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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- The Waiting
- -----------
-
- I feel very alone. All around me is darkness, but not in
- the heart or the soul, for in those places, she exists. She is
- with me now, maybe not physically, but I can feel her presence.
- Right now, thoughts of her plague my head. I cannot rid myself of
- my visions of her, I fear that I might love her.
-
- But how can I love someone I've never met face to face?
- How can I love someone who I'm not always there for, who I don't
- have all the answers to give to? I don't know. I just know that
- right now I miss her so bad that my stomach is turned in knots,
- and that I feel that I need to speak with her now. Right now.
-
- The waiting for the time in which I can speak to her
- again just is not fair. These days I may not be so happy, I
- still feel sad when I'm all alone. I hate her father. That
- asshole forced her off of the phone, for no reason. Oh, he has
- important business. Fuck business.
-
- I don't know what's wrong with me. I normally don't
- care about people that much. But right in this very instant,
- my mind is so caught up in her that I can't even think straight.
- I really just want to be with her, but I know it is not possible.
- Some say love is expressed in unattachment, I think they are a
- bunch of liars. I'm too attached.
-
- I wonder what she is doing right now. I can imagine
- that she is sleeping soundly in her room, even as the glow
- of my monitor is cast over my face. My thoughts wander off
- to why I can't be with her, and why the world isn't so small
- when you love someone. Life isn't fair, it never is. Not
- in matters of wanting, of needing someone, who just is so
- far away. Maybe I just have to let go.
-
- I'm sick of waiting. Very fucking sick. I should've
- told her I love her. Maybe I'll never get the chance to again.
- Who knows, the world is so messed up. Right now, I don't know
- if I can make it through tonight without her. Right now, I
- feel worthless. Right now, I want her by me. Right now, I
- want to tell her I love her. Right now, I'm so gone.
-
- -DropComm
-
- : dedicated to Rach in Maine.
-
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