrist, one finger through the D-ring, holding me up before
- him. He probed me with care, gently fucking me and adding more
- lubricant until he felt that I was ready; he withdrew his fingers and
- pressed the head of his penis up against me, forcing a fraction of
- the end in, then pulled out, giving me time to accommodate his
- massive form. I recalled it as it had been a few minutes ago, in my
- mouth; the channel along the underside as thick as my thumb, bulging
- veins snaking out of his pubic hair, wreathing the shaft like vines
- around a Doric column; the flanges of the head sharply defined when I
- forced the foreskin back with my lips. When I'd grabbed the base and
- squeezed, it had swollen until it was as big as my clenched fist, and
- now he was forcing it inside me, one inch at a time.
-
- Each short thrust brought me to the very limit of what I thought I
- could take, and yet he continued, stretching me painfully. I
- imagined my anus distended like my lips had been previously; then he
- began fucking me with longer strokes, adding copious amounts of
- massage oil to ease the way and tugging my head back with the chain.
- I didn't think I was ready, but he grabbed my hip and increased the
- length of his strokes until he forced the entrance and in one burning
- rush, slid the head into me. I gasped with shock and relief, my ass
- contracting over the relatively narrower shaft behind the head.
-
- With one arm under mine he half-lifted me from the mattress until I
- was lying against his body, his thighs bracing me on either side;
- arching my back in ecstacy, I reached behind and felt at least six
- inches of bulging erection still waiting to be inserted, which he did
- with a cruel lack of haste, holding me above him, allowing me down to
- be impaled on his shaft. I felt entirely ineffectual; a toy, my
- right leg dangling to one side as he slowly fucked me, pushing
- further in each time until I felt the huge head of his cock pressing
- against the entrance to my colon and my ass was stretched around the
- base, which felt as wide as a lamp-post. He sat me down in his lap
- and gripped my own erection, holding it still in his massive fist,
- not jerking me, just holding me and giving the occasional squeeze.
-
- I could feel something building, like before, magick potential being
- raised; I wriggled from side to side, aware that it was stimulating
- him, bringing him closer to whatever climax was coming. He held my
- painfully engorged erection in one hand and held the other - chain
- looped around his wrist - flat to my chest, pressing me against him.
- I could feel premonitory twitches in his thighs, his chest pushing
- against my back as his breathing grew deeper, his penis swelling even
- larger (I imagined it forcing the bones of my pelvis apart); then he
- started lifting and dropping me again, in time with his breathing,
- which was growing faster. I tried to squeeze on the down-strokes;
- the twitching in his thighs grew more pronounced, he pushed me up,
- letting go of my erection; I fell forward on my hands and knees and
- suddenly, I found myself wondering: what the hell was I doing? Just
- as quickly, the sheer outrageousness of the situation crystallised
- around me, like a collapsing building falling down over me: I was on
- all fours in an abandoned library, being fucked by a God. My one act
- of arrogance had been in daring to summon Him like a servant; now, I
- was paying the price of that arrogance by serving him without
- question.
-
- He was racing towards climax now, pulling back until the head of his
- erection tugged at my ass, then shoving forward, pressing me into
- the mattress; back and forth, dragging me with him helplessly. The
- strokes slowed with a kind of inevitable fatalism, almost a
- desperate kind of last-ditch attempt to hold on for a few seconds
- more; I imagined that I could feel each vein as it slid into my ass.
- Each time he thrust, his cock pressed up against me inside and my own
- erection shuddered and swelled.
-
- For a brief moment I crouched there with his cock shoved all the way
- inside me, his balls slapping against the back of my thighs; there
- was a momentary silence, then I felt him jerk and spasm within me. He
- threw his head back and - thankfully, he didn't shout; I think it
- would have burst my eardrums - he gave a long, bass moan of ecstacy
- as he came. My own climax was a minor explosion in comparison, a
- building knocked down by the shock-wave he'd generated. I could feel
- pulses of fluid as they coursed up the channel along the underside of
- his shaft, into me; I imagined him pumping me full -
-
- His semen felt warm, then hot, and then it was burning me. Having
- done this before (albeit with humans), I was used to a degree of
- discomfort; but this was entirely different. It was as if he was
- pumping me full of liquid fire, a kind of energy that humankind
- wasn't designed to accept; yet with his firm hold on my collar I had
- no choice but kneel before him and accept it, coursing into my body,
- seeking out every crevice and cranny, flowing through me, suffusing
- me. I imagined beams of light coming out of my eyes, molten metal
- dripping from the end of my own cock.
-
- I was distantly aware of him pulling out of me, a sharp twinge of
- pleasureable pain as his head popped out and hot liquid pouring out
- of my distended ass as I lay there, shaking. He moved around to my
- side and cradled my head in his lap, murmuring words of sympathy in
- that odd-sounding language, my chain still held in his huge hand.
- Despite my overwhelmed state, I still wanted him; my hand reached
- out to touch his still-hard cock, bending it towards my mouth,
- thirsty for more of the energy he'd given me. He kneeled before me
- and allowed me to suck him again, trembling hands massaging his
- magnificent tool, feeling the energy coiling within, feeling it grow
- almost too hot to touch; the head swelling to the point where it was
- trapped behind my teeth and pushing hard against the roof of my
- mouth. This time he helped me, grasping the base and forcing more
- blood into it, my relatively small hands tugging and squeezing next
- to his, but it wasn't until I dared reach down, encircle his scrotum
- with thumb and forefinger and tug down hard that he came again, the
- torrent of blinding white energy filling my mouth. I hung on
- desperately, drinking the hot fluid as it came, sucking hard until he
- was drained and my chest and throat were a glass-thin crucible filled
- with the God's love and light. Just before I collapsed, I felt him
- let go of my chain.
-
- After a few minutes, I felt that I could move again, my body shaking,
- my arms unable to support my weight. I rolled onto my side and
- gazing up at his contented expression, a deity who had been
- worshipped as he wanted. He stroked my face again, bent down to kiss
- me and I lost consciousness, fading into a deliciously warm darkness
- with a soft glow within and the worn-out feeling of having been well
- and truly fucked. My last coherent thought before I sank into sleep
- was, `What DO people see in Christianity?'
-
-
-
-
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