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DEV:Meditation with the sacraments in mind  by Jerry Doblie

A SHORT COURSE IN CHRISTIAN MEDITATION WITH REFERENCE TO THE SACRAMENTS

   BY

   JERRY DOBLIE (copyright)

   The influence of the Scientific model.

   As we begin our discussions on prayer it is important to understand
the role which the Scriptures play. Since the age of enlightenment the
method which the church has used to approach the study of scripture
have been those which have centered on the transformation of the
intellect. Over the past few hundred years this has resulted in a rift
between the spiritual nature of man and his intellect. The philosophies
of Bacon and Descarte originally concerned itself with answering
questions of how man can know with certanity the nature of the world in
which he exists. Modern man over the last few hundred years has
transformed these philospohies of knowledge into a methodology which is
directed towards the control of one's life and environment and world.
The objective of this endeavor has been to arrive at a type of
empirical knowledge about the world, knowledge which would be as true
for you as it is for me, thus providing a framework in which rules
could be derived for the manipulation and control of one's world.

   Because this approach to man's experience of the world has so
permeated our thought process our understand of scriptures tend to be
objectified taking on a sense of abstractness. In short, since one's
knowledge of the scriptures cannot be utilized to control one's
environment their value is depreciated. From a strictly utilitarian
point of view one's effort should be directed towards that which brings
emperical results. Books such as "The Quest for the Historical Jesus" ,
"The Evidence which Demands a Verdict" and others are indicative of
this yearning for an emperical validation of the scriptures. Books of
this nature tend towards an attempt to justify a non- functioning type
of christianity in which one believes in the scriptures because of the
cultural and religious mileau in which one lives instead of first hand
experience of the christian reality.

   The results of man's application of this way of knowing has resulted
in changes to the manner in which the church has approached the study
of the scripture. Taking place over a prolonged period of time this
deep need for the validation of one's theological perspective has
transformed the type of theological data which is considered relevant
to one's spiritual growth. The appropriation of scriptures in one
personal life, the ability to reconcile one's intellect,spirit, and
emotional life has given way to the the need for an intellectual
validation of one's faith. For example in the journey's of St. Paul the
historical and cultural facts are analyzed in terms of historical
critical methods in the hope of gaining insights which would assist in
validating one's theological perspective.

   In our study of Prayer it is important to understand that the true
needs of the modern christian are not so much concerned with his desire
to validate his control of the world as it is with the reconciliation
of the tension which exists in his need for a controllable universe and
the spiritual reality that God alone is in control of his existence.
This presents a distinct and separate problem from the ostensable
concern of the modern christian to validate one's faith through such
book's as we mentioned earlier.

   Christianity is, however, at its heart, a religion of the heart.
Since our concern is with the heart, as such it becomes extremely
difficult to communicate in a concrete and understandable fashion. A
major portion of our discussions will center on our perceptions and the
thought process involved which relate to God, the world, other people
and ourselves. Since the reconciliation of the soul is process which is
invisible to man it is impossible to describe it in a manner which is
easily understood. One cannot point to a feeling as one would point to
a tree and say this is what it is. One cannot poke one's finger into
another's soul and point to what is being described. Even if it were
possible to point to that part of the soul, the psychological nature of
the human such as it is would tend towards the denial of the truth
which to which one pointed.

   In view of these concerns it is inappropriate to only use those
gifts and insights which God gave man during the age of enlightenment,
gifts designed and tailored to solve problems of the intellect to solve
problems of the spirit.

   It would be akin to one using a screwdriver to pound a nail into a
board. The task to which the tool is addressed does not match the
problem which is at hand.

   Instead, we shall approach scriptures using a fourfold approach, a
method which has been tailor made for the transformation of the soul.
First set forth by St. Ambrose in the third century A.D. this approach
sets forth four distinct levels of insight into scripture. Each level
being dependent upon the others. The first three relate to man's
activities, the fourth addresses God's activity.

   Let us now turn our attention to the first of these methods that
being our literal understanding of the scriptures. It is important in
our understanding of the scripture to recognize their inspiration by
God. In this vein just as God acts in the twentieth century within the
context of our lives so also did he act in the first century within the
context of the live of the saints. We cannot separate the meaning of
the scriptures in the first century from the cultural and social milieu
in which the activities of God are found. Critical methods which have
been developed in the twentieth century can help to analyze the
cultural and textual issues, and, can be very helpful in understanding
the literal meaning of the text.

   The second level of insight concerns itself with the moral issues
involved with scriptures. Here as in the former it is necessary to
understand the historical context in which the activities of God are
recorded. But, in addition to the historical, it is necessary to
address the question of lifestyles implicated in the scriptures. A firm
understanding of the human predicament from a historical perspective is
required. More importantly it is necessary to form a clear
understanding of the psychological and motivational factors influencing
the lifestyles of individuals living in these historical times. In
trying to understand the question of morality it is necesssary to delve
into the emotions of scriptural characters as well as trying to
understand one's own attitueds and feelings.

   At last in our discussion we come to the use of Scripture in its
allegorical sense. This is nothing revolutionary or new it is in fact
the way in which scripture has been dealt with throughout most of the
history of Christianity. Up until the time of Napoleon's trek into
Egypt there were no major archaeological digs, or text critical methods
for assessing the accuracy of scriptural translations, no form critical
methods which one might have used for example to compare the writings
of the early gnostics to those of the desert fathers.

   Allegories have been used in the scriptures themselves to aid in the
teaching of spiritual truths. The most profound being Nathan's rebuke
of David in 2nd Samuel 12 in which the allegory is drawn between the
rich shepherd and the poor shepherd to disguise Nathen's true motives
to bringing David's sin into the open, and, by so doing, to destroy its
power.

   Allegories were also used by Our Lord in Matthew 13:10 here he
directly address his use of the allegory. Here he quotes Isaiah 1)
saying "You will listen and listen again, but not understand, see and
see again, but not perceive. For the heart of this nation has grown
coarse, their ears are full of hearing, and they have shut their eyes,
for fear they should see with their eyes, hear with their ears,
understand with their heart, and be converted and healed by me." Indeed
here also as with Nathen the intent of Israel was to stick its head in
the sand like an ostrich and deny their own sin. In this passage it is
not God who is judging man but it is man who chooses to shut his eyes,
allowing sin to separate him from his both his creator and himself.

   Because of the psychology involved, the tendency towards denial; and
the inability to touch taste or point objectively to ones spiritual
activities it is necessary to deal in terms of allegory and metaphor.
This activity although symbolic in nature and appearing at first glance
to be in the realm of philosophical rhetoric is none the less real, at
least it is in my experience. So, then,because of man's tendency to
deny his own nature and our inability to to point concretely to the
spiritual it becomes necessary to use allegorical, and metaphorical
symbols to point the way toward our renewed friendship with God.

   There is one last area which needs to be addressed in our
preliminary study of the Word as we learn how to pray, that is we must
come to understand that through out this movement from the literal, to
the moral, to the allegorical God is active in the internalization of
the scriptures. This internalization of the scriptures and the oneness
in Christ is at the sole discretion of God. It is here that our work
ends and the work of God becomes manifest. We can do no more than to
give back to God the literal, moral, and allegorical wisdom which we
have managed to scratch out of the scriptures and patiently await his
response.

   The Allegory of the Temple

   It was Paul in his letter to the Church at Corinth who made the
statement. He was the one who said "didn't you realize that you were
God's temple and the spirit of God was living among you." 2) But he was
only echoing the sensitivity which Christ had to this analogy when in
the gospel of John the following conversation took place:

   '"Destroy this sanctuary and in three days I will raise it up". the
Jews replied, "It has taken us forty-six years to build this sanctuary:
are you going to raise it up in three days?" but he was speaking of the
sanctuary that way in his body, and when Jesus rose from the dead, his
disciples remembered that he had said this, and they believed the
scripture and words he had said."' 3) Patterned after the tabernacle
which Moses built in the desert the temple reflected the jewish view of
the universe.

   Josephus Flavius the jewish historian in his book titled "The
Antiquities of the Jews" says of the tabernacle "Now one may wonder at
the ill will which men bear to us, and which they profess to bear on
account of our despising that Deity which they pretend to honor; for if
any one but consider the fabric of the tabernacle, and take a view of
the garments of the high priest, and of those vessels which we make use
of in our sacred ministration,he will find they were everyone made in
way of imitation and representation of the universe." 4) But what can
be gleaned from this analogy? To say that man is like a building is to
say that he has walls and rooms. Yet this is precisely what St. Teresa
of Avila indicates in her writing the "the Interior Castle".

   Drawing an analogy between that of a castle and one's spiritual life.

   The tabernacle consists of three major areas the outer court, the
Holy Place and the Most Holy place. Access to each of these areas was
restricted. Only those who were practicing jew are allowed in the
temple area, gentiles were not permitted to enter the outer court. The
Holy Place was restricted to the Priests. No one was allowed to enter
this area of the temple unless he was performing one of the sacred
rituals. Finally no one except the high priest was allowed in the Most
Holy and even his access to this area of the tabernacle was limited to
special holy days.

   In many ways this structure is indicative of human nature.

   There corresponding to the outer court is that part of the human
personality which is open to ones friends and acquaintances. In this
area of the human soul the influences of the world are felt and their
impact recorded.

   John of the Cross likes this to the vision which Ezekiel 5) had of
the temple and the abominations practiced there.

   "The many reptiles and unclean animals painted on the walls of the
first room of the temple represent intellectual thoughts abject earthly
things and of all creatures. These creatures are painted just as they
are in the temple of the soul if it allows the intellect,the first
chamber, to be encumbered with them." 6) It is in this part of the soul
that the problems arising from one's dysfunctional heritage is
deposited. Here in fifteen hundred years after Christ, lacking the
modern technology of tape recorders, the repository of ones dysfunction
was the considered to be the grafitti on the temple walls.

   Book I chapter 9:6

   It is here where our passions and appetites reside. Not so much our
physical appetites and passions but those which are of a more spiritual
nature again John of The Cross describes these "...the appetites weary,
torment, darken, defile, and weaken (the soul)...they resemble little
children, restless and hard to please, always whining to their mother
for this thing or that, and never satisfied. Just as a man who digs
covetously for a treasure grows tired and exhausted, so does he who
strives to acquire the demands of his appetites become weary and
fatigued. And even if he does finally obtain them, he is always weary
because he is never satisfied." 7)

   One cannot help but to be struck with the profound similarities
between the thought of John of the Cross born in the year 1542 in Spain
and those of Eric Berne the author of the more contemporary psychology
of transactional analysis relating to one's interior Parent Adult Child
relationships. It is to this same unbridled narcissistic child of
passion which John of the Cross addresses his concern. It is this child
which which encompasses the entirety of the temple. It is this Child
who scrawls the grafitti on the temple walls. And it is this child
which St. John of the Cross seeks diminish through the mortification of
the flesh; the purification of the soul.

   Room to side of the temple's inner court provided the kitchen areas
and living space for the priests. Here it was that they cooked their
meals. It is in the inner court or the Holy Place in which the self
exists, surrounded on every side by the walls of the outer court,
surrounded on every side by the grafetti on those walls. It is in this
place, this inner court yard of the soul where God seeks to meet man.
It is in this holy place that the presence of the Living God, who makes
his home in the Most Holy Place, meets man. It was here when Solomon
dedicated the temple that the Cloud of The Lord appeared. In John's
Revelation 8) it is the inner court, it is the Holy Place, which the
prophet is told to measure. It is that inner temple; that inner self
which is measured. The outer court having been given over to the world
and its influence to trample on and destroy.

   So finally we come to the Most Holy Place, that sacred place in
which the Ark of the Covenant rested. Only the High Priest for that
year was permitted to enter here. It was in this room of the temple in
which God himself was present.

   Where the Ark of the Covenant was there also was God. The Ark itself
represented the throne of God; but it was a 8) The Revelation of St.
John, Chapter 11:1-2 throne which unlike those of the cults, was left
empty. All that man could see of God was the Cloud by Day and the Fire
by Night. God, who is totally different from mankind, totally
unknowable apart from Christ, had chosen to set his throne within the
soul of mankind.

   Prayers of Recollection

   As we talked about earlier in our study the Gospel can be understood
on at least four different levels those being the literal, moral,
allegorical and anagogical. These four levels also constitute one of
the simplest approaches to prayer. As we learn to pray we shall take
the information which we have already gained from our meticulous
studies of scriptures on the first three of these levels and begin to
transfer that understanding from the intellectual to the spiritual. Key
to this whole approach to prayer will be our ability to see ourselves
being addressed in those situations upon which we are reflecting. St.
Teresa of Avila advises the following "she consoles those who cannot
reason with the understanding, shows how vocal prayer may be combined
with mental, and ends by advising those who suffer from aridity in
prayer to picture Jesus as within their hearts and thus always beside
them" 1) What is important here for St. Teresa is for one to use their
senses, specifically, that of the imagination in allowing ourselves to
"day dream" in that we look upon the face of Christ.

   Yet this looking upon the Face of God does not happen in a vacuum,
for there are many Spirits which assail our consciousness.

   Our own passions and dysfunctional thinking, being chief amongst
them. As such it is necessary to have some controls by which we can
discern those thoughts which we have about ourselves which are true and
those which are lies. It is in the scriptures that we can begin to find
the discernment necessary to separate truth which we feel about
ourselves from the fantasy. It is just as the scriptures say "For the
word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edge sword,
it penetrates even to dividing the soul and spirit, joints and marrow;
it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" 2) So, then in these
things we shall return to the scriptures for the discernment required
for our spiritual growth.

   Since many of us are just now beginning the journey of the soul we
are still closely attached to our sensuality, not having yet come to
the place where we are able to purge ourselves of those feelings and
attitudes which so influence and hinder us in our relationship to God
and others. As such God through his most tender and loving mercy has
humbled himself in that he seeks to approach us by addressing us in a
way which we can understand, through our senses. One of the way's in
which God manifests himself to us is through our imagination and
fantasy, making himself known to us in terms of form, images, and other
concrete 2) Paul's letter to the Hebrew's 4:12 things which we are
capable of comprehending. In general this concrete type of "day
dreaming" is allegorical nature.

   These dreams which God allows to interrupt our experience of his
presence are are one of the many ways through which the roots of our
dysfunctions begin to surface. By allowing ourselves to experience
these "dreams" and their associated emotions we are able to release the
power which these "deamons" have thereby allowing one to "purify"
himself.

   John of the Cross says of this "Besides this interior bodily senses,
such as the imagination and phantasy, are gradually perfected and
accustomed to good through considerations, meditations, and holy
reasonings, and the spirit is instructed. When through this natural
exercise they are prepared, God may enlighten and spiritualize them
further with some supernatural imaginative vision from which the
spirit, as we affirmed, at the same time profits notably.

   This natural and supernatural exercise of the interior senses
gradually reforms and refines the spirit." 3) In modern Psychiatry the
clearest road to the soul is through one's dreams. For Sigmund Freud
the specific role of dreams in one's life remained elusive. However
there is no doubt in his mind that one's dreams play an important role
in one's life. In his discussion on the unconscious he relates
"Unconscious processes can only be observed by us 3) The Ascent of
Mount Carmel, John of the Cross, Book II,chapter 17, 4 under the
conditions of dreaming and neurosis; that is to say, when the processes
of the higher system ... revert to an earlier level by a certain
process of degradation(regression)." 6) Other psychiatrists tend to
agree with the general role which dreams play in one's life.

   The content of one's unconscious processes shown through dreams is
described by Ullman as being "revelational" in nature in that they
represent new perceptions which are leading to a "self-revelation" in
areas of life in which techniques of denial are beginning to
deteriorate. He says "The content of dreams can best be viewed as a
dialectical unity in which new perceptions leading to new levels of
self-revelation are struggling to gain expression in an area where
outmoded techniques of self-deception are beginning to weaken and and
crumble." 7) Although there is disagreement amongst psychiatrist as to
the specific nature of dreams, there is however agreement that the
images which are derived from dreaming can be healing "The imagery of
the dream is generated as part of an intrinsic self-healing process.

   This relates to the root-meaning of the verb 'to heal', meaning to
make whole" 8) Bruce Larson in his book "The Edge of Adventure"
discusses the influence of dreams as they relate to his prayer life 6)
General Psychological Theory, Sigmund Freud p.135 7) Handbook of Dreams
, Benjamin B. Wolman, p. 291 8) ibid p.409

   "Sometimes a vision of someone I resented would come floating into
my prayers or some incongruous situation that I did not want to think
about. Instead of suppressing it I began to offer the person or the
thing immediately to God, asking him to make my thoughts about this
person more like his... And before I knew it, I discovered God was
touching more and more of my life through this time of prayer." 9) In
all of this, however, we should be cautioned not take the fruit of our
dreams and attribute to them the status as being 'messages from God'
even though we may find ourselves experiencing the most profound sense
of being in the presence of God. But rather, we should immediately take
our dreams and return them to God. This accomplishes two things. First
of all, by giving our imagination and its dreams back to God we are
freed from the need to discern whether or not the images which we
perceive come from God, ourselves, or an angel of darkness. I find from
my own experience that although many time I feel that I am in the very
presence of God, I am unable to discern whether or not these feelings
and sensitivities come from a profound need to feel that I am loved and
accepted arising from within myself or from God himself. By releasing
these images and acknowledging my powerlessness over them;
acknowledging my inability to fully discern their source I have been
able to return control of my prayers to God who is capable of
understand my inability to discern the source of such 9) The Edge of
Adventure, Keith Miller & Bruce Larson, p.55 things. Secondly, but
perhaps more importantly, is that by returning these images to God
those areas of our lives which hinder communication with God are
neutralized for the moment enabling God to minister with greater
effectiveness to our spirit.

   John of the Cross uses an analogy similar to that which was used by
the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians in discussing
effectiveness of God's ministry. The Apostle Paul says "Now we are
seeing a dim reflection in a mirror; but then we shall be seeing face
to face. The knowledge that I have now is imperfect; but then I shall
know as fully as I am known." 4) The analogy which John draws is that
of a dirty window on a sunny day. It is only when we begin to wipe away
the dirt that the sun can come through and illuminate the interior
room. Here Christ is the sun and the window is the window to the soul.
Since man does not do windows very well it is necessary to return the
wash cloth to God who removes the blemishes which hinder his light from
entering into our souls. 5) In this way God begins to enter into our
lives. Dealing with us where we are at the present time seeking to
remove those aspects of our life which come between us. The time 4) I
Corinthians. 13:12 5) The Ascent of Mount Carmel, John of the Cross,
Book II chapter 5 6-7 which we are now spending we are spending with
the creator of the universe who seeks only to know us just as we are at
this moment. For the present time our knowledge is imperfect; the the
time will come when we shall understand as fully as we are understood
by God.

   The role of the Eucharist

   In our last talk we discussed our inability to discern the source of
our spiritual experiences, and, how this mandated our returning those
thought to God in the faith that He would be willing forgive this short
comming on our part.

   Our inability to discern between the sources of our religious
sensitivity, which feelings and dreams come from God, from ourselves or
from the powers of darkness was of concern to The Desert Father's as
they were confronted with the necessity of having to discern amongst
the spirits.

   In one instance demons appeared to a brother living a solitary life
of prayer. These demons appeared to him as angels, waking him from his
prayer ,showing him a great light. But How then are we to come to know
God if all which we experience is suspect to this deception? Where is
the touchstone for our experience of God? How are we to discern the
authentic presence of God in our midst? It is interesting to note that
the answer comes from God himself when he says "You cannot see my face,
for no one may see me and live." 1) Even Moses with whom God was
speaking did not see God for he was protected by the "hand of God".

   As such it is impossible for us to see God. Our experience 1) Exodus
33:20 of his presence is always one step removed. There is story
written of a young man who draws the analogy of walking with God on the
beach. In looking back over the sand he notices only one set of
footprints in the sand questioning Christ he asks "Where were you
during this most difficult period of my life?" Christ's response was
that this was where He was carrying the young man. This is in a sense
analogous to our experience of God. We often times do not directly
experience the presence of Christ in our lives. What we experience is
the sensation of his passing. In the story of the young man all that is
visible to him are the one set of footprints in the sand, not the one
who carried him. What this young man experienced was not the direct
presence of Christ in his life, but rather the feelings and emotions of
being in a relationship with another individual. In other words he as
one step removed from the direct experience of Christ in his life.

   This is similar to what Christ Himself said "The wind blows where
ever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes
from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the spirit."
2) It is as if here Christ were saying that we can know of the wind
only by the effects of its passing. We can hear the sound of the wind,
we can see it rustling the leaves on trees, its blowing on the waters,
or the moving of tumble weeds, but we cannot see 2) John 3:8 the wind
itself. It is by its very nature a mystery to us, our experience of the
wind is second hand. Yet we know that the wind exists because we see
the signs of its passing. So also it is with our experience of the
Presence of God. We know of his reality because of the signs of his
passing, but to know him face to face, apart from a man, is impossible.

   It is in this sense that our experience of God is symbolic in
nature. The signs and experiences of His presence are always one step
removed from the real experience of God, however, our experience of his
presence, and the effects of his passing point directly to him and his
glory. This symbolic understanding of our experience of God in no way
diminishes the reality of his presence. It is only that our sensitivity
to his presence has been diminished.

   Martin Luther struggled with these same issues. Although he would
deny any role for mysticism in determining doctrine or authenticating
any revelation he falls in the mystical tradition. On numerous
occasions he was faced with the need to distinguish between what could
be considered true and false revelations. Eric H Erickson in his book
"Young Man Luther" in dealing with the life of Luther from a
psychiatric standpoint describes numerous instances in which Luther was
forced by psychical events to discern the validity of such events. The
most dramatic of these occurrence occurred on July 2nd as Martin
returned home from college. Here on the road to Erfurt he was struck by
lightening. In great fear of his life he cried out "Help me St. Anne I
want to become a monk" 3) In his attempt to resolve these issues he
found that there were two standards upon which to judge such things the
first was that scripture alone was indicative of god's truth and
secondly that the sacraments of baptism and the lord's supper were the
signs or symbols of God's presence.

   For Luther the experience which we have of God is symbolic in
nature. This is clearly set out as in his writings on the sacrament of
the Lord's supper. For Luther the Lord's Supper represented a symbol of
the two dimensional relationships of man. In the first case it
represented a sure sign that we are in unity with God and in the second
is the reality of our participation in his kingdom. The external symbol
of this unity was represented by the total experience of the Sacrament
of the Lord's supper. As he says in his writings "In this sacrament,
therefore, man is given through the priest a sure sign from God himself
that he is thus united with Christ and his saints and has all things in
common[with them], that Christ's sufferings and life are his own,
together with the lives and sufferings of all the saints." 4) 3) Young
Man Luther, A study in Psychoanalysis and History Erik H. Erikson, W.W.
Norton & co, Inc. P. 91-92 4) Luther's Works Word & Sacrament vol 35,
Fortress Press, P.52:6

   For Luther the presence of God and our participation in his kingdom
during the Eucharist was a reality. The bread and wine which
constituted the visible portion of the Eucharist for Luther were not to
be understood in a metaphorical, or allegorical nature. At this point
he differs sharply with John Calvin who believed that since God was
present every where the Eucharist was symbolic in so far as the bread
and wine were symbolic of the of our need for "spiritual food" to
strengthen us on our spiritual journey. For Luther however,
participation in the Eucharist meant that one participated in the total
experience of reality of Jesus Christ, and, the fellowship of that
Church. The symbolism for Luther included the total mystical experience
of the Eucharist, not merely the ingestion of bread and the wine.

   As such the total mystical experience itself was the sign or symbol
of God's presence amongst his people. This presence being invisible,
hidden and spiritual in nature but visible to us in the outward form of
the Eucharist. "For this reason the mass and this sacrament are a sign
by which we train and accustom ourselves to let go of all visible love,
help,and comfort, and to trust in the invisible love, help and support
of Christ and the saints." 5) So in this sense we can understand that
the Eucharist itself is a sign and a symbol of our participation in
God's kingdom, not through the symbology of mere bread and wine but,
through the sign and symbol of God's mystical or real presence in the
5) Ibid P. 66:23 Eucharist. In the Eucharist we participate in a two
dimensional world, on the one hand we receive a sign in the presence of
Christ in the Eucharist, and, on the other through the grace of God we
participate in His kingdom in reality. It is this other reality, in
which we actually participate in his kingdom, which remains hidden to
us until his return.

   It is this total experience of the Eucharist which provides the
touchstone for validating one's experiences of God in his life. The
experience of the presence of Christ in the Eucharist is the only
criteria for judging the authenticity of religious experiences. Because
of needs which we have for the assurance of God's presence in our lives
it is necessary for us to have symbols of God's presence in our lives
which are congruent with the experiences which we have in the
Eucharist. In the same sense that God has established the Eucharist as
our collective symbol of his presences amongst his people it is
necessary to individually establish symbols of God's presence with us.
Just as Samuel established a stone to mark the Lord's defeat of the
Philistines in battle so also we must establish stones to mark God's
victories in our lives, for even though God Himself cannot be seen the
signs of his passing will be unmistakable. 6) It is to these stones we
must return in the midst of our despair and pain, for as we continue in
our 6) I samuel 7:12 journey of the soul we will surely come to those
places of spiritual warfare where in dealing with our dysfunctional
nature it will take all of our strength merely to remember the
existence stones. It is at that point in our journey that the words of
the Lord will come true, when we find ourselves in those places and
those times when we are being urged compromise our faith. It is at
these times that the very stones will cry out "Blessed is he that comes
in the name of the Lord" 7) showing us the way to return to the
presence of God.

   Therefore in our Prayers and meditations it needful for us to
remember those times in which god has demonstrated his presence in
concrete ways. 7) Luke 19:38-40

   Interruptions

   As we enter into our experience of prayer nothing is so significant
as the thoughts which seem to creep into our mind when all we want to
do is to spend time with God.

   During our prayers we seek to be in the presence of God listening
for his voice in what many times seems to be only silence. Often times
I have found that into the midst of this silence comes not the
reassurance of God's presence, but rather, thoughts about my future, my
family relationships, friendships, financial security. All of the
concerns which I seem to have as person living in the twentieth century
seem to float past me like ships on a great river. In my assent to
those thoughts I have allowed them to have a power over my identity as
a human being.

   It is our nature to listen to those thoughts or voices in our minds.
It is in the act of listening to those thoughts that we give to them a
real power over our lives. If we think of ourselves for instance, as
being the product of our family and their dysfunctional nature, the
tendency is to allow that understanding of ourselves to be definitive
of who we are as a person. In many such instances we find that our self
concept on both the intellectual and emotional levels runs contrary to
scripture. In this setting "sin" leads to "sin" in other words as we
continue in listen to those self conscious thoughts which we have of
ourselves our dysfunctions feed upon themselves.

   In most situations we would not be aware of the source or the nature
of this type of thinking. Our natural defenses, our sense of morality,
cultural values, and personal experiences would tend to control our
conscious thought process suppressing those thoughts and emotions which
are determined as being threatening to our identity. In the process of
prayer we come to that point where we are able to release those natural
defenses to God, thus allowing those thoughts which we have repressed
to surface. Thus, through the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit the
healing process is then able to begin at the root of our separation
from the presence of God. Ann Neel's explanation of Freud's theory of
psycho- analysis explains this process as follows: "Under ordinary
conditions distasteful ideas, including the nature and source of a
person's problems were censored by his fears, his moral values and his
general culture. Given practice in following the analyst's
instructions, the patient could learn to by-pass these controls. The
resultant chain of associations led eventually to the feelings, ideas,
and impulses which had caused difficulties, and, finally beyond these
to the original experiences which gave rise to the maladjustment." 1)
As we indicated 1) Theories of Psychology: A handbook, Ann F. Neel
P.184 earlier, the only suitable response to these thoughts is to
return them to God, allowing him to do with them what he wishes, since
we are unable to discern between the sources of these thoughts. That is
to say since we cannot discern whether these thoughts have arisen out
of the world, the flesh or the devil, or, that God himself has summoned
these thoughts to the surface in order to dispose of some interference
in our relationship to him it is best to return them to God.

   It is however helpful to understand the nature of our thoughts and
how they tend to separate us from our relationship with God. Although
profound feelings of separation from God does not necessarily indicate
that one has lost his salvation it may, however, indicate that one may
not have made a decision to allow the Holy Spirit to sanctify one's
self. In the same sense that the death of an animal in the blood
sacrifices of the old testament were required for the cleansing of the
tabernacle so also it is necessary for the false self to perish in
order for us to enter into a whole relationship with God. Since we are
incapable of enduring life without this false self it was necessary for
another to die in our place. It is through the blood of Christ, through
the sanctifying action of the Holy Spirit which cleanses our
consciences from the acts that lead to death, that we may come to serve
the living God. 2) 2) Hebrews 9:11-14 In this sense Christ's death is
truly substitutionary, for he volunteers to do that which we are
incapable of doings for ourselves, namely he puts to death the false
self.

   Much has been written on our thought processes, how we think of the
world, and its impact on our lives. I would like however, to use the
analogy which is found in the parable of the sower as found in Matthew
13:1-24 to indicate some of the mental gymnastics which we perform to
avoid dealing with those sub-conscious areas which influence our lives.
In this parable three scenarios are presented in response to our
hearing of the word. In the first instance the word is sown alongside a
path, those hearing the word here are devoured by the demonic. In the
second instance, the word is sown in shallow soil, here although the
word sprouts and initially grows it is not sufficient to sustain life.
In the third instance the word is sown amongst weeds where it is choked
out of its life. Finally, the word is sown amongst good soil where it
grows and flourishes.

   In the first scene, that of sowing the word along the path, our
thought processes can be understood as being those ideas which grab our
attention, pulling us away from our experience of God's presence. These
thoughts have been described as being similar to hooks which grab our
thoughts sinking deep into our souls pulling us away from God and
ourselves. Not only do we become hooked on our personal cares and
concerns, but we also become hooked by those concerns which are of a
corporate nature. There is a tendency for us to be enticed by those
thoughts which we perceive as being beneficial to the whole of mankind.

   Perhaps during our meditations we find ourselves understanding a
solution to one of the worlds great difficulties, such as aids, or
cancer. Although these may seem to us as being of great value to those
surrounding us, the reality is that these thoughts grab at out
conscious thought process, enticing us away from our time with God.

   In our assent to these thoughts we are tempted by the tremendous
good which is possible, ignoring the fact that they draw us away from
our brief time with God. Satan, in the same way tempted Christ, eluding
to the positive benefits of living in a world ruled by a fallen messiah
in his promise to put all the kingdoms of the earth under his dominion
if he would worship him as god.

   Another form of these hooks comes from meditating on the
manipulativeness of those around us. There are always those who would
call us friends, but, seeking to control our actions and thoughts they
will hook into their knowledge of our lives and the personal desires
which motivate us. The intent here is not to set us free but to bind us
in a type of pseudo-intimacy in which we can be controlled through the
use our most intimate desires to meet their personal needs.

   This type of relationship can pop into our prayer life in a variety
of ways. In some instances we may feel angry, this may come from
feelings that we have denied our own needs in the relationship putting
another persons manipulations before our own personal needs. In other
instances these relationships may carry with them a sense of fear, in
that we fear the loss of our self identity if the other person should
reject us.

   In the second instance the seed which is sown in the rocky road is
indicative of the word which is sown in a superficial setting. Here
instead of keeping both eyes on God and seeking only to enjoy his
friendship, one eye is kept of God and the other is kept on one's self.
We enter into prayer not to spend time with God but to manipulate our
relationship with God, we ask not for God's friendship, but for that
which the friendship can bring, wealth, healing, power and position,
etc. In this type of prayer the tendency is to place ourselves in the
picture. Instead of thinking solely of Christ and the enjoyment of his
presence, our prayer is contingent upon some other factor or
relationship which we feel will bring us happiness. Here when one
ceases to make progress in life, or, the spiritual journey becomes too
painful, one merely bails out of one's relationship with God. The
understanding that one has to die to the false self must perish in
order to be sanctified by the Holy Spirit becomes a secondary concern.
In this instance we have become like the church at Ephesus described in
the book of Revelation for we have lost our first love and now serve
two masters.

   Finally in the third instance we come to that which is sown amongst
weeds. Here, the word begins to flourish and grow, but, the cares of
the world come, the deceit of wealth, and it is choked out. It is here
that we become entangled with our dysfunctional heritage, believing
that we are the product of our parents lives we allow those thoughts to
control our attitudes about ourselves. Our tendency to meditate on such
thoughts instead of returning them to God merely accents the nature of
our dysfunctional processes. In our assent to these thoughts we tend to
water the weeds and not the word. To ourselves we think, I am
dysfunctional because my parents were dysfunctional, my parents were
dysfunctional because my grandparents were dysfunctional, my
grandparents were dysfunctional because my great grandparents were
dysfunctional, and so on to the beginning of history. We become
entangled in the rationalizations of our behavior, forgetting that the
source of our dysfunction rests with the original Adam and Eve, who in
their original sin began the whole process. Our failure to remember
that these thoughts must be returned to God results in our
rationalizations: if only our parents had given us more time, or,
money, or, love, or, ... we would be better off that we are today. It
is imperative therefore that we return our thoughts to God.

   As we grow in our spiritual maturity we will be able to discern
those thoughts which God is calling to our consciousness and thereby
release them to Him, allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to release
the emotional energy which we have repressed. In our allowing God to
call to consciousness that which we have repressed we need not fear the
unknown since we shall not be asked to endure more than we are able.
Through his gentle hand he will clean the window of our soul one pain
at a time.

   Drowning the Dragon

   What we have thought about so far in our meditations have shown to
us the depths of our dysfunctional nature. As we have meditated our
thoughts have drifted towards our sins disclosing to us our
dysfunctional nature. As we have returned these thought to God we have
one by one released our unconscious memories which we have suppressed
throughout our lifetime. If we fail to release these thoughts to God
the effect of our meditation upon our dysfunctions can lead us into a
form of depression, in which we despair of our identity. We can very
easily slip into those feelings and attitudes from which come feelings
of hopelessness. Even though we have returned our thoughts and feelings
to God, even though we intellectually understand that God loves us, we
may still hold on to the painful fear that God may chose to abandon us,
leaving us to the consequences of our own sins.

   This is perhaps nowhere better illustrated than in the stage play
"Waiting for Godot". In this play two vagabonds wait in a field for a
man called Godot who has promised them work. Every day one of Godot's
servants ascends the hill proclaiming that Godot is coming, but, each
day only the messenger appears, not Godot himself. The vagabonds begin
to loose faith in Godot. They begin to quarrel amongst themselves as to
whether they should wait another day, or go to the next town where they
have heard of work. For myself this is very descriptive of abandonment
by God, in which others talk to God, but the only messages which I
receive are second hand.

   It is clear from these feelings that we need to have a sign from God
that he has indeed not abandoned mankind to his own sins. Our fears of
abandonment by God need to be addressed in a personal way in which we
as individuals can have the assurance that God has chosen to remain
with us in the midst of our suffering. For Luther this sign came in the
sign of Baptism. For Luther baptism was an act on the part of both God
and man. On the part of man baptism signified a willingness to put to
confront sin in one's life, to be willing to daily put sin to death. It
is to continually struggle against the power which our dysfunctions
have, to daily crucify that old Adam, the false self. God for his part
accepts this desire on the part of man to daily put to death his sinful
nature. He therefore gives to man a sign of His willingness to grant
this desire in Baptism. In his writings on Baptism he says "In the
first place you give yourself up to the sacrament of baptism and to
what it signifies. That is, your desire to die, together with your
sins, and to be made new on the last day. This is what the sacrament
declares, as has been said. God accepts this desire at your hands and
grants you baptism. From that hour he begins to make you a new person."
(luthers works vol35 P.32) For Luther, all that was needed was the
desire for repentance, the desire to change one's life.

   Yet, ironically, Luther makes the comment later in his discussion of
baptism "Therefore those people err greatly who think that through
baptism they have become wholly pure.

   They go about in their ignorance and do not slay their sin.

   Indeed they do not admit that it is sin. They simply persist in it,
and so make their baptism of no effect. They continue to depend on a
few external works. Meanwhile pride, hatred, and other evils in their
nature, which they disregard grow worse and worse." (luther's works vol
35 p.

   36) In a sense Luther here is addressing the role which is played by
denial in our spiritual recovery. The true nature of our sins remain
hidden from us, suppressed in Freudian analogy in the unconscious. At
first glance these dysfunctional influences appear to be "normal", not
at all dysfunctional. This is the seductive nature of sin, for man in
his unwillingness to daily confront his dysfunctions, remains blind to
his sins. For Luther the moral failure of man was not so much in his
unethical behavior as in his failure to continually and daily confront
sin and put it to death.

   This is more clearly understood as it relates to the partial purity
which is imparted by God during baptism, with baptism God begins his
sanctifying activity. In this process of sanctification God gives to us
that which we desire, namely, to overcome our dysfunctional nature. To
this end we are confronted daily with the consequences of sin, in our
emotional, physical, and, financial suffering. This confrontation
continues through out a persons life until our desire is finally fully
realized in the resurrection of the Dead on the last day. Thus we are
called to daily put to death the old Adam, the old dysfunctions, the
false self, our hidden agenda. So profound and integrated into
ourselves is the nature of our sins, and dysfunctions, that it is only
in death itself that they are fully put to rest.

   Yet our understanding of this sign from God would be incomplete
without a full understanding of the second part of the sign of baptism.
Although we are in the first part of this sign completely submerged,
drowning the old Adam, in the second part of this sign we are raised up
to life in the new Adam. This sign was referred to in Paul's letter to
Titus where "He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by
the Holy Spirit." (titus 3:5) The analogies of man's rebirth from
drowning in the scriptures are numerous.

   In Peter's first letter Baptism is compared to the flood of Noah, in
which eight people were saved from the destruction of the wickedness
which existed. In Israel's exodus from Egypt, the horsemen of Egypt and
their chariots were drowned, and, the nation of Israel was born. In the
Book of Jonah, the prophet cries out from the deep and the Lord rescues
him, but not before Jonah confessed his sin before the Lord. In this
same sense, when we begin to confront our own sinfulness and
dysfunction, turning this over to the Lord, we are not left in the
belly of the fish, but our feet are set upon solid ground.

   So in this sense we can be said to be living schizophrenic lives.
One the one hand, by the fact of our birth, we carry with us in that
old Adam, our dysfunctional nature which causes us such pain. On the
other hand, through the grace of God in our baptism we have the
assurance of his love, that on the last day we shall be resurrected the
New Adam.

   He promises that from the date of our baptism we participate in the
nature of the New Adam, although not fully so. It is through our
allowing God to daily crucify this old Adam in our prayers and
meditations that we are able to release this tension. But this tension
is not an easy on to release.

   It is at best painful and fraught with suffering, "Sin, however,
does not like to die, and for this reason it makes death so bitter and
so horrible." (luther's works vol 35 p.39) Yet it is only through the
death of the false self that one can become sanctified. "I tell you the
truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground a dies, it remains
only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds . The man
who loves his life will loose it, while the man who hates his life in
this world will keep it for eternal life" John 12:23-25 It is in this
which makes our spiritual growth so painful, and yet so powerful. It is
in this sign of Jonah, the resurrection of the true self from the
depths of its despair that the power of God is manifest for all to see.
This is the meaning of the resurrection.

   1) Isaiah 6:9

   2) I Cor 3:16

   3) John 2:16

   4) Antiquities of the Jews, Joseph Flavius, Chapter 7:7, The John C.
Winston Co.

   5) Ezekiel 8:10 - 16

   6) The Ascent of Mount Carmel, St. John of the Cross,

   1) The way of Perfection, St. Teresa of Avila, Double Day, p. 16