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-
- @ DEVIL IN THE TREE
-
- # By Andrew Campbell 1994.
-
-
- God damn you, God.
- I almost found your secret, so I did. Well at least now I know you
- really do watch over this brutal, dying planet with cold unemotional
- eyes. You were scared of me before the Devil in the Tree. Yes you were
- and don't you ever try to deny it!
- To the people of this world I'm just a filthy, worthless old man who
- endlessly mutters nonesense to himself. I used to find people like
- that fascinating when I was a child, you know. Strange how the wheel
- of time turns.
- A genious of eighty tampering with technology - that's what I was
- before you pulled the plug. I remember what this tiny house looked
- like from outside when viewed from the bottom of the hill... such a
- peaceful, lonely place, isolated from all life apart from that cursed,
- leafless tree. I hope the bastard that planted it was banished to the
- place I'm going.
- I've spent years of solitude in here, tapping keyboards and twisting
- wires. I used to have school kids peeping in through my murky windows,
- pointing and whispering to one another. A quick glimpse of my face and
- they'd scatter like tadpoles, mischievous little shits.
- The day I almost cracked you isn't very long since, you know that
- don't you? I entered the final piece of data into my machine and
- waited... waited for it to give me the answer to the ultimate
- question.
- I'd given it all the information it could ever need; Bibles of every
- language and religion, maps of the Holy Land, even a list of chemical
- components supposedly found in Christ's robe. Took the heap of rubbish
- about three and a half hours to come to a conclusion.
- But when it did... well, you didn't like that did you God?
- `ENTER CURRENT TIME IN HOLY LAND>' is what the stupid machine wanted
- when the screen finally popped up. Of all the things in the world! I
- searched the house for a decent watch that might do the trick but of
- course - Sod's Law - I couldn't find one, so I grabbed my coat, my
- scarf, ran to the front door, opened it there he was sitting in my
- tree - the Devil.
- The ugly little bugger saw me instantly, shifted on his arse and gave
- me a dog-like growl. Crystal-green eyes the son of a bitch had, like
- emeralds glinting in the sun, and a black, dagger-shaped tongue that
- split into three parts at the end. The bugger's skin was light brown
- and spotted and he had this weird, spiky tail with what looked like a
- thick ball of skin on the end.
- "Uuuh!" I gasped and slammed the front door closed again. The Devil
- gave me another muffled bark, this time I heard branches snapping too.
- I secured my lock without hesitation.
- You managed to scare the willies out of me God, I don't mind
- admitting that, but at least I knew I was on the brink of discovering
- who or what you are. I dashed back into the livingroom, collapsed in
- front of my monitor screen and stared at those words: `ENTER CURRENT
- TIME IN THE HOLY LAND>'.
- What did the current time have to do with anything? I pondered for a
- few moments before keying in a question mark. The machine didn't like
- that; it spewed out all these weird numbers and symbols... even the
- back of the monitor started to smoke! I thought I'd gone and knackered
- everything up when all of a sudden, out it came- the answer to God and
- His meaning.
- `THE HUMAN MIND CANNOT ACCEPT MEANINGLESSNESS OF EXISTENCE-' was all
- I managed to read before the livingroom window exploded and in leapt
- the Devil; radiating eyes now red, skin now shining with diamond-like
- fragments of glass.
- Demonic bastard didn't come for me - he went straight for my machine.
- I tried my best to defend it but my bones just weren't strong enough;
- the horrible creature punched it's fist through my monitor screen,
- ripped out a handful of wires and slashed me across the face with
- them. I keeled over, shrieking with pain and anger.
- The next thing I saw was the shape of the Devil carrying the remains
- of my demolished invention - piece by piece - out of the broken
- window. He ran in and out of the house time and time again, grunting
- with effort and hissing my name under his breath.
- When he'd taken all the bits outside I heard a scuttling noise and
- some more tree-branches snapping. Using what little energy I had left,
- I crawled along the carpet, staggered upto the window and poked my
- bleeding head out.
- "Ahaaah!" the Devil shrieked from up in the tree and threw a huge,
- sharp circuit board in my direction. I ducked my head away just in
- time - the lethal piece of debre bounced off the windowsil.
- And that's what's been happening ever since Monday, God old chum. I
- try to leave the house but the Devil always stops me. Each time I make
- an attempt to escape - day or night - he plucks off a fragment of my
- own invention and sends it spinning towards me.
- If I can survive the next three days without food, I think I'll have
- enough parts to make the machine again. This next one's going to be
- the up-market model, you know. A portable laptop.
- But somehow I don't think any machine could tell me more than I've
- learnt from your Devil, oh Lord. You're afraid of me escaping this
- dark prison that was once my home aren't you? I hold the sanity of the
- world in my hands. If they all knew what you were really like what
- would happen to the human race? Huh?
- Well don't worry, God - your secret is safe with me. I guess I'd
- better get used to that ugly little bugger outside in the tree because
- where I'm going there'll be a whole lot more just like
- him right?
- Yeah, I guessed as much.
- God damn you God.
-
-