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- $ $
- $ MONEY $
- $ $
- $ LAUNDERING $
- $ $
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- $ BY $
- $ $
- $ BIG BAD BARBARIAN $
- $ $
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-
- LAUN-DER (LON'DER), V.T. & V.I. 1. TO WASH, IRON, ETC. (CLOTHES). 2. THE
- REROUTING, OR CONVERSION IN ANY WAY, OF HOT, UNTAXED MONEY OR OTHER ASSETS
- INTO UNTRACEABLE OR APPARENTLY LEGITIMATE CASH OR ASSETS.
-
- THIS FILE DEALS WITH HOW SOME PEOPLE DO THE LATTER, AND IS NOT A CONDONEMENT.
-
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-
- LET'S SAY THIS GUY HAS JUST COME INTO ABOUT $1,000,000 AND DIDN'T WIN ANY
- BOY SCOUT BADGES GETTING IT. WHAT DOES HE DO WITH IT?
-
- HE CAN'T KEEP IT IN HIS HOUSE, BECAUSE IF THE COPS GET A SEARCH WARRANT
- AGAINST HIM, A DUFFEL BAG FILLED WITH CASH UNDER THE BED CAN BE EMBARASSING.
-
- HE COULD PUT IT INTO A SAFE DEPOSIT BOX, BUT HE'D EITHER HAVE TO VISIT IT
- TOO OFTEN, WHICH WOULD SUSPICIOUSLY SHOW UP ON THE BANK'S RECORDS, OR VISIT IT
- INFREQUENTLY, WHICH MEANS CARRYING HUGE SUMS OF CURRENCY AROUND. IN EITHER
- CASE, IF THE POLICE WANT TO LOOK AT THE BOX, THE BANK HAS TO LET THEM.
-
- A CHECKING ACCOUNT? BY LAW, DEPOSITS OF MORE THAN $10,000 HAVE TO BE
- REPORTED TO THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT. IF OUR FRIEND JUST DEPOSITED $9,000 AT
- A TIME, HE HAVE TO MAKE OVER 30 TRANSACTIONS, ANOTHER FLAG IN THE AIR FOR THE
- AUTHORITIES TO SEE. (BANKS JUST LOVE TO COOPERATE WITH THE GOOFAMAN).
-
- THIS GUY CAN'T WIN, CAN HE? WHEN YOU DEAL WITH BANKS, YOU LEAVE TRACKS.
- YOU COULD SPEND A FEW THOUSAND A YEAR AND ATTRACT NO ATTENTION, BUT WHO WANTS
- TO LIVE ON 5 DIGITS A YEAR WHEN YOU'VE GOT 7 DIGITS LAYING AROUND? DIRTY MONEY
- MUST BE LAUNDERED IN ORDER FOR IT TO TRULY BECOME YOUR CASH. THE METHODS FOR
- DOING THIS VARY DEPENDING ON CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES.
-
- ---
-
- SECURITIES: JERRY ZELMANOWITZ, A MOB OPERATIVE, SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF
- LAUNDERING STOLEN SECURITIES. ANY GOOD THIEF WILL KEEP HIS STOLEN MONEY,
- JEWELRY, AND ASSORTED GOODIES, AND TRASH THE SECURITIES. JERRY CHANGED ALL
- THIS BY OPENING SOME EUROPEAN BANK ACCOUNTS, TRANSFERRING FUNDS AROUND TO SHOW
- SEVERAL LEGITIMATE TRANSACTIONS, AND THEN USING THE STOLEN SECURITIES FOR LOAN
- COLLATERAL. HE KEPT THE LOANS OUTSTANDING, AND HIS CLIENTS HAD SOME NIFTY
- CAPITAL TO WORK WITH. THEY COULD PAY THEIR LOANS BACK, KEEP REFINANCING THEM,
- OR SIMPLY DEFAULT ON THEM, LETTING THE BANK DISPOSE OF THE COLLATERAL.
- THE CATCH? A BANK CLERK MAY HAVE CHECKED THE SECURITIES AGAINST A
- HOT-LIST AND CAUGHT THE GUY. ANOTHER OPERATIVE GOT AROUND THIS BY PUTTING A
- BANK CLERK IN HIS BACK POCKET, WHO THEN SWITCHED THE STOLEN SECURITIES FOR
- LEGIT ONES OF THE SAME ISSUE. BUT WHAT IF ANOTHER CLERK CHECKS THE SERIAL
- NUMBERS? YIKES! NO WAY AROUND THAT ONE.
-
- SMALL CHANGE: E THE $1,000,000 IS IN $1'S, $5'S, $10'S, $20'S, THE KIND
- OF BILLS WITH WHICH JUNKIES PAY FOR DRUGS, JOHNS PAY THEIR HOOKER'S PIMP, ETC.
- HE CAN'T REALLY WALTZ INTO A SWEDISH BANK AND PLOP A MOUNTAIN OF DIRTY,
- CRUMPLED LITTLE BILLS AND SAY "I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOSIT, PLEASE. I OWN A
- 7-11 IN THE STATES AND THIS IS MY CASH-DRAWER TAKE."
- TO SOLVE THIS, YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO GO TO EUROPE. JUST PUT A BANK CLERK
- IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND (THERE IS AN UNDERWORLD BANKING SYSTEM OUT THERE -
- MEMBERS ARE NOT HARD TO FIND). THEY TAKE YOUR $1'S AND $5'S AND TURN THEM INTO
- CLEAN, CRISP $50'S AND $100'S. THE BANK DOESN'T SUFFER, AND NEITHER DOES THE
- CLERK (CLERKS IN BIG CITY BANKS TAKE 1% OF WHAT THE LAUNDER). THE ONLY LAW
- THEY BREAK IS NOT REPORTING $10,000-PLUS TRANSACTIONS. BUT IT DOES WORK, FOR
- AWHILE. BEFORE GETTING CAUGHT, EMPLOYEES OF CHEMICAL BANK CHANGED OVER
- $8,000,000.
-
- SMALL BUSINESS: THE IRS IS AS BIG A PROBLEM FOR A CROOK AS THE FBI. IF YOU
- OWN TWO BUILDINGS, FIVE LAMBORGHINIS, TAKE SEMI-ANNUAL TRIPS TO TAHITI, YOU
- CAN'T TURN AROUND AND TELL THE IRS YOU MAKE $15,000 A YEAR AS A MAIL SORTER
- (SOMEONE TRIED THAT RECENTLY - WITHOUT SUCCESS).
- ONE CROOK OWNED A DINER ON THE SIDE. AT NIGHT, HE WOULD DISMISS HIS
- CASHIER AND START RINGING UP PHONY SALES WITH HIS STOLEN CASH. HE'D REPORT
- HIS PROFITS HONESTLY, PAY TAXES ON THEM, AND KEEP, PERHAPS, 50% OF HIS DIRTY
- LOOT. BUT NOW IT WAS CLEAN LOOT, AND AS LONG AS THE IRS GOT ITS TAX MONEY, IT
- HAD NO REASON TO NOTIFY THE FEDS. HE USED HIS ILLEGALLY INFLATED PROFITS TO
- BUY SOME MORE DINERS, AND LAUNDER EVEN LARGER AMOUNTS OF DIRTY CASH.
- WHEN HE BOUGHT THE DINERS, HE MIGHT HAVE TOLD THE IRS THAT HE PAID LESS
- FOR THEM THAN HE ACTUALLY DID. IF AN AUDIT WAS DONE, THE IRS WOULD HAVE
- SUSPECTED THE SELLER OF UNDERHANDED DOINGS, NOT THE BUYER WITH THE HOT CASH.
-
- LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT: TRAVELER'S CHECKS ARE PROBABLY THE BEST METHOD OF
- CLEANING CASH. HOWEVER, SPECIAL RECORDS ARE KEPT FOR CHECKS MADE OUT FOR MORE
- THAN $5,000. BUT IN A BIG CITY, ONE CAN PURCHASE SEVERAL KINDS OF TRAVELER'S
- CHECKS FROM A VARIETY OF OUTLETS. TO LAUNDER $100,000 OF CASH WOULD MEAN
- MAKING TRIPS TO 20 DIFFERENT OFFICES, BUT THAT'S NOT BAD FOR ONE DAY OF WORK,
- ONCE A MONTH. THE ONLY ADDITIONAL LABOR IS IN BURNING THE CHECKS, FLUSHING
- THE ASHES DOWN THE WHITE WISHING WELL, AND TAKING THE RECEIPTS BACK FOR
- REFUNDS OF CLEAN, UNTRACEABLE MOOLA.
-
- LEAVE HOME WITH IT: BETTER THAN GETTING A REFUND AT AN AMERICAN OFFICE,
- IT'S SAFER TO TAKE A TRIP TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY, PREFERABLY SWEDEN, REFUND YOUR
- MONEY THERE, AND OPEN AN ACCOUNT. SOME BANKS IN SWEDEN REQUIRE AMERICANS TO
- SIGN A WAIVER OF THE SWEDISH BANK SECRECY LAWS, BUT IF A CUSTOMER MAKES A BIG
- STINK AND DROPS A $100,000 WAD OF CASH ON THE COUNTER, THE BANKER MAY MAKE AN
- EXCEPTION TO THIS POLICY . . .
- THIS MONEY IS NOW SUBJECT TO AMERICAN TAX LAWS, AND YOUR NAME BETTER NOT
- BE ON THIS ACCOUNT. IF SOMEONE CAN'T GET THE BENEFIT OF THE SWISS SECRECY
- LAWS AND HAS TO SIGN THE WAIVER, THERE ARE ALTERNATIVES. EUROBONDS, FOR ONE.
- THESE ARARER SECURITIES, AND DON'T HAVE NAMES ON THEM. HE CAN SAFELY
- REDEEM AND SELL THESE EUROBONDS ALMOST ANYWHERE IN WESTERN EUROPE, AND THE IRS
- DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THEM.
- BUT SUPPOSE THIS SCHMUCK DOESN'T WANT TO BLOW ALL HIS MONEY BUYING
- SOUVENIRS IN BULGARIA? A RISKIER BUT HANDIER METHOD IS TO OBTAIN A FALSE
- PASSPORT (USE A CERTIFIED COPY OF A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OF A DEAD INFANT WITH
- THE SAME PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES AS HIMSELF TO GET ONE). HE CAN OPEN THE SWEDISH
- ACCOUNT UNDER A PHONY NAME, AND THEN TRANSFER IT TO HIS LEGITIMATE AMERICAN
- ACCOUNT IN HIS REAL NAME. THEN HE CAN JUST TELL THE GOVERNMENT (IF THEY ASK)
- THAT A SWEDE SENT THE MONEY TO BE INVESTED IN A DINER OR SOMETHING.
-
- THE JIM AND TAMMY SCAM: INSTEAD OF OPENING A BUSINESS, A MIDWESTERN CON
- BECAME AN PREACHER (IRONIC, ISN'T IT?) AND STARTED A TRAVELING EVANGELICAL TENT
- SHOW. A MOB MESSENGER WOULD ARRIVE JUST IN TIME FOR THE PLATE PASSIN', AND
- DUMP A GOODLY CACHE OF CASH INTO IT. THE PREACHER ACCOUNTED FOR THE MONEY AS
- CONTRIBUTIONS AND SENT IT BACK TO THE MOB, MINUS A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE. THE
- PERCENTAGE WOULD THAN BE ACCOUNTED FOR AS OVERPAYMENTS FOR CHURCHES, SCHOOLS,
- WHATEVER.
-
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-
- YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL THESE METHODS ARE KNOWN BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO USED
- THEM WERE EVENTUALLY CAUGHT AND SERVED TIME. NOTHING IS FOOL-PROOF. IF YOU
- WANT TO MAKE EASY MONEY, GO TO THE BANK WITH A CHECK FOR, SAY, $200. WHEN THE
- PURDY LITTLE THANG BEHIND THE TELLER WINDOW ASKS YOU HOW YOU WANT IT, SAY, "I'D
- LIKE 1 $100, 2 $50'S, AND 5 $20'S". SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
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