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OCR: TOTAL themselves a fan. MAKE YOURSELF and talking a fair amount of shit about FOOTBALL SCARCE, bog-paper the subject along the "satiricial" football way. Because, let's be comics and the first- honest, that's exactly form jokes about what YOU do. bums and willies that So come with us reside within. Back to now, as we journey the deepest, most through that strange, , is a football sulphurous pits of hell far off land we call lotal Football, you [contrary to reports in the less scrupulous with you all. tabloids) or use You won't find us Football and celebrate everything that makes magazine not like patronising you with it such a fun place to other football special machines [much), but we have tedious puff-pieces live. We know this is magazines. Total Football is what nevertheless created and pull-out posters. Nor will we will be exactly the kind of exactly that magazine. boring you to tears magazine you want to would happen If you And Total Football is read because you're a took the brain of the with reams of tedious football supporter. world's wittiest, most its name. Yes. So BEGONE, flimsy stats and blathering And, by a staggering urbane, passionate poster mags with your tactical analysis. What co-incidence, so are and knowledgable woefully predictable we WILL be doing, on we. Ever get the football fan in the a regular monthly world and, using Ryan Giggs profiled! feeling higher forces basis, Is getting all are at work? some kind of special Your time has come. machine or We CAST YOU OUT, carried away and excited at the prospect something, turned it sober and painfully into a magazine. We worthy magazines of anything even aimed at people who remotely connected didn't actually have to with leather spherical kill anybody and read half of Fever scoop out their brains Pitch and now call objects, and the people who kick them, GARY WHITTA, Editor