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RUBY40-1
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1995-01-02
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4KB
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81 lines
Copyright 1994(c)
SING... SING A SONG
A Ruby Begonia Column
By Del Freeman
"Okay, Freemans, I got'cher answer. Again," said Ruby.
"What was our question?" asked David.
"You been trying to get'cher wife to go to work and make a
living, ain'tchou? Well, I got the perfect occupation," Ruby
announced.
"You found her a job as a buyer?" asked David.
"Huh?" said Ruby.
"A buyer," David repeated. "Buying. It's what she's good at."
"But you ain't got no money," Ruby pointed out.
"See what I mean?" asked David, rhetorically.
Rhetoric was, as always, lost on Ruby.
"I don't see that makes no sense a-tall," she judged. "Del's
a born buyer and you ain't got no money. Sounds like a bad match
to me. Now what I got in mind for her, well, it's a natural," Ruby
said.
"Will it require showing up the same place every workday at
the same time?" asked David. "You know how she hates that."
"Nah, that's part of why it's perfect," said Ruby. "The hours
is flexible, the pay is wicked good considerin' what-all you ain't
got to do for it, an' there's great opportunity to pick up all
sorts a'bucks on the side. She might have to take some singing
lessons, but that's all."
"Singing lessons?" asked David.
"Yep, I see that as the key to the future."
"She can't carry a tune in a moving van," said David. "How
come your schemes always involve something impossible?"
"Do not," said Ruby. "You just got to believe, that's all.
Believe and work hard."
"Okay, let's say she could learn to carry a tune just for
argument's sake," said David. "What is it you've got in mind?"
"Politics," said Ruby.
David guffawed.
"I'm serious, here, Freeman," said Ruby. "She's just got to
learn to sing. And change her party, of course."
"You'll never sell her that elephant," said David.
"Got to," said Ruby. "That's part of it. The pork-pork-here
people are in charge and she's got to get on the bandwagon."
"And what does singing have to do with it?" asked David.
"Ain'chou watchin' the news, Freeman? Singing's the key. I
used to think it was good hair, but I was wrong. I see it all
clearly, now. I'm gonna be her campaign manager an' we're gonna
propel her to victory. Of course, repertoire may be a problem," she
mused.
"Why is that?" asked David. "I think she once sang Glow Little
Glowworm, or some such in a recital about 300 years ago or
something, so maybe she can carry a tune if it's not too tricky."
"Well, this is a something a little less challenging than
that," said Ruby.
"So you said," said David. "It's your tendency to believe in
all creatures small and green that worries me."
"Green ain't got nothing to do with it, but that is an idea
for a tune," Ruby made a note. "It ain't easy bein' green," she
wrote.
"Let me see that list," said David, snatching it from her
hand.
"Three Blind Mice?" he asked. "Round and Round the Mulberry
Bush? London Bridge is Falling Down? This is going to get her
elected?" he asked in derision.
"Why not?" Ruby answered. "Pork, pork here made Demented a
honcho. Itsy, Bitsy Spider swept Eddie Kennedy back into office?
I don't see no reason why it won't work for Del."
"Ted," said David, automatically.
"Huh?" said Ruby.
"It's Ted Kennedy."
"Whatever," said Ruby.
"You may be right, Ruby," David said, and sighed. "Politics
in this country has pretty much become a children's nursery rhyme.
I don't know if you'll get Del to go for this, though. I don't
remember that she was particularly impressed with the "pork, pork,
here," tune.
"Geez, then I reckon she's really gonna balk at the coonskin
cap, huh?" Ruby lamented.
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