Club Amiga de Montreal - CAM/CAM_CD_1.iso/files/554b.lha/Yow/yowlines

Text File | 1991-09-10 | 7.6 KB | 150 lines

Zippy the pinhead data base.  The official copy of this is in the file
 "MLY;YOW >" on MC.MIT.EDU
Everything up to the first ascii \000 (`null') character is a comment.
The file consits of zippy quotations (from various comic books and
 strips by Bill Griffith) followed by a null character.
 Newline chracters following a quotation are ignored and are present
 only for readability.
Have FUN!
This file is currently used by:
 * the FORTUNE program on MIT-OZ
 * the m-x yow command in GNU Emacs.
 * NIL (MIT Common Lisp)'s debugger
 * something bandy wrote at LLL-CRG.
|
- if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!|
--"I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.  We're going away now.
I fed the cat. - Zippy"|
--- I have seen the FUN ---|
.. my NOSE is NUMB!|
.. My pants just went on a wild rampage through a Long Island Bowling Alley!!|
...bleakness....desolation....plastic forks...|
...he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.|
...I see TOILET SEATS...|
...I want a COLOR T.V. and a VIBRATING BED!!!|
...I want FORTY-TWO TRYNEL FLOATATION SYSTEMS installed within
SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!!|
...I'm IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM
of a KOSHER DELI --|
...ich bin in einem dusenjet ins jahr 53 vor chr...ich lande im antiken Rom...
  einige gladiatoren spielen scrabble...ich rieche PIZZA...|
...Like I always say -- nothing can beat the BRATWURST here in DUSSELDORF!!|
...My vaseline is RUNNING...|
...or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last Tuesday?|
...someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN|
...the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!|
..are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?|
..does your DRESSING ROOM have enough ASPARAGUS?|
..here I am in 53 B.C. and all I want is a dill pickle!!|
..I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q. LEVELS
with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE!|
..I have a VISION!  It's a RANCID double-FISHWICH on an ENRICHED BUN!!|
..I think I'd better go back to my DESK and toy with
a few common MISAPPREHENSIONS...|
..I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!|
..If I had heart failure right now, I couldn't be a more fortunate man!!|
..over in west Philadelphia a puppy is vomiting..|
..the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA
is a barbequeued OYSTER!  Yum!|
..this must be what it's like to be a COLLEGE GRADUATE!!|
A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!|
A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!|
A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with
LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight??|
Actually, what I'd like is a little toy spaceship!!|
All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled
by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS...|
All of life is a blur of Republicans and meat!|
All right, you degenerates!  I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!|
All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!|
Am I accompanied by a PARENT or GUARDIAN?|
Am I elected yet?|
America!! I saw it all!! Vomiting! Waving! JERRY FALWELLING into your
void tube of UHF oblivion!! SAFEWAY of the mind --|
An INK-LING?  Sure -- TAKE one!! Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??|
An Italian is COMBING his hair in suburban DES MOINES!|
And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!|
ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like
RICARDO MONTALBAN'S HAIR!|
Are we live or on tape?|
Are we THERE yet?|
Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!|
Are you mentally here at Pizza Hut??|
Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS??  If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!!|
Are you still an ALCOHOLIC?|
As President I have to go vacuum my coin collection!|
Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?|
Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away!
But Ken says, WOO-WOO!!  No credit at "Mr. Liquor"!!|
Being a BALD HERO is almost as FESTIVE as a TATTOOED KNOCKWURST.|
BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot..|
BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-BI-|
Bo Derek ruined my life!|
Boy, am I glad it's only 1971...|
Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!!|
But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?|
Can you MAIL a BEAN CAKE?|
Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!|
CHUBBY CHECKER just had a CHICKEN SANDWICH in downtown DULUTH!|
Civilization is fun!  Anyway, it keeps me busy!!|
Clear the laundromat!!  This whirl-o-matic just had a nuclear meltdown!!|
Concentrate on th'cute, li'l CARTOON GUYS!  Remember the SERIAL NUMBERS!!  Follow
the WHIPPLE AVE. EXIT!!  Have a FREE PEPSI!! Turn LEFT at th'HOLIDAY INN!!  JOIN
the CREDIT WORLD!!  MAKE me an OFFER!!!|
CONGRATULATIONS!  Now should I make thinly veiled comments about DIGNITY,
self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??|
Could I have a drug overdose?|
Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations
in a MALIBU HOT TUB?|
Did I do an INCORRECT THING??|
Did I say I was a sardine?  Or a bus???|
Did I SELL OUT yet??|
Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?|
DIDI...is that a MARTIAN name, or, are we in ISRAEL?|
Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?|
Disco oil bussing will create a throbbing naugahide pipeline running
straight to the tropics from the rug producing regions
and devalue the dollar!|
Do I have a lifestyle yet?|
Do you guys know we just passed thru a BLACK HOLE in space?|
Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??|
Do you think the "Monkees" should get gas on odd or even days?|
DON'T go!! I'm not HOWARD COSELL!! I know POLISH JOKES...WAIT!! Don't
go!! I AM Howard Cosell! ...And I DON'T know Polish jokes!!|
Don't hit me!!  I'm in the Twilight Zone!!!|
Don't SANFORIZE me!!|
Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!|
Eisenhower!!  Your mimeograph machine upsets my stomach!!|
Everybody gets free BORSCHT!|
Everybody is going somewhere!! It's probably a garage sale
or a disaster Movie!!|
FEELINGS are cascading over me!!!|
Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
gothic solarium!!|
FROZEN ENTREES may be flung by members of opposing SWANSON SECTS..|
FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!!|
Gee, I feel kind of LIGHT in the head now, knowing I can't make
my satellite dish PAYMENTS!|
Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU - - -|
Give them RADAR-GUIDED SKEE-BALL LANES and VELVEETA BURRITOS!!|
Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!!|
Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!|
Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard--I'm living for today!|
Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??
...Now, it's time to "HAVE A NAGEELA"!!|
He is the MELBA-BEING...the ANGEL CAKE...XEROX him...XEROX him --|
HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!|
HELLO, everybody, I'm a HUMAN!!|
Hello, GORRY-O!!  I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!!|
Hello.  I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic Alaskan females!!|
Hello...  IRON CURTAIN?  Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA!
World War III?  No thanks!|
Hello? Enema Bondage? I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..|
Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying my urine sample bottles..|
Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN
anywhere!!|
Here we are in America...when do we collect unemployment?|
Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!!  ..you're not Clint Eastwood!!|
Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some drunken
CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI'S!!|
Hmmm... a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encount