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- Legions of Lucifer ('léjen ov lûcifèr) n. 1. Any multitude of followers
- of the chief evil spirit, Satan. 2. A group of Anarchists and Computer
- Experts that work together as one to cause havok in the anarchy bound
- society of this nation.
-
-
- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-
- A Cheap Lil' Guide to 'Professional' Housebombing / Homewrecking
-
- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-
- Ed note: When does the madness end! Haha! I have been contemplating
- the creation of this file for QUITE some time now, but have FINALLY got
- around to doing it. I want to dedicate [hah!] this file to the
- managers/head cashiers at Farmer Jack store #39 in Roseville, Michigan
- who made my life such hell, they pushed me to this brink of insanity...
-
- First off, you have to have a mark. Ours was easy. Myself and four
- close friends were screwed by management at this damn cheapass grocery
- store when we were still wet behind the ears, we followed them and
- tracked them ALL down, except for one. I will write a file in the near
- future on tailing and evasive driving, as we learned a lot of techni-
- que from this adventure.
-
- Anyways, enough of the boredom, let's talk turkey... First you have to
- choose a mark, be it a manager, arch enemy, neighborhood stool pigeon,
- loser modemer, whatnot. This person has pushed you PAST the brink of
- insanity, and you will stop at NOTHING to wreck their lives... Here are
- some tried and true techniques, that you may want to consider...
-
-
- EGG BOMBING
-
- Initially, go to a party store or grocery store and pick up a dozen
- eggs. Or any amount. We have ripped through 4 dozen EASILY in an hour
- before, so.. I recommend buying Jumbos. They cost more, but they
- 'pack a bigger punch' and cause picture windows to shimmy upon impact.
- Also, for the economist, most Meijer grocery stores sell an 18 pack,
- that we find quite useful. If you REALLY have it out for the mark,
- you may either hardboil them, as this will do WONDERS for windows!
- Hah! Or else, you MAY consider putting them in a bucket in your
- backyard, and let them sit there for about 4 days of good hot sun, will
- will cause them to spoil and emit a raunchy odor. Remember, maybe the
- mark may need his smelling tested...
-
- First off, casually drive by a few times, make mental notes, and get
- ready. We suggest looking for things such as open windows in the front
- of the mark's house, lights, neighbor's activity, cars etc. At one
- job, I doused the lights and me and a buddy hopped out, and a guy
- down the block flashed his headlights at us and saw us wearing ski
- masks, and saw us turn the block with a cardboard plate, and proceeded
- to chase us for about 2 miles, until I lost him on a local freeway.
- Another time, I caught a guy fucking his girlfriend 200 feet away from
- our prospective job, so I merely gave him the brights, honked and gave
- him the 'thumbs up'.
-
- We suggest either a 4 door car, or a van. Then pull around the
- block, get the ammo [eggs] opened up, and easily accessible. Egg
- cartons usually are styrofoam, or cardboard and can be torn, so each
- man gets a section bearing 3-4 henfruits. Have one accomplice get out
- of the vehicle and either place a fast food paper bag over the license
- plate, or as we prefer, have a precut piece of cardboard to :
- , which are the dimensions of North American license plates. [ Note:
- does not include motorcycle plates which are smaller, duh!] Use duct
- tape to securely fasten the cardboard to the plate framework. Then
- proceed to take a piece of cardboard, approximatley 5" x 5" and place
- it over the dome light. [This is ESSENTIAL. One night we were almost
- caught by a manager, except I was in the back of my friend's Escort
- with my hands over the dome light so he couldn't identify us. Then
- tape the dome light cover in place, prefererably with duct tape.
- Then, have each man don a ski mask, black preferrably [our trademark],
- and drive back around the block. When you get approximately 200 feet
- from the mark's residence, turn off the headlights, and pull the car
- up near the curb, but leave about 4-5 feet of leeway on the side
- closest to the mark's house for maneuverability.
-
- The next option, is who does the work. You have a couple options.
- First, suppose you are in a car. Cars are easy to get in and out of,
- so you may want to have the driver, and two men on the passenger side
- [front + back] get out. The optional driver getting out, should only
- be done when the mark's street is dark, easy to get out of the
- subdivision very quickly etc. In that case, have the driver out the
- car in neutral, and ease it to a stop so that it is only 1 gear shift
- to getaway, instead of 3. Also, this assumes a flat terrain. This
- DEFINITELY does not apply in San Francisco, where you will helplessly
- look back to see your getaway vehicle coasting down the street in
- reverse.
-
- The other main vehicle we have used is a van. This is VERY useful,
- as you can have 4 men get out VERY fast. Have a guy ride shotgun and
- get out, have 2 guys get out of the sliding door on the side, and have
- one man hop out of the back door.
-
- For best results, you may wish to 'lob' the eggs, rather than give
- them a Nolan Ryan fastball. The physics of eggs causes them to
- explode over a larger region this way.
-
- Get all of the bombers close to the house, and madly throw eggs. We
- usually had SPECIFIC targets. E.g., one man would bomb the car in the
- driveway, while another hit a picture window, while another would go for
- doors, garage, etc. In any case, the driver should NOT launch more than
- three eggs, as he has to go get in, and get it in gear, and peel away.
-
- I suggest house bombing in the winter, when the eggs will freeze and
- people will be less reluctant to go outside in the cold to remove them.
- One bitch's house wore our 'treat' for about 2 months... Also, in the
- summer, cars are prime, as the albumin in the egg does WONDERS for a
- paint job.
-
-
- BOLOGNA TRICK
-
- This is more of a kid's prank, but I have included it, because it can
- and WILL wreck a car's paint job. Basically, all you do, is go to the
- neighborhood butcher and buy the slimiest, greasiest bologna, olive
- loaf, etc. The go to the mark's house/work and place it on his vehicle.
- This has to be done in the summer and on a hot day. The acids in the
- meat will cook out, and literally fry on his car. The result is, after
- a few hours, a permanent circle remains on the victim's hood, in a
- lighter shade. So for example, if he has a red car, he may have pink
- circles... Basically, it makes the vehicle look like hell, and will
- force him to either pay for another paint job, or look like an ass.
-
-
- MAILBOX HYJINX
-
- A mailbox is a sitting duck. I have hated mail boxes for years, due to
- increasing postage, which I protest against. Letters should cost 10
- cents to mail if the bureaucracy didn't embezzle, screw things up, etc.
- So anyways, first determine the location of the target. In prime
- residential areas, residents usually have mailboxes at the house, and
- in more rural areas at the curb. If it is at the curb, you can play
- a fun sport we call 'Mailbox Baseball' by driving by and having the
- passenger of your car take a whack at the thing with a bat. It can
- dent the thing, and rile the mark...
-
- Another idea is to seal the bastard shut. This will work with ALL
- mailboxes. Merely whip up a batch of mortar or cement and leave it
- wet [premade]. Drive to the mark's house and FILL his mailbox. His
- mail carrier will be shocked, and thus the mark will have to shell
- out about another $30 for a new mailbox.
-
- One of the BEST fear tactics is to make a 'bomb'. Most marks are
- dummies and can't tell a real bomb from an obvious fake. So here is
- how to construct your 'explosive':
-
- Materials:
- 3-4 road flares
- 1 Baby Ben alarm clock
- 1 small roll of electrician's tape
- 6-7 assorted colored wires
- 1 pair of scissors
-
- Construction:
- Piece the road flares together and hide, or tape parts
- that identify what it is. Cut a piece of electrical tape
- and tape the flares together. Then tape the alarm clock
- to the flares. Then tape the wires leading from the alarm
- clock region, to the flares. Result... Fake bomb.
-
- Then merely place it inside of the mark's mailbox, and upon discovering
- I can ALMOST 100% guarantee that the discoverer, either the postman, or
- the resident, will IMMEDIATELY notify the local police department, who
- will proceed to bring fire trucks, evacuate close residents, bring in
- bomb sniffing dogs, or the bomb squad to detonate the thing. The result
- is that you have caused the mark a lot of embarressment, including'
- media coverage, neighbor's getting pissed etc. WARNING : The bomb
- squad guys are by **NO MEANS** 'dumb' and will probably spot the fake
- and dust it for fingerprints, so you will want to wear gloves at ALL
- times when handling its components. Note: If you are a real cruel and
- sick individual, you might as well use a real bomb...
-
- Another anarchical idea is to make a pipebomb, there are many fine
- files, and many good books such as the 'Black Books', 'The Anarchist's
- Cookbook', or 'Kitchen Improvised Plastic Explosives' that will give
- good recipes for contructing pipe bombs. Upon detonation, it will
- cause the mailbox to blow apart in ALL directions, hurling shrapnel
- everywhere, so if there are small children in the area, PLEASE do this
- at night, as only the mark deserves to suffer your reign of terror...
-
-
- THE LAWN
-
- Many marks happen to take avid pride in their lawn and garden,
- especially if they live in some ritzy area. Therefore, it would be a
- warm feeling for them to see this desecrated during the night hours.
- There are a few tried and true methods to do. Some range from childish,
- to devious, to downright bastardly!
-
- The old tried and true method is the lawn job. Every teenager with a
- car has done a few of these to the neighborhood bitch, or the guy who
- stole your girlfriend. Basically all you do is drive on the lawn at a
- good speed in low gear and peel out, causing grass to fly about. The
- downfall to this is it causes a lot of noise, but maybe the mark needed
- to wakeup anyways...
-
- Another oldie is to bleach the damn thing to death. The common method
- is to take a gallon jug of bleach, and pour it on the lawn. This will
- biologically kill the chlorophyll cells in the greenery, and turn it
- to albino. So soon their grass will turn white and die. [This works
- nicely also with flowers, plants, and trees!] A nice 'touch', is to
- either write an inspiring note in bleach, such as "PAYBACKS ARE HELL",
- "FUCK THE WORLD, ANARCHY RULES", or "HELLO MR(s). x". Some anarchists
- prefer to use a calling card, similar to a cattle mark. My personal
- favorite is the good old anarchy symbol : the capital A inscribed in
- a circle.
-
- A more deviant method to the aforementioned, would be to play with the
- mark's sprinkler system, and hook up a bottle of bleach to it at night
- [you will want to be wearing a swimsuit for this one...]. Hook the
- gallon jug into the hose setup with the top of an Ortho spray bottle,
- with a LONG siphon tube going down to within 1" of the bottom of the
- bleach jug. This apparatus will run all night bleaching the whole damn
- lawn, and he will either be forced to resod, or be the owner of the
- community eyesore and be ostracized by the neighbors... WARNING: Bleach
- will whiten ANYTHING [good for the mark's vehicles as well..], but also
- may ruin YOUR attire, so wear beat up blue jeans, junk tennis shoes,
- and an old shirt when pulling this caper. Also avoid contact with the
- skin as it will whiten your skin and cause part of the epidermis to
- die and peel off...
-
- Another goodie, that can be accomplished for less that $2-3, is to
- buy some bottles of finishing nails, or tacks from the local hardware
- store and happily scatter then throughout the mark's lawn. This will
- cause much pain if the mark, his children, or his pets happen to
- encounter them. This may also do wonders for his lawnmower...
-
- Many people annually use fertilizer to cause a more green and
- asthethically appetizingly beautiful lawn. I do not have any direct
- figures, but I am sure tons of nitric fertilizer are sold annually.
- The key to this is that after all, nitric components BURN. Everyone
- has heard of nitric acid, nitroglycerine, and TNT
- [2,4,6-trinitrotoluene]. Nitrogen is the key component of all of these,
- as well as nitric fertilizer which will add nitrogen to the soil to
- replenish nitrogen loss. Get a nice quantity, and sprinkle it all
- over his lawn, thicker the better. If the mark does not water this
- often enough, excess fertilizer will literally fry his lawn and the
- grass will die... And if you have some fertilizer left over, there
- are many fine recipes available for kitchen improvised fertilizer
- explosives.
-
-
- VEHICLE SABOTAGE AND DEVILTRY
-
- I have made referrences throughout the text to different odds and ends
- you could do to a mark's vehicle. These included the bologna trick,
- bleaching the paintjob, etc. Now we are about to enter a whole new
- realm of vehicle specific sabotage. Have fun, gents!
-
- Things to do to the gas tank [Note: You will probably need a funnel
- similar to an STP oil funnel to hold the close mechanism open. Also
- some older cars had a wire mesh screen which may need to be broken
- for some of the following to have effect. I suggest getting a snake
- from your local plumbing supply store, and coating it with rubber
- tubing [metal against metal + gas = BOOM!].]:
-
- 1> Pour water in. Will flood the engine and cause some nice
- problems.
-
- 2> Do the infamous sugar trick. Sugar will ruin the mark's
- engine.
-
- 3> Prepare a hydroxide based explosive capsule, as prepared in
- LoL #5: How to Kill Your Mother Part I.
-
- 4> Pour some mortar or cement in the tank. You will ruin the
- car. He will at LEAST need a new tank, and some cement should
- not solidify and remain in solution and work its way into the
- engine, which will cause desirable results.
-
- 5> Piss in it... What the hell... When you gotta go, you gotta
- go...
-
-
- Things to do to the door locks: Locks have LONG been a passion
- of mine. I don't appreciate the idea behind them -- to keep
- people out. I mean it is more challenging... Nobody ever wants
- to break into something without a lock, because it is amateurish,
- and this adds some toughness to the project and requires skill...
-
- 1> Take a key to a similar make of car, put it in, if necessary,
- tap it in with a ballpeen hammer. Once it is in and has ruined the
- lock, be a gentleman and take the ballpeen hammer and whack the
- portion of the key sticking outside to shear it off, leaving the
- mark with a trip to the local locksmiths...
-
- 2> A personal favorite is to take a tube to krazy glue and inject
- it into the lock. I suppose model airplane glue [such as that
- manufactured by Testor] would get the end results, but Krazy Glue
- is NOTORIOUS for durability and consistancy. Remember, only the
- BEST for YOUR victim Haha! If you have a heart, you may just get
- one door... If you are like me, you will do all the doors, trunk
- or hatchback. Also, a FUN prank to pull is to take off the gascap
- and wash it with a paper to dry it, and then glue the threads, and
- TIGHTLY screw it on. Works best when the mark has a near full
- tank. Next time he rolls into the local Amaco, he looks like the
- total fool he is when the wimp can't even remove a gascap...
-
- 3> Inject water into the lock. Will take some time, but will cause
- iron [III] oxide formation [rust] and cost him a new lock. Also,
- in the cold weather, it is PERFECT. Nothing like a good frozen
- lock to piss someone off...
-
- 4> If you have access to burglary tools, you probably have some
- kind of modified sectional jimmy, prybar, or other device that
- will enable you to quickly PULL the lock right off [an example of
- this was with Arnold Schwartzenegger in THE TERMINATOR]. Except
- he could do this with bare hands... Then after a month has passed,
- mail the lock to the mark in a box with giftwrapping and a nice
- card that says 'LOOKING FOR THIS?'...
-
-
- Things to do to the exhaust system: The tailpipe has been a
- popular anarchist's target from way back. However, it was
- rejuvinated by Eddie Murphey with his famous 'Banana in the
- Tailpipe' trick in Beverly Hills Cop. Here are some other ideas,
- you may wish to consider...
-
- 1> Backfiring substitutes: Murphey used a banana. A buddy of
- mine's favorite is an Idaho potatoe. He said bananas are so
- mushy they are good, but potatoes are harder to remove... A
- practical way to do this, if you have access to machinist's tools,
- is to take a telescoping guage, stick it up the pipe, then use a
- micrometer to measure the distance and whittle the potatoe
- accordingly... The basic point is the fruit/vegetable MUST
- have some rigidity to stick... So don't even try watermelon, and
- shit like that... Other non-organic devices, such as putty,
- spackling compound, cement, etc will achieve the same results.
- Be creative!
-
- 2> Tailpipes are held on by usually 2 brackets towards the rear
- of the vehicle. Climb underneath the rear end, and using a socket
- wrench, remove them, so he is driving an unsafe vehicle and will
- PROBABLY get a ticket when you do your 'patriotic duty' and call
- the cops as soon as you see him hop in the vehicle... I have not
- done much research on this, so I do not know exact size sockets
- required. I would be most appreciative if some of you field
- operatives could look into this and get back with me... Also,
- you may wish to use a wire cutter or bolt cutter to remove these
- brackets.
-
- 3> A noisy muffler is a definite replacement item. Hmmm.. Perhaps
- the mark's vehicle has been rather quiet as of late... Well here
- is how you solve that problem!! Take a scratch awl and knock holes
- in the bottom of the muffler, which will cause a lot of noise, and
- a repair bill for the sap.
-
- 4> For the real pros... You may wish to aquire an old vacuum
- cleaner which has a reverse emptying mode and put gasoline inside
- the waste compartment... Create a tank using a plastic milk jug,
- as there is NO need for YOU to blow yourself up... Then inject
- the gasoline in the tailpipe, and if the pressure is strong enough,
- some should go all the way to the muffler. Then leave the primises.
- After the car is started and that gets warm, BAM... Need I say more?
- [WARNING: Do NOT do this to a hot muffler as the wrong person (you)
- may, 'take the heat' so to speak...]
-
-
- Things to do to the windows: Windows are made of compressed silica
- [glass]. They are the number one vulnerable spot in the car.
- Every driver has had a bad windshield at SOME time or other. Heck,
- one day 3 months ago going down the freeway, a pebble hit my
- windshield and made a nice nick... And that doesn't include heavy
- duty things, like throwing bricks and wood planks off of freeway
- overpasses onto cars...
-
- 1> Break it! : This is the most common... I personally find it
- childish and lacking creativity, but if you must... Most people
- will knock it out with a CO2 pistol, Crossman Air Rifle, or a
- marble/rock from a wrist rocket. You may also use just about any
- device with weight... Baseball, axe, hammer, brick, etc. One of
- the more interesting and more obscure methods is to use a burglary
- technique, by taping the window [usually shatterproof anyways] and
- then hitting it... Makes a LOT less noise, and shows you have SOME
- creativity...
-
- 2> Grease job: Another fun sport occurs every summer. Dumb
- fools insist upon leaving their doors open. This is where we
- anarchists take over. Open the door from the inside, hop in, roll
- up the window, squirt some motor oil or fine grease on it, roll it
- back down, and it is PERMANENTLY destroy. Glass consists of tiny
- crevaces and the oil settles in, and it will NEVER come out...
-
- 3> Sticker Shock: Another novelty is to ALWAYS collect bumper
- stickers. They are a MUST have item in QUANTITY in your personal
- arsenal. They are usually quite prevalent near election time, so
- it is wise to have a voting age friend do some free work for a
- candidate. The other widely publicized method is through radio
- stations. Most radio stations have stacks of different groups
- on hand for promotional reasons, and public relations. Stick a
- bumper sticker in the driver's field of vision. A more fun way
- is to just PLASTER the whole windshield with them. Take note to
- use gloves and do NOT get your fingerprints on them, as you can
- BET the mark will have the police look at it.
-
- 4> Dutch Boy: Paint is another popular idea. Get any color, any
- kind. It will have the same result... You may also wish to use
- something such as liquid tar, which will be more messy. Sloppily
- apply the paint, preferrably by tossing it at the windshield, and
- the rest of the vehicle as well. You may wish to use a brush or
- roller if you are a real perfectionist. Myself, the sloppier, the
- better!!
-
- 5> Men's faces and ladie's legs frequently need shaving. Why not
- the car as well?? Take a razor [straight or retractable], or an
- x-acto knife and proceed to shave the glass, which will reck the
- window and rile the mark. This technique may also be applied with
- good result's to the mark's house windows.
-
-
- OTHER MISCELLANEOUS TACTICS
-
- If the mark has a bird feeder, you may wish to get him in trouble with
- the DNR, local animal shelter, etc. How?? EASY! Get a poison,
- such as diazonin, and pour in in the food dish in the feeder. Also,
- cedar chips have been known to damage avian respiratory systems and
- cause possible convulsions and death.
-
- One man's trash is another man's treasure, as a famous saying goes.
- The mark's trash may proove to be your vengeful treasure! You may
- wish to go trashing to possibily set the mark up. Here are some
- things to look for when trashing:
-
- + Letters from friends. Helps you learn more inside info...
- + Phone bills. Learn who the mark knows, where they are, and
- when he calls them.
- + Credit card carbons. In this day when commoners are aware
- of the trashers who hover over the back of the local K-Mart's
- at night, many citizens DEMAND their carbons. What do they
- do with them?? Tear them up at home, of course. So now you
- have their cc, and may use it for referrence material...
- [Among other things :)]
- + Magazines. You may want to rip off some mailing labels, when
- you decide to start harassing the mark and 'subscribing' him
- to periodicals, such as HOT HOUSEWIVES, THE GAY TIMES, etc.
-
- The trash may proove of pleasurable anarchical value as well. Merely
- pour a gallon of gasoline on the trash, and ignite...
-
- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-
- Welp, that ends Volume I of 'Professional Housebombing/Homewrecking'.
- This is by NO means a compendium of ALL the possible tactics you may
- wish to employ. This merely serves as interesting reading, and a
- brief tutorial for the young aspiring anarchist. Look for subsiquent
- material related to this topic to be published at a later date.
-
-
- + Look soon for more inspiring text files by the £egions ôf £ucifer
- tfile group!
-
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- "Anarchy is the base of todays society, without it, we would be in chaos"
- C- Anarchist
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- -=*> Dishonestly LEECHED from Data Infinity, Inc. (DII) <*=-
-