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- sex, lies and floppy disks
-
- by Jim Taylor
-
- She rests upon the table across the room, silently beckoning me.
- "Come," she says, "come let me share my pleasures with you."
-
- "No," I protest, "my body still aches from our last meeting."
-
- "This time it will be different," she promises, "join with me for
- just a moment, feel my power and grace. Let me take you to those
- places only I can lead you."
-
- Silently she sits. She knows that no matter my effort she will
- tempt me.
-
- With the mixed emotions of revulsion and desire, I rise from my
- seat and slowly cross the room.
-
- She comes to life under my touch, humming with power and
- presence. Hands still cramped with memories of the day before, I
- gently caress her. Instantly she responds in glowing phosphor.
-
- My eyes, bloodshot and tired from their fixation upon her
- luminous face, focus on the words she presents me.
-
- I clench my hand in anger, ready to strike. "I hate you," I cry,
- "and I love you too, for the hold you have over me." I unclasp my
- fist and gently stroke her keys. I wonder to myself how one
- entity can be the cause of so much pain yet so much joy?
-
- No matter. In moments I forget myself, the pain, lost in our
- dance of mutual response. I touch her and she reacts, perfectly
- each time. She is my electronic mistress, always ready to do my
- every bidding.
-
- I lie to myself about the time I spend with her. Moments are
- stolen from other places in order that I might share her embrace.
- She teaches me and I her. She frustrates me regularly and just
- when I'm about to renounce her forever, she does something new
- and unexpected, exciting my curiosity.
-
- I cannot claim fidelity towards her. I have lusted after younger
- and more powerful versions. In stores, I've touched them in much
- the same way I have touched her. I've longed to posses them as I
- possess her. And some day when she is old and no longer what I
- want, I will probably abandon her for something sleeker and
- faster.
-
- I have cheated on her in the past and will do so again, with
- former loves and even the mistresses of others. For this I am
- unrepentant.
-
- Yet, even after all this, she still responds to my strokes.
- Denying me only when my own ignorance comes between us.
- Responding to me like she does no other. Always waiting for
- whatever I'm willing to give her.
-
- But in the end, it will all be different. She will forget me, her
- memory wiped clean and formatted fresh. Her keys caressed by
- hands other than my own or collecting dust in some forgotten
- place while younger lovers entice me to new and different places.
-
- The ultimate irony. I will not be even a distant fading memory.
- In that future I may well be a stranger. She will be as she once
- was, but I will be changed forever for having known her. Her
- input into my personality will echo long after her insides have
- grown cold. And in some ways I will be a better person for it.
-
- Even with future loves I will remember her and the days we danced
- with pain and joy.
-
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-
- Copyright 1991 Jim Taylor.
- All rights reserved.
-
- Attention Editors & Publishers:
-
- If you'd like to purchase reprint rights to this article please
- write:
-
- Jim Taylor
- Suite 110
- 2594-96 Berlin Turnpike
- Newington, Connecticut 06111
-
- Very reasonable rates and courteous service. Make me an offer.
-
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