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  1.  
  2. From UseNET's "rec.humor" newsgroup comes...
  3.  
  4. *** THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS -- AS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE! ***
  5.  
  6. Compiled (NOT drawn) by: ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU (Eric W. Tilenius)
  7.  
  8.  
  9.          (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
  10.          (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  11.   /-------\/       /-------\/       /-------\/       /-------\/
  12.  / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||
  13. *  ||----||      *  ||W---||      *  ||w---||      *  ||V---||
  14.    ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~
  15.      Cow           Cow laden        Same cow       Betty Ford-type
  16.                    with milk     after milking     cow with milk
  17.  
  18.          (___)             (___)    *        (___)             (___)
  19.          (o o)             (o o)     \       (o o)             (o o)
  20.   /-------\ /       /-------\ /       \-------\ /       /-------\ /
  21.  / |     ||O       / |     ||O         |     ||O       / | ~#>-+|O
  22. *  ||,---||       *  ||@\--||          ||,---||       *  ||,----|
  23.    ~~    ~~          ~~    ~~          ~~    ~~          ~~     ~
  24.      Bull       Same bull after    Rotc bull after    Red-blooded American Bull
  25.                 seeing above cow   seeing other bull   shooting the Rotc bull
  26.  
  27.  
  28.          (__)             (__)             (__)             (__)
  29.          (oo)             (oo)             (oo)             (oo)
  30.   /-------\/-*     /-------\/       /-------\/   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  31.  / |     || \     )*)(\/* /  *     / |     ||
  32. *  ||----||  *   \ |||/)|/()(    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  33. \/|(/)(/\/(,,/   \)|(/\/|)(/\
  34.   Cow munching   Grass munching   Cow in water       Cow in trouble
  35.     on grass         on cow
  36.  
  37.           (__)             (__)    *        (__) *      (__)
  38.           (oo)             (oo)     \       (oo) |      (oo)
  39.   /--------\/      /-oooooo-\/       \-------\/  \-------\/
  40.  * o|     ||      * ooooooooo     o  o|     ||   /     ||
  41.     ||----||     ooooooooooooo        ||----||>==/-----||
  42.  ooo~~    ~~    ooooooooooooooooo     ~~    ~~         ~~
  43.   Cow taking      Cow in deep         Cow getting the shit
  44.     shit              shit             kicked out of her
  45.  
  46.          (__)
  47.          (oo)                       U
  48.   /-------\/                    /---V
  49.  / |     ||                    * |--|                       .
  50. *  ||----||
  51.    ~~    ~~
  52. Cow at 1 meter.         Cow at 100 meters.        Cow at 10,000 meters.
  53.  
  54.          (__)                     )__(                vv    vv
  55.          (oo)                     (oo)                ||----||  *
  56.   /-------\/               *-------\/                 ||     | /
  57.  / |     ||               / |     ||                 /\-------/
  58. *  ||----||              /  ||----||                (oo)
  59.    ~~    ~~                 vv    vv                (~~)
  60.  
  61. American Cow              Polish Cow            Australian Cow
  62.  
  63.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  64.          (oo)                ____ (oo)                _---_(oo)
  65.   /-------\/               /-    --\/               /-     -\/
  66.  / |     ||               / |     ||               /|      ||
  67. *  ||----||              *  ||___-||              *  ||___-||
  68.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  69. Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow             Freshman Cow
  70. Arriving at Rit     After the "Freshman 15"    After the "Freshman 20"
  71.  
  72.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  73.          (OO)                     (@@)                     (xx)
  74.   /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
  75.  / |     ||               / |     ||               / |     ||
  76. *  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
  77.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  78. Cow who drank Jolt       Cow who ate              Cow who used Jolt to wash
  79.                       psychadelic mushrooms      down psychadelic mushrooms
  80.  
  81.                   ________________________
  82.          (__)    /                        \
  83.          (oo)   (  Meet our great leader!  )
  84.   /-------\/  --'\________________________/
  85.  / |     ||
  86. *  ||----||
  87.    ~~    ~~
  88.                                                    #            #
  89.                                                   ##            ##
  90.                                                  ##              ##
  91.                                                 ##                ##
  92.                                                 ##                ##
  93.                                                 ###              ###
  94.         M     M    OOOO     OOOO                 ###   ######   ###
  95.         MM   MM   O    O   O    O                #######    #######
  96.         M M M M   O    O   O    O               #                  #
  97.         M  M  M   O    O   O    O              #    ###      ###    #
  98.         M     M   O    O   O    O             #    #   #    #   #    #
  99.         M     M    OOOO     OOOO              #    # ###    # ###    #
  100.                                    \\         #     ###      ###     #
  101.                                     \\         #                    #
  102.                                      \\________ #     ########     #
  103.                                       \--------  #   # ##  ## #   #
  104.                                                   #  #        #  #
  105.                                          #########  # # #### # #
  106.                                    ######              ######   ####
  107.         ###########################                                ###
  108.       ##                                                             ##
  109.     ##                                     #                          #
  110.    #  ##                                   #                          #
  111.   #  # #                                    #       #         #       #
  112.   # #  #                                    #      #           #      #
  113.   # #   #               #                    #     #           #     #
  114.   # #    #              #                    #    #             #    #
  115.   # #     #            #                     #    #             #    #
  116.   # #      #          #                      #    #          ####    #
  117.   # #       #        #####                    #  #        ###    #  #
  118.   # #        #      #   # #####################  #########       #  #
  119.   # #       #      #   #                      #  #               #  #
  120.   # #      #      #   #                       #  #               #  #
  121.  #   #      #    #   #                        #  #               #  #
  122.   # #        #   #   #                        #  #               #  #
  123.    #          #   #   #                       #  #               #  #
  124.                ##### ###                      ####               ####
  125.                 ###### ###                   ######             ######
  126.  
  127.  
  128.                                          /\                  __
  129.                                         /  \                 ||
  130.              (__)                 (__)  \  /               (_||_)
  131.              SooS                 (oo)   \/                 (oo)
  132.       /------S\/S          /-------\/    /S          /-------\/
  133.      / |     ||           / |     ||    /  S        / |     ||
  134.     *  ||----||          *  ||----||___/    S      *  ||----||
  135.        ~~    ~~             ~~    ~~                  ~~    ~~
  136.     This cow belonged     Ben Franklin owned       Abe Lincoln's
  137.   to George Washington       this cow                   cow
  138.  
  139.                                                  (__)
  140.          *        (__)                           (oo)
  141.           \       (oo)                     /------\/
  142.            \-------\/                     /|  |/  |
  143.             | ==$ ||                     / |  [) ||
  144.             ||----||                    *  ||----||
  145.             ~~    ~~                       ~~    ~~
  146.      Old "One Arm" belonged           This cow was given to
  147.        to Ceasar's Palace           Hugh Hefner for his Birthday
  148.  
  149.                   (___)               (__)      (__)
  150.                   ( O )               (oo)      (oo)
  151.            /-------\ /                 \/--------\/
  152.           / |     ||V                   |        |
  153.          *  ||----||                    ||------||
  154.             ~~    ~~                    ~~      ~~
  155.   The cyclops that Jason and         This cow lived with
  156. the Argonauts met had this cow          Dr. Doolittle
  157.  
  158.              (__)                   (__)
  159.              [##]                   (@o)
  160.       /-------\/             /-------\/              /-------  (__)
  161.      / |     ||             / |     ||              / |     || (oo)
  162.     *  ||----||            *  ||----||             *  ||----|---\/
  163.        ~~    ~~               ~~    ~~                ~~    ~
  164.  This cow belonged      This cow lived with      This cow belonged to
  165.   to Flash Gordon       the Little Rascals       the Headless Horseman
  166.  
  167.                     (____)             (____)                           (____)
  168.                     (oo  )                (o  o)                        ( O O)
  169.          /-----------\  /          /-----\    /----          /-----------\  /
  170.         / ||       |  \/          / |   |  \/   |           / ||       |  \/
  171.        /  ||       ||||           \ |  |      | | |        /  ||       ||||
  172.       *   ||||-----||||            *| | |-----| | |       *   ||||-----||||
  173.           /\/\     /\/\             /\ /\     /\ /\           ~~~~     ~~~~
  174.      This cow belonged         This was Salvatore      No one was sure whether
  175.       to Pablo Picasso        Dali's favorite cow    M.C. Escher's cow had four
  176.                                                            legs or eight
  177.  
  178.                O__O                             \_|_/
  179.                (oo)                             (oo)
  180.         /-------\/                       /-------\/
  181.        / |     ||                       / |     ||
  182.       *  ||----||                      *  ||----||
  183.          ~~    ~~                         ~~    ~~
  184.     Cow at Disneyland         Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
  185.  
  186.                         (__)
  187.                 ~~      (oo)
  188.             ~~~~ /-------\/
  189.          ~~~~~  / |     ||
  190.        ~~~~~   *  ||----||
  191.     ~~~~~~~~  ====~~====~~====
  192. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~/
  193. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  194. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  195.      Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu
  196.  
  197.                )\               (__)
  198.               /  \              (oo)
  199.         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  200.            Cow swimming at Amityville
  201. (Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated)
  202.  
  203.           *
  204.            \
  205.             \
  206.             |\
  207.           \ | \ (__)
  208.           \\|| \(oo)
  209.            \||\ \\/
  210.             ~~ \||
  211.              \\ ||
  212.               \\||
  213.                \||
  214.                 ~~
  215.                  \\_
  216.                   \_
  217.    Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen
  218.  
  219.                                           (__)
  220.                                           (--)
  221.                                          /-\/-\
  222.                                         /|    |\
  223.                                        ~ |    | ~
  224.                (__)                      |    |
  225.                (DD)                      /----\
  226.         /-------\/                      /    \ \
  227.        / |     ||_\_/                  ~      * ~
  228.       *  ||----|               Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
  229.          ~~    ~                   (What a bod, huh guys?)
  230. Cow chugging brews and staring at
  231.   sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale
  232.  
  233.                        O O                 O O
  234.                         \ \               / /
  235.                          \ \          (__) /
  236.           (__)            \ \         (xx)/
  237.           (DD)             \ +--------+\//
  238.    /-------\/               \|        | /
  239.   / |     ||                 +--------+
  240.  *  ||----||
  241.     ~~    ~~
  242. Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull"
  243.             at Gillies in Texas
  244.  
  245.               \ (__)
  246.               \\(oo)
  247.          /-----\\\/
  248.         / |    (##)
  249.        *  ||----||"
  250.           ~~    ~~
  251.     This cow plays bagpipes.
  252.  
  253.          (__)                     (__)                     (__)
  254.          (\/)                     ($$)                     (**)
  255.   /-------\/               /-------\/               /-------\/
  256.  / | 666 ||               / |=====||               / |     ||
  257. *  ||----||              *  ||----||              *  ||----||
  258.    ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~                 ~~    ~~
  259.  
  260. Satanic cow           This cow is a Yuppie         Cow in love
  261.  
  262.          (__)                                              (__)
  263.          (oo)                                              (oo)
  264.   /-'''''-\/                            /-------------------\/
  265.  / |'''''||                            / |                 ||
  266. *  ||''''||                           *  ||----------------||
  267.    ~~    ~~                              ~~                ~~
  268.                                               Stretch Cow
  269.  Cow in Argyle                 *
  270.                             **   **
  271.                        * **  * * *  **
  272.                       *   /  /   \ *  *
  273.                    \  \ /  \        / /
  274.                 *  /  / \  \  (__)  \ \
  275.                   /           (00)  / /
  276.                   \    /-------\/   \ \
  277.                   /   / |     ||    / /
  278.                 \ \  *  ||----||    \ \
  279.                /  /     ~~    ~~    / /
  280.                        Cow in Heat
  281.  
  282.                                                  (__)
  283.                                         /--------(00)
  284.                                        / |      |(  )
  285.                                       *  ||---- ||()
  286.                                          ||     ||
  287.                                          ~~     ~~
  288.                                     Cow Chewing Marbles
  289.  
  290.          (___)
  291.          (o o)
  292.    /------\ /   (__)
  293.   /    ____O    (oo)
  294.  |   / /----\----\/                  "Where did that camera come from!"
  295.  /\oo===|  /    ||
  296. | ||   *||~-----||
  297. *  ~~   ~~      ~~
  298.  
  299.          (__)              \__\           (__)
  300.          (oo)          o   (oo)           (oo)
  301.   /-------\/        ____\___\/    *+-------\/
  302.  / |     ||        / |     ||     ||______||
  303. *  ||----||       *  ||----||       ||----||
  304.    OO    OO          OO    OO       OO    OO
  305. Detroit cow       Mustang cow      Pickup cow
  306.  
  307.                  (__)             \_||_~
  308.                  (oo)             (*||*)
  309.   /---------------\/       /-------\||/
  310.  / |             ||       / |     ||
  311. *  ||------------||      *  ||----||
  312.    OO            OO         OO    }{
  313.       Li-moo-cow         Teenager's cow
  314.  
  315.          ____
  316.         (____)
  317.  
  318.          (__)
  319.          (oo)
  320.   /-------\/
  321.  / |     ||
  322. *  ||----||
  323.    ~~    ~~
  324.    Holy cow
  325. ===============================================================================
  326.