Crawly Crypt Collection 1/crawlyvol1.bin/magazine/scriba/scriba12/data.bin/UMBRELLA.DOC

Text File | 1992-07-27 | 18KB | 296 lines

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äAttimes,Iwaswondering,wasitjustadream,orwasitreality?Butas
myluckwasrunningout,anditallcrushedmelikeanightmare,Iknew
ithadtobereality.Still,Ihadthedreamofmylife.
(G.E.A.11.5.92)
Ç
üKevin'smagicalumbrella
ÇbyGardEggesbøAbrahamsen
DedicatedtoIrenVølen
poemfromthecollection"Underbananskallet"
byGardEggesbøAbrahamsen

Kevinwasstaringstraightintothefallingbigblobsofrainoutside.It
wasalwaysraining.Therewasnothingbutraininhismind,thedark
cloudsinthesky,shadowssweepingoverthegreygravelthatmadeout
theroadsaround,andbigblobsofrain.
   Itwasjustgravel.Longstretchesofflat,dirty,unmadegravelled
road.Wetoftherainthatwasfallingcontinuously,cruellydiggingout
poolsofwaterinit.
   ToKevin,itwasjustanotherrerunofyesterday,whichwasarerunof
thedaybeforeyesterday.Everydaywasjustlikethepreviousone,with
onlyanunnoticablyminutevariation.Andhehadbeenbornonthefirst
ofthesedays.
   Itwasrainingheavilywhenhewasbaptized.Itwasrainingheavily
whenhestartedhiscareeratschool.Itwasstillrainingwhenhe
confirmedhischristianbelieves.
   Hewasnochristian.Itwasjustsomethinghehadtodotobe
accepted,hefelt.Butstillhewasn'taccepted.Hecouldjustaswell
forgettherest,hisowncompanyseemedtobetheonlycompanyhewould
getforawhile.
   Soakingwet,hewasdeterminedtobuyanumbrella.

   "Kev',love,"Itwasthesharpsoundofafamiliarvoicethatbroke
theintensetricklingnoiseofthethickwaterblobs."Kev,"she
repeated.Hehadneverbeenveryclosetohismother.Theywerejust
livinginthesamehouseandbumpedintoeachothernowandthenbypure
accident."Kev,couldyoupleaseemptythedishwasher?"
   "Surething,mum."
   Hewalkedsilentlyovertothedishwasher,openeditandstarted
doingwhathismumhadtoldhimtodo.Healwaysdidwhathismothertold
himtodo.Evenhisexternalpersonalitywasareflectionofhis
mother's.
   Hefeltlonely.Theonlycompanyhehadwastherain,butsincethe
rainalwayshadbeenthere,hehadalreadyignoreditanddefineditasa
factoflife,anexpressionasthefunctionoftime;Itisrainingall
thetime.
   Rainmadehimwet.Eventhoughhewasbornintherainandhad
experiencednothingbutrain,hehatedrain.Sohelovedtogooutinthe
rainandlookattheumbrellasintheshops.
   Therewereallkindsofumbrellastochoosefrom.Bigumbrellas,small
umbrellas,thinumbrellas,thickumbrellas.Hecouldbuygreen,red,
yellowandblueumbrellas.Therewereumbrellaswithpicturesof
Schwartzenegger,Guns'n'Rosesandevennudefemales.Buttheyallhadone
thingincommon.Thepricewasfartoomuchforalittleboywhonever
hadhadanypocketmoneyinhislife.
   Ittookhimagestosavethemoneyheneeded,andhehadalreadydone
hischoice.Itwouldbethewhiteonewithheartsspreadalloveritlike
flowersinthefield.
   Hecouldn'tstandstillwhenhegotintotheshopandwaitedforhis
turn.Itwasalongqueueofpeoplebuyingumbrellastoprotectthemfrom
therainorjusttoletotherpeopleseethattheytoohadanumbrella.
ÇTheumbrellaswerejustlikeastatussymbol,astheywereacomplete
wasteofmoneyandutterlyuselesssinceyouwouldgetwetanyway.And
nowitwasKevin'sturntobuyanumbrella.
   Painspreadthroughhistinybodywhenanassholepushedhimoutof
thequeue."I'dlikethewhiteonewithheartsspreadalloverit,
please..."hesaidcalmlytotheshopassistantwhilsthisfistswere
tightening,readytocrushtheflowersthatwouldspringoutfromthe
fieldandshinethoughthesummer.
   "But..."Kevintried,butwasinterruptedbythebrutalbehaviourof
themanwhohadjustboughtKevin'sumbrella.Angerwasboilinginhis
veins,hisbrainwasboilingindisgust.Heknockedonhischest,
growling,buttheonlynoticeablesoundswerethesickhitsathissoft
heartandamuffledmoan.

"Haveyoufinished,Kev'?"Thesuddeninterruptionfromhismotherwoke
himup.Therewasastrangesensationthroughhishandsandarmsashe
felthowhisfistsweretightened.
   "Fuckyou,"hemumbledback.
   "Whatdidyousay,dear?"
   Hecalmeddown,knowinghismotherwasinnocentinthismatter."I
saidIwasjustaboutfinished,mum!"
   Hiseyesaccidentallylookedathisownreflectioninthewindow.It
wasafrozenlook,asoftlook,mumblingsomethingtohim.Healmostsaid
"Hi,mum,whatareyoudoinginmyownreflection?"Butthesmileonhis
facewasmissing,gonewiththewetwind,filledwiththebigblobsof
icedwaterthatwerepushinghimtotheground.
   "Good.Andrememberthatyou'regoingtothehairdressertomorrow,
Kev'!"
   "No,mum.I'mnotgoingtothehairdressertomorrow."
   "Kev...!"
   "Idon'twantshorthair.I'msickofshorthair.Shorthairmakesme
puke.There'snonightmareworsethanhavingshorthair.Shorthairisa
misunderstandingofthesickprospectsofanirresponsiblesociety.The
societywantsustohaveshorthairjustsothatwefeelthatthereisa
partmissingofusratherthanthefactthatthere'ssomethingterribly
wrongwithsociety,andthereissomethingmissingwithsociety,because
thehairismissingfromthemalepopulationofsociety,andit
shouldn't,andIwantthewholeofme,myentity.I'mnothereifmy
hair'snothere,andIwanttobeherewithmyhairratherthannotbeing
hereatallorjustbeingpartlywithouthavingtheabilitytobehere
withmelikethestupidmotherfuckerswhowalkalongthefuckingflat
streetsofthistowngettingsoakedbytherain.Doyouhearme?I'mnot
gettingmyhaircuttomorrow!"
   Kev'smothertookastepback,wonderingwhathadhappenedtoher
nice,cuddlyreflectionofherself.Washereallyspitting"intellectual"
thoughtsbacktoher?Hadhebeenseeingtoolittletelevisionlately?
   "Kevin,"shetried."Yourhairisfineshort.Don'tletitberuined
bysillythoughtsthatsurelymustcomefromthecomputer.Don'tletthe
computerruleyourlife."

Kevinwasacomputerfreak.Throughoutthenights,whenitwasdark
outsideandhisparentswereasleep,hewassittingup,creatingthemost
extraordinarythingsbytappinghisfingersonthesmallkeyboardofthe
littlesquareboxhecalledhiscomputer.
   Hisparentsneverknewwhathemade.Theyneversawtheraindropsthat
fellsmoothlydownthescreen,thebiglettersthatwerejumpingaround
onthescreenratherthangoinginastraightline,thehillsand
mountainsfromaplacethatwasn'tflat.Littledidtheyknowthatthis
washishopeforthefuture.Lessdidtheyknowthattheirtalkingabout
himspendingtoomuchtimeonthecomputerhurthim,aswhathedidwas
Çtryingtofindhimself,findingoutwhowashidingbehindwhatwasknown
asthereflectionofhismother.
   Hehatedrain,anditwasalwaysraining.Hedidn'twanttoget
soaked,sohedidn'twanttogoout,butbecauseofhismother,hehadto
gooutnowandthen.Ofcoursehehadtogoout.
   Kevindidn'tknowwhyhedidit.Hejustdiditeverytimehismother
threwhimoutofthehouse.Whiletheotherswould'vegonetopubsor
videoarcades,hestayedoutintherain.Perhapsitwastheviolentroar
ofthewaterrushingbyhelikedsomuch,hejustcouldn'ttell.
   Theeyeswerestaringintotheboilingriver.Theycouldseethe
brokenreflectionsofKevin'sfacebeingcrushedbythequitesquare
environment.Violentlytheimagewascrushedintoasmallballthat
hardlycouldbeseenwiththenakedeye,beforeitexplodedintoacloud
ofwhitedots,flowingontheriver.Cream.
   Hegotbacktotheshopandlookedattheumbrellas.Hereallyneeded
one.Therewasasqueekashepushedopenthedoor.Itwasasqueekthat
remindedhimoftheoldpairofscissorsthehairdresserlikedtocut
hishairwith.Old,rustyscissorsthatalwayswouldcutsomethingwrong,
butstillhewasassuredofhowgoodtheywere.
   Abellrangasthedoorsilentlyclosedbehindthetinyfigure.Water
wasfallingdownfromthewetclothes,formingapoolonthewoodenfloor
thatclearlyhadbeentroddenonbymuddyfeetmostoftheday.
   Thewomanbehindthecounterlookedathimandtriedtosmile."I've
gotsomethingforyou,boy,"shesaidcalmly."Raincoatsofallsizes."
   "Idon'twantaraincoat,"Kevwhispered.
   "What?"
   "Idon'twantaraincoat,Iwantanumbrella!"
   "But...what'sthedifference?Theykeepyoudry,don'tthey?"
   "Freedomisthedifference,"hesaidwithdeterminationinhisvoice.
   "Freedom,huh?Well,I'msorry,butthewhiteumbrellaswithred
heartsspreadoveritisoutofstock,andwearen'tgoingtoorderany
others,either."
   "Thenwhatabouttheblueonewithstarsandmoons?"Hecouldremember
themagichehadfeltwhenhefirstsawthatumbrella.Anirresistible
magicthatcouldoverwhelmanyone.Theperfectumbrellawithashapethat
wouldmakeallotherumbrellaslooksilly.Unfortunately,hehadn'tseen
itintheshop,butsomeoneelsehadusedit.
   "Sorry,nope,thatonewasimportedfromJapan,"Thewomanyawned.The
conversationwasextremelyboringforher,andshe'drathergoandwatch
TV."Listen,boy,ifyoudon'twantanyoftheseumbrellas,thenyou
won'thaveany,becausetherearenootherumbrellastobuy,"
   Kevinstaredintohereyes."Yes,thereare,"hesaid,turnroundand
headedforthedoor."Watchme,"Thebellsoundedasthedoorclosed
behindhim.

Therewasnoendoftheinfinitenoiseinhisroomasanotherstackof
paperandbooksfelldown,buthedidn'tmind.Themainthingwasthat
thecomputerstillwasinonepiece,andthathemanagedtofindwhathe
neededofinformationfromthematerialonthefloor.
   Hisfingersranswiftlyfromkeytokeywithimpressivespeedand
accuracy.Agreenishlightradiatedfromthemonitor,revealingtheimage
oflettersandindefinablesymbolsthatonlythededicatedprogrammer
wouldunderstand.Theyweremeansofcommunication.Communicationbetween
Kevinandthecomputer.Ofallmonitorsthateverwouldglow,thisone
wasglowingforKevin.Notexactlyromantic,butstill,itwasbetter
thannothing.
   Withafewtoucheshelettheimagefadeawaybeforeheturnedoffthe
computer.Hesighed.Oneofhisdrawerswasopen,andinit,anamountof
moneywiththesamegreenishcolourashismonitorwasshininginthe
brightlightfromthebulbintheroof.Itcouldbetouched,felt,asif
Çitwassomethingpreciousaboutit.Butstill,itwasn'tthemoneyitself
thatattractedhim,butwhathewoulddowithit.
   Thehandcarefullyclosedthedrawerandlockedit.Itwasn'tfor
today,butsoon.Thefeelingoffreedomclosinginwasalmostinhuman.
Timewasslow.

Hewasgettingwet,butitwasworthit.Anotherminute,andthebus
wouldcomeroundthecorner.Itwasjustintuitionthatmadehimmovehis
eyestoabsorbtheimageofthefemalewhowasstandingbyhisside.Her
curlyhair,halfwaycoveringsomeofherface.Hermouth,lovelylips,
kissable.Hereyes,shininglikemagicandwithlove,theyturnedtolook
athim.Hequicklylookedaway.
   Itwasn'tlikehimtodothesethings.Oratleasthewasn'texpected
to.Buthecouldn'tletitgoawayfromhimatonce.Still,heknewit
wasn'tforhim.Nothingwasforhim.Notthere.Ever.
   Witharapidmovement,heturnedandsurprisinglykissedher.Long.
Passionate.Thefeelingofliveelectricitymovedbetweenhislips.
Intense.Warm.Aglowofbluelight,hecouldalmostfeelitwithhis
tongue.Ablowkickedhimawayjustbeforethebusmagicallyappearedin
frontofthem.
   "IfonlyIcouldgetbacktoyou..."hewhisperedashegotontothe
bus,payedtheticketandsatdownonthefirstfreeseat.Thefemale
senthimwithanangrylookthroughthewindowandturnedaway.Hewas
thrownbackintheseatasthebusstarted,leavinghimstaringoutof
thewindowatthefemalethatjuststoodthereatthebusstop,making
himwonderwhy.
   Greenfields,filledwithflowersrushedtowardshimanddisappeared
behindhimlikeleavesinthewind.Therewerehundreds.Thousands.
Millions.Itwasjusttostretchthehandoutandpickoneifhewanted
one.Itwasfreeofcharge.

Thebusroaredawaybehindhim.Hebentdownandtouchedtheground.
Asphalt.Andwithafewhumpshereandtheretomakepeopleslowdown.
Thesunwasshining.Hefeltsomewhathappyaboutit.Eventheworst
thinkablemusicwouldmakehimdancenow.Hewasthere.Awayfromhome.
Awayfromhell.
   Foraminuteortwo,hejuststoodthere,lookingattheasphalt.
Carefullyhegotupandstudiedtheshophewasstandinginfrontof.He
touchedthewindowjusttomakesureitwasthere,smiled,puthishand
inthepocket.Itwassafe.Nothingcouldstophimfromstrollingdown
thestreet,hummingononeofhisfavouritetunes.
   Aflashingneonsigncaughthiseyeandmadehimstop.Heslowlyread
theletters,onebyone,justtomakesurehecouldbesureofwhatit
said.ThefirstonewasaD.ThenextonewasanI,followedbyanS.
ThentherewastheOjustafteraC.Hissmilegrew.
   Hejumpedinandrockedhisfeetonthedancefloor.Hisentirebody
followedon,keepingtherhythmthebesthecould.Onlythemostdivine
creatureonthisplanetcouldmakehimhappiernow,andshewasstanding
rightinfrontofhim.Hegrabbedher.Danced.Therhythmfilledhisbody
withsmoothmovements.Thegirlfilledhimwithhappinessandhope.The
knowledgeofhavingbeenright.
   Asthenightgrewdarker,heheldherclose,feelingeverybreath,
everyheartbeatassomethingsacred.Asifhislifedependedonher.
Close.Anassuringtouchthatmadehimfeelsafe.Hewouldspendtherest
ofthenightdancingwithherifitwasuptohim.
   Sheslowlymovedherhandfromthebackandshowedhimwhatshehad
beenhidingallthetime.Thefinestumbrellahehadseen."Takeit,"she
whisperedintohisear.Hervoicemadehimmelt,andhisheartembraced
themessage."It'sforyou.Justforyou."
   Theumbrellawaswhite,andhadredheartsspreadoveritlikeflowers
Çinthefieldatsummer.Andinbetween,moonsandstarswereglowinglike
magic.Andineachlittlestar,hecouldreadhisownname,astheywere
glowingforhim.Justforhim,andnobodyelseintheentireworld.
Kevin.Oneoffourbillionpeople.
   Helookedup,butthefemalehadvanished.Hesighedandleft.Ashe
gotout,itwasrainingagain.Thebuswaslate.Thewindwasblowing.
Theumbrellaopenedandlethimstandthere,lettingnodropofrain
through,fightingthewind,winningthebattle.Hehelditclosetohis
heart.
   Aquicklookatthelocalarcadeandhewasoff,back,home.Butwith
anumbrella.Anumbrellaevenbetterthantheonehewanted.Shiningon
himwithhopeandahumantouchhewouldn'tgetinhishometown.

Ittookhimseveralminutesjuststandingoutsidetheshopbeforehe
realizedhehadtogoin.No,hedidn'thavetoentertheshop.Notany
more.Hejustpoppedin.Lookedattheshopkeeper,staredherinthe
eyes.
   "Toldyouso,"hesaid,andleft,lettingthedoorslamshutbehind
himandthewomanstaringattheemptyairwhereKevinhadbeenstanding
justafewsecondsearlier."AllIhavetodoistoknowwhatIwantand
wheretogetit,"hewhispered.
   Thefootstepsfadedaway,andsoon,onlythebig,whiteumbrellacould
beseeninthehorizonasaglowingspotthatwasmovingawayforgood.A
pieceofthecitytearingitselfawayfromathingitdidn'twantany
partof,lettingitcrushitselfwithprimitivemachinery.Someday,it
wouldjustrainaway,anyway.

äEnfuglkvitrer               Abirdissinging
undertaket                   Undertheroof
Detervakkert                It'sbeautiful
Veldigvakkert                Verybeautiful
Såvakkertatjeg             SobeautifulthatI
drikkeroppcolaen            Drinkupthecola

Colaen,ja                    Thecola,yes
Colaen                        Thecola

Colaenliggertrygt           Thecolaislyingsafely
mellometparputer           Betweentwopillows
påsofaen                     Onthesofa

Sofenerikkemin             Thesofaisn'tmine
jegharikkekjøptden        Ihaven'tboughtit
ikkefåttden,heller         Noonegaveittome,either
fordenbarestårder         'cuzitjuststandsthere

Deterderfor                 That'swhy
fuglenkvitrer                Thebirdissinging
undertaket                   UndertheroofÇ