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- 7 Ways to Avoid God.
- --------------------
-
- . I think of myself as an average person. I don't hate God. As
- far as I know He has done me no harm. But I do find it difficult to
- avoid God.
-
- . I am not an atheist. I am an agnostic. If there is a God I
- don't want to know Him. I prefer to live my own life. The last thing
- I want is for God to get in my way. So I have set out a personal
- seven-point plan to avoid Him. With Bibles on display in bookstores,
- and churches on almost every street corner, my task has not been easy.
-
- But here is my procedure:
-
- STEP ONE: I sleep Sunday mornings.
-
- . I personally don't find "sleeping in" that easy. I have the bad
- habit of waking early, even on Sunday. But I have solved the problem.
- I told my doctor I was having a difficult time sleeping and he gave me
- some pills. About midnight on Saturday I swallow two pills and am
- good until eleven o'clock Sunday morning, which conveniently is too
- late to go to church.
-
- STEP TWO: As a traveling man I keep hotel and motel dresser drawers
- closed.
-
- . In many hotels and motels today a Bible will jump out at you if
- you open a drawer. I enter my room, hang up my suitbag and leave my
- other things in my open suitcase. I carry an off-color paperback with
- me so if there is nothing to do in town at least I can read myself to
- sleep. By the way, I don't accept literature from strangers. When
- offered literature I politely tell people I am too busy to read it.
-
- STEP THREE: I carefully choose my radio stations.
-
- . Many cities carry twenty-four-hour religious stations. Some of
- their music is good but you must be wary because they may be
- skillfully concealing a sharp hook. Right while enjoying a fine
- recording, some preacher breaks in to tell you that you are a sinner
- and need God. I am on to their tricks, so now I dial a station that
- is really rocking and rolling and feel reasonably safe.
-
- STEP FOUR: I avoid Christian businessmen.
-
- . In fact, I am a church member. I seldom attend, but my
- membership has given me many good business contacts. But one must be
- careful. I have discovered a fanatical brand of businessmen who would
- rather talk to you about God then about gold. I don't question their
- sincerity, but it takes money to feed a family, and that is my first
- concern. When a Christian businessman invites me to church or for
- Bible study, I usually back cut with, "I have a splitting headache"
- (that sounds better than a hangover) "and just can't make it tonight."
-
- STEP FIVE: I create my own gods.
-
- . I have a list of things I would like to do but never have time to
- get done. So Sunday I play around with the most attractive items on
- my list. I have come to feel that that is what Sunday is for. Every
- person should have a hobby and I use Sundays to spend time on my
- hobbies and to do my thing.
-
- STEP SIX: I see to it that I am "master of my fate."
-
- . It is my privilege to choose to believe in God or to choose not
- to believe. I accept the old Roman idea that death ends everything.
- This makes the whole business of escaping God a lot easier. It allows
- one to sing with the freedom of a bird, "Eat, drink, and be merry for
- tomorrow we die."
-
- STEP SEVEN: I can always kill myself.
-
- . This I call my desperate step. I don't really advocate it and
- frankly, I am chicken. But I know it happens many times a day. Self-
- destruction is a way of escape. However, it leaves me a little cold.
- Questions pop into my mind. Is it a copout from life? Is it really
- escape? Does one avoid God in this way or is death the solemn usher
- that leads me into the presence of God?
-
- . Now that I have answered questions on what I can do to avoid God
- I find myself faced with an even greater question. If there is a
- Supreme Being who loves me, why should I try to avoid Him? Is my
- attempt to hide from God inconceivable conceit? Would I not be wiser
- and happier to accept His love? Is it not the fool who says in his
- heart "There is no God?" Why run from God? His invitation is pretty
- inviting for a man who is tired of running: "Come unto me, all ye
- that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew
- 11:28)
-
- . After running for so long I gave God my worries and accepted His
- rest. I found it so easy. I just said, "Jesus, You please take my
- sin and I will take Your salvation." God and I made the trade and I
- am no longer running, I am resting in His salvation. I have thrown my
- list away. If you will do what I did, you won't need your list
- either. "And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the
- name of the Lord shall be saved" (Acts 2:21).
-
- Written by: Dick Hillis
-
- Computers for Christ - Chicago
-
-