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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- Lost and Found
- --------------
-
- I sit here alone on the balcony of a not unfamiliar apartment but
- one I have been accustomed to for less then the length of time it has taken
- me to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes (yes I was trying to quit at the
- time but you get my point). As I listen to the cars passing by and the
- omnipresent breeze carrying its song, and its winged passengers to wherever
- it is that birds go at this time of the year I am reminded, reminded of my
- constant displacement no matter the environment (quite the contrary to my
- apparent complacency to be any given place at any given time). This has been
- an ongoing battle in my head since I was about sixteen years of age, forced
- to face the world alone as a young man, a boy. Given the total lack of
- stability I had at the beginning of this long tiring journey of mine my
- total lack of stability at present doesn't bother me as one would expect, or
- does it?
-
- I've moved from the balcony into the computer room to continue
- this rant not because I don't like the outdoors, but because I find
- that I can type much faster and more legible than I can write these days.
- Another casualty of technology I guess.
-
- This trek I have unknowingly embarked upon has taken me to over
- twelve states in this country and several brief visits to a corrupted
- land far south of where I am now. In all these places I have heard the
- passing cars I hear now, and the same breeze blows whether it be from the
- north, south, east, or west. I guess what I'm really trying to say is
- that no matter where you go you never really leave where you were. The
- same instability is there, the same people are there with only faces that
- change. Sure no two people are alike but no two people are really that
- different either, there are good people, there are bad people, there are
- people you really wouldn't bother pissing on if they were on fire. Most
- importantly of all you are there, the same person you have always been.
- Maybe you have changed some things about yourself but you cannot escape
- from your true self. I don't know if this is what I was trying to do but I
- know now its of no use.
-
- In looking at my present surroundings I think I have found a
- location I would like to stay at for a while. The opportunity is here,
- there are people I like to be around here, even the view in certain
- places is quite majestic. Granted it does get rather cold at times but
- hey, you cant have everything. I know it will take some time for me to
- settle into a place of my own but I think its time for me to stop moving.
- I have heard my constant movement about the country referred to as "running"
- and "hiding", but I think of it more as living, and learning. I have
- learned a great many things from a great many people, much of which would
- be considered trivial to most people because they take the world in which
- they live in for granted. I have laid my head on concrete and I have laid
- my head on the pillows of thousand dollar a night hotels. Its still my
- head.
-
-
- zens
-
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