The California Collection/TheCaliforniaCollection.cdr/his125/noahss.lzh/NOAHSS.TXT

Text File | 1991-07-09 | 5.0 KB | 204 lines

PER:Noah's Sunday School  by Doug Huffman

Noah had a Sunday School,
but it was very small,
Nothing like the SUPER ones,
he just had eight in all.

Yet he kept right on preaching,
warning men of sin,
"Except ye be converted,
ye cannot enter in!"

"There's a flood coming, boys,
this I know right well.
And unless you all repent,
it'll wash you down to hell.

God told me to build this ark
and all who come inside
Will be kept safe from harm
as upon the waves we ride."

But all the people who came his way
Laughed each time they heard
old Noah as he built his boat
And preached to them God's Word.

"To think that God would punish us,
He must not know how we rate.
Why, we have the largest
Sunday School in this entire state!"

Each year the churches held seminars
on "HOW" and "WHO'S WHO",
The ways to be the biggest
and how to fill up every pew.

We've got to come up with something
that's sensational and new,
to keep the people coming,
for the "old way" will never do!

We've all tried it once before,
the "old way" doesn't work!
"Old Noah is living proof of that!",
someone said with a smirk.

"By the way, how's he doing?
Has someone heard of late?"
"It's still the same as last year,
he only has his eight!"

"Well, let's forget about old Noah now,
we've got much work to do.
We've got to come up with a plan
to fill up every pew.

Let's get right down to business,
your suggestions now we'll hear.
Does anyone have something
new since we met last year?"

Suggestions came pouring in
from the front back to the rear.
For each and every new thing
the applause was loud and clear.

"A little rock and a little roll
we gave the gospel sound.
Why we've had 'em pouring in
from many miles around!"

"Vegas stars and night club acts
is what caused us to grow.
Next year we hope to have someone
from the Champagne show."

"We have Circus Sunday
with Bozo the Clown.
We have the largest Sunday School
now in our home town!"

"We hid some gold dust 'neath one saddle
in our camel fleet.
The whole caravan was filled,
as they tried to find the lucky seat!"

"We've got the nicest building,
And the most modern swimming pool.
I think that's what helped us most
to become the largest Sunday School."

"Bubble gum and politicians
and marshmallows on a stick,
Eating chicken on the roof,
now that's a fancy trick!

To riding a donkey round the church,
or an elephant down the aisle,
to shaking of the monkey's hand
which caused the kids to smile."

Yet Noah kept right on working,
preaching as he went,
"There's sure a flood that's coming,
you'd better all repent!

All your modern methods
will be of no avail,
As its waters of judgment rise
and sweep you down to hell!"

Then finally all the leaders met.
They said, "We've had enough!
Now he's preaching against the movies,
the way we dress and dipping snuff!"

"How many has he got in Sunday School?",
someone asked with hate.
"Why he's not gained one member.
He still has only eight!"

But the ark was now completed
and the animals gathered in.
The time had come for God to judge
the people for their sin.

Counting Noah and his family,
there were eight and no more,
as God called them into the ark,
and then He closed the door!

A messenger came running through the land
to spread the good news.
The church leaders all leaped for joy,
and began to jump the pews.

"We didn't have to do a thing,
God knew just what to do.
Old Noah will be so ashamed
when his prophecy doesn't come true!"

Then a feast was started by the folk
throughout all the land,
Laughing, drinking, and dancing
to the gospel rock band.

"Old Noah should have joined us,
he was such a fool.
He ended up with only eight
in his Sunday School!"

Suddenly a clap of thunder sounded
as the rain began to fall!
The party had just gotten started
in the fellowship hall.

No one seemed to notice
as the waters began to rise.
After all, what Noah had said
was but a pack of lies!

But the rain fell in torrents
like from a bucket when it's poured.
The band played much louder
to calm the wicked horde.

Under the doors the water came
as it rose by leaps and bounds.
To keep the people from panic,
they called in Bozo the Clown.

And though they tried to pacify,
it was to no avail.
"TOO LATE! TOO LATE! TOO LATE!"
came the bitter wail!

Fifteen cubits upward
the flood waters did prevail,
Sweeping everyone of them
down to a sinner's hell!

But safe and secure inside the ark
were Noah and his own,
While all the rest were washed away
to reap what they had sown.

He would never hear the taunting
of their bitter hate.
His church was now the only one
though he just had eight!

Well, the waters slowly abated,
and the ark finally sat
Upon a great high mountain
called Mt. Ararat.

As everyone came marching out,
they had good news to herald,
NOAH HAS THE LARGEST SUNDAY SCHOOL
NOW IN ALL THE WORLD!

Doug Huffman.