The California Collection/TheCaliforniaCollection.cdr/his059/bbb0590x.lzh/BBB0590X.TXT

Text File | 1991-06-30 | 12KB | 196 lines

BBB:* * ?? who am I ?? * *

   No one yet has given the Christians a guessing game on "famous
personalities" in the world from a Biblical point of view. We thought
you might enjoy a "$64,000 Ouestion," or "What's My Line?" or "The
Price Is Right," or something else from that angle. No such
questionnaire has ever appeared so it probably should appear somewhere
now.

   1. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic. I became the most famous man in the twentieth century. I made
a concordat with the pope in 1933 and called my new order "Positive
Christianity." (Got it yet?) I did not agree with the pope on training
young people but I never was excommunicated. I committed suicide after
murdering six million Jews. Who am I?

   2. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic in the northeastern part of the United States. My people were
Italians and I always liked the Mafia. My income was sometimes
$4,000,000 a year, although my Catholic mother made only about $25 for
each abortion she performed in the basement of our home. Who am I? I
replaced a man called "the old Groaner" and they called me "The Voice."
I fornicated regularly most of my life and bragged that all my life had
been lived "My Way." Who am I? I sang for Tommy Dorsey before I hit the
top and I drank heavily after I was forty years old, although I had
always drunk liquor since I was a teenager. Who am I?

   3. Who am I? I wrote five hundred pages attacking the Jews and
recommended that they commit suicide when Hitler came to power. I was a
vegetarian and thought Buddha was greater than Jesus Christ because
Buddha loved animals. I urinated in public most of my life and cut off
relations with my wife in order to demonstrate "civil disobedience."
Who am I? I went on hunger strikes and got riots going that eventually
killed 10,000 people. Norman Vincent Peale and Earl Stanley Jones
called me "the greatest Christian that ever lived" and Einstein said
that someday men would marvel that such a man as I ever lived here in
flesh and blood. I was assassinated. Who am I? The thing that kept me
from being a "Christian" was how Christians treated blacks in South
Africa. I let people call me "father" because I had power to atone for
their sins. Who am I? Michael Luther King Jr. set me up as a pattern
for "civil disobedience" in America so over five hundred people were
killed and $200,000,000 worth of vandalism, burning and looting took
place. Who am I?

   4. Who am I? I was a Hollywood actor who always played tough macho
parts. When I died Charismatics came to my ward and prayed for my
healing and claimed Jesus Christ was going to do it. I died of AIDS
shortly thereafter. A fairy who shacked up with me (i.e., we fornicated
more regularly together than in the "spas" with the "crowd") got more
than $2,000,000 out of my estate because I hurt his feelings. Doris Day
said she would be so happy to meet me again after death in heaven. Who
am I? I was a heavy boozer the last twenty years of my life and my
death was hailed as the death of a martyr by National Public Radio and
People magazine. My death opened up the eyes of the nation to the fact
that the American people were morally obligated to help sex perverts
continue with their "lifestyles." Who am I?

   5. Who am I? I portrayed Jesus Christ as a "garlic eating, greasy,
stinking, little Fascist bastard" and believed that my rock group was
more popular than He was. I was an Englishman and lived off a variety
of drugs all my adult life. Who am I? I married a Japanese girl and got
my brains blown out after writing a song called "HAPPINESS IS A WARM
GUN." The man that shot me was raised on the rock music I and the
Beatles played. Who am I?

   6. Who am I? I was a German who wound up somewhere in South America,
but no one knew for sure until they dug up my dead body and looked at
my skull and teeth. They then said that I had been a famous medical
doctor in a concentration camp. Who am I? I was born, raised,
sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman Catholic and served the head of the
Gestapo, who was also born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic. I worked at Auschwitz and the Catholics got me safely out of
Germany at the close of World War II through Der Spinne. Who am I? Nuns
and priests took care of me in convents and monastaries so I would not
have to appear in Nueremberg. I was working at Auschwitz for Rudolph
Hoess, who was also born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic. Who am I?

   7. Who am I? I was a German Jew who set up the governments for China
and Russia. I taught the theory of evolution was a scientific fact, and
that "Capitalism" was the source of the world's evils. Michael Luther
King Jr. said my economic system--no ownership or private property,
soak the rich to pay the poor, welfare state from the cradle to the
grave--was his economic system. Who am I? I taught the Bible was a lie
from cover to cover and that the millennium would come only when there
was an "equal distribution of wealth." I never worked a day in my life
so two of my children starved to death due to malnutrition. I studied
theology in school and professed Christianity when I was young. Who am
I? Fidel Castro, Mrs. Aquino, Chairman Mao, Lenin, Stalin, and
Khruschev were my devotees, along with the Catholic IRA in Ireland, and
Pope Paul VI. Who am I?

   8. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a Roman
Catholic, so naturally I am anxious to die in "a state of grace" with
no "mortal sins" to atone for. This is why I devoted my life to good
works. I work with lepers. I gained the reputation of being the most
godly woman who ever lived. I do not know the New Testament plan of
salvation but I know about the sacraments. I have never led a soul to
Christ in my life but I believe in the fundamentals as given by Bob
Jones University. Who am I? I teach that Hitler, Mao Tse-tung, Lenin,
Stalin, Al Capone, Jim Jones, Charles Manson, Bishop Tutu, Idi Amin,
Heinrich Himmler, and Bugs Moran were all children of God. The Devil is
not anyone's "father" no matter what Jesus Christ said (John 8).
Someday my church will make a saint out of me to get some more good
"press." Who am I?

   9. Who are we? We got everything we know from German rationalists
and German higher critics. We were Englishmen who wantad to take the
Anglican church back to Rome for the pope to run. We professed to be
Greek scholars and got the RV committee of 1881 to accept a Roman
Catholic text from the Jesuits at Douay-Rheims for a New Testament. Who
are we? We fooled Philip Schaff, Charles Spurgeon, A.T. Robertson, R.A.
Torrey, John Broadus, Bob Jones Jr., Custer, Neal, Afman, Martin,
Price, Machen, Davis, Warfield, Bob Jones III, and over five hundred
teachers in Bible schools in America. Who are we? We doted on an
Alexandrian manuscript that had been concealed in the Vatican for
nearly four hundred years, and used it to correct the Authorized
Version in four thousand places. We established the Greek text for the
New International Version, the New American Standard Version, and all
Roman Catholic Bibles in the twentieth century (NKJV, NAB, etc.). Who
are we?

   10. Who am I? I was born, raised, sprinkled, and confirmed as a
Roman Catholic. My father got the USA into World War II through his
close associations with Winston Churchill. He also set up the liquor
traffic between Great Britain and America. One of my brothers was
assassinated and another one narrowly missed being tried for murder.
Who am I? When I became president, Life and Newsweek called my wife a
"queen" so I set up an absolute dictatorship for a king with Security
Rules so I could take over the railways, airports, radio stations, TV
stations, highways, storehouses, and homes of America and even ship
families to different parts of the country. Who am I? I was
assassinated after killing over five hundred Cubans in a fake attempt
to land on Cuba. I did not give them the air support or ship support I
promised them so they wound up dead or in prison. I have a candle
burning at my grave because the press made a god out of me before and
after my death. Who am I?

   11. Who am I? I became a Liberal Modernist at Crozier Theoiogical
Seminary and, not believing in heaven or hell, or the second coming of
Jesus Christ, I decided to make the world "a better place to live in."
Being a radical racist I decided to make it better for one race only. I
changed my name so people would think I was a Christian reformer. (Tne
press went along with me and didn't tell anyone.) Who am I? When I set
up strikes in Montgomery the people hollered "Here comes the KING OF
KINGS." (The press went along with me and covered up.) I rode in
Kennedy's private airplane and picked up several hundred thousand
dollars a year preaching racism. Who am I? I fornicated regularly while
condoning riots in Detroit and Washington, and stated that I was a
Marxist in economics and approved of violence if just demonstrating
didn't get blackmail money for one race to the exclusion of the others.
After I was investigated, the press attacked the FBI and then approved
of hiding the records of my personal life so no one would know what
kind of a man I was APART FROM THE NEWS MEDIA. I became the first
American national hero whose life was so rotten and corrupt it couldn't
bear being publicized. Who am I? My birthday is known as "National Do
Nothing Day." It is used by all Communists and Socialists as an alibi
to ask the government for more blackmail money. Who am I?

   12. Who am I? I am the most widely traveled political speaker in the
world today. I teach that Christians and Moslems and Jews worship the
same God and I am the visible representative of that God on this earth.
I reserve the title of that God to myself--"Holy Father" and "Most Holy
Father." I teach that no one can get forgiveness of sins from God only
and that Fatima's peace plan for Russia has finally worked out
according to a UFO two Portuguese children saw before World War II. Who
am I? I was an actor before taking the place of a dictator who was
killed almost as soon as he was elected. I teach that the one true
church that Jesus Christ founded was not Jewish-- even though all
twelve apostles were Jewish when He founded it--but that it is ROMAN,
and that anyplace where the New Testament runs afoul of that Roman
church it is to be corrected by the traditions of the "church fathers"
(Clement, Cyprian, Eusebius, Marytr, Augustine, Ignatius, Polycarp, et
al.). Who am I?

   I could stop the killing in Ireland tonight, but I will keep my
mouth shut.

   I do not recognize Israel as a state and never will because I
believe my throne should be in Jerusalem instead of Rome.

   I should have excommunicated Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Al Capone,
Lucky Luciano, Bloody Mary, Charlemagne (four wives plus concubines),
and Napoleon, but I thought it better to slide it under the rug.

   I gave full cooperation to NAZI Germany during the Holocaust and
then pretended (after the Allies won) that I had been "against" Hitler
the whole time.

   I will sign a concordat with ANYONE who believes ANYTHING, as long
as my political hierarchy has the right to operate freely within that
country. Who am I?

   THE KING JAMES TRANSLATORS CALLED ME "THE MAN OF SIN."