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- |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
- | |
- | There Ain't No Justice |
- | |
- | #58 |
- | |
- |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
- - "How do you Plead?" -
- -- or --
- - A Phyrric Victory Beats No Victory At All -
- by Tal Meta
-
-
- Wednesday, the 16th. 11 Hours to D-Day.
- ---------------------------------------
-
- I dunno. Maybe I should be scared. Maybe I am, a little. But I'm also
- cocky/arrogant. The evidence is that clear to me. I look at it, several
- times an hour. I go over it in my mind, I've been planning my cross
- examination for three days. I'm settling for general nervousness.
-
- "Will the defendant please rise..."
-
- I look at the stuff the cops gave me when I called for discovery. The
- SprintDerf says I was trying to hack PBXni. He's wrong. If I had been, his
- pretty list of numbers should read like an endlessly repeating prankdial.
- It doesn't. It goes from 9860 to 9861 to 9862. A sequence of ascending
- numbers, never dialling the same number twice.
-
- "I object!"
-
- I know little about legal protocol. I watch the occasional episode of L.A.
- Law, does this make me capable of pulling this off? I hope so. The Sprint
- charges I can destroy, I can make the SprintDerf disprove his own point.
- Can't I? He'll have his $1000 an hour legal eagle from the company pool,
- and I'll have the light of moral certitude shining from within.
-
- "This is all circumstantial evidence..."
-
- The receiving stolen property charge no longer worries me. I know the cop
- who's pressing that charge, its purely a local thing. He hasn't a shred of
- evidence. Nothing. Unless he's holding something back, which will earn me a
- mistrial. And even if he does, if he obtained it AFTER the SprintDerf
- returned my system (did I mention that the VICTIM of my "crimes" took
- possession of my system, to do the analysis? Can you see the conflict of
- interest there too, or do I need new glasses?) I can say that the evidence
- was tainted.
-
- "The police used to watch over the people. Now they're watching the people."
-
- There's a feeling like elation in my heart. I truly believe I can beat
- them, beat them at their own game. Me, some long haired cyberhippie,
- bearding the giants of Law and Order in their most private sanctum. I'm
- even considering changing my future plans, from programming to law. People
- need protection from this sort of persecution. If I win this thing, I'll
- believe I'm the person to do it. But thats a day away, yet. Alot could
- happen.
-
- "I have no further questions for this witness."
-
- I have no witnesses. No evidence of my own. I don't think I need any. The
- incompetence of the cops and of the SprintDerf leaves me trusting that I
- won't need any. I should probably create some. A printout of the file I was
- REALLY making dialing all those numbers. Gotta remember to bring copies of
- FFejScan & CodeThief to court tomorrow, just in case I get a chance to do a
- demonstration. Gotta remember... epiphany...
-
- "You are in contempt!"
-
- I have to remember to be humble tomorrow. To be quiet, and reasonable. So
- tonight, I am loud, and obnoxious. I say all the wild, troublesome things
- that could cost me the opinion of the judge I so desperately need to
- convince. Thats how I handle stress. Before the confrontation, I say all
- the things that would cost me points, loudly, to anyone who will listen.
- Then, when the time has come, I can be calm, and rational.
-
- "Does your heart not hear the call to battle?"
-
- Rational is good. Long ago, when I created "Tal Meta" in my mind, he
- represented the coldly logical side of my being. The side that could stand
- in front of a gymnasium full of people and be spat upon, and take it. That
- happened, once, long ago. Harry Eldridge, I think his name was. Big ass
- wrestling dude. He could've broken me like a twig... and he knew it. And he
- knew I knew it. What he never comprehended was that it didn't matter. I had
- insulted him... over what, I can't remember. He wanted to fight me. I
- didn't care to oblige him. So he spat on me, right there in front of 50
- some odd people, one of whom was a girl I cared for deeply. She understood,
- though. She was a Jehovah's Witness... people spat on her all the time. Two
- months later, after he held me in a death's grip headlock over another
- slight, (which a coach had to come and break before he made me pass out, or
- killed me) I waited for him in a stairwell, and jumped on his ass from the
- second floor. I broke his arm. I didn't even get expelled. I was one of the
- "good kids".
-
- "I stand before you, draped in my sins..."
-
- Thats the key, you see. On one level, I know, that since this is my first
- offense, the system is going to "go easy on me". But thats not what I want.
- I want to win, I want the system to bow before me. I've worked hard at
- becoming a "respectable" member of my community. Nobody really knows what
- I'm up to. If "Fred" insists on pressing his unsupported case tomorrow, I
- plan on destroying him on the stand.
-
- "They agreed with that line from Shakespeare... 'Hang all the Lawyers'..."
-
- "And just when did you become aware that a crime had been committed?" "Was
- that before or after Mr. Aninnos there had the evidence 'analyzed'?" "And
- where is your evidence of that crime today?" "Whats that? You say you've
- misplaced it?" "This is not Traffic Court, Officer Fred. Your word against
- mine is insufficient." "Your Honor, I move for this case to be dismissed
- due to lack of evidence..."
-
- "Nothing has to BE true, but everything has to SOUND true."
-
- SprintDerf is another story. He's going to explain to the court how a PBX
- works. Then he's going to tell us how to compromise one. And then, he's
- going to explain to us how the evidence he's presented supports that
- picture. The beauty of it all is that he can't. Thats my plan, anyway. Alot
- can go wrong between now and then...
-
- Thursday, the 17th, 3 hours PAST D-Day.
- ---------------------------------------
-
- I went to court. I sit waiting... for what, I don't know. I wait as the
- caseload is called out... SprintDerf is nowhere to be seen. They call my
- name. I rise, and enter my plea. "No, your Honor, I'll be defending
- myself." I say. No SprintDerf in appearance. Am I happy, or sad? Shit. The
- Judge is a substitute. He doesn't want to be there, you can hear it in his
- voice. Says he has to be in another town by 3 today. (I wonder if he made
- it?) Every time he speaks he sounds like an auctioneer. Time passes. I
- watch those pleading guilty get their sentences. Fines mostly. One of the
- cops I know comes in... (Fred) The one with a complaint against me. During
- a break, I ask him one last time if he has ANY more evidence concerning my
- charges. He says SprintDerf has it all. I ask him to point out SprintDerf.
- I go ask him for more info. He says the cops have it all. But he's carrying
- this HUGE binder. The Binder has two things written clearly on it. U.S.
- Sprint, and my last name.
-
- "Can you hear me screaming?"
-
- I follow SprintDerf back to Fred. They converse, and tell me they're going
- to talk to the Prosecutor. They vanish for about ten minutes. I stew in my
- chair, wondering whats in that binder. I get called into the little room at
- the back. The Prosecutor offers me a deal. He says that he's got enough
- evidence to bury me. He shows me some. He might even be right. I complain
- that SprintDerf's binder is about eight times the size of all the data I've
- been allowed to see thus far. The Prosecutor wants to cut this deal though.
- If I take his deal, he'll drop the receiving stolen property charge, if I
- plead guilty to the other two. Says he'll push for minimum fines, and no
- restitution. If I DON'T take his deal, and ask for another adjournment to
- study the evidence, he'll press for maximum fines, jail time, and
- restitution. I ponder the odds. I ask about my equipment, and begin to form
- my counter-offer. The Prosecutor has no clue, so he calls back in Fred &
- SprintDerf.
-
- "Stay Alert. Trust No One. And Keep Your Laser Handy!"
-
- Seems my "buddy" Barney has put in a motion for me to forfeit ALL of my
- seized equipment. I'm not amendable to that, so Barney gets called in.
- While we wait for Barney, we chat about world events. Somalia, and such.
- SprintDerf has a brain in his head. He's the epitome of evil in my world
- right now, but I still can respect that. Barney arrives. The look I gave
- him would have melted steel, but he seems oblivious. We "discuss" who gets
- what. Barney wants my laptops. (I guess his grandkids will be happy this
- Christmas...) He also wants my IBM. I want my Commodore system back. I want
- to trade him the cheesy word processor for a laptop, but no go. In the end,
- we all agree that I get my Commie system back (worth twice what the IBM was
- worth in today's market) and I get the mouse card out of the IBM setup. I
- get copies of all the software on the IBM. I get all the other software
- too. And my VCR, the phones, etc.. Oh Joy.
-
- "Sometimes, in order to win, you have to lose a little..."
-
- I'm still stewing. I'm NOT guilty of what they want me to plead guilty too.
- It sticks in my pride like a white hot knife to plead otherwise. But it
- will get my equipment back. It will end this charade. It will give me my
- life back, to do with as I would. So I agree to this devil's bargain, and
- we go out to face the court again.
-
- "Do you think you could twist the knife in my back a little to the right?"
-
- I sit there, as another case is heard, and I want to scream. I would really
- like to hurt someone. Preferably SprintDerf. I watch them, Fred, Barney, &
- SprintDerf, all chummy on the other side of the room. The Judge calls my
- case again. I rise, and walk towards the bench, wishing I had a weapon. I
- stand there, mute, as the Prosecutor explains the deal to the Judge. He
- asks me if thats what I want. I say that I do, but anyone with an ounce of
- empathy would have known I was lying. I'm forcing myself not to snarl, like
- some caged animal who's been tormented by people he can't reach, and can
- only huddle in one corner and snap at them.
-
- "Jesus wept. I prefer firing on full auto."
-
- The Judge reads the charges, and unique as they are to these small town
- courts, he has to look up the penalties. He gets sidetracked for a moment
- by some obtuse ruling involving theft of electrical service, that carries a
- minimum $500 fine. I'm groaning inside, trying to visulaize myself paying
- off a $1000+ fine. The Prosecutor & SprintDerf look at one another, and
- silently agree that this shouldn't be considered under those rules. The
- Judge, who still wants to get out of here soonest, reads off the fines
- almost too fast for me to add them up in my head. In a mere twinkling, its
- over.
-
- "Not with a bang, but with a whimper..."
-
- I go downstairs, and fill out a check. $400 isn't too unbearable. But I'm
- wishing this had made it to a probable cause hearing at the County Level.
- It all might have gone away there. But I suppose I can live with it. I
- guess I'll have to now. A career in law looks very appealing to me now. A
- chance to strike back. A chance to make a difference. But I probably won't
- do it. Ask me six months from now, and maybe I'll have a different outlook.
-
- Maybe not.
-
- This is HOPEFULLY the last "Legal TANJ" I'll ever write. There may be more
- written by others, but I'm planning on covering my tracks well enough never
- to be in a courtroom again.
-
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