ftp.wwiv.com/ftp.wwiv.com.zip/ftp.wwiv.com/pub/BBS/SNIPT401.ZIP/SNIPPET.DAT

Text File | 1992-09-02 | 58KB | 1,765 lines

@@001
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
@@002
He who believes the past cannot be changed has not yet written his
memoirs.
@@003
To climb the ladder of success you must get through the crowd at the
bottom.
@@004
The perfect guest is one who makes his host feel at home.
@@005
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
@@006
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
  --TENESSEE WILLIAMS
@@007
Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have.
  --EMILE CHARTIER
@@008
It's bad luck to be superstitious!
@@009
Where law ends, tryanny begins.
  --WILLIAM PITT
@@010
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
  --GRAFFITI
@@011
What's done to children, they will do to society.
@@012
Patience will come to he who waits for it.
@@013
Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake until noon.
@@014
Where you sit determines what you see.
@@015
You are the cause of everything that happens to you.  Be careful what
you cause.
@@016
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
  --DYLAN THOMAS
@@017
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.  But the
opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
  --NIELS BOHR
@@018
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly installment comes due.
@@019
Reality is a cop-out for people who can't handle science fiction.
@@020
There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there
is no respect for age.  I missed it coming and going.
  --J.B. PRIESTLEY
@@021
He hasn't one redeeming vice.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@022
Animals have these advantages over man: they have no theologians to instruct
them, their funerals cost them nothing, and noone starts lawsuits over their
wills.
  --VOLTAIRE
@@023
Never eat at a place called Mom's.
@@024
Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.
@@025
Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@026
If you find the pace of grass growth distressingly hasty, you know
you've been watching too much PBS.
  --CURT SUPLEE
@@027
Honesty pays, but not enough to satisfy some people.
@@028
A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader
inspires them with confidence in themselves.
@@029
Wit has truth in it.  Wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
@@030
Acquaintance, n.  A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but
not well enough to lend to.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@031
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
@@032
The last taboo of mankind, avoiding forbidden and dangerous thoughts, must
be removed.  There are no illegitimate thoughts.
  --THEODOR REIK
@@033
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
  --THOREAU
@@034
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
  --GROUCHO MARX
@@035
When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it
on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
  --AL CAPONE
@@036
For numerical analysis, there are theorems that are true, and theorems that
are *really* true.
  --JOHN DENNIS
@@037
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers
merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
  --ANTON CHEKOV
@@038
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for
it back when it begins to rain.
  --ROBERT FROST
@@039
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
@@040
Happiness is not something you experience, it's something you remember.
  --OSCAR LEVANT
@@041
A "critic" is a person who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified
to judge the work of creative people.  There is logic in this; he is
unbiased--he hates all creative people equally.
@@042
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
@@043
Thoreau's Law-- If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent
of doing you good, you should run for your life.
@@044
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
This means that only left-handed people are in their right mind.
@@045
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune time.
@@046
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is
comprehensible.
  --ALBERT EINSTEIN
@@047
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed
to be doing at that moment.
  --ROBERT BENCHLEY
@@048
A characteristic of the normal child is that he doesn't act that way very
often.
@@049
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the
utterly bewildered.
  --AL CAPP
@@050
Real wealth can only increase.
  --R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER
@@051
Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive.
 --WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR.
@@052
Manners are noises you don't make while eating soup.
@@053
With daylight savings, some of us get tired an hour earlier.
@@054
I really hate this damn machine, I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want, but only what I tell it!
@@055
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
@@056
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and
everybody else.
  --G.B. SHAW
@@057
The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.
@@058
A good name will wear out; a bad one may be turned; a nickname lasts
forever.
@@059
SHAW'S PRINCIPLE-- Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a
fool will want to use it.
@@060
Completion of any task within the allocated time and budget does not bring
credit upon those performing the task--it merely proves that it was easier
than expected.  Failure to do so, however, proves that the task was more
difficult than expected and requires the promotion of those in charge.
@@061
He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage--he won't
encounter many rivals.
  --G.C. LICHTENBERG
@@062
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
@@063
The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.
  --CHRiSTOPHER MORLEY
@@064
Victory has a hundred fathers; defeat is an orphan.
  --JOHN F. KENNEDY
@@065
A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under
his care.
  --GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
@@066
Get the facts first... then panic.
@@067
If you are too busy to feel miserable, you will be happy.
@@068
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
  --FRED ALLEN
@@069
This is the day for firm decisions!  Or is it?
@@070
With the splitting of the atom, everything has changed save our mode
of thinking.  Thus we hurl ourselves toward unparalleled catastrophe.
  --ALBERT EINSTEIN
@@071
A conclusion is what you reach when you get tired of thinking.
@@072
The trouble with cooked-up excuses is that they're usually half-baked...
@@073
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
@@074
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
  --DISRAELI
@@075
When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never
tried before.
  --MAE WEST
@@076
A light supper, a good night's sleep, and a fine morning have often made
a hero out of the same man, who, by indiscretion, a restless night, and a
rainy morning would have proved a coward.
@@077
Nature goes her own way, and all that to us seems an exception is really
according to order.
  --GOETHE
@@078
Patriotism, as I see it, is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate
above principles.
  --GEORGE JEAN NATHAN
@@079
May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies.
  --VOLTAIRE
@@080
The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even DOWN is up!
@@081
Prejudice is a raft onto whch the ship-wrecked mind clambers and paddles
to safety.
  --BEN HECHT
@@082
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
  --HELEN KELLER
@@083
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
@@084
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
  --WILL ROGERS
@@085
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
  --ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
@@086
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los
Angeles.
  --FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT
@@087
Success and failure are both difficult to endure.  Along with success come
drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, medication, depression,
neurosis and suicide.  With failure comes failure.
  --JOSEPH HELLER
@@088
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
  --JEREMY BENTHAM
@@089
A man should be greater than some of his parts.
@@090
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the
revolution.
  --HANNAH ARENDT
@@091
Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by
the incompetent.
  --JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES
@@092
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@093
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
  --FRAN LEBOWITZ
@@094
Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic.
  --ARTHUR C. CLARKE
@@095
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere
pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
  --DOROTHY PARKER
@@096
He that is wise by day is no fool at night.
@@097
If you can keep your head when others around you are losing theirs,
perhaps you've misunderstood the situation.
@@098
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold
of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
  --QUENTIN CRISP
@@099
Pipe gives wise man time to think and fool something to stick in mouth.
@@100
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as
good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.
  --CHARLOTTE WHITTON
@@101
Prudhomme's Law Of Window Cleaning:  It's on the other side.
@@102
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
@@103
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
@@104
If you pick up a straving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you.  This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@105
Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die.
  --JOHN W. CAMPBELL
@@106
We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
  --G.B. SHAW
@@107
Subspace communications - it's the next best thing to beaming there!
  --LT. UHURA
@@108
The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.
  --HUNGARIAN PROVERB
@@109
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
  --HUMPHREY BOGART
@@110
A true friend is the best possession.
  --BEN FRANKLIN
@@111
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
@@112
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
  --KEN HUBBARD
@@113
Problems are like badly wrapped packages ...with a gift inside.
@@114
The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that
he cannot believe any one else.
  --G.B. SHAW
@@115
A fake fortune teller can be tolerated, but an authentic soothsayer
should be shot on sight.  Cassandra did not get half the kicking
around that she deserved.
@@116
Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger
object.
@@117
Every pearl is the result of an oyster's victory over an irritation.
@@118
A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more
than he can chew.
@@119
Before you hit the jackpot, you have to put a coin in the machine.
  --FLIP WILSON
@@120
Many a yo-yo think he have world on string.
@@121
My only aversion to vice,
Is the price.
  --VICTOR BUONO
@@122
Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of
mankind are caused by the fear of it.
  --BERTRAND RUSSELL
@@123
He not busy being born is busy dying.
  --BOB DYLAN
@@124
Positive:  Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
@@125
If you can sing when you are sad, others can be sad with you.
@@126
Want is the mother of industry.
@@127
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
  --CALVIN COOLIDGE
@@128
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
  --CAMUS
@@129
Egotist:  A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
@@130
In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.
  --MARLENE DIETRICH
@@131
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
  --FLORYNCE KENNEDY
@@132
Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules--
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time,
and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
@@133
Adversity, if a man is set down by degrees, is more supportable with
equanimity by most people than any great prosperity arrived at in a single
lifetime.
  --SAMUEL BUTLER
@@134
A lie in time saves nine.
@@135
Adolescence is that period of time between puberty and adultery.
@@136
What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's
transparency.
  --GEORGE JEAN NATHAN
@@137
We sit around in a ring and suppose
But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.
  --ROBERT FROST
@@138
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
@@139
The very integrity of our universe is implicit in synergy, and the fact
that word is popularly unknown shows how relatively ignorant humanity as
yet is.
  --R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER
@@140
Why not go out on a limb?  That's where the fruit is.
  --WILL ROGERS
@@141
Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free.
@@142
Television--a medium.  So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
  --ERNIE KOVACS
@@143
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not
using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
  --LEONARDO DA VINCI
@@144
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will
pick himself up and carry on...
  --WINSTON CHURCHILL
@@145
Lord, please let me find a one-armed economist so we won't always hear
"on the other hand..."
@@146
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he
knows what it is.
@@147
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
  --GRAFFITI
@@148
Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority
is blissfully ignorant.
  --JOHN SIMON
@@149
Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
@@150
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
  --LAURENCE J. PETER
@@151
Things are never as good or as bad as first reported.
@@152
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger
hands.
@@153
Virtue is its own punishment.
@@154
The opinions, or votes, of those who have no stake in the enterprise are
very rarely of value.
@@155
Love is sentimental measles.
@@156
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself,
lets you forget it.
@@157
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and
conscientious stupidity.
  --MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
@@158
I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.
@@159
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
@@160
If you would like to be talked about, leave the party before the rest do.
@@161
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
  --ROBERT FROST
@@162
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
@@163
A fish gains weight slowly, except the one that got away.
@@164
Those who deny freedom for others deserve it not for themselves.
  --ABRAHAM LINCOLN
@@165
On a clear disk, you can seek forever!
@@166
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
@@167
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
  --MAE WEST
@@168
I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted...
  --MAE WEST
@@169
Be it our wealth, our jobs, or even our homes, nothing is safe while the
legislature is in session.
@@170
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
@@171
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@172
As the climbing up a sandy way is to the feet of the aged, so is a wife
full of words to a quiet man.
  --HEBREW ADAGE
@@173
People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have
a right to ours.  The inference is false; a gift confers no rights.
  --NIETZSCHE
@@174
He that climbs high falls heavily.
  --GERMAN PROVERB
@@175
Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@176
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
@@177
Men are either born with consciences, or marry them.
@@178
We are none of us wise; we are all on the way to wisdom.
@@179
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
@@180
Nobody can be exactly like me.  Even I have trouble doing it.
  --TALLULAH BANKHEAD
@@181
If I travelled to the end of the rainbow
  As Dame Fortune did intend,
Murphy would be there to tell me
  The pot's at the other end.
@@182
Efficiency:  The ability to get someone else to do your job.
@@183
There are no liberals behind steering wheels.
  --RUSSELL BAKER
@@184
A fool, indeed, has great need of a title.  It teaches men to call him
count and duke.  And to forget his proper name of fool.
@@185
Never let your willpower get the best of you.
@@186
Morality is simply the atitude we adopt toward people we personally dislike.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@187
...It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@188
Talkers are no good doers.
@@189
A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
@@190
The result of this fashion of separating the spirit from the flesh is that
it has necessitated convents and brothels.
  --GEORGE SAND
@@191
There is no birth of consciousness without pain.
  --CARL JUNG
@@192
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong; but
that's the way to bet.
  --DAMON RUNYON
@@193
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.  I want to achieve it
through not dying.
  --WOODY ALLEN
@@194
"As a matter of fact" is an expression that precedes many an
expression that isn't.
@@195
There's one way to find out if a man's honest: ask him; if he says yes,
you know he's crooked.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@196
The days just prior to marriage are like the snappy introduction
to a tedious book.
  --WILSON MIZNER
@@197
I like a man who grins when he fights.
  --WINSTON CHURCHILL
@@198
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
@@199
A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancee free.
@@200
The mouse that has one hole is quickly taken.
  --LATIN PROVERB
@@201
Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united
with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.
  --GOYA
@@202
Nothing succeeds like excess.
@@203
$100 placed at 7% interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase
to more than $100,000,000 - by which time it will be worth nothing.
@@204
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
@@205
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
@@206
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@207
A recession is when your neighbor loses his job.  A depression is when you
lose yours.
  --RONALD REAGAN
@@208
The fault of another is a good teacher.
  --GERMAN PROVERB
@@209
Begin well, end badly; begin badly, end worse.
@@210
Superior minds are concerned with ideas, average minds with events, and
inferior minds with personalities.
@@211
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
  --WILLIAM JAMES
@@212
An automobile is a machine for transportation that has a 200-inch wheelbase
and is about the width of a prostrate pedestrian.
@@213
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen
it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
  --BRENDAN BEHAN
@@214
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
@@215
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
@@216
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.  That's
deep enough.  What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
  --JEAN KERR
@@217
If it jams--force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
@@218
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you will look forward to the trip.
@@219
You can avoid criticism by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing.
@@220
The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@221
Just when you think you've found the answer, someone changes the question.
@@222
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
@@223
The wonderful thing about backseat driving is that you never make a mistake.
@@224
A journalist is a grumbler, a censurer, a giver of advice, a regent
of sovereigns, a tutor of nations.  Four hostile newspapers are more
to be feared than a thousand bayonets.
@@225
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
@@226
Reality is good sometimes for kicks, but don't let it get you down.
@@227
Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.
@@228
A little help at the right time is better than a lot of help at the
wrong time.
@@229
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
  --LEWIS MUMFORD
@@230
The secret to success in show business is sincerity.  If you can fake
that, you've got it made.
  --GEORGE BURNS
@@231
Direct quotes don't have to be exact, or even accurate.  Truth is as
irrelevant to a newspaper as it is to a court of law.
  --JUDGE ALARCON, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals
@@232
Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried.
  --THOMAS JEFFERSON
@@233
Lonely men seek companionship; lonely women sit home and wait.
They never meet.
@@234
Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally
disappears.
  --ROBERT W. SARNOFF
@@235
A free people always has the right to dismiss its rulers, whom it
regards as its servants, at any time.
@@236
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the
lesson afterward.
  --VERNON LAW
@@237
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half
by our children.
  --CLARENCE DARROW
@@238
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed".
  --DOROTHY PARKER
@@239
Children make the best opponents in Scrabble, as they are both easy to
beat AND fun to cheat.
  --FRAN LEBOWITZ
@@240
There are two things I dislike in a person, absentmindedness and... I
can't remember the other one.
@@241
The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female
reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent
as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.
  --F. SCOTT FITZGERALD
@@242
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did.  I said I
didn't know.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@243
Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts--for support, not
illumination.
@@244
Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained by people you
wouldn't have in your home.
  --DAVID FROST
@@245
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
@@246
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious
attractiveness of others.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@247
A meeting is a place where people get together to talk about what
they should be doing.
@@248
It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
@@249
A compromise is the art of dividing the cake in such a way that each
one thinks he is getting the biggest piece.
@@250
I thank God we live in a country where you have the right to burn the flag
if you want to.  And I thank God we live in a country where we have the
right to bear arms--so I can shoot you if you try to burn mine.
  --JOHNNY CASH
@@251
Exercise is bunk.  If you are healthy, you don't need it; if you are sick,
you shouldn't take it.
  --HENRY FORD
@@252
All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room
alone.
  --PASCAL
@@253
Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which
a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.
  --PETER DE VRIES
@@254
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
  --ART HOPPE
@@255
One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation
and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary
submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
  --BERTRAND RUSSELL
@@256
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
@@257
It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our
preaching.
  --ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI
@@258
No mortal man has ever served at the same time his passions and his best
interests.
  --GAIUS SALLUSTIUS CRISPUS
@@259
By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.
@@260
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
@@261
Prejudice is the reason of fools.
  --VOLTAIRE
@@262
A little ignorance can go a long way.
@@263
A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real
money.
  --EVERETT DIRKSEN
@@264
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
  --FRAN LEBOWITZ
@@265
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
  --STEPHEN LEACOCK
@@266
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
@@267
He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.
  --CHINESE PROVERB
@@268
If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what
they do not want to hear.
  --GEORGE ORWELL
@@269
Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them.
  --ALAN WATTS
@@270
Once, adv.:  Enough.
@@271
Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
ordinance under which you can be booked.
  --ROBERT D. SPRECHT, Rand Corp.
@@272
It is not the beard that makes the philosopher.
  --ITALIAN PROVERB
@@273
Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
  --SAMUEL BUTLER
@@274
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
@@275
A man's mind stretched by a new idea can never go back to its original
dimensions.
  --OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
@@276
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
  --PAUL ERLICH
@@277
Sex is hereditary.  If your parents never had it, chances are you
won't either.
  --JOSEPH FISCHER
@@278
Sceptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which
deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
  --CARL SAGAN
@@279
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
@@280
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
@@281
It takes about 10 years to get used to how old you are.
@@282
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
@@283
France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear
the toilet paper.
  --BILLY WILDER
@@284
If a tool is put away when you're sure it won't be needed again, it will.
Soon.
@@285
It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@286
To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
  --ANATOLE FRANCE
@@287
A pig ate his fill of acorns under an oak tree and then started to root
around the tree.  A crow remarked, "You should not do this.  If you lay
bare the roots, the tree will wither and die."
"Let it die," said the pig, "Who cares so long as there are acorns?"
@@288
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
  --LANGSTON HUGHES
@@289
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
  --RITA MAE BROWN
@@290
Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all
subversions.  It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.
  --WILLIAM O. DOUGLAS
@@291
No woman has ever stepped on Little America--and we have found it to be
the most silent and peaceful place in the world.
  --RICHARD E. BYRD
@@292
Most wallets wouldn't be so fat today if you took out the credit cards.
@@293
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows the corners.
@@294
It's what you know after you know it all that counts.
  --HARRY S. TRUMAN
@@295
What the poem and the novel have to say can be said in no other way.
  --CARLOS FUENTES
@@296
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
  --CONFUCIUS
@@297
A foot is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
@@298
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening ...
and also causes cancer in laboratory mice and is taxed beyond reality.
@@299
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding,
he sings.
@@300
An idea that isn't risky is hardly worth calling an idea.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@301
The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
  --LILY TOMLIN
@@302
It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one...
@@303
An easily-understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex,
incomprehensible truth.
@@304
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.
  --OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
@@305
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three
parts dead.
  --BERTRAND RUSSELL
@@306
Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
@@307
You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.
@@308
Celebrate Hannibal Day today.  Take an elephant to lunch.
@@309
When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
@@310
If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
@@311
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
  --ERMA BOMBECK
@@312
Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
@@313
If it ain't broke, you just haven't looked hard enough.
  --TOM PETERS
@@314
Happiness is getting here on time.
  --Berkeley Beer Hall Washroom Graffiti
@@315
I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not sure....
@@316
Make no little plans.  They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.
  --D.B. HUDSON
@@317
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall
in love.
@@318
What all people want is to work hard, come home, have a beer, and not
get blown up.
  --JIMMY BUFFET
@@319
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it is written on.
  --SAMUEL GOLDWYN
@@320
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names
the streets after them.
  --BILL VAUGHN
@@321
"State Of The Art" is technospeak for "unproven".
@@322
Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter.
@@323
Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with everything.
@@324
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a
simple system that works.
@@325
If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, you do have a problem.
  --RICHARD BACH
@@326
Friends: People who dislike the same people we do.
@@327
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
@@328
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything
is last year.
  --MARTY ALLEN
@@329
Friction is a drag...
@@330
Those who forget this sentence are condemned to reread it.
@@331
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
@@332
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support
of Paul.
  --G.B. SHAW
@@333
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
@@334
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink
what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@335
A republic is a people locked in civil debate.  When that debate ends,
so does the republic.
@@336
"It's state-of-the-art"
"But it doesn't work!"
"That is the state-of-the-art".
@@337
A bathroom hook will be loaded to capacity immediately upon becoming
available.  This also applies to freeways, closets, playgrounds,
downtown hotels, taxis, parking lots, wallets, purses, pockets, and
so on.  The list is endless.
@@338
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening
to him.
@@339
There is nothing so simple that it can't be done wrong.
@@340
The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind
to correlate all its contents.
  --H.P. LOVECRAFT
@@341
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
@@342
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.
  --ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
@@343
What a strange machine man is!  You fill him with bread, wine, fish and
radishes, and out of him come sighs, laughter and dreams.
  --NIKOS KAZANTZAKIS [Zorba The Greek]
@@344
Hors d'oeuvres-- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
@@345
To err is human--to blame it on someone else is even more human.
@@346
When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.
  --VICTOR BORGE
@@347
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
  --BOOK OF PROVERBS
@@348
The attacker must vanquish; the defender needs only to survive.
@@349
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
  --DEAN ACHESON
@@350
A relationship is like a shark.  It has to keep moving forward or it dies.
@@351
You don't have to explain something you never said.
  --CALVIN COOLIDGE
@@352
We must believe in free will - we have no choice.
  --ISAAC SINGER
@@353
Always forgive your enemies--nothing annoys them so much.
  --OSCAR WILDE
@@354
The best science fiction is generally produced not by those with simply the
most bizarre imaginations but by those who, looking to the future, reveal
the most insight into the unchanging character of human behavior.
  --RUSSELL NEUMAN
@@355
There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light
objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.
@@356
If not controlled, work flows to the competent person until he is submerged.
@@357
Be careful how you get yourself involved with persons or situations
that cannot bear inspection.
@@358
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame
it on.
@@359
A cynic is man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
@@360
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you
are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
  --P.G. WODEHOUSE
@@361
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last
resort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but
inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@362
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
@@363
That life is worth living is the most necessary of assumptions, and, were it
not assumed, the most impossible of conclusions.
  --GEORGE SANTAYANA
@@364
Knowledge is knowing that E=MC2.  Wisdom is knowing why that matters.
  --COL. JEFF COOPER
@@365
I grew up to have my father's looks--my father's speech patterns--my father's
posture--my father's walk--my father's opinions and my mother's contempt for
my father.
  --JULES FEIFFER
@@366
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either
one being made.
@@367
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of
your action.
@@368
Some people take the bull by the horns--others shoot it.
@@369
In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
  --FRIEDRICH NIETZCHE
@@370
It is useless to go to bed to save the light, if the result is twins.
  --CHINESE PROVERB
@@371
Woman would be much more charming if one could fall into her arms without
falling into her hands.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@372
It is a good thing that beauty is only skin deep or I would be rotten to
the core.
  --PHYLLIS DILLER
@@373
Diligence is the mother of good luck.
  --FRENCH PROVERB
@@374
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest
shopping center in the world?
  --RICHARD M. NIXON
@@375
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
@@376
The emptier the pot, the quicker it boils.
@@377
Promptness is it's own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the
sword.
@@378
A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."  "However," replied the
universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
@@379
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
@@380
Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart
enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
  --EUGENE McCARTHY
@@381
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
@@382
Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.
  --A.G. BUCKHAM
@@383
No opportunity is lost; the other fellow takes it.
@@384
I wish that people who have trouble communicating would just shut up!
  --TOM LEHRER
@@385
Your son at five is your master, at ten your slave, at fifteen your double,
and after that, your friend or or your foe, depending on his bringing up.
  --HASDI IBN SHAPRUT
@@386
A penny saved is ridiculous.
@@387
A great fortune is a great slavery.
@@388
Use it up ... Wear it out.
Make it do ... Or do without.
  --U.S. WORLD WAR II MESSAGE
@@389
Force has no place where there is need of skill.
@@390
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate,
but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@391
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
@@392
Generally, it is easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
@@393
Unless we change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are
headed.
  --OLD CHINESE PROVERB
@@394
In our country we have three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech,
freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@395
It's impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
@@396
The Optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds.
... The Pessimist fears this is true.
@@397
War is the last refuge of incompetent statesmen.
@@398
The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and
significance of any persons watching it.
@@399
The probability of someone watching you is directly related to the
stupidity of your actions.
@@400
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
  --WILLIE SUTTON
@@401
God invented Protestants because somebody has got to pay retail.
@@402
You know it's going to be a bad day when
  ...your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  ...you wake up face down on the pavement.
@@403
He who enters contest is optimistic as submarine with screen doors.
@@404
A husband is what's left of the lover once the nerve has been extracted.
  --HELEN ROWLAND
@@405
There are a lot of lies going around... and half of them are true.
  --WINSTON CHURCHILL
@@406
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every
organism to live beyond its income.
  --SAMUEL BUTLER
@@407
Why shouldn't things be largely absurd, futile, and transitory?  They are
so, and we are so, and they and we go very well together.
  --GEORGE SANTAYANA
@@408
A camel is a horse planned by committee.
@@409
We are going to have peace, even if we have to fight for it.
  --DWIGHT D EISENHOWER
@@410
When there is no wind, ROW.
@@411
The Noah principle-- No more prizes for predicting rain.  Prizes only for
building arks.
@@412
Constants aren't; variables don't.
@@413
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
@@414
A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
@@415
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
  --BILLY ROSE
@@416
Never say anything more predictive than "Watch this!"
@@417
In an insane world the only sane men are crucified, shot, jailed, or
classified as insane themselves.
@@418
Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
@@419
Women in general want to be loved for what they are and men for what they
accomplish.
  --THEODOR REIK
@@420
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of
the species.
  --W. SOMERET MAUGHAM
@@421
Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
  --DOROTHY
@@422
Two rights don't make a wrong, they make an airplane.
@@423
Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world.
  --R.D. LAING
@@424
If ignorance isn't bliss, I don't know what is.
@@425
Tax Shelter-- A way to spend a buck to save fifty cents.
@@426
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
@@427
There are four types of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and
praiseworthy.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@428
If there is a way to delay an important decision, the good bureaucracy,
public or private, will find it.
@@429
All great discoveries are made by accident.
@@430
History doesn't repeat itself--historians merely repeat each other.
@@431
Real programmers don't comment their code.  If it was hard to write,
it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
@@432
After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
@@433
The only cultural advantage to living in California is being able to turn
right on a red light.
  --WOODY ALLEN
@@434
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones
she can't stand years later.
@@435
Nothing is less worthy of honor than an old man who has no other evidence of
having lived long except for his age.
  --SENECA (the Younger)
@@436
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
@@437
Justice is incidental to law and order.
  --J. EDGAR HOOVER
@@438
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly
proportional to the cost of the carpet.
@@439
If you can't do, teach.  If you can't teach, teach phys-ed.
@@440
Old age is a wonderful thing.  You outlive your enemies.
  --THOMAS HART BENTON
@@441
If there are only two shows on TV worth watching this week, they will be on
at the same time.
@@442
Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
  --BULLWINKLE MOOSE
@@443
You must realize that the computer has it in for you.  The irrefutable
proof of this is that the computer always does what you tell it to do.
@@444
Next time, give "the gift that keeps on giving"; a female kitten.
@@445
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
@@446
A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles
in the road.
  --ALEXANDER SMITH
@@447
Learning is a feast for the mind and spirit and a source of lasting joy.
@@448
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.
@@449
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as
possible from one class of citizens to give to the other.
  --VOLTAIRE
@@450
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
  --MAE WEST
@@451
If things appear to be going well, you have overlooked something.
@@452
Indecision is the basis for flexibility.
@@453
Life is a do-it-yourself job.
@@454
Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired.  My heart is sad and sick.  From where
the sun now stands I will fight no more forever.
  --CHIEF JOSEPH
@@455
Of children as of procreation--the pleasure momentary, the posture
ridiculous, the expense damnable.
  --EVELYN WAUGH
@@456
Why do they call them "briefings" when they take SO LONG?
  --DARYL WESTFALL
@@457
A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can
do in an hour.
@@458
Life by the yard is hard; by the inch it's a cinch.
@@459
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
@@460
A realist lets circumstances decide which end of the telescope to
look through.
@@461
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
@@462
A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
  --BISMARK
@@463
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
  --DOROTHY PARKER
@@464
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@465
Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure
diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.
  --VOLTAIRE
@@466
Science and Religion have this in common: you must take care to distinguish
both from the people who claim to represent each of them.
@@467
Better a cottage where one is merry than a palace where one weeps.
  --CHINESE PROVERB
@@468
Consider your reputation.  Try changing your name and moving to a new
town.
@@469
Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@470
To live is not so much to achieve goals as to participate in the process.
@@471
Anything's possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
@@472
A bird in the hand is good, but remember it has wings.
@@473
Death and taxes are both certain, but death isn't an annual event.
@@474
Better that a man's own works, than another man's words should praise him.
@@475
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@476
He who hesitates is not only lost, he's several miles from the next exit!
@@477
The good die young--because they see it's no use living if you've got to
be good.
  --JOHN BARRYMORE
@@478
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the
better lawyer.
  --ROBERT FROST
@@479
Disco is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art!
@@480
Look after the molehills, and the mountains will look after themselves.
@@481
For every credibility gap, there is a gulliblity gap.
  --RICHARD NIXON
@@482
Information deteriorates upwards through bureaucracies.
@@483
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
@@484
Burnt Sienna.  That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
  --KEN WEAVER
@@485
If you have a difficult task, give it it someone lazy--they'll find an
easier way to do it.
@@486
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
@@487
Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a
human soul.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@488
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@489
Spend enough time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
@@490
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations one
can do without thinking about them.
@@491
A man never discloses his character so clearly as when he describes
another's.
@@492
Always put off until tomorrow the things you shouldn't do at all.
@@493
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
@@494
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then
the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
  --GERALD WEINBERG
@@495
Americans are broad-minded people.  They'll accept the fact that a person
can be an alcholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman,
but if a man doesn't drive there's something wrong with him.
  --ART BUCHWALD
@@496
The sexual revolution went too far informationwise.  When you find phrases
like "suck face" as a euphemism for "kiss" it sort of takes the zing out of
intimate personal contact.
  --IAN SHOALES
@@497
If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care
of myself.
  --PHIL HARRIS
@@498
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
@@499
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
  --GORUCHO MARX
@@500
There are only two kinds of men: those righteous who believe themselves
sinners; the others sinners who believe themselves righteous.
  --BLAISE PASCAL
@@501
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
@@502
Today is the last day of your life so far.
@@503
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is
never sure.
@@504
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
@@505
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably
not true.  It is the chief occupation of mankind.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@506
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly
from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.
  --GEORGES CLEMENCEAU
@@507
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.
@@508
Give me a fish and I will eat today.  Teach me to fish and I will eat
forever.
@@509
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
@@510
Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of those
authorizing can be blamed if the project fails, but all can take credit
if it succeeds.
@@511
Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
  --HOLBROOK JOHNSON
@@512
Sight is a faculty; seeing is an art.
@@513
Time is nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once.
@@514
Misfortune:  The kind of fortune that never misses.
@@515
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women
he couldn't.
@@516
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters
needs pounding.
  --ABRAHAM KAPLAN
@@517
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
you should.
@@518
Truth, like light, blinds.  Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful
twilight that enhances every object.
  --ALBERT CAMUS
@@519
The Perversity Of Nature-- You cannot successfully determine beforehand
which side of the bread to butter.
@@520
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple.
No one can count the apples in a seed.
@@521
Live today; you can always procrastinate tomorrow...
@@522
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he
knows absolutely everything about nothing.
@@523
Computer Science:  A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking
the precision of the former and the success of the latter...
@@524
It's not the size of the ship, it's the size of the waves.
  --LITTLE RICHARD
@@525
To be or not to be ---- Shakespeare
To be is to do -------- Kant
To do is to be -------- Nietzsche
Do be do be do -------- SINATRA
@@526
Brain:  The apparatus with which we think that we think.
@@527
"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and
if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic."
  --LEWIS CARROLL
@@528
Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their
hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.
  --H.L. MENCKEN
@@529
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may be radioactive.
@@530
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
@@531
A person who can't lead and won't follow makes a dandy roadblock.
@@532
Lack of planning on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on our part!
@@533
Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
@@534
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
  --ANDREW W. MATHIAS
@@535
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
@@536
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
@@537
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
@@538
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reaons.
  --BERTRAND RUSSELL
@@539
Remember, only dead fish swim with the stream...
@@540
A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of
conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.
  --LAURENCE J. PETER
@@541
When life knocks you to your knees, you are in position to pray.
@@542
Marriage has many pains but celibacy no pleasures.
  --SAMUEL JOHNSON
@@543
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about
them.
  --HEISENBERG
@@544
When God endowed human beings with brains, He did so without warranty.
@@545
Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the
wrong direction.
  --ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
@@546
A company is known by the people it keeps.
@@547
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@548
The only person who likes change is a wet baby.
  --ROY Z-M BLITZER
@@549
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
  --BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
@@550
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
@@551
Always do the "right" thing; this will gratify some people and astonish
the rest.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@552
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
  --NIETZSCHE
@@553
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
@@554
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
  --SIGMUND FREUD
@@555
The road to success is always under construction.
@@556
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of...
@@557
A carelessly planned project takes three times longer than expected;
a carefully planned project will only take twice as long.
@@558
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with
that it's compounding a felony.
  --ROBERT BENCHLEY
@@559
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without
knowledge, of things without parallel.
  --AMBROSE BIERCE
@@560
Freedom of the press is guaranteed to those who own one.
  --A.J. LIEBLING
@@561
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints-- Nobody notices when things go right.
@@562
A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one
who is prematurely disappointed in the future.
  --SIDNEY HARRIS
@@563
Whatever you can do, or dream you can...begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
  --GEOTHE
@@564
All men know the utility of useful things, but not the utility of futility.
@@565
More than at any other time in history mankind faces a crossroads.
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness; the other to total
extinction.  Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
  --WOODY ALLEN
@@566
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
@@567
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee...
that will do them in.
@@568
Love is two minutes fifty-two seconds of squishing noises.  It shows your
mind isn't clicking right.
  --JOHNNY ROTTEN
@@569
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all
the old brochures, and stamp the words 'user-friendly' on the cover.
  --BILL GATES, Microsoft,Inc.
@@570
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's
the parts that I do understand.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@571
A bird in the hand is safer than two overhead.
@@572
A king's castle is his home.
@@573
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
  --BERT LANTZ
@@574
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good
for dandruff--it is a palliative rather than a remedy.
  --PETER DE VRIES
@@575
Real programmers don't eat quiche.  Real programmers don't even know how
to spell quiche.  They live on Twinkies, Doritos, Coke and Szwechuan food.
@@576
Disease can be cured; fate is incurable.
@@577
Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
  --BO DIDDLEY
@@578
A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he is
surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does.
@@579
Discovery consists of seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking
what no one else has thought.
  --ALBERT SZENT-GYORGI
@@580
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
  --DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER
@@581
Behold the turtle.  He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.
  --JAMES BRYANT CONAN
@@582
Procrastination:  The art of keeping up with yesterday.
@@583
People smart enough to give good advice are usually smart enough to give
none.
@@584
Never play cards with a man called Doc.
@@585
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
  --M.C. ESCHER
@@586
Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a
child at play.
  --HERACLITUS
@@587
I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll.  Any
dietician will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four
times the vitamins of a bushel of beans.
  --S.J. PERELMAN
@@588
Anyone can hate.  It costs to love.
  --JOHN WILLIAMSON
@@589
Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
@@590
From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
@@591
The nation state is too small to solve the problems of the world and too
big to solve the problems of the city.
  --NORMAN COUSINS
@@592
This universe never did make sense; I suspect that it was built on
government contract.
@@593
To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct
for it.
  --SAMUEL BUTLER
@@594
It can probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctively
native American criminal class except Congress.
  --MARK TWAIN
@@595
Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when
I grow up.
  --PETER DRUCKER
@@596
No matter how well a toupee blends in at the back, it always looks like
hell at the front.
@@597
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
@@598
We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.
  --BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
@@599
You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is
that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
  --W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
@@600
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.