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-
- SHIELD-U2
-
- An excerpt from:
-
- "PERSONAL SHIELD"
- (51 Things Criminals Don't Want You To Know)
-
- by Philo Couch
-
- The Golden Link
- 1685 South Colorado Blvd. (Unit S-146)
- Denver, CO 80222
- (303) 595-5740
-
-
-
- SECRET One
-
- Four "magic phrases" exist that when placed on a sign near your door, can
- make thieves want to go elsewhere. They are DOGS, SNAKES, AIDS, and HIGH-
- TECH TRAPS. Examples are given, starting on page 1.
-
-
- SECRET Two
-
- Writing your own sign is the only way to make it practical and believable.
- The basic theory is described on page 5, in the section called "NUTSHELL
- THEORY."
-
-
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
- In the last section, we discussed using a criminal's imagination to frighten
- him into leaving you alone. This principle works even better to combat burg-
- laries. A thief has more to lose than a crank caller, because he's physically
- present. So it's much easier to make this kind of criminal nervous.
-
- According to our research, there are four things that scare burglars more than
- all others when mentioned in a sign. They are dogs, snakes, AIDS, and high-
- tech traps. Any sign that warns of the presence of any of these can be very
- effective in convincing the every-day thief to go elsewhere. Here are some
- examples:
-
-
-
-
- ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ │
- │ CAUTION! │
- │ │
- │ One of our dogs has │
- │ KIV Type-I AIDS │
- │ │
- │ │
- │ │
- └───────────────────────────────────────────┘
- This one is best used by those with at
- least one dog.
-
-
-
-
- -- Page 1 --
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ BUDDY - │
- │ │
- │ DON'T COME IN! The snakes are loose again, │
- │ and the python is too big for even you to │
- │ handle alone. │
- │ │
- │ Stay close, I'll be back soon. │
- │ │
- │ │
- └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
- Only an idiot would break into a home with a sign like this!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ┌────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ CALL FIRST! │
- │ │
- │ We Don't Answer The Door │
- │ │
- └────────────────────────────┘
- Many thieves knock on a door to see
- if anyone's home, before breaking in.
- This may make them think twice.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- -- Page 2 --
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ┌────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ Beware of Barkless │
- │ Egyptian Hounds │
- │ │
- └────────────────────────────┘
- What burglar will know that no
- such animal exists?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-
-
-
-
-
-
- ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ Alex, │
- │ │
- │ DON'T use that new key to the booby traps! │
- │ They're going off by themselves, and one of │
- │ us has already been burned! Just be around │
- │ when I get back. │
- │ │
- │ │
- └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
- The idea is to make the thief think that you've got
- high-tech traps inside. Be careful that you don't
- attract too much curiosity!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- -- Page 3 --
-
-
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-
-
-
- ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ Guys! │
- │ │
- │ Don't come in until the Health Department gets finished │
- │ inside!! Mickey got a new skunk last weekend. │
- │ │
- │ The vet says it has AIDS, and we shouldn't take any chances! │
- │ │
- └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
- Everyone is afraid of AIDS, and no criminal knows exactly what types
- there are.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-
-
-
-
- ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
- │ │
- │ SMILE! │
- │ │
- │ You've Already Been Videotaped │
- │ │
- │ │
- └──────────────────────────────────┘
- Put this one on a door that has a window
- nearby. Perhaps a fake video camera can
- be put in the window.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- -- Page 4 --
-
- NUTSHELL THEORY
-
-
- To make these signs really work, you must create your own variations. When
- writing your signs, there is some "theory" that you should follow. The basic
- rules are described here:
-
-
- CONSIDER WHETHER A GIVEN SIGN IS OF A PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY NATURE. A sign
- that warns of dogs with AIDS (page 1) can remain in place for months if
- needed. But a loose snake or misfiring man-trap is NOT an every-day matter.
- If your sign is temporary in nature, DON'T leave it sitting on the front door
- for more than a day or two. Also, temporary signs are best when they're hand-
- written.
-
- CONFUSION AND TWISTED HUMOR. Some of the signs we've suggested mention dogs
- and diseases that probably don't even exist. One thing a burglar does NOT
- want is a mental distraction. It's one thing to make a thief stop and ask,
- "Is there any such thing?" But in this case, we want the crook to feel that
- he's not safe until that confusion is cleared up. Since they can't resolve the
- question, they may feel that another target would be best. Twisted humor has
- a threatening effect, if it's properly worded. A sign that warns of an
- "Attack Cat With AIDS" won't be taken seriously, in the direct sense. But it
- should make the burglar wonder what kind of maniac lives inside, and if you
- use excess measures to protect your property. People who do go to extremes
- may have man-traps set up, or may be armed and prepared for trouble. Nobody
- wants to be caught by a crazy occupant defending his lair. If you write a
- "twisted" sign, it should give the idea that you can't wait for someone to
- break in, so you can try out your new way of catching them. Perhaps you're
- nuts enough to wait in the dark for thieves to pick your door. Maybe you've
- trained your dog remain quiet until a burglar is inside. Be creative, and
- sometimes slightly offensive.
-
- THIRD-PERSON FORMAT. A sign that speaks directly to the thief can be called a
- "second-person" message. It addresses them directly by pointing a message
- right at them. An example is the sign that says, "To Hell With The Dog.......
- Beware Of Owner!" Burglars expect such threats, and usually ignore them. But
- a message NOT intended for the crook may have a deeper effect, because the
- thief believes that he's intercepted a communication between other people.
- When you leave a warning for your neighbor, about the escaped snakes, a
- burglar will feel he's been made privy to a special piece of inside inform-
- ation. He'll think that the fact that he knows NOT to break in is a secret
- advantage. An exception to the Second-Person rule is the "Smile" sign, on
- page 4. This speaks directly to anyone with dishonest motives.
-
- THE MEANING OF THE TERM HIGH-TECH TRAP. Two examples are included here that
- mention some kind of trap directly. The sign at the bottom of page 3 tries
- to warn "Alex" about a dangerous one. This says that you're willing to
- install deadly weapons in your home or office, that can be set off auto-
- matically. Remember that a thief may not believe that you have such traps in
- a home where children live. Perhaps this one is best used on an office door.
- DO inform the building managers that your sign is just a security measure.
- Otherwise, they may feel that you're endangering fellow tenants. Another
- trap example is the "Smile" sign on page 4. The trap here is not physically
- dangerous, but a camera a legal weapon. For this to work, you MUST be taken
- seriously. The best way to make a thief believe you have a camera is to let
- him see one, through a window near the sign. It does NOT have to be a real
- camera, but it should look like one. A suitable fake can be built from sheet
- metal, coffee cans, or actual parts from old cameras. Maybe the local camera
- or electronics shop will give you some throw-away gadgets that can be put
- together to give an authentic look.
-
-
-
- -- Page 5 --
-
- IMPORTANT: Make your fake camera look like a video or closed-circuit (CCTV)
- camera, not a still shot version. An ordinary camera will be just one more
- thing to tempt burglars. And they know that these cameras usually don't work
- that way. A thief could remove the evidence (film) by just swiping the whole
- camera. But a video camera, like the ones you see in the bank, can send a
- signal to a remote location instantly. Plus, it looks more like the type of
- equipment used by people in the security field.
-
- MULTIPLE SUGGESTIONS ARE EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE. There's no reason that you can't
- combine the Four Magic Phrases in the same sign. Consider the example on page
- 1 which warns of dogs with AIDS. Most of the burglars we interviewed said
- that one of these phrases (dogs and AIDS) would be enough to scare them. But
- they also said that more than one on the same sign would make them turn around
- on the spot. The sign at the top of page 2 sends multiple messages. First,
- it suggests that you have a large friend, named Buddy, lurking nearby. Also,
- it says there are at least two snakes loose in the house, and one of them must
- be a monster! And finally, it says that you should be home any minute, since
- you've asked Buddy to stick around. Few crooks will be willing to call your
- bluff on this one, unless you leave it in place for too long.
-
- MAKE SURE THAT FIRE AND RESCUE PERSONNEL WON'T BE SCARED AWAY, WHEN YOU NEED
- THEM. Fire-fighters have told our staff that they occasionally get a call to
- a burning building with a sign that warns of a man-trap. If the owner is not
- available, they may not enter at all. If your home has occupants that may
- need emergency medical help, some of the suggested signs could keep rescue
- workers from responding, past the front door. BE CAREFUL!
-
- SOME CROOKS ARE EXTRA DARING. If a thief does ignore these signs, it means
- one of three things. First, it could be that your sign was not taken
- seriously. Second, the thief may not be able to read at all (or doesn't read
- in your language). Third, it may be that the burglar is armed, and doesn't
- care what he must do once inside. Beware of any thieves that will ignore these
- signs. They must be considered desperate and dangerous! As for not being
- taken seriously, this also is a problem. A good thief will wonder why you've
- gone to these lengths to scare him off. It might give him extra motivation to
- see what you're protecting. Just remember, you MUST be taken seriously for
- these signs to work. This means that if you claim you don't answer the door,
- then DON'T. Avoid using signs that mention dogs if it's obvious that you
- don't have one. If you're a woman in her 70's, no one expects you to own a
- twelve-foot snake. The art is in finding the thin line between serious and
- sadistically crazy.
-
-
-
-
-
-
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
- Copyright (C) 1994, The Golden Link.
-
- This version of SHIELD-U2 is released into the public domain. It may be
- freely copied and exchanged with two provisions. 1)No charge may be made to
- provide a copy of this file's contents. 2)Only absolutely unmodified copies
- of this file may be distributed.
-
- No part of the book "Personal Shield" may be considered public domain. Said
- book (from which this file is an excerpt) is a copyrighted work, all parts of
- which are protected by copyright, all rights concerning which are reserved.
-
-
-
- -- Page 6 --
-
-