The Hacker's Encyclopedia 1998/hackers_encyclopedia.iso/etc/hacklaw/year.aol

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Message #19 (19 is last):
Date: Thu Dec 21 21:01:08 1995
From: ui423 ("Philip C. Cavanagh")
Subject: year


From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


So if democracy is the exchange of ideas, then let the exchange
begin:

AOL user's:  You are bad.  Because you subsidize with your
dollars a service that

1.)  Allies with corporate entertainment conglomerates to fill the
     information superhighway with cargo-loads of hype.
2.)  Censors
     a.) Places restrictions on the topics you can discuss in its newsgroups
     b.) Establishes prohibitions on certain words in public chat rooms
     c.) Arbitrarily imposes its own names on newsgroups
3.)  Charges you an over-expensive hourly rate for a product
     which offers you less than a true internet provider.
4.)  Ignores your complaints to customer service.

    They have no interest in what you want, and certainly not
in letting you make it for yourself.  Apple II users, the
blind...fuck 'em.

I feel entitled to form an opinion that, as these concerns
don't trouble AOL users sufficiently to withdraw their
patronization, then, yes, I can as a rule dislike users
from AOL.

They still want to see it as being like TV.  500 channels.  They have
no idea the revolutionary possibilities that are being squelched.



From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

This reminded me of a quote from Roger Waters:

I used to think the world was flat,
Rarely threw my hat into the crowd.
Thought I had used up my quota of yearning.

Satellite buzzing through the endless night,
Exclusive to moon shots, world title fights.
Jesus Christ, imagine what it must be earning.
But oh, oh, oh, the tide is turning.

Now the satellite's confused
'Cos on Saturday night,
The airwaves were full of compassion and light,
And his silicon heart warmed to the sight
of a billion candles burning.

I'm not saying that the battle is won
But on Saturday night all those kids in the sun
Wrested technology's sword from the hands of the War Lords
Oh, oh, oh, the tide is turning
The tide is turning.

                  --Roger Waters, Radio Kaos (1987)



Subject: Are You Next?
From: [e-mail] (Joe Kohn)
Date: 13 Aug 1994 13:05:34 -0700

As a long time user of AOL, having been a beta tester for their system
back in 1989, I was pretty upset to learn that effective 11/1/94 that I
would no longer be able to access AOL.

Why?

In AOL's infinite wisdom, they have decided to shut out all folks who
access the system with Apple II computers.

Watch out. You could be next.

Do you really want to give your hard earned money to a company that may
decide next week or next year that *your* computer is obsolete? Think
about it...

And, then call up and cancel your account!

Who really needs AOL when you have the net?




<author unknown>

one more unrelated topic that you would be wise to
heed.  As a blind computer user I highly resent your lack of
concern over making your services accessible.  When this is as simple
as creating an alternate ASCII interface which would work with speech
output or a braille display there is no excuse whatsoever.


From: [e-mail]

gay and marginal communities are harassed and forced to stay within AOL's
preset boundaries for isolation of social groups, and frankly, i'm sick to
death of it.


Subject: aol's tos dept.
From: Foster Carr <[e-mail]>

I recently came back from a trip to the AIDS conference and found out that my
aol subscription had been terminated by the terms of service department.
I have faxed and sent e-mail to [e-mail] but they will not
acknowledge my communications nor have they reconnected my service.  The only
reason that the "customer service" department has been able to provide is a
message that was sent on the internet relating to a request for e-mail on a gay
island project which my lover is putting together.  I think that complaints
were lodged by discrimating people so they discontinued my service.  Is this a
form of censorship.  (The message was not advertising for investors of money,
only the sharing of ideas)  Can I take legal action to get my service restored?
Has anybody else been terminated for unjust reasons?


Subject: How AOL treats its temp employees
From: [e-mail] (Keith F. Lynch)
Date: 14 Aug 1994 09:52:56 -0400

My brother wrote the following, for me to post to the net.  I will
forward any replies back to him:


     On Tuesday, August 2, I was kicked out of my position as a temporary
employee at America Online.  I believe this action to have been thoroughly
arbitrary, high-handed and unfair.

[...]

When I showed up on Tuesday morning at 8 am, I was told that the Aspect
telephone system (through which the prospect recordings were accessed) was
down, and I was to wait until it came back up.  I had, when I was there on
Saturday, seen a copy of something called FLASHNews tacked onto a wall of
an unoccupied cubicle.  I had seen that it was a company newspaper or
"house organ" and since I considered myself at least by proxy an employee
of AOL, I had read it and found it interesting.  Now on Tuesday morning,
I saw while looking around the office a looseleaf binder in a prominent
position on a shelf sticking out into the aisle.  It had FLASHNews on the
spine.  I wanted to learn more about the company, so I started reading the
back issues.  At that time, my supervisor (a man) came up to me and told
me that the phone system would be down all day, and that I should go home
and come back the next day.  I put the binder back where I found it and left.
     When I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from
Manpower recorded about an hour after I left, asking me to call them.  When I
did so, I was informed that there had been a complaint from AOL that I was
observed going through someone's desk.  The dispatcher did not say who made
the complaint, but she referred to the complainant using the female pronoun,
implying it was not my supervisor.  The dispatcher then said that AOL did not
want me back and used the words "they were very upset."  I protested and
told her the facts I have related above, but she said that AOL owns the
building, and what they say goes.  [...]

        Wade S. Lynch
        1420 Cottage St. SW
        Vienna, VA 22180
--
Keith Lynch, [e-mail]

f p=2,3:2 s q=1 x "f f=3:2 q:f*f>p!'q  s q=p#f" w:q p,?$x\8+1*8




Subject: Tired of tring
From: [e-mail] (Bill Kossack)

OK, after a dozen tries to get the windows AOL software installed and
working and having to push the reset button a dozen times.  I give up.

I think I can find another service that has software that works, that has
an 800 help number that actually helps, that has something faster than
2400 baud dial in lines.

Whats the value of a free diskette that doesn't work?

G_ T_ H___ AOL




Subject: Re: AOL costs too much!!!
From: [e-mail] ()

Gopher Nut ([e-mail]) boasted:

: Well, let me educate everybody in AOL's Gopher then! <g>. I can log onto
: FTP servers (but you are correct, I can't get the files),

: Doug Litten
: AOL, Inc.

I tried AOL with the freebie offer.  The gopher was so weak it was a
joke!  I was used to a real gopher, with worldwide access, FTP, telnet
links and *fast*  AOL gopher was slower than molassas in winter.  It
didn't go anywhere really fun, other than a few government services as I
recall.  Why anyone would pay for this garbage escapes me.

John



Subject: Re: AOL is better than any of you can afford
From: [e-mail] (Doug Butler)

Scott P. Goodwin ([e-mail]) wrote:

: That's the problem, you're jealouse cause you can't afford to use it.

Oh, please. I can't afford a Tandy computer, either, but who wants one?
Anyone who chooses AOL over another provider is a moron. If it's your
only choice with a local dial-up, then it's better then nothing.

"Flame me...flame me, my friend"
                  -the late Curt Cobain,
                    after posting that his
                     own band sucks.

--
|*|  Doug Butler        \* *\     "If it's called a single,          \* * *|
|*|  [e-mail]      \* *\        how come it's got 2 sides?"     \* *|
|*|  [e-mail]     \* *\                - some moron            \*|






Subject: AOL bashers provide no substitute...
From: [e-mail]

In article <36es9h$[e-mail]>,
Fallguy454 <[e-mail]> wrote:
>I agree...I just minimize my costs

This month I spent a total of something just like 150 hours on the net.
I spent (divides quarterly costs for two signons, now three) roughly
$45, which gives me two dial-in and one telnet-only signon.

How much would it cost you to have, let's say, an AOL _and_ a Compuserve
(since you seem to like them) signon, and spend a total of 150 hours on?

> and maximize my profits for myself...A
>quick source of information is nice to have, when no tv tickertape,
>newspaper or other device is available.

Err...I don't know if you can get stock quotes on the 'net (seeing as how
I'm totally uninterested in stock prices, not having the money to put
into investments), but I don't have a problem finding newspapers, either.

>CIS is superior!

To AOL?

Uhhh...maybe. But maybe not. Either way, I think the Internet blows both
of them away.

I think extolling the virtues of Compuserve over AOL is much like
extolling the virtues of Inner City America over Sarajevo.

=========================================================================
e r i s @ i o . c o m  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  t i n a @ t e z c a t . c o m
zendiscordianwiccanchristianjewoynotreallychaosorderneutralitywhocares???
T h i n k   o f   i t   a s   e v o l u t i o n   i n   a c t i o n . . .
Evil is intent...Intent determines karma...Karma determines the cycle....
=========================================================================






Subject: Re: NETCOM SUCKS!!!!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Ed Breay)

In <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Vandal) writes:

>
>Chris Hanson ([e-mail]) wrote:
>: Obviously they are all getting ripped off at netcom, it costs way too much
>
>Costs way too much?  We get full net access for 17.50$ a month and you
>pay how much for your acct. and we get 5 megs of storage our own FTP
>sites and Fullt telnet, FTP (HAHAHA thats AOL's Dream), and IRC..Fuck
>AOL it sucks and it's a fucking Rip off

... and have any of you AOLers tried the new netcruiser????
The new SLIP connection interface from Netcom?  $20.00/month,
for 40 hrs a week. Email, FTP, TELNET, WWW, GOPHER, and much, much more.
It is Netcoms way of being AOLish.  It has the GUI of AOL for all of
you command-line-wanna-be's... but the power of Netcom.  Quit
paying up-the-butt for that rip-off service, and come on over to
Netcom.  Its the REAL thing!!!

Ed Breay
PEAK Technologies Corp.





Subject: Re: KILL ALL GEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Keith Dreibelbis)

        How silly of me to be against point-and-clunk interfaces!  (or
point-and-drool) These aol people are getting worse press than they
deserve.  Everybody complains about how immature they are, but...
well... maybe, uh..

In article <33c7lm$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Philly B 4)
writes:
> I just wanted to get your attention. SO whats up with all of you?
> If you want to talk about sex, e-mail me.
> Philly B 3 or 4
> America Online

        Sheesh.  Okay, forget what I was saying, then.  :)  They
shouldn't give kids under 10 Usenet access!

        It's actually kind of a shame.  There are plenty of aol people
with clue, but the people without any are the ones that really stand
out, and that everyone notices.  I am friends with some clueful
aol'ers.  So how old are you anyway, phillyb4??
        The modem lights are on, but there's no carrier.
        A one bit brain with a parity error.

(I considered setting followups to alt.dork and alt.horny, but I'm
feeling nice today.)

ObGeek: At 5:00am, I was feeling unproductive, so I popped an episode
of "Giant Robo" in the VCR and had a blast  :)



Dribbs
--
Keith Dreibelbis, [e-mail], box 0155, 861-4238 (Milhous)

Newsgroups: alt.geek,alt.aol-sucks
Followup-To: alt.geek,alt.aol-sucks,alt.newbie





Subject: PREEPARE TO BE Spreead apart BY THE Beeg Penis!!!  !! ! !!
From: [e-mail] (Kevin E Horton)

[ Article crossposted from alt.tasteless ]
[ Author was Miguels XX ]
[ Posted on 28 Aug 1994 00:22:05 -0400 ]

-----begin cross-posted text-----
HO HO Ho!!
Youse aRE Meesin with Teh WRONG DOOODE NOW MR FUnny GUY!!
MY GINat PEnis will BE Forced Into your TIGHt little asse ANSd I will Laff
AT your ATTEMPTS to SPquirm away!!
MITY MIGUELS WIIL DESTROYM YOUSE FAT SPOOGEHEEDS!!

Ha HAaaha!

Miguels XXX
-----end cross-posted text-----

And AOLer's wonder why people think they're such idiots.


--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
| \_ \_  \_\_\_  \_  \_  \_   \_  \_           B5(6) t w g+ s-- r-    |
|  \_\_   \_\_    \_\_    \_   \_\_\_   &h48,&h65,&h6C,&h6C,&h6F,&h21 |
|   \_ \_  \_\_\_  \_      \_   \_  \_   __ [e-mail] __ |
|     "It's 5:50 AM.  Do you know        \/__Can *YOU* write 8085__\/ |
|     where your stack pointer is?"        \/      assembly?     \/   |
-----------------------------------------------------------------------




Subject: So long AOL!!!!!!! YE FUCKING HAW :)
From: [e-mail] (Just AL 69)

I Just signed up for real internet access...
AOL is the biggest ripoff that I have ever had the mispleasure to be
victimized by.
They have piss-poor internet access
They only support 9600 Baud
They are the biggest bunch of self congradulating (sp?) assholes (steve
case etc.) I have ever had to deal with.  I mean do I really need to read
letters from Mr Case telling me how well his service is doing.  The
service is not doing well.  They harp on their internet access and THEY
DONT GIVE YOU SHIT!!!!!!!!!  USENET AND EMAIL DOES NOT INTERNET ACCESS
MAKE!!!! I WANT IT ALL!!!!

To all the people at AOL who keep pulling off this scam I have one thing
to say:
BITE ME YOU FRADULENT ASSHOLES!!!!!!

Just Al (A soon to be former AOL user)




Subject: So long AOL!!!!!!! YE FUCKING HAW :)
From [e-mail] (David Cassel)

[...]

                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |             I, Al, in a mere con        |
                          -----------------------------------------




Subject: Help! Lost mail?
Date: 29 Sep 1994 15:24 CDT
Help! I was fortunate enough to leave AOL a couple of years ago,
but, I left my boyfriend there! :)  We communicate almost daily
via internet mail now, but there's a problem!!! Everything that
he has sent me the last few days is lost! Right, it never reached
me, and it was never returned to him.  What is the problem?
(Other than "AOL sucks" that is...) Any ideas on if there is a
problem with the AOL-internet connection or mail system? Help,

I want my mail back!

Thanks for ideas and especially solutions!

KJ
[e-mail]




Subject: aol sucks hard!
From: [e-mail] (Cezanne Ryerson)

I can't believe how anyone can tolerate such a slow, mimicking, basically
for the lonely, sex-starved, service. Plus they charge you an arm and a
leg for the time you spend waiting for the little black and white beach
ball to stop rotating. AAAAAGGGHHHH! never again. I've used my ten free
hours twice and that's enough for me!




Subject: Gosh, it really does suck!
From: [e-mail] (Jack A. Grey)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 1994 06:10:57 GMT

I finally got around to trying out the AOL '10 free hours' diskette I
received in the mail.

I had the Weendoze AOL client puke up on me repeatedly, so I DL'd their
1.5 version. This cleared up the client problems, but...

o       The navigation is tediously slow, even at 9600 baud.

o       The 32K News document limit no longer causes a GPF, you simply
        cannot capture a whole document to a file.

o       The Windows interface is very mousey, key strokes ( e.g. PageDown )
        often have no effect.

So, I DL'd the DOS 1.6 client software. The installation caused a disallowed
memory access in the OS/2 DOS VDM I was running it in, so that was all she
wrote. Never could get it to work. ( There have been very few Windows
programs and only one DOS program ( oops, now two ) I have been unable to
use in a VDM ).

I'm kinda spoiled anyway, I'm getting unlimited Internet access ( News, WWW,
telnet, ftp, SLIP, assorted shell options, etc. ) for a flat $18 a month,
so I can't imagine using AOL as an alternative. I guess if AOL is all one
has available or one doesn't know any better, it might seem great...

Someone really ought to take the time to publish the list of Internet
service providers to the AOL-related Usenet groups, it would be doing
current AOL subscribers a BIG favor, as well as helping local service
providers who in my mind deserve the business far more than AOL.

Just my two cents worth...


--


+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Microsoft - Where Quality is Job # 1.1

+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+







Subject: AOL's services
From: [e-mail] (Pat Delaney)


I can't even believe that people would pay money to be on a service like AOL.
It's useless and doesn't even have any net functions.. Someone from AOL
please tell me why you joined...??

-Pat Delaney-
<<[e-mail]>>




From: [e-mail] (John Williams)

        As long as everybody else is in bitch mode, I thought I'd add my
$0.02 worth.  Has anybody ever tried to get the aol postmaster to answer
anything.  I once had a question for the postmaster about a subscriber
who I thought had bilked me out of some money (trading on
rec.games.deckmester).  It turns out that this was not the case, but over
a month after the whole thing was resolved, I got a reply from the
postmaster containing a nice form letter, and the address of the person I
was trying to contact (I already had it).  None of the questions I had
asked (if person still has account, if there were other compliants, etc.)
were answered in the slightest.  I was a bit peeved, to say the least.
Anyway, now that I've got it out of my system, I feel better.  Thanx.

--
John Williams                   |       Got mole problems?
[e-mail]             |        Call Avagadro, 602-1023.






Subject: Fun with Math
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Though AOL has only had their Usenet access for a couple of months, they're
already posting more articles from that site than any other, surpassing even
Netcom.  In the last two weeks, they posted 40,986 articles.  That's 35813
kilobytes of articles in two weeks.  [Figures from the Usenet statistics
newsgroup.]

Fun with math:
The Kentucky math professor moderating the group has calculated the cost per
site of Usenet articles.  He defines an article's cost per site as "the cost
of sending it over a Trailblazer to UUNET, using the 800 number and Night
rates. (1000 characters per second and $9.50 per hour)  I.e .264 cents per
kilobyte."

So using these numbers from the last two weeks:

   Articles     Kilobytes
    40986       35813.8

the cost of transmitting all AOL's articles to any site would be

35813 x .264 = $9454.8432

Well, that doesn't seem so high.  And each year, that comes out to:

9454 x 26 = $245,804

Per site.  But there 58402 sites around the world.  If each of them incurs
this cost, then the final number would be:

58402 x 245,804 = $14,355,445,208.00

If these numbers are correct, the worldwide cost of transmitting all the
articles from AOL over one year would be 14 billion dollars.

Ironically, the Usenet statistics newsgroup also shows that 5% of AOL's
articles were going to the alt.binaries.pictures.* groups.  These are the
most popular newsgroups, both by kilobytes and number of articles posted--
presumably, these newsgroups are read more than any others on Usenet.  And
since AOL-er's can't uudecode binaries or post anything larger than 27K,
most of those articles must've been chatter (e.g., newbie messages saying
"Hey!  That doesn't look like a blonde!")


   Articles     Kilobytes
    40986       35813.8


35813.8 x .05 = 1790.69 kilobytes just to alt.binaries.pictures.* groups

1790.69 x .264 = $472.74 "cost per site" every two weeks

472.74 x 26 =  12291.30 "cost per site" every year.

Multiplied by the number of sites:

12291.30 x 58402 = $717,836,278.34

Over 700 million dollars to transmit AOL messages to alt.binaries.pictures.*
to all sites for a year.





Subject: Observation...
From: [e-mail] (Alex Korobka)

Here's the example of idiotic "ME TOO!!" thread. I don't remember when it was
started and I began tracking it about 1 month ago. Every 3-4 days messages
like "There's NO such list!" were posted but...

Anyway there're 40 messages and 21 of them from AOL people. Go figure...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Markodog)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.supermodels
Subject: Re: cindy nude

In article <2u698v$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Krzysztof
Worytkiewicz) writes:

Mailing list for nude Cindy Crawfords!!


I would love that list!!!!!!!!!!


From: [e-mail] (IneedCELEB)
Subject: Re: cindy nude

In article <2u698v$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Krzysztof
Worytkiewicz) writes:

|> : Mailing list for nude cindy crawfords?
|>
|> : Heck, put me on!
|>
|> Sounds good to me.  Put me on that list too.
|>
|> -Rob
|>
I>cool, I'm on !
I>
I>Chris

put me on that list

Ineed


From: [e-mail] (Cyrus Shafai)
Subject: Re: Mailing list for Cindy Crawford

Me too.



From: [e-mail] (SETTLER)
Subject: cindy nude

count me in.


From: [e-mail] (TRAVIS FITCH)
Subject: Re: Mailing list for Cindy Crawford

Include me in as well


From: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: cindy nude

me too please   :)



From: [e-mail] (Mike2909)
Subject: RE: Cindy Nude

Me Too



From: [e-mail] (Infamous Scarface)
Subject: Re: cindy nude

me too please   :)


From: [e-mail] (TARUNC)
Subject: Cindy's Mailing List.

If there is one then I wanna be on it.!


From: [e-mail] (student)
Subject: Re: Mailing list for Cindy Crawford

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (DWC)
wrote:

> well, if you are going to be putting names on a mailing list - then please
> add mine...  many thanks...

I'm not sure what this is about, but if there is a Cindy mailing list, add
me to it, please.



From: [e-mail] (CrossFlame)
Subject: Re: cindy nude

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Billy
Mccage) writes:

I'm All for it.... [e-mail]


From: [e-mail] (Mr Benjamin PunTak Li)
Subject: Re: Mailing list for Cindy Crawford

Me too!





From: [e-mail]
[alt.binaries.pictures.erotica]

CMHW ([e-mail]) wrote:
>In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (PixMan) writes:

>what do you do with all this junk? how do you get the picture?

1. Missing quote
2. Text on a binaries group
3. "How do I view these funny characters?"

That's three for three, no small beans considering it was a one-line
post. The question I have, is how many points is this worth? Does anyone
(Spatch?) have some kind of grading system that can be used? Just forward
your favorite AOL posts, tally up the clueless points, and keep a running
total. Declare a winner in December and the grand prize is a date with
Steve "He's so dreamy!" Case.


     (Miss)          |"As I wander through the catacombs, who can say
[e-mail] | which is the more terrifying sight: the emptied
[e-mail]   skulls or the withered hearts?" - Balzac (on AOL)





Subject: Re: Apple CD-ROM drive for sale (CD300)
From: [e-mail] (Randy Shackelford)
Date: Thu, 8 Sep 1994 05:19:15 GMT


In article <34ll09$[e-mail]>, RoyK213 <[e-mail]>
wrote:
>In article <34l87i$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Tiggy)
>writes:
>
>Is this external or internal CD Drive.  How long have you had it.  Also,
>do you have all the manuals and orginal box.  What state will you be
>shipping this from?  Also, is COD acceptable.

Cool now do we not only have AOLers posting followups to forsale articles
posted from other sites instead of sending email replies, they're doing it
instead of sending local (and speedy) email on site.
Also is the AOL newsreader so brain dead that it puts an attribution line in
the followup but nukes the text, or do AOL posters mindlessly nuke the text?
--
Randy Shackelford                                Huh huh, that was cool.
[e-mail]






America Online Message of the Day

When you respond to a USENET newsgroups message, a line of text (called the
"attribution") is automatically inserted at the top of your reply. This line
identifies the article to which you are replying.

It is helpful to readers following the thread of messages to include at least
a portion of the article to which you are replying in your follow-up post. To
do this, you can use the Copy/Paste functions of your America Online software
to bring text from the original message into your reply (called a "follow-up"
in USENET terminology). You should be careful to only include RELEVANT text
in your follow-up.

When you include text from a prior article, you need to "quote" the text.
Although a convention for doing this has grown up on America Online, many
USENET regulars will not understand the << >> form used here. Instead, the
USENET convention is to prefix each line of the quoted text as follows:

> This is
> quoted
> text.

While we're working on a method to automate quoted text, for the time being
you will need to manually quote text.

IMPORTANT: If you are NOT going to include any quoted text, you need to
REMOVE the attribution line from your follow-up post.








Subject: WAS Re: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who?)
From: [e-mail] (Ficus Kirkpatrick)
Date: 20 Aug 1994 02:00:41 -0700

:  *************************************************************************
: *  Joseph Betz ([e-mail])  *  If stupidity was gold, AOL  *
: *     -or-     ([e-mail])    *  would be Fort Knox          *
:  *************************************************************************
 Referring to this-------------------------------------^

        No, Fort Knox keeps its gold locked away. AOL, however, lets its
stupidity run rampant.
                        -f
--




Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

In article <[e-mail]>
well, im about to  do something i know i'll regret later but...
sign me up

From: [e-mail] (David Starr)
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

[e-mail] wrote:
: In article <[e-mail]>
: well, im about to  do something i know i'll regret later but...
: sign me up


HELLOOOO!   (as Biff hits you over the head!)
Dont you know not to respond to this crap?
They are all full of shit - dont fuel them.    Thanks!

--


From: Richard Sanders <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

please send me a list, thanks
[e-mail]



From: [e-mail] (Michael Simon Feinberg)
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #


Look at this idiot...

Richard Sanders ([e-mail]) wrote:
: please send me a list, thanks
: [e-mail]



From: [e-mail] (Berg Oswell)
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

Michael Simon Feinberg ([e-mail]) wrote:

: Look at this idiot...

: Richard Sanders ([e-mail]) wrote:
: : please send me a list, thanks
: : [e-mail]

        As P.T. Barnum once said, there is a sucker born every minute...



From: JAMES O SMITH <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

please add me

From: [e-mail]
Subject: RE: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #


[e-mail] wrote:

Michael Simon Feinberg ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Look at this idiot...

: Richard Sanders ([e-mail]) wrote:
: : please send me a list, thanks
: : [e-mail]


        As P.T. Barnum once said, there is a sucker born every minute...

And soon as they are born they shuffle off to the monopolized,
overcommercialized monopolies. Namely AOL and DELPHI.

"please add me to the list!
espekiallie the nekid little boy picture list!
PLEASE send it to [e-mail]"


From: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: # Gif/FTP XXX Site List #

And me please.
Thanx





Subject: i hate aol
From: [e-mail]

I hate AOL...Too expensive, not enough internet access, what a
commercialized down your throat place, very evil, and the AOL thought
police...watch out

--
Yarbles!!!
Great bolshy yarblockos to thee and thine!!!





Date: 28 Sep 1994 19:30:06
Subject: RED DWARF "DISCUSSION" on AOL
From: [e-mail] (BCDigest1)

Its non-existent! I can't find it anywhere! Navigation should be easier on
this thing.





Subject: Re: AOL... (from a user)
From: [e-mail] (Grant Szabo)

In article <34r317$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (ZFried) writes:
>From: [e-mail] (ZFried)
>Subject: AOL... (from a user)
>Date: 9 Sep 1994 21:44:07 -0400

>All right, AOL is a corporate piece of shit,
Well said, by an AOL user no less.




--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 __.                         'If a man approaches you with the obvious
(__ _. _.|_  _.          intention of doing you good, RUN for your life!'
.__)/_(_][_)(_) @mcs.com








[e-mail]                                   drdos at Odyssey Online

I dunno all I use the 10hr free things for is to leech software updates
to some of the commerical stuff I have...very easy way :)  Thanks again
AOL, even tho I hate the rest of the service.










Subject: How to "finger" users of AOL?
[e-mail] (Dale Ott)

Somebody ask how to finger users of AOL??   below are the
instructions....


                _
               / \
              |\_/|
              |---|
              |   |
              |   |
            _ |=-=| _
        _  / \|   |/ \
       / \|   |   |   ||\
      |   |   |   |   | \>
      |   |   |   |   |   \
      | -   -   -   - |)   )
      |                   /
       \                 /
        \               /
         \             /
          \           /
           |         |
           |         |












Subject: How to "finger" users of AOL?
From: [e-mail]

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Gary Barr
ett) writes:

>The complainers about netiquette?  Mostly those who really haven't
>net.matured yet.

So I guess you're saying that bitching about AOL dipshits asking about porno
ftp sites in rec.video is a sign of immaturity. Or maybe that
complaining about a company pushing its herbal tea diet plan in 60 newsgroups
is something that only newbies do.

Come on sonnyboy, show a little netiquette and make sure you're not in the
middle of a 3 day crack binge when you decide to post here.


--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^









Subject: How to "finger" users of AOL?
From :[e-mail] () at Illuminati Online

In article <3dnnhk$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Seth Breidbart) wrote
:

> In article <3dngka$[e-mail]>, Tom Finley <[e-mail]> wrote:
> >Seth Breidbart ([e-mail]) wrote:
> >: > AOL sacrifices *nothing* while it takes so much.
> >
> >: Many .edu's and .com's don't provide anon ftp sites, either, yet they
> >: have users who get stuff from other sites.  Why single out AOL (just
> >: because they're biggest?  Then will you go after everyone else next?)
> >
> >     Other sites can and do give files to the FTP sites, whereas AOL
> >does not.  Most sites actually _do_ provide anonymous FTP.
>
> Most sites do _not_ provide anonymous FTP.  Of course, how you define

Really?  I can't remember ever finding a site that didn't accept my anon
FTP connection.  I admit, I'm not a big file leech, but I do occasionally
look for a file and have never had any problems.  Actually...I remember one...
amd.com (Advanced Micro Devices), which I couldn't log in for anon FTP
access...I wanted to see if they had any info on the AMD 486/66 chip I use.

In fact, I just tried five *.edu sites at random, using ftp.school.edu.  All
five, ftp.utexas.edu, ftp.tamu.edu, ftp.utdallas.edu, ftp.stanford.edu, and
ftp.umass.edu, allowed anonymous FTP.  100% hit rate on those five.  I also
tried five *.com sites: ftp.io.com, ftp.bga.com, ftp.freeside.com,
ftp.zilker.net, and ftp.eden.com (all local providers), and all allowed
anonymous login.  All offered things that were useful to the net, and not
just themselves.

> "sites" might make a difference.  I work for a company that has
> several thousand sites (in the sense of FQDNs), yet _none_ has
> anonymous ftp.

I may have caused some confusion by using the word 'sites' loosely.  Okay, how
many *.edu domains do you know of without anonymous FTP access?  I don't mean
just one particular host in the domain, but the entire domain itself.  Tough
question, since you have to know and try all machines, but definitely do-able.
> >: If _your site_ has a problem with AOL as a moocher, you can throw it
> >: off.  Why should everybody else do that just because you want them to?
> >     He already said why...
>
> Oh, he doesn't think people from AOL contribute enough, so people from
> AOL shouldn't be allowed to connect?

People from AOL *can't* contribute anything through FTP, even if they want to.
In addition, their site doesn't offer the rest of us anything.  To answer
your question though, no, I don't think people should allow incoming FTP
connections from AOL.  Why not?  They have no interest in improving the Net
or giving anything back, they just want to use the Net to make money.  And
they do - if just one AOLer uses FTP 1 hour a week (including download time),
AOL gets $14.  Multiply that by the thousands of FTP processes AOL users run
every day and you're talking a LOT of money.  But if they can't connect, AOL
loses the money that they would've gained in the time the user spent leeching.
Multiply that by dozens of popular sites and they start losing quite a bit.
Maybe then they'll offer more than the shitty AOL software...although it is
totally unrealistic to believe that they will.  If they did, people wouldn't
have to pay to download the shit which goes against AOL's whole program -
provide as little as you can, and make as much money as you can, without
regard to customs, traditions, other people, and fairness.

I'm not saying it's evil to make money off the Net either.  If you can make
a profit, more power to you.  But give something back to the Net in exchange
for that profit.  My provider has given plenty - it offers anonymous FTP to
everyone on the Net, with good software and the ability for any Illuminati
user to start an FTP directory for free.  The founder of the service, Steve
Jackson, had a large part in starting the EFF, and helps run EFF-Austin.  I
can log in and start my own www immediately, and if I don't know how, I can
use the software that the staff at Illuminati wrote for creating web pages.
When Aerosmith did their Internet appearance, Illuminati Online donated and
configured our MUD server (or whatever it's called, I don't ever use it) for
the use of the Net - from any machine anywhere.  They run a WWW setup that is
beneficial to everyone on the Net, and is not the typical 'info about our
service' thing that is so common on the Net.  They also put effort into user
verification and education - so the rest of the Net doesn't have to deal with
'MAKE.MONEY.FAST' originating from Illuminati all the time.  If you do spam
with a commercial ad, you lose your account immediately.  IO also runs an
excellent gopher server, which takes time and effort.

All this and a lot more from a provider that's barely over a year old - and
a helluva lot smaller than AOL.

> >: >Maybe, but the difference is that the majority of *.edu sites offer anonym
ous
> >: >FTP service.
> >: Majority?  I doubt it.
> >     *nods head* I've yet to find an .edu site that doesn't have an
> >anonymous FTP option, other than three I've found.  That's more than
> >the hundred or so I've tried.
>
> Do you try getting anonymous ftp from random *.edu sites, or do you
> have some reason for connecting to those you do?  If the latter, your
> sample is so biased that it's meaningless.  (If the former, you're

See above.  I connected to random *.edu sites that responded to an ftp.*.edu
request.  ALL offered anonymous login, and all had software that was useful
to everyone, instead of just their users.  I did the same thing with *.com
sites.  I don't consider it particularly biased either - I placed ftp in
front of five domains I know of - all five resulted in a connect.  Obviously,
it's a small sample, but I don't have time to try site after site...

> just crazy.)
>
> >: >  So do most *.com sites,
> >: You're definitely wrong there.
> >     No, he's right.
>
> Have you counted?

See above.

> >: They also have far more users.  Perhaps if they split into 100
> >: subdomains you'd be happier, because each subdomain would no longer be
> >: much bigger than most .edu sites?
> >     This is based on the assumption that most sites don't allow
> >anonymous FTP.  Since that was based on a guess, and it is wrong...
>
> So you would also ban people from other sites that don't offer
> anonymous ftp from access?

Not a small site who provides access to employees or a small *.com site.
Also not *.edu sites they're not used for profit.  But a huge company who
fucks the Net up big time (IMO, and I suspect in the opinion of most people
who got to see the before and after stages of the Net when AOL came along),
and makes so much money off the Net has an obligation to provide something
in return (IMO).

Unless, of course, they have no respect for the Net community...





Subject: Re: How to "finger" users of AOL?
From: [e-mail] (Temporarily Spatch County)

In article <[e-mail]>, Mike Ward <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
>And quite frankly, judging from Mr. Spatch's previous messages about AOL, he's
>very much in the community of folks who just like toasting AOL because it's
>there.  I was pointing out to him that the ability of AOL members to use
>finger through a non-publicized gateway wasn't "AOL taking from the net" -
>because AOL *itself* doesn't even know about it.  (i.e. - it wasn't AOL
>saying "Oh, boy!  Let's let them finger out and not take finger requests
>in! Hoho!")  And that all of the major commercial networks generally keep
>their internal user info to themselves.  He wasn't looking to flame commercial
>services that don't "give back to the net" (what does that mean?  FTP servers?
> Web sites?  E-Mail reflectors?), he was looking to flame AOL.  He's more than
>welcome to correct my assumption.

I shall.  First, I should apologize for the terse "AOL taking and not giving"
line that sparked this discussion... given the context Mike seems to see it
in, it does seem like I am exclusively flaming AOL for the sake of flaming
AOL.  However, in this case, even with such a newsgroup as alt.aol-sucks,
it's not necessarily true.

AOL (as well as the other larger commercial providers out there, you're
right) have a history of taking and not giving.  AOLers can only get
files via ftp, not put their own in (which, in a way, is somewhat of
a Good Idea, given the load some machines take and the rate at which
commercial advertisements seem sometimes to come from a commercial provider
such as AOL, but the opportunity should be THERE, just as the opportunity
is ripe for someone at unicorn.dorm.umd.edu to put MAKE.MONEY.FAST in
wuarchive's incoming directory.) ... AOL, to the best of my knowledge, does
not support web sites for their users, and the only thing you'll find
on ftp.aol.com is their own waol communications software.  Liza Daly is
correct, the Internet is based primarily on the exchange of information,
and with AOL, P* and CIS, sometimes it seems this flow of information
is only one-way.

I cannot flame for flaming's sake.  I flame AOL and the like for their
ethics regarding the Internet's resources -- luring those unfamiliar with
computers into the "Easy-To-Use InfoHighway" (Steve Case has admitted that
he is capitalizing on the hype, that the consumers say "Oh, I guess I need
this Internet thing") ... I detest America Online's claims of giving you
the Internet when in fact they only provide minimal access to only a few
key elements.  I detest America Online for their practice of practically
dumping new users onto the Usenet without in-depth lessons in "netiquette"
and how to actually use the newsreader ... I detest them for offering such
poor technical service ("Call the Internet Service line, " one caller to
AOL's technical hotline was told in regards to a question about Usenet)
and their poor-quality applications.  These guys are in it for the money,
not for providing people with Internet access.  They claim their GUI
is "state-of-the-art" ... I wish it'd let me connect sometime so I can
see it for myself.  Their newsreader is so poor it makes inews seem like
a "killer app".

Never before have so many been promised so much only to receive so little
in return (and get billed so obscenely.)

AOL's not the only one doing this - Prodigy, Compuserve, Delphi, and, to a
lesser extent, Netcom are all guilty of such practices.  Although Delphi and
Netcom strive to give their users more access to the Internet, the others
have this "Oh yeah, let's give you telnet or something" attitude, and
bill you exorbitantly for it.  While I'm not totally subscribed to the
"Information Must Be Free" point of view, at least it should be affordable,
dammit.

Yes, for some people AOL is the only choice - but it SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE.


- spatch, promising never again to use the phrase "killer app" upon pain
        of death -

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]









AMERICA ONLINE SWEATSHIRTS!

Be the first on your block to own the cool America Online sweatshirt!  The
front of the shirt sports a bright 6-color "pop art" design of the America
Online logo in 9 square panels.  It's bright, it's cool, and it shouts to the
world your loyalty to America Online!

Our 9-ounce, Lee sweatshirts are available in either light gray or white and
in Large, XL, and XXL for $22.95 each plus $3.00 shipping and handling.

Order today -- they won't last long!









From:  [e-mail] (David Cassel)

This is hysterical.  Reading some of the subject headers for the complaints
in AOL's Usenet area gives a good overall picture of the access AOL offers.

Each of these is a header from a note in AOL's Usenet complaint area.

Newsgroups down?
It's not letting me read my unread messages
No unread messages when there are over 1,000

Reading old messages
Read messages re-appear
Newsgroups aren't being updated regularly

Add button to search subjects
Add button to go to bottom of newsgroup
Whats with the teeny tiny type?

"Update all as read" button
When will "more" be fixed?
Has AOL ever heard of 'tin' ?

Could not go thru 11,987 mail messages
PUT RECENT MESSAGES ON TOP, DWEEB
Whaddya got against Apple Human Interface?

Newsgroup quotations.
re:  Quoting
Ah come on fix the position for the columns of numbers

What the Heck??!!
Some groups disappering.
Messages in alt.privacy disappearing

Newsgroup suggestion box
Suggestion box broken
Does the suggestion box ever work?

Please respond to this!
Is anybody listening?
I wonder if anyone reads these?

Important:  Please read and respond
GOPHER ERRORS--FIX THEM NOW
GIFs crash download from net

AOL crashes newsgroups
General Protection Fault?
Binaries, dammit!

FIX HANGING
I keep getting the same message of the day, day after day
Message of the Day contains typo's

FoxPro newsgroup CORRUPT
Test area bug
Give me my window back!

No master newsgroup list.
"You have been disconnect from Internet newsgroup"
Can't exit from newsgroup

Large posts cut off
Truncated messages.
Can't you guys get a release out now?

Can't read any newsgroups with new 1.5 version.
All of my newsgroups are gone
All my newsgroups are gone too.

New windows version did not fix bug
Very annoyed
Losing ground to Delphi




From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Those were just subject heads.

Select quotes from the AOL Usenet complaint area.

"After posting a notice, some people will reply to my address and it gets
deflected to other people's accounts; seemingly anywhere."

"I feel AOL has gone from misleading people to outright lying."

"Is this the time for the company annual vacation, a strike of some kind, or
have we got you guys stumped?"

"I feel like a beta tester."

And, of course, this classic piece of AOL wisdom.

"Satan is cool.  There are 666 messages in this newsgroup.  Now there's 667."





Subject: Re: how fast is email from AOL?
From: [e-mail] (Dan Elsila)

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
(Christian Restifo) says:
>
>>Well, what to make of this? I got a bunch of email from folks telling me
>>AOL is working just fine (thanks everyone) and I get this, saying AOL is
>>a teetering jalopy.

>(I was surprised when a well-informed friend told me there's a good, serious
>group about aol called aol-sucks...) Morgan
>
>i'm not giving it a bonk for fun. my friend sent me more mail today saying
>she's having problems with her mail.
>Christian M. Restifo

Think of it this way - even the information superhighway needs a breakdown
lane.

(former AOL-charter-member)
Dan









Subject: I like lemon ade
From: [e-mail] (John Gruber)
Date: 9 Aug 1994 02:53:11 -0400

Hi. My name is Joe Aoluser, and I just found usenet.:) That was a smiley, so
you should laugh.

Do you know why my posts get screwed up when formatted on INTERnet
newsgroups? Someone

told me to write only 80 columns. What's that?

I've been drinking -- can they get me for DUI because I'm on the information
highway

drunk? Will they take my license?

-- Joe Aoluser






From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

If there is an information superhighway, AOL's spur is a dirt road plastered
with billboards.

[...]







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Larry4882 writes:

>I Suppose if you don't know how to rebuild an engine you should not be
>allowd to drive a car.


No, but you shouldn't be allowed to drive a car if you don't know how
to...drive a car.

Translated for the AOL user:

You hav to no how to driv car 2
driv >car



                              -----------------------------------------
      [e-mail]       |     Looting is the natural response to    |
     man of 1,000 sigs      |          the society of abundance.        |
                              -----------------------------------------





Subject: Shut up, Fin-face
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

> Wow!  You're on compuServe?  i herd they pay people $9.60/hour to read
> Usenet on their defective newsreaders.  that's kool!

This reminds me of a great quote Andrew Kantor had about why posts from
America Online tend to be consistently bad:


"They must pay to think; the more they think about what they
write, the more it costs."






Subject: Re: aol vs. irc
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


    "Time magazine science writer Michael Lemonick tells how decades of bad
     breeding are crippling purebread dogs."

Sounds exciting, huh?  That was AOL's last plug, shown to all users logging
off Monday night.

They misspelled "purebred."


Bob Ward ([e-mail]) wrote:
: AMERICA ONLINE NEWSGROUP TERMS OF SERVICE

: Last updated on 1 September 1994

: NEWSGROUPS TERMS OF SERVICE VIOLATIONS
: Participating successfully in Newsgroups is a matter of common sense and
: common courtesy. Most AOL members are able to use their own sense of what
: is appropriate to guide their behavior.  There will, however, always be
: innocent, inadvertant postings...
            ^^^^^^^^^^^

If they're not going to hire spatch to pump up their promotional
literature, they could at least hire a proof-reader!

(That was my favorite user complaint in AOL's "Internet Access" area.
"Message of the Day contains typo's!!!")




<author unknown>

[e-mail]  Lisa Loeb is gorgeous!!! at KAIWAN Internet (310/527-42
     ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^
> I've been using 1.5 for about a week now with no problems.

But you still post to Usenet from a different service provider.

> I especially like how I can view gifs as they're are downloading.

They're are downloading real good, is they?






From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

[e-mail] (cute name) writes:

>People are flaming AOLers for makeing stupid post and mistakes,
                               ^^^^^^^          ?

>many freashmen get an account at there school giving them there
      ^^^^^^^^^                   ^^^^^                    ^^^^^
>first use of the net, but people don't flame them (usually) they will
>usually send suggestions and comments to help them in the future.
                                                                     ?
>We are not idiots.

You are if you use AOL, bryanp3539.  Destin2157 has a spell-checker.




Subject: AOL bashers provide no substitute....
From: [e-mail] (Bob Trieger)

In article <36cqd4$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
(Ronald M. Hopkins-Lutz) writes:
> Actually there are some very good reasons to use AOL. Internet access
> is not really very important among them. I also use CI$ and have
> accounts on two net providers. I have never found ftp, telnet, or irc
> to be worth much to *me*. I am perfectly happy to use gopher, WWW,
> and wais. I frequent the Usenet and use e-mail a lot.

Summary:

 - Internet access is unimportant.
 - He makes extensive use of netmail, usenet, gopher, WWW, and wais.

Does this seem in the least bit contradictory?

What an idiot.

> Mostly I do from my

> local FreeNet. I find that support forums on AOL tend to respond
> quicker and better than the same ones on CI$.

Respond with what? "Uhh, i duno how to make an XY plot, but I hear that there
is a good gif site at 127.0.0.1..."

> If you're not
> online 40 hours a month AOL provides a nice mix of services.

If you don't use the service, AOL is a good service.

> I've been
> on CI$ a total of about 2 hours since last fall, so I admit I don't
> know what net access they offer, but thier cost is so excessive I
> don't want to bother finding out.

Their cost is higher because their services are better. I view them as a
research tool, not the idiocy and entertainment center AOL proclaims itself
to be.


                  __________
 --               \        /
Bob Trieger         \    /
[e-mail]    \/

"If you finger me, may I suggest washing your hands afterwards?"





From: [e-mail]

: > (CARLA00001) writes:

: >>      Carla Regon - an AOL user and proud of it


PROUD of being shamelessly ripped off by AOL to the tune of $3.50 per hour?



From: [e-mail]  (SuprAndrew)
Subject: This Newsgroup Part 1

  You guys are such fucking loosers.  You have nothing better to do with
your time then flame a group of people for something a minority of them
do.  So a FEW of them act puritanical, so a FEW of them don't know shit
about what they are doing here and how to act, so a FEW screw up.  You
guys make me feel like you are some fucking exclusive club, "how dare some
newbies actually SHOW UP!  How shocking!"  Yeah, well, we're here, and
your jealously at us having a user interface that wasn't designed prior to
the pyramids makes me kind of sick.
    An exclusive club, a fraternity hazing for freshmen.  I encounter
discrimination wherever I go. I've been put on kill lists, been flamed
just for the last 7 characters at the end of my address, encountered all
the bullshit you guys put me through.  I have better things to say than
more than a few groups around here, but I'm shrugged off because I use
America Online.  The fact is when I started using AOL, at its beginning, I
was ten fucking years old!  I had exactly five months of computer
experience.  If I, a little kid, was forced up against twenty commands to
send a piece of E-mail, I wouldn't touch the keys for another five years,
maybe more!  Instead, I had to endure a couple mouse clicks.  I haven't
left AOL because I had no interest in the Internet.  Now that they are
allowing me access to Usenet, I decided, why go through all these pdial
lists and crap if they let me use this already.  So, I use it, AFTER
reading three guides on nettiquite (sp?), and watching my mouth.  I read
the FAQ files, I follow the discussions and subjects.  Instead of mindless
flames, gut adolecent reactions shameful for even adolecencts (just simply
pathetic from adults), why don't the members of the exclusive club get
their fingers from out of their assholes and type up something on how we
SHOULD act.  E-mail [e-mail], and inform me of what I, and all
us aol people, and newbies in general, can do.

<Continued on next post>



Subject: This Newsgroup Part 2
From: [e-mail] (SuprAndrew)

<Conitinued from Previous Post>
 Finally, how, may, I ask, would you feel if I dumped you in the middle of
Zimbabwe, or Kabul, Afganistan, or even someplace like Germany or Mexico?
You would be astounded by the differance of size and the cultures of
people.  This is called culture shock.  And, likely as not, no matter how
many travel magazines and Fodor's guides you read, you are bound to make
mistakes. Now, I 'll admit, some AOL users didn't read their Fodor's
guides, but many, if not most, did.  Now imagine the good people of
Zimbabwe or Kabul or Germany or Mexico suddenly hate you because you are
from a certain country  or your airplane had beverage service, a
pressurized cabin and actual CHAIRS, and, worse of all, someone ELSE flew
it!  You just sat there and the pilot flew, took care of errors, and
watched all the little dials.  You are refused service at all resteraunts
and hotels, you are ignored at all the tourist attractions, because you
hail from your country and flew in that plane.
     My analogy is accurate.  For those of you who cannot figure it out,
here is the different parts:

analogy: : : : : : : : Translation

  Analogy::::::::Translation

Zimbabwe, et al: Internet
Fodor's Guides: Books on Internet
Tourists, New Neighbors: Newbies
Plane: Service Provider
Pressurized Cabin, }
Chairs             }GUI
Beverage Service   }
Someone else flew the plane: You don't do the actual work of programming,
etc.

(I prefered this analogy to the George Wallace/KKK one)

    Just because we don't fly our own planes doesn't mean we can't
contribute to the country.  Give us a chance.  Your exclusive club status
is no longer what it was.  The publicity, the "Information SuperHighway"
shit, the Internet on the cover of "Time" for the umpteenth time.  Give it
a rest, and just accept the fact that the times are a changing.  Clinging
to the old ways is not what the Internet is about.  It's about the free
exchange of ideas, and, although you are entitled to your own opinion, I
am just as entitled to tell you its wrong and suggest an alternative.
This "futuristic system" has alot of the past, a nasty past of hate,
bigotry and exclusivism.  Let's make sure the Internet and Usenet are the
wave of the future, not the backwash of the past.

[e-mail] (The Super Andrew).  Note the 1-line signature.



Subject: Re: This Newsgroup, 1
From: [e-mail] (Cove)

SuprAndrew ([e-mail]) wrote:

:             If I, a little kid, was forced up against twenty commands to
: send a piece of E-mail, I wouldn't touch the keys for another five years,
: maybe more!

 Of course you wouldn't... If I came equipped with only 10 neurons, I would
have given up too..
--
~~> ~~> ~~> ~~> ~~>
[e-mail]
<~~ <~~ <~~ <~~ <~~




From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)
Newsgroups: alt.aol-sucks
Subject: New FAQ Contribution?

I wrote my own FAQ for alt.aol-sucks.  Everyone, offer suggestions on how I
can improve this (I plan on submitting it to Dave so he can add what he
likes to his FAQ for alt.aol-sucks).  If I wrote something that was
incorrect, tell me.  Thanks a bundle.


[...]

 Why do you people post to alt.aol-sucks?  Don't you have anything better
 to do?

    Some people do.  Some people just enjoy a witty debate.  Some people
    just read and contribute once in a while when they deem it necessary.
    Some people contribute religiously, because they feel it's their
    responsibility.  Why do people go into the olympics?  Why do people
    join art survery?  Why do people fight in wars?  Why?  Why?  Why?


[...]


 Why are you folks against AOL users?

    1) They overload the FTP sites.  Ever since AOL users were allowed to
    use FTP, I find it harder and harder to get on to some of my favorite
    FTP sites.

    2) They post trash messages to USENET, for instance "where can i get
    picturez of marina sirtis nakid??????????!!!!!" (direct quote from
    alt.sex.stories).  Not only was this post annoying, it was posted in
    the wrong newsgroup.  On some computer forums you see messages saying
    "read this cock suckers!!!!!!!!!!!" in the subject saying "<put
    computer type newsgroup discusses here> SUCKS!!!!!!!!!"  All the
    messages I've encountered on USENET of this type have been from AOL.

    3) They're just generally annoying.  One AOL member thought that I
    was a pretty nice guy, and wrote me about his computer problems (how
    do you do this? how do you get the music to work?).  I told him to
    buzz off and ask somebody else.  I get mailbombed. *shrug* No big
    deal but I was annoyed.

    As I pointed out before in this FAQ, I don't necesarrily believe that
    all AOLers are like this.

[...]

                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]











Subject: IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL A.O.L MEMBERS
From: [e-mail] (irish)


FOR ALL YOU NICE AOL FOLKS
===========================

You don't have to put up with all this crap thrown at you by
these internet nerds...

COME ON OVER TO ALT.BIGFOOT THE FRIENDLY NEWSGROUP.

You will meet nice friendly people in an atmosphere of help
and understanding.

Now when you get over there you might run into Mr. Bulldog
and he might tell you to get out and demand (I kid you not)
moose poems and silly things like that... just ignore him, he
is just an old softy (and a bit soft in the head as well :-))

So hurry on over (tell them Eileen sent you).


luv n'kisses

Eileen, Director of Recruitment Alt.Bigfoot







Subject: Re: Internet elitists, crybabies, and hypocrites
From: [e-mail]
Date: 16 Sep 1994 10:40:22 GMT

Kevin Fisher ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Tmweditor ([e-mail]) wrote:
: : Why should someone have to
: : learn UNIX just to express their opinions?
: Who the fuck says you have to become proficient in UNIX to express their
: opinions?

No shit, I'll bet half the people on usenet know just enough UNIX to survive,
(not including aol idiots) and they still manage not to piss of the
rest of the users.

: EVEN with a fucking FAQ posted EVERY WEEK the AOL morons STILL haven't
figured
: out what the group is supposed to be for.
Absolutly THE most annoying thing is reading a news group filled with
questions from aolers to stupid to read the FAQ.







Subject: Re: Just a Question....
From: [e-mail] (Mark Miller)

In article <340088$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Islandgrrl)
writes:
>From: [e-mail] (Islandgrrl)
>Subject: Just a Question....
>Date: 30 Aug 1994 15:11:04 -0400

>I've been lurking in this group for about a month now, and I finally have
>to ask just one small question...

>Where is it written down that merely because I post from AOL I am
>therefore a complete and utter moron???  I'm so SICK of being flamed for
>my address!  Granted, AOL is sort of the trailer park of the Internet...
>but just because I live in the "trailer park" doesn't mean I don't have
>anything useful to say...

 Kiddo, AOL is the K-Mart of internet access.  It is frequented by folks who
don't really know anything about the internet, and don't bother to find out
before broadcasting their ignorance all over cyberspace.  And, like K-Mart,
it tries to do so much that it doesn't do any of it well.

  There are some folks on AOL with good net-iquette, but like in real
life, a person is judged by the crowd he hangs out with.

>Why do I keep this account? Well... I'm not an inept nitwit who only knows
>how to point and click... I supposed I COULD get another account.  Maybe
>I'm just a martyr.  Maybe I'm just waiting around for Prodigy to get
>UseNet access so that I won't be the scourge of the Net anymore...  Maybe
>I'm just waiting for the day when I post something that doesn't get at
>least one flame from some imbecile who has nothing better to say than
>"yeah, but she's posting from AOL... heh heh." (Btw - just wait - I give
>it a week before someone posts that response to this message)

  Incidentally, there are a bunch of techno-morons outside of AOL too.
I can guarentee a yuk-yuk response to your message, being it was posted in a
group called ALT.AOL.SUCKS...  I fact, I would call it an axiomatic
certainty.

>So, back to the discussions in progress...  just had to share that
>mometary gripe.  I think I'll go take some Midol now....

  Cheers!!

 -  Mark Miller
  Grand Poobah of Engineering,
  Phoenix Data Systems, Houston Texas
  "Houston's Premier Internet Provider"







Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin (fwd)
From: [e-mail] (Steve Sohn)

There is an interesting parallel between the invasion by AOL and other
"canned services" and what real estate developers have done to undeveloped
(read:  natural) land. That, to my mind, is the objection to the AOLers
and their ilk.  They are here with the adjustable, one-size-fits-all
baseball hats, and such;  they are the ugly Americans, beer bellies and
all looking for the port-o-san in cyberspace. I think we can all be a lot
happier without them, and we will simply have to work around them. Nothing
else to do.


__________________________________________
If it were done when 'tis done,
then 'twere well it was done quickly . . .

My message is done.
[e-mail]





AOL BLACK BASEBALL CAP

Order your sleek, new, black America Online
baseball cap. The cap features a vibrant,
embroidered America Online logo in silver,
teal and purple stitching.

It's the perfect year-round accessory to your
wardrobe. One size fits all. Order yours today!

Each hat is $12.95 plus $2.00 shipping.








From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


>Andrew,
>    You said:
>>Has anyone noticed that it looks kind of like a pyramid with an eye
>>in the center? Spooky stuff...
>
>Have *you* ever noticed the center of the AOL icon is the meteorological
>symbol for a hurricane? Kinda like taking the online services industry by
>storm!

Have *you* ever noticed how old the threads are that AOL-er's reply to?

[...]




<author unknown>

vilexile ([e-mail]) wrote:
: : P.S. I have an idea.  See sig prototype below.  If it catches on, it will
: : send them a message.

: :  ===+===+===+===+===+===+===+===+===
: :   I ignore all posts from aol.com.
: :  ===+===+===+===+===+===+===+===+===

<me>:
MESSAGE?  WHAT MESSAGE?!?!?!?!??

God this sounds like a stupid fucking parallel to 1950's racism in the
South.  "Yep, we don't want 'em here...maybe if we blow up their school,
it'll send 'em a message."   Confused?  See "Mississippi Burning" or the
first part of "Forrest Gump."

Is this the racism for a postmodern age?

"Give me your tired, give me your poor, but don't give me a fucking
boatload.."

The .sig and the idea of "sending them a message" is racist and disgusting.

student at the University of Kansas who worships Frank Sinatra.

--



From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

BTW, redskys, the '69' thread died out about a month and a
half ago.

And if you'd quote things in articles you were responding to,
we'd know what the HAYDIES you were talking about.  Oops, forgot.
AOL-er's can't quote.  Sorry!  Didn't mean to touch a sore spot.

Finally, I've held my thoughts on this for a long time.  Let
me make sure they're clear:

It's wrong to bring up racism in this discussion about our on-line
service providers.  Real racism involved preventing people from
attending schools and universities, lynchings, denying the right to
vote, discriminating when hiring, discrimination in housing,
and bashing in the heads of peaceful demonstrators.

In addition, there's also an internet custom that says that whenever
holders of an opposing viewpoint are likened to Hitler, the debate is
officially declared over, as comparisons have gotten out of proportion.

You seem to have alot of good input for this group, though.  I
mean, given that our point is to prove how stupid AOL users are.

Welcome to alt.aol-sucks.




From:  [e-mail] (David Cassel)

The internet--hundreds of hours and devotion of people who created
the product and made it available, for free--the product which
AOL is are now packaging and selling.

The Usenet is a collection of individuals voluntarily gathered.
A corporation is selling access to that.

If their profit-ethic impinges on our community, we have a right
to indicate that.

>Is this the racism for a postmodern age?
>"Give me your tired, give me your poor, but don't give me a fucking
>boatload.."

Actually, the people who lost the green-card lottery might
find that quote particularly poignant.

My gripe is the decentralization, size, and sheer power of internet
facilities is pretty cool.  It doesn't just offer access to information (and
entertainment), but also more freedom, more human interactions unmediated
by corporations.  Censorship isn't possible on the real net, because it's
decentralized, not under a single authority.

But AOL users are using AOL as their frame of reference for the experience.
Their on-line experience is pre-assembled BY corporations.  Thus, it isn't
really interactive.  It's limited; its like picking *which* ride at
Disneyland to go on first.  Plus, alot of the material available is CREATED
by corporations.  Organizations like Warner records and Paramount pictures
offer "entertainment" features to AOL which are really just commercial
tie-ins.

When AOL-er's whine "We have something to bring to the Net," they
miss an important point:  The freedom and raw power of the net isn't
*available* to an AOL user.  They aren't exploring the world-wide web, the
thousands of publicly-available file sites, or the MUD's, or the IRC
channels.  They're using a pre-packaged set of options from a single
corporate source.  If a community is based on shared experiences, AOL-er's
are severely limited in their ability to become a part of it.  The fact that
everyone else has access to the instant gratification of hundreds of features
worldwide separates them.  Plus they can and do invest lots of time--hours
and hours--and access is usually unlimited.

And, where they can always post whatever they want, AOL users also experience
censorship.  Again, it's the net filtered by a corporate provider, who selects
which words can be used and which topics are verboten.  There's lots of
examples of this.  AOL's TOS specifically indicates topics which can't be
discussed; for instance, it's a violation to say anything which might be
considered promoting the use of drugs.  AOL hirelings monitor the public chat
rooms.  And we all know Usenet isn't the NET, but even there AOL intercedes:
all of the messages in this newsgroup will be posted under a new name, chosen
by AOL personnel.

AOL users can't even customize their interface.  AOL determines which
tools they'll use to read the Usenet or compose mail.  Now, it's even
worse:  they're also determining which internet tools users will and
won't have access to.  This is as much a technological shortcoming of
the service they offer, but AOL users are still voting with their dollars
for a service which provides much less.  Settling for less, they thus
bringing a *reduced* vision to the existing community.  The overall
passivity of the environment they operate in is inimical to the existing
culture on the net.  Yet they bring that passive attitude to the net.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
           Vs lbh phg naq cnfgr jvgu n svyr lbh cnvq nby gb qbjaybnq,
                    lbh pna qb jung v qvq ol glcvat 'q'.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=





Subject: Re: Let's list what's wrong :)
From: [e-mail] (REDSKYS)
Date: 16 Aug 1994 20:05:02 -0400

In article <2uc63g$[e-mail]>,
[e-mail] (Tooraj Enayati) writes:

Any butt head can join, even me.




Subject: Re: NEWS FROM BUTTHEAD!!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Martin H. Booda)
Date: 17 Aug 1994 13:00:19 GMT


In article <32rbae$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (JJ Bogart)
writes:
|>
|>
|> Uh........................................................................
|> ........................
|>         Uh.
|> Hu-Hu...............UH......Hu...Hu.......................................
|> .........
|>
|>
|> ...................................Like............Hu-Hu..................
|> ....................
|>
|>           .................Evil sucks..............................or
|> something............uh-hu.
|>
|>                                                                -Butthead

I always figured that, once Butthead got on the net, it would be through AOL.









Subject: McDonald's-AOL article
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

This article appeared in the New York Times at the end of August.


        McDonald's advertisements began appearing on the the America
Online consumer information network earlier this month.  While McDonald's
is the epitome of fast food, its ads online take a long time to digest.
Online advertising has been risky for companies hoping to reach new
markets through computer networks.  McDonald's recognized that even
computer geeks have to eat, however, so it created a "McDonald's
Interactive" area on the country's fastest-growing consumer network.
        A McDonald's spokeswoman stressed that the ads, which can be
found in the NBC Online area of America Online's entertainment section,
are prototypes for what is expected to be a more extensive on-line presence.
        But it is also a great example of missing the point of on-line
marketing.
        Visitors may wonder what McDonald's means by interactive.  The
only choices that a reporter recently saw were lists of files that were
about as interactive as cold french fries.
        Choosing the "Food for Your Brain" file summons a glossary of
common on-line terms.  "What's New at McDonald's" brings the stale news
that McDonald's now sells audio CDs and movies at its restaurants.  Other
files are modestly more interesting, like the prices of Big Macs in
foreign countries--from a low of $1.03 in China to a high of $3.96 in
Switzerland.
        The most promising feature is one that solicits pen pal letters
for resident of Ronald McDonald Houses, places for children with severe
illnesses.  But instead of taking advantage of the medium for electronic
mail, McDonald's merely invites readers to mail regular letters.
                                                        [End Article]





Subject: AOL Edits its Gopher
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

This from the latest issue of Internet World.

     AOL is limiting the Gopher information it will make available,
     and users will only be able to easily access Gopher services
     that AOL's editors have chosen.


The rest of the paragraph (describing Veronica searches):

     You cannot choose the server to search.  And WAIS
     searches will not return the relevancy information the system
     is known for.  Thus, AOL's combined Gopher/Wais offering is a
     watered-down version of both applications that seems to promise
     more than it delivers--a charge AOL has faced before.

By Andrew Kantor (a former reader of alt.aol-sucks)




Subject: Big Brother is watching your posts.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

This is also in the latest issue of Internet World.

     AOL now has unofficial "Net buddies" whose job it is to
     "monitor Usenet" for AOL users violating netiquette.

I wonder if you get a TOS warning if you post something on the
internet that your "Net Buddy" doesn't approve of.




<author unknown>

An AOL correspondent of mine recently received the following message from
the AOL management. He received this message due to a PRIVATE email that
he sent, apparently to me. The "vulgarity" in question is apparently a
word that you could hear any night on Beavis and Butthead.

We have received a copy of E-Mail that you sent to another member.
As the content of this E-mail violates our Terms of Service, we
would like to remind you that these Terms prohibit vulgar
or sexually oriented language, harassment, discussion of illegal
activities, conducting commercial business, and any other activity
that may impair the enjoyment of our members.

We have placed a note of this incident on your account history and
consider this a first warning.  We suggest that you do not undertake
such activities in the future, and we also suggest that you read the
Terms of Service by going to keyword "TOS".  If you have any questions
or comments regarding this situation, please feel free to write.







From: [e-mail] (Ross Jeffries at Studs 'R Us)

 I've been sick of AOL due to their constant and unfair censorship of my
posts.  They deleted one post because I used the word "sucks" in a clearly
non-sexual context...

  Finally, the TOS assholes booted me after I disrupted the Fat Women
Online Room!

  FUck em!



From: [e-mail] (Ash Campbell at Campbell Imaging and Design)

Good job, we're all proud of you ;)

--
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
  ___
 | _ |   "Close your eyes and       [e-mail]
  | |     surrender to your    Campbell Imaging and Design
  \_      darkest dreams!"     ---------------------------

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





Subject: Fuckin' AOL changed the name of this newsgroup
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Those fascist censoring bastards.

I checked the AOL newsgroups for the keyword "sucks."  Here's
what it came up with:

alt.life.sucks
alt.hayco.sucks.mud
alt.lluce.sucks.sucks.sucks.
alt.nick.sucks
alt.aol-sucks

When I added all the newsgroups to my active file, they were
all listed with their correct name, including "sucks", except for one.

Guess which one?

         <>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>
         |    Ovgr zr, nby.   lbh fhpx yvxr n purnc juber.   |
         <>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>








From: [e-mail] (MICHAEL PATRICK ASHBY)

 Hello Dear Fellow AOL-Sucks People!!!

I posted an article a few weeks ago on my experience with trying to
send my pop in Indiana some e-mail and the resulting conclusion:
AOL-sucks. My problem was mainly one of shitty technology. But as I
read through these recent and most disturbing reasons why AOL sucks I
am waking to a very scary feeling about the future of the Internet. If
the history of free speech in this country is any indication I am
truely frightened. It seems to me that anytime the average joe or jane finds
a way to communicate with his/her fellow person those who control the
enforcing aspects of society do there best to end it.
        I only hope aol is not the model of things to come.

                                Peace5000G
                                                Michael Ashby

ps I wonder if AOL kicks people off if they try to organize
around changing AOL policies???









Subject: Re: WARNING about the version of WAOL
From: [e-mail] (Brian Moore)
Date: Sun, 11 Sep 1994 05:55:02 GMT


In article <[e-mail]>
[e-mail] (James M. Egelhof) writes:
>In article <34rpu6$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Sulphury)
>writes:
>> In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Brian
>> Moore) writes:
>
>No, he didn't write this message. You did. DELETE THE GODDAMNED CITATION.
>

I sure didn't write it.  Just another clueless AOLer who doesn't know
what they're doing.  I think they need to see the two nessages I see when
I follow up to an aritcle.
  1. This will cost hundreds of dollars, are you sure you want to do this?
  2. Please be sure to double check all attributions.
>>
>> Please send me the method of doing this in e-mail.  Thank you.
>
>Method of doing what? What are you talking about, idiot?
>

He/She, most likely IT, are talking about a method to DL/UL for free
using a bug in WAOL.  It posted that it doesn't work with the new
version.  Of course all this was about 2 months ago.  I guess AOL likes
to keep posts around for a long time so cluesless users can restart old,
long dead threads.

Now if they had read, o been able to read, my original post, it
mentioned that I don't have it anymore so, don't ask for it.

Just a couple more reason why AOL MUST BE DESTROYED...ALL ELSE IS
MEANINGLESS!!

Brian Moore
 -mail [e-mail]

AOL users
They are extremelly clueless
Please flame them today


Ludi





Subject: AOL haiku's
From: [e-mail] (Brian Moore)


 AOL is evil
 It's Satan's on-line service
 And must be destroyed

 Yes we really suck
 We are extremely clueless
 Please flame us today

 AOL users
 They are good for fire wood
 To fuel the net flames


 Brian Moore
 -mail [e-mail]

 AOL MUST BE DESTROYED...ALL ELSE IS MEANINGLESS!!






Subject: Re: Freshly raped pups
From: [e-mail] (Bob Curtis)

[e-mail] (Godless) writes:

>>[ Article crossposted from alt.binaries.pictures.tasteless ]
>>[ Author was Pupsnuf ]
>>[ Posted on 5 Aug 1994 00:15:06 -0400 ]

>>----begin cross- posted text----
        [tastless post deleted]
>>----end cross- posted text----

>I fail to see the problem here.  PupSnuf posted this to an appropriate
>group.  It may have been inappropriate had it been posted to rec.pets, but
>it was not!! If you have a problem with tasteless posts, may I suggest
>unsubscribing to any group with the word tasteless in it.

Boy, do we have to spell it out for you? this was posted in a
.binary.pictures group. Is it a binary? Is it a picture? No! It's a
typical AOL problem - starting a discussion in an inappropriate group!

--
Bob Curtis ([e-mail])








Subject: Re: Stupid Promo's
From: [e-mail] (Paul Taylor)
Date: 8 Sep 1994 21:53:46 GMT

: Oh, and this is good:
:
: :  "America's Most Exciting Online Service(SM)!"
:
: AOL has registered the phrase "America's Most Exciting Online Service"
: with the U.S. trademark office.
:

        Would it be possible to trademark "AOL Sucks Large Donkey Balls"?
        How about AOL backwards? "Lamers Of America"?
        There were a few AOL lamers at HOPE last month. You could tell
who they were when thier accts got hacked:

login: johnj
password: johnj

        Fucking lamers






Subject: Re: AOL what is it?
From: [e-mail] (Jamie)

BESmith ([e-mail]) wrote:
: In article <33210h$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
: (Banther) writes:

: > Since AOL started allowing people to use the net, junk posts and
: > commercial ads have gone up several thousand percent

: LOL!  Do you have actual numbers to back up this claim?

Statistic: cle.biz: 9 out of 16 posts to a CLEVELAND-LOCAL group
<NOT AOL!> <more than 50%> are from AOL.

:P






Subject: Re: HOW TO GO TO COLLEGE ABSOLUTELY FREE!
From: [e-mail] (I are a coluj grajuit)

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] writes...
>Everyone needs a college education!  It's the AMERICAN WAY... the way to
>financial independence and self-esteem!
>COLLEGE AID IS AVAILABLE!  Many people fail to realize just how much aid is
<[etc]

Has anyone else noticed that these "buy this commercial item" posts
seem to come from AOL?  Perhaps they should tell new subscribers
that it's taboo?

James Munger                                           [e-mail]
                Rocket, Astro, Oiler, and Aggie fan
GS d-(?) -p+ c++ l? u+@ e++ m*@ s-/ n--(---) h(-)(*) f-(*) g-(+++) w+ t+ r y+
                       "In Bridge We Trust"







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

[e-mail]  Sam Brown writes:

> where are the most aol'ers in irc? #gaysex and #warez4

AOL-er's can't IRC.

Which makes this whole paragraph suspect:

[e-mail]  writes

>I love to randomly Chat to pick up useful bits of information I might not
>ordinarily find.
>Recently I discovered how many Netters stay more productive, alert, and
>energetic.

This is actually an appropriate post.  Given that our aim is to prove how
AOL-er's violate netiquette.  What are the odds that in the midst of an
on-going discussion about how stupid AOL-er's are, one of them would walk in
and demonstrate it?

A while back BES asked for statistics.  How about this:

Not only did the herbal tea spam come from AOL, which I've
stumbled across in four newsgroups so far, but an AOL'er
spammed 38 newsgroups with "Consciousness and the more abundant
life!" thread two weeks ago.

In news.admin.misc, a guy from MIT posted this:

>There are a LOT of those AOL "6-hour free trial" fatks
>out there.  Anyone can use one of them for a "drive-by" attack
>on their favorite Usenet groups.   So the spammer loses his account,
>so what?   He never paid for it anyway.

In fact, since its impossible to chat with a Netter from AOL, I
think the spammer must've gotten the AOL account just to post from.  A
disposable, if you will.

Maybe by posting in alt.aol-sucks, he was sending us a message
that he intended to have his account revoked soon.





Subject: How does AOL make $$$?
From: Jose@ .interramp.com
Date: Sun, 04 Sep 94 13:55:23 PDT


Can someone explain to me how AOL makes money giving away all those stupid
diskettes with free time on them?  Do they expect people to subscribe, then
sort of continue by default?  I have received over 7 of the bloody diskettes
in the mail.  I tried AOL for about 1 hour, and dropped it since it has an
interface that treats me like an idiot, its top speed is 9600 (get real), and

there is no offline navigator like the many there are for Compuserve.

The kicker is, I still don't see how they are making money giving all those
hours away.




Subject: Re: How does AOL make $$$?
From: [e-mail] ([e-mail])
Date: Fri, 9 Sep 1994 17:34:31 CST

In article <34oek1$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Tom Finley) writes:
>From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)
>Subject: Re: How does AOL make $$$?
>Date: 8 Sep 1994 21:43:29 -0400

>        The hours really don't cost them anything.  It's just a rip of
>to sign up with them.  The TRICK is that you move around trying to find
>something productive to do, and, finding nothing, try to cancel your
>account.  It's takes you another _TEN_ hours just to find out how to
>GET there... *SIGH* It's a pathetic place.  About a year ago I signed
>up for my 10 "free" hours, of course never being able to get on again
>to check out the measures they'd taken to get the assholes off usenet.
>Of course after about two hours of trying to get my account back online,
>(most of it waiting on the phone while I "stayed on the line") I was
>told to call another number.  Then I waited ANOTHER hour.  Good thing
>it was Labor Day and I didn't have anything to do.
>        What it does though is give you a free disk.  IF you can manage
>to get the label off.. good luck...
Just simply apply another disk lable sticker over the AOL sticker.  This
technique has saved me a lot of cash in purchasing new blank HD floppies.
After applying the sticker, all you have to do is put the disk in your A:
drive, and type FORMAT A:.  You will then have a perfectly working, brand
new,
blank floppy for free.  This disk can then safely be used for a wide variety
of tasks, none of which could be accidentally calling AOL to get your "FREE"
(yah right) membership account.




Subject: AOL keep your hands off the net !!
From: [e-mail] (Rajwinder Singh)

Enuf is enuf. It's time we got rid of the whole AOL buncha jocks !!
Join hands and kick AOL off the cyberspace.


From: [e-mail] (Mark Grosberg)

Rajwinder Singh ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Enuf is enuf. It's time we got rid of the whole AOL buncha jocks !!
: Join hands and kick AOL off the cyberspace.

I agree. Everybody, setup your routers to not accept anything from AOL's
subnets. Then they might change their IP adress....

AOL's IP is: 152.163.(125.12 -- is their news server I do believe).

L8r,
Mark G.





From: [e-mail] (Andrew M. Hoerter)

Mark Grosberg ([e-mail]) wrote:

: I agree. Everybody, setup your routers to not accept anything from AOL's
: subnets. Then they might change their IP adress....

        One thing I find truly hilarious is that they've registered their
_loopback_ address! :->

        Only AOL admins could be so clueless about the net's workings.

--
Andrew

[e-mail]
[e-mail]
#include <std/disclaimer.h>






Subject: What can we do?
From: [e-mail] (Jason E. Leighton)

  I think the majority of people in the newsgroup are in agreement.
AOL does suck and suck hard.  The millions of clueless users/companies
that it has unleashed will surely bring the internet to its knees.

  The question is:  What can we do about it?  I don't suppose a mass
protest of AOL will cause them to withdraw their services (simply because
of the $$$ they make).  Maybe we should launch a wave of hacker/crashers
at AOL?


 [Tuesday night, after a 6 pack of Pabst and a little Mork & Mindy]:

  "Honey, c'mere and look what I did!  I posted 'This is a test post' to
this thing called 'the Usenet'...in a couple of minutes millions of
people will see what I wrote!"

--
  "I can't see the lines I used to think I could read between." - Brian Eno






Subject: Re: AOL Interface - No Brains Required!
From: [e-mail] (Steve Sohn)

Perhaps the solution to the problem of the existence of AOL is for all of
us to open accounts on AOL, run up big bills and stiff them . . . Sounds
like a lark to me!






Subject: AOL keep your hands off the net !!
From: [e-mail] (Camille Klein)

Rajwinder Singh ([e-mail]) killed some innocent helpless electrons to say:
: Enuf is enuf. It's time we got rid of the whole AOL buncha jocks !!
: Join hands and kick AOL off the cyberspace.

If you want AOL's netlink yanked, then send mail to the following address:

[e-mail]

ANS is the outfit that's giving AOL their netlink.  If they are this much of
a pain in the a@! to everybody, then get together and try to get AOL's
link pulled.

--Siona.

--
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
Flames and mailbombs will be gladly received by [e-mail] and
[e-mail]
-





Subject: Re: AOHell hacking program.
From: [e-mail] (Godless)


Hey folks,  look what I found in alt.irc.  Sorry about the
double-spacing, i am just quoting the original
article.

[e-mail] (Deadhead) writes:

>                 AOHell

>                  by:

>               Da Chronic



>About AOHell:

>-------------

>AOHell is a Windoze program for WAOL (Windows America Online

>software).  It autumates all those download for free and

>downloading while chatting tricks I found over a year ago.

>It not only does that, but it does other AOL 'tricks' as well.

>It does something called "text Manipulation" where you can

>make someone appear to say something they really didn't say

>just buy clicking the button and entering their screen name.

>It also has a Macro feature for you to scroll in AOL chat

>rooms. :)  It has a "Ghost" button, which will blank the

>chat area screen.  (NOTE: Text manip and Ghost work on WAOL

>version 1.1 only, but will effect anyone using any WAOL

>software version. Downchat and free-load work on WAOL versions

>1.1 and 2.0)  Another feature of it is "e-mail bomb" Just click

>this button and fill out the form.  It will then send as many

>e-mails to that person as you like.  Up to 500.  It will take

>them hours to delete them all :) If you send 500 or more

>the receiver's mailbox will be full and they no longer can

>receive mail :) (use this feature you don't keep mail on because

>all that mail will be in your "Sent Mail" box.)  This e-mail

>bomb works on internet addresses too, and it's very quick.

>Another feature on AOHell is the "Get Cursor" button, hit this

>button when you get the hourglass cursor and it gets stuck, it

>will automatically get the cursor back for you.





>How to get AOHell:

>------------------



>If you want a copy of AOHell, send a request to "[e-mail]"

>with your AOL screen name.  I will then forward you a copy of

>AOHell.  When you unzip the file put the files "Threed.vbx" and

>"cmdialog.vbx" into your \windows\system directory.  You'll also

>need the file "vbrun300.dll" in your \windows\system directory.

>Most people have "vbrun300.dll", but if you don't just do a software

>search using "vbrun300" and download it to your \windows\system

>directory.

>        -----=====AOHell by: Da Chronic=====------



[...]




--
Bob Trieger
[e-mail]

"If alcohol is considerred a crutch, religion is a wheelchair."





Subject: AOL keep your hands off the net !!
From: [e-mail] (Leo Green)

Spatch ([e-mail]) wrote:
: In article <36fe6s$[e-mail]>,
: Andrew M. Hoerter <[e-mail]> wrote:
: >Mark Grosberg ([e-mail]) wrote:
: >
: >: I agree. Everybody, setup your routers to not accept anything from AOL's
: >: subnets. Then they might change their IP adress....
: >
: >     One thing I find truly hilarious is that they've registered their
: >_loopback_ address! :->
: >
: >     Only AOL admins could be so clueless about the net's workings.

: Sounds about right.  Remember, kids, they're gonna get a whole other
: machine when they leash telnet on us.
                          ^^^^^^

Please tell me you are kidding!  Please tell me you are kidding...
please...


                  < o 0 >
 ----------o00o------------o00o--------------------------------------------
|                                  |:|     :[e-mail]:          |
|   Anything written hearin is the |:|      --------------------           |
|   opinion of your mother, your   |:| "Romance is dead.  It was aquired   |
|   date, and everyone else within |:| in a hostile takeover by Hallmark   |
|   12 miles of this message.      |:|             and Disney."            |
|                                  |:|               -Lisa Simpson         |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------



Subject: Re: What can we do?
From: [e-mail] (Emery Walter Lapinski)

In article <338dal$[e-mail]>
[e-mail] (Jason E. Leighton) writes:
[deleted]
>  The question is:  What can we do about it?  I don't suppose a mass
>protest of AOL will cause them to withdraw their services (simply because
>of the $$$ they make).  Maybe we should launch a wave of hacker/crashers
>at AOL?

Here's an idea I've been toying with.  How about a simple script that
responds to *any* post from aol.com stating that you are killing that
article becuase of where it originated from and suggesting that they
drop AOL in favor or a better provider.  You can put it in your global
kill file (pipes work for kill files don't they?  They seem to for me.)

Or would this go beyond the limits of etiquette?

-Emery





From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Spatch, et al.,  wrote:
: What I'd love to do is get all the alt.aol-sucks regulars on AOL with
: 10hr accounts at one time and blitz one of the public chat rooms with
: discussions so harsh they'd make the TOS Nazis seig-heil so quickly,
: trying to get each and every one of us off.  It should be fun for, say,
: 5 minutes or so.

:: Nice job.  You made me spit popcorn all over the keyboard. ;)

Why not?  Most of the recent mass-spamming of the Usenet came from
people using "disposable" free AOL accounts.  It would be
ironic if, in retaliation, internet users started spamming AOL.
One of us could just spit out "send pdial to [e-mail]" and
Netcom's 1-800 number.

You know what'd be fun?  Pick a fake name that starts with
"Guide" and forge a TOS macro.


BARNEY:  Clinton's planning to tax us all.
Guide69  CAUTION, BARNEY.  YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF AOL'S TERMS
         OF SERVICE.  YOU ARE PROHIBITED FROM SAYING THE WORD
         "Clinton"
BARNEY:  What?  Yu mean I can't say Clinton?
Guide69  CAUTION, BARNEY, YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF AOL'S TERMS OF
         SERVICE.  YOU ARE PROHIBITED FROM SAYING THE WORD
         "Clinton".
BARNEY:  Why can't I say "Clinton?"
Guide69  BARNEY, YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF AOL'S TERMS OF SERVICE.
         Please turn over your password immediately.
BARNEY:  It's...it's "babybop"

Then you use Barney's account to post a GIF of professor indigo to
alt.binaries.dorks, and ask people to flame you.


                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |           "A liar come nine."           |
                          -----------------------------------------






Subject: October 13
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)


Lenny Bruce served time in prison for "obscenity".

Lenny Bruce died in 1966.

Lenny Bruce's birthday is October 13.



                    /\
                  /    \        Freedom of Speech Online civil disobedience
==============================================================================
               /__________\         AOL chat rooms  Oct. 13 9:00 pm - EST






Subject: Freedom of Speech Online Civil Disobedienc
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Among their crimes were pulling posts, selectively applying their Terms
of Service, and making gays feel unwelcome.  To preserve their "family"
orientation, AOL shut down feminist discussions.   Even when signing up,
AOL users must agree to not discuss certain topics.  AOL even edits its
Gopher!

The last straw may have been when AOL censored the name of the
alt.aol-sucks newsgroup.  As a symbol of contempt for AOL and its
disregard for unregulated exchanges of thoughts, AOL opposers will
collectively enter the AOL chat rooms on October 13th.  (This will be
easily accomplished using the free disks AOL has made available in the
mass promotion they used to bolster their membership count.)

It's a moral crusade.  Introducing an Information Patrol on the
Superhighway is unacceptable...no matter how nice the GUI.  Internet users
expect a higher level of freedom than some corporate providers would like
to offer.  Imposing petty restrictions violates the image of people
connecting freely that they have come to cherish.

Free Speech Online will make this opinion known.  Others are adopting the
.sig as a show of support.


  [e-mail]   /\
                  /    \        Freedom of Speech Online civil disobedience
==============================================================================
               /__________\         AOL chat rooms  Oct. 13 9:00 pm - EST





                        o   o
___________________oooO__( )___Oooo_______________________________________
John Welch - [e-mail] - From Sanford, FL, USA
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Freedom of Speech Online Civil Disobedience
AOL chat rooms - October 13, 1994 - 9:00 pm EDT (Oct. 14 0100 GMT)





Re: AOL keep your hands off the net !!
From: [e-mail] (Leo Green)

[...]

I freshen my .sig every couple of weeks...

                  < o 0 >
 ----------o00o------------o00o--------------------------------------------
|                                  |:|     :[e-mail]:          |
|   Anything written hearin is the |:|      --------------------           |
|   opinion of your mother, your   |:| Free Speech Online - AOL chat rooms |
|   date, and everyone else within |:|          Civil Disobedience         |
|   12 miles of this message.      |:|              October 13             |
|                                  |:|              9 p.m. EST             |
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------





Subject: Trials of Mary
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

I've found a new form of AOL censorship:

Eliminate the noise from the transcript to see what happened--just the
exchanges between Mary and the Guide:

Mary5913:       prick
Mary5913:       your finger
Guide GO:       Mary5913 vulgarity is a violation of the Terms of Service.
Guide GO:       Please stop NOW.  Read at Keyword TOS.
Mary5913:       Wait....that wasn't vulgarity.  it was a verb!
Mary5913:       bullsh**
Guide GO:       Mary 5913 discussion of illegal activities is a violation
                of the Terms of Service.
Mary5913:       Illegal activities?
Guide GO:       oops sorry
Mary5913:       Wait......what's illegal about pricking your damn finger?
Guide GO:       Mary5913 vulgarity even though masked is a violation of the
                Terms of Service.
Guide GO:       Please stop NOW.  Read at Keyword TOS.
Mary5913:       Yes, but what's illegal about pricking your damn finger?
Mary5913:       I can say "damn", right?
Mary5913:       Or do I need to say d***
SPIDERM540:     todd is the REAL problem, you see he has no genitalia....
                asexual...get it?
Guide GO:       SPIDERM540 vulgarity is a violation of the Terms of Service.
Mary5913:       Can we say "asexual?"
Mary5913:       Wait......what was the vulgarity?
Mary5913:       Can you tell us which of Spiderman's words were vulgar?

After this point, Mary's text does not appear in the room.

Now the question is:  Why?

Mary was TOS-ed after typing bullsh**   What had she done since then to merit
the gagging?  It was either "asexual", or the guide just didn't like her.

Censorship.  Case closed.

But here's the clincher:  AOL prohibited text from appearing in a chat room
without notifying the user that they'd done so.  Mary's monitor and
transcript continued showing her text appearing in the room, but a transcript
from another user in the room showed that it did not.

Censorship...and outright fraud!

(After Mary is silenced, the guide, as always, gets the last word.)

Trout Esq:      fascist
Guide GO:       I am just talking about the Terms of Service
Stpfljes:       which are vague therefore void
Stpfljes:       and unenforceable
Guide GO:       Not really:)
SPIDERM540:     mary, what's your take on this....tyranny...
Stpfljes:       marys gone

Guide GO:       Well I have to be GOing now.  If there are any TOS problems
                and you need a  guide.....
Guide GO:       Please use Keyword GUIDEPAGER.
Stpfljes:       guide did u dump mary
ToddT38799:     what happened to mary
Stpfljes:       the guide had her dumped

Mary5913:       genitalia?
Mary5913:       asexual?
Mary5913:       penis?
Mary5913:       Can I say "teat"
Mary5913:       Can I say.......cajones?


  [e-mail]   /\                   My newsgroup went to the
                  /    \        Freedom of Speech Online civil disobedience
==============================================================================
               /__________\          and all I got was this stupid .sig




Subject: Re: alt.aol-sucks???
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

In article <[e-mail]> Grant Szabo, [e-mail] writes:
>[bla bla] So who invited them in the first place?  I never asked AOL et.
al. to have a
>gateway to the internet.  I was never asked by my internet provider if I would
>mind if AOL et. al. users were permitted to post mail/news on the internet.
>No one on the internet asked for this, but instead had it shoved down their
>throats.  People on the internet are for the most part furious about this
>perceived raping and pillfering of their resources, and for good reason.
[bla bla]

Raping and "pillfering"? Give me a break. And who invited *you* onto the
Internet? Not me, that's for sure. But that's not why I'm here....

The time has come to delurk.....

....and to show you the original version of my article that Dawn has been
quoting from (and to which she has now added her own thoughts above). The
piece appeared in the Oct. 31 issue of In These Times magazine, where I'm
an editor, under the title "In with the Internet crowd." Enjoy, and try
not to wear yourself out with fuming and flaming and all that.

I've been lurking in alt.aol-sucks for a while, and I figured it was time
to fess up.
My next project may be a discussion of the gender politics of Usenet
newsgroups. (Possible title: Dr. Dawn meets the Teenage Cavemen.)

Just kidding. By the way, I've appended some post-publication thoughts on
the article in brackets below. (The term "trolling" in the first sentence
is not meant as a reference to Usenet trolling. Not everyone uses
language the way you folks do.)

[...]

Here's the piece:

In with the Internet crowd.

Traditionally, those who've trolled the vast reaches of what the
magazines like to call cyberspace have done so through the Internet, a
bizarrely anarchic (and distinctly user-unfriendly) conglomeration of
computer networks. To navigate the Internet, one has to be able to make
sense of things with names like TCP/IP and Listserv and Anonymous FTP. If
you don't know what any of these things are, don't ask. No one is more
hated by the initiates than the new user-or "newbie," in Netspeak-who
shamelessly admits his ignorance to the world. The Internet is the
ultimate revenge of the nerds.

And so the old hands of the Internet don't look too charitably on the
commercial services-CompuServe, Prodigy, America Online-that have
sprouted up in recent years as an alternative of sorts to the Net. [Well,
ok, compuserve isn't that new...] The services provide, as it were,
full-scale simulations of the Net, with many of the same features-from
discussion groups ("newsgroups") to e-mail to libraries of downloadable
files. [note to aol-suckers: a simulation is *not the same* as the real
thing. I am *not* saying that AOL is the same as the Internet, merely
that it tries to give the appearance of being a more user-friendly junior
Internet]

The services lack some of the variety of the "real" Net-to which they
offer at best only limited access-and all of its anarchic charm. But
they're clean and simple and convenient-the McDonald's of cyberspace. The
most ostentatiously user-friendly of the services (and, not
coincidentally, the fastest-growing) is America Online (AOL), with cute,
cartoony graphics and easily accessible help everywhere you turn.
[graphics no longer quite so cartoony]

It's hardly surprising, then, that AOL is also the service most hated by
the Internet regulars-so much so that there is now a newsgroup on the
Internet devoted entirely to attacks on AOL and its users. [well, on
Usenet, but this is something of an obscure point for readers of In These
Times] The regular contributors to the group (called, appropriately
enough, "alt.aol-sucks") are masters of the art of "flaming"-the Net term
for heaping abuse on those who have violated the unwritten codes of
Netiquette. The flames range from the sophomoric ("How many AOLusers to
skrew in a lightbulb? 3. One to screw it in and 2 to say "Duh??? watz a
litebolb?") to the slightly less sophomoric ("Zounds, Captain. He knows
not what sarcasm is. He must have his head shoved too far up his rectal
orifice to have a sense of humor"). No subject is too petty to argue
over, and the contributors take each other on with the same energy they
apply to the dreaded AOL. I recently ran across a half-dozen messages
("posts") devoted to a vitriolic debate over whether or not the term
"Internet" should be capitalized. I forget who won. The flamers clearly
have a great deal of time on their hands.

I followed alt.aol-sucks avidly for a time-after all, AOL does suck, in
so many, many ways. But then the novelty began to wear off, as it became
more and more clear to me that the only purpose of the group was to let
Net veterans (and would-be veterans) pick on hapless AOL newbies. Then,
just as I was about to give up on the group entirely, I noticed a cryptic
message tacked on to one of the posts. "Freedom of Speech Online civil
disobedience," the note said. "AOL chat rooms. Oct. 13 9:00 PM-EST." The
aol.suckers, in short, were going straight to the heart of the beast. I
made plans to be there when they arrived.

They picked the right party to crash. Nothing about America Online sucks
quite as much as its chatrooms, where, every evening, hundreds of lonely
Americans take part in what one might call an online experimental
absurdist drama. The chat rooms (which have names like "Best L'il
Chathouse" and "The Flirts Nook") are always filled to the brim, each
room supporting nearly two dozen inhabitants who have nothing more in
common than a modem and nothing to do. Needless to say, the discussion
can be a bit disjointed:

PamBFISH: I'm from Minnesota, it was a nice fall day today
Flybyknite : E=mc^2
BobS424833: I still here Sarah
NascarJohn : we are speaking in Portuguese

On October 13, at the appointed time, I signed on expectantly. Was I
about to witness a bold existential protest of AOL's stupefying
sterility-a defiant protest of postmodern existence itself? Was I to be
present at the creation of a new form of political action, a kind of
civil disobedience that could prove to be the online equivalent of Rosa
Parks' refusal to give up her seat on the bus?

Well, no. I spent an hour wandering from room to room, searching as
desperately for signs of civil disobedience as the hormone-impaired
inhabitants of the "Teen Chat" rooms were for girls. I'm not sure if I
found any. I discovered one user shouting incoherent curses at the
inhabitants of "Game Parlor Too." And what seemed to be group sex in room
"Thirtysomething 1"-in strict violation of AOL's explicit anti-sex rules.
Perhaps this was the civil disobedience I had been promised. Or perhaps
it was nothing more than the normal shenanigans of AOL users driven to
the edge by the relentless banality of the online chatter.

For the most part, though, the calm surface of AOL's chatrooms went
undisturbed. I discovered flirts in the Flirts Nook, gamers in the Game
Parlors, Teen Chatters gamely exchanging vital statistics real and
invented-all (sigh) as it should be. And in "Star Fleet Academy" the
users continued their role-playing game with a remarkable degree of
serenity and seriousness.

Cpt Heat: Mr Turltless I gave no order to Increase Speed.
             Return to Warp 5
TURTLESSSS : yes sir, warp 5
Cpt Heat: Tactical...Any readings on the Probes?
LOKII: Automapping sequence ready, sir

But why should I have expected more? For civil disobedience to be more
than mere rudeness, it needs to be motivated by something beyond simple
contempt-it needs (sorry to get so preachy about it) to be animated by an
expansive vision of human possibility. If anything, the aol.suckers have
a more constricted, less democratic, vision of cyberspace than the
inhabitants of AOL's chat rooms. Like their supposed enemies, they've
arrived online in search of companionship, of community. But rather than
making an effort to engage with the newcomers to the Net, they've settled
back to the more comfortable confines of clique. Like the AOL chatrooms,
alt.aol-sucks offers only a poor parody of real human interaction. Hell,
you don't need a modem for that.



Subject: Re: alt.aol-sucks???
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)
Date: 19 Nov 1994 00:56:19 -0800


[...]

  [e-mail]   /\                    My newsgroup went to the
   Canter  Siegel /    \        Freedom of Speech Online civil disobedience
==============================================================================
   green card  /__________\          and some asshole from "These Times"
 used it to write another over-generalizing article about the Internet.



*** FAQ (Part III - alt.aol-sucks ) ***

[...]


If the book editor for "In These Times" read the newsgroup, what would he
say?

    He's probably got more important things to do.


I bet he doesn't.

    I bet he does.


I bet he doesn't.

    I bet he does---whoops.  You're right!  He doesn't. He wrote a whole
    article about it in the October 31 issue.


[...]


I heard he posted to the newsgroup shortly after his article appeared.
What did he say?

     "Please be more specific.  Blow *what* out my ass?"





Subject: Re: alt.aol-sucks???
From: [e-mail]

Uh, right.  I guess this article is heading its way over to that last bastion
of online literacy, CyberInternet Weekly or whatever you chose to call it.
Really.  For someone who claims to be working for the "end of
net.discrimination" you're sure doing a wonderful job of keeping it alive.
For one, I didn't identify with half the stereotypes you portrayed (I don't
discriminate on the sole basis of an @aol.com address, I don't despise
newbies, etc.) and, as usual, you tailored the article with a particular
slant.  Gone are mentions of AOL users attempting to troll the group (HEY DUDEZ
I UZE AOL ALL THE TIIME AND ITS RADICUL MAN!!!), gone as well are the
propaganda-like posts by those who work for AOL, trying to get everybody
to change their minds (remember Anchorman3, anyone?  "America Online is the
best way to get to the Internet and no, I'm not saying this just because
they pay me.") and the technodiscussions where it seems everybody is giving
out the wrong information.

You do everybody a terrible disservice with this article, Dawn.  You at the
same time offend and embarass me by making vague generalizations and keeping
the discussion one-sided.  I offer you another challenge, one which you'll
probably ignore but oh well:  Find me one instance of me flaming an AOL
user SOLELY ON THE BASIS that s/he is from America Online.  Can't.

I hate America Online for its services (or lack thereof), I hate America
Online for its increasingly demeaning attitude towards the Internet, I hate
America Online for its use of the "Information Superhighway" cliche, I hate
America Online for being Yet Another Commercial Service, I hate Steve Case
for exploiting the resources of the Internet, for grossly overcharging its
users, for attempting to push somebody's concept of "morals" onto a large
population, I hate parallelism and long sentences, I hate this twisted
ethic that these executives in suits push on us that "paying for advertisements
is A-OK", I hate the idea that there are those who are convinced that what
the Internet needs is to turn commercial, I hate just about everything Steve
Case and America Online stand for.

I do NOT hate the whole user populace of America Online.  If you try and
claim that then you are terribly wrong.  There ARE some problem users on
AOL - there are problem users everywhere - and the ones that I flame on here
are the ones who have taken it upon themselves to discriminate.  No, your
GUI is not the be-all and end-all of interfaces.  No, your billing system
IS unfair.  Yes, censorship IS wrong and it's happening right now on
America Online.  Trust me - if I could set up a public service and take in
all those who want off of AOL, I would.  I'd help them with the ins and outs
of real Net access.  But what do I know?  I don't have enough money.

There are those in this newsgroup who persist in juvenile flames and
namecalling.  There are those, however, who work through better means, not
always juvenile and sexist, not always inflammatory.  I seriously wish you
could have taken all the sides into consideration.  Oh, but what good
would that do?!  I forgot.  You're only trying to further your pedantic
side of the argument.

(Of course, knowing Dawn, she's going to reply with that stupid ASCII arrow
of hers and then a pithy one-line response.  It's happened before and it'll
happen again.  I don't even know why I bother.  I mean, gee, I've got
an .edu account.)


- spatch, who doesn't even go to the damn University of Maryland -




Subject: Anti-AOL Manifesto
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

I sent this letter to "In These Times" about their article on
alt.aol-sucks and "Free Speech Online" (which was written before the
transcripts were posted).  You may remember the article noted the
internet's "anarchic charm", but labeled the newsgroup a "parody of
humanity".

To set the mood, the main point of the original piece:

   But why should I have expected more? For civil disobedience to be more
   than mere rudeness, it needs to be motivated by something beyond simple
   contempt-it needs (sorry to get so preachy about it) to be animated by an
   expansive vision of human possibility.


From: David Cassel <[e-mail]>
Subject: Letter to the Editor ("In With the Internet...")


Connecting people voicing their personal beliefs, many-to-many, in
unfiltered discussions; no commercial content, pre-set agendas, or
pre-defined pools of ideas; and post-ers correcting media
mis-representations.  Mass-media models crumble in the face of:
interactivity.

The "anarchic charm" of the internet is the absence of a corporate
presence to outlaw topics...and words.  Concrete instances of this
happening on America Online include the phrases "hacker"  and "riot grrl".
"America's Fastest Growing Online Service"  (SM) posits a consumer model:
commercial content, regulated offerings, and pay-as-you-go access.
Charging $3.50/hour for their "McDonald's Interactive" area, a tollbooth
on the information superhighway meters access to information made
available freely on the internet--while still imposing censorship on those
offerings.  It's commercialization that parodies human interaction.
(Sometimes literally--AOL employee's have posed as unaffiliated internet
users to promote their employer's service.)

The free speech activist's envisioned high-tech human connectivity
unmediated by corporations.  Transcripts of "evictions" for inputting
Pulitzer-prize winning profanity were posted to the alt.aol-sucks
newsgroup.  Paul Krassner dictated a statement.  "In These Times" covered
the event, and one of their reporters now posts to the newsgroup.  Thus,
the Free Speech Online demonstrators drew the attention of the one-to-many
media to their issue--information superhighway censorship.

Civil disobedience is brute interactivity.

[e-mail]
Organizer, Free Speech Online


     +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Epilogue:

The magazine said it was "cryptic", and refused to print it.

Thus illustrating the inherent shortcomings of a non-interactive media.







Subject: Re: Free Speech Online:  IM transcipts
From: [e-mail] (Lou Nakata)

In article <3b56ud$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

<A poignant contrast>

Ok, lemme begin by sain' I don't like this asshole
Cassel.  I don't even know why.  Ya ever just ,eet
someone you disliked on sight?

But I read his transcripts.  Here's what I get-

1.) I'm getting the fuck outta AOL asap, as soon as I can figure
      out this direct connect thing.
2.) AOL is DEFINITELY fucking bigoted.
3.) There are some really fucking weird types on AOL,
        like "Oh Guide GO, I'm so gald you are here; I hope
        your day in Church wasn't too stressful; but we
        have someone here who used a four letter word;
        he said THE "S" WORD.  I'll leave him to you now.
        I gotta go to room "SHITHEADS FOR HITLER."
4.) I see now why you guys (applies to babes too) dislike
        soem of the shit that flows out from AOL and enjoy the
        chance to piss on them.
5.) Some of these Guides should get a standard psych test;
        they're using their TOS power to fuck over too many
        people.  Remember kiddie crossing guards in grade school?
6.) There is a simple way not to get TOSsed (I know, alt.hackers.)
        I have had fun with a few guides by making it impossible for
        them to TOS me.  Clue- they can pull your cord physically,
        but the software for TOSing is on *YOUR* hard drive!!!!!!!!!
        (I know AOL will disagree with this; but it just WORKS, muthuhs!)

Louis Nakata, PhD

PS.  YES, I my language can get salty.
        I write like I talk.  I gotta bad attitude, what
        can I say.  Where I grew up, we all talked
        like this.  It sometimes shocked people in
        college when I would raise my hand and
        say, "What the fuck is that shit?"
        I can only say 1.) It ain't gonna change
        at this age; 2.) it's the only attitude I've got.
        If it's any consolation, I've lost a few AOL
        accts for cussing at the NAZI TOS GUIDES,
        so I'm an equal opp offender..






Subject: The 95% AOL Solution
From: Dawn McGatney <[e-mail]>


Dawn Writes--------------->>>>>


This is the post that AOL hoped would never appear.

You see, AOL liked this newsgroup just fine while we
argued about stink bombs and MDs; while we flamed like
school kids in a locker room; when we debated the
capitalisation of Internet and when we discussed the pros
and cons of password filching.  AOL even carries this
newsgroup, albeit under a slightly modified name, and
a fair number of AOLers apparently even read alt.aol-sucks.

So the reality is that AOL has no quarrel with us.  At
the moment.

But there is something we can do that'll make AOL
like us a whole lot less.

Two of the basic premises of alt.aol-sucks are:

1.) AOL provides incomplete and inferior
      Internet access, and

2.) AOL charges more (a lot more) than it should for
      their inferior Internet services.

But most AOL members appear to like the non-Internet
services which AOL now provides, even though many of
these may be duplicated in superior fashion on the
Internet.

*AND THEY ARE UNAWARE THAT THERE ARE ALTERNATIVES.*

Therefore, I think that alt.aol-sucks needs to say
 to AOL's members:

1.) If a substantial portion of your AOL charges
     are currently the result of Internet access
     (e.g., reading and posting to newsgroups), then

2.) You can get a whole lot better Internet access
     for a whole lot less money, *AND WE WILL SHOW
     YOU HOW.*

We then begin using this newsgroup in part (or an
 FTP site or whatever) to explain to the advanced
 novice precisely what needs to be done for improved
 Net access at substantially lower cost.

If we do this correctly, then:

1.) AOL members will begin using Internet providers
     for their Net forays;

2.) Some existing AOL members will drop AOL entirely,
     since most of their current usage is either
     Net access or functions that are available in
     superior form on the Net;

3.) Potential new members whose primary interest in
     AOL is Net access will not even begin using AOL
     for their Internetting.

Additionally, because even following our detailed
instructions requires *some* degree of smarts, the
"less informed" will remain with AOL for their Net access.

Though this is possibly undesirable, we have to
stop wringing our hands over it; the commercial services
are going to continue to provide some Net access.

BUT we can prevent the overpriced sale of an inferior
product to an unsuspecting public by laying out the
alternative and explaining how to get there.

The price alt.aol-sucks pays is some reduction in
flaming and flame wars and the resignation that we
will publish a Guide to Bypassing Expensive
Commercial Services When Accessing the Internet.

And alt.aol-sucks even may need to help AOLers who
encounter problems in their transition.  There is
less of the quick rush of flaming on one hand; but
on the other, there is the satisfaction of seeing
that Net users receive quality services at fair
prices.

Any interest?


-------Dawn McGatney



Subject: Re: The 95% AOL Solution
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

In article <[e-mail]> Nicholas Riley,
[e-mail] writes:
>Yes...how about a collaborative FAQ that gets updated regularly, and
>auto-posted (or manually by one member) here and to alt.aol.rejects once
a
>week or so?

This would be ideal....in the meantime:

INTERNET ACCESS INFO   part 1

Here, for people unhappy with their online services (say, for example,
A*L), is a list of internet providers arranged by area code. All promise
cheap or free access to at least some internet features--most have at
least e-mail and usenet; others do the whole shebang. Ask if you can get
a PPP/SLIP connection; then you can access the net with a very handy,
very easy to use net browser such as Mosaic or Netscape and other free or
shareware software that makes using the net almost as easy for the novice
as any of the online services. If you can find a good local provider,
there's no need to pay more than $30 or so a month for unlimited
point-and-click access to the net.

E-mail for more info if there is an e-mail address given. Or use your
communication software to dial up the service and logon as a guest.
(Usually these systems will explain what to do.)

WARNING: THIS LIST IS NOT UP TO DATE. MOST OF THIS INFO IS SEVERAL YEARS
OLD. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And please be polite if you call anyone up. In
some cases these are local BBS's that may no longer be in operation.

I have more current info on providers in New York and Chicago that I will
post shortly.

Do NOT e-mail me for more info. I don't have any.  I've appended the info
that came with this list on how to get updates. The easiest thing to do
is to send e-mail to [e-mail]. Include one of the
following phrases as the subject or body of your message, and you'll get
an automatic reply:

send nixpub long

send nixpub short

send nixpub long short

index nixpub


Please post any additional info you have--add new phone numbers, correct
mistakes, note which of these have gone out of business.

--DF








From: [e-mail] (AnchorMan3 at America Online, Inc.)

In article <3505tc$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

> By choosing AOL, even internet-experienced AOL users
> (if there are any) give money to a commercial service that is
indifferent
> to the free and unfettered exchange of ideas.

I beg to differ, David.  I host one of the more controversial forums on
America Online, The Capital Connection, and the ideas are indeed flowing
quite freely.

Perhaps you are concerned that America Online does not allow foul language
online.  Having read and subsequently removed posts with such language, I
daresay that the members are not missing much in the way of ideas.

Of course, I recognize the need of some people to use such language, and
there are certainly places for such people to go...this newsgroup for
example.

> They impose censorship from above...

> ...community that acquiesces to censorship...

You seem a little confused on this point, David.  In one sentence we are
imposing your so-called "censorship" from above, and then, a few sentences
later, indicate that our community is apparently agreeing to the
censorship.  Which is it, imposition or agreement?

Of course, America Online's members agree to the Terms of Service else
they don't remain members (and I've seen former members post in this
newsgroup about their disagreements with the TOS).  Bottom line: America
Online cannot impose censorship on anyone.  We wouldn't have a million
plus customers if we did.

Brian Carlisle
Capital Connection Host on AOL




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

[e-mail] writes:

>>In article <3505tc$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
>>writes:
>>
>> By choosing AOL, even internet-experienced AOL users
>> (if there are any) give money to a commercial service that is
>indifferent
>> to the free and unfettered exchange of ideas.

Nice quoting.

>I beg to differ, David.  I host one of the more controversial forums on
>America Online, The Capital Connection, and the ideas are indeed flowing
>quite freely.

With the following exceptions:

>Member specifically agrees not to submit, publish, or display on America
>Online any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene, profane, sexually
>oriented, threatening, racially offensive, or illegal material; nor shall
>Member encourage the use of controlled substances.

AOL's Terms of Service.  And let's not forget this:

>Earlier this month, the America Online network shut
>several feminist discussion forums, saying it was concerned
>that the subject matter might be inappropriate for young girls.

New York Times, front page.  June 29.  The ideas are indeed
flowing quite freely...except when they aren't.

>Perhaps you are concerned that America Online does not allow foul language
>online.  Having read and subsequently removed posts with such language, I
>daresay that the members are not missing much in the way of ideas.

It's okay.  All the posts I removed against the wishes of the people
who submitted them were really bad.  I could tell.  And if they were
good posts, but contained bad language...I would still remove them.
AOL policy.  (We're talking to the CENSOR, guys.  The guy that actually
removes the posts.)

>Of course, I recognize the need of some people to use such language, and
>there are certainly places for such people to go...this newsgroup for
>example.

This newsgroup is on the internet.  If it WERE on AOL, you WOULDN'T allow
the language.  You do so only because you have no choice.  And even then,
you won't let them keep the name they chose to give it.

>> They impose censorship from above...
>
>> ...community that acquiesces to censorship...
>
>You seem a little confused on this point, David.  In one sentence we are
>imposing your so-called "censorship" from above, and then, a few sentences
>later, indicate that our community is apparently agreeing to the
>censorship.  Which is it, imposition or agreement?

There's no contradiction.  You seem to think that if they're acquiescing,
that means they like the policy.  As opposed to just not caring enough to
object to it.

>Of course, America Online's members agree to the Terms of Service else
>they don't remain members (and I've seen former members post in this
>newsgroup about their disagreements with the TOS).  Bottom line: America
>Online cannot impose censorship on anyone.  We wouldn't have a million
>plus customers if we did.

You're playing semantics games.  We don't censor our members, because they
agree to let us censor them.  If they object, they cease to be members.
I stand corrected.

I'll rest my case with this:

"The freedom of speech may be taken away, and dumb and silent
we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."  George Washington

Compare that with Brian's AOL user profile:

"Ignorance is bliss . . . we are all happy people."

                          --------------------------------------------------
[e-mail]          |    This generation of Americans                  |
man of 1,000 sigs        |        has a rendezvous with Destiny!   F.D.R.   |
                          --------------------------------------------------






In article <[e-mail]> James M. Egelhof,
[e-mail] writes:
> In article <33fi4k$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
> (AnchorMan3), an AOL employee, writes:
> > The Windows
> > and Mac client both support "data on demand," meaning that artwork is
> > only sent if it is a part of the currently requested form.  Of
> > course, once artwork has been sent to the client, it does not have to
> > be sent again.
>
> Of course, you pay standard connect time charges to download large and bulky
> artwork you may never need again...

I also have an AOL address (which you'll never see a post from, thanks to
their newsreader), and recently checked out their beta 2.5 version. AOL's
attempt to have a new, hipper multimedia interface means that many screens
have murky, headache-inducing backgrounds. Guess what? These backgrounds
need to be downloaded also in some instances, and it takes WAY longer to
download that artwork. More $$$.

thomas parker





<author unknown>

AnchorMan3 ([e-mail]) wrote:
: In article <334gfm$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Kenneth)
: writes:

: > 14.4 is here and has been for a while now.  What's there to be tested?
: > 14.4 too complex for AOL's systems?

: There is nothing on AOL's end that needs to be tested.  I'm fortunate to
: be in one of the areas where SprintNet is testing 14.4.  In fact, I'm
: connected at 14.4 right now.

: As has always been the case in the online services industry, it takes time
: for the local access companies to test and eventually distribute higher
: speed access to all of their indials.

: Brian Carlisle
: Capital Connection Host on AOL


I guess that means you can search thru 1000 responses to re-read a
previously read posting much faster now. And I'll bet those silly icons
download much faster every time you log on.





Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (AnchorMan3)


In article <350lel$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

: >Earlier this month, the America Online network shut
: >several feminist discussion forums, saying it was concerned
: >that the subject matter might be inappropriate for young girls.
:
: New York Times, front page.  June 29.  The ideas are indeed
: flowing quite freely...except when they aren't.

I didn't read the article you mention, but the phrase "inappropriate for
young girls" leads me to believe that feminism, if that was the original
subject matter, was not the reason the room was closed.  Feminist
discussions occur in the forum I host as well as other forums across
America Online.

: It's okay.  All the posts I removed against the wishes of the people
: who submitted them were really bad.  I could tell.  And if they were
: good posts, but contained bad language...I would still remove them.
: AOL policy.  (We're talking to the CENSOR, guys.  The guy that
: actually removes the posts.)

It may surprise you to know that I remove, on average, less than one post
per week.  Of course, given your fervent attempt to prove that America
Online censors ideas, it may also surprise you to see the wide variety of
controversial subjects being convered in The Capital Connection.  Of
course, we'll miss this little pearl of wisdom from [e-mail]
(Godless):

: Since when does calling people names have anything to do with
: being mature?  Maturity is having hair on your balls and the ability
: to blow a load.  Or in the case of females, you are mature when you
: get tits, bleed a lot and start bleaching your hair.

Ah, yes, the quintessential definition of maturity.  Back to your post,
though.

: >Of course, I recognize the need of some people to use such language,
: > and there are certainly places for such people to go...this newsgroup
: > for example.
:
: This newsgroup is on the internet.  If it WERE on AOL, you WOULDN'T
: allow the language.  You do so only because you have no choice.  And
: even then, you won't let them keep the name they chose to give it.

David, I'm not sure if you just didn't read what I said, or you're trying
to set up some sort of straw man.  Yes, this newsgroup is on the internet
and yes, if it were an America Online forum, such language would not be
allowed.  The point I made, which you apparently missed, was that people
who must use such language have a place to go other than America Online.

: You seem to think that if they're acquiescing, that means they like
: the policy.  As opposed to just not caring enough to object to it.

David, I don't understand why this concept boggles your mind so--the
members who don't like the policy, leave and go elsewhere.  Perhaps I
don't frequent the right places, but I don't find people using such
language in public places.  In the same way, foul language is not allowed
on America Online's public forums.  For people who avoid using foul
language in public, there's not any difference.

: "The freedom of speech may be taken away, and dumb and silent
: we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."  George Washington

An admirable statement which certainly applies to the government.  Of
course, America Online, or any other online service for that matter,
cannot take away someone's freedom of speech.

: Compare that with Brian's AOL user profile:
:
: "Ignorance is bliss . . . we are all happy people."

The quote I store in my profile is a commentary on some people's attitude
toward our government.  Are you trying to set up another straw man here?

Brian Carlisle
Capital Connection Host on AOL




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (Mark Miller)
Date: Mon, 12 Sep 1994 21:57:42

In article <351lnl$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (AnchorMan3)
writes:
>It may surprise you to know that I remove, on average, less than one post
>per week.  Of course, given your fervent attempt to prove that America
>Online censors ideas, it may also surprise you to see the wide variety of
>controversial subjects being convered in The Capital Connection.  Of
>course, we'll miss this little pearl of wisdom from [e-mail]
>(Godless):

 Dood, one post pulled = censorship, ideas or not.  Any service or individual
that finds it within themselves to claim a moral superiority by erasing
peoples' messages is one step away from being a TV evangelist (gag, retch).
(I must say though, I find your efforts to defend AOL to be quite
entertaining
- almost as entertaining as posts from most AOL's users!)...

 I dunno about the little guys, but here at PDS we don't presume to be
goody-goody enough to tell people that their posts are unacceptable.

-Mark Miller
Grand Poobah of Engineering,
Phoenix Data Systems; Internet Services Div.
"Houston's Premier Internet Services Provider"
  713-486-8337




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

 What I said was AOL-ers "support a commercial service indifferent to the
free and unfettered exchange of ideas."

You're missing my point, which is that ANYone using America Online is
accepting a level of censorship higher than what's found on the internet.
And paying money to the originators of that policy.

The word "censor" to describe America Online was first used by
the New York Times.  The second sentence of their front-page story:

"Even as thousands of Americans each week join the several million who use
computer networks to share ideas, the companies that control the networks,
and sometimes individual users, are beginning to play the role of censor.
Earlier this month, the America Online network shut several feminist
discussion forums..."

Now back to our flame.

> : >Earlier this month, the America Online network shut
> : >several feminist discussion forums, saying it was concerned
> : >that the subject matter might be inappropriate for young girls.
> :
> : New York Times, front page.  June 29.  The ideas are indeed
> : flowing quite freely...except when they aren't.

> I didn't read the article you mention,

Why don't you look in your goddamn New York Times area?  Oops--forgot.
They only have the "Dining" section.

>but the phrase "inappropriate for young girls" leads me to believe
>that feminism, if that was the original subject matter, was not the
>reason the room was closed.

They closed *several* forums, against the wishes of people EXCHANGING
INFORMATION.  These people felt the information was appropriate, but AOL
disagreed, and imposed their opinion.

This wouldn't happen on the internet.  The America Online spokesman quoted in
the New York Times said they were worried that young girls would "go in there
looking for information about their Barbies."  Thus, AOL acts boldly to
ensure the creation of an online service with an intellectual level
approaching that of Mattel toys.

>The point I made, which you apparently missed, was that people
>who must use such language have a place to go other than America Online.

The point I made is that this is available only by default.  Up
until earlier this year, people who wanted to use "such language" were
SOL if they wanted to post on AOL.

>it may also surprise you to see the wide variety of
>controversial subjects being convered in The Capital Connection.

You seem to think that by saying ""We talk politics in my forum" you've
proven America Online doesn't impose numerous restrictions on what you can
say.  Not true.

You've missed the point that AOL's terms of service identify
specific topics which shall not be discussed.

And what about the way AOL alters the names of newsgroups based on
whims--"alt.life.sucks" is okay, but "alt.aol-sucks" is not.
Justify that.



                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |            "Nice arena, Milo."          |
                          -----------------------------------------




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (AnchorMan3)

In article <353ei2$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

> What I said was AOL-ers "support a commercial service indifferent to
> the free and unfettered exchange of ideas."

And what I've been pointing out, and what you've apparently been missing,
is that the exchange of ideas goes on unfettered on America Online.  You
seem to want to equate the ability to cuss with the formation of ideas, a
specious link at best.

> You're missing my point, which is that ANYone using America Online is
> accepting a level of censorship higher than what's found on the
internet,
> and paying money to the originators of that policy.

I didn't miss your point.  I've already pointed out that there are places
for people to go if they don't like America Online's policies.  I am
pleased at your use of "accepting," implying that our members do indeed
"accept" our policies and that there is no "imposition" on our part as you
apparently want to claim.

Your quotation of the NY Times article is indeed helpful.  As you've
pointed out, the @Times service only contains certain information
which I've explained in a different thread.

> Earlier this month, the America Online network shut several
> feminist discussion forums...

First, a small point about terms needs to be made here.  The article is
obviously referring to a real-time chat room and not an actual forum.
While several AOL forums have discussions on feminism, no forums are
devoted specifically to that subject.  Had AOL actually closed any forums,
The Capital Connection would certainly have been among them since we
discuss feminism.

> The America Online spokesman quoted in the New York
> Times said they were worried that young girls would "go in
> there looking for information about their Barbies."

Did the article mention what the names of the rooms were?  Based on the
quote above, I find it unlikely that the discussions in question were
about feminism.  You, however, may continue believing what you will.
Meanwhile, feminist discussions will continue in The Capital Connection
and throughout America Online.

> The point I made is that this is available only by default.  Up
> until earlier this year, people who wanted to use "such language"
> were SOL if they wanted to post on AOL.

As I've pointed out previously, services have always existed that cater to
this need.  There's nothing to prevent these people from moving to another
service.

> You seem to think that by saying ""We talk politics in my forum"
> you've proven America Online doesn't impose numerous
> restrictions on what you can say.  Not true.

And you seem to think that these restrictions prevent the free flow of
ideas.  Not true.

As I've explained in a previous post, America Online's public message
boards are similar to any other public place.  I don't find people cussing
in the public places that I frequent; likewise, I don't find such public
posts on America Online.

> And what about the way AOL alters the names of newsgroups
> based on whims--"alt.life.sucks" is okay, but "alt.aol-sucks" is not.
> Justify that.

There's nothing to justify.  A click on the Internet Names icon shows the
name for all the newsgroups given descriptive titles.

Brian Carlisle
Capital Connection Host on AOL




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

: Your quotation of the NY Times article is indeed helpful.  As you've
: pointed out, the @Times service only contains certain information which
: I've explained in a different thread.

        Certain information, andcertain information is not included when
it says anything bad about AOL which might just enlighten it's users.
        A guy was taken off the system because he posted the article in
the message bases.  His account was deleted, as was his post.





Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


[e-mail] writes:

>> What I said was AOL-ers "support a commercial service indifferent to
>> the free and unfettered exchange of ideas."

>And what I've been pointing out, and what you've apparently been missing,
>is that the exchange of ideas goes on unfettered on America Online.

This all stems from anchorman misunderstanding what I mean by "indifferent
to the free exchange of ideas."  The fact that ideas are exchanged doesn't
mean that the provider isn't indifferent to ensuring that process.
But Anchorman stubbornly clings to his argument that we swapped ideas
once on "Capital Forum," therefore, America Online never censors anyone.

*I* feel that an online service that censors in even a few cases
could still be characterized as "indifferent to the free exchange of ideas,"
since, as I said earlier, they allow the ideas to flow, except when they
don't.  Just a little censorship....is still censorship.

>>You seem to think that by saying ""We talk politics in my forum" you've
>>proven America Online doesn't impose numerous restrictions on what you can
>>say.  Not true.

>And you seem to think that these restrictions prevent the free flow of
>ideas.  Not true.

Notice anchorman conveniently leaves out this part of my post:

>AOL's terms of service identify specific topics which shall not be
>discussed.

To repeat:  the fact that ideas are sometimes exchanged doesn't prove
that sometimes, they aren't--thanks to AOL's policies.  Indifferent to
the exchange of ideas means that they CAN be exchanged...sometimes, though
they will be prohibited at other times.

>I've already pointed out that there are places for people to go if they
>don't like America Online's policies.

I agree. CompuServe has "Human Sexuality" posting forums.  America Online
does not.  There are ideas that are being exchanged freely on CompuServe that
are not on America Online.  Case closed.

>I am pleased at your use of "accepting," implying that our members do indeed
>"accept" our policies and that there is no "imposition" on our part

You keep playing on the distinction between "accept" and "acquiesce".
Everyone but you apparently knows there are two meanings to the word
accept:

Definition One:  "To receive (something offered), esp. gladly."
Definition Two: "To bear up under resignedly or patiently:  'accept one's
fate'"

(Actual dictionary definitions)

But this guy makes it a point to force his own interpretation on what is
said.

He writes that my quoting the New York Times was "helpful," while ignoring
my point, which was that they also used the word "censor".

>>> I didn't read the article you mention,
>>
>>Why don't you look in your goddamn New York Times area?  Oops--forgot.
>>They only have the "Dining" section.

>As you've pointed out, the @Times service only contains certain information


>>They closed *several* forums, against the wishes of people EXCHANGING
>>INFORMATION.  These people felt the information was appropriate, but AOL
>>disagreed, and imposed their opinion.
>>This wouldn't happen on the internet.  The America Online spokesman quoted
>>in the New York Times said they were worried that young girls would "go in
>>there looking for information about their Barbies."  Thus, AOL acts boldly
>>to ensure the creation of an online service with an intellectual level
>>approaching that of Mattel toys.

>I find it unlikely that the discussions in question were
>about feminism.

That doesn't address what I said.

>> And what about the way AOL alters the names of newsgroups
>> based on whims--"alt.life.sucks" is okay, but "alt.aol-sucks" is not.
>> Justify that.

>There's nothing to justify.  A click on the Internet Names icon shows the
>name for all the newsgroups given descriptive titles.

Hello?  Why does AOL require some newsgroups to have a click, and some not?

Answer the question, or be forever branded a question-evader.


                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |        "I.E., come in.  Learn."         |
                          -----------------------------------------




Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (AnchorMan3)
Date: 14 Sep 1994 14:09:01 -0400

In article <355t4p$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

> This all stems from anchorman misunderstanding what I mean by
> "indifferent to the free exchange of ideas."  The fact that ideas
> are exchanged doesn't mean that the provider isn't indifferent to
> ensuring that process.

There is no misunderstanding.  The fact that ideas can be exchanged
without the use of profanity is central to the point that you seem to be
missing.


> But Anchorman stubbornly clings to his argument that we swapped
> ideas once on "Capital Forum," therefore, America Online never
> censors anyone.

More than once, David...constantly; again, more evidence that ideas can be
expressed without profanity.

> *I* feel that an online service that censors in even a few cases
> could still be characterized as "indifferent to the free exchange
> of ideas," since, as I said earlier, they allow the ideas to flow,
> except when they don't.  Just a little censorship....is still
> censorship.

If *you* cannot express your ideas under America Online's TOS, then *you*
have other service options--something I've been pointing out for some
time.


Of course, Capital Connection members will continue expressing
their ideas without having to use profanity.


: Notice anchorman conveniently leaves out this part of my post:
:
: >AOL's terms of service identify specific topics which shall not
: >be discussed.

I'm looking at the Online Conduct portion of the TOS right now and don't
see how it prevents the discussion of specific topics.


>>I beg to differ, David.  I host one of the more controversial forums on
>>America Online, The Capital Connection, and the ideas are indeed flowing
>>quite freely.

>With the following exceptions:
>
>>Member specifically agrees not to submit, publish, or display on America
>>Online any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene, profane, sexually
>>oriented, threatening, racially offensive, or illegal material; nor
>>shall Member encourage the use of controlled substances.
>>

: >I've already pointed out that there are places for people to go if
: > they don't like America Online's policies.
:
: I agree. CompuServe has "Human Sexuality" posting forums.  America
: Online does not.  There are ideas that are being exchange freely on
: CompuServe that are not on America Online.  Case closed.

America Online does have a Gay & Lesbian forum.

Furthermore, sexual issues are discussed in a wide variety of forums on
America Online.  To propose otherwise is inherently naive.

Before getting caught up in the non-argument about the difference between
forums and real-time chat rooms,


> He writes that my quoting the New York Times was "helpful," while
> ignoring my point, which was that they also used the word "censor".

I deemed your quoting of the article "helpful" because it showed how the
NY Times obviously misused the word "forum"







Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

In article <355t4p$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (David Cassel)
writes:

>> This all stems from anchorman misunderstanding what I mean by
>> "indifferent to the free exchange of ideas."  The fact that ideas
>> are exchanged doesn't mean that the provider isn't indifferent to
>> ensuring that process.

`>There is no misunderstanding.  The fact that ideas can be exchanged
>without the use of profanity is central to the point that you seem to be
>missing.

anchorman mis-interprets me again.

My point is they will still, sometimes, censor.  And not just because of
profanity.  Thus, your response "ideas can be exchanged without use of
profanity" is meaningless.

>> But Anchorman stubbornly clings to his argument that we swapped
>> ideas once on "Capital Forum," therefore, America Online never
>> censors anyone.

>More than once, David...constantly; again, more evidence that ideas can be
>expressed without profanity.

Yes, but zero evidence that they haven't censored numerous times on other
occassions.  For a relevance score of:   zero.

>> *I* feel that an online service that censors in even a few cases
>> could still be characterized as "indifferent to the free exchange
>> of ideas," since, as I said earlier, they allow the ideas to flow,
>> except when they don't.  Just a little censorship....is still
>> censorship.

>If *you* cannot express your ideas under America Online's TOS, then *you*
>have other service options--something I've been pointing out for some
>time.

Right.  We heard you.  I said "A little censorship...is still
censorship."  Instead of saying "No it isn't," you say "There
are other services."  Would you at least finish the thought?
Do you mean, "Other services, which don't censor, like we do?" or "Other
services, and therefore by virture of their existence, no *absolute*
deprivation of the ability to exchange ideas has occured."
How exactly does what you said correspond to what I'm saying?

>Of course, Capital Connection members will continue expressing
>their ideas without having to use profanity.

Big fucking deal.


>: Notice anchorman conveniently leaves out this part of my post:
>:
>: >AOL's terms of service identify specific topics which shall not
>: >be discussed.
>
>I'm looking at the Online Conduct portion of the TOS right now and don't
>see how it prevents the discussion of specific topics.

Again, Southern literacy problems.  I posted this already.

>>I beg to differ, David.  I host one of the more controversial forums on
>>America Online, The Capital Connection, and the ideas are indeed flowing
>>quite freely.

>With the following exceptions:
>
>>Member specifically agrees not to submit, publish, or display on America
>>Online any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene, profane, sexually
>>oriented, threatening, racially offensive, or illegal material; nor
>>shall Member encourage the use of controlled substances.
>>

Here's the line before it:

>Any action by a Member that, in AOL, Inc.'s sole opinion, restricts or
>inhibits other Members from using and enjoying America Online (such as but
>not limited to, the use of vulgar language; inappropriate screen names;
>committing, or discussing with the intention to commit, illegal activities),
>is strictly prohibited.

Example of why discussions of illegal activities should not be prohibited:

"I think Rosa Parks should go sit at the front of the bus."

: >I've already pointed out that there are places for people to go if
: > they don't like America Online's policies.
:
: I agree. CompuServe has "Human Sexuality" posting forums.  America
: Online does not.  There are ideas that are being exchange freely on
: CompuServe that are not on America Online.  Case closed.

>America Online does have a Gay & Lesbian forum.

I said posting forum.  Message boards.  Are you saying there's an area of
AOL where people can post messages about Gay & Lesbian issues?

>Furthermore, sexual issues are discussed in a wide variety of forums on
>America Online.  To propose otherwise is inherently naive.

If I understand correctly, sexual issues are never discussed in any public
message board forums on AOL, as they are on CompuServe.

>Before getting caught up in the non-argument about the difference between
>forums and real-time chat rooms,

Too late.

I'm getting tired of this.  Anchorman just reduces all my arguments to
"You wanna use dirty words."  I'm arguing about the principle of a higher
authority tinkering with anything I say (which doesn't happen on the
internet, but does on AOL), and especially about AOL tinkering with
content for reasons besides the use of profanity (which anchorman refuses
to address).

>> He writes that my quoting the New York Times was "helpful," while
>> ignoring my point, which was that they also used the word "censor".

>I deemed your quoting of the article "helpful" because it showed how the
>NY Times obviously misused the word "forum"

Actually, you deemed it helpful because you couldn't find the article on
your bogus online service because it only had the "Dining" section.

>Your quotation of the NY Times article is indeed helpful.  As you've
>pointed out, the @Times service only contains certain information which
>I've explained in a different thread.

But remember it any way you want.  (Certain information = "Dining"
section.)

Anchorman then says that the New York Times is wrong, and he's right.
Maybe the Decatur Times will set us all straight.

Finally, it's official.  Remember this?

>>There's nothing to justify.  A click on the Internet Names icon shows the
>>name for all the newsgroups given descriptive titles.

>Hello?  Why does AOL require some newsgroups to have a click, and some not?
>
>Answer the question, or be forever branded a question-evader.

Brian Carlisle
Capital Connection Host on AOL
is hereby christened a question-evader.

                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |           "I reel on, maniac."         |
                          -----------------------------------------







Subject: Re: AOL is really, really fly.
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

By the way, guys?  He's 22.

He's from Alabama.

How does it feel knowing topics from a national audience on current events
are being sifted through by a 22 year old in Decatur?

The reviews are in


[e-mail]
Jesus, can you READ?

[e-mail]
It seems Anchorman is quite adept at regurgitating the AOL party
line, but doesn't like to answer straight questions.

[e-mail]
(yer deputized, son.)


On this one:

[e-mail]
Jesus, can you READ?

You know the problems they have with literacy in the South.

The florid language, the skips of logic...these posts make alot more sense
if you read them with a drawl.


                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |           "I rein on a camel."          |
                          -----------------------------------------












Subject: Re: HELP! AOL is Slow -why?
From: [e-mail] (James M. Egelhof)

In article <3bafau$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Bell,
Gloria) writes:
> HELP!  Does anybody know why AOL is so slow?

Because it sucks.

[...]

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
 James M. Egelhof       Finger for PGP Public Key |  [e-mail]
 Opinions are mine alone - not even my hamsters'. |   [e-mail]
 Welcome to the "Information Superhighway"...     |     [e-mail]
                     AOL users, stay to the right!|           james@home
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------






Subject: Re: AOL + Netcom
From: [e-mail] (James M. Egelhof)

That would be unsuprising; netcom is so crippled already that it would be a
perfect fit for aol.





Subject: *talk* use on aol
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

[...]


By the way, you did a great job with egelhof's sig

>>------------------------------------------------------
--
>>--------------
>>|   James M. Egelhof    |
>>[e-mail]|  |  Horace Mann School   |
>>    [e-mail]|  |  Opinions
are
>>mine    | Welcome to the "Information
>Superhighway"...
>>|  | and not my hamsters'. |         AOL users, stay
to
>>the right!        |


What did you study at Horace Mann--cubism?

Finally, as was pointed out last time we flamed you for
the misspelling in  your sig, the actual quote is:

     "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds"

I think it's from Emerson's commencement address at Trenton State.

[e-mail]
     My opinions accurately represent those of the entire staff of
     the Horace Mann School.  They have appointed me their
     official spokesperson; forward any questions about school policies
     to me.




From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

[e-mail] writes:

: > can get a local access number

: You don't want an "access number"; you want a provider. [-20] (Cluelessness)

You missed it.

That unique brand of AOL cluelessness, all their own:

The "50 Ways to Leave AOL" thread is several months old.




Subject: Re: Boardwatch on AOL's MTV
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Excerpts from an article in the September issue of Boardwatch:

I WANT MY MTV! AND OTHER MONEY MATTERS ON AOL

Hey!  Yo!  Are you a middle-aged, fat-around-the-middle technogeek who
sits in front of a computer too many hours of the day?  Ever wanted to
transform yourself into a pimple-faced teenage puke who revels in spewing
nihilistic crap online to anyone who comes within screen-shot range!?
Well has AOL got a treat for you!









[...]

OBaol-sucks:  "Yell at MTV"...  need I say more?
Jimmie Farmer    | Come see the Malchicks Home Page!
523 N. C St. #7  | HTTP://www.eskimo.com/~calvin/
Tacoma, WA 98403 | Lots of great music links, including
[e-mail]| IUMA, and much info on my band!








Subject: Join AOL...Meet Puck!
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)
Date: 18 Dec 1994 16:59:22 -0800

Another visit to the AOL transcript archive...

The actual questions from when AOL offered its members the opportunity to
interact with MTV personality "Puck".

Question:       puck why are you sich a loser

Question:       Do you still smell like dog crap still?

Question:       what's the biggest scab you ever picked off?

Question:       What's the trick to snot shooting?

Question:       IS IT TRUE YOU'LL BE COMING OUT WITH YOUR OWN SCAB
                AND SNOT CANDY BAR?

Question:       Are you a boxer guy, or a brief guy?

Question:       Have you ever had sex with two women at once?

Question:       Would you have sex with Cory for 100000000 dollars?


AOL-er's and Puck.  What a team!  Don't miss the fun...Puck answered every
question!


Question:       what's the biggest scab you ever picked off?
MTV PUCK:       ummm, soap box accident, ripped my nipple off

Question:       What's the trick to snot shooting?
MTV PUCK:       it's in the finger against the nostril & angle of head

Question:       PUCK, IS IT TRUE YOU'LL BE COMING OUT WITH YOUR OWN SCAB
                AND SNOT CANDY BAR?
MTV PUCK:       Would you eat it?

Question:       Would you have sex with Cory for 100000000 dollars?
MTV PUCK:       I'd have sex with a cow for that much $$$$


The nation is swept by Puck-mania...

Question:       How do we know you're really Puck?
MTV PUCK:       cuz I love my butt

Question:       What do you like to do for fun except for soapbox derby ?
MTV PUCK:       beat off

Question:       why are you soooooo dirty? are you always like that?
MTV PUCK:       I don't think about dirt the same way as you, I have T-cells

Question:       PUCK DO YOU FEEL AS IF YOU SHOULD BE THE CENTER OF
                ATTENTION ALL THE TIME?
MTV PUCK:       especially when I masterbate

Question:       Puck, what kind of girl (or boy) do you like?
MTV PUCK:       I like fake t-ts
MTV PUCK:       they're like snocones


Ah...$3.50 well spent.





From: [e-mail] (James M. Egelhof)
Subject: Idiot City, USA (Teen Chat 5)
Date: Sun, 18 Sep 1994 00:01:29 -0400
Summary: Idiotic and racist transcript of a Teen Chat session.
Keywords: Idiots, Teen Chat

This is an actual Teen Chat transcript I got tonight. There is no interesting
conversation in it whatsoever. This is an unaltered, unmutilated transcript -
honestly!


--Transcript starts
You have just changed to room "Teen Chat 5".
Zen Dream  : hey

Jennife510 : *Droplet*

M Tindle   : WMU23-Iowa State19

Papaya5548 : no, I just like adding an air on mystery to myself!
             ;)

AlanT 1    : Does apple valley have a lot of apples, jenny

Zen Dream  : nice droplet

Jennife510 : yea

Vsion      : paps: ooooh..

Vsion      : :)

Balmy4     : IM WHITE & PROUD

DR 187     : i ain't 48 dumbass

Jennife510 : thanks

GhenKhan   : Hey punk dont say the N word!

Papaya5548 : nigga please?

Papaya5548 : ooooh, what?

Vsion      : one nigga... that'll bee...

Northbrew  : talk to me, send me an im

Vsion      : paps: oooh... you're so mysterious..

GhenKhan   : Papaya,He just thinks hes an OG

Vsion      : :)

M Tindle   : Ohio Sate 27-Pitt 3

DR 187     : nigga ,nigga,nigga,nigga,nigga

GOGAMA     : ANYONE 13/F

AlanT 1    : :-{

Papaya5548 : isn't that OJ? :) jk

Zen Dream  : shutup dr

Suthrnplay : Hello ladies 2 guys here want to talk to you

Balmy4     : GET OFF THE NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGER

Balmy4     : SHIT

Vsion      : uhh..

M Tindle   : Grand Valley won

Papaya5548 : you get down wit your funky self

AlanT 1    : shit more

GhenKhan   : Hey DR if your so down tell me what Magnolia is

Suthrnplay : Chill wit the racism punk

AlanT 1    : 49 to 7

DR 187     : it's nigga not niggeR

Jennife510 : hi Suthrnplay

Vsion      : paps: so... what kinda music d'you listen to?

M Tindle   : Franklin beat K-College

Balmy4     : BEER BEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEER

Niki 16    : Hi

Papaya5548 : alternative

Vsion      : oK..

AlanT 1    : Mike Eddies won the race

Jennife510 : @}-->-->--here is another rose for each of the guys
             in here

Balmy4     : DR U STILL THERE

GhenKhan   : Im tired wit da gansta shit lived in it for 4 years,

Vsion      : danka

DR 187     : I DON'T KNOW

Zen Dream  : how old are you really papaya

CYBERSLED  : thanks jenn

GhenKhan   : Alternative is pretty down

KROQ  LA   : any girls here around 14?

Balmy4     : JENNER LETS FUCK

Papaya5548 : um...check my profile

Suthrnplay : What's up Jenn,

Karen10558 : i am 14

Sprinter1  : Hello all! What's up? Does anyone else here swim
             competitively? if so, IM me.

Jennife510 : your welcome

Papaya5548 : I SWIM!!!

GhenKhan   : KLSX clasic rock

CYBERSLED  : age

DR 187     : afro puffs

Vsion      : i used to swim..

Karen10558 : 14/f

Balmy4     : LETS FUCK SITCH

CYBERSLED  : afro puffs suck

Vsion      : i used to be an olympic doggey paddler..

DR 187     : you suck

GhenKhan   : Me too my swim team sponsered by SAPPORO BEER

M Tindle   : HIghland Chrysler, Pyymouth

Karen10558 : balmy you are disgusting!!!

Balmy4     : NIGGGGGGGGER SUCH

Suthrnplay : jenn this is jason whats up

CYBERSLED  : sh_t

Niki 16    : Too many low class people in here.  I'm going to look
             for a room with white people in it

Sprinter1  : IM me if you swim!

Vsion      : niki: what?

AlanT 1    : hey tindle , rush blows

GhenKhan   : Hey theres KAREN

Jennife510 : nothing much and wdith you ]

Balmy4     : IM WHITE

Papaya5548 : why does it matter what color people are?

DR 187     : go for it niki

Vsion      : balmy: who cares?

GhenKhan   : That was funny vision

Suthrnplay : how old are you jenn

Vsion      : niki: how do you associate color with low class?

Balmy4     : GET THE FUCK OFF DR PLEAS

Jennife510 : 16

DR 187     : you sayin'black people are low class

GhenKhan   : Really it was youre pretty cool man

Sprinter1  : Did you really swim in the olympics vsion?

DEJOE J    : any 14/f

AlanT 1    : Anyone for computer sex?????????????????????

Balmy4     : NO

Vsion      : sprinter:  heh... no... doggey paddle?  I don't think
             that's an event.. but I may be mistake

Vsion      : n.

GhenKhan   : NO

Balmy4     : YES

Papaya5548 : Alan, and I thought you were cool

AlanT 1    : I wasn't talking to U asshole

GhenKhan   : \

Y3y38975   : Hello...

Well, that's enough of that. If you think Haydie or Indigo is stupid, look at
these losers...


 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
|   James M. Egelhof    |                           [e-mail]|
|  Horace Mann School   |             [e-mail]|
|  Opinions are mine    | Welcome to the "Information Superhighway"... |
| and not my hamsters'. |         AOL users, stay to the right!        |
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Finger for PGP key - The views in this message are the poster's alone.



Subject: Idiot City, USA (Teen Chat 5)
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

It just goes to show you that randomly sampling any AOL chat room will prove
AOL is a festering hell-hole of the mentally-deficient.

Egelhoff's post brought back memories of my net debut as an
AOL-hater in alt.cyberspace...

              { Begin "remembering the past" sequence }

O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O

[e-mail] writes:
Alot of AOL users probably have no on-line experience.  A few months ago AOL
launched a marketing campaign mailing AOL software to a mailing-list of
computer-owners.  All I know is they got so many trial accounts they overloaded
their existing hardware.

Also, many other AOL users are first-time computer buyers.  When I bought a new
IBM PS/1 in December, I found the AOL software came pre-installed, along with
Windows--a cute little AOL icon, right next to "Clock".  There was even a
special "PS/1 Support" icon which, if you clicked it, also took you into AOL,
to their IBM Support" section.  (Which would then tell you there was was no one
there because it was after five o'clock or a weekend.)

On the ignorance of AOL users...maybe something about AOL's presentation
encourages mindless behavior.  "It's easy, it's fun!  Don't think...just
click!"  Plus, since everything else there is pre-packaged, maybe users feel
they've already abdicated responsibility...My biggest gripe about AOL were the
egotistical "Guides" monitoring the public chat rooms to make sure no one said
anything they shouldn't.  (Example:  NetCom's number.)



O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O

{ "Then a defensive AOL former Guide started to argue by picking apart
a minor point..."}

O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O

[e-mail] writes:
>My biggest gripe about AOL were the egotistical "Guides" monitoring the public chat
>rooms to make sure no one said anything they shouldn't.  (Example:  NetCom's
>number.)

Having been a Guide once - several years back - I can tell you that AOL
did *not* instruct Guides to prevent users from mentioning competitors
phone numbers. (If any current Guides know different, please let us know.)


O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O

{ "Our intrepid AOL-hating newcomer did not give up.  Contemplating the AOL
underling's words, he formulated a plan of action.  Days later, his response
was posted..." }

O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O


I still have my AOL account; In the interest of science, I re-entered
GUI-land.  Here's a transcript from a chatroom.  [I condensed it and edited
out the names; the rest is verbatim.]


GUIDE:  We were just wondering when THE REST of the wise, witty, . . .
                and above aveage people were going to show up!
ME:             AOL Sucks!  I think we should all get Netcom!  1-800-501-8649!
User1:          wake up Mare!
User2:          some body wake up Mare
GUIDE:          Commercial Advertising is a violation of Terms of Service.
                Please read them now. Ke
GUIDE:          TOS    [sic]
USER3:          I say we play trivia again, Guide do you have any trivia
                questions for us?
GUIDE:          Go read KEYWORD: TOS now!!!!!
User3:          hello pam<-------------------------
ME:             Whoops!  You mean I *can't* just come in here and post Netcom's
                1-800 number?
User4:          hi kevin!!
GUIDE:          Exactly.
User5:          im from naperville


This is fun.  One more; this one's from this morning:

GUIDE:  Please, DO NOT under any circumstances give out your password or
                credit information to anyone online!  AOL staff will NEVER ask
                for such information online. If you have given your
                password...to someone, change it immediately at
                Keyword: PASSWORD
AOL-User1:      tahnk you\
AOL-User1:      I meant thank you
AOL-User2:      thanks Guide
AOL-User3:      thanks guide you are a sir and a gentleman
ME:             AOL sucks!  Get real internet access--Netcom.  1-800-501-8649
AOL-User1:      may I ask where everyone is located?
AOL-User4:      Gee.  Sounds like an advertisement.
ME:             You got a problem with advertisements?
GUIDE:          Advertising isn't allowed here.
AOL-User4:      Sic em, Guide.
ME:             You mean I can't give out Netcom's number?
GUIDE:          That's right
AOL-User5:      Central FL
AOL-User1:      hello nieghbor? How's Mickey?


O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-o-O

                               { Forward, into the present... }

And there I had it.  Proof that the ex-Guide flaming me hadn't
understood his own carrier's policies, even though he had been enforcing
them.  (This Guide was from Iowa.  I think AOL seeks out Guides in states with
below-average intelligence levels-Alabama, New Jersey...)

Unfortunately, to give it added credibility, I posted it from an AOL account,
and the wacky word-wrap made it completely illegible.

Oh, well.  Its fun to relive the surreal swirl of mind-numbing stupidity.


                          ---------------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Stupid Quote Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |        "hello nieghbor? How's Mickey?"       |
                          ---------------------------------------------









Screen Name:    Adel23
Member Name:    Ida Adele Worthington IV
Location:       Santa Cruz, CA
Birthdate:      5/18/77
Sex:            Female
Marital Status: Single
Computers:      Yes.
Hobbies:        Trolling the Netters, KSCO-AM (1080)
Occupation:     Student (Grad) Yale, abnormal psychology of the netters and such.
Quote:  "I am president of the James Egelhof Fan Club.  Also the Dan Quayle
Fan Club."






Subject: Well look at what I found.......
From: [e-mail] (Prf Indigo)

Well tonight, I did a little poking around, and look at what I saw......

>Screen Name:   JEgelhof
>Member Name:   James "Hamster" Egelhof
>Location:      Larchmont, NY USA
>Birthdate:     1/9/78
>Sex:   Male
>Marital Status:        Single
>Computers:     Apple Macintosh PowerBook Duo 230
>Hobbies:       Abusing newspaper editors, despising Mac haters,
>promoting world socialism, and other such subversive activities.
>Occupation:    Professional pimp (and student at Horace Mann School on
the
>side)
>Quote: "Die. Now."

We are being yelled and screamed at by some stupid 16 year old kid.  No,
he's not your average 16 year old....  He is a pimp, wants socialism, and
is a mac user!

All platform issues aside, this group is being terrorized by a 16 year old
kid who totally lacks a clue.  Maybe he is smarter than the average 16
year old, but he is showing himself to be really nothing more than a snot
nosed punk.  Shall we all join together and snail mail packets of his four
letter word filled posts to his mommy?  I wonder if she would like to see
them, since she is probably paying for his Panix account.

I'm no fan of censorship, but I think this kid has gone far beyond the
accepted norm for flames.  Now, not only does he flame AOL users (which he
is one of, see above), he flames anything that moves.  Anyone else recall
the article he posted about Haydie's lack of sexual attractiveness?  If
anyone has a copy of that one, I would love to have it emailed to my
[e-mail] address....

--jason
More commonly and widely known as [e-mail] (World Leader
Pretend)



<Egelhof responds by posting a .GIF of Jason from AOL's gallery>



Subject: Re: Prf Indigo's head?
From: [e-mail] (Jeffrey Harper)

In <34i6fs$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Tecumseh) writes:

> That's one BIIIIIG head.
> You must have some highly developed neck muscles.

Those aren't neck muscles, it's his 3 chins...

--
Jeffrey Harper
NetWerks Inc.
Long Beach, CA USA
[e-mail]






Subject: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail]

Real cute.  He posted a GIF of me.  Wow.

Consider the reason his profile got posted.  This little 16 year old punk
constantly belittles _anyone_ with an AOL account.  He just happens to be
an AOL user.  Not everyone takes the time to finger everyone they read
articles from, so it is entirely possible that one may not realize that
[e-mail], [e-mail] and the former [e-mail]
all are one in the same.

Since he sees fit to cut down anyone with an AOL account, I thought it
only fit to show him to be one of what he claims to hate.  If he hates
AOL so bad, why does he (or his mommy and daddy) send the $10 a month to AOL?

Posting such a large binary to a discussion group is quite a violation of
netiquette.

--
Jason Costomiris        | This is my world and I am World Leader Pretend...
[e-mail]| Finger for PGP Public Key
[e-mail]       +---------------+ Ask me what the TEACHER
I speak for me.  Just me.  Nobody else. | PAGER is!!




Subject: Re: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail] (Robert F. O'shaughnessy)

In article <345q3s$[e-mail]>,
World Leader Pretend <[e-mail]> wrote:
>Posting such a large binary to a discussion group is quite a violation of
>netiquette.  Posting a GIF of me was a cheesey move.  I think James
>should be careful of what he says and does in the future.

        WAAAAAAAAANNNNNNHHHHH!!!



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<"Bite me! It's
Fun!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Bob O'Shaughnessy,                            ( )   | "The one thing that the
[e-mail]                  <I    |  world will not have
[e-mail] (prefered)     /#%#\  |  enough of is
72632,432 (Compu$erve)                      ^ #%# ^ |  exaggeration"
"A proud sentient, since 1970"               / | \  |        -Salvador Dali

1234567990123456799012345679901234567990123456799012345679901234567901234567990





Subject: Re: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

Beware of people who use this phrase:

: I'm no fan of censorship, but

:I'm no fan of censorship, but I think this kid has gone far beyond the
:accepted norm for flames.


:Anyone else recall the article he posted about Haydie's lack of sexual
:attractiveness?

This is obviously a sensitive subject for you, Jason.  I can
see why.




Subject: Re: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Quoting [e-mail]:

:Posting such a large binary to a discussion group is quite a violation of
:netiquette.

Jason wishes this were true.

:Posting a GIF of me was a cheesey move.

I thought it was pretty classy.

:I think James should be careful of what he says and does in the future.

AOL employee tries to intimidate free-thinking net user.  Math teacher beats
up on sixteen-year old.

Egelhoff got you.  Get over it.




Subject: Re: Listen up Stevie
From: [e-mail] (Jason Costomiris)
>[e-mail] (James M. Egelhof) writes:
>
>Your intelligence does credit to Rutgers. I am sure Costormis is quite proud
>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^

If you are going to use my name in articles, spell it correctly.  Watch
very carefully.  I will spell it for you.

C - O - S - T - O - M - I - R - I - S.

That's Costomiris.  Have a nice day.
--
Jason Costomiris                  | The disappointed disappear, like they
[e-mail]          |    were never here.....
I speak for me, just me.  If you  |
thought otherwise, you were wrong.|            -Corgan 1993





From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)
Subject: Re: Listen up Stevie
>[e-mail] writes:
>>[e-mail] (James M. Egelhof) writes:
>>
>>Your intelligence does credit to Rutgers. I am sure Costormis is quite proud
>>                                                    ^^^^^^^^^
>
>If you are going to use my name in articles, spell it correctly.  Watch
>very carefully.  I will spell it for you.
>
>D - E - N - T - H - E - A - D.
>
>That's Costomiris.  Have a nice day.
>--
>Jason Costomiris                  | The disappointed disappear, like they
>[e-mail]         |    were never here.....
>I speak for me, just me.  I have  |
>no girlfriend.  You were right.   |            -S Case 1993


Yeah, get it right, Egelhoff.




Subject: Re: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

[...]

:Anyone else recall the article he posted about Haydie's lack of sexual
:attractiveness?  If anyone has a copy of that one, I would love to
:have it emailed to my [e-mail] address....

Of course, sexual attractiveness is obviously a sensitive topic for you,
Jason.




Subject: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: [e-mail]

Ouch.  Is there a slaughter rule here?   Well then, I hereby invent one.
Hausman, YOU LOSE!   I suggest you put ice on that ego, go home, and read
Plato's Symposium.   There you will find several excellent tips for
seducing young boys; your current method doesn't seem to be working.

_______________________________________________________________________
     (Miss)          |"As I wander through the catacombs, who can say
[e-mail] | which is the more terrifying sight: the emptied
[e-mail]   skulls or the withered hearts?" - Balzac (on AOL)
_______________________________________________________________________







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

<In response [e-mail]'s bogus questions>

[...]

Say, if I wanted one of the cool GIF's from the Usenet binary
groups, could I do it using AOL without getting a general
protection fault?  No?  Well what can I get from AOL?  What?
The portrait of a New Jersey math teacher?

What I really, really want is a hat with the AOL logo on it.
Is there someplace I could get one, for, say, more than twelve
dollars?

[...]
                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |           "I.E., inane clamor."         |
                          -----------------------------------------






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friend.

This vibrant cobalt blue mug holds a full 12 oz.
and features the America Online logo on front and
back.  Microwave safe.  Each mug is only $6.95
plus $2.00 postage and handling.





From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

: Indeed. I must say, however, that I find it even more amusing that a
: delphi user is posting in the anti-AOL zone. Weren't you last week's
: scapegoat?

>Ah, it's a beautiful thing to be =yesterday's= scapegoat. Now you get to
>be in on all the fun you were missing when Delphi was the whipping boy of
>the net!

Mr. Toxic, you post the same thing every time I post.

>>You obviously have no idea who Flem Snopes was.
>Care to elighten me?

Flem Snopes is a character recurring in the works of William Faulkner.

The Snopes family moved in to Yoknawpatawpha county.  Though
they were obviously white trash, there were so many of them,
and their ignorance made them so brazen, that they
eventually ended up owning half the town.

(Flem Snopes was the first of them.  He ended up owning the
grandest mansion in the county--which he then ambivalently
sold as part of a real estate swindle.)

Faulkner won his Nobel prize for literature shortly after
completing the Snopes trilogy.




Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)


A friend of mine tested out America Online's Homework Helper.  He
forwarded the results.

Refresh your memory:  Flem Snopes occurs in not one but three
novels by William Faulkner, as well as numerous short stories.  After
completing the first of these novels, "The Hamlet," Faulkner received the
Nobel Prize for literature, for which he wrote his famous speech.

My friend wrote to the America Online Homework Helper...


: I saw this address in "Internet World".  Can I really ask you questions?
:
: Who was Flem Snopes?  What books should I read to learn more about Flem
: Snopes?


Someone from the literature department of America Online's homework helper
wrote back...


: You bet!
:
: We have over 600 teachers here to help you!
:
: Send us your email :))


Nothing but smiley faces.  So he wrote back...


: I wrote:
:
: >I saw this address in "Internet World".  Can I really ask you questions?
: >
: >Who was Flem Snopes?  What books should I read to learn more about Flem
: >Snopes?
:
: You wrote:
:
:
: >You bet!
: >
: >We have over 600 teachers here to help you!
: >
: >Send us your email :))
:
: Um, okay.  Who was Flem Snopes?  What books should I read to
: learn more about Flem Snopes?


This was the response he got back:


: Opps!   Sorry - I couldn't find anything  :((




America Online just keeps getting better and better.

They even misspelled "oops."






Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: World Domination in 5 Easy Steps <[e-mail]>

>: Opps!   Sorry - I couldn't find anything  :((

This is a problem that is attributed to the work of a bad forwarder.
That person has been corrected.  That is, he sent the question to an
improper group of instructors.  We are sorry for this, and it won't
happen again.  Keep your flames to yourselves, this is a dead issue.



Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

[e-mail] writes:

: >: Opps!   Sorry - I couldn't find anything  :((

: This is a problem that is attributed to the work of a bad forwarder.
: That person has been corrected.  That is, he sent the question to an
: improper group of instructors.  We are sorry for this, and it won't
: happen again.  Keep your flames to yourselves, this is a dead issue.

Bite me.

The woman identified herself as Arts Chair.

Would the bad forwarder have explained the smileys, the misspellings, and the
unanswered questions in the first post?




Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail]

[e-mail] writes:

>Bite me.

Not on a bet loser...

>The woman identified herself as Arts Chair.

This is explained by the bad forwarder.  Why should Literature questions
get sent to the Art department?

Really, why the hell should I care if the Art Chair can't spell, uses
lots of emoticons, and can't help you with Literature.




Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

Slainte is funny.

: >The woman identified herself as Arts Chair.

: This is explained by the bad forwarder.  Why should Literature questions
: get sent to the Art department?

That's a joke, right?  Arts Chair as in Liberal Arts, Arts and Humanities...

That's the whole gist of his response:

: >Would the bad forwarder have explained the smileys, the misspellings, and
: >the unanswered questions in the first post?

: Really, why the hell should I care if the Art Chair can't spell, uses
: lots of emoticons, and can't help you with Literature.

Arts Chair.  The woman's handle is "SpeakCoach."

Her AOL profile doesn't list her occupation as teacher, interestingly.
However, her hobbies are Presentation skills [speech], musical
theatre, and writing.
             ~~~~~~~

Let's sum up:  NOT art teacher.  Arts chair.  Can't spell.  Knows nothing
about literature.  Idea of art is a smiley face with two chins.




Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

[spatch points out that all the homework helpers have double chins.  They go
from :)) to :((

Maybe it was supposed to be a Picasso.






Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

slainte refuses to admit Homework Helper couldn't answer question until I prove
that "Arts Chair" means something besides finger-painting.

Okay



Subj:   Re: Homework Helper
Date:   94-09-30 11:20:44 EDT
From:   SpeakCoach

>>>I hear you work for the Homework Helper on AOL.  Do you answer art
questions, or questions about THE arts--literature, writing, etc.<<<

Yes :))   How can I help you?

Lilly Walters,
(aka SpeakCoach)
Arts Chair





Subj:   Fwd: Homework Helper
Date:   94-10-01 12:09:17 EDT
From:   SpeakCoach

>>>Someone told me you can't answer liberal arts questions.  Were they being
really stupid?<<<


We have a whole TEAM to help you on liberal arts!




BTW, Slainte:  I checked out that U.S. News and World Report
article.  You neglected to mention that for that region, U.S. News & World
Report ranked Trenton State 114th in alumni satisfaction.

It's no wonder.  Apparently, alot of their alumni become self-deceiving
math teachers.







Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: World Domination in 5 Easy Steps <[e-mail]>

Give me a Liberal Arts question, if one really exists.  I will have a
group to send it to.  It will be a SUBJECT group.  Oh yeah, quit that
damn humming...

>- spatch, and what about physical therapy? -

Jeez, uh, maybe we'd send that to the.......  physical therapy group.  It
is my honor to present you with your quarter.  Go use the clue-phone.

If you have a question regarding the las, it goes to our
legal experts.  Get it yet?



Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (Jewel_

spatch wrote:

>But I'm going to use that quarter to bet you there IS no physical therapy
>group on the AOL Homework Helper.


If there was, the AOL crowd would probably think that was the place to go
for advice on sex.
--
        / 51% Sweetheart \
Jewel--<  49% Bitch       >
        \ Don't Push It! /




Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)


Jason:
: If you have a question regarding the las, it goes to our
: legal experts.  Get it yet?

I have a question for your legal experts.  What's las?





Re: AOL Homework Helper
    From: World Domination in 5 Easy Steps <[e-mail]>
    Date: 1 Oct 1994 20:49:09 -0400    (Page 1 of 2)
    Responding to: <[e-mail]>

[e-mail] writes:

>Jason:
>: If you have a question regarding the las, it goes to our
>: legal experts.  Get it yet?
>
>I have a question for your legal experts.  What's las?

The 'las' is one key away from the 'law' (even I am not perfect).

Give me the name (in email) of the person who told you we have a 'liberal
arts' department.





Subject: AOL Homework Helper
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)


Some AOL flunky writes... Oh, wait, it was [e-mail]:

: Give me the name (in email) of the person who told you we have a 'liberal
: arts' department.

What do you want it for?

Besides, if you were paying attention, you'd realize I'd already posted it.
Send me e-mail if you still need it.  Or if you need help finding your dick.

: (even I am not perfect).

Like we thought otherwise?  (The dent in the head kind of gives it away.)

: Give me a Liberal Arts question, if one really exists.  I will have a
: group to send it to.

You mean like, "Who was Flem Snopes?"

Nah....I think it would be a waste of time.

In fact--I *know* it would be.

Flashback:
:     Opps!   Sorry - I couldn't find anything  :((


Everything that comes into contact with AOL soon begins to suck.





From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

You've been had.

Dana Carvey plays a character on Saturday Night Live called
"The Church Lady".  Compare that with Church1ady's AOL profile:

Screen Name:    Church1ady
Member Name:    Enid
Location:       Bible Belt
Birthdate:      Sunday
Hobbies:        Superior Dancing and Thwapping Satan
Occupation:     Church Lady
Quote:    Isn't that special and Hmmmmm perhaps Satan!!!


Hell, the teacher who couldn't identify Flem Snopes was more of a
Christian than Church1ady.

Quote:  "With a grateful prayer and a thankful heart!"

Knows nothing about literature, but hey...





From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

<Responding to a post in another newsgroup in which AOL-er [e-mail]
 suggests everyone contributes part of a story, like Dorothy Parker>


[e-mail]:

: Hugh offered politely, with no concrete plan in mind, then he noticed the
: heavy wood-backed hairbrush sitting on the low end table in front of his
: grandmother....

Hugh went upstairs, when suddenly, he heard a noise from Angela's room.
Opening the door, he found both Angela and Marie.  They had erected a
gallows in Angela's room, complete with noose.  Suspended from the noose
was the dangling corpse of a woman named Ginger.

"What you doin' with that hairbrush, Hugh?"

"Um...nothing."

Grandma knocked on the door.

"Marie?  Angela?"

"Leave us alone!"

"Angela?  What are you doing in there?"

"Um...we're playing a game!"

"What KIND of game?"

"One that the nice people on AOL taught us."

"What game is that?"

Desperately, eyes darting around.   "Um.....hangman!"

The ghost of Dorothy Parker slithered through a hole in the floorboards.  Her
spectral disembodied form glowed and hovered.  Quickly moving to the
decomposing body, swinging idly in the breeze, she drifted up to the gallows.
She spit once on the swinging corpse, then disappeared

I returned to my bedroom.  I turned on the light--only to find a startled
figure going through Grandma's wallet.

"Steve Case?!  What are YOU doing here?"

"Um...nothing."

"And what are you doing with Grandma's wallet?"

"I thought it would save a little time?"

I considered this.  "Okay.  Get out of here."

He tripped and bashed his head on the window sill on the way
out.






From: [e-mail] (Dale Ott)


> : >In article <34gesm$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Rimshot
> : >G) writes:
> : >
> : >>>>AOl has 1 million people!<<<
> : >

As someone on the net already pointed out:

One million idiots does not a wise man make!... or something like that.





Subject: Re: Aol has 1 million people
From: [e-mail] (Rajwinder Singh)
Date: 29 Sep 1994 05:56:35 GMT


: >In article <34gesm$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Rimshot
: >G) writes:
: >
: >>>>AOl has 1 million people!<<<
: >
                The damn numbers !!!  Mass culture ....

                R.





From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Announcing the official alt.aol-sucks rebuttal contest, to
terminate the AOL argument that the number of users AOL has
indicates their worth as an on-line service:

In the future, whenever an AOL-er brings up their one million
users, quote the offender, and post one word in response:

Baywatch


The first user posting this message receives a free x-rated
FTP site, an alt.aol-sucks T-Shirt, or a black velvet
painting of professor indigo.


                          -----------------------------------------
 [e-mail]         |    The America Online Anagram Contest   |
man of 1,000 sigs        |           "A liar come nine."           |
                          -----------------------------------------





Date: Sat, 22 Oct 1994 20:07:32 -0500
From: Thomas Parker <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: Help Me

In article <389cqq$[e-mail]> Adel23, [e-mail] writes:
> SO WHAT- CAN 1,000,000 FAMILIES ALL BE WRONGS AND STUPID??

Baywatch.

thomas








Subject: Re: The AOL logo
From: [e-mail] (maxw)

Spatch ([e-mail]) wrote:

: a Joel Furr and make a t-shirt for this group, on the front would be
: the AOL logo in a circle with a slash through it, and on the back it would
: read:

:                           alt.aol-sucks

:                   1,000,000 users CAN be wrong!


I love it! I'd buy one in a second. I have  quite a few associates at my
workplace with AssHOle accounts, and they are always trying to get me too
sign up, "Just for my ten free hours, too see if I like it."

I tried to explain the joys of the internet to them, but the are
McDonalds consumers till the bloody end. It's sad when former friends
drown in an ocean of stupidity. They seem articulate at work, but somehow
they can't figure out how to e-mail me a message out of Amerikkka Off-Line.
A t-shirt like the forementioned would be perfect to wear to work.

[e-mail]  -Land of the freak, home of the slave!
Paranoid? Finger me for my key.




Subject: Re: The AOL logo
From: [e-mail] (Mike Holliday)

 -=> Quoting SpatulaAllwain.ucs.umass.e to All <=-

 Sp> I have access to a little button-making machine.  I was thinking of
 Sp> making one with the AOL logo in a circle with a slash through it.
 Sp> Either that or "ICONS?!  We don't NEED no steenkin' ICONS!"  I really
 Sp> wanna pull a Joel Furr and make a t-shirt for this group, on the front
 Sp> would be the AOL logo in a circle with a slash through it, and on the
 Sp> back it would read:

 Sp> alt.aol-sucks

 Sp> 1,000,000 users CAN be wrong!

 Sp> what do you think, sirs?

 How about adding something like:

 If AOL Sucked, at least it would be good for something!

 Keep us posted on the T-shirt idea...I'd probably get one myself...

... OXYMORON: Macintosh Computer
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12

--
-------------  HHb dHH .dHHb. HHHHb. HHb dHH .dHHb. HHb HH  -------
[e-mail]  HH W'HH HH  HH HH  HH HH`W'HH HH  HH HHH.HH  Toronto
Mike Holliday  HH   HH HHHHHH HH  HH HH   HH HHHHHH HH HHH  Canada
-------------  HH   HH HH  HH HHHHP' HH   HH HH  HH HH  HH  -------





From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

AOL prominently displayed "A letter from Steve Case" as an option on
user "Welcome" screens this week.

Let's share the love.

>Dear Members,
>
>I want to assure you that we're not resting on our accomplishments.  Not for
>a second.  We know there's still **much** to be done to make AOL all it
>can be.  We'll continue to be self-critical, and obsessed with meeting
>your needs.  We want every one of you to be proud to be part of AOL.
>
>Warm regards,
>
>Steve Case

I'M assuming that was *intentional* irony.  The rest of it was just as bad.
I hate the whole tone of it--smarmy, patronizing.  Steve Case gets
over-intimate...it reads like a bad Christmas card.  The opening says it all.

>I hope you've all had a terrific summer -- we've certainly had a great one
>here at AOL!

                                             <>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>
         [e-mail] says:               |  Ebg va uryy.   |
                                             <>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>








From: [e-mail] (Spatch)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity


>A letter from Steve Case, President and CEO of America Online, Inc.

Or, as some would have it, Dick Weed.

>September 1, 1994
>
>Dear Members,

My name is Dave Rhodes.

>
>I hope you've all had a terrific summer -- we've certainly had a great one
>here at AOL!

We went to the beach a few times, and had a teriffic weekend camping with
the Torklesons.  Little Steve Jr. came down with a bad case of poison ivy,
but we warned him against pissing in the funny bushes...

>              As you may have heard, we recently passed

... a kidney stone the size of La Jolla.

>                                                        the 1 million member
>mark.  To put that in perspective, at this time last year we had just over
>300,000 members.  So the AOL community has more than tripled in size over the
>past year.

My theory is correct.  AOL is a deadly strain of bacteria.

>           I'd like to thank each of you for your interest and support --
>and for your patience when we've encountered growing pains!

Like tons of hate e-mail every day.

>
>In addition to growing rapidly, we've also won a number of awards and been
>the beneficiary of some glowing reviews.

>From people who know diddley-squat about computers.

>                                          For example, the current issue of
>PC Computing magazine rated AOL the best of the online services, based on
>usability testing.

Of course, this is nothing when you realize these are the same folks who
think Windows is the wave of the future.

>
>Although we're certainly pleased with the growth and we do appreciate the
>accolades, we take it all with a grain of salt.  I want to assure you that
>we're not resting on our accomplishments.  Not for a second.

That's cause there ain't much to rest on.

>                                                              We know there's
>still **much** to be done to make AOL all it can be.

And that, my friends, is the Understatement that Ate Cleveland.

>                                                      We'll continue to be
>self-critical, and obsessed with meeting your needs.  We want every one of
>you to be proud to be part of AOL.

Because SOMEONE'S gotta be at the bottom of the food chain.

>
>Over the next six months, we expect to introduce more new features than we
>ever have before.  This will enable us to improve AOL in a number of
>important ways, including:

We will actually pay our temp workers minimum wage.

>
>- expanding the diversity of content (work is underway to enhance just about
>every area of the service, including news, reference, personal finance,
>games, shopping, sports, etc.)

Hey, doesn't the McDonald's area cover that?

>
>- improving the presentation and navigation (the "new AOL" will look better
>and work better -- so it will be easier for you to find the services that are
>of greatest value to you)

Yes, dear friends, instead of that bothersome and intellect-draining
"Point and click" method that you are all find SO hard to use, we are
working on a NEW voice-activation system!

You: "Jump to alt.fan.iconoclast."
AOL: "*beep* Posting MAKE.MONEY.FAST."

>
>- expanding our Internet access to include the most-requested capability,
>access to the World Wide Web (also referred to sometimes as "Mosaic"
>support),

Uh, those are two ENTIRELY differnet things, Stevedore.  You're purposefully
confuddling the minds of the AOL minions.  Shame on you!

>          as well as adding other popular Internet features such as file
>transfer (ftp)

Oh great.  Now AOL'ers, too, can join in the "Where can I find erotica ftp
sites?" chant.

>               and direct connections to other systems (telnet)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
NO NO NO NO NO NO!
*bangs head against keyboard*
asflkdag48ghksgsjkh8
YOU ARE A DEAD MAN, STEVE CASE!!!  MARK MY WORDS!!

>
>- providing a higher-quality service, at higher speeds (we want AOL to be the
>most reliable service so we're working with network providers to expand
>capacity and add additional 9600 bps locations -- and we also want to be a
>leader in popularizing higher-speed access so we're working now on 14.4,
>ISDN, TCP/IP, and cable connectivity)

By stealing^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hbuying Netcom, I presume?
Listen, if you do that you'll be putting the engine of a Mustang in the
body of a Pacer.  You must have been one of those Auto Shop geeks in
High School.

>
>- adding new capabilities so you can personalize AOL to meet your needs
>(we're working on "agents" that do more of the work for you, such as finding
>news articles you might care about and delivering them to you)

and killfiling those we don't care about.

>
>These are just a few of the many, many projects we're now working on. (Most
>of these ideas came from you -- as our best ideas usually do -- so please
>keep your suggestions coming our way!)  Although it is always difficult to
>predict release dates, several of these new features will be rolled out this
>fall, and I hope the others will be released in early 1995.

Of course, knowing THESE yahoos, it'll be around June 1997.

>
>Thanks for helping us get to the 1 million mark, and being a part of
>America's fastest growing online service.  Hopefully, it's just the
>beginning.

This sounds like the end of one of those apocalyptic horror movies.

>            We believe online services will emerge as a new medium, and
>ultimately they will be as significant as the television or the telephone.

Gee, then we can call it the "Information Superhighway!" and it'll be K00L!

>We won't rest until AOL is an essential part of the everyday lives of
>millions of Americans.

If we have to get rid of all those stupid, lesser-charging services that
offer more.  Heil Steve!  You vill use this system undt you vill luff it!

>                        There's still a long journey ahead -- and we look
>forward to sharing it with you.

At least he didn't use a "information superhighway" metaphor again.

>
>Warm regards,

Fuck you too,

>
>Steve Case <[e-mail]>
>
>P.S.   In my letter to you last month, I said that this fall we would be
>sending a new multimedia AOL interface to all of you who are using Macintosh
>and Windows computers.  You should receive this free upgrade in October or
>November.  Watch for it!
>
And throw it away!


*sigh*  AOL.  Never before have so many, knowing so little, pissed off so
large a crowd of people.



--
_____         [e-mail]
|\ /|
| O | Run like hell when you cross the street, because Deputy Dan is after you.
|/ \|







Subject: Re: Quit making fun of us!
From: [e-mail] <Steve Case>
Date: 6 Sep 1994 11:00:15 GMT


hey id like to ask you all non-aol people to stop making fun of all of us
here
at America Online.  we're the k00lest thing on the Information Superhighway
right now and your all jealous because you don't have point-and-click or all
the really cool areas like we do.  we have millions of people online every
day from all over america, some of them even know what "modem" means, too,
so you better watch it 'cause we super-smart people are gonna get you!
so stop makin fun of us and bow down to us because some day we will run
the Inet and you will just feel very sorry so nyah nyah nyah.

/quit
/q
/s
/es
QUIT
SAVE
where'd that icon go...







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

It's that time of the month again....

[Steve Case's actual letter, as it appears after clicking on the "Steve Case"
icon that appears when you first log on on your Welcome Screen ]

(Due to the miracle of usenet, what Steve Case is actually thinking will
appear between signs, while comments from me will appear in brackets.



I get hundreds of pieces of E-mail a day from members.  Recently, I've
received lots of questions about the Internet -- specifically, what our plans
are for increased access to Internet services.  <like "quoting".>

Today, America Online's Internet Connection department (KEYWORD: INTERNET)
offers access to <a handful of > popular Internet services, including <limited
to> electronic mail, Newsgroups, and Databases.  You can use our E-mail
gateway to send or receive mail from just about every E-mail system in the
world.  <But you can't attach a file.>  The Newsgroups ("Usenet") discussions
cover more than 12,000 topics <dating back three months> <if you can find them
after we change the name>.  And the Database (also known as "WAIS" and "Gopher")
enable you to connect --  with [what else] the simple click of a button -- to
information stored at Internet sites around the world.   <Unless we don't want
you to see it, in which case we edit it out.>

If you've heard that the Internet is too expensive or too hard to use, you'll
be pleasantly surprised <if you try an access provider other than AOL>-- here
on America Online, you can tap into the Internet though [sic] our friendly
<and mis-attributing> interface, at no extra charge.  <Just the regular
gouging.>

[Freudian slip.  He meant to say, "though our friendly interface, at no extra
charge........... still robs you blind.]

Coming up, we plan to offer "ftp," "telnet," and "World Wide Web" access --
<it's armageddon> so we're on a path to provide you with "full" Internet
access.  <a very long path.  A very, very, very, long path.>  It looks like
we'll be ready to launch ftp (Internet file transfer) this Fall <it's the death
of the internet (tm)>, and "telnet" (direct connections to other systems) and
"World Wide Web" (you may have heard about "Mosaic," a popular Web browser)
this Winter.  <You may also remember me saying last month we were expanding
our Internet access to include "the most-requested capability, access to the
World Wide Web (also referred to sometimes as "Mosaic" support)."  A
16-year-old in upstate New York pointed out how foolishly I worded that.>

Our goal is to provide you with access to all of the popular Internet features,
through AOL's <expensive and insultingly> easy-to-use interface.  You won't
have to learn a new application to access the Internet.  <We hate asking our
members to learn.>  Moreover, we're spending lots of time organizing the
Internet services so it will be easy for you to find the "best of" the
Internet.  <alt.sex.bondage will not be included>  So we think AOL will be the
Internet "on ramp" for you and millions of others.  <That's on ramp as in
superhighway.  But I'm afraid to say it.>

Many of you have also asked <complained vociferously> about the delays you will
sometimes see when you enter a new area of America Online for the first time.
<Many, many, MANY of you.>  The way AOL works is that the first time you enter
a new area we tranmist the artwork you'll need for the new service and we store
it on your disk.  <And charge you for this time.  Because that's the way I
like it.>  So the next time you use the service, the artwork won't be
transmitted again.  <Probably.>  What this means is the first time you try
something it will usually take a minute or two for the artwork to be sent, but
since this only happens once, [editor's note:  this is my favorite part:  ]
the more you use AOL, the faster AOL gets.

[ ALERT!  ALERT!  AOL'S GIVING YOUR ADDRESS OUT! ]

One final point, we recently decided to start renting our customer list to
other companies.  Although this is a fairly common practice in our industry,
as well as other industries, we wanted to let you know what we're doing, why
we're doing it and how you can "opt out" if you choose to.  What we're doing
is only renting the list to companies that have products and services that we
think might be of interest to you.  And, we're only renting the list in
aggregate. We are not for example selling lists based on personal information
(in fact, given the importance we place on privacy, we have chosen to not
even track what each member does online, so we don't even have the capability
to sell customer lists.)  Why are we doing this?  <To make money.>  Primarily
because it will be a source of additional revenue for us [see?]  and that in
turn will enable us to fund the creation of new services and features.  <We're
working on "Carl's Jr. Interactive"> We hope you'll be supportive of this new
initiative [ yeah, I've always wanted my address rented out to companies.
Thanks! ] as we do believe <that we'll rake in lots of cash, so we'll benefit
from it.  No wait!  I mean...> you'll benefit from it.  But if you want to have
your name removed from our list, we'd be happy to do so.  Just use keyword:
Marketing Prefs.

That's my update for this month.  Be watching your mailbox for your new AOL
software, and I'll be looking forward to hearing what you think.

[ Calling Dr. Egelhof... ]

Regards,-

Steve Case
President
America Online, Inc.






A Letter from Steve Case, President and CEO of America Online, Inc.

October 6, 1994

Dear Members,

Over the past few days, there has been a fair amount of publicity -- and
confusion -- regarding our policy of renting mailing lists, so I decided to
send this update to you.

For those who missed it, a leading Congressman (Rep. Ed Markey) issued a
press release on Tuesday expressing concern about AOL's recent decision to
rent its customer list.  In particular, he expressed concern about the
possibility of AOL selling lists based on data that should remain private.

Within hours after receiving the press release and an accompanying letter
from Rep. Markey to me, I issued the following statement to the press:

"As an industry leader, we fully support the privacy provisions as outlined
in Congressman Markey's letter today, and we believe we are fully compliant
with them.  Sensitivity toward our members' privacy has been has been at the
core of our business since we founded the company.  We have asked for a
meeting with Congressman Markey at his earliest convenience to explore issues
of concern to him. If there continues to be confusion, we will pull the list
off the market until this issue can be satisfactorily resolved.  We believe
that as this new interactive medium develops, it will be critical to build
and maintain a strong sense of community.  We have adopted guidelines which
address privacy rights of our members.  We look forward to working with
members of the Subcommittee, as well as with our industry associations, to
ensure comprehensive privacy protections by all providers as we move this
medium forward."

On Wednesday, this story was picked up by the wire services and a number of
newspapers and television stations.  The coverage was quite negative, and,
unfortunately, misleading. For example, a wire story was headlined "Lawmaker
Blasts America Online On Privacy" and the first sentence said: "America
Online Inc., the on-line computer service, came under fire from a senior
congressman Tuesday for the sale of lists that offer detailed information
about its million-odd subscribers." (To be clear, we are *not* selling lists
that contain information about the specific services people are using.)

[...]






[e-mail]        Glen Roberts at Ripco Internet BBS, Chicago [phone]

James M. Egelhof ([e-mail]) wrote:
: In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Sean Donelan)
: writes:
: > Stephen Case, the chief executive office of AOL, said AOL is committed to
: > pull the list of the market if it doesn't meet guidelines for consumer
: > privacy.
: >
: > My questions are.  What are these guidelines, an who sets them?

: The guidelines? There's a $15.00 fee for checks returned by the bank.

The bueaty of the internet is the distributed natuer of it... the suckyness
of AOL is one Dude is in Charge and can do what he wants to millions of
customers...  What business of that size DOES NOT sell its customer data?

Jump off aol... and join a local internet provider... you can probably
chose from a couple... save money... and maybe even talk to the head
Dude if you have a problem or question.







Dear Member:

We have received several inquiries over the last couple of days regarding a
rumored "virus" in an email message entitled "Good Times."  We thought it
would be best to briefly explain how the mail system works, and what we know
about the rumored piece of email.

As background, AOL incorporates virus protection throughout the service and
scans all posted software, text, and sound files in public areas.

We have never had an occurence of a virus being spread through simply reading
email.  It is possible, however, for an attached file to an email to carry a
virus that could cause a problem.  We cannot scan files in email for viruses
as we do with files in  public areas of the service since email represents
private electronic communication. In order for the virus to spread to your
computer, you would have to proactively select the attached file and download
it to your hard drive.  It is therefore advisable never to download attached
files from an unknown sender.

While there has been quite a bit of rumor regarding this "Good Times" piece
of mail, AOL has not been able to confirm a single incident of a subscriber
receiving this mail, or any subscriber getting a virus through e-mail.  Given
the nature of the rumor, if you do receive mail entitled "Good Times", we
would advise that you avoid downloading any file that is attached with this
title.

If you ever receive a file in email that you believe could cause problems,
please forward it immediately to TOSADVISOR, and explain your concerns.
Meanwhile we will keep you posted should we receive any additional
information.


Warm Regards,
America Online










Subject: Re: I spoke to Steve Case
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


[Actual letter in my mailbox today]

Dear Former America Online Member:

I was disappointed to hear that you canceled your America Online
membership.  I appreciate the time you spent to take a look around America
Online and browse some of the services, and regret that it did not meet
your needs.

America Online recognizes the continuing need to improve and expand.  As a
"people-oriented" on-line service, we listen to our members and place a
lot of value on your feedback.   So, if you haven't already given us your
comments on-line,  I'd like to know why you chose to cancel, and what
changes you would suggest.   I've set up a toll-free number
(1-800-544-7750) so that you can call and leave a message directly on my
personal voice mailbox.  I will listen to every call and then forward your
comments to other within our company so they, too, can benefit from
hearing your views.

Regards,

Steve Case
President




It's kind of fun to call up, and then leave a long rambling message.

[Actual message]

Hi, this is Steve Case, uh, President of America Online.  We wanna make
America Online the nation's number one online service, and we know we
still have alot of work to do, and we've found that one of the best ways
to find out what we should focus on is to talk to members who gave it a
try but then canceled the service.

Uh, so thank you for calling.  Uh, please at the beep, uh leave us any
suggestions you might have on how we can improve America Online.  Thanks
again.  <beep>

Uh, yeah, Steve?  Uh, like, your employees keep sending mail to my
sys-admin?  And, uh, like they won't let me say "nipple" in the public
chat rooms?

Plus, like, I posted this really dum message to the internet?  And then,
like, it got reposted, like, seven times?  And then, like, a bunch of guys
started sending me these really big e-mail messages...

Uh, plus you're pulling my posts on AOL. And my "net buddy" just revoked
my net access.  And like, meanwhile, there's like this guy in Michigan
that they arrested for stalking, and he's still got his AOL account?

Uh, like, the New York Times says you persecute riot grrls.

And, like, my friend sent me mail, and like, you guys lost it?  And then,
like, I asked you about it, and you like, told me to talk to the sys-op of
the Internet?

And, uh, I found out that some of the people in the chat rooms were hired
by AOL?

I sent mail to the suggestion box, but it was, like, already full with other
people's suggestions.  I wonder why.  <click>






Subject: Re: I spoke to Steve Case
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)
Date: 16 Nov 1994 23:18:20 -0500

In article <3a9nru$[e-mail]>, David Cassel <[e-mail]> wrote:
>[Actual letter in my mailbox today]
>
>Dear Former America Online Member:
>
>I was disappointed to hear that you canceled your America Online
>membership.

I bet Steve was really heartbroken that you, David Cassel, canceled your
membership.  "Did I mention I cried?"

>             I appreciate the time you spent to take a look around America
>Online and browse some of the services, and regret that it did not meet
>your needs.

But won't change them to fit yours at any time in the near future.

>
>America Online recognizes the continuing need to improve and expand.  As a
>"people-oriented" on-line service, we listen to our members and place a
>lot of value on your feedback.

That's a crock-o-doody(TM).

>                                So, if you haven't already given us your
>comments on-line,

Well I did, but you didn't seem to think "Bite me until it bleeds!" wasn't
a real comment.

>                  I'd like to know why you chose to cancel,

God, they're worse than a religious cult.

>                                                            and what
>changes you would suggest.

(Two words: TOTAL OVERHAUL.)
Actually, I'd love to make some suggestions but it seems that you don't
feel quality and low prices go hand-in-hand.

>                            I've set up a toll-free number
>(1-800-544-7750) so that you can call and leave a message directly on my
>personal voice mailbox.

Riiiiight.  Uh huh.

>                I will listen to every call

Yep, just as Bill Clinton reads EVERY message sent to
[e-mail].
Hey, you know what?  Bill's a big movie buff.  I'm sure if you wrote to him
asking him what he thought of "Killdozer" or Charles Bronson's movie
"Assassination" he'd write back with his views.  He's really a nice guy at
heart!

>                                             and then forward your
>comments to other within our company so they, too, can benefit from
>hearing your views.

I'd only leave a message if I could leave one for my friend DaVe THe
toRGo SOUnd-aLiKe on the TecHNIcal SupPort lIne.

>
>Regards,
>
>Steve Case
>President

Hey, I didn't vote for you!

>
>
>It's kind of fun to call up, and then leave a long rambling message.
>
>[Actual message]
>
>Hi, this is Steve Case, uh, President of America Online.  We wanna make
>America Online the nation's number one online service, and we know we
>still have alot of work to do, and we've found that one of the best ways
>to find out what we should focus on is to talk to members who gave it a
>ytry but then canceled the service.
>
>Uh, so thank you for calling.  Uh, please at the beep, uh leave us any
>suggestions you might have on how we can improve America Online.  Thanks
>again.  <beep>

Drink every time Steve says uh!  It's a new drinking game!

>
>Uh, yeah, Steve?  Uh, like, your employees keep sending mail to my
>sys-admin?  And, uh, like they won't let me say "nipple" in the public
>chat rooms?
>
>Plus, like, I posted this really dum message to the internet?  And then,
>like, it got reposted, like, seven times?  And then, like, a bunch of guys
>started sending me these really big e-mail messages...
>
>Uh, plus you're pulling my posts on AOL. And my "net buddy" just revoked
>my net access.  And like, meanwhile, there's like this guy in Michigan
>that they arrested for stalking, and he's still got his AOL account?
>
>Uh, like, the New York Times says you persecute riot grrls.
>
>And, like, my friend sent me mail, and like, you guys lost it?  And then,
>like, I asked you about it, and you like, told me to talk to the sys-op of
>the Internet?
>
>And, uh, I found out that some of the people in the chat rooms were hired
>by AOL?
>
>I sent mail to the suggestion box, but it was, like, already full with other
>people's suggestions.  I wonder why.  <click>

I wonder what I should say.

Any suggestions?

--
                  tv's Spatch -- FBB Forklift Driver
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"How do you arrest a group of young people going in every direction?"
"Uh, tear gas?"         - Tom Servo, MST3K, "The Giant Gila Monster"






Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin (fwd)
From: [e-mail]
Date: 1 Aug 1994 12:49:45 -0500

Nice try, Haydie.  Tooooooooo bad it didn't work, and too bad I have 7
sites other than that one to post from.  I'll be sure to search your
posts for offensive things...the AOL postmaster seems to be pretty good
about nuking people fast...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 01 Aug 1994 11:20:02 -0500
From: David Maynard <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin

------- Blind-Carbon-Copy

To: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin
Date: Mon, 01 Aug 1994 11:20:02 -0500
From: David Maynard <[e-mail]>


Alison,

Real/Time encourages our users to be courteous in their email and news
exchanges.  However, since we are a public access site, the final
responsibility lies with the users themselves.  I don't recall
receiving any other complaints about this user.  I will send a note to
them that expresses your concerns.

David Maynard ([e-mail])
Postmaster, Real/Time Communications ([e-mail])


- ------- Forwarded Message

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Date: Mon, 01 Aug 94 11:50:34 EDT
Subject: attn: sysadmin

I was most disturbed by a post made by one of your users.  It's not just the
language, as I understand people have free-reign on Usenet, but its
undertones.  I don't know what your policies are regarding content of Usenet
posts, but I wanted to bring this user to your attention.  Thank you for your
time.

Alison
[e-mail]
[e-mail]

- - ---
Subject: Re: Fuckin' AOL changed the name of this group!
From: [e-mail] (sikkid)
Date: 1 Aug 1994 07:34:26 GMT

SportRider ([e-mail]) wrote:

: In article <31cl5n$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
: (Banther) writes:

: >>There's no such thing as a "REAL" netuser on AOL.  No "REAL" netuser
: would put
: >>up with that crappy setup more than once...

: >>   -sikkid

: Actually, there's no such thing as a "real" Net user at some podunk
: University-on-probation in a half-ass state like Texas!

Dickhead.  Texas A&M is on probation, not UT.  Only an AOL fuckup like
yourself would get the two confused.   Podunk?  Podunk my ass.  I'll be
making more in two years than your sorry ass will at 45...  Thanks for a
good laugh fuckup.


- - ----------------------- Headers -----------------------
Path:

search01.news.aol.com!newstf01.cr1.aol.com!uunet!news.sprintlink.net!bga.com!s
ikkid
From: [e-mail] (sikkid)
Newsgroups: alt.aol-sucks
Subject: Re: Fuckin' AOL changed the name of this group!
Date: 1 Aug 1994 07:34:26 GMT
Organization: Real/Time Communications - Bob Gustwick and Associates
Lines: 19
Message-ID: <31i8i2$[e-mail]>
References: <31cl5n$[e-mail]>
<31i331$[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: edwin.bga.com
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]


- ------- End of Forwarded Message


------- End of Blind-Carbon-Copy


----------------------- Headers -----------------------
Path:
search01.news.aol.com!newstf01.cr1.aol.com!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!not-for-mail
From: [e-mail]
Newsgroups: alt.aol-sucks
Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin (fwd)
Date: 1 Aug 1994 12:49:45 -0500
Organization: UTexas Mail-to-News Gateway
Lines: 96
Sender: [e-mail]
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: news.cs.utexas.edu






Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin (fwd)
From: [e-mail] (Haydie)
Date: 1 Aug 1994 16:17:02 -0400

As if getting nuked from AOL would be the worst possible thing that could
happen to me...  I, too, have other sites to post from, if I so choose to
make that call, not that that is any of your business.  I found your post
disgraceful and wondered if your sysadmin would find it the same way.  His
forwarding of my mail to you was unprofessional to say the least, but
what's done is done.  Mr. Maynard would surely like to keep up with the
activites of his users, and went so far to say that you were encouraged to
be 'courteous.'

Last I checked, what you wrote (I quote: <<Dickhead.
*** Warning - You will be disconnected in 5 minutes!  Please Finish quickly!Texas A&M is on probation, not UT.  Only an AOL fuckup like yourself would
get the two confused.   Podunk?  Podunk my ass.  I'll be making more in
two years than your sorry ass will at 45...  Thanks for a good laugh
fuckup.>>) was anything but courteous.  But, if it doesn't go against your
service contract, then I guess you can do whatever you want as long as the
complaints that come rolling into your system don't give your sysop too
much of a headache.

Hayden




Subject: Re: attn: sysadmin (fwd)
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


Haydie must've thought Sikkid was subject to the same bogus laws she is.
Here's what Haydie is used to.  (Cut-and-pasted from AOL.)

> COMMON TERMS OF SERVICE VIOLATIONS
> Vulgarity/Profanity:  Using vulgar or profane language is not allowed
> in public areas such as public chat rooms or message boards...If you
> use vulgar or profane language online even if masked by symbols or
> other characters, you may receive an "on-screen-warning" by a Guide,
> or Room Host.  This warning lets you know that your language is not
> in compliance with the Terms of Service, and that you should review
> them in order to prevent further infractions.

And, this:

> WHAT TO DO IF YOU WITNESS A TOS VIOLATION--We offer the Guide
> Pager keyword and the Terms of Service Staff to assist you....
> If you witness chat in a public People Connection room that
> violates the Terms of Service, you may contact a Guide by using
> the keyword GUIDE PAGER....Within five minutes, the Terms of
> Service Advisor or an on-duty Guide will come to your assistance.

And despite that, note this:

> The Pager is currently unavailable from 6 a.m.  to 10 a.m.
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That time is reserved for hanging out in donut shops.  AOL can't even get
their own brownshirt police force functioning full-time.

More of what Haydie's used to.  (Excerpts from America On-Line's policy):

>ONLINE CONDUCT

> Any action by a Member that, in AOL, Inc.'s sole opinion, restricts or
> inhibits other Members from using and enjoying America Online (such as
> but not limited to, the use of vulgar language; inappropriate screen
> names; committing, or discussing with the intention to commit, illegal
> activities), is strictly prohibited.

Yeah, c'mon, no swearing, you guys.  We got an AOL user here.  You're
inhibiting her enjoyment.

> Member specifically agrees not to submit, publish, or display
> on America Online any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene,
> profane, sexually oriented, threatening, racially offensive, or illegal
> material;

Yeah!  Stop abusing Sikkid, Haydie!

> nor shall Member encourage the use of controlled substances.

Bummer.

> Member specifically agrees to indemnify AOL, Inc. for any losses, costs,
> or damages, including reasonable attorneys' fees incurred by AOL, Inc.
> and relating to, or arising out of any breach of this section (Online
> Conduct) by Member.

"Gotta draw the line somewhere.  We gotta pay for those Guide pagers somehow!"

> PUBLIC POSTING AREAS (MESSAGE BOARDS): AOL, Inc., at its sole discretion,
> may remove messages it deems to be unacceptable or in violation of the
> Terms of Service.  AOL, Inc., at its sole discretion, further reserves
> the right to immediately terminate, without Notice, a Member who misuses
> the message boards.

"Oh, 'and change the names of the newsgroups!'  We forgot to say we can
change the names of the newsgroups!"

And, of course, this:

>    This area is for reporting Terms of Service violations in Chat
>    rooms, Instant Messages, through E-Mail, in message boards or
>    in screen names or member profiles.

>    Chat Violations Click Here
>    Instant Message Violations Click Here
>    E-Mail Violations Click Here
>    Message Board Violations Click Here
>    Name/Profile Violations Click Here


I'm telling ya, folks.  You couldn't MAKE these up...




From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

>>You're a dumbfuck.
>>Oops, I called you a dumbfuck, Yikes!

>Even though we never though it possible, did anybody else feel the
>intelligence level of this newsgroup plunging when they read that last
>post?  At least we can bash you intelligently rather than just spouting
>off every profane name we can think of as a response to a well-stated
>criticism of yourself.

Sure.  Why don't you write a post to his system administrator, Haydie!

It can start out something like this:

"I was most disturbed by a post made by one of your users..."

If anyone gives you any flack, you can just deny that you said
it, or claim you were just asking a question.  Just be glad he didn't
say "ass" !  Maybe you should just keep a form letter on file
or something...

Better still, I've got Al Gore's e-mail address.  Maybe he can
step in and talk some sense into Hinty.  If he's not busy
breaking ties in the Senate or something.

I'll even help you get started.

Dear Mr. Vice President:

I was most disturbed by a post made by a recent internet user.  It's not
just the language, as I understand people have free-reign on Usenet, but its
undertones.  I don't know what your policies are regarding content of Usenet
posts, but I wanted to bring this user to your attention.  Thank you for your
time.







<FlemSnopes finds messages Haydie posted on AOL in July>

From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

Haydie in July:
>Because usenet is essentially the real world, (or even more liberal than
>the real world because of the use of aliases and anonymity), it is
>unpredictable, and, yes, you may find foul language, or even disgusting
>or inappropriate posts, in newsgroups covering everything from geology to
>cooking to football.

Haydie in August:
>No, I didn't grow up on AOL's Terms of Service.  I grew up on Usenet
>where you can flame without actually calling profane names or threatening
>other people.

Whoa...now I'm confused!

Haydie in August:
>America Online is not the only service which has rules for
>using its system, although it has perhaps the most famous ones.

Haydie in July:
>In fact, I don't see what at all is unclear about the 'Note About
>Content.'  All of this does NOT mean that I don't understand that the
>original poster may have a concern about the presence of children.
>It means that the complaint was inappropriate to this forum and,
>truthfully, not applicable to Usenet at all, if you get right down to
>it.         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Haydie in August:
>If you care to reread the text of what I originally
>wrote, now conveniently posted for you all to read, never did I ask that
>the user be removed from Usenet or even the system.  I said that the
>content disturbed me (which it did)

Haydie in July (quoting AOL):
>>"You may find that in certain Newsgroups, the participants use
>>language and discuss subject matter that would not be acceptable on
>>America Online.  Although this is the exception rather than the rule,
>>you may choose to avoid certain Newsgroups if you are uncomfortable
>>with the discussion that takes place in them."


Let's make sure we're clear on that.

If you're uncomfortable, or....DISTURBED, to use Haydie's word...then what
should you do?  Okay, how many people said "Complain to the sys-op without
trying to work things out with the poster first?"

Now, why did Haydie do this?

Okay, we all know why.  Haydie didn't believe what she wrote
about being disturbed.  She just wanted to get Sikkid in
trouble.  She's a narc.

A narc.

Haydie the narc.

Haydie = narc.

Narc is Haydie.

Haydie:  narcs R us.

Haydie-narc.


--and actually, I don't have any balls.

You got that one right.

Anyone find Haydie's use of the word 'balls' disturbing?






From: [e-mail]
[e-mail] wrote:
:
: Okay, we all know why.  Haydie didn't believe what she wrote
: about being disturbed.  She just wanted to get Sikkid in
: trouble.  She's a narc.
:
: A narc.
:
: Haydie the narc.
:
: Haydie = narc.
:
: Narc is Haydie.
:
: Haydie:  Narcs R us.
:
: Haydie-narc.


     ...So just what are you trying to say? <grin>  You left out one
tho...Haydie = hypocrite.

          peloquin     [e-mail]
                    [desperately seeking .sig]







Subject: Re: Fuckin' AOL changed the name of this newgroup
From: [e-mail] (Michael Stutz)
Date: 22 Aug 1994 14:48:13 GMT


In a previous article, [e-mail] (Haydie) says:


>>Here's some Pennsylvania dialups:
>
>>215-898-0834
>>412-621-2582
>>412-836-7123
>>412-938-4063
>>814-269-7970
>>814-362-7597
>>814-827-4486
>
>Thanks, but I don't see a single 717 one.  Because there aren't any.

Move.

From: [e-mail] (zak's dad)
"Not everyone enjoys having their head stuck in a toilet, young man."
                                        -Mrs. Svec (John Dewey Elem. 1968)








Subject: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legendNo responses
From: [e-mail] (Joseph Betz)

From: [e-mail] (Joseph Betz)
Subject: Re: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
Date: 21 Sep 1994 01:30:13 -0500
[e-mail] (Alison Rosenstengel) writes:
>>>In article <[e-mail]>, Jimmie R. Farmer <[e-mail]> wrote
:
>>     HI Alison, how are you?!?!  ;-)

>I'm doing fine.  Procrastinating a bit.  Enjoying a quiet evening after a
>hearty dinner and some good wine.  And yourself?
>
You misspelled "whine".


Hope this helps (TM-Spatch)

--
 *************************************************************************
*  Joseph Betz ([e-mail])  *  If stupidity was gold, AOL  *
*     -or-     ([e-mail])    *  would be Fort Knox          *
 *************************************************************************






From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

>: [e-mail] (Haydie) writes:
>: >Funny, I don't recall sending anything anything but a query and a copy
of
>: >a post to anybody's sysadmin.  Nothing misinformative about it.
You're
>: >just making a big deal about everything I do because I post from this
>: >account occasionally.  But hey, you wanna talk lies and
misinformation,
>: >Mr. Curtis?  Stop sending me flame mail saying that you're the system
>: >administrator over there.

>: Huh?
>: Bob Curtis ([e-mail])
>It's OK, Bob.  Haydie just has her period again.  :)
>Debbie

Nice quoting, Haydie.

: It's too bad that AOL expires my old mail or I could show you exactly
: what I mean.

Unfortunately, AOL does expire your old mail.  Because it
sucks.

And the question on everybody's mind:  if you did show us
exactly what you mean...would it have that cool AOL quoting?







Subject: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who)
From: [e-mail]

In article <bwahaha.777211340@earth>, [e-mail] (Joseph
Betz) writes:
>GASP!  She swore!  I'm OFFENDED!

Last I checked, 'ass' wasn't a curse word.  Definition #2 in my dictionary
lists it as 'buttocks,' which doesn't even get into the definitions which
"may be considered vulgar."  Unless you're telling us that you find it
sexually referent, but that's your own business.





From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)
Subject: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who)

Haydie:
: Last I checked, 'ass' wasn't a curse word.

American Heritage Dictionary, (Second College Edition) page 134.

: "Words identical in spelling but with different etymologies are
: entered separately; the entries bear superscript numbers."

: ass noun, plural ass-es

: 1.  VULGAR SLANG.  The buttocks.
: 2.  VULGAR.  The anus
: 3.  VULGAR.  Coitus.

Unfortunately, it doesn't mention anything about your menstrual
cycle, Haydie.





Subject: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who)
From: [e-mail] (James M. Egelhof)

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] writes:
> : ass noun, plural ass-es
>
> : 1.  VULGAR SLANG.  The buttocks.
> : 2.  VULGAR.  The anus
> : 3.  VULGAR.  Coitus.
                 ^^^^^^

 Really? I've never heard the word used that way (i.e. "I had ass with Steve
 Case, and he was a real stud"). That's very nifty, flemsnopes.





Subject: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who)
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

James M. Egelhof <[e-mail]>:
: Really? I've never heard the word used that way (i.e. "I had ass with Steve
: Case, and he was a real stud"). That's very nifty, flemsnopes.

Try the collective noun, James.  Some ass.  As in:  "All the
guys that lived near Haydie's mom got some ass, but James
Egelhof didn't get any."







Subject: Prf Indigo: the man, the face, the legend
From: Haydie <[e-mail]>

In article <[e-mail]>,
[e-mail] (James M. Egelhof) writes:

>Most US courts would interpret "I think James should be careful of what he
>says and does in the future" as a threat. Threatening a minor across state
>lines is a bad idea (i.e. Federal offense).

James, leave your big mishapen ideas about the law to those in the know
and concentrate on finishing high school.  Most US courts would throw you
out on your ... butt.





Subject: An AOL User speaks out on Quoting. (Guess who?)
From: [e-mail] (FlemSnopes)

Hey, look, guys!  Haydie agrees with us!

Subject: MOTD: re: quoting
From: [e-mail] (Haydie)
Date: 12 Jul 1994 23:40:03 -0400
Message-ID: <2vvnmj$[e-mail]>

It's all well and good that you tell us to manually insert the > before
every quoted line, but what you forget is that these boxes are smaller
than the standard post width so it is near impossible, or a real pain in
the ass, for us to predict where the ends of lines are going to fall!  If
we quote to the width of our box here, we STILL look like morons because
our posts on usenet only go partway across the screen with a too-wide
right margin.  I have had almost no problem with the <<>> quoting system,
or adding phrases like "You wrote," "I replied"...  The real problem comes
when you are quoting an articles which quotes other people.  It can be
very hard to follow, ESPECIALLY when its resized to these boxes.

Haydie








Subject: Re: Big Brother (eg AOL) is Watching Your Email
From: [e-mail] (Bunnicula)
Date: 20 Aug 1994 14:45:29 -0400

In article <3340i0$[e-mail]>,
Alison Rosenstengel <[e-mail]> wrote:

>I believe if you reread, you'll see that Haydie was criticizing the
>intelligence of the counter-response and its form, and not solely the
language
>contained therein.  Whatever you think of Haydie, it has nothing to do with
>the validity of his response.  Hell, why *can't* you think of a better
>response than to call someone a dumbfuck?

Haydie, do you post as chess because you realize that nobody on this group
takes you seriously?  Could it be that your a hypocrite?

-winter







Subject: Re: Haydie Fan Club now OPEN!
From: [e-mail] (The Cheshire Cat)
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 01:53:21 GMT

As Above So Below.................. ([e-mail]) heaved onto the Net:
: If you would like to join:
: When posting or responding to a "Haydie Topic"
: At your shell prompt..Change your NIS Finger Data to
: Something appropriate

: chfn is usually the command in CSH

: Just a thought for those chess/Haydie! fans....


        Remember, though, that as long as we keep posting, that wanker
Haydie will keep spending the cash to refute us!

        --TCC
--
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|     The Cheshire Cat is    | "Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have|
|Britt Green ([e-mail])|  any yarbles!" -Alex, "A Clockwork Orange"   |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=









Subject: I have seen the light!
From: [e-mail] (Totemo)


        I have to confess something..
        I sullied myself with AOL..more than once..the free account just
drew me in <sob>..and it said "Call Today" so much that I just called to
shut them up..anyways, I'm all over that now. I've placed aol in my
alphabet of hatred:
        Aol
        Barney
        Clinton

        Well, enough for now..thank god there is a place where we can slam
aol as it deserves!







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Some guy in an AOL chat room sent me an AOL chain letter.


AOL Users Unite - UP THE SYSTEM

I for one think the charges for the chat feature of AOL are not
competitive with the other on line services such as prodigy.
When I querried Mr. Case about his rates, I received a reply from
some assistant of his who told me that the rates were based
upon a market survey they conducted. Obviously his research
staff is non existant, incompetent, or disregarded what they
found to be the results. All he would have to do is to sign on
to Compuserve to find out how far off base they were.

It is also obvious the owner and management here dont give a
damn about us. I don't know if you have noticed the degradation
of the system to an extreme degree where you get bumped
repeatedly during peak hours and the non availability of access
lines. When you get bumped you get charged from sign on so Mr.
Case make out in any case. So we have three problems; high
rates and lousy service. I am proposing that no one sign on to
AOL on November 1, 1994. The extreme drop in revenue for one
day may clue Mr. Case and his staff in to what reality is.
Hopefully, enough of us will heed this to make a dent and an
impression. Hit 'em in the pocketbook. Its better than between
the eyes. Besides, its where they are hurting us.

Everyone, who receives this letter is to send a copy to
everyone they know on the system and a copy to Steve Case. I
think he will sit up and take notice.
Up the System








Subject: AOL are theives
From: [e-mail] (henry buehler)

I dumper AOL now i see that they are still deducting their fee from an
account
I never gave them acess to
don't think you can try them for free don't think you can ever get free of
AOL
---
Henry Buehler
[e-mail]





Subject: AOL robbed me.
From: [e-mail] (Floyd Harriott)
Date: 29 Aug 1994 16:28:18 GMT
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>

 Let me briefly relate how AOL was able to steal(perhaps harsh, but then
I'm ticked) money from me.
1) I signed up with AOL for a 1 month free trial (so far so good).
2) Because I didn't have a credit card ( the only way to pay without have
a 'surcharge' added) I gave them my checking account number.  It was
understood that if I wanted to continue the service that I would authorize
AOL to automatcially withdraw from that account.
3)  Because I never intended to carry the service I didn't send in the
authorization form and hence did not authorize AOL to withdraw money from
my checking account.
4) At the end of month however, I did go over the permitted amount of time
(approx 20 minutes trying to download the last bit of usefull EPS files).
5)  I called them asking how can I pay for this (approx 3 dollar) fee.
The person on the other end of the line told me they couldn't do anything
until the bill was sent to me. And so I waited.
6)  Waited, that is,  until my bank statment came back with a 10 dollar
plus withdrawl from AOL.  How was it $10?  Inaddition to charging me for
the extra time I spent,they charged me there flat rate as if I were
regular subscriber.  (Please bare with me.  I've forgotten the exact
amounts).
7) How was the transaction completed without my authorization?  I still
don't know.  However, I did call the bank and they removed the debit from
my records.
8) After contacting the bank I emailed the president. In short I did not
get an apology.  In short he didn't recognize that AOL had done anything
wrong.  I'll never use AOL as long as I live.  If a company can be that
way about a mere few bucks then I want nothing to do with them.





Subject: AOL Users Beware. AOL Charges after disconnect
From: [e-mail] (Stuart Siegler)
Date: Mon, 22 Aug 1994 22:33:05 -0400


      While using AOL via their (limited) 9600 baud modems, I was booted
 off (after about 5 minutes) and I attempted to re-connect.
      I am used to having AOL disconnect me in mid session (I have
 complained to them numerous times about it), and usually I walk away for
 a few hours, and retry....  This time, I attempted right away.

      "Your Account is already Logged On" was the response.

 I waited a while a tried again, with the same outcome. So I called.
 After waiting 30 minutes on hold (Ive complained about this too), I was
 told that the have a process-killer which cleans up disconnected processes
 after a short time (i believe she said 15 minutes).  Since I had waited
 *at least* that long, I tried again (I have 2 phone lines).  Still no go.

      I told her that orphaned processes aren't always killed, but she
 said I was wrong.  (Hmmm, My process killer misses orphans that use event
 small amounts of CPU.  But what do I know?)

      She said she would manually disconnect me.  And I re-logged on.
 She than checked my account, and sure enough, I was charged for 66 minutes
 (6 minutes of connect time, 30 minutes of hold time, 30 minutes of
explaining the problem).  She passed me to Billing.

      After a short delay, I explained the problem to Billing. She said
 she would gladly credit my account for the hour I was incorrectly charged.

 [Note: the next line contains sarcasm]

      Wasn't that nice of her?

 [Back to the story]

      I pointed out that I am *constantly* booted off, and how do I know
 that I wasnt charged millions of dollars erroneously. (I was thinking
 what A lawyer might say during the class action suit.)

      She offered further, but I was too miffed to continue.

      I just thought that you all should know this.

      I dont expect I will remain on AOL much longer;  I dont think they
 really care if a few old users leave when they are getting thousands of new
 susbscribers daily.  And besides, I'm sure that even after I leave, they
will
 continue to charge me for connect time ;-)...

 Stuart Siegler
 [e-mail]
 [e-mail]
 [e-mail]
 [e-mail] (but not for much longer)




Yeah I had the same problem,  except I was logged on for over 30 hours.
I called and complained and called again,  he said he was gonna knock my
account offline and couldn't do it.  He told me he was gonna call me back
as soon as he fixed my account,  guess what after waiting an hour I fell
asleep at about 4:00 am I fugured the phone would wake me up.  I woke up
to the sound of my alarm clock telling me to goto work,  I was so pissed
I couldn't believe those scumbags not even a call to tell me of their
progress.  Finally when I got home from work I called again and they
didn't know anything about the situation so I had to wait for them to
call me back,  eventually they did knock my account offline and called me
back.  What a pain in the ass it was.  They were like we're sorry and
like I should be proud they told me my account was the longest that ever
got stuck.  Yeah I didn't pay but it really pissed me off.
Well thats my AOL horror story
Lets hear yours
Jay
[e-mail]
X [e-mail]   <----yeah I'm still there :(





Subject: Re: AOL Users Beware. AOL Charges after disconnect
From: [e-mail] (kronos)
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 1994 00:16:28 GMT

Here's another way AOL charges people on the sly.
I logged on using one of those free month sign-up deals. At the end of 29
days I logged off on-line and cancelled my sign-up using the on-line menu.
A week later I received a letter acknowledging my cancellation but dating
it four days later than I had actually cancelled. This would have put me
into the following month and I would have been charged their monthly fee. I
called and had the fee voided, but I fail to see how AOL's system could
make so grievous an error unless it were designed to do so. An AOL
programmer read a post of mine about it and denied that it could have
been anything but an error, but also couldn't explain why it happened.
Just think, if AOL mischarges just ten percent of each month's free
sign-ons that must be thousands and thousands of dollars.
Kronos




Subject: Class Action Suit - AOL?
From: [e-mail] (Jeff Forman)
Date: Sat, 17 Dec 1994 23:09:08

I am thinking very seriously about filing a class action suit against AOL for

consumer fraud and unfair trade practices.  Here's why, and I'd like to get
some feedback.

AOL clearly and admittedly knows that it is not, but more importantly, it
cannot provide the service that it is billing customers' credit cards for.
It
bills you $9.95 per month and tells you that you can loog on at 9600 baud.
But when you try to do that, the line is incessantly busy and/or if you do
get
through to sprintnet, the log on process stops at step 4 - when it seeks to
connect to AOL (I think the phrase is requesting network attention).

Now this would be bad enough, but instead of stopping there, telling its
customers that it is working feverishly to rectify the situation, and cutting
off new subscriptions until it can at least accomodate those that it does
have, AOL continues to place multiple page ads in every computer magazine
known to man, send tens of thousands of disks, and provide bundled software
through dozens of PC manufacturers/vendors, all offering ten free hours to
new
users.  In one of the postings in this newsgroup, someone quoted some stats
from the Wall Street Journal about log ons vs. capabilities of the system and

proceeded to do the math, showing without any question or doubt, that AOL
cannot provide the service it charges you for.

Now in Maryland, I am virtually certain that this constitutes an unfair trade

practice under our Baby FTC acts and under our consumer protection laws.  I
also suspect that it is violative of the Federal FTC act and moreover, it is
nationwide, so that, by definition is interstate.  There are stiff penalties
including punitive damages available for things like this.

I have written to Steve Case 11 days in a row and have not gotten a response
from him.  Rather, I have now gotten a few responses from some corporate
communications "feel good" marketing types who e-mail me what reads like a
form letter telling me Mr. Case asked them to respond and part of the problem

is that I am trying to log on at the busiest time - 6:00 p.m. through 3:00
a.m.  They then tell me they will try to respond soon and that I should
either
have a nice day or a great holiday season.  The only thing missing is that
goofy smile symbol or wink symbol.  And by the way, I tried to log on again
today at 8:00 a.m., and, of course, the busy signal didn't appear, but the
network (meaning AOL) was unable to respond to sprintnet.  And also by the
way, AOL has a keyword "ACCESS" where you can look up the reapir and upgrade
schedule to see what Sprintnet is going to do about the problem and when.
When you click on Maryland, it tells you that as of December 14, 1994, the
reapir and upgrade in Maryland is completed.  Now I talked to a tech support
rep on Thursday and he told me (in a rare moment of candor) that  this means
that it is as good as it is going to get and that there really is no answer.

He also told me that he gets at least two calls per hour on this issue.
Multiply this by the number of reps that AOL has, and you will start to see
what I mean about AOL fraudulently taking $9.95 per month from what they
allege is now 1.25 million people a month. That's $10,250,000 per month that
AOL is taking, knowing that it can't provide the services.  As Everett
Dirkson
once said, "a billion here, a billion there, soon we're talking real money".

Well, ten million here, ten million there, and it won't take long for AOL to
join the ranks of Ponzi.

So, fellow frustratees, I told Mr. Case (although AOL will probably send me
another have a great day letter - no offense, but I don't live in California
and that kind of irritates me) that my decision was whether to contact the
attorney general's office (although I am now thinking about both the AG in
Maryland and the US attorney's office) or to file suit and seek certification
as a class action.  I am an attorney, but I'm not sure of the ethics of being
a plaintiff and the attorney for the class.  Plus, I've never filed a class
aciton suit before (which is not to say that I wouldn't find out how and do
it.  I am that angry with AOL over its hubris and its attitude towards me and
my credit card).

I am therefore putting this issue out to the net and would welcome comments,
either as threads to this discussion or I would even welcome e-mail to:

[e-mail]

Jeff Forman
406 W. Pennsylvania Avenue
Towson, Maryland  21204
[phone]













Subject: *** Dawn's Book Review ***
From: Dawn McGatney <[e-mail]>
Date: Sun, 11 DEC 94 19:06:10 -0500

As I do from time to time, today I present my book review.  I am
reviewing "The Official America Online for Windows Tour Guide" Version
2.0, by Tom Lichty.  The book contains a nice foreword also by Steve
Case.

I think this book should be very useful to all present and prospective
AOL members.  It is a very nice book, and it covers a lot of interesting
and important things that everyone should know.  I especially liked
the Chapter "Kids Only."  The following is a brief excerpt from this
chapter for the purposes of this review only.

"When your child witnesses a TOS violation, he or she should be
encouraged to use the keyword GuidePager and ask a Guide to enter
the room where the violation is occurring.  Not only will the offender
encounter the significance of TOS enforcement (that's as politely as I
can put it), your child will see what happens when these rules are
broken.  A witness to a 'TOS event' rarely forgets the experience."

As you can see, Tom's book is intended for both the novice AOL member
as well as the more experienced online user.  I heartily recommend it.

-----Dawn McGatney

PS.  Tom's book can be ordered *ONLINE* from AOL (no phone calls to
     any 800 number required!)  After you read Tom's book, if you
     enjoy it, be sure to drop Tom an e-mail and tell him where you
     heard about it.







From: [e-mail] (DawnMcG MD)
Subject: Re: Why date Jews

While watching a recent rerun of STtNG, the thought occurred to me
(and was reinforced as I read the exchange above)----->
 What the bloody hell do we do when the quantum walls
 separating the cyberSpace Online Services begin disintegrating?

I mean, like I thought when I came into the Net, I'd encounter
some Men performing mystical hacks.  Not drunk sailors hitting
each other with lame, moronic fists of illogic.

Thus I have decided to proclaim tomorrow "Show your Best Hack
Day"; you may either E-mail them or post them here.  Let us be the
judge of who here is a *REAL* man, someone who knows
*MANLY* hacks!!!!!  And to the winner, I shall give one of my
patented CyberKisses.

---------------------------------------------------------DMCGMD
----------------------------------------------AOL.COM and PROUD OF IT





Date: Tue, 15 Nov 94 18:58:08 CST
From: [e-mail]
Subject: Killfiles
Hey listen, you stupid fuck.  I keep putting you in my killfile, but
you keep changing your fucking name, so I keep having to see your
idiotic posts.  Fuck you, whoever you are.



From: (Dawn McGatney)


In article <392ok6$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Tom Finley) writes:

1 Sara, your posts are incoherent garbage.

Responsa------------------------->


Hi Tommie,

    [I'm Dawn today.]  You're right, they are incoherent and garbage.
I'm amazed that anyone would respond to them!  But did you ever stop
to think that perhaps I write from a different reality?  And did you stop
to think that your shell of hostility covers a body in heat for me?

    So I shall propose a puzzle which is, in the strangest of ways,
related to AOL and Internet.  I enter an underground parking garage.
Something seems strange.  I suspect that I have entered an infinite
garage.  But, you Tommie, are seated in the same car, sitting just
next to me, staring at my legs, your palms sweating.  You tell me that
the garage is not infinite, merely "very large."  So the puzzle is--->
How might we ascertain whether or not we are truly in an infinite garage.
(We only have a few minutes or so- you can't go on like this much longer.)

Love and kisses,

-------------------------------------------DMCGMD
------------------------------AOL.COM and PROUND OF IT








Subject: Re: !!!!!!!!!! READ THIS POST !!!!!!!!!
[e-mail]  (Dawn McGatney at Delphi) writes:

Vinny Hrovat <[e-mail]> writes:

>[e-mail] (Evan Kay ) wrote:
>
>>From what I know, AOL will attempt to
>>tell  you exactly what you did that offended them even
>>if the reason is pretty  bogus.
>
>AOL may tell you reactively, but they don't always volunteer
>this information to you. Example: i once used the word
>"urinate" in a posted message on AOL, in a discussion on the
>use of a prescription medication that can causes frequent

Dawn Replies----->>>

AOL once claimed my account had been terminated because I used the
word "Fentanyl" [prescription medication] in a chat room when discussing
pediatric anesthesia.

[...]

After writing to AOL via snail mail, I was informed that my account had
been revoked for "Discussing drug use in a public chat room."  However,
before Ms. JAN took any action, I had already explained to her that the
discussion centered about prescription medication and not recreational
drug use with "street" drugs.

 [...]

 -----Dawn McGatney








Subject: Re: alt.aol-sucks???
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Cpt Starr ([e-mail]) wrote:
: I AGREE!  How can anyone doubt that Dr. Dawn is a MD?

I called the American Medical Association, and they list no MD with the
name McGatney.  That's how.

[...]

: Dawn- By the way, I found your (NEW?????) picture in gallery that you must
: have slipped in after your "problem."  Well it really isn't hard!

It's right next to the one of the stalker from Michigan.  The guy whose
AOL profile says "Sometimes you just gotta go for it."





From: [e-mail] (Dawn McGatney)

[...]

Don't be bothered by the flames; a lot are witty and humourous.  And
they're fired by guys (generic) who are for the most part good people.

-----Dawn McGatney






 Subject: Re: AOL Wins, You Lose
 From: [e-mail] (Spatch)


 In article <[e-mail]>,
 Dawn McGatney  MD  <[e-mail]> wrote:
 >
 >Let me give a brief reply.  1.) I am many things, but NEVER
 >pompous; 2.) Since much research has been published on the
 >cardiac hypoplasias in Russian, I have been obligated to
 >learn the language; 3.) My "verse" should lose quite a bit
 >in the translation; have a native translate it for you- I
 >suspect that you may find it on target.

 I would be very well interested to know what prostution has to do with
 "cardiac hypoplasias" (and don't say prostitutes are commonly afflicted
 with it - you're supposed to be a pediatrician, remember?  And none of
 that "illegitimate children" stuff either.  Remember your role, please.)









From: [e-mail] (LNakataPhD)
Subject: Re: RFD: alt.fan.dawn

In article <3bh4lj$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Charles
Miller) writes:

@Oh yes. SHUT UP NAKATA. I wish ascii contained size data so that I could
@make that a bit louder. Could any alt.ascii-art refugee out there think
@of a better way to express this? Louis, 1% of your posts are lucid and
@make a valid point. 99% are incoherent and reflect no hint of rational
@thought being involved. Until you learn to distinguish the first type
@from the second, do the universe a favour and go back to masturbation.
@Apart from anything else, its cheaper.

You fucking SMALL SMALL SMALL piece of DOG
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your problem is that my posts are way over your
head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This piece of nail I just pulled off my toe has more brains than your
whole
family added up for the LAST 200 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And I should do a
"FAVOUR"?
What are you, one of those pussyassed BRITS, gay-boy???  OR ARE YOU
AN AUSSIE LIKE DAWNIE-POO????????  OR ARE *****YOU***** DAWNIE
-POO??????????????

You are lucky that*****I***** live in a civilized country.  Too bad it
bears so
many stupid assholes.  You wish you has something to masturbate WITH
!!!!!!!!!!!!  I recommend drink two raw eegs a day (in the morning, before
your
morning attempt at masturbation.)  Glad to to know I'm now talking to the
spokesman for the universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  How is the universe, asshole????
 If I
wanted to answer that question, I'd ask a theoretical physicist.  Know
where
I can find any, brainless?????????

Louis Nakata, PhD
Theoretical Physics







Subject: Nakata's post: A synopsis...
From: [e-mail] (Alison Rosenstengel)
Date: 16 Dec 1994 00:53:03 -0500
Message-ID: <3cr9vv$[e-mail]>

Number of lines of text: 51
Number of times the word "fuck" or a form of it were used: 22
Number of Lines actually quoted after the attribution: 0
Number of punctuation marks used: 927
Number of words misspelled: 12
Number of words typed without the caps lock on: 55

Haydie
/*Disclaimer: my math is to be taken only as a reasonable estimate*/
-----
LNatakaPhD <[e-mail]> wrote:
>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Usual fucking
>bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>The fucking picture is not the fucking GIF OF
>DAWNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>FUCK ALL YOU FUCKING STUPID
>FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>THE FUCKING GIF SHE TROLLED YOU ON IS NOT HER FUCKING GIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>SHE POSTED FROM THAT KLJGIOUG ID, PUT A PHONY PHOTO IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>AOL {{{{{{{YES, AN TOS THING, HAYDIE- I LOVE
>YOU!!!!!!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>AND SHE FUCKING TROLLED LAME BRAIN FARMER AND FUCKING
>PROTESTED TOO MUCH AND HAD A FUCKING LAPSE OF MEMORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>SHE MAY HATE AOL, BUT SHE LIKES TO """"""""""PLAY"""""""""WITH YOU
>ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!SHE IS HAVING FUN BY
>PLAYING WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HER PICTURE IS IN THE
>GALLERIE,
>AND SHE'S GIVEN YOU THE SCUMFUCKING INFOR TO FIND IT AND I KNOW
>THE NAME, BUT I ASKED HER THE NAME BACK- and she said only if
>I'd promise never to give out the name which I did- 1% SMART OF HER!!!!!
>THE ONE AOL PULLED WAS GREEN HOSPITAL THINGS WITH A WHITE LAB COAT!!!!
>SHE TROLLED YOU ON THIS FUCKING PHOTO BECAUSE SHE KNEW YOU'D (SHE EMAILED
>ME THE PULLED PHOTO) NEVER BELIVE THE REAL ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>THOUGHT THIS WOULD GIVE DAWNIE SOME
>CREDIBILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU GUYS & GAL ARE
>SAMRT-----FINDING TYHE REAL ONE IS
>EEAASSSSSSSSSYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>++++======++++++=====+++++=====+++++====++++++====+++++===
>
>ALOS, HOW THE FUCKING FUCK CAN AOL FUCKING TOS MY POST LIKE
>THEY DID FOR FLAMING TO AAS WHEN THEY CALL AAS FLAMES AND.....
>THE CALL IT FLAMES~~!~!~  I FLAMED TO A NG THEY CALL FLAMES AND I
>AM FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE????????????????????????????????????????
>PUT THAT IN YOUR FUCKING FOS (FREEDOME OF........)
>DAWNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>NO MORE TOS,
>FOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>======++++++++++===========+++++++++++++=========+++++++++
>
>SPREAD THE WORD- no- would kill this post- I'll email Spatch or some
>fucking
>bodu about it.
>
>Louis Nakata, PhD
>
>(SORRY I USED SUCH BAD LANGUIGE AND I WAS IN SUCH A BAD MOOD,
> BUT YOU NEED TO EXCUSE ME- I'M TAKING FINALS IN THOSE SIX MORE
>FUCKING CREDITS I NEEDED TO BE A PHARMACIST.  SO HOW FUCKING CUM I'M SO
>NERVOUS OVER JUST SIX CREDITS?????????????!!!!!  I DON'Y KNOw, you tell ME
>how come,
>therfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>!!!!!!!!!!!)
>
>.I think I'm in love with Haydie.....
>
>





Subject: Nakata mail-bombs himself
From: [e-mail] (Tecumseh)

My friend Nakata sent me a rather threating message the other day, so I loaded
his mailbox up with a couple of megs of binaries, in hopes of alerting him to
the fact the he was being somewhat anti-social. At the same time I put him in
my elm filter-rules file on my shell account, as a precaution against further
unwanted intrusions.

Imagine the immense erection I got tonight when I discovered 250 (YES, TWO
HUNDRED AND FIFTY) of these in my filterlog:

Mail from [e-mail] about WHAT A FUCKING POOR HACK
        FORWARDED to "[e-mail]" by rule #3

Mail from [e-mail] about WHAT A FUCKING POOR HACK
        FORWARDED to "[e-mail]" by rule #3

Lou, you stooopid fuck, YOU MAIL-BOMBED YOURSELF.

Could you post the text of one of these messages here, as filter sent every
single one of 'em back to you without even a rest-stop in my mailbox.


--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^







Subject: @@@@@@ WHY NAKATA WAS TOS'D ON NET @@@@@@  No responses
From: [e-mail]

Hey Guys,

Wanna know why I got a luv letter from TOS-INET???  Read this ficking
letter from TOS-INET.  Then fucking
*******BARF***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Subj:   Re:  Terms of Service
Date:   94-12-13 15:02:36 EST
From:   TOS Inet
To:     LNakataPhD

Dear America Online member,

Your recent posting to the slt.aol-sucks [SIC!!!] newsgroup has been
reported as being inappropriate.

Our records show that on 94-12-02 the LNakataPhD screen name created a
posting which stated "This is one fuckin' tough muthur to resond to. ALL I
CAN SAY IS THIS.  IF I AM DAWN, the US has a split personality.  I mean my
posts may be salty, but they speak to the masses! Dawn writes like she's
the fucking POPE and she writes to the ASSES.  I mean has Ms. Bitch said
one NEW thing since she started RUINING this newsgroup???????? NAME
ONE!!!!...."

This would have been more appropriately posted in the alt.flame newsgroup.

Regards
Terms of Service Staff
America Online, Inc.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Aint that one sweetsmeelin pile of SHIT????????????????????????????????
Wonder if this Fucking post 'll go through- I sure aint flaming
anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP RECORDS OF POSTS TO USENET!!!!!!!!
AND THEY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KEEP RECORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SORRY THAT I WAS SO INAPPROPRIATE; SURE MY POST WAS
THE FIRST EVER POSTED HERE THAT WERE INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!
INAPPROPRIATE TO FUCKING WHAT???????????????????????????
I WONDER IF THEY HJAVE A FUCKING CAMERA IN MY FUCKING
BATHROOM TO MAKE SURE MY NEXT SHIT COMES OUT
"""""APPROPRIATELY""""""""""!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inappropriately yours,

Lou Nakata
[e-mail]






Re: THEY LIED - THEY TOS THE NET - NAKATA!!!!
From: [e-mail]

LNakataPhD ([e-mail]) wrote:
: THEY LIED!!!!!!   AOL LIED!!!!!!
: AOL LIED!!!!!   AOL LIED!!!!!   THEY LIED!!!!!!
: THEY LIED!!!!!!!
: THEY LIED!!!! AOL LIED!!!!!!!!!  THEY LIED!!!!!! AOL
: LIED!!!!!!!!!

So you're saying that AOL lied, Nakata?






Re: THEY LIED - THEY TOS THE NET - NAKATA!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

LNakataPhD ([e-mail]) wrote:
: THEY LIED!!!!!!   AOL LIED!!!!!!
: AOL LIED!!!!!   AOL LIED!!!!!   THEY LIED!!!!!!   THEY LIED!!!!!!!
: THEY LIED!!!! AOL LIED!!!!!!!!!  THEY LIED!!!!!! AOL LIED!!!!!!!!!
: T H E Y     *****D O*******     C E N S O R     T H E        N E
: T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
: THEY DO CENSOR THE NET!!!!!!!!  THEY DO ***TOS***** THE NET!!!!!!!

        Uh, yeah.  They, like, suck, and stuff.  Huh huh.  Cool.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]




From: Dawn McGatney ([e-mail])

[...]

     In closing, let me simply say that if I *am* Nakata, then *she*
is a 26 yo female physician whose portrait now hides in the AOL gallery
as DMCGMDB.






Subject: DawnMD and NakataPhD
From: [e-mail] (Emilie Cartoun)

It's interesting that the more insane Nakata's posts get, the more
rational Dawn's are.  It must be quite a relief for her/him to siphon off
her/his rage that way.
--
Emilie
[e-mail]
[e-mail]








Subject:  Portrait of an AOL User
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


PORTRAIT OF AN AOL USER - Excerpts of article from the New York Times
(Author: Peter Lewis; Original title: "Persistent E-Mail:  Innocent Courtship
or Electronic Stalking")

        The New York Times ran an article with a picture of a guy standing
next to a computer with the AOL logo.  This guy wins the grand prize for
being the prototypical AOL loser.  He's being charged with stalking a school
teacher.  (And wait'll you see the end of this post.)

        The article describes him as "a 32-year-old sign maker from the
Detroit suburb of Dearborn Heights..." being charged with stalking "a school
teacher he had met through a video dating service...a 29-year-old who asked
not to be identified because she feared that publicity would jeopardize her
teaching job."  There's a picture of him standing next to his computer, with
the AOL logo on the screen.

        The woman "called the police after Mr. Archambeau left a voice
recording on her home answering machine telling her that he had watched her
leave work earlier in the day...on the answering machine tape, Mr.
Archambeau states, 'I stalked you for the first time today'...the woman
said 'I was scared out of my mind when I got that message.'

        "He [had] persisted with E-mail, phone messages and postal mail.  In
at least one message, she said, he told her that he sometimes watched her
through the window of an ice cream shop located between his house and the
school where she teaches.  She responded politely at first, but more angrily
as time went on, at one point accusing him of stalking and warning him that
she would contact the police if he did not stop.

        "The woman took her answering machine tape to Detective Brian
DeGrande of the Farmington Hills Police Department, who called Mr.
Archamebeau and told him to stop contacting the woman either physically or
electronically.  That night, Mr. Archambeau, using the alias First Pick, sent
her another E-mail note...The woman used a computer alias to respond,
reminding Mr. Archambeau that he had been warned to stop messaging her.  The
woman and the police say that Mr. Archambeau then sent E-mail saying that
he would discuss the woman's behavior with friends on America Online, her
co-workers and supervisors, her family and former boyfriends.  'This letter
is the LEAST of the many things I could do to annoy you,' Mr. Archambeau
wrote.  Several days later charges were filed.

        "With the exception of an initial meeting at a social gathering
sponsored by the dating service, and a casual date a few days later, the
relationship apparently ran its course largely in the electronic realm known
as cyberspace.  Mr. Archambeau admits that he was never physically near the
woman after their second and final meeting five days after they met.  The
phone message followed several weeks of lovesick pleadings sent to the woman's
electronic mailbox on the America Online network, even after the woman
messaged Mr. Archambeau several times, telling him there was no chance for a
romantic relationship and that she did not want any further communication.

        "Mr. Archambeau said he was looking forward to the trial because it
would give him a chance to see the woman face to face...


As I said, in the article, there's a picture of this guy standing next to a
computer with the AOL logo.  But here's the kicker:  I checked AOL's member
directory last night.

He's still there.

[User profile: ]
Location:       Dearborn Heights, MI USA
Marital Status: Single
Quote:              "Sometimes ya just gotta go for it"








Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)
Date: 9 Dec 1994 04:20:32 GMT

Robert -
Well, I left AOL because of the slowness due to the amount of members on
during prime time. I also left because of the price. I like it here on
Prodigy because it is affordable, fits my needs, and I very RARELY get
problems with the software. I also tried Compuserve but they charge too
much for the extended services (especially if you log on at 9600 or
above).


<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>







Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

>>Since I've discovered the net, I've realized that AOL is a waste of
time
>>and money.  I feel that it is to limited in it's uses.  It's slow,
>>conservative, and in general SUCKS!
>
>Yeah, but it'll be 2 bucks an hour cheaper after the first of the
year!
>
>Yipeeeeeee!

Tecumseh -
Prodigy's hourly rate is already $2.95 per hour.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3c8o79$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
>Tecumseh -
>Prodigy's hourly rate is already $2.95 per hour.

Ooh.  I'm all wet between the legs to hear this (TM).



--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
                    Here's where he's been: Madrid
                 Here's where I've been: Boiler Room





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Alison Rosenstengel)

In article <3c8o79$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>Tecumseh -
>Prodigy's hourly rate is already $2.95 per hour.

Michael Gordon -
As of Jan. 1, AOL's hourly rate will be $2.95 per hour.






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

>Michael Gordon -
>As of Jan. 1, AOL's hourly rate will be $2.95 per hour.

Hi Alison -
I know but I just was wondering why does AOL wait till January 1, 1995
while Prodigy has the lowest hourly rate of =ALL= major online services.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tecumseh)

In article <3c8o79$[e-mail]> [e-mail]
(Michael Gordon) writes:

>Tecumseh -
>Prodigy's hourly rate is already $2.95 per hour.

O.K, I currently pay 15 bucks a month for *unlimited* connect
time to a unix shell account running TIA. I use Netscape, Eudora, WS_ftp,
WSGopher, and about 20 other free/shareware applications easily obtainable on
the network; my mail is sent and received instantly (unless it is sent from
AOL, Compuserve, or Prodigy) and, I do it all over a 14.4 connection to a
local number.

What can Prodigy offer me that I do not already have?

--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

[e-mail] (Tecumseh) wrote:
>
>O.K, I currently pay 15 bucks a month for *unlimited* connect
>time to a unix shell account running TIA. I use Netscape, Eudora,
WS_ftp,
>WSGopher, and about 20 other free/shareware applications easily
obtainable on
>the network; my mail is sent and received instantly (unless it is sent
from
>AOL, Compuserve, or Prodigy) and, I do it all over a 14.4 connection to
a
>local number.
>
>What can Prodigy offer me that I do not already have?

Reptile -
Well, Prodigy offers many interesting features including:
Read time Chats, Online Celebrities on Bulletin Boards and Chat, Easy
Access to the internet with a friendly interface, Graphical and friendly
interface for almost all features, Online Photos and Sound Clips that
show photos while you are online and play sound as well, Encyclopedia,
Consumer Reports. And a lot more!


<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

I pay $17.50 a month.

If I use it six hours, I'm paying about $2.92 an hour.

But I use it more.  Just for the sake of argument, let's say I use it four
and a half hours a week.  That's eighteen hours a month, and I'm paying a
dollar an hour.  And it's better.


Shoot, what do you need, a coordinate-axis graph?



y = (17.50)/x


 Hourly |
  rate  |
        |
   $3   |    x
        |
   $1   |          ^     x
        |                      ^     x
        -----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+------->
             6     12    18    24    30

                       Hours

(Ascii limitations render all graphics approximate.)


Not only is the service better, but there's the philosophical difference:
if *you* want to explore, there's a meter running.  The experience of
browsing for information that is often best found randomly is
fundamentally different if you're being charged by the amount of time you
spend.

Andrew Kantor says this is why AOL-er's are stupid:  they have to pay to
think.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

In article <3cj41k$[e-mail]> Michael Gordon,
[e-mail] writes:
>Well, Prodigy offers many interesting features including:
>Read time Chats, Online Celebrities on Bulletin Boards and Chat, Easy
>Access to the internet with a friendly interface, Graphical and friendly
>interface for almost all features, Online Photos and Sound Clips that
>show photos while you are online and play sound as well, Encyclopedia,
>Consumer Reports. And a lot more!

My Brain is turning Numb with the possibilities!

I discovered something recently that shows *Moving* Pictures, with Sound!
And it features many Celebrities as well! Some of them are Live and in
Real Time though some of them are Dead also. (I don't know about Read
time, but maybe they'll get that next.) It features Real Life News and
Celebrity Gossip. And Movie Reviews and Political Chat.

It's called The Television. And it's Free, with Unlimited Access to Many
Channels, after a Onetime Buying-the-Damn-Thing Fee. There is also
something called Cable, which apparently downloads Images and Sound Clips
to your Television Machine through a Wire (i.e. a Cable) in your Wall.
(Though you apparently may have to wait a while for the Cable Guy to
Download himself to your Apartment to set it up.)

Happy Holidays!

--DFutrelle, CJ, DD, DDS, AMA.






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Evan Kay <[e-mail]>

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> writes:

>Reptile -
>Well, Prodigy offers many interesting features including:
>Read time Chats, Online Celebrities on Bulletin Boards and Chat, Easy
>Access to the internet with a friendly interface, Graphical and friendly
>interface for almost all features, Online Photos and Sound Clips that
>show photos while you are online and play sound as well, Encyclopedia,
>Consumer Reports. And a lot more!

Again we ask what we can gain on Prodigy that we can't get on the net?
This weekend (or last week somtime) I was online (on the internet) with
Aerosmith.  Photos and sounds are all available on the net. I can access
medical libraries, download research files and look up items of interest.

Sorry, no comission sale here

[e-mail] (preferred)
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
(I haven't changed my sig file. Don't send to AOL)





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: >Michael Gordon -
: >As of Jan. 1, AOL's hourly rate will be $2.95 per hour.

: Hi Alison -
: I know but I just was wondering why does AOL wait till January 1, 1995
: while Prodigy has the lowest hourly rate of =ALL= major online services.

        AOL is overpriced, and Stevie doesn't know they could actually
attract more customers with a $3 hourly rate.  Prodigy has the lowest
rate, but here's the catch: you get charged for sending and receiving
internet mail (I don't know about local mail).  Reading and writing
messages to newsgroups and even local areas also has a charge.  If I
had to pay for that I'd be broke in no time (I'm already broke... but).
And I thought $23 a month on Delphi gets you a $1.80 per hour after the
first twenty hours.  Otherwise, Prodigy has the lowest _HOURLY_ rate.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]



Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

[e-mail] (Tom Finley) wrote:
>AOL is overpriced, and Stevie doesn't know they could actually
>attract more customers with a $3 hourly rate.  Prodigy has the lowest
>rate, but here's the catch: you get charged for sending and receiving
>internet mail (I don't know about local mail).  Reading and writing
>messages to newsgroups and even local areas also has a charge.  If I
>had to pay for that I'd be broke in no time (I'm already broke... but).
>And I thought $23 a month on Delphi gets you a $1.80 per hour after
the
>first twenty hours.  Otherwise, Prodigy has the lowest _HOURLY_ rate.

Tom -
Members of Prodigy can compose notes offline and IMPORT the messages into
their note that they are composing. So it will only cost a few cents that
way. Or members can create e-mail offline with MAIL MANAGER or E-MAIL
CONNECTION and pay only ($0.01\1,000 characters) so it really is
affordable to send e-mail on Prodigy. Oh, and yes Prodigy charges the
same price for sending e-mail to a Prodigy member or to a Internet
Address. Reading & Writing on the Newsgroups are TIMED. Members get a
allotment each month of how much PLUS time they can use. If they are on
the VALUE PLAN they get 5 hours of PLUS which includes (e-mail,
Newsgroups, Chat, BBs, etc.) And unlimited use of CORE i.e., weather,
news, bussiness, encyclopedia, etc.  Happy Holidays!


<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

>Yes but slip acess is only $25 a month for 80 hours.
>
>Can prodigy beat that?
>
>I don't think so!
Will -
Well, not exactly, but there is plans which give you more PLUS time, I
believe there is one that gives 30 hours. I'm not exactly sure what the
price is though. However, none give $25\80 hours. Happy Holidays!


<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>








Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Vinny Hrovat)

[e-mail] (Michael Gordon) wrote:

>Members of Prodigy can compose notes offline and IMPORT
>the messages into their note that they are composing.
>So it will only cost a few cents that way. Or members
>can create e-mail offline with MAIL MANAGER or E-MAIL
>CONNECTION and pay only ($0.01\1,000 characters) so it
>really is affordable to send e-mail on Prodigy. Oh, and
>yes Prodigy charges the same price for sending e-mail
>to a Prodigy member or to a Internet Address. Reading &
>Writing on the Newsgroups are TIMED. Members get a
>allotment each month of how much PLUS time they can
>use. If they are on the VALUE PLAN they get 5 hours of
>PLUS which includes (e-mail, Newsgroups, Chat, BBs,
>etc.) And unlimited use of CORE i.e., weather, news,
>bussiness, encyclopedia, etc.

Gee, let me run all those cost components by my lawyer and my
accountant before i decide on using Prodigy. Of course, i'm
already counting the characters in all the personal and
business correspondence that i do through email, so that won't
be a problem......  <--- (wisecrack)

Good thing reading and writing on newsgroups are timed, too. I
function SO much better when the meter's running.

---
What the hell are you looking down here for?




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

[e-mail] (Vinny Hrovet) said:
>Gee, let me run all those cost components by my lawyer and my
>accountant before i decide on using Prodigy. Of course, i'm
>already counting the characters in all the personal and
>business correspondence that i do through email, so that won't
>be a problem......  <--- (wisecrack)
>
>Good thing reading and writing on newsgroups are timed, too. I
>function SO much better when the meter's running.

Vinny -
You don't have to count the characters. The MAIL MANAGER & E-MAIL
CONNECTION programs automaticly say the amount of characters that the
user has typed and the cost i.e., 2,000 characters = $0.02
Newsgroups are timed but you can IMPORT what you wish to say before you
are actually being timed.



<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Evan Kay <[e-mail]>

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> writes:

>Vinny -
>You don't have to count the characters. The MAIL MANAGER & E-MAIL
>CONNECTION programs automaticly say the amount of characters that the
>user has typed and the cost i.e., 2,000 characters = $0.02

(shaking his head slowly)
Mikey,
We didn't really think you had to count them yourself.  It did not even
suprize me that the program kept track of them for you.  The point is
it does keep track of them, and they charge you.  Even AOL is not dumb
enough to charge by the character.






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

I forgot to mention the most Amazing Feature offered by the Television
Service, by which you Download Moving Images and Sound Clips from the Air
itself.

That is, it features Baywatch.

Can Prodigy do that? I think not!!!




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3cmiiv$[e-mail]>,
David Futrelle  <[e-mail]> wrote:
>I forgot to mention the most Amazing Feature offered by the Television
>Service, by which you Download Moving Images and Sound Clips from the Air
>itself.
>
>That is, it features Baywatch.
>
>Can Prodigy do that? I think not!!!

Say what you like about him, but David can be quite funny at times.
This is one of them.  *point, point*

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.








Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

One wonders how much Michael Gordon gets paid to spew this.  I hope it's
minimum at least.

In article <3cj41k$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>[e-mail] (Tecumseh) wrote:
>>
>>O.K, I currently pay 15 bucks a month for *unlimited* connect
>>time to a unix shell account running TIA. I use Netscape, Eudora,
>WS_ftp,
>>WSGopher, and about 20 other free/shareware applications easily
>obtainable on
>>the network; my mail is sent and received instantly (unless it is sent
>from
>>AOL, Compuserve, or Prodigy) and, I do it all over a 14.4 connection to
>a
>>local number.
>>
>>What can Prodigy offer me that I do not already have?
>
>Reptile -
>Well, Prodigy offers many interesting features including:

Here we go again:

>Read time Chats,

IRC.

>                 Online Celebrities on Bulletin Boards and Chat,

Me on IRC.  (okay, that was a bit egotistical.)

>               {                                                 Easy
>Access to the internet with a friendly interface,

Mosaic.

>                                                  Graphical and friendly
>interface for almost all features,

BFD.  (That's Berkenhauer-Formatted Directories for the unitiated.)

>                                   Online Photos and Sound Clips that
>show photos while you are online and play sound as well,

Shell to DOS prompt, 'qpeg'.  Or 'splay'...

{
>Consumer Reports. And a lot more!

I wonder how the CR rates Prodigy.  Bleah.

Bite me, Mikey.

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
                    Here's where he's been: Madrid
                 Here's where I've been: Boiler Room





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Vinny Hrovat)

[e-mail] (Michael Gordon) wrote:

>[e-mail] (Vinny Hrovet) said:
--------------------------------^^^^^^

IT'S HROVAT, GOD DAMMIT, WITH AN "A"!! WHAT, DOES PRODIGY'S
ATTRIBUTER MISSPELL PEOPLE'S NAMES?!

>>Gee, let me run all those cost components by my lawyer
>and my
>>accountant before i decide on using Prodigy. Of
>course, i'm
>>already counting the characters in all the personal
>and
>>business correspondence that i do through email, so
>that won't
>>be a problem......  <--- (wisecrack)
>>
>>Good thing reading and writing on newsgroups are
>timed, too. I
>>function SO much better when the meter's running.
>
>Vinny -
>You don't have to count the characters. The MAIL
>MANAGER & E-MAIL CONNECTION programs automaticly say
>the amount of characters that the user has typed and
>the cost i.e., 2,000 characters = $0.02  The MAIL
>MANAGER & E-MAIL CONNECTION programs automaticly say
>the amount of characters that the user has typed and
>the cost i.e., 2,000 characters = $0.02

Well no fucking shit, Theo. Computer software that can count?

>Newsgroups are timed but you can IMPORT what you wish
>to say before you are actually being timed.

I would hope so! You can import from most anything to most
anything. This is the 90's, remember? ASCII text is ASCII text,
remember?

I, on the other hand, have unlimited access, 7x24x365, for
$17.95 a month, with no added costs for actually doing
anything. My interface (Netscape, a leading edge offshoot from
the Mosaic standard, fyi) doesn't have a character counter or a
clock (that i know of); of course, i don't really need
those....

---

What the hell are you looking down here for?






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Will -
: Well, not exactly, but there is plans which give you more PLUS time, I
: believe there is one that gives 30 hours. I'm not exactly sure what the
: price is though. However, none give $25\80 hours.

        Could you please tell me what constitutes PLUS features and
what constitutes CORE features?  I asked this is another message I
think... I get unlimited what could be called PLUS and CORE features
on my system for $175 a month.  My system operated on a 56k link,
fast considering only 10 dialups.

: Happy Holidays!

        Same to you.  But why the cheerful greeting in a flame newsgroup?
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Members of Prodigy can compose notes offline and IMPORT the messages into
: their note that they are composing. So it will only cost a few cents that
: way.

        They can compose notes offline, then put in messages into their
note?  I'm confused her.  But if you want cheap reliable convinient
service (no need to diddle with composing separate notes online, importing
them into the service later) Prodigy is really one of the worst choices
that you can make.  Plus, they make you take up even more time by having
an ad every screen, which takes up even _more_ time to load.

: Or members can create e-mail offline with MAIL MANAGER or E-MAIL
: CONNECTION and pay only ($0.01\1,000 characters) so it really is
: affordable to send e-mail on Prodigy.

        So about 14 lines per cent.

: Oh, and yes Prodigy charges the
: same price for sending e-mail to a Prodigy member or to a Internet
: Address. Reading & Writing on the Newsgroups are TIMED. Members get a
: allotment each month of how much PLUS time they can use. If they are on
: the VALUE PLAN they get 5 hours of PLUS which includes (e-mail,
: Newsgroups, Chat, BBs, etc.) And unlimited use of CORE i.e., weather,
: news, bussiness, encyclopedia, etc.  Happy Holidays!

        How does any of this change that Prodigy is, all in all, one
of the worst if not the worth online service, to say nothing of ISPs.
We don't want your little advertisements here.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

This is from Spy magazine:

How to Get Offline.  Prodigy.  Jump "CANCEL."  Read over whiny "Please Don't
Go" screen; read the "Reasons to Stay" options.  They tell you how to change
the fonts on your screen, AS IF THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LEAVING, BECAUSE YOU DON'T
LIKE THE WAY THE WORDS LOOK.  There's no apparent way to explain to Prodigy
that it has to be the UGLIEST and DUMBEST of the major online services, and
what's up with all the ads popping up on the bottom of your screen?  Plus,
it's co-owned by Sears!  SEARS!  Gimme a break.  Select "Cancel Prodigy."





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

Evan Kay <[e-mail]> wrote:
>(shaking his head slowly)
>Mikey,
>We didn't really think you had to count them yourself.  It did not even
>suprize me that the program kept track of them for you.  The point is
>it does keep track of them, and they charge you.  Even AOL is not dumb
>enough to charge by the character.

Evan -
Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
offline it costs $0.01\1,000 characters. So if you send five messages
offline it's equal to one minute of connect charges. If you send online
it will simply be timed (just like AOL only that this is $2.95\hour and
AOL is $3.50\hour till Jan 1, 1994). What Prodigy offers that the NET
does NOT offer. I don't know what is your interests?
<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

In article <3codnc$[e-mail]> Michael Gordon,
[e-mail] writes:
>I don't know what is your interests?

Grammar. It are a big interest of mine!





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch Adams from the Rocky Horror Show)

In article <3clde5$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:

>You don't have to count the characters. The MAIL MANAGER & E-MAIL
>CONNECTION programs automaticly say the amount of characters that the
>user has typed and the cost i.e., 2,000 characters = $0.02

Which is why some users, when typing messages, decide they can leave out
a letter or two in some words.

>Newsgroups are timed but you can IMPORT what you wish to say before you
>are actually being timed.

Big deal.

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

David Futrelle <[e-mail]> wrote:
>Grammar. It are a big interest of mine!
There is an EDUCATION BB (which is a PLUS feature.) Happy Holidays!
<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Evan Kay <[e-mail]>

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> writes:

>There is an EDUCATION BB (which is a PLUS feature.) Happy Holidays!
><=----------------------=>
>    Michael Gordon
>    [e-mail]
><=----------------------=>

Oh!
Oh!
Oh I'm coming

What a plus.   Does anyone have a smoke?

Here and I thought being able to directly access database's on the net
was cool.  Why just last week I downloaded a file on cummulative trauma
dirently from the University of Nebraska for free from my local public
library access.  I did not know that you could get the same thing
from Fraudigy for cheaper.

Evan Kay



Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <[e-mail]>, Godless <[e-mail]>
wrote:
>David Futrelle <[e-mail]> writes:

>>That is, it features Baywatch.
>
>When somebody says "Baywatch", aren't we suppose to mention 1 million
>customers?

I thought when somebody says "Baywatch" that's the official Usenet rule
that the thread is dead.


--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Powdered Toast Man)

In article <[e-mail]>,
Jay C Jachimiak <[e-mail]> wrote:
:[e-mail] (Spatch) wrote:
:> In article <[e-mail]>, Godless <[e-mail]>
wrote:
:> >David Futrelle <[e-mail]> writes:
:>
:> >>That is, it features Baywatch.
:> >
:> >When somebody says "Baywatch", aren't we suppose to mention 1 million
:> >customers?
:>
:> I thought when somebody says "Baywatch" that's the official Usenet rule
:> that the thread is dead.
:
:No, when someone says "Baywatch" it's a secret code meaning that they
:have the addresses for all the erotic ftp sites.

no, when someone says "Baywatch", Serdar Siegel catches the post in his
grep-bot and follows up with a spam about how 1.5 million Armenians have been
denied green cards.

--
    __o  |     Powdered Toast Man <[e-mail]>     |   _  o
 _-\_<,  |            <[e-mail]>            |  |<)_/#
(*)/'(*) | I almost met Elvis once, but my shovel broke. :) |  TT  <T





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

I never thought I'd have to explain why PRODIGY sucks...


* The design of the interface is all wrong--if you want to read or
  post a message, you get a tiny, tiny screen.  Text doesn't even wrap to
  the second page--you get a beep instead; and if you delete
  text from the first page, text from the second page will *not* move up
  to fill in.

* It's unbearably slow, because they insist on sending unattractive
  graphics each time you enter an area.  Plus, the patronizing tone of the
  welcome screens in each area is a real turn-off--they're always plugging
  their on-line give-aways.

* You can't download or upload any files.  (Except the Prodigy files which
  enable you to use the chat area, the internet area, or to be able to
  send a mail message with a file attached to it--and Prodigy will charge
  you for these files.)

* I resent paying for a service which still sells part of my screen space to
  advertisers.

Not to mention the low quality of their user base--you see this especially
in their message areas.

I think some people were trying to get around Prodigy's e-mail costs by
posting messages to each other in the Prodigy newsgroups.  If I remember
correctly, there was even a limit to the number of posts you could make
on those.

I heard the format of Prodigy is linked to its grappling with censorship
issues.  Prodigy began pulling posts they disapproved of; the users
responded by creating mailing lists; Prodigy then began putting limits on
e-mail among users.  I think there were even instances of Prodigy pulling
posts solely because they criticized Prodigy.

Bottom line:  I wouldn't pay money to read posts from a group of people
whose only common trait was they were all dumb enough to be *using*
Prodigy.

Let me respond to all three of Mike's messages at once:

#1   Michael Gordon wrote:

: Evan -
: Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
: offline it costs $0.01\1,000 characters. So if you send five messages
: offline it's equal to one minute of connect charges. If you send online
: it will simply be timed (just like AOL only that this is $2.95\hour and
: AOL is $3.50\hour till Jan 1, 1994). What Prodigy offers that the NET
: does NOT offer. I don't know what is your interests?
: <=----------------------=>
:     Michael Gordon
:     [e-mail]
: <=----------------------=>


I'd like to see the Rolling Stones in an MBone concert.

When will Prodigy have that?

And when they get it, will it have one of those ads at the bottom of the
screen, plugging rectal cream?

#2  Then, Michael Gordon wrote:

: Evan -
: Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
: offline it costs $0.01\1,000 characters. So if you send five messages
: offline it's equal to one minute of connect charges. If you send online
: it will simply be timed (just like AOL only that this is $2.95\hour and
: AOL is $3.50\hour till Jan 1, 1994). What Prodigy offers that the NET
: does NOT offer. I don't know what is your interests?
: <=----------------------=>
:     Michael Gordon
:     [e-mail]
: <=----------------------=>


Maybe Prodigy could get a feature where they weed out duplicate posts?

I don't suppose they have a "Cancel Message" option?


#3  Then Michael Gordon wrote:

: Dawn -
: I have to honestly agree with this statement!
: <=----------------------=>
:     Michael Gordon
:     [e-mail]
: <=----------------------=>


Okay, I thought of something else.  Quoting.

And, a spell checker....

> Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
                                                              ^^

Congratulations, Mike.  You just saved *two* cents.  Spatch was right--you
are cheap.  Repeat after me:  "I'd like to buy a vowel..."


[e-mail]         .         .      .    .       .           .      .
         .         .        .       Two captains.  One destiny .     .
               .     .          .           .         .    .      *     .
"It was fun."            .             .        .        .       .    .





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3codpk$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
>offline it costs $0.01\1,000 characters. So if you send five messages
>offline it's equal to one minute of connect charges. If you send online
>it will simply be timed (just like AOL only that this is $2.95\hour and
>AOL is $3.50\hour till Jan 1, 1994). What Prodigy offers that the NET
>does NOT offer. I don't know what is your interests?

It's great.  Prodigy offers what the other places don't, like the option
of sending the same message twice!  So, Mikey, did you get charged
twice for that?

Must've taken him 30 minutes to hunt-and-peck the message out, so he just
got charged for 60 minutes' worth of composing time.  Way to go, Mikey!

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Well, Prodigy charges by the characters or time charges. If yo write
: offline it costs $0.01\1,000 characters. So if you send five messages
: offline it's equal to one minute of connect charges. If you send online
: it will simply be timed (just like AOL only that this is $2.95\hour and
: AOL is $3.50\hour till Jan 1, 1994). What Prodigy offers that the NET
: does NOT offer. I don't know what is your interests?

        I'm going to translate this since it's pretty obvious that he
was hurried (because he wrote sentences like "What Prodigy offers that
the NET does NOT offer" and "I don't know what is your interests?") I
think he meant that the NET doesn't offer offline mail.  Either that
or that Prodigy helps you save on connect charges.  For both of them
I'll just say that Unix does provide offline mail, and since just about
every ISP provides a flat rate, that second arguement was useless.
        Could you please, like... write... well, sentences next time?
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Jay C Jachimiak)

[e-mail] (Spatch) wrote:
> In article <[e-mail]>, Godless <[e-mail]>
wrote:
> >David Futrelle <[e-mail]> writes:
>
> >>That is, it features Baywatch.
> >
> >When somebody says "Baywatch", aren't we suppose to mention 1 million
> >customers?
>
> I thought when somebody says "Baywatch" that's the official Usenet rule
> that the thread is dead.

No, when someone says "Baywatch" it's a secret code meaning that they
have the addresses for all the erotic ftp sites.

                                     -Jay
                                      [e-mail] in NYC
                                      the "c" rhymes with "g" and that
                                       stands for "gif"




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Jason Costomiris)

David Cassel ([e-mail]) wrote:
: I never thought I'd have to explain why PRODIGY sucks...

Me neither..  I did, however hear the other day that Fraudigy was
undergoing a service redesign.  Allegedly they are converting their
ENTIRE sytem to HTML.  I don't know how much truth or lie there is to
that, but it sounds interesting.  I still won't subscribe to it, but it
sounds interesting.

--
Jason Costomiris                  |   The disappointed disappear
[e-mail]                |      like they were never here...
I speak for me.  Just me. If you  |
thought otherwise, you were wrong.|               -Corgan, 1993







Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

I forgot who it was that replied to me, but someone said Prodigy has ads
all over the boards or something like that.
As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a
recent windows interface "news browser" does NOT have ads either.
Bulletin Boards are timed. News Browser is untimed if your on the Value
Plan.

<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon
    [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Jeff Buck)

In article <3ctnis$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
>screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a

72 characters per page?!?!!?!!? WOW!! I really hope I am missing
something here... I believe that at least 80 or so characters per LINE is
fairly standard and 25 lines per page/screen with most interfaces..

Can some ex-fraudigy user explain what he is trying to say to me.. I must
not understand how this user interface of theirs works...





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Jeff Buck ([e-mail]) wrote:
: 72 characters per page?!?!!?!!? WOW!! I really hope I am missing
: something here... I believe that at least 80 or so characters per LINE is
: fairly standard and 25 lines per page/screen with most interfaces..

: Can some ex-fraudigy user explain what he is trying to say to me.. I must
: not understand how this user interface of theirs works...

        I _used_ to be a member.  It's actually 72 characters per line and
about, eh, ten to twelve lines a page (I said 15 in an earlier post, I know,
but now that I'm actually thinking about it...).  It's really pathetic.  I
almost always ran out of space in messages.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Godless)

[e-mail] (Jeff Buck) writes:

>In article <3ctnis$[e-mail]>,
>Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>>As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
>>screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a

>72 characters per page?!?!!?!!? WOW!! I really hope I am missing
>something here... I believe that at least 80 or so characters per LINE is
>fairly standard and 25 lines per page/screen with most interfaces..

>Can some ex-fraudigy user explain what he is trying to say to me.. I must
>not understand how this user interface of theirs works...

Jeff,

 You read it right.  They write big at Fraudigy.  It's hard to fit 80
characters on a line when you are using crayons.  And if they use proper
nettiquette, they probably get a gold star on the top of their post.


--
Bob Trieger
[e-mail]

"If alcohol is considerred a crutch, religion is a wheelchair."




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tecumseh)

In article <3ctnis$[e-mail]> [e-mail]
(Michael Gordon) writes:

>I forgot who it was that replied to me, but someone said Prodigy has ads
>all over the boards or something like that.
>As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
>screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a
>recent windows interface "news browser" does NOT have ads either.
>Bulletin Boards are timed. News Browser is untimed if your on the Value
>Plan.

You just don't get it, do you?


--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: I forgot who it was that replied to me, but someone said Prodigy has ads
: all over the boards or something like that.
: As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
: screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a
: recent windows interface "news browser" does NOT have ads either.
: Bulletin Boards are timed. News Browser is untimed if your on the Value
: Plan.

        Um, how does this change the fact that the ads add about five
seconds to every screen you access?
        Oh, that's right, 6 pages maximum for mail.  A page constitutes
about fifteen lines (or less).  90 lines max for messages.  That is so
stupifyingly lame I don't believe it.  I often write messages over 90
lines.
        And why don't you leave now?  We've already discovered that
Prodigy is one of the worst if not the worst online service (that's
saying quite a bit considering the quality of online services).  All
you're trying to saying that Prodigy is mostly useless instead of
completely useless (well, we don't have ads on _every_ page, just
most of them).
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]




Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Nicholas Riley)

In article <3ctnis$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
(Michael Gordon) wrote:

>I forgot who it was that replied to me, but someone said Prodigy has ads
>all over the boards or something like that.
>As a recent change Prodigy has eliminated all ADS from Bulletin Boards
>screens giving 72 characters per page and 6 pages to write on! And a

Let me see...at 72 chars per page and 6 pages, that makes 432 characters
per Bulletin Board post.  Is that why some Prodigy users are so clueless,
because they get their information in 432-character chunks?  If I wanted
to post a decent message it would take me at least 20 Bulletin Board
posts!

<sabi

_______________________________________________________________________________
> Nicholas Riley             < > eWorld: Sabinasata <[e-mail]>
<
> [e-mail] < > CI$: 72531,3633 <[e-mail]>
<
> [e-mail]    <-- finger this address for public key
<

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

[e-mail] (Nicholas Riley) wrote:
>Let me see...at 72 chars per page and 6 pages, that makes 432 characters
>per Bulletin Board post.  Is that why some Prodigy users are so clueless,
>because they get their information in 432-character chunks?  If I wanted
>to post a decent message it would take me at least 20 Bulletin Board
>posts!

Hi Nicholas -
If you wanted to you could add another NOTE to the same subject which
will allow you to write much longer than the total of 432 characters.
<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon             ()_()
    [e-mail]         (_)
<=----------------------=>





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3d0dis$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>[e-mail] (Nicholas Riley) wrote:
>>Let me see...at 72 chars per page and 6 pages, that makes 432 characters
>>per Bulletin Board post.  Is that why some Prodigy users are so clueless,
>>because they get their information in 432-character chunks?  If I wanted
>>to post a decent message it would take me at least 20 Bulletin Board
>>posts!
>
>Hi Nicholas -
>If you wanted to you could add another NOTE to the same subject which
>will allow you to write much longer than the total of 432 characters.

Huz-fucking-zah.  Why can't they modify the news program to send NOTES
with an unlimited number of characters?!  It's a Needless Annoyance,
that's what it is.

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: >because they get their information in 432-character chunks?  If I wanted
: >to post a decent message it would take me at least 20 Bulletin Board
: >posts!

: Hi Nicholas -
: If you wanted to you could add another NOTE to the same subject which
: will allow you to write much longer than the total of 432 characters.

        Wait a sec.  I thought Nick was making a nice joke about this,
and that this 72 characters per page thing was a typo.  But you're saying
it's for real?  That is truely sad.

        And what's the point of limiting the size so small if all it serves
as is an inconvinience and doesn't solve any problems, since you can add a
note (what the fuck is a note? I know, but is it a summary of the message,
the message itself...) to the original message?  Get lost Mike.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3cr6d7$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>David Futrelle <[e-mail]> wrote:
>>Grammar. It are a big interest of mine!
>There is an EDUCATION BB (which is a PLUS feature.) Happy Holidays!

Apparently it also has courses in Doublespeak, which you failed.  (You
misspelled 'Double Plus Good', prole.)

><=----------------------=>
>    Michael Gordon
>    [e-mail]
><=----------------------=>

Well, at least they can't accuse you of committing any thoughtcrimes...


--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.



Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: David Futrelle <[e-mail]>

In an earlier post, I responded to Michael Gordon,
[e-mail], who wrote:
"I don't know what is your interests?"
with the comment: "Grammar. It are a big interest of mine!"


Boy, am I embarassed! I meant to say: "Grammar. It are a big interest of me!"

Thanks for letting me clear that up.

--DF





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Nicholas Riley)

In article <3d0dis$[e-mail]>, [e-mail]
(Michael Gordon) wrote:

>If you wanted to you could add another NOTE to the same subject which
>will allow you to write much longer than the total of 432 characters.

This is ludicrous anyway that Prodigy restricts you so...but anyway (now
that we've established that 72 chars/_page_ is a real limitation of the
editor) why can't you just type?  Even though AOL uses a small window with
horrendous word-wrap, it still lets you type a lot in it. Same with
CompuServe, Delphi, GEnie, eWorld, every major online service. On Usenet,
the only time you usually segment a post is with a binary posting, which I
doubt would be possible with 432-byte units.  If larger message sizes are
possible with Prodigy (in the newsgroups, they have to be), why doesn't
Prodigy simply extend them to the rest of the service? Because they want
people either to give up and simply make meaningless, short posts--or
because they want people to waste their time clicking on buttons to
segment their post among multiple "notes".

<sabi

_______________________________________________________________________________
> Nicholas Riley             < > eWorld: Sabinasata <[e-mail]>
<
> [e-mail] < > CI$: 72531,3633 <[e-mail]>
<
>   [e-mail]          <-- finger this address for public key
<

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------





Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Tom Finley)

Michael Gordon ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Jason -
: Prodigy has many areas with improved interface, i.e., sound clips, photos,
: newsweek, newsbrowser, newsgroups, chat, etc. I have heard about this new
: interface  change. I believe they will be working on it early next year.

        It's dead Mike.  No one is going to buy Prodigy.  AOL provides (god,
I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but it's true) far superior service
to Prodigy.  Prodigy allows about 7k per post.  That is sad.  AOL allows 32k.
While occasionally I send mail larger than 32k (sometimes 3 megs, heh), I
write more than 6 "pages" in mail (almost always).  AOL is better than
Prodigy because, although they _have_ ads, they don't go way overboard like
Prodigy does.  AOL has more internet features, and actually has a *gasp* file
board.  Prodigy is virtually useless.  Get lost Mike.  No commision for you.
--
                                        Tom Finley
                                          [e-mail]






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Dawn McGatney <[e-mail]>

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> writes:

>Jason -
>Prodigy has many areas with improved interface, i.e., sound clips, photos,


Dawn Replies----->>>

Prodigy, in its stupidity, has done the Net a great deal of harm.

It was Prodigy's blatant censorship of self-criticism by its members and
subsequent price restructuring that drove so many of its members to AOL
and gave the popular press the false notion that there was something
worthwhile at AOL.  And then , SCase saw a marketing opportunity open
and latched onto media Net hype.  And the rest...

Had Prodigy not shot itself in the P/L statement, AOL might today be
down to about 20,000 members, most with parental chat control turned on.

-----Dawn McGatney




Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)

[e-mail] (Tom Finley) wrote:
> Why do you think that the online services have more customers?

I think online services have more customers because they allow you to
communicate nationally. The internet has people from =ALL= over but some
people prefer to have the comfort of having "inside" discussions that are
only available to the members of that service. Such as on AOL there
messaging boards are only for AOL members, the same is true with PRODIGY
Bulletin Boards.
Online services often offer good technical support and offer a shopping
area online.  Those might be some of the reasons people prefer to use a
ONLINE SERVICE rather than a BBS or alternate internet providers.
>                                       Tom Finley
>                                         [e-mail]
<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon             ()_()
    [e-mail]         (_)
<=----------------------=>





Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (Alison Rosenstengel)


What planet are you on??!?!?

In article <3d2vo0$[e-mail]>,
Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
>[e-mail] (Tom Finley) wrote:
>> Why do you think that the online services have more customers?
>
>I think online services have more customers because they allow you to
>communicate nationally.

Yeah, I'd never think of the Internet as something as far-reaching as
national, or even international...  Why settle for just Americans when
you can have the whole world?

> The internet has people from =ALL= over but some
>people prefer to have the comfort of having "inside" discussions that are
>only available to the members of that service. Such as on AOL there
>messaging boards are only for AOL members, the same is true with PRODIGY
>Bulletin Boards.

I really wish you'd learn what you are talking about before you open your
mouth.  The vast majority of services have local Usenet groups where
members/users can communicate internally.  This service has widomaker.*
newsgroups.  My uni accounts have jhu.(dept/machine/etc.).* newsgroups.
Hell, even AOL has aol.* newsgroups, if you reduce them to their internet
style names!

>Online services often offer good technical support

You *have* to be kidding here, right?  How can you possibly think that an
online service juggling a million or more users' complaints and problems
can come anywhere close to the local sysop who has 20-??? users and knows
them all by name?  Do you think that TechLiveFU** really gives a crap
about whether [e-mail] ever finds the keyword for the Florida
contest when he's trying to juggle 9 other people in the room harrassing
him about access numbers that don't work and invalid data errors?

**Random name and not meant to reflect on any actual TechLiveFU, if he
does exist...

> and offer a shopping area online.

Yeah, order now so that your prodigy duffel bag can be shipped for Christmas!
Cripes, go to the mall.  Or if you're too lazy or lame to do that, at
least watch Home Shopping where you can see what you're buying!!

>Those might be some of the reasons people prefer to use a
>ONLINE SERVICE rather than a BBS or alternate internet providers.

I doubt it.  I think it's advertising, plain and simple.  And America's
fascination with graphics.  Hell, why memorize trn +x when you can just
point and click?!







Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Evan Kay <[e-mail]>

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> writes:

><=----------------------=>
>    Michael Gordon             ()_()
>    [e-mail]         (_)
><=----------------------=>

You mis-spelled "I work for Prodigy"  Hope this helps

EvanKay






Subject: Re: IF YOU ARE USING AOL YOU ARE GETTING TAKEN!
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

[...]

><=----------------------=>
>    Michael Gordon             ()_()
>    [e-mail]         (_)
><=----------------------=>
>

Hey, that ASCII is a registered trademark of Disney, INC.  You're gonna
hear from their lawyers (who grep USENET for Disney-like stuff), you know.

tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
Check out the Spatula Homepage!  All new, all cool!  http:// ... uh,
http:// oh, wait.  I don't have a homepage.  Just remembered.  Sorry.






Subject: Re: IF YOU ARE USING AOL YOU ARE GETTING TAKEN!
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Michael Gordon <[e-mail]> wrote:
: >>What service gives the best value for the $$$?
: I would say Prodigy, because for $9.95\month you get 5 free hours to use
: of CORE & PLUS (that's almost everything on the service, mail, chat, bbs).

Funny story.  I logged onto a free Prodigy account to read my mail today.
It said "Mail" was a Plus feature, and I couldn't access it.

Turns out it was a software bug--everyone on Prodigy's having them this
weekend.  But it made you realize how annoying Plus/Non-Plus features can
be.  CRL never cordons off any "Plus" features.  And you can't access
Prodigy's internet or chat areas without paying a fee to download the
software that makes it possible.  (How come Mike never mentions this?)


Spatch ([e-mail]) wrote:

: ><=----------------------=>
: >    Michael Gordon             ()_()
: >    [e-mail]         (_)
: ><=----------------------=>
: >
: Hey, that ASCII is a registered trademark of Disney, INC.  You're gonna
: hear from their lawyers (who grep USENET for Disney-like stuff), you know.

I checked this guy's Prodigy profile.  He's from L.A.  Maybe he's working
for Disney, too?!  I can see it now...  "Hey, Michael Gordon!  You've just
shamelessly pimped your online service on the internet!  What are you
going to do now?"

"I'm going to plug Disneyland!"

<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon             ()_()
    [e-mail]         (_)          Welcome
<=----------------------=>       |             to               No facial hair
                                 |          Disneyland!             allowed
                                / \


(ObAltDisneySucks:  Walt Disney testified before the House Un-American
Activities Committee, and named people who unionized his animators as
known communists.  The name of the crow in Dumbo is "Jim".)


Spatch ([e-mail]) wrote:

: I'd still rather find a local service provider and pay $25/month for
: unlimited access.

Or $17.50.  Or less.



[e-mail]         .         .      .    .       .           .      .
         .         .        .       Two captains.  One destiny .     .
               .     .          .           .         .    .      *     .
"It was fun."            .             .        .        .       .    .







Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


               ()_()
Michael Gordon  (_)  wrote:

: I think online services have more customers because they allow you to
: communicate nationally. The internet has people from =ALL= over but some
: people prefer to have the comfort of having "inside" discussions that are
: only available to the members of that service. Such as on AOL there
: messaging boards are only for AOL members, the same is true with PRODIGY
: Bulletin Boards.
: Online services often offer good technical support and offer a shopping
: area online.  Those might be some of the reasons people prefer to use a
: ONLINE SERVICE rather than a BBS or alternate internet providers.

Uh, Malibu Goofy?  People *don't* prefer online services to internet
providers. The numbers are about 30 million on internet providers, to 1.25
million on Prodigy.  That's a ratio of 24:1.

I think the only reason people select "inside" discussions over internet
discussions is they don't know about the internet.  Internet accounts
don't come pre-installed on your hard disk or with your modem.
Discussions on Prodigy and AOL's bulletin boards are inferior because
they're limited to a user base of people gullible enough to be using a
commercial online service.

Mickey's last statement crystallizes our differences:  on Prodigy, you can
buy stuff.  The hell with the service...you can *buy* things you'd
*really* want.  It's not just owned by Sears--it *is* a Sears.

Besides, shopping on the World Wide Web will blow away anything on
Prodigy.


                                [ ]
                               ()_()               Look!  It's the robot from
      [e-mail]           (_)
                                / \                      "Lost in Space"






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)


In article <[e-mail]>,
Dawn McGatney  <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
>It was Prodigy's blatant censorship of self-criticism by its members

You know, I just thought of something scary here.  Perhaps Mikey's bashing
Prodigy with all his might, but P* is censoring every message he sends and
turns them into pro-Prodigy tirades, and when he tries to complain they
bipolarize his statements even FURTHER?!

Welcome to the New Age, lil' brother.

--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]





Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Alison Rosenstengel ([e-mail]) wrote:

: >Online services often offer good technical support
:
: You *have* to be kidding here, right?

I'm amazed how nakedly Br'er Gordon qualified that.  They *often* offer good
technical support.  Except when they don't.

: >Those might be some of the reasons people prefer to use a
: >ONLINE SERVICE rather than a BBS or alternate internet providers.

: I doubt it.  I think it's advertising, plain and simple.  And America's
: fascination with graphics.  Hell, why memorize trn +x when you can just
: point and click?!

Lies of our times:  UNIX commands are prohibitively difficult.  Get the
new "Internet Lite" from Hasbro.


                                   ()_()
      [e-mail]               (@@)                 Gas-mask
                                     []                   Mickey






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Michael Gordon)


Hi Tom -
ALL I was mentioning was that Prodigy has NO ads on Bulletin Boards or
the bottom of the screen when writing E-mail. Members can send a maximum
of 60,000 characters via e-mail. As far as Bulletin Boards go you can
always add a new note in the same subject to continue the long message. I
was NOT saying that Prodigy is the #1 onine service. In ALL of my notes I
only was giving my opinion that Prodigy is the best value overall.
<=----------------------=>
    Michael Gordon             ()_()
    [e-mail]         (_)
<=----------------------=>




Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)


In article <3d37ij$[e-mail]>, David Cassel <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
>
>                                   ()_()
>      [e-mail]               (@@)                 Gas-mask
>                                     []                   Mickey

Are you kidding?!  That's the famed Mickey Mantis!  Check out his big mean
pinchers.




--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)


              ()_()
Cap'n Gordon   ( )   wrote:

: Hi Tom -
: ALL I was mentioning was that Prodigy has NO ads on Bulletin Boards or
: the bottom of the screen when writing E-mail.

"Tastes great!"  "Fewer ads!"

: Members can send a maximum of 60,000 characters via e-mail.

Bummer.

: As far as Bulletin Boards go you can
: always add a new note in the same subject to continue the long message. I
: was NOT saying that Prodigy is the #1 onine service. In ALL of my notes I
: only was giving my opinion that Prodigy is the best value overall.

Even in alt.aol-sucks, that's not gonna fly.


       [e-mail]
                                        ----------------+----------
   What Michael Gordon saw                    () ()     |
   when he went peeping on                     ) (      |
the set of "The Little Mermaid"               ( * )     O
                                               \ /
                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: Evan Kay <[e-mail]>

Spatch <[e-mail]> writes:

>Welcome to the New Age, lil' brother.

Wow a clockwork orange reference.  At any rate, it was also widely thought
that prodigy was reading your mail.  Kind of scary.

Evan






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

Evan Kay ([e-mail]) wrote:
: Spatch <[e-mail]> writes:
:
: >Welcome to the New Age, lil' brother.
:
: Wow a clockwork orange reference.  At any rate, it was also widely thought
: that prodigy was reading your mail.  Kind of scary.

I remember reading some posts from two computer journalists reminiscing
about their favorite commercial online service legends.  One rumored that
the installation program for Prodigy software secretly scanned your hard
drive for financial and personal information, and then forwarded it back
to Prodigy headquarters.

Imagine a newbie hearing the CPU whirring, wondering why it was taking
so long...  Plus, good rumors are half-true--I imagine the installation
program did check for a pre-existing "Prodigy" directory.

                           [e-mail]


The fence outside Michael Gordon's sanitarium:

()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
  ()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
  ()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()






Subject: Re: I just left AOL:-P
From: [e-mail] (Spatch)

In article <3d6v1g$[e-mail]>, David Cassel <[e-mail]> wrote:

>I remember reading some posts from two computer journalists reminiscing
>about their favorite commercial online service legends.  One rumored that
>the installation program for Prodigy software secretly scanned your hard
>drive for financial and personal information, and then forwarded it back
>to Prodigy headquarters.
>
>Imagine a newbie hearing the CPU whirring, wondering why it was taking
>so long...  Plus, good rumors are half-true--I imagine the installation
>program did check for a pre-existing "Prodigy" directory.

Yeah, try mentioning that in alt.2600 and you'll get (along with the
obligatory letter from Cracker Buster) a flamewar between those who
actually think what you said was true and those who just hate P*.

>The fence outside Michael Gordon's sanitarium:
>
>()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
>  ()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
>()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()
>  ()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()_()

You're really getting a lot of mileage out of Mikey Mouse's .sig there!
Good going.  I like it.


- spatch, oh, by the way, new temp address while unicorn is down:
        [e-mail] (no, it's not mine) -



--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]







Subject: Re: Online Services vs Unix Promt
From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

I read in the paper that Prodigy's post-pulling backfired.  Someone sued
them for libelous messages, and they said "We can't be held responsible
for the content of posts on our system.  We're a common carrier!"  To
which the plaintiff pointed out, "If you're a common carrier, how can you
censor?"

That's old news.  But what's more interesting is this tidbit:  the
libelous posts apparently originated from the account of a Prodigy
employee, who was dumb enough to let his account be hacked for--like, over
a year--by an unidentified hacker.

Maybe Prodigy's doing the same thing to Michael Gordon in reverse.  Or
maybe if you stifle all the critical voices, the only posters left are the
ones that support the service.  Is it true that the convention of using P*
for "Prodigy"  started because Prodigy was searching for critical posts,
and posters had to shield their opinions from the grepper?

Spatch ([e-mail]) wrote:
: In article <3d37ij$[e-mail]>, David Cassel <[e-mail]> wrote:
: >
: >
: >                                   ()_()
: >      [e-mail]               (@@)                 Gas-mask
: >                                     []                   Mickey
:
: Are you kidding?!  That's the famed Mickey Mantis!  Check out his big mean
: pinchers.


[e-mail]                   ()_()
                                   ( )
                                    ( )
                                     ( )              The
                                      ( )          Mickipede







From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)

> [e-mail] (David Cassel) wretched from the black abscess of his
>                               bowels:
> [mostly really annoying stuff deleted]


[e-mail] wrote:

> Have you ever actually *used* American On Line?

Yes.

> Has it occurred to you that AOL *just might be* a viable solution
> for some folks?

No.

> Have you noticed that AOL offers a well rounded service for right
> at US$10 a month?

Well-rounded as in dicussing "hackers" and "riot grrls" is prohibited, and
the newsgroup names are censored?  Well-rounded as in McDonald's and MTV are
all fully represented, but you can't say "nipple"?

Well-rounded, with the following exceptions:

   Any action by a Member that, in AOL, Inc.'s sole opinion, restricts or
   inhibits other Members from using and enjoying America Online (such as but
   not limited to, the use of vulgar language; inappropriate screen names;
   committing, or discussing with the intention to commit, illegal activities),
   is strictly prohibited.  Member specifically agrees not to submit, publish,
   or display on America Online any defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene,
   profane, sexually oriented, threatening, racially offensive, or illegal
   material; nor shall Member encourage the use of controlled substances.

> Have you noticed that your elitist and, frankly, sickening attitude
> is only slightly more bothersome than a Unix consultant?

I'm committed to the absence of commercialism.  AOL is the embodiment of that.
Have you seen their McDonald's interactive area?

> >Oh!< I see you use a >gasp< com*mer*cial service?!?  You must be the
>  second lowest form of life on this planet.  (Right after the
>  Marines!)

Or too stupid to know what an internet access provider is.  In an information
meritocracy, that counts.


[e-mail] wrote:

> I want you to enumerate the reasons for the following:
>
> 1 - Why do you prefer commercial accounts?

Me?  Flat fee.  No commerical content.  And *much* better services.

> 2 - What kind of offered services are you referring to as "better"?

The mail doesn't periodically get lost, or linger in limbo for several days.
It doesn't get split up into 60K chunks.  You can send an e-mail message with
a file attached to it.  It doesn't expire automatically without your consent.

You can telnet.  And browse the World Wide Web.  And FTP a file *to* an
FTP site.  You can use Lynx.  And IRC.  MUD's.  MOO's.

Your newsreader can do rot-13.  It can quote messages automatically.
It decodes binary files.  You can edit the "follow-up" line.

You can create a newsgroup.  You can grep.  You can finger somebody by typing
'finger' instead of trying to do it using gopher by clicking through a long
series of gopher menu's.  The results of your gopher searches aren't edited.

Etc., etc.  And you don't see an ad for a talk on dog-breeding every time you
log off.

> 3 - Why SPECIFICALLY does AOL suck?

They censor.  They're too commerical.  Their mass-marketing has created a
user-base which is clueless.

They charge for access to internet resources made available freely, and tax
those resources, without making anything available in return.
And who can forgive them for re-posting every single message from their users
seven times?

> 4 - Who are "most poeple" who have tried AOL who don't like the
>     service?  Are they some of the 1 million or so AOL Users?

David Futrelle, editor, "In These Times"  (Circulation 20,000)

"I followed alt.aol-sucks avidly for a time-after all, AOL does suck, in
so many, many ways."

Andrew Kantor (Editor) and Aaron Weiss (Contributing Editor) of Internet
World (both put America Online on their "Worst of 94" list).

The American Library Association (reprinted the following article in their
newsletter)

Peter Lewis, The New York Times

Even as thousands of
Americans each week join the several million who use computer
networks to share ideas and "chat" with others, the companies
that control the networks, are beginning to play the role of censor.
Earlier this month, the America Online network shut
several feminist discussion forums....

"Most people" have received those free AOL disks every time they buy a
magazine, modem, computer, or a sack of fries from McDonald's.


> 5 - Is there any case, in your opinion, where a user would be well
>     served by an AOL account?

No. For seven dollars more than the cost of an AOL account, I get full internet
access, with no time limits.  And I'm not supporting censorship.

> 6 - Can you offer a more cost effective alternative for someone
>     who wants inexpensive e-mail access?  What company, specifically,
>     offers this access, and what is the cost per month?

My local BBS.  $2.50/month.  Some have it for free.

> Let us, if you will, get this debate out of the realm of hysterics,
> and into a logical dialogue.

You're just jealous because I have cooler sigs.  I heard this newsgroup was
big on trains.

                          //            _()
                        //  |       ~  (_)
                      //    |   |        ()
                     ||     |   |
                     ||_________|_______     ___________________________     ____
  Boxcar Mickey      ||        / \     /   /            /              /   /
fails to see the     ||             /    /            /              /   /
  tunnel coming      ||___________/    /____________/______________/   /_________
                     ||          |    |                           |   |
                     ||    +  +  |    |  +  +            +   +    |   |  +  +
                     ||          |    |                           |   |
 [e-mail]     ||    +  +  |    |  +  +            +   +    |   |  +  +









Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
From: [e-mail]

AOL IS LIKE A FAMELY TO ME!!!!!!! SO FUCK OFF AND DIE, NET JUNKIES!!!!!!!

ALL YOU COMPUTER NERDS COMPLANE ABOUT AOL. BUT WE ARE NO DIFFERENT
FROM ANY OTHER COMPUTER SERVICE. JUST BECAUSE AOL DOES NOT TOLERATE
LEWD REMARKS AND VULGER LANGUAGE DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE INFERIOR. YOU
DONT HAVE TO TALK DIRTY TO ENJOY YOURSELF ON A COMPUTER CHAT LINE
MOST NET JUNKIES DEEM IT NECESSARY TO MAKE THEMSELVES TO BE MORE
THAN THEY ARE. IF ALL MEN WERE WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE ON THE NET,
THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE WOULD BE 11.2 INCHES.

SO FUCK YOU


--
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
:)                      POOKIE                                       :)
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)






Sun, 01 Jan 1995 21:09:59        alt.aol-sucks              Thread   17 of   27
Lines 9
Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!  (OOOOO, GROSS!)Respno   2 of   2
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <3e6kbd$[e-mail]> Vinny Hrovat, [e-mail]
quotes the legendary ImPookie:
> >IF ALL MEN WERE WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE
> >ON THE NET,
> >THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE WOULD BE 11.2 INCHES.

Hey! That IS my size! (Well, measured up one side and down the other.)

This is Penis Post Number One in a series.





Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <[e-mail]> ImPookie, [e-mail] writes:
>ALL YOU COMPUTER NERDS COMPLANE ABOUT AOL. BUT WE ARE NO DIFFERENT
>FROM ANY OTHER COMPUTER SERVICE. JUST BECAUSE AOL DOES NOT [bla bla]

Hey, didn't Spatch just get 10 free AOL hours forcibly inflicted upon him?

Just wondering.




Subject: You guys are mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Spatch at Temporarily Spatch County)

In article <[e-mail]>,  <[e-mail]> wrote:
>In article <3e1ke0$[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Lester24) says
:
>>As a member of americaonline I am offended by your treatment of other
>>members.
>>
>>just becuase you don't want others to share your presious innernet you
>>make fun of us and you one time didn't know about the innernet either and
>>did people make fun of you?
>>
>>You people should try and be nice to new people on the innernet and
>>welcome them insteed of making fun of them. ifd you would teach everyone
>>to use the innernet instedd of making fun everybody would get along
>
>Tom!  Stop it right now!
>
>:)

Park and lock it!  Not responsible!


(Simply put, I do not assume responsibility for the above Lester troll.)



--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]





Subject: The Green-eyed Monster?
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <3e7ge0$[e-mail]> Ralph Abell,
[e-mail] writes:
> I know this is flame-bait, but I think the real explanation is
> old-fashioned jealousy.

Yes! They have 1.5 million (or whatever) members--and I have only one!

(Penis Post Number Two in a series.)






Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
From: [e-mail] (Tecumseh at Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary)

In article <[e-mail]> [e-mail] (ImPookie) writes:



>From: [e-mail] (ImPookie)
>Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
>Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
>Sender: [e-mail] (Usenet News Administration)
>Nntp-Posting-Host: dialup-1-80.gw.umn.edu

>AOL IS LIKE A FAMELY TO ME!!!!!!! SO FUCK OFF AND DIE, NET JUNKIES!!!!!!!

As you can plainly see, this is a forged posting from what appears to be the
University of Minnesota.


--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^





Subject: Does aol really support gopher?
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <3dq214$[e-mail]> Jon Zeeff, [e-mail]
writes:
> Say for example, that I wanted to use AOL to access a particular
> Internet gopher server "branch.com".  How would I go about doing this?

Hey! I'm accessing my branch right now!

(Penis Post Number Three in a series.)

(This series will be ending soon--don't worry.)





Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <[e-mail]> Tecumseh, [e-mail]
writes:
> As you can plainly see, this is a forged posting from what appears to be the
> University of Minnesota.

Whoops! What I meant to say was: Didn't Spatch just get an account at the
University of Minnesota from which he might forge posts?

Sorry about the little mixup!

--DF

...Spreading False Rumors among Cyberjockeys on the ISH






Subject: Hey, AOL doesn't suck!!!
From: [e-mail] (TLOB)

[e-mail] (ImPookie):

>AOL IS LIKE A FAMELY TO ME!!!!!!! SO FUCK OFF AND DIE, NET
>JUNKIES!!!!!!!

<snip>

Another bad troll. The first sign is the stupid name. The next is the
deliberately bad mispelling. (vulger.)

What happened to the good trolls?


Tom
"Without surrender, try to be on best possible terms with those around
you."







From: [e-mail] (Spatch)
Subject: Spatchie Claus and the Gift(s) of the Something-Or-Other

Well, this Christmas ol' Santa was "bery bery good to me" (that's a 10 point
reference for those playing at home) and I found a Compaq Presario under
the tree.  It doesn't have the tv card but it's got everything else,
including a CD-ROM drive that up to a minute ago had Myst firmly in its
clutches and was refusing to let go.  (And I think I got the hang of that
@!%@%@!! subway car, too.)

Anyhow, imagine my horror and shock as we opened the puter, got it to
run through its startup paces, and watched as it installed not just AOL,
not just AOL and Compu$pend, but AOL, COMPUSERVE -AND- PRODIGY on my
hard drive!  _MY_ hard drive!!  Contaminated with such filth!  Windows was
bad enough (by the by, does anyone have a nice CD playing program for
msdos?!  I hate having to run Windoze when I wanna listen to my music
or sample discs.) but this was evil.  Before I hit the ol' del *.* routine, I
leafed through the leaflets contained with the computer.  Stuff on paper.  All
three systems had their pamphlets in and were vying for my attention.

Prodigy had bright, smiling, happy faces on its brochure.  It calls itself
"America's hottest online service" and it featured several screen shots
of the Crayola interface (I'd like to see Mikey "Commissoner" Gordon
defend THAT) and it opened pretty niftily.  You opened it like a normal
brochure and then these two flaps opened up, too.  Hrm.  The whole brochure
had a kind of "Try it, You'll Like It" quality to it.

Compuserve was actually pretty cool with its brochure.  It gave me a manual.
How to set up Compuserve.  How to log in with the trial membership.  What
each and every icon meant, and what one could do on the service.  I think
that's rather nice of them, actually, they really created their brochure
with the beginner in mind, with all the steps and stuff.  Compuserve bills
itself as "America's Most Prestigious Online Service".  I was not aware
that prestigious and expensive go hand-in-hand, but then again, what do I
know.  Compuserve does get good points for its advertising here.  As far as
installing stuff on my hard drive, Compuserve had the most.  They even
snuck .WAV files into the windows control panel, so that when I went
to change the annoying "tada" sound to Talkie Toaster, I had to wade through
"WinCIM What's New", "WinCIM You have mail" and other such selections to get
to "Windows Startup".  Oh my.

America Online, however, is just ... just ... words fail to describe how
miserably EVIL they are.  The first four damn words on the brochure
just strike me as some of the worst examples of Steve "Bill Me Later" Case
selling to those who don't know what they're getting into.

For the record, the front of the brochure screams "You NEED America Online..."
That funky Steverino quote just echoes in my head.  "People say 'Gee, I guess
I should have this Internet thing...'" (or however paraphrased I put it).
Nice to know that Steve is giving them a swift shove in the right direction.

"... to GET SUPPORT for your new computer direct from the experts at
Compaq, " the brochure continues.  Gee, could Compaq be such a negligent
company that they don't feature an 800 number which I have seen on every
single piece of print media Compaq themselves put in the computer box?
I was not aware one had to sell their soul to America Online so that they
can find out how to get Myst out of the CD-ROM drive (finally got it out,
had to kick it a few times... no, no, no, just crashed Windoze, rebooted
and the thing popped out like toast.)  But what happens if your internal
modem is what's giving you troubles?  How do you call AOL then, eh?!

"... to ACCESS the Internet with graphic ease"  (the capitalizations are
my best way of showing you how they're using 'hypertext' or some
wannabe derivative thereof.  Graphic ease.  Graphic stupidity is more like it.

"... to DOWNLOAD over 50,000 fun and informative software files."  Such
as NAKID .GIFS OF MERINA SIRTUS, I presume.

        Turning over the brochure, we read "You NEED this brochure!"
Why?!  It's not THAT cold a night yet... then in a big splash, "Our Software
Is On Your Hard Drive" which just gave me chills even thinking about it.
And finally, "OPEN HERE TO BEGIN YOUR FREE TRIAL!"  What?!  I get to
open the brochure and suddenly in the middle of it is a monitor with
my brand-new America Online account?  I don't think so, Mr. Blob!

Opening the small triangular flap reveals more on the fac we just read.

"NEED DIRECTION?"  (sorta in the same font as AT&T's "YOU WILL" bit.)

"Check out these Online Resources for new members!"

"* Discover AOL Area - This is the best place for new users to begin their
investigation of America Online's vast array of services."  Wow, it's
a whole buffet of the 90's.  "Here you'll find everything from lists about
fresh, exciting features"  ... lists about fresh, exciting features?!
Somewhere out there a copy writer is starving and this yahoo gets to
make AOL sound like the produce department at Stop & Shop.  Oh, wait,
there's more.  "... and why people love America Online"  PUH-LEASE.
The first thing we do to newbies is hit 'em with propaganda.  Everybody
LOVES us, so why don't you? "... to a guided tour of many popular online
areas."  Does somebody actually come over to your house, hold your hand
and show you how to move that little mouse thing that doesn't look like
a real mouse?!  "Just click on the DISCOVER AOL ICON on the WELCOME
SCREEN to visit this area."

"* Members' Online Support - This is the department " ... this is the
show, it's the show, it's the show, it's the JUUUUUDYYY MILLLLEERRR SHOOWWW!!
(that's a 20 point reference for those playing at home.) "... dedicated
to helping you with all your questions from technical intricacies to how
to download files."  At this point I think the copy writer abandoned any
pretense that s/he actually knew what s/he's writing about and just
spewed low-grade technobabble ("technical intricacies"!?  And how come
downloading files isn't one of 'em?) so that Gram and Gramps can read
along and feel like they're learning something. "... Also found in this
department is the GETTING AROUND ON AMERICA ONLINE section."  Point and
click HERE to learn how to point and click.  "This helpful area provides
a complete list of keywords, "  I bet none of MY keywords are in there.
"a calendar of online events, and more.  Just use KEYWORD HELP to access
this information."  I just thought of something.  AOL's spewing stuff
about "Keyword" this and "Keyword:" that but they never exactly EXPLAIN
to the folks at home the concept of a Keyword.  I don't think that Gram and
Gramps have the inherent knowledge, do you?  At least Compuserve was nice
enough to explain all their terms and stuff.

Let's open this damn thing, the suspense is killing me.  "ARE YOU READY?"
proclaims a banner at the top.  Ready for what?  Another hit by the
Four Tops?  "Are you ready to use the online service with the most
INTUITIVE INTERFACE around" ... what in hell does THAT mean?!  The interface
doesn't know what the smeg it's doing (and neither do a lot of its users,
it seems.)  ...

Oh, fuck it.  I'm tired and I need some sleep.  This brochure just goes on
asking if yer ready to chat with "thousands of members" (1/1000 Baywatch.)
and stuff.  My "registration password" here is PIRACY-PINK, which seems
rather ironic or something.


*yawns*

Just wanted to share some fun.  Disseminate as you see fit.


--
tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food
This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel.
"Passing out gives anyone the right, nay--the obligation, to write `I'M GARY
THE HAPPY PIRATE' across your forehead and buttocks." - [e-mail]






From: [e-mail] (David Cassel)
Subject: AOL Lies:  New Member Guide

I recently got another one of those ten-free-hour accounts.  A few days
after signing on, my mailbox received the "America Online Member Guide"--
about 30 pages of largely-spaced crap.  But get this:  on a white cover
with a multi-colored border, a mouse cord moves through pictures of four
people, under the caption "Experience the fastest growing online service
through the eyes of our members."  The guide features four pages of Member
Profiles of AOL members--Dave, Kathy, Mike, and Michelle.

They made them up.

At the bottom of the inside front cover, in letters about as tall as a
dime is wide, they hedge that "The people described in Section One are
fictional," reflecting "composite profiles taken from letters and messages
from America Online members."

Despite the fact that these people are all non-existent, that didn't stop
them from printing a photograph of each "member", and a name next to it,
on the very first page.

  Dave....page 4
  Kathy.....page 5
  Mike....page 6
  Michelle....page 7

It takes up about a third of the page.  (Note:  three of them are white,
and none of the women hold jobs.)

Turning to page four--"DAVE"--we find this entirely imaginary person has
two paragraphs describing himself.  "Dave started using America Online
because of his interest in sports--but he quickly discovered other
exciting features."

        (I'll indent my comments, and put them in between.)

"My friend Jim was always on top of the scores, so I got curious about
where he was getting his information.


        (Jim is fictitious too.)


Now, I use America Online to stay on top of the scoreboard too.


        My friend Phil uses a newspaper to stay on top of the scores.
        The fool!


I've also had some time to set some of those Braves fans straight in a few
online debates!


        The online debates...never happened!


I've really had fun with the Grandstand Fantasy Baseball League!


        Fills in those long, lonely hours.  Since I can't get dates.


The service was particularly helpful after I bought my Gateway 2000 computer.

        Before that, I didn't have a computer.  I continued paying my $9.95
        membership fee, though, because I saw this brochure that said I
        *needed* AOL!


I can get right to Gateway through the Industry Connection.

        Actually, that is pretty impressive.  Telnetting past the Gateway
        firewalls must be...what?  He meant send an e-mail message to
        Gateway?  But what's so great about that?


When I have questions, they're back to me right away.

        Yeah, AOL's mail is always bouncing like that.

        [End of profile]


        I still can't get over this.  Not only did they make it all up,
        but they have a PHOTOGRAPH of "Dave",  sitting next to some
        weight-training equipment.


Kathy

        [ALSO fictitious]

Kathy, a busy mom, became an America Online member because she thought the
encyclopedia would be useful to her ten-year-old son, Peter, and
thirteen-year-old daughter, Laura.  Now, she uses the service as much as
the kids do.

        Peter and Laura ALSO do not exist.  If we're playing fast and
        loose with the truth, why stop there?

           Peter, a Virgo, worships the devil, and Laura, a blood-sucking
           zombie, consumes small animals that she captures in the front
           yard.


I thought America Online would have great information for my kids, but it
has alot for me, too--like a way to stay informed without sacrificing time
with my family.

        Just their lunch money.
        AOL != "staying informed".


And I've actually found myself responding to the news sources.  I even
wrote a Letter to the Editor of TIME Magazine Online.


        I sent E-MAIL!  Do you hear me?  E-MAIL!!!!!  AOL is great!


The other night, my husband Bob was out of town for work....


        Oooh...this is gonna be good.


and I found myself up a little later than usual talking with some other
parents in People Connection.

        Many of them were also lonely, and not getting the attention from
        their wives that they craved.  Six of us arranged a clandestine
        meeting at a rustic mountain retreat...


We had a great discussion about raising socially conscious kids.

        "Don't let them say 'nipple'."

        "When your child witnesses a TOS violation, he or she should be
        encouraged to use the keyword GuidePager and ask a Guide to enter
        the room where the violation is occurring...A witness to a 'TOS
        event' rarely forgets the experience."


I've really encouraged the kids to get the most from the services
available to them.  Laura got some help with her Algebra one night from
one of the live online tutors.

        She failed Algebra, however.  The shut-in teaching her
        had a rare skull indentation....


But they know the rule--Disney Adventures Online *after* the homework is
done.

        Whether they want it or not.


MIKE

Mike is never too far away from a computer--particularly since most of his
clients now communicate through e-mail.

        Some of them have even written to the editor of TIME!!!


America Online has become an indispensable business tool--managing his
stock portfolio, buying and selling stocks online, and getting expert
advice on business trends.

        Remember the thread-starter from last summer:  I would never trust a
        broker so computer-illiterate as to have an AOL account?  Well, I
        would *NEVER* trust a broker who used AOL to *manage* his stock
        portfolio.  "Yeah, you know those PUT options?  Well, apparently
        over the labor-day weekend..."

        Here's how "Mike" 's profile starts.


Speed is everything in my consulting business.

        BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!


Clients want answers now.  I've found the Internet e-mail gateway
indispensable.


        HA HA HA HA HA!!  YOU'RE KILLING ME!  STOP IT!!!  GUFFAW,
        GUFFAW GUFFAW GUFFAW


I can send mail to any online e-mail system they're using at no extra cost

        E-MAIL!  This guy can do E-MAIL!


or send documents to their fax machines.


        It's called "having a modem".   WinFax came free when I bought my
        computer.


It's made corresponding immediate and easy.


        I just wish I could attach a spreadsheet.


I use the Personal Finance department to manage my investments.

        Scary thought.  "One of AOL's online stock consultants suggested
        I invest heavily in inflation-sensitive commodities.  He suggested
        particularly that silver futures would be "K@@L".  Thanking Mr.
        Costomiris for his timely advice, I've now restructured all the bond
        holdings of my organization--with this highly leveraged portfolio,
        I should make a fortune for my employer, Orange County.


It's easy to check my portfolio, do some fundamental research, and then
use TradePlus Gateway to buy and sell stocks.

        My broker is E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton says...
        Yeah?  Well *my* broker is StockTra6941...

        "Mike" 's picture shows a silver-haired guy, in a white shirt and tie,
        with a computer on his desk--feet on the desk, with a view out the
        window of a tall building.  (I think they deliberately made "Mike"
        look like Louis Rukheyser.  But with a goofier smile--less of that
        intimidating intelligence.)

        I think I'd make stock investments based on information I got from
        AOL.  If I were using other people's money.  Especially if I didn't
        like them.


It's all in one place and all at my direction, which beats holding the
phone for a broker.


        I'd much rather hold for an hourglass.


And if I see some unusual activity, I can take a look at the news to see
if there's something behind it.  No waiting for tomorrow's newspapers.

        Yeah, AOL's coverage of commodities-related news has always been
        one of their strong points.

        Now we get to the only minority--"Michelle".  The female law student
        at Georgetown.

 Michelle first discovered America Online when her dad encouraged her to
use the College Board service to help pick a school.  Now, as sophomore at
Georgetown, she still uses the service.

        Had it not been for AOL, she might have ended up at a crappy
        school.  Like Trenton State.

Every so often I take a little break from studying and go online for some
RELIEF!

        You can't *say* urine on AOL.

I'm a pretty avid cyclist, and I've made some great friends through
BikeNet, the Bicycling Information Network.  One of them told me about
this great trip that follows the route of the Santa Fe trail.

        In Arizona, it forks off into the thimble kingdom, and in August,
        Queen Bolina leads the moondust parade...  (What the hell, if we're
        making these up...)


Mom and Dad said it's a go, right before I start my summer job.


        I love my parents.  And they love me.  And we all love AOL.
        Except Dad, whose Turitt's syndrome makes him unpopular with the
        Guides.  As well as with his parish.  And the neighbor's cat.  You
        see, he thinks he's a chicken...ah, but enough about me.


One of the great uses I've found for America Online is keeping in touch
with my folks.  Dad's a pretty regular user; Mom too,


        I can see it coming...


so I just drop them a note once a week.

        E-MAIL!!!!

        AOL has E-MAIL, everybody!!!!!  Run, don't walk.....AOL HAS
        E-MAIL!!!!!!


Sometimes we take a few minutes on Wednesday night to chat--that's when
Dad's computer forum meets.

        You have no dad.  You're fictitious.  We could say anything!  You
        were spawned from turnips!  Harvested on Neptune!  Cultured from
        mold in a petri dish!  Cloned from frozen brain cells.  They saved
        Hitler's brain!


Do you think it's tacky to ask for money by modem?

        BWA HA HA!  You made me spit popcorn all over the keyboard!!!!!
        Now I have to clean it up!  "Money by modem".  Chortle chortle
        chortle---that's rich.  Ah, money by modem.  Hee hee hee.  God, I
        love AOL.  Where do I sign?

At least it's one less long distance phone call.

        E-MAIL!!!!  AOL has----oh wait, we did that already.  Never mind.


Pictures of fake people, and four pages of BS they *made up* !!! And the
caption on the cover says: "Experience the fastest growing online service
through the eyes of our members", reprinting the four fake pictures.

Now that's what I call "virtual" reality.



 .    /\     .   Haiku's!  Anagrams!  Mouse Sig's!  alt.aol-sucks FTP site
___ /.*.x\ _______________________________________________________________
  /.*.!.*..\
/ *.!.*.!o.* \             mail [e-mail]
 ~~~~~||~~~~~                     ftp.crl.com: /ftp/users/ro/destiny/aol







Subject: AOL Lies:  New Member Guide
From: [e-mail]

In article <3e2f5c$[e-mail]> David Cassel, [e-mail] writes:

Once again, Dave posts some of the finest aol-sucks material:

> And if I see some unusual activity, I can take a look at the news to see
> if there's something behind it.  No waiting for tomorrow's newspapers.
>
>       Yeah, AOL's coverage of commodities-related news has always been
>       one of their strong points.

But they've got newsgroups, Dave. They can head on over to
misc.invest.futures. Of course, in the time it takes to deal with the crappy
newsreader, the market could be limit down.

>  Michelle first discovered America Online when her dad encouraged her to
> use the College Board service to help pick a school.  Now, as sophomore at
> Georgetown, she still uses the service.
>
>         Had it not been for AOL, she might have ended up at a crappy
>       school.  Like Trenton State.

HEY TReNTON STAT RULZ! ReD u s NeWZ! IT sez SO!!!!!!!!

> Do you think it's tacky to ask for money by modem?

Michelle quickly found a new, unique money-making opportunity:

From: [e-mail] (Non-existent entity)
Newsgroups: alt.inappropriate.newsgroup
Subject: Money.By.Modem
Date: 30 Dec 1994 17:19:58 -0500
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Lines: 5

Hi, my name is David Rhodes....


You know, Dave, AOL never ceases to amaze me.

thomas

...hey, how do we know that all those stupid AOL posts are from real people?







Subject: AOL Lies:  New Member Guide
From: [e-mail] (David Futrelle)

In article <3e4cm7$[e-mail]> parker, [e-mail]
writes:
> ...hey, how do we know that all those stupid AOL posts are from real people?

I wonder how many of AOL's 1.5 million (or whatever it is) members are
fictional?

AOL: Your Fastest-Growing Imaginary Friend
(or should that be Cyberfriend?)







Subject: You guys are mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: [e-mail] (Tecumseh)

In article <3e1ke0$[e-mail]> [e-mail] (Lester24) writes
:

>As a member of americaonline I am offended by your treatment of other
>members.

I am now convinced that all 1 million AOL subscribers are actually people that
already have internet accounts and are just getting their rocks off, 10 hours
at a time, at AOL's expense.

--
    The above opinions were formed while under the   |    ___    |
          influence of mind-expanding drugs.         |___/ooo\___|
                  [e-mail]       -======((*))=( .o. )=((*))======-
                                                         ^^^^^










Subject: Well Well What A Newsgroup!!! (Nanny KnoNo responses
[e-mail]                    Gareth Rowlands at Fairly Hopeless

Hello alt.aol-sucks readers, (and G'Day Dawn)

This post is especially for [e-mail] (MariamI).

This document has not been approved by the AOL `Escape Committee', and time
served inmates of alt.aol-sucks should please note that it contains
cringe-making allegories, which some readers may find somewhat in bad taste !!

In article <3dn2le$[e-mail]>,
          [e-mail] (MariamI) wrote:

> Yes, AOL is expensive, but I can't hook up to a university, so what should
> I do?  I have heard the other networks are NOT user-friendly!
>
> Mariam Ispahani.......(*-*)......Poetry is the Music of the Soul!
>
> The Quest for Knowledge and the Desire to Achieve,
> are the Keys to Success! But, I can't find the Door! :)
AOL, and its compatriots, could be likened to towns with a crossing across the
tracks to the cities, towns, and villages beyond.  You probably noticed
AOL town, because its well lit, huge advertising hoardings drew you to clean
sanitized cafes (chat rooms), a large library, and the newstand (usenet groups),
where some of the papers are brought over from `the other side of the tracks',
as well as having a full stock of local papers.  There's a good postal service
too.

These towns specialise in looking after the `on-line children' - a huge nursery
for those starting out in their electronic `on-line' life.    You're given
a bicycle (GUI software) which you can use to pedal around town.  The streets
are clean and safe, The brightly lit, well decorated libraries, newstands,
cafes, and the Post Office have shiny clean racks for your bicycle, though
sometimes there's never quite enough to go around.

Within, there is an abundance of Nannies,  and, like all of their kind,
Nanny knows best.  They're happy to make sure you ride your bike correctly,
that you know where all the amenities are, and like all nannies, are at their
prime dealing with `naughty children' ....

 "Nanny942: Number9 vulgarity is a violation of AOL's Terms of Service
            Agreement! Please review those terms NOW by using Keyword: TOS "

The nannies are backed up by mysterious `men in black'.  They read the
mileometer on your bicycle every day, and take away the naughtiest of
children, who are never seen in town again.  Some kids say they have seen
furtive men in black round the back of the post office.

>From the town, you can pedal across the tracks to the big wide world beyond.
There aren't many kids of your young age, a few maybe, but their `on-line'
ages range from rough boisterous teenagers who'll throw rotten eggs at your
bicycle, to wise old men and women who sit you at their knee, and tell you
of vast treasures of knowledge in exotic far away places, and how to reach them.


There are some comfortable roads to follow outside of the town.  Wide and
well surfaced, with not too much traffic that you'll feel safe riding on.
There are also Huge Freeways, full of huge, heavy trucks, that'll knock
you off without a second thought, and dirty pot-holed tracks, that mercilessly
pound your bicycle to a wreck.

All these roads and tracks lead to houses, villages, towns, and huge
conurbations.  There's no guarantee what you'll find - a map is
essential.  Some vast highway may lead to seedy Cafes, where the basest
instincts of Human Life are well catered for.  That potholed track may lead
to a huge library, full of the treasures of knowledge and expertise.

Just like kids in real-life, when you become an `on-line teenager' figuratively
speaking, you're certain to:

 Rebel against overbearing authority,
 Want to be with others your own age,
 Perhaps travel the world -
 Most importantly have independence and freedom.

I know - I've been there in real and on-line life.

I went to the compu$pend nursery.  Bright, clean, and well looked after,
just like the local  " McNasties " (quite a bit of plastic too !).

In the cafes and the mail from far off lands, was talk of a world where the
streets were paved with Gems of Knowledge and excitement.

The residents asked for a bridge to be built to this wonderous world.
Nannies were keen, but the men in black were hesitant.  The spirit
of travel and adventure grew listless in my blood, and I vowed to be
one of the first to cross this bridge when it was built.

I admit having my doubts about my trusty bicycle, would it be able to cope
laden with exotic treasures of src.doc.ic.ac.uk ?? survive the
Dante's inferno of alt.aol-sucks ?? look out of place at the Ace Cafe of
Rockers on the IRC ??

Then, one evening, a man in black offered me a super town guide in
exchange for my bag of sweets, which he then took.  One week, two weeks,
a month, two months, I waited - in vain.  A false and vicious promise,
never to be honoured.  Betrayed, with empty pockets, I left town,
two fingers raised in the archers' salute !

I journeyed many a day in search of the legendary net.  One night,
exhasted and penniless, I was taken in by a Buxom Wench at a dimly-lit
dial-up BBS.  "Come up and see moi treasures" - she wispered seductively.

My physical needs were well taken care of that night - and she couldn't
get enough of my acknowledgement packets.  By morning she said that
I should be feeling a little floppy, indeed I now possessed software.

As I exited, slowly and with the warmly glow of a callow youth made
man, I was assailed by a sheet of flame, within being the hellish
figure of `olde nick' - "Looking to SLIP out were ye ??"


When you are ready,

Fly your nest,

Else always suffer,

Nanny knows best !!


Cheers !

Gareth.






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