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- = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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-
- Regret
- ~~~~~~
-
- So there you are, pouring your heart out. Telling her you care about her more
- than anything, that you've loved her for the past two years, and that you
- don't want to destroy a friendship of four years because of this revelation.
-
- And she says she wants to stay friends, because that's what you are to her,
- a good friend. And you call her up to hear her voice, feel her presence,
- knowing that she can comfort you, but you hear the way her voice dips from
- its initial bouncy "hello?" to the "oh, hi" when she hears you on the other
- end. She tries to make conversation, but you feel so miserable that you can't
- form a coherent thought, and you forget what you had to say, and you realize
- that there's nothing more to say anyway, and you hang up.
-
- You remember the times when you would call her up and she would keep you
- talking for two hours.
-
- You remember the first time you revealed your feelings to someone. It took
- you three years to get over her that time. But you aren't, really, the
- feelings have just been tamped down, crushed into the background with the
- rest of your old baggage, and you wonder how long it will be this time before
- you can get your emotions locked away again, safe from prying eyes.
-
- You tell yourself that it will never happen again, that nothing in the world
- is worth this much hell, but you're wrong. It will happen again. And again.
- And again. And you know that you have managed to destroy a friendship built
- on trust and mutual respect, because she had no idea of your feelings. You
- hid them too well, and she doesn't trust you any more, because when you hid
- them, you were lying to her. She doesn't trust you any more. She thinks you
- tried to move in on her because she just broke up with her fiancee.
-
- And she doesn't trust you any more.
-
- You regret the way things always seem to turn out, and you wonder:
-
- Where did all the years go?
-
- -Legion
-
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