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MONICA.DOC
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1993-04-05
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072010303050000144002006006010000
11
2Page #1
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9[..◆◆◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110
ÇFrequentlyAskedQuestions
for
=Alt.Religion.Monica=
&
=Alt.Motd=
Ifyouhavequestionsand/oranswersthatseemsmoreappropriateforthis
FAQorwouldliketoimproveananswer,pleasesendaselfaddressede-
mailtoRachaelH.Seung(hseung@salsa.seas.upenn.edu).
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
TableofContents
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.WhoisMonicaandwhatarethepurposeofthesenewsgroups?
2.Howisalt.religion.monica&alt.motddifferentfrom
soc.culture.korean?
3.Whatisthemottoofalt.religion.monica?
4.Whatisthemottoofalt.motd?
5.Whatis"TheTenCommandmentsofMonica?"
6.Whatis"TheNineSuspicionsofMonica?"
7.Whatis"TheTwenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy"byMonica?
8.Whereistheessaycalled"ModernizedTraditionalWomen"byMonica?
9.WherecanIfindthefamouspoembyMonicaeveryoneistalking
about?
10.WherecanIfindthefamouspaintingbyMonicaeveryoneisbidding
on?
11.WhatisthedebutarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
12.WhatisthefarewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
13.WhatisthedejavuarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
14.Whatisthedejavu-farewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
15.HowdoImakeMonica-stylekimchee?
16.IsthereaftpsitethatcarriesMonicaGIFs?
17.HowdoIbecomethevictimofon-lineinterrogation?
18.Doessisterhoodexist?
19.MemorableQuotesbyMonica.
20.Unresolvedquestions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.WhoisMonicaandwhatarethepurposeofthesenewsgroups?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonicaMi-YeonChungistheVenusofsoc.culture.korean.Inlessthana
month,MonicahasbecomemorefamousandhasmorefollowersthanJesus,
Buddha,Marx,andothernet-godscombined.Evenafterherdepartureto
convent,herthreadandpopularityhasexponentiallygrowntothepoint
whereso-called"seriousdebates"havebecomevirtuallyimpossible.So
far,therearethreepeopleconfirmingherexistence,twoclaimingto
haverevealedtherealpersonbehindhermask,onesemi-disgustedthathe
hadtogiveupguitargroupforher,onetoofferpsychoanalysis,andone
whoisstaringatthephone24hoursaday.
alt.religion.monica&alt.motd("MonicaoftheDay")areradically
retro-postmodernisticnewsgroupsdevotedtodiscussingmoralityand
subliminalmessagesofMonicaChung,suchas:
-artofkimcheemaking
-developingattachmenttodogs
-howtosmiletheMonicaway
-undergroundpoemsandessaysbysubscribers
-locatingbagelstoresinKorea
-parallelparking
-howtokissyourmodemgoodnight
Ç-on-lineinterrogation,andmuchmuchmore!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.Howisalt.religion.monica&alt.motd
differentfromsoc.culture.korean?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
alt.religion.monica&alt.motdarenewsgroupsofandaboutMonicaforour
Monica.soc.culture.koreanisfordiscussingseriousissuesaboutKorea
andherculture.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.Whatisthemottoofalt.religion.monica?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
=Alt.Religion.Monica=
Luxurywithoutfear.Funwithoutsuspicion.
Relaxinapanic-freeatmosphere!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.Whatisthemottoofalt.motd?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
=Alt.Motd=
IsMonicadayahappyday?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.Whatis"TheTenCommandmentsofMonica?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.Smilingatstrangers.
2.GoingonagrouptourinHan-river.
3.Taking"reserve-seat-buses"whichareforyuppies.
4.VisitingApGuJungDong.
5.Criticizingthemenwholooklikenerds:theyarethepopularones
inKorea.
6.Datingawaiteroranyonewhoisnotacollegegrad.
7.Arguingwithguys(thisappliestoKorean-Americanmalesalso).
8.ThinkingaloudwhyalmostalltheKorean(andKr-Am)guyshave
intellectualcomplex(inferiorandsuperior).
9.Askingaguywhyhehastoaskhismotherfirst(alsoapplytoKr-
Am).
10.Developingattachmenttoadog.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.Whatis"TheNineSuspicionsofMonica?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(...withmyownfeelingsregardingthematter).
1.MonicaisasisterofBrianChung.
Highlylikely,butBrian'ssisterissupposedlysurvivinginSeoul
atthemoment.
2.MonicaisayoungersisterofTheresaChung.
Thisistrue!
3.MonicaisanewsistertoRachael--that'sME!
ÇJiralYeopChaKhiHaGoItNe...
4.MonicaisHyunsuk.
Hyunsukisamedicalengineer(read:hehasbetterthingstodo).
5.MonicaisRebecca'stwinsister.
Highlyunlikely,sincetheyhavedifferentsurname;butthenagain
Monicaisanadoptee.
6.Monicaisarealliveperson.
Thisisalsotrue!
7.Monicaisareallivepersonandafemale.
Thisistruth!
8.Monicaisa6thgenerationcomputerrivalingHAL.
HALisnotabra-burningfeminist.
9.Monicaispeble.
Mostprobable!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
7.Whatis"TheTwenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy"byMonica?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Twenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy"
(excerptfromMonica'slatestbestsellerbook,THEMONICA)
1.hewillfightforyourfreedom
2.hewilleatanything
3.whenhisfriendscomeover,yougettositwiththemanddrink
4.hewillpiercehisearifyouask
5.heneversays"thereisnointellectualequalforme"
6.whenhisparentsvisit,theybookthemselvesinahotel
7.heneversays"Icouldhityou...butwillrefrain"
8.henevergetsdrunkandsleepsinthestreet
9.hedoesn'tlistentoKennyG
10.henevereatsfastnorstuffshimself
11.heneversays"bringmeacupofwater"
12.hedoesn'tcallanelectricianwhenchanginglightbulbs
13.heneversays"see,that'swhyKoreanscan't..."
14.hemakeskimcheewithyou
15.heishopelesslyromantic
16.helikesyourpunkandgayfriends
17.hewillnotshavehisdaughter'shairandlockherup
18.healwaysstopstoaskfordirectionwhenlost
19.hehasadifferentpoliticalviewthanhisfather
20.heneverstartsasentencewith"Iusedtobe..."
21.hewillnotdieearlyofheartattack,liverdiseasestomachcancer,
lungcancer,highbloodpressure,ordiabetes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
8.Whereistheessaycalled"ModernizedTraditionalWomen"byMonica?
Ç-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ModernizedTraditionalWomen"
(excerptfromMonica'slatestbestsellerbook,THEMONICA)
Itisonethingtorecognizethebeautyintraditionalasianwomenrole
buttodemandthiskindroletowomenoftodayisanotherstory.Of
courseyoudon'twantawomantowalkthreestepsbehindyou,Youwant
'modernizedtraditionalwomen".Whatexactlydoyoumeanbythis?Do
youmeanacollegeeducatedwomanwhostayshomebyherownchoice,who
doesn'traisehervoiceinfrontofyoubutsilentlyenduresandsupports
youwithstrengthofher'mind',whoisintelligentenoughtoread
"LittlePrince",yetnottoointelligenttobeathreattoyou?
IfyoutalktoKoreangrandmotherswhowentthroughusualsuffering
andsacrificeofhertime,youwillfindthattheydonotreveretheir
pastwithkindofsentimentyouhave.Theywishthatforonce,they
couldyellattheirhusbandswhomtheysacrificedwithoutmuchreward.
Theywishtheyhadcareerstofulfilltheirdreamsbesidesthe
pulchritudeandnoblenessofhomemakingandchildrearing.
Ifyourstatement,'womenwhocomplainsomuchaboutmalechauvinism
aretheoneswhoarenotsecurethemselves"iscorrect,thenIguesssame
goesformenwhocomplainaboutcareerwomen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
9.WherecanIfindthefamouspoembyMonicaeveryoneistalkingabout?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hereisapersonalcopyobtainedthroughundergrounde-mail.
"kkeubung-i"
kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou?
inafullmoonnight,youusedtohide
behindtheinnocenttree,
"theycallmeasonofthecollaborator"
andyouweptsobitterly
myheartwaswithyou
kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou?
inyouragonyofsleeplessnight
yourfaceshylyburiedbetweenfragileshoulders
"mom,mom,Iamnotapseudointellectual,amI,mom?"
andyourhandsomefaceglistenedwithtears
myheartwaswithyou
kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou?
inmistofautumnalwind
yourclinchedhandsholdingthefateofthenation
"Imustgo,Imustgo!"
andyoureyessoaredhigh
myheartwaswithyou
kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
10.WherecanIfindthefamouspaintingbyMonica
everyoneisbiddingon?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note:Thefollowingpaintingisnotforauction.
Ç
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11.WhatisthedebutarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Article10590ofsoc.culture.korean:
From:mchung@waltz.seas.upenn.edu(MonicaMi-YeonChung)
Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean
Subject:Re:anarticleonKoreanbornadoptees
Message-ID:<100482@netnews.upenn.edu>
Date:4Dec9208:34:58GMT
References:<1992Dec2.153530.20623@udel.edu>
Distribution:na
Organization:UniversityofPennsylvania
Lines:21
Inarticle<1992Dec2.153530.20623@udel.edu>shin@krusty.ee.udel.edu
(Jeong-GyunShin)writes:
>Netters(ladies?)whoreadMcCallsmagazineknowitalready.Iwas
>flippingthrucookierecipesofDecemberissueofMcCallsmagazine
>(don'taskwhy;also,no,Idon'tsubscribenorreadthismagazine;my
>wifegotonefromafriend),andthere'sanarticleaboutKoreanborn
>adopteesgoingtovisitKoreainordertotrytofindoutlittlebitof
>theirheritage,etc.Nothingnew,butgivessomeflashesonmaking
>tragedy.
Iguessyou,ormajorityofKoreansthinkitastragedy.Idoadmitthat
Iwishedmyrealparentswereabletobringmeup.ButIamquitehappy
asIam.Yes,I'vebeenadoptedtoanAmericanfamilywhenIwas10,and
onlyrecentlyIchangedmynametomyoriginallastname.Itisn'tsuch
atragedyifyouthinkintermsofpeoplewhoareinvolvedalthough
koreannewspapersandmediaonlyproducethesadanduglystoriesofsuch
cases.Idon'tdenythatsuchcasesexistinlargenumbers,butthereis
alsoacaselikeme.
ThewayKoreansocietyis,itwillbehardtochangethestigma
attachedbehindadoption.Butitwillchangewithtime,Ihope.
Mi-Yeon
Ç
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
12.WhatisthefarewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Article12634ofsoc.culture.korean:
From:mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu(MonicaMi-YeonChung)
Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean
Subject:Farewell...
Message-ID:<9302240502.AA07990@eniac.seas.upenn.edu>
Date:24Feb9305:03:09GMT
Organization:UniversityofPennsylvania
Lines:23
Dearobbadlinsck
YouprobablywonderedwhyIpostedsomanyarticlesthesedays.It's
becauseIamleavingsoon.Todayismylastdayasanormalfreeperson.
IhavetogobacktomyconventwhereIspentmorethannineyearsall
together.IknowyoudonUtbelieveanyofthis,butIfeelcompelto
writeitherebecauseyouhavebeenoneofmyrareconnectiontothereal
world.Exceptmyearlychildhood,Iwasinandoutoftheconventdueto
myparent'swish.IknowmyarticleswerenUtnun-like,thatUsbecauseI
amnotaofficialnunyet.Becominganunisalongordeal.Ifinally
decidedtobeanunaboutsevenmonthagoandstillhaveayeartogo
untiltheofficialceremony.FromnowonIwouldn'tbeabletocomeout
andliveinthesocietyaasIfrequentlydidbeforetimetotime.So,
hereismyfarewelltoyou,obbadl.
IwouldliketoapologizetoBrianChungforbeingaccusedofmyobba
frommanypeople.Brian,Iwishyouaremyobbawhodefendsmeinevery
corner.
AndrewS.H.Kim,Thankyouforallyourromance:)Youshoulddelete
allyourmiddlenamesandjustuseTannhauser.Itfitsyou.
IalsoliketothankByuntaeandYoungwhanLeefortoleratingme.
JCHOobba,thankyouforclarifyingmyexistence.
Also,Thankyou,KevinGIORforsharingyourHanSeukBongcomplex.
IameternallygratefultoJamesChoiforbelievinginme.
Thankyou,allsckkkeubung-is:),youmademylastvisittothe
worldenjoyable.Thankyou,obbadlandsomeajeu-cidl.
Goodbyeeveryone.
MonicaMi-YeonChung
P.S.Iwouldn'tbeabletoreadanyemails,sopleasejustpostinsck.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
13.WhatisthedejavuarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Article13426ofsoc.culture.korean:
From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung)
Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean
Subject:HelloEveryone!!!
Message-ID:<199303160735.AA20151@bolero.rahul.net>
Date:16Mar9307:35:43GMT
Sender:daemon@cs.utexas.edu
Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary/Brington/MA
Lines:31
DearKkeubung-is
ÇHello,obba-dle,Iamsogladtobeback!Howiseveryone?!!Itispass
midnightandeveryoneisasleep.Thepeopledoesn'tlikemehere
already.Iamtheonlyonewhoisunderfortyexceptthisonenunand
thekitchenhelper,"Lily".It'saverysmalloldconventwiththe
nearestneighborbeingtenmilesaway.Iamnotusetothiskindof
settings.AllotherconventsIhavebeentowererelativelymodernized
ones.ButIgettogotothetowneveryFridaymorningwithFather
Josephwhovisitshereonweekendtorunerrands.LastFriday,wewent
tothelibrary,andbychanceIfoundtheinformationonthisunixsite.
Needlesstosay,Iwasjubilant.NobodyknowsthatIamusingitthough.
SisterJspottedmymodemandaskedmewhatitwas.Itoldherit'sa
machinethatdetectsanyvirusinthecomputer.Shejustsaid,"virus?
oh,thatmustbeveryuseful."Theywereatfirstveryagainstmehaving
thecomputerinmyroomoranywhereintheconventandtriedtotake
awayfrommebutIjusthangedontoitdearlyandcried.AfterItyped
uptheweeklyinvoiceforSisterJ,nobodysaidanythinganymore.
Thisplaceissobackward.Iamalwaysgroundedforunknownreasons.
Theymakemescrubthefloor.It'saconcretefloorwithroughsurface
andIamsupposetokneeldowntocleanit.Afterhoursofthisordeal,
mykneesareswollenandpainfullyhurt.Myonlyfriend"Lily",the
kitchenhelper,bringsmethesteamedeucliptictowelformyknees.She
hasasweetpudgyfacewithashorthair.Icallher"artichoke."
Sothisismylife....youaremyonlyconnectiontotheouterworld.
Howisitoutthere?
MonicaMi-YeonChung
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
14.Whatisthedejavu-farewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Article14014ofsoc.culture.korean:
From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung)
Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean
Subject:Invitation
Message-ID:<199303252215.AA15873@bolero.rahul.net>
Date:25Mar9322:15:23GMT
Sender:daemon@cs.utexas.edu
Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary/Brighton/MA
Lines:24
SocialCultureKoreanisforhealthyintelligentcommunication.Irealize
andrepentthatmostofmyarticlesdon'tfitinhere.Isincerely
apologizetoeveryoneforbeinganirritantthatjustkeepcomingback.I
alsoliketoapologizetoanyonewhowasoffendedbymyarticles.
ThereforeIretractmystepsfromscktotheplaygroundsomesympathetic
soulsprovided.Iamsubmittingmyinvitation.
~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~
Haveyouevergotcaughtstealingcartoonbooks?Haveyourbrother
toldyouthatyouare"someloathsomeverminfitonlyforextermination"?
Wereyouallergictoyourmother'smilk?Wasyourveryfirstword,"no"?
Doesyoursisterpretendshedoesntknowyouwhensheiswithher
friends?Yourparentsmovedtwoyearsagoandyouarestillsearching
fortheiraddress?Doesyourfriendshushwhenyoupassby?Havesome
strangeradvicedyoutoletouthemsofyourjeans?Doesyourcommunist
friendcriticizeyourGeorgioArmanisuit?Didyourtherapisttellyouto
nevercomeback?Yourpriestbrokethevowofconfessionandtoldthe
police?
IcordiallyinvitealltheMe!stoalt.religion.monicatobenonethe
Çlessthanyourselvesandselvestosharetheexperienceofhypereality,
toregresstothecomfortoffetalposition,tounpretentiouslywear
blackturtleneck,andtoobsessivelyloveeachother.
Ihumblyinviteyoutorestyourwherefulsoulsinpeacefula.r.m.
Submissivelyyours,
Monica
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
15.HowdoImakeMonica-stylekimchee?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thewordsspeakforthemselves...andMonicasez:
"Mostofthekimcheejarsstoredinrefrigeratorinstoresarefreshdue
topromptrefrigerationafterfillingthejar.Youneedtokeepthejar
inroomtemperatureforadayortwo(dependingontheroomtemperature
andyourtaste)forittoferment.Keepinmindthatyoushouldkeepthe
lidslightlyopenedwhenleavingitoutinroomtemperaturebecauseif
youdon'tthenkimchee-gookmulwillshootoutonyouwhenyouopenita
dayortwolaterduetopressurecreatedbycarbondioxideproduction
duringfermentationofkimchee.
"Kimcheeunderrefrigerationundergoesfermentationveryslowly,so
youneednotworryaboutover-fermentedkimcheewhenyouarebuyingfrom
thekoreanstores.Yah,IamsureWoodyonceboughtaoverfermented
kimcheefromthestoreandhehadtogiveitalltohiscowor
something...Butnormally,youwouldgetafreshjarandonemustleave
itoutinroomtemperature.:)"
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16.IsthereaftpsitethatcarriesMonicaGIFs?
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*CENSORED*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
17.HowdoIbecomethevictimofon-lineinterrogation?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.Mentioningnetiquette.
2.Cross-postingtosoc.culture.korean.
3.Talkingaboutcows.
4.Dotforwardhacking.
5.HarrasingMonicainprivate.
6.Claimingsenselessownership.
Thus,ourmotto(seequestion3).
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18.Doessisterhoodexist?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
TherehasbeenunconfirmedreportsthatsisterhoodexistamongMonica,
Rachael(akaHeja--that'sME!),Rebecca,andTheresa.Thisis
interestingnotonlybecausewehavesimilarout-spokenattitudeand
dwellonsimilartopicsbutbecausewearebothprettyandwitty(well,
atleastforme,thatis).Oh,howtrue!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
19.MemorableQuotesbyMonica.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"...pleasedon'tflameme."
"WhatdidIdo?"
"aimooseuwo......"
Ç"Goodthingtherewaskimchigookmulnearby."
"Nowondernoneofintelligentwomeneverpostinthisnewsgroup.
-thatis,exceptmyself."
"WhenIgrewlittleplumpinmyhighschoolyear,youaretheonewho
boughtthosedietpillsandmademeexercise."
"So,everyone,Iamalittleorphangirl."
"Iwillbewaiting,obba."
"canwejustgetalong?please?"
"IamMonicaMi-YeonChung.IamKoreanfemale.Iamhere."
"Ihaveaquestionthatwakesmeupmiddleofthenight."
"Youwillfindoutthat,afterall,Koreanmenarehumanstoo."
"Makepeacenotflames."
"Iampoorasachurchmouse.[Lulu]"
"Humblenessisthekeytosuccess."
"Ialwayswalkthreestepsbehindmenbuttheygetirritatedand
nervous."
"Happinesschasesafterme"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
20.Unresolvedquestions.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.WherecanIbuythebookcalledTHEMONICA?
2.Whatisthenameoftheboonshikjeom(fancyrestaurant)inNewYork
Monicaisrumoredtoreciteherpoetrynowandthen?
3.Wherezma'honey?!
4.Issheforreal?
5.DoesRebeccadreamofelectricshrimp?
--
RachaelHejaSeung**Keepreading.
hseung@salsa.seas.upenn.edu\|/\|/I'llbeposting.
éThebook"TheMonica"hasbeenmentionedalotinthisFAQfile,and
Moncaalsopostedafilewithsomereviewsofthisbook.Thepostingwas
asfollows...
Ç
Newsgroups:alt.motd,alt.religion.monica
From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung)
Subject:MyBook
Message-ID:<C4oIzB.B2I@rahul.net>
Sender:news@rahul.net(UsenetNews)
Nntp-Posting-Host:bolero
Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary
Date:Tue,30Mar199302:01:58GMT
Lines:32
Ipublishedacollectionofmypoemsandessaysnottoolongago,soif
youareinterested,youmayfindthecopyinthebookstores.Thebook
receivedravereviews,suchas:
"Whatwehaveisastonishing:thepoemsburnbrighterthanever,and
strikedeeper."
-WalterClemons,Newsweek
"MonicaChungisnotjustthebest"womanpoet"ofourtime...sheisa
genius."
-AlfredKazin,TheNewYorkTimesBookReview
"Idon'tthinkofEmilyDickinson,orKatherineAnnePorter,or
Sartre,butratherofsomeonelikeSophocles...Iwritehernamewith
Çhonor,forallthetruthandallthecraftwithwhichsheshowsman's
fallanddishonor."
-RichardFreeman,BookWorld
"NotsinceYoonDongJu,therewasapoetlikeMi-YeonChung,her
sensitivityandthedeptharedisturbing."
-KoreanTimes
"Herbeautyisenchanting..."
-AtlanticMonthly
"...exhilaratinganddark...quitestunning..."
-LosAngelesTimesBookReview
"alavishmeditation...Iamspeechless..."
-SanFranciscoChronicle
Well,therearelotmorebutIwillletyoufindout.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonicaMi-YeonChung|Happinesschasesafterme
--
MonicaMi-YeonChung<mchung@rahul.net>