The California Collection/TheCaliforniaCollection.cdr/his100/workmom.arj/WORKMOM.TXT

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                  THE WOES OF THE WORKING MOTHER
                      by Randall @Hillebrand

            "Few would debate the almost mystical
            significance of the mother-infant
            bond.  Research from many fields,
            including psychiatry, child psy-
            chology, and studies of other animal
            species, has confirmed our intuitive
            respect of the mother-infant bond.
            Studies have indicated that the
            first two years of a baby's life
            are when that bond forms."
                                      (White 27)


     Does  the  mother's  staying  home  with the child(ren) versus
having a full-time job help,  hurt or have a neutral effect on  the
family?  This  is  the  question  that  will  be  addressed  in the
following pages.  First though,  a brief history of why women  went
into the job force will be discussed as background to this paper.


Why Women Entered The Work Force

    During  World War II,  the men went overseas to fight,  and the
women were called upon to work in the  factories  to  keep  America
going.  Many  mothers  left  the  home to come to the call of their
country to serve.  These mothers were applauded by our culture  and
became  the symbol of patriotism of the highest order.  During this
time the government set up child care programs with  federal  funds
and  many  companies set up stores and hair-cutting salons right in
the industrial plants for the women's  convenience.  But  then  the
war ended.  After the war was over,  the government and the private
sector banded together in an enormous propaganda  campaign  to  get
women  to leave the work place and return to the home.  The mother-
child relationship and the support of the husband  and  his  career
were stressed (@Levine 65).  Up until World War II, few women worked
outside of the home, the great majority of those being single.  The
big boom of women (including married women) joining the labor force
was after World War II,  starting in 1947.  "Between 1947 and 1978,
married  women's   rate   increased   from   20   percent   to   48
percent."(Smith  4).  (Note:  these  percentages  are  of the total
amount of women joining the work force).
     As previously stated,  the initial reason for mothers  joining
the  labor  force  was  due  to  the  war  effort,  which  was very
commendable.  This was a time in history when people needed to pull
together and do their part.  But then after the war,  for  whatever
the reason, the government and the private sector had a campaign to
bring  women,  in  general,  back to the home.  The majority of the
women rebelled at this as can  be  seen  by  the  union  grievances
filed.  One  study  showed  that  75 percent of the women wanted to
continue working (Levine 66).  Why was  this  the  case?  Two  main
reasons  are  usually given.  First is that of economics.  As Smith
says in his book, The Subtle Revolution,  economists feel "that the
perceived   benefits   of  being  in  the  labor  force  have  been
increasing, the benefits of not participating have been decreasing,
or  both."(Smith  3-4).   Therefore,  "the  'opportunity  cost'  of
staying  at  home  all  day  has become too great for an increasing
proportion of women." So a choice needs to be made,  "unpaid" labor
in  the  home  versus  paid  labor outside (Smith 3-4).  The second
reason given for women going into  the  labor  force  is  given  by
Barbara  @Deckard  when  she  said  that  women  are  "trapped  in a
situation that provides little opportunity for intellectual  growth
or  the  satisfactions  of achievement." (@Finsterbush/@McKenna 127).
By this she was saying that a woman cannot find these things if she
is a housewife who has to watch after children,  so she leaves  the
home to find that fulfillment.  This second reason is probably more
of a recent thing (late 60's,  early 70's till present),  but could
have its roots in the post World War II era.
     World War II was a special time in history that called for the
mothers of this nation to give a helping hand,  but in the  postwar
times,  the  mother  was called back to a much more important task,
that of raising our nation's children.  But the questions that need
to be asked are:  (1) are economics really a reason for mothers  to
work  outside  of  the  home,   and  (2)  can  a  mother  not  find
intellectual growth or  satisfaction  of  achievement  by  being  a
homemaker?  We will see.

ECONOMICS AND PERSONAL GROWTH

        "Working women are stung and enraged by the
         guilt-provoking suggestion that their
         careers are more important to them than
         their children; that if they loved their
         babies more they'd be willing to put their
         work aside.  And full-time mothers are angered
         and shaken by the low esteem with which many
         career women regard them."  (Levine 64)

     On  the  economical  side of things,  a comparison needs to be
made between the homemaker and working-wife families.  If  the  two
families have the same amount of income per month,  the homemaker's
family total income will be higher than the  working-wife's  family
income.  This  is  due  to the fact that the working-wife spends at
least 15 percent of her paycheck,  excluding  income  tax,  on  her
work-related  expenses.  This  15  percent  is mainly spread across
such things as transportation,  social security and clothing (Smith
161).  Not  only does this 15 percent not cover income tax,  but it
also does not cover child care,  which can run  between  $40.00  to
$120.00  or more per child per week.  If we take it a step further,
her income should also be reduced according to the amount  of  time
that is taken away from the domestic duties that the wife no longer
has time to do, which are either sent out for someone else to do or
are  not  done  at  all.  It  has  also  been  shown  that  in  the
homemaker's family they  spend  as  much  as  50  percent  less  on
clothing,  transportation,  recreation, and retirement over that of
the  working-wife's  family;  and  their  basic  food  and  shelter
expenditures  are  also  slightly lower.  So there is at least a 30
percent  difference  in  income  between  the  two  families,   the
homemaker's  family having the higher savings (Smith 161).  In many
cases,  the mother is going back to work so that  the  family  will
have  more  income  for  specific bills,  for future purchases,  or
usually just for a better standard of living.  But is it worth  it?
We will be looking at that a little later.
     The  other  reason  that  mothers  have  left  the home is for
personal growth and fulfillment.  They feel,  according to  Barbara
Deckard,  that they have little opportunity for intellectual growth
or the satisfaction of achievement  as  stated  earlier.  Her  view
says,  "Why  should  I  be  tied down to my family?  What if I have
dreams or plans for doing something more with my  life?  Don't  you
know  that  childbearing  is  another  link  in  the chain of men's
oppression over women?  If I am with my children too much,  I could
damage them and scar them for life.  Housework is no fun,  it's not
creative nor interesting,  it's boring  and  never-ending,  so  why
should  I stay home doing these kinds of things,  and those diapers
!!?" Well,  she has a point,  they can be boring and  tedious,  but
Phyllis   @Schlafly's   rebuttal  to  this  is  that  "Marriage  and
motherhood,  of course,  have their trials  and  tribulations.  But
what lifestyle doesn't?  If you look upon your home as a cage,  you
will find yourself just as imprisoned in an office  or  a  factory.
The  flight  from  the  home  is  a  flight  from  yourself,   from
responsibility, from the nature of woman, in pursuit of false hopes
and fading illusions."  (Finsterbush/McKenna  115,120,124,125,127).
Why  can't  a woman feel fulfilled as a mother?  She can!  Then why
do these other women say that they are not  fulfilled  unless  they
are  out  of  the  home and in the labor force?  Good question.  It
could be for a number of reasons.  Maybe at  home  the  husband  or
children or both do not appreciate the mother as much as she needs,
so  she  looks elsewhere for it.  But if this is the case,  she had
better beware,  because she may end up working somewhere where they
don't treat her any better, maybe even worse.  Possibly she has low
self-esteem and just does not feel important.  If this is the case,
as in the first example,  she needs to sit down with her family and
work it out,  instead of trying  to  find  relief  somewhere  else.
Maybe   she  just  wants  a  change  of  pace.   This  too  can  be
accomplished through part-time volunteer  work,  a  home  business,
etc.  What am I trying to say?  That if she has unmet needs at home
that are driving her to look for a job through which she thinks she
will find fulfillment, she is barking up the wrong tree.  She needs
to  get  those  needs met at home through her husband and children.
Phyllis Schlafly makes this point in a more specific  example  when
she says,  "If you complain about servitude to a husband, servitude
to a boss will be more intolerable."(Finsterbush/Mckenna 120).  She
goes on to say that "Everyone in the world has a boss of some kind.
It is easier  for  most  women  to  achieve  a  harmonious  working
relationship  with  a husband than with a foreman,  supervisor,  or
office manager."(Finsterbush/McKenna 120).  If the base problem  is
not  dealt with,  the problem will reoccur somewhere else.  But can
the home  provide  opportunity  for  intellectual  growth  and  the
satisfaction of achievement?  Yes,  if you truly desire it.  It may
take a little work,  but  it  can  be  achieved.  Also,  raising  a
healthy, productive and happy family that adds to society is one of
the greatest achievements a woman can obtain.

     Then  what  about  the  effects  of  a  working  mother on the
children and family as a whole?


THE EFFECTS OF A WORKING MOTHER

        "The past twenty years have brought dramatic
         changes in the typical American family.
         During this period the overall female
         employment rate rose by more than 50 percent
         (for married women with children living with
         their spouses, the rate doubled).  Birth
         rates dropped by 40 percent, and divorce
         rates doubled."
                                  (Kamerman/Hayes 93)

     Not only was there an increase in divorce,  but there was also
an increase in adultery as shown in the graph below.


*PICTURE*


     No  wonder that we see the divorce rate double in the working-
wife families,  when there is an approximate increase of 16 percent
in  women  having affairs in this group over the homemaker families
(Norris/Miller 254).  This not only affects the home of the working
mother, but that of the homemaker whose husband participated in the
affair with  her.  It  can  and  usually  does  have  long-reaching
negative effects.  It's not a pretty picture!

     What  about  the  children of the working mother?  If they are
not taken care of by relatives of the family, more than likely they
go to a day care.  Day care centers can have a ratio of  adults  to
infants and toddlers anywhere from one to two in the better places,
or as many as ten or more infants to each staff member.  The common
ratio is about four to one.  One of the problems that arise is that
the day care industry is not a healthy one. "The work is difficult,
and  in  most  cases  the pay is very low,  and the training of the
providers leaves much to  be  desired."(White  28).  What  is  most
likely,  is  that the child in the first two or three years will be
exposed to numerous primary caretakers.  Also infectious  diseases,
especially   those   involving   hearing  ability  and  middle  ear
infections are three to four times as prevalent than  in  the  home
(White  28).  Some would say that it is good for the child to be in
an  environment  like  that  because   an   "increased   sense   of
independence,   well-being,  and  greater  appreciation  for  their
parents have been found  to  be  the  attributes  of  many  of  the
offspring   of  two-career  marriages."  (Swann-Rogak  6).   But  I
disagree.  During these first years a  very  important  process  is
taking  place  in  the  child's  life,  that of socialization.  For
children this is called primary socialization in  which  the  child
develops  language,  individual  identity,  the  learning  of self-
control  and  cognitive  skills.   Also,   the  child  learns   the
internalization   of   moral   standards,   appropriate  attitudes,
motivations and a basic understanding  of  social  roles  (Hagedorn
87).  During  the  most important time in a child's life,  when the
foundation of his personality,  morals and attitudes are laid  that
he will build off of for the rest of his life,  we cannot just give
him to a complete stranger to mold.  These are the years  that  can
either  make  or  break the child for the rest of his life.  Can we
leave this up to someone else, even a relative?
     What about the working mother and the family  in  general.  As
seen  above,  adultery  and divorces have risen due to women in the
work force, but what about other problems.  As I page through books
for the working mother I see chapter titles like these: "Succeeding
with  Your  Children,"  "Getting  Organized  on  the  Home  Front,"
"Feeding  the  Family," "New ways to Be Together," "Having a Baby,"
"Keeping Your Marriage  Strong"  (Norris/Miller  v);  "How  Do  You
Manage  It  All,"  "I  Can't Keep Up with It All," "This House Is a
Mess," "Where Has  Our  Togetherness  Gone?,"  "What  if  Something
Happens When I'm Not There?," "I'm Tired All The Time," "Where Does
All My Money Go?," "I Feel So Guilty" (Skelsey); etc., etc., etc.!!
As  can  be seen from the titles,  it is not easy on the family for
the mother to go to work.  Many adjustments must be made,  and even
then  it cannot be done successfully.  The only real superwomen are
in the comics,  not in real life.  This  is  the  feeling  of  many
professional  women and can be seen in the book Mothers Who Work by
Jeanne Bodin and Bonnie Mitelman  on  pages  52  through  58.  Many
trade-offs  had  to  be  made.  Is  it  worth  it?  From all of the
negative effects on the children and family that have been shown in
this paper, it is very easy to see that it is not.  But of course I
cannot make that decision for you.  You need to decide!!


BIBLIOGRAPHY

Bodin, Jeanne and Bonnie Mitelman.  Mothers Who Work.  New
     York: Ballantine, 1983.

Finsterbusch, Kurt and George McKenna, eds.  Taking Sides.
     Guilford: The Dushkin Publishing Group, Inc., l984.

Hagedorn, Robert, et al., eds.  Sociology.  Dubuque: Wm. C.
     Brown Company Publishers, l983.

Kamerman, Sheila B. and Cheryl D. Hayes, eds.  Families
     That Work: Children in a Changing World.  Washington
     D.C.: National Academy Press, l982.

Levine, Karen.  "Mother vs. Mother."  Parents (June, l985):
     63-67.

Norris, Gloria and Jo Ann Miller.  The Working Mother's
     Complete Handbook.  New York: Plume, l984.

Skelsey, Alice.  The Working Mother's Guide to Her Home,
     Her Family and Herself.  New York: Random House, l970.

Smith, Ralph E., ed.  The Subtle Revolution, Women at Work.
     Washington, D.C.: The Urban Institute, l979.

Swann-Rogak, Lisa.  "Careers."  Baby Talk (April, l985): 6.

White, Burton L.  "Should You Stay Home With Your Baby?"
     American Baby (October, l985): 27-28, 30.

From the S.O.N. BBS, WI

fe families,  when there is an approximate increase of 16 percent
in  women  having affairs in thi