ftp.wwiv.com/ftp.wwiv.com.zip/ftp.wwiv.com/pub/BBS/FARMSIGN.ZIP/SIGN.LIS

File List | 1992-01-30 | 10KB | 268 lines

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;  Signatures/sayings
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!retupmoc siht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
A friend in need is a pain in the ass.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man's best friend is his dogma.
A man's house is his hassle.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A seven day honeymoon makes one weak.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Add toner.
Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
All general statements are false.
All models over 18 years of age.
Always remove the last screw first.
Amnesia rules - O
Anarchy, No rules - OK?
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purley coincidental.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Apply only to affected area.
Approved for veterans.
Arsonists of the world, ignite!
As seen on TV.
At participating locations only.
Avoid contact with skin.
Batteries not included.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Beware of dog.
Biology grows on you.
Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
Booths for two or more.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Call toll free before digging.
Can't underestimate the power of fear.
Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
Check here if tax deductible.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Children please get your parents permission before calling.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Constipation is the thief of time.
Contains a substaintial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Contents may settle during shipment.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Conversation enriches the understanding,
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.
Definition: BOAT - Purchase - "Chester BOAT a new tractor."
Definition: CLAWS - What people forget to do to doors.
Definition: CRAP - agricultural product - "Bad CRAP again this year."
Definition: HURT - Vital organ - "She broke his HURT."
Definition: JUICE - Isrealites.
Definition: LANE - To lie - "Poppa's LANE down."
Definition: PIN - Writing instrument filled with ink.
Definition: POET - To transfer a liquid - "Just POET down the sink!"
Definition: STOCK - A big white bird that brings babies.
Definition: TEXAS - Compulsory payments to the government.
Definition: TOAD - Direction of - "Turn left an take I85 TOAD Atlanta."
Design flaws travel in groups.
Do not attempt this at home.
Do not disturb.
Do not place metal inside oven.
Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.
Do not stamp.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Do not write below this line.
Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
Don't drink water, fish breed in it.
Don't get mad, get even.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac,
Draw your salary before spending it.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Driver carries $20.00 or Less.
Driver does not carry cash.
Drop in any mailbox.
Dyslexia rules KO.
Dyslexics of the world untie !
Edited for television.
Employees and their families are not eligible.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Experiments should be reproducable,
Expert - anyone from out of town.
External Storage - Wastebasket.
Falling rock.
Familiarity breeds.
First pull up, then pull down.
For off-road use only.
For office use only.
For recreational use only.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Friction is a drag.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
Happiness is wanting what you have.
Have you tried on your smile today?
He who hesitates is last.
How you look depends on where you go.
I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'll never drink again.
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
If condition persists, consult your physician.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
If it looks easy, it's tough...
If it looks tough, it's impossible.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it works, Don't fix it.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
If you leave the room, you're elected.
If you wait, it will go away.
If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
Individualists unite!
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
It won't work.
It's easier to do good then be good.
Jesus Saves - not on my salary he doesn't.
Keep away from fire or flame.
Keep cool; process promptly.
Knowledge is knowing that you don't know.
Laetrile is the pits.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laughter lubes lifes engine.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Leakproof seals ... don't.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
List at least two alternate dates.
List each check separately by bank number.
List was current at time of printing.
Loan someone a sympathetic ear.
Lord give me patience......But Hurry!
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Love is a matter of chemistry.
Mad at your neighbor?  Buy his kid a drum!
Mail Media. Do not expose to Flames!
Many suitcases look alike.
May all your wishes be granted.
May be too intense for some viewers.
May contain unverified food products.
May you live in interesting times.
Negative slack tends to increase.
No alcohol, dogs, or horses.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
No Canadian coins.
No other warranty expressed or implied.
No passes accepted for this engagement.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
No purchase necessary.
No solicitors.
No Tipping Please.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
Not recommended for children.
Not responsible for damages resulting from any error.
Not the Beatles.
Oh never mind!
Old age = you + 20 years.
Old frogs never die...but they do croak.
One size fits all.
Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
Penalty for private use.
Place stamp here.
Pop up, push down, Byte, Byte, Byte!
Post office will not deliver without postage.
Postage will be paid by addressee.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
Prerecorded for this time zone.
Price does not include taxes.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Programmers get overlaid!
Raise ducks for a quack profit.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
Reduce your i.o.u. to i.r.s with an i.r.a.
Replace with same type.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Respect must be earned, not commanded.
Restaurant package, not for resale.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
Sanitized for your protection.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
See label for sequence.
Shading within a garment may occur.
She's a bird in a gilded cage.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Silence cannot be misquoted.
Simulated picture.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
Slippery when wet.
Smith's Law: Murphy was an optimist!
Some assembly required.
Some equipment shown is optional.
Subject to CAB approval.
Subject to change without notice.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Success isn't how far you got.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
Swallow your pride, it is non-fattening.
Take an astronaut to launch.
Take it from me - he's got the goods.
Tell a child he got 1 right, not 99 wrong.
That does not compute.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The biggest mistake that you can make
The cycle will repeat itself.
The greatest ability is dependability.
The more you say, the less people remember.
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
The other line moves faster.
The population is growing.
The real world is a special case.
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.
The telephone will ring when you are outside
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are truths which can kill a nation.
There's a sucker born every minute.
There's always one more bug.
Things work better if you plug them in.
This is not an offer to sell securities.
This page intentionally left blank.
This product is meant for educational purposes only.
This supersedes all previous notices.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Times approximate.
To be is to do.
To be or not to be - Shakespeare
To do is to be.
To every exception there is a rule.
Too busy to laugh?  Then you are too busy.
Unknown: soon to be grunged, somewhere.
Unwritten laws can not be erased.
Use only as directed.
Use only in well-ventilated area.
Use other side for additional listings.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
Void where prohibited.
Wanna do something big?  Pick up a boulder.
We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you.
Well done is better then well said.
What's tennis without a racket?
What's worth doing is worth doing for money.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all else fails, read the manual.
When in doubt, mumble.
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
Why does bread always fall butter side down?
Why stop now, just when I'm hating it?
Windows Error: 002 No error . . . yet.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Xerox...all they ever do is copy.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
You must be present to win.
Your cancelled check is your recipt.