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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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- The Right, the CDA, and Wire-Mother Parenting
- ---------------------------------------------
-
- Well, congrats to free speech and the mighty 1st. The Communications
- Decency Act (CDA) is deader than Julius Caesar for now (although these
- almost mythological monsters have ways of sprouting seemingly endless new
- ugly heads), and once again most of the world is safe to continue to
- network, communicate, and in time, integrate. Everything from info on
- self-breast exams to Hunter S. Thompson can be freely distributed, and free
- from reprisal. Again: Hooray.
-
- I may not sound as enthusiastic about the victory as I am because my intent
- is not to write the victory-dance for this achievement. Instead, it's what
- I read while reading an article about this victory that caught my (ire)
- eye. Dee Jepsen, president of "Enough is Enough" (file under Christian
- Coalition, et al, if you're looking for the philosophy of this org), had
- this to say in the July 7 issue of "Web Week":
-
- "Right now, the entire burden of protecting our nation's children has been
- placed solely on the shoulders of parents."
-
- What the HELL is going on here?!? "Boo, hoo! You mean "I" have to watch
- out for my children's well-being? No! Make a law! Make it better! You
- need to make the world safe for right-minded, clean-cut, wonder-bread
- baking suburbanites for me!"
-
- Are these NOT the groups, in addition to their "everything outside the
- bible is printed at satan's publishing house" attitude, that mass-produce
- guilt up the wazoo about "family togetherness"? Are these NOT the folks
- that make every effort to make sure that every child conceived is brought
- into the world, and that they raised in the family unit?
-
- Don't get me wrong here, I don't agree with things such as kiddie-porn,
- pedophiles staking children in chat rooms, and the amount of wasted
- bandwidth that all other forms of adult entertainment constitute. I also
- don't agree that kids should be checking out gay-bestiality-snuff .mpegs or
- whatever in "Into to Basic" class in the 5th grade either. Personally,
- given the choice, I'd like to see a world that would make less of cynic of
- me when I think of producing offspring at some point. Since I'm not going
- to go on a 1st Amendment coon-hunt in order to make the world a bit more
- Disney, then I'm stuck with the only line of defense I have in order to
- make a child turn out a notch less twisted that I am in this bitter-sweet
- world:
-
- Spend time with my kids.
-
- Tell me if this sounds right to you: I have kids. I get the "All Rimjob
- Channel" from my cable provider. I let my kids watch whatever tv they want
- when I'm not around. Now, does this sound like a bunch of kids that will
- grow up knowing every conceivable angle and position in which oral can be
- applied to an anal orifice? I'm pretty sure if my kids turned out to be
- ass-worshipping rimjobbers working as jiz-jockeys in an all night
- peep-booth in Times Square (and, in a perfect world, proctologists), I
- REALLY couldn't get to far claiming the government failed to meet it's duty
- in hand-holding me through the parental experience.
-
- I'm not much in the way of a government-basher on the whole, but there are
- certain things I think the government can stay out of. When it comes to
- child-rearing, short of a few brochures by the Ad Council, I don't want the
- government anywhere NEAR the upbringing of my children.
-
- So, getting back to Ms. Jepsen's statement, what were they expecting? Not
- only do I think the idea of the "burden of protecting our nation's
- children" should be "placed solely on the shoulders of parents", I never
- even CONSIDERED it otherwise until I read this tripe. While I do want
- Uncle Sam to make an effort to keep dealers away from the elementary school
- and making some effort to educate about STDs, it is still my job to educate
- them about drugs and sex. What am I supposed to expect? For the
- government to pre-read magazines and books for content? To make sure every
- show on broadcast tv is fit for even the most prudish of Amish viewers? I
- got two #!*@ words for you: N and O.
-
- Although the V-Chip raises a few hackles on the neck of
- censorship-concerns, it at least has the ends-to-a-means of what I'm
- talking about. If I want to keep the Playboy or Spice channel away from my
- 7 year-old, then I at least welcome the ability to program it out of my tv
- selection. In a world where fiscal demands typically prevent both parents
- from monitoring viewing habits, some degree of "programmable parent" is a
- necessary evil. This extends to the 'net as well. If I want to keep
- Capone Jr. out of the "alt.donkeysex" newsgroup when I'm on the commute
- home, then there is software that will aid me to that end as well.
-
- Still, there is an even better, much older, and time-proven mechanism to
- prevent this as well: Do stuff WITH your kids. As I said, this isn't as
- possible as it used to be, but when there is time, time should be made.
- Not only will you be able keep gang-banging bar-rape scenes on late-night
- Showtime away from your kids, you can also explain what "questionable"
- material you do happen to view.
-
- I don't care if you watch nothing but Sesame Street with your kids. When I
- was watching it as a tot, a beloved character named Mr. Hooper (time-warp
- time for the X'ers here) up and dropped dead. No matter HOW MANY chips
- and ratings you install, REAL LIFE things are going to happen that NEED a
- parent around to discuss. Life, death, sex, and violence happens outside
- the 'tube, and you might as well belly-up and add a moral, realistic, and
- involved spin to it while you still can.
-
- In the same disturbing trend as the CDA, the next form of legislation looks
- as if will be geared towards FORCING the ISPs and online providers to
- provide 'net-screening software such as SurfWatch. This is just another
- form of lazy-parent lawmaking. As the V-Chip should be no surrogate for
- parenting, neither should software. Even more importantly, my ISP should
- NOT be goose-stepped into being Mom&Dad either. Only a
- ill-prepared-for-parenthood moron would rally behind the idea that
- tech-support should be parent-support as well. If my kids want to go
- online, I should do it with them. Not to be a "big brother" for content,
- but to explain what they see. Unless I want my kids to be so sheltered and
- pink-skinned when they go out into the real world as adults, I need to HELP
- expose them to the seedier-side of society - and I better damn well make
- sure I am there with them to make sure they know right-from-wrong in the
- process.
-
- You can cast a plastic-bubble of censorship around all forms of media in
- your house for all of the good it will do. They will see it at friends^╥
- houses, on the playground, or snickering in the dark of a basement next a
- duffel bag of someone's dad's collection of Penthouses for 1974. If you
- shut out this kind of material, and allow kids to discover it from their
- peers, then in turn their peers become more of a parental influence than
- you will EVER be.
-
- So, to not only make my point, but to take advantage of the failure of the
- CDA, let me say this:
-
- Fuck you, Ms. Jepsen.
-
- If your kids should read this, YOU should be there to explain this is a bad
- word - not the Christian Coalition, not my ISP admin, and not Congress.
- You should EXEPECT that at some point in their lives they will come in
- contact with that word, and YOU should explain that it is an obscenity. If
- you're worried about the "burden" being on you to raise your kids, pass
- them off to the orphanage now, 'cause it ain't going to get any easier.
-
- So, to the entire conservative and/or right, why not spend a few less hours
- drafting up legislation, and a few more of those with your kids.
- Personally, I plan on using every spare MINUTE being more of a Dad that
- you, the CDA, and the entire US Government could ever hope to be.
-
- - capone
-
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