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- |---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
- | |
- | There Ain't No Justice |
- | |
- | #107 |
- | |
- |---------------------------------------------------------------------------|
-
- - Pop -
- by Ironhorse
-
-
- I have to admit Janet always was a little bit strange. That's why when she
- came into the Taco Bell that long ago day and told me she was hearing
- voices I didn't think anything of it.
-
- It must have been about two months ago now that she met me in that rainy
- Toco Bell. It was November and the tourists that populated our town in the
- summer had long gone home for the winter, leaving me to stare alone at my
- Chicken Soft Toco while I waited for her and the few workers busied
- themselves in the back doing god knows what, I still can't conceive of
- employment at Toco Bell as a challenging occupation.
-
- Just when I was about to dive into the gracious feast before me I saw her
- walk in. She smiled at me and headed straight for the counter. Damn, she must
- be hungry, I thought. Janet hates Toco Bell.
-
- I found myself even more surprised when she came to the table with no
- food, just twelve large sodas.
-
- "Thirsty?"
-
- "No," she said and apologized as some water splashed off her coat as she
- sat down.
-
- "That's okay. What's all the soda for?"
-
- "The lids."
-
- I looked curiously at her.
-
- "Let me explain."
-
- "Please do."
-
- Janet looked around to make sure no one else could hear, which was
- obivious, we were alone, and then told me she had been hearing voices for the
- past two weeks.
-
- "Okay..." I didn't really put anything behind this. As I said, Janet was
- weird. Janet was like many of the women I've dated who, ironically, were
- all into the occult. Oh I'm sorry, the modern term is Wicca.
- Whatever, I didn't care. I'm male, they're female; usually when it comes
- right down to it, that's all that matters.
-
- "No really," Janet said seeing my familiar disbelief.
-
- "This happen because of one of your spells?"
-
- She and her Wiccan friends were always casting some sort of spell it
- seemed. I'm sure the results they received had a lot to do with a certain
- illegal leafy plant.
-
- "No, you son-of-a-bitch, listen!"
-
- Janet never did like the fact that I didn't believe in her hocus-pocus
- mumbo-jumbo.
-
- "How did it happen?"
-
- "Well, you know how I love to pop these stupid little bubbles in the tops
- of take-out soda lids?"
-
- "Yeah, everyone does, but not everyone hears voices."
-
- "Yeah, well, not everyone has been doing it as long as I have."
-
- "You mean to tell me by pushing down one of these," I lent over an pushed
- in one of the buttons on one of her dozen lids, "I'll go insane? Come on, I
- think you've been smoking too much."
-
- "You got to believe me. But it's not insane. They're real voices. Real
- people. I've heard them."
-
- "So have mental patients all over the world. You're telling me these
- freaks are actually sane?"
-
- "If they're freaks because they hear voices, then I'm one of those freaks,
- and yes, I think we are sane."
-
- Oh yes, I've definitely found a winner here. Why didn't I just stay
- with Amy? She only thought she was a vampire. So what if she had a biting
- fetish.
-
- "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I can hear voices. I think the reason
- why people go crazy over hearing these voices is because they're in
- a different language."
-
- "So you have a multi-lingual hallucinations," I asked rather sarcastically.
-
- "Not even! I don't think they're from this world."
-
- Oh yes, now was definitely the time Janet and I should be going our separate
- ways. Still, to humor her...
-
- "Oh, and what world are they from?"
-
- She seemed to know I was humoring her, but it didn't matter, I was finally
- listening.
-
- "I'm not sure, like I said, I can't understand them, but I think it's a
- parallel one."
-
- "Ah... I think I saw this on Star Trek once."
-
- "I'm serious damn it!" At this point she began to furiously punch in
- all the buttons in her many drink lids.
-
- "Okay, okay, calm down. Go on, I'm sorry."
-
- She continued, but she also continued to punch in the buttons on the
- drinks.
-
- "Well, I see it this way... The people who hear these voices are actually
- some how attuned to a parallel world, just like this one, with its
- own buildings, people, and everything. The reason why some
- 'freaks', as you call them, hear things and then don't is because we are
- moving and so are they."
-
- "The parallel people? You mean they're walking away from the people who
- can hear them?"
-
- "Maybe. But I was thinking, what if their planet spun in the opposite
- direction of ours? Then those people who could hear the voices would hear
- nothing when, say, our New York was passing over their Atlantic Ocean."
-
- "That is if they have an Atlantic Ocean," I interjected. She did
- seem to think this thing through. Delusions were like that.
-
- "Exactly."
-
- Yes, definitely a space cadet. At least she was pretty to look at. The brain
- dead ones usually are.
-
- "You came up with all this from popping the tops of a few soda lids?"
-
- "Not a few. I figure in the thousands. You know my dad was a truck driver?
- Well, he always took me on the road with him and a large portion of my diet
- was fast food."
-
- "So you say that all the people who pop these little buttons on their
- sodas in fast food joints all over the world are going to sooner or later
- hear the voices of people on another planet that's somehow in a parallel
- dimension to this one?"
-
- "Yes. Actually, I think there's a little more to it than that. You have to
- be open to the possibility."
-
- Oh no, not that again. That is the backbone of every Wiccan's arguments
- to a non-believer. 'You have to be open to the possibility for the magic
- to work.' Bah, magic is magic, it should work whether I believe in it or
- not.
-
- "And I suppose you are open to the possibility? How come no one else has
- heard these voices?"
-
- "They have, there's institutions full of 'em."
-
- "How come no sane people have heard them? Like your Wiccan friends? I
- would suppose they are 'open to the possibility'."
-
- "Well, unfortunately most Wiccans are vegetarians and won't step foot into
- a fast food restaurant..."
-
- "Which is the only place they could get these kinds of lids... I
- understand. Plus I'm sure they couldn't possibly have been exposed to as
- many as you have."
-
- "Yes!"
-
- "And the people in the asylums haven't figured this out because they are
- being 'treated' and told it isn't so, so they lose their openness?"
-
- "Exactly!" She was getting quite happy. She felt I understood. She
- thought I actually believed her. She told me to wait a moment while she
- went up and got twelve more sodas.
-
- "What are you doing," I asked when she returned. "If you're 'tuned in'
- now, aren't you afraid of 'tuning out'?"
-
- "I'm going to prove this to you," she said, popping buttons like, well,
- like a mad man. "It doesn't work like that, it seems the more you pop the
- more in tune you get."
-
- "Oh...." We sat in silence for a while and then I decided I needed a
- break and may as well get some desert. I excused myself and went to the
- counter for a Choco-Toco, shrugging at the questioning stares of the
- employees.
-
- "PMS," I whispered to the manager as I passed and he smiled as I returned
- to my seat.
-
- That was the last moment the doctors tell each other I had in touch with
- reality. I know different, but who's to say? They keep bringing me take out
- soda lids, and I keep popping away.
-
- The papers say Janet was another of the freakish cases of Spontaneous Human
- Combustion, but I know a different story. That night while I was smiling at
- the manager in our lonely Toco Bell, Janet was punching her eighty
- second thousand four hundred ninety third button on the lid of her Mountain
- Dew, and she crossed over.
-
- She's in that parallel world now. I know it. I'm been punching my buttons
- and I know it's true. I've heard the voices, and I've heard her tell me so.
-
- I'm coming Janet, only fifty thousand more buttons to go.
-
- Pop.
-
-
-
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