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- * The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal -
- - a little bit of breast
- - a little bit of leg
- ..... and a lot of stuffing !!!
-
-
- * Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.
-
- * Forecast for Wedding...
- Expected development of Warm front, with extreme
- turbulence and moisture in lower regions.
- Good possibility of six inches overnight.
- Sun(son) is expected later on.
-
- * Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch instalments.
-
- * Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently
- and She'll last for many years.
-
- * If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.
-
- * Hope you honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass,
- One long hard route.
-
- * Don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days,
- or you will get a Weak End.
-
- * Take heed from those who know
- Tie you nightie to your toes
- Close your eyes - hold your nose
- Then see how it goes...
-
- * Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give
- his bone to the woman next door.
-
- * Treat him like a flower...
- grab him by the stalk.
-
- * We are curious to know why you both wanted to borrow the
- black leather boots and bull whip ?
-
- * Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes
- you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you
- Pregnant.
-
- * Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be
- an Off-Spring next Spring.
-
- * Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of
- Bride and Groom Mounted.
-
- * Congatulations - rots of ruck - sideways is great.
-
- * Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms
- in womans sink.
-
- * Don't buy you bed from Grace Brothers (Myers) they stand
- behind everthing they sell.
-
- * Hope all your Tries are not converted.
-
- * Remember Pearl Harbour... Have fun before the nips come.
-
- * A honeymoon should be like a table...
- Four bare legs and no drawers.
-
-
- "I was engaged myself once. To a contortionist. But she broke it off."
-
- * Go west young man, get up the Darling as far as you can.
-
- * And the story of the man who called his son Vendetta, because he
- always had it in for him...
-
-
- * "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you
- never get to prove it."
-
- * The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've
- found a woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do
- you want from me, sympathy?"
-
-
- * Your TV viewing on your wedding night will be...
- Firstly, The Marriage Game,
- Followed by, Great Temptation,
- The Untouchables,
- Mission Impossible,
- The Time is Right,
- Rawhide and Bonanza.
-
- * They were married on the cricket field, that night they were
- quite wicket, the bride said with a happy smile, I'm sure
- this can't be cricket.
-
- * A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you,
- so don't forget to chalk his cue and the first game you
- * Two passing ships making matrimonial knots while fouled
- in each others stern line, recommended inter between course
- 69 STOP
- Happy voyage, bottoms up.
-
- * Congratulations on finding a socket outlet for you plug
-
- * Advice to submariners - if torpedo overheats, load tube,
- go deep and eject.
-
- * May the Blue bird of happiness crap all over your wedding cake.
-
- * Confucious say wife for life is better than wife for strife.
-
- * Don't be too liberal at the country party or you'll wind up in
- Labor.
-
- * She offered her honour,
- He honoured he offer,
- and all night he was on her and off her.
-
- * Be sure to tie your nightie to your toes, 'cos you know
- where the wild goose goes.
-
- * Sorry I can't make your wedding, I'm half full under the table.
-