The Hacker's Encyclopedia 1998

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SHIELD-U2 An excerpt from: "PERSONAL SHIELD" (51 Things Criminals Don't Want You To Know) by Philo Couch The Golden Link 1685 South Colorado Blvd. (Unit S-146) Denver, CO 80222 (303) 595-5740 SECRET One Four "magic phrases" exist that when placed on a sign near your door, can make thieves want to go elsewhere. They are DOGS, SNAKES, AIDS, and HIGH- TECH TRAPS. Examples are given, starting on page 1. SECRET Two Writing your own sign is the only way to make it practical and believable. The basic theory is described on page 5, in the section called "NUTSHELL THEORY." ----------------------------------------------------------------- In the last section, we discussed using a criminal's imagination to frighten him into leaving you alone. This principle works even better to combat burg- laries. A thief has more to lose than a crank caller, because he's physically present. So it's much easier to make this kind of criminal nervous. According to our research, there are four things that scare burglars more than all others when mentioned in a sign. They are dogs, snakes, AIDS, and high- tech traps. Any sign that warns of the presence of any of these can be very effective in convincing the every-day thief to go elsewhere. Here are some examples: ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ │ │ CAUTION! │ │ │ │ One of our dogs has │ │ KIV Type-I AIDS │ │ │ │ │ │ │ └───────────────────────────────────────────┘ This one is best used by those with at least one dog. -- Page 1 -- ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ BUDDY - │ │ │ │ DON'T COME IN! The snakes are loose again, │ │ and the python is too big for even you to │ │ handle alone. │ │ │ │ Stay close, I'll be back soon. │ │ │ │ │ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ Only an idiot would break into a home with a sign like this! ┌────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ CALL FIRST! │ │ │ │ We Don't Answer The Door │ │ │ └────────────────────────────┘ Many thieves knock on a door to see if anyone's home, before breaking in. This may make them think twice. -- Page 2 -- ┌────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ Beware of Barkless │ │ Egyptian Hounds │ │ │ └────────────────────────────┘ What burglar will know that no such animal exists? ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ Alex, │ │ │ │ DON'T use that new key to the booby traps! │ │ They're going off by themselves, and one of │ │ us has already been burned! Just be around │ │ when I get back. │ │ │ │ │ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ The idea is to make the thief think that you've got high-tech traps inside. Be careful that you don't attract too much curiosity! -- Page 3 -- ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ Guys! │ │ │ │ Don't come in until the Health Department gets finished │ │ inside!! Mickey got a new skunk last weekend. │ │ │ │ The vet says it has AIDS, and we shouldn't take any chances! │ │ │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ Everyone is afraid of AIDS, and no criminal knows exactly what types there are. ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ SMILE! │ │ │ │ You've Already Been Videotaped │ │ │ │ │ └──────────────────────────────────┘ Put this one on a door that has a window nearby. Perhaps a fake video camera can be put in the window. -- Page 4 -- NUTSHELL THEORY To make these signs really work, you must create your own variations. When writing your signs, there is some "theory" that you should follow. The basic rules are described here: CONSIDER WHETHER A GIVEN SIGN IS OF A PERMANENT OR TEMPORARY NATURE. A sign that warns of dogs with AIDS (page 1) can remain in place for months if needed. But a loose snake or misfiring man-trap is NOT an every-day matter. If your sign is temporary in nature, DON'T leave it sitting on the front door for more than a day or two. Also, temporary signs are best when they're hand- written. CONFUSION AND TWISTED HUMOR. Some of the signs we've suggested mention dogs and diseases that probably don't even exist. One thing a burglar does NOT want is a mental distraction. It's one thing to make a thief stop and ask, "Is there any such thing?" But in this case, we want the crook to feel that he's not safe until that confusion is cleared up. Since they can't resolve the question, they may feel that another target would be best. Twisted humor has a threatening effect, if it's properly worded. A sign that warns of an "Attack Cat With AIDS" won't be taken seriously, in the direct sense. But it should make the burglar wonder what kind of maniac lives inside, and if you use excess measures to protect your property. People who do go to extremes may have man-traps set up, or may be armed and prepared for trouble. Nobody wants to be caught by a crazy occupant defending his lair. If you write a "twisted" sign, it should give the idea that you can't wait for someone to break in, so you can try out your new way of catching them. Perhaps you're nuts enough to wait in the dark for thieves to pick your door. Maybe you've trained your dog remain quiet until a burglar is inside. Be creative, and sometimes slightly offensive. THIRD-PERSON FORMAT. A sign that speaks directly to the thief can be called a "second-person" message. It addresses them directly by pointing a message right at them. An example is the sign that says, "To Hell With The Dog....... Beware Of Owner!" Burglars expect such threats, and usually ignore them. But a message NOT intended for the crook may have a deeper effect, because the thief believes that he's intercepted a communication between other people. When you leave a warning for your neighbor, about the escaped snakes, a burglar will feel he's been made privy to a special piece of inside inform- ation. He'll think that the fact that he knows NOT to break in is a secret advantage. An exception to the Second-Person rule is the "Smile" sign, on page 4. This speaks directly to anyone with dishonest motives. THE MEANING OF THE TERM HIGH-TECH TRAP. Two examples are included here that mention some kind of trap directly. The sign at the bottom of page 3 tries to warn "Alex" about a dangerous one. This says that you're willing to install deadly weapons in your home or office, that can be set off auto- matically. Remember that a thief may not believe that you have such traps in a home where children live. Perhaps this one is best used on an office door. DO inform the building managers that your sign is just a security measure. Otherwise, they may feel that you're endangering fellow tenants. Another trap example is the "Smile" sign on page 4. The trap here is not physically dangerous, but a camera a legal weapon. For this to work, you MUST be taken seriously. The best way to make a thief believe you have a camera is to let him see one, through a window near the sign. It does NOT have to be a real camera, but it should look like one. A suitable fake can be built from sheet metal, coffee cans, or actual parts from old cameras. Maybe the local camera or electronics shop will give you some throw-away gadgets that can be put together to give an authentic look. -- Page 5 -- IMPORTANT: Make your fake camera look like a video or closed-circuit (CCTV) camera, not a still shot version. An ordinary camera will be just one more thing to tempt burglars. And they know that these cameras usually don't work that way. A thief could remove the evidence (film) by just swiping the whole camera. But a video camera, like the ones you see in the bank, can send a signal to a remote location instantly. Plus, it looks more like the type of equipment used by people in the security field. MULTIPLE SUGGESTIONS ARE EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE. There's no reason that you can't combine the Four Magic Phrases in the same sign. Consider the example on page 1 which warns of dogs with AIDS. Most of the burglars we interviewed said that one of these phrases (dogs and AIDS) would be enough to scare them. But they also said that more than one on the same sign would make them turn around on the spot. The sign at the top of page 2 sends multiple messages. First, it suggests that you have a large friend, named Buddy, lurking nearby. Also, it says there are at least two snakes loose in the house, and one of them must be a monster! And finally, it says that you should be home any minute, since you've asked Buddy to stick around. Few crooks will be willing to call your bluff on this one, unless you leave it in place for too long. MAKE SURE THAT FIRE AND RESCUE PERSONNEL WON'T BE SCARED AWAY, WHEN YOU NEED THEM. Fire-fighters have told our staff that they occasionally get a call to a burning building with a sign that warns of a man-trap. If the owner is not available, they may not enter at all. If your home has occupants that may need emergency medical help, some of the suggested signs could keep rescue workers from responding, past the front door. BE CAREFUL! SOME CROOKS ARE EXTRA DARING. If a thief does ignore these signs, it means one of three things. First, it could be that your sign was not taken seriously. Second, the thief may not be able to read at all (or doesn't read in your language). Third, it may be that the burglar is armed, and doesn't care what he must do once inside. Beware of any thieves that will ignore these signs. They must be considered desperate and dangerous! As for not being taken seriously, this also is a problem. A good thief will wonder why you've gone to these lengths to scare him off. It might give him extra motivation to see what you're protecting. Just remember, you MUST be taken seriously for these signs to work. This means that if you claim you don't answer the door, then DON'T. Avoid using signs that mention dogs if it's obvious that you don't have one. If you're a woman in her 70's, no one expects you to own a twelve-foot snake. The art is in finding the thin line between serious and sadistically crazy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright (C) 1994, The Golden Link. This version of SHIELD-U2 is released into the public domain. It may be freely copied and exchanged with two provisions. 1)No charge may be made to provide a copy of this file's contents. 2)Only absolutely unmodified copies of this file may be distributed. No part of the book "Personal Shield" may be considered public domain. Said book (from which this file is an excerpt) is a copyrighted work, all parts of which are protected by copyright, all rights concerning which are reserved. -- Page 6 --