The California Collection/TheCaliforniaCollection.cdr/his086/lonley.lzh/LONLEY.TXT

Text File | 1991-07-08 | 9KB | 168 lines

DEV:Escape From Lonesome Valley

   Eccl. 4:9-12

   While the title of this message might sound much like a dramatic
title for a cheap grade B Western, this is far from my intent, I'd like
to share something with you that is ours in Christ, it is simple and
undramatic.

   Loneliness is something we all have to deal with at times, wether in
the midst of a great crowd, with the gifts of life surrounding us, or
in the middle of a lonely place yearning for that gift so freely given
of people in a crowded room (but yet so unwisely spent).

   There is often a great similarity between the Socialite in the
middle of the glitz and glamour of a grand social life, constantly
being praised for those great accomplishments, and the single mother,
placed in such a position because of divorce or the death of a spouse,
who can barely make it through the turmoil of everyday life and in the
public eye would accomplish little to be lauded and praised. All of
these are possibly on the same strife-ridden road of life, a life of
loneliness. Perhaps knowing all the trappings the world may have to
offer but not knowing from where that next "emotional" meal may come.
That which we all desire so fervently but we gain so little of. We are
experiencing emotional starvation, because the junkfood this world has
to offer may fill, but never satisfy.

   Sociologists call this generation in which we live today the lonely
generation or the single crowd. Our population may have reached
enormous proportions, but little of the common bond in humanity comes
to us in our lives. Loneliness pervades everything we do or say, it
grips our thoughts, our words, our whole being. We try to replace this
empty emotion with the feeling of the "Christmas Morning" syndrome of
buying our "toys" and feeling the joy and excitement that we felt as
children. But as the new wears off, we're once again faced with
loneliness.

   Perhaps we don't find ourselves in the "Christmas Morning" syndrome
with things but relationships. Perhaps we try to keep our lives in the
honeymoon stage of always feeling the excitement of that new
relationship. But, as relationships falter in the real world, as we
also fail others, we can become disenchanted and once again find
ourselves in lonesome valley. This may, in many people's lives, be the
single most driving force that will carry them further and further into
that canyon of darkness and, ultimately, the stench of emotional death.

   I want to challenge you to come to recognize that we need not be
lonely in a crowd. We need not suffer the fate of lonesome valley, but
can once again be in a relationship that will not fail, but that will
grow and flourish as no relationship has ever known in your life. The
"Indians" have surrounded us, haven't they? The "arrows" even now that
are entering your life may come in many forms, but the very thing we
seek refuge in seems to "defect" to the enemy. It becomes part of that
force that ever onward drives us to seclusion.

   "Two are better than one . . ." as our passage has stated. Even in
the Creation account there came a time that God acknowledged to man
that it was not a good thing for him to be alone. It was not proper
that he should carry out the work alone that was given to him to do,
but that he should have a helpmeet.

   Perhaps you feel now in your life that you're ready to strike the
emotional wall. That you're on the brink of a heart-rending pinnacle
from which you may soon plunge and never recover, all attributable to
that gnawing, aching, emptiness inside on which we've tagged the name
loneliness.

   There is one who will pull us from that pinnacle of being alone, who
will rescue our hearts and emotions from spiritual death. This one who
loves us greatest, enough that He should die for us. The One we call
the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

   Many a Christian has given up in the battle of Spiritual Warfare,
with family and friends all around, because of the loneliness factor.
Satan has crept in with his lies, deceits, and accusations, to leave us
alone and lonely. Feeling most of all, alienated from God. We so easily
remove our armor and drop our weapons because of the hurt and pain of
the moment, and this is where Satan begins his conquest of us. For,
surely, following defeat comes discouragement to ever pick up our
weapons again and run to the battle.

   There is a great difference in being lonesome and having solitude.
One can be in a crowd and be lonesome, and yet have solitude and never
feel alone. And this is really the key. The FEELING of being alone is
because of the separation from the one who can give us that kind of
companionship even in the midst of solitude. We fail so often to
develop the relationship necessary to come to know, truly know in our
hearts, this one who "will never leave you nor forsake you".

   In one year, the average American today probably meets as many
people as the average person did in a lifetime 100 years ago. And yet
he's far lonelier. The presence of others doesn't necessarily guarantee
the escape from lonesome valley. According to a Los Angeles
psychiatrist and author, Dr. Leonard Zunin, mankind's biggest problem
is simply loneliness.

   The first factor that we must deal with in dealing with the Valley
of Lonesomeness is that of self pity. The actress, Joan Blondell, once
had a method of dealing with loneliness and its cousin, self pity. She
used a common kitchen timer to pull herself out of the slumps. She
would say "I'd set the timer for 6 1/2 minutes to be lonely, and 22
minutes to be sorry for myself. And then when the bell rings, I take a
shower, or a walk, or a swim, or I cook something, but ultimately think
about something else." That may have worked very well for her, but I
must have something more substantial.

   Feelings of persecution, of being singled out by God for some great
inquisition, or simply feeling that a fellow brother or sister hasn't
really treated us much like "family", can all lead to that self
effacing, self destructive force that spirals us further into
loneliness that is known as self-pity.

   Self sufficiency can bring about loneliness. Not that we feel all
alone, but rather that we are alone and love it. We don't need anyone
else. We don't need God, or others, or family, or anyone else. We just
don't see the need. Christianity becomes something for weaker people.
But, this kind of personal "strength" doesn't last forever. Inevitably
in our lives comes a time that we are faced with our own frailty, our
own weakness in us that is inbred and born into our human natures. The
weakness of the flesh, as we may call it, and thus the weakness of the
spirit.

   It doesn't become long that we not only alienate our fellow man from
us, but really alienate God. We become so self dependant that we become
selfish. Self pity may not be in our vocabulary, because in reality we
can have no one to blame but ourselves, but when life swings its best
at us, and we've found our houses built on sand, even though we "did it
ourselves" as "self-made men", we ultimately find ourselves in a most
pitiful position, the position of being truly alone.

   Idleness can become another factor in bringing about loneliness. You
may say " but I'm one of the busiest people in the community. I'm
involved in all the civic organizations, which do a lot of good for the
community, and I have my business to take care of. I'm far from being
idle."

   The idleness of which I speak, however, is not that idleness of the
sluggard. The ones who are afraid of work and life's requirements for
survival, for that has its own judgement. The idleness of which I speak
is the idleness of spiritual things. The neglect of those things that
are requirements for our spiritual survival, and our ultimately being
removed from the Valley of Lonesomeness.

   How can we, as we call ourselves Christians, find ourselves in such
a position of not knowing our Saviour? "Ah, yes, but I do know Him. I
surrendered my life to Him and LET Him be my Saviour." We must get the
attitude out of our Christian walk of LETTING God do anything in our
lives. As our Creator and Redeemer, He has every right to expect of us
a full accounting. This is what Grace truly means, that in Him being
our Saviour and paying a debt that was owed by you and I, He deserves
the service that is required not to be a yoke of burden, but to enable
us to come to a closer relationship with Him.

   If we never read His word, how can we know his general will for our
lives, and truly come to have the mind of Christ? If we never bow our
knees, and most importantly our prideful hearts in prayer, how can we
ever come to know His specific direction for our lives, and come close
to having the Spirit working manifestly in our lives. By leaving our
Bibles on the shelves, and our prayers in the closet, we have told God
"I can do it on my own, I'll come to you in an emergency, but
everything else I can do."

   The ultimate end to all of that pride and "inner strength" is to
never really come to develop a healthy relationship with the One who
gave His all for you. Where does my loneliness come from? Where can I
go for companionship? I need a new car... No, I need a new job. Perhaps
I just need to run to Him.