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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- joy
- ---
-
- a slick sly motherfucker looks me up and down, says
- 'hey baby, lookin good' and i feel like a ham on a
- hook in Joe Schmoe's butcher shop. his leer yawns
- like a chasm, and disgust twists in the pit of my
- gut. whip me, hurt me, make me bleed. that's all i
- am good for. i look down at my scuffed black boots,
- the hole in the knee of my leggings, the worn flannel,
- (hey baby, looking homeless) and wonder how far i have
- to go to look unlovable and totally leavable.
-
- i type inanely (make install) and crawl around on the
- floor (which patch panel does this fucking thing
- plug into?) and growl at the insane howl of my pager
- (BOGUS! Build failed!). do this, do that, can i
- lick your boots mister, and would you like that in
- perl or /bin/sh? i picture pools of blood forming
- in the cracks between the keys of my keyboard.
-
- i think i am having a nervous breakdown.
-
- (where is your entourage?) she asked me while she
- poured my grande' non-fat latte. yeah, my fucking
- entourage, only she doesn't know that i have
- two of them. i glance over my shoulder and there
- is no one there, but i can feel them piled up
- on my back like a demon orgy out of a Stephen
- King novel. (they are on vacation) and i smile
- and sip my latte, but a tear gathers in the
- corner of my eye.
-
- dark grey days are my style. a day like today
- makes me feel like my soul is in tune with the
- weather, and i want to thank god for noticing
- me. (please sir, can i have some more?)
-
- i am having a nervous breakdown.
-
- having a nervous breakdown #!/bin/sh patch panel
- annexes coffee bills too much too soon too young
- glowing angel want to go to him please sir can
- i have some more and while you are at it can you
- make more feel more worthless cause i think i
- slipped and had self esteem for a second there
- and i want to sleep for days in a cool room
- break shit while people who do not love me
- point and laugh the world is spinning and dear
- god how i love this shit
-
- yeah. a nervous breakdown.
-
- demonika
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