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- WORK RULES
-
- 1. SICKNESS: This is not allowed under any circumstances. We will no
- longer accept your doctor's statement as proof of your illness. If
- you can walk to your doctor you can certainly get to work.
-
- 2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: This practice must stop from
- today. We wish to dsicourage any thoughts that you may not need all
- of whatever you have and you should not consider having anything
- removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed
- certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
-
- 3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: You must arrange to attend all funerals
- very late in the day after your work is done. Providing this is
- adhered to we will consider letting you go one hour earlier. Please
- be sure to put this in writing.
-
- 4. DEATH, YOUR OWN: This acceptable as an excuse, but we would like at
- least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone
- else your job. Treat this point as important.
-
- 5. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the loo.
- In the future you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical
- order. For instance, those with surnames beginning with "A" will be
- allowed to go from 9-9:05 and so on. If you are unable to go at
- your appointed time you must wait until the next day when your time
- comes around again.
-
- 6. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do you'll never do enough.
- If you disagree please see your shop steward/supervisor.
-
- 7. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection at all
- times.
-
- 8. ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live frog the first thing in the morning and
- you will be hopping around all day and certainly nothing worse can
- happen to you the rest of the day.
-
- 9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT: Even in his absence.
-
- 10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG REFER TO RULE 9.
-