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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- InnerReflectiveThoughts at 4:30 am on October 6, 1996
- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-
- [Pick Me Pick Me, Yeah!]
-
- I wish I had never been born. I've fucked up since my childhood, always
- making the wrong decisions, always siding with the wrong element at the
- time. I'm never the best at anything I do. I'm a Jack of All Trades, a
- Master of None.
- I dropped out of high school at age 16. Would have sooner, but had to be 16.
- Got my drivers permit two days after being 16, one day after dropping out.
- Took me two years to get my license. I still don't own a car. I dropped
- out of college when I started using drugs too much.
-
- [He never sleeps cause he's got bad luck]
-
- I've thrashed my brain almost to the point of stupidity on drugs. I've done
- a few here, a few others there. I am the eternal statistic.
- I work at a shitty job. I have no future there, but lack the courage and the
- schooling to go anywhere else. I get no respect from the public whom I serve
- fat-ladden food to everyday. I just got fired from a hotel for calling in
- sick. I hate capitalism.
-
- [I just want you to know that I don't hate you anymore]
-
- Its not my fault, or something. Its all because I was super-intelligent as
- a child and was constantly misunderstood. I had few friends because they
- were all intellectually inferior, or something. No one older than me accepted
- me because it was de clase. Adults didn't listen to me because I was too
- young to know anything. No one listened to me because they couldn't follow,
- or something. Hey, its not my fault, don't you know? I can blame all this
- on someone else I'm sure.
-
- [you're not much]
-
- I hate everyone. I'm not racist, but everyone not like me can go to hell.
- I'm not sexist but women suck, or they don't, which makes them worse. I'm
- not alternative, but every 'normal' person should get a clue. Yeah, you and
- everyone else can just fuck off. Get off my case, get off my back, go away,
- you know the routine.
-
- [gun gun shoot my gun]
-
- I wish death had claimed me when it had the chance. I complained for hours
- about a tummy ache. If my mother had ignored me for a few more hours, just
- another day, maybe my appendix would have ruptured and I would have been
- spared adolescence. That would have been nice. What was the point in keeping
- me around anyhow?
-
- [Now I'm all alone]
-
- Chemical depression. Yeah, its cliche, its my life. Fuck you, you haven't
- been down here with me. You haven't felt the anger and the angst turn inward,
- had it gnaw at your innards like a ravenous beast. Felt the urges and
- compulsion when it tears free. You can't know what its like hating everything
- but saving the vehemence for yourself. You don't see the world in its dark
- shades of grey. You don't see the eternal decay of humanity and the sinister
- pain that rules life as we know it. You can't see it. You ... Chemical
- depression. Its all in my head, you can make it go away. Prescribe my
- salvation. Come one, give me the happy pill.
-
- [Self appointed judges judge]
-
- Chemical dependency. Prozac, cocaine, I don't see the difference. They both
- make me high. Life sucks, but hey I'm feeling great right now. Take on the
- world, when it beats you down, just try again! Try, try again. Try, try,
- and fail with glee!
-
- [Forever in debt to your priceless advice]
-
- Take charge! Take command! Stop wallowing in self pity. Yeah, if I pitied
- myself I wouldn't step out the door each day. I don't whine or complain, I'm
- just becoming aware of my feelings and getting in touch with my inner self.
- By the way, he says to fuck off as well.
-
- [Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath]
-
- Oh so ultra-sensitive. Each little word is like a razor as it slices deeply
- along each vein. Each look becomes the festering infection that rots my
- flesh away. Yeah, you didn't hurt my feelings, just my pride. I didn't have
- much to begin with, now I have to nurse the weaklings wounds. Yeah, it
- hurts, but its not like you cared to begin with.
-
- [I'm not the only one - Hate me - Do it again and again]
-
- Shove through me to get to your ever important meeting you corporate shit.
- Cut in line in front of me, at my bank, cause you are black and I oppressed
- you for four-hundred years you fucking asshole. Holler at me cause your food
- wasn't perfect, cocksucker. Keep a close eye one me, fuckhead, I may steal
- something because I'm young and dress grungy. Laugh at me because I don't
- follow your ever important fashion trends you gutless yuppie spawn. Hound me
- for my change, because you are 'older than my mamma' and I am 'your brother',
- after all, its only 50 cents right, you worthless trash, and I owe it to you,
- right?
-
- [Steal the laughter that's inside of me]
-
- I wish I was never born. The world confuses me. Everything seems to
- contradict itself. School made no sense, and the only concept I couldn't
- grasp was how to spell. Piece of shit losers slowed the whole learning
- process for me, and I got sick of waiting for the dumbass in class to catch
- up. I learned more ditching class to go to the library for five hours than
- any of my classmates. I dropped out of high school with more knowledge than
- most graduates. I learned more on the streets than church taught me. I
- found the love of god pouring out of the masses. I found salvation in the
- little tabs of acid with the crosses on them. I, ah, fuck you, you prolly
- couldn't understand anyway.
-
- - anarchy X -
-
- [BTW, if i offended you by telling you to 'fuck off', or by calling someone
- like you, or someone you know, a 'cocksucker' or 'asshole', I'd like you to
- know I'm not really all that sorry. Thanx to nirvana for the intermissions
- between thoughts, but fuck you kurt, cause you're dead.]
-
-
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