YPA: Your Privacy Assured/YPA.ISO/text/j264-014

Text File | 1995-03-09 | 17KB | 412 lines

     Journal Entry 014 / 0264

     It was very dark and very late when I finally decided to get out of
bed.  So far I hadn't been able to sleep, and I was getting annoyed.  I
finally sighed and decided to go upstairs and get myself something to
drink.

     I stepped carefully out of bed so as not to disturb P'nyssa, who
was one of the reasons I couldn't sleep.  She'd been running a fever all
day, and was still hovering about 372 degrees, well over her normal 358.
Since humans tend to run at about 370, her body was warmer than mine for
once, and I was actually uncomfortable.  I was still more worried about
her, though, running 24 degrees high like that.  That's dangerously high
for her, it's like us running close to 400, no fun.

     I walked under the access portal in the ceiling and leapt up just a
touch; the antigrav tractors grabbed me and silently pushed up to the
floor above.  I grabbed the railing and easily hauled myself into the
living room with the familiarity of movement that comes with living in
the same home for years and years.  I glanced outside the porch glass
doors; the snowstorm was still raging as it had been when I'd gone to
bed three hours earlier.  It was probably the darkest night I'd ever
seen on Pendor; usually we get a lot of light reflected indirectly from
the other, daylit sectors.  But today the blizzard had virtually
grounded the castle into the protection of the mountain crater it
usually floated above, and the snow blocked the passage of what light
there would be.

     Despite the complete darkness, I maneuvered about my home at
complete ease; everything was in it's place, nothing was strewn
miscellaneously about the floor; Dave had seen to that.  Every night he
tended to fix the place up.  I guess being an Artificial Intelligence,
he has a need for order.  I walked over to the refrigerator and was
blinded by the light inside as I searched for the orange juice.  I found
it and, leaving the door open for light, I found a glass and poured
myself some.

     When the door closed, darkness returned, but I was still
comfortable.  The castle was still warm and quiet, the way it usually is
at ten o'clock at night.  Everybody was in bed (except for the night
owls, of which there were always a few, my beloved Ember among them, but
that's mostly because she works in sectors where it is daytime right
about now).  I sat down on the couch and tried to figure out what I was
going to do with my sleeplessness.

     You see, one of the strictly physical reasons that P'nyssa and I
get along so well in bed is that our body temperatures are comfortable
to each other.  P'nyssa is one of those perpetually cold people, unless
it uncomfortably warm for everybody else- then she's "just perfect."
Me, I tend to like something to keep me cooler than the temperatures I
run at.  When we sleep together, she gets a good heat source and I get a
heat sink.  Sounds funny, I know, but it's one of the reasons we like
each other.  True, she could get the effect with any human (or some of
the other races), but I'm glad she picked me.

     In any event, I sipped my cold drink and felt the slight
temperature gradient pass through me as the heat of the room sank into
the outside walls and out to the snowbound world beyond.  Don't get me
wrong, the house is very well insulated, but I could still feel it.
Familiarity with my surroundings again.

     So I sat and paused when I heard a familiar .click. from a relay
installed in the ceiling coming to life.  "Ken?"

     I was surprised at the voice.  The speaker was not Dave, but a
relative of his.  Still and all, Dave must be listening to this
conversation, or this person would not have gotten into my bedroom.
A.I. Jean Majors.  "Hello, Jean."

     "I'm sorry, but when Dave told me you were up and restless, I
decided that it was time I had a little talk with you."  Her words
echoed strangely about the living room, and I realized that a privacy
field had come on over the bedroom access.  Jean did not want P'nyssa to
hear this conversation.  Politeness? or...

     "So what's up?" I said.

     "Before I say anything else, I need to tell you that I'm probably
going to be violating someone's trust in this."

     "Jean, are you sure that this conversation is necessary?" I asked.
For an AI to tell anything told in private is like a confessor breaking
silence; something serious is going on.

     There was a pause.  "Yes, yes I am."  Another pause.  "Ken, how
long have you an P'nyssa been living together?"

     What?  "Uhm, about a hundred and sixty eight years."

     "And how many kids does P'nyssa have?"

     "Three, all girls.  Jean, what are you talking about?"

     "Hold on.  When did P'nyssa have these kids?"

     "Well, P'Maya was born in '56, P'Rose was born in '63 and P'Lissane
was born in '70."

     "And when you met P'nyssa was in '81, wasn't it?  P'Lissane was 11
then if I recall, and lived with her father."

     "Jean, what's the point of all this?"

     "Which means that P'nyssa hasn't had a child in 183 years, right?"

     "Uh, right."  I said.  I was starting to get the picture.  But I
decided to let Jean tell it to me.

     "Ken, P'nyssa told me recently that she'd like another child."

     I thought for a while and then said, slowly, "Okay.  So what's
stopping her?"

     "You are."

     "I am?" I said, surprised.

     "Yes.  She's afraid that you won't approve."

     "But I love children."

     Dave's voice came on-line for the first time.  "Yes, so long as
they aren't in your home."

     That stopped me.  Somehow the statement struck me as true; children
are great, so long as they're someone else's.  But me?  A father?  No
way, I'm not cut out for it.  I can't do a 1-hour-before-dawn feeding.
I can change a diaper, but only in an emergency.  I've done my fair
share of babysitting in the castle, but rarely late night or overnight.

     "A fair statement," I admitted.  "Jean, thank you for bringing this
to my attention, but I'd like to speak with Dave alone for a moment."

     "Of course," she answered.

     There was a short pause and then I pointed up in the general
direction of the ceiling with an accusative finger.  "You knew, didn't
you?"

     "Yes."  Was all Dave said.

     "Then why didn't you tell me?"

     "Because it's not my duty to, Ken, you know that.  You have been an
insensitive boor sometimes, you know that?  And at the moment is a
perfect example.  Your lover for over a century and a half is pining
away because something is missing from her life, something she doesn't
think she can have, something I'm not sure she can have."

     "And why not?"

     "Because she loves you.  Because she wants to stay in your bed all
the days of her life, but you have your positions and your opinions and
she doesn't think you'll let her have both.  You have a rule that you
yourself will never have children, because one viviparous child of your
own would incur the jealously of all the vitroparous children you
already have.  Never mind that I think we're all a little more mature
than that.  But I think you can be a stepfather; I think the years have
mellowed you to at least that point, Ken, and I want you to admit it to
yourself.  Promise me that you will speak with P'nyssa tomorrow."

     I thought about it.  It was a big change.  I knew for fact that
P'nyssa had TNP in her blood and couldn't get pregnant without a
counter-programmed TNP-CF injection.  But I could get my hands on that
stuff with little or no problem.

     I wandered back to the portal down to the bedroom.  I was actually
feeling tired.  "Okay, Dave, I promise.  Goodnight, please?"

     "Goodnight, Ken."  The field dropped.  I leapt into the portal and
fell slowly down the hole into my bedroom.  P'nyssa stirred a little as
I pulled the covers over myself and went to sleep.


     The next day I arose well before P'nyssa, who was still a touch
warm, and walked out of my domicile into the castle hallway.
Maneuvering around the corner and past Dave's installation, I greeted
everybody with a mute "G'morning" as I walked past the open meeting hall
where four children played some game that only children understand and
their parents watched quietly and patiently.  I watched the scene for a
few minutes when Ember, who turned out to be one of the parents, hailed
me over.  I waved and said "Too busy, gotta be on my way."  She nodded
and I retreated over to the indoor stepping disk.  Don't use them much,
mostly because I like the ritual of walking upstairs and then falling to
the ring floor to use the one down by the lagoon;  but not in this cold
when even the river was frozen.  It was record cold out, the kind of
cold that occurs only once ever thirty years or so, and I decided it was
time to go to someplace else, where it might be warmer.

     I laughed when I thought of that.  I wasn't going anyplace warmer;
I was going to Cutter's, which is situated right on top of a heat vane
on the outer edge of the delineated Ring; it's the equivalent of an
arctic environment, complete with polar bears descended more from a
rodent group than the original weasel group.  Oh, there are weasel based
polar large types, but they're in a different ecocenter.  I stepped onto
the disk.

     And found myself in the large pentagonal room on the far edge,
under "visitors"  The other disks were reserved for "staff," and
"emergency-1 and 2," and "residential."  I noticed that there was nobody
else in the area, so I wandered down the hallway towards what I knew was
the pharmacy.  Nobody stopped me; nobody questioned my right to be
there.  After all, if I was their gengineer, I had damn well better know
what I was doing, right?  I walked into the pharmacy and asked the
Tindal who asked me if I need help where I could find the compound in
question.  He looked at me rather quizzically, but did indeed hand over
my request, plus an applicator.  I thanked him and wandered back towards
the stepping disk.  When I reached a hallway that was deserted Jean's
voice interrupted my musings again.  "So you're going to do it, huh?"

     "Well, I'm going to take the first two steps, yes."

     "You break everything down into steps, don't you?"

     "Basically," I said with a smile.

     "Good luck, Ken."

     "Thanks, Jean."  I reached the SDisk room and returned home.  I
walked back to the commons and found Ember sitting with her four-year-
old, M'Jahrl, who was fidgeting impatiently.  "Hi."

     "Hello, Father," she said quietly.  The child growled a similar
greeting in Felinz.  I smiled and growled back at him.  He seemed
pleased with that.

     "Can I ask you a question, Ember?"

     "Sure," she said with conviction.

     "What's it like to have a kid in the house?"

     "What do you mean?"

     "I mean, starting from the beginning, is it really worth the effort
it seems to be to actually have a child in the house?  To deal with the
feedings and the changings, and then the curiosity and the rivalries and
the fights and the growing up?"

     "You should know better than I do about that," she said.

     "But I don't.  Every one of you came out if the tank with a basic
set of programming and a mature body.  Not a child.  Not like your
little monster there."  The kid had managed to weasel his way out her
arms and was now careening around the commons with a small model
airplane.  "I know every one of you from the inside out, but I know
nothing about pre-adolescents."

     "What about Donna?"

     "Don't mention that, please?  Besides, I've helped, I've done my
fair share of sitting."

     "I don't know what to tell you.  I think it's worthwhile enough,
I've done it five times, which means I've wrapped up about fifty years
of my life in it.  Besides, who are you planning on having children
with?  I thought you'd decided not to do that sort of thing."

     "Not my decision this time, sweetheart.  P'nyssa's."

     Ember's eyes widened.  "She has three, doesn't she?"

     "You've met them all, I thought."

     She nodded.  "They're nice people.  Come to think of it, I've even
slept with Lisa."

     I smiled.  "Why does that not surprise me?"  I sighed and said
"Okay, thanks anyway."  I rose again.

     Jahrl had managed to disappear.  She shook her head and said "Well,
I don't really know what to say.  Except that you know I love you both,
and I hope everything good comes of this."

     "Make it a rumor, sweetheart."

     "You know I will," she said.  I leaned over and kissed her on the
muzzle.  She pulled me down and kissed me, her tongue meeting mine.
"Remember, I live just down the hallway."

     "I can't forget.  I see you everyday.  And sometimes I still have
to babysit Jahrl while you stay up all night with a sick AI."

     She smiled and said "See ya."

     "You too."


     P'nyssa was awake when I arrived home.  "Hi!" she said when I
walked in.

     I waved and smiled widely as I grabbed a cup of tea and sat down
with her at the table.  I pulled her close and nuzzled her.  She replied
warmly, but only half-heartedly, and I could tell she was still feeling
under the weather, not that the weather outside was all that pleasant.

     "I have something for you," I said.

     "What?" she asked.

     "Give me your ten."  She extended a tentacle across the table and I
ruffled some of the fur on the upper quarter to find the skin
underneath.  I reached into the jacket I wore and removed the injector.
I reached again for her when she pulled her ten back and said "What is
it?"

     "I'll let you know after I've put it in."

     "No.  I want to know now.  You know I don't want anything for my
cold; when I get a fever it burns itself out quicker if I don't take
anything."

     "Then this is fine for you."

     "What is it?" she demanded.

     "Nyss, you trust me, right?  This has nothing for your cold.  It
has nothing do with your fever.  Trust me?"

     She looked at me through questioning eyes, then extended her ten
again.  I quickly inserted the injector and squeezed.  There was a
momentary .paf. as the pressure pushed the fluid suspension into her
arm.  "Fine.  Now what was it?"

     "Tindal Nano-Proph Counter Factor."

     "WHAT !?"

     "TNP-CF" I repeated.

     "Why?"

     "Because last night I had a long conversation with an old friend
who made me realize that you haven't had a child in over a hundred and
fifty years, and apparently you've been talking at the hospital about
children.  Don't blame you, after all, you do work in pediatrics.  So?"

     "Ken, I don't want kids."

     "Don't you?"

     "I..."  She paused.  "I do.  But, what about you?"

     "What about me?  I can handle it.  Come on, I can do twenty years
standing on my head."

     "Can you?"

     "Sure I can.  That's not the problem."

     "Then what is a problem?" she asked.

     "Have you thought about an appropriate father?"

     "Waitaminute.  What about you?  Do you think you can handle having
children in this house?"

     "Sure.  We could open up the doors to your old apartment.  It's
basically unchanged in the past hundred years.  Wouldn't be surprised to
find cobwebs."

     Dave's voice came over the speaker.  "There are no cobwebs in the
room next door."  He sounded slightly miffed.

     "Oh well, blows that theory.  But seriously, we could open up the
doors and turn the room into a nursery.  It's not that bad."

     "You're really enthusiastic about this, aren't you?"

     "Yes!  Yes, let's do it."

     "It could take you out of all the things you like to do, you know.
Going to concerts, bars.  Having nights with other people, at least for
a while.  It could take up every last minute of your free time.  I hope
you don't have a project going at Alpha."

     "I don't.  P'nyssa, you and I both know that life is what happens
to you while you're making other plans.  Let's be serious about this."

     "I am being serious.  Very serious.  Are You Sure?"

     I stopped, and in a very quiet and sober voice I said "Yes."

     "Then I know who I want the father to be."

     "Who?"

     "D'israeli Mittleson."

     "Who is?"  The name was only vaguely familiar.

     "He was a fellow student back when I was studying my psionics."

     "Not a father of your other three, was he?"

     "No, no.  Why?"

     "Don't you think you might want to call your children and tell them
their going to be sisters, again?"

     P'nyssa paused for a second and said, "After the test proves
positive."

     "Deal."

--
"P'nyssa's Child, Conception"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., And Related Tales
are (c) 1989, 1990 Elf Matheiu Sternberg.  May be freely distributed by
cybernetic media; hardcopies are limited to single printings for
personal use.