Crawly Crypt Collection 1/crawlyvol1.bin/magazine/scriba/scriba12/data.bin/SCHOOL.DOC

Text File | 1992-09-17 | 24KB | 369 lines

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üTheSchoolofLife!
éByKaiHolst!
Ç
Neishasighed.Alreadyonthebusonthewaytoschool,lifehadgiven
itsfirstsignofthedayofbeingagainsther.Justlikesheknewit
woulddo.Justlikeitalwaysdid.
   Thebustriptookameresevenminutes.Thosesevenminutesfeltlike
hoursforherbecauseofShannon.Shecouldn'tbelievethatsheoncehad
beeninlovewithhim.Hecontinuallypesteredherlifebypinchingher
orcallinghernames.Perhapssheshouldhavegivenapositivereplywhen
hehadaskedherforadatetwomonthsago?Hisfatherwas,afterall,
theownerofachainofgrocerystores,soShannoncouldaffordtobe
nastywithher.Andhehadbeenso,eversince.
   Neishasighedagain,justintimetofeelthepiercingpainfromthe
backofherheadasShannonpulledherhair.Alonelytearrolleddown
herbeautiful,yetthincheek.Oneday,shethoughtwhilefightingher
desiretohithim.Onedayhe'dregretbeingsounkindtoher.Oneday...
   NexttoherheartsheheldthelettertoJeremy.Shehadspentall
yesterdaywritingit.Withgracefullettersshehadwrittenhisnameand
addressontheenvelope,andsealeditwithakiss.Eventhestampswere
beautiful,withpicturesofbirdsandhearts.Sheknewhewouldwriteher
areplythedayhegotit,ashealwaysdid.Hehaddonesomorethana
dozentimessincehemovedtothesouthernpartofTennesseethreemonths
ago.Beforethattime,heandNeishahadbeengoingsteadyforhalfa
year,andtheybothintendedtheirrelationshiptolastlonger.Unless
deathdidthemapart.
   Neishawasinexperiencedandlonely.Allherlifeshehadclosed
herselfintoaworldonherown.Seemingly,nobodybutJeremyhadever
caredabouther,caredforher.Jeremyhimselfwasaveryspecialboy.He
hadbeenthemostpopularboyatschool,andallthegirlsinNeisha's
classhadbeentalkingabouthim.Onecouldnevertellbythelookonhis
facenorhisappearancethathedidn'thaveasinglefriend.Heknewhow
tohideit.Neishathoughtbackonthedayhehadaskedheroutforthe
firsttime.August19th,awarm,beautifulday.Thesunhadshonefroma
cloudlesssky,andhetookherwalkinginthepark.Neishalookedatthe
shiningringonherfinger.Jeremygaveittoherthatday.
   Aclaponhershouldermadeherwakeupfromherdaydreaming.Akind
facelookedather,smiling."Well?Areyoucomingornot?"Pagelooked
ather,andpointedtowardstheexit.Thebushadarrivedattheschool.
Pagelookedatherforafewseconds,turned,anddisappearedoutofthe
bus.
   Neishasighedagain,grabbedherbag,rosefromtheseatandwalked
withdeliberatelyslowstepsoutofthebus.Iftheridetoschoolwas
bad,schoolitselfwasatleasttentimesworse,withallthepotential
trapsshecouldfallinto,allthegangsshecoulddumpinto,andallthe
troublethatwasinevitablygoingtohither,nomatterhowmuchshe
triedtoprotectherselfagainstthem.Immediatelyafterleavingthebus,
shehadtofighttoregainbalanceassheslippedonthewetasphalt.
RainwasnotuncommonlateinMay,atleastnotinGreeneville,
Tennessee.Shecouldalmostheartheresoundinglaughterofallthekids
shethoughtwouldbearoundher.Nobodylaughed.Nobodywereevennear
her."Heck!",shethought."I'mlate.Again..."Neishabegantorun.
   Firstperiod:History!NeishaneverthoughtofHistoryasabad
subject;ShelikedMr.Soundham,theteacher.Sheeventookthechanceto
answersomeoftheteacher'squestions.Answeringquestionsusuallymeant
speakingoutloudinclass,andwhenshedidthat,sheasgoodasalways
madeafooloutofherself.Herheartbegantobeatquickerwhenshe
heardthesoundofherownvoice,butitcalmeddownagainwhenshesaw
Mr.Soundhamnodassuringatherandaskanotherquestion,thistime
victimizingThomas.Neishatookadeepbreathandsmiledconfidentlyto
Çherself.Therestoftheperiodwastheordinary,dullexerciseintrying
tolookbusytakingnotesofwhatMr.Soundhamsaid,whileactuallybeing
ahundredmilesaway.Neishasighedagain,andcontinuedscribbling
unreadablenotesonthepaper.Onlyonewordwaslegibleonthetwopages
ofscribbling-Itwaswrittenatleastadozentimes.Jeremy.Neisha
stillhadtheletternexttoherheart.Itprovidedtheonlywarmthin
herentireexistence.
   ShewasrunningtotheAuditoriumMaximumforherEnglishclass.It
wouldcommenceintwominutes,withorwithouther.Neishaknewthatit
wouldn'tlookgoodonherGraduationPapersifshedeliberatelyavoided
attendinganotherEnglishclass.Therewas,ofcourse,alsothe
possibilitythatshecouldhaveherhallpasswithdrawn.Thatwould
definitelynotlookgood.
   NeishashruggedandmovedquickerthroughthecorridorsoftheJeff
HamiltonSeniorHighSchool.Justdownthiscorridor,aroundthatcorner,
andthenit'sthefirstdoorontheleft.Great!Sheroundedthelast
cornerinamoderatespeed,knowingthatshehadjustoveraminuteorso
leftuntiltheclasswouldstart.
   Aroundthecorner,shebumpedintothepersonshewouldleastliketo
bumpintothatday.MarkFarnham,youthrebelextraordinaireandleader
oftheShades,oneofthemanyhallgangsthatexistedontheschool.He
hadbeeninherparallelclassforsevenyears,butshehadneverreally
knownhim.Theyhadnocontactwitheachother.Thecollisionmadehim
loseacoupleofbooksonthefloor.Neishagasped,thenquicklybent
downandpickedthemupanddeliveredthembacktohimwhileutteringa
fewlowwordsinapology,noticingthathewasalone.
   "Waitaminute!"Hisvoicewascolderthanice.Heregardedherwith
calculatingeyesthatwerebarelyvisiblebehindacoupleofverydark
shades."Whodoyouthinkyouarecominghereknockingmeover?"He
grabbedholdofherlefthand.
   "Uh-uh!Trouble,"Neishathought.
   "I'msorry.Ididn'tmeanto..."Hervoicesoundedhollow.
   "Apologizing,huh?"Markinterruptedher."Thereareacoupleof
thingsI'dlikeyoutoknow.Firstofall,NOBODYbumpsintomewithouta
bloodygoodreason.Second,nogirlsbumpintomeforANYreason!Third,
apologizingusuallydoesn'thelp!"Hiseyespiercedherdefence,andmade
Neishafeelasifshewasshrinking.
   "Listen,I'mreallysorryIhityou.Ididn'tmeanto.Pleaseletme
gosoIcanreachmyclass."Adesperatetonefelloverhervoice.She
lookeddownthecorridor.Nobodywereinsight.
   "Waitaminute!"Marklookedather,asifsuddenlyrecognizingher.
Afterashortwhile,hesaid,"Aren'tyouNeish,Jeremy'soldgirl?"He
gentlyletherhandgo.
   Neishafacedhimforthefirsttimeduringtheconversation,and
lookedquestioningathim.HowdidheknowJeremy?Jeremyhadloathed
theseguys.Afewnano-secondspassedwhileshejudgedforandagainst
lyingtohim.Shedecideditwasnotworthit.
   "Yes,Iam.Istillam."
   "Whendidyouchangeyourhairdo?Ididn'trecognizeyou!Well,well,"
hesmiled,butNeishacouldn'tsaywhetheritwasasmileoffriendship
orofevil.Whenhadheevernoticedherprevioushairdo,then?"That
givesusalotofthingstotalkabout."Helookedathiswatch."We'd
bettergettoclassintime.Meetmeinthecanteeninthebigbreak.
Tablefifty."Markstillsmiled.
   "Uh?Imean,eh...Ofcourse!"Neishagavehimafrightenedlookashe
turnedawayandmoveddownthecorridor.Nowshereallyfelt
uncomfortable.Shesighed,andwalkedquicklyintotheAuditoriumforher
Englishclass.Toolate,asalways.
   Neishasufferedherselfthroughthreelongandveryboringhoursof
phonology-studiesinAud.Max.ThethoughtofMarkhauntedhermindall
Çthetime.WhatcouldpossiblybetheconnectionbetweenJeremyandhim?
Shecouldn'trecallhavingeverseenthemtogether.PerhapsMarkwould
tellherinthebigbreak?Orperhapsnot.Perhapsshecouldjustadda
fewlinestoherlettertoJeremy,askinghim?No,shehadalreadysealed
it.Whatthen?
   "MissMorrison,wouldyoupleasepayattention?"ProfessorJones
lookedsharplyather.Neishaflushed,andlookedguiltyaroundherself.
AlltheotherstudentshadalreadylefttheAuditorium.
   "Classdismissed,"theprofessorrepeated.
   Neishaonceagainfoundherselfrunningthroughthecorridorsofthe
school.Sheoftendidnowadays.BeforeJeremyhadmoved,shewouldalways
bewalkingwithhim.Now,shecouldonlyrelyonherself.So,wherewas
thatroomagain?Andwhatwasthesubject?Shelookedthroughherbagand
foundaschedule.Ah,Literaturestudiesinroom315.Nice.Justaround
thecorner.
   Neishacarefullyrememberedtoroundthecornercalmlythistime,
avoidingtobumpintoanybody.Itworkedperfectly.Nobodywasinsight,
sosheswiftlywentintotheroomandgrabbedachairintherearofthe
room.
   Neishasighed.Somehow,shecouldn'tmakeherselfconcentrateon
analysing"WutheringHeights"byEmilyBronté.Neish?Nobodybuther
fatherandJeremyhadevercalledherthat.Mark?Somehow,shefound
herselffascinatedbyhim.Butattracted?No.Notreally!Shefeltthat
itwasgoingtobe45longminutesuntilrecess.Meanwhile,allshecould
dowaswait.Neish?

Atlast;Thebigbreak!Neishawalkedsteadilydownthemaincorridor.In
herhand,sheheldthelettershehadspentallyesterdayafternoon
writing.Theletterwhich,thoughlongandfilledtothebrimwith
questions,wouldnotgiveheranansweraboutJeremyandMark.Nowshe
wasstandinginfrontofthemailbox.Doubtoccupiedhermindasshewas
holdingtheletteruptoit.Asuddendesiretowaitmailingituntil
aftershehadspokenwithMarkfilledher.Shovingalldoubtfromher
mind,sheputtheletterinthebox,andturnedaway,decisively.Shehad
anappointmentinthecanteen!
   Thecorridorsweremostlyempty.Neishacouldonlyseeacoupleofthe
gangssittingaround,makinglifehardontheoccasionaltrespasser.
   Shehadjustpassedabunchofdubious-lookingyoungguyswhenshe
heardShannonbehindher.Shedidn'thavetoeavesdroptohearthathe
wasintrouble.
   "Hey,pal,"abad-lookingguyinablackleather-jackedsaidasshe
turnedaround."Where'reourfivebucks?"ShecouldseethatShannonwas
scared.Still,heremainedincontrol.
   "WhyshouldIgiveyoufivebucks?"heasked.
   "They'refortheäLet-Shannon-Live-Through-Recess-fond,Ç"oneofthe
otherleather-cladgangsterssaid.Shannonalmostcollapsedasheheard
thebrutalanswer.Notsurprised,Neishasawthathequicklyfounda
five-dollarbillandgaveittothegang.Shenoticedhowwearyhelooked
asheturnedawayfromthemandwalkedintheotherdirection.Suddenly,
shepitiedhim.
   Gettingfromoneendtoanotherinthecanteenduringthemainrecess
provedtobeharderthanexpected.Theaislesbetweenthetableswere
stuffedwithbagsandbooks,clothesandkids.Neishastruggledherway
towardstablefifty.ShecaughtaglimpseofMarksittingtherewithall
hisfriends.Thegangmembers.Theywereeatingtheusualjunkfood.
SuddenlyMarklookedstraightintohereyes,andsmiled.Hesaid
somethingtooneofthekidssittingonhersideofthetable,who
immediatelyroseandmovedtowardsher.Surprised,Neishasawhowthe
youngboykickedeveryobstacleoutofherway.Nobodydaredtocomplain;
Obviouslytheylovedlifehigher.
Ç   Whenapproachingthetable,Neishaoverheardtheendingofa
conversationbetweenMarkandtherestofthebunch.
   "...soyouknowwhattodo?"Marksoundedauthoritative.
   "Yeah,man.Relaxalittle,won'tya?"Askinheadyoungsterroseand
walkedtoanearbytable.
   "Okay,guys.Getlost!"Markwavedthegangawayfromthetablewhen
henoticedNeishastandingshylyontheothersideofit.Hesmiled
welcomingatherwhiletheywaitedfortherestoftheShadestomove
away.Neishanoticedthattheskinheadhadclearedthemanothertable.
Markrosefromhischair,andinvitedhertositdown."Well,I
never...?"Neishathought."AndIthoughttheysaidchivalrywasdead?"
ShedeliberatelychosethechairoppositeMarkandsatdown.Shecould
feeleyeslookingatherfrombehind.
   "I'mgladyoucouldmakeit,"Marksaid.Hetookoffhisshadesand
lookedfriendlyather.Forthefirsttimeshesawthecolourofhis
eyes.Theywereawarmgreen,andtheyshoneatherlikesmalldiamonds.
Neishawasmute.Theeyesmadehimlookso...Sohandsome.Notatall
likeshehadexpectedhimtobe.
   "I'mgladyouaskedme,"shefinallymanagedtosay,realizingwith
horrorthatshemeantit.
   "Yournewhairdoreallylooksnice,"hesaid,regardingher.
   "Thankyou,"sherepliedshortly.
   "Tellme,"hesaid,anddranksomehotcoffee."How'sJeremydoing
downSouth?Andwhydon'tyoueat?"Afrankandcuriouslookonhisface
calmedherdown.Sherelaxed,andpickedupthelunchbagfromherbag.
   "Well,"shesaidasshetookthefirstbite,"Heisdoingjustfine.
Atleastthat'swhathetellsmeintheletters."Forafewmomentsthey
werebothquiet,concentratingonthefood.Afterawhilehespokeagain.
   "Whatdoyouknowaboutriddles?"
   "Notmuch."Neishachewedonthequestionawhile.Sheusedtolove
riddleswhenshewasachild.Nowshewasseventeen,andabittooold
forthem.Therewasonesherememberedatonce...

   àInthewindowshesatweeping,
   andwitheachtearherlifewentseeping.
Ç
Markthoughtaboutitforamoment,andthenreplied,"Aburningcandle.
Thatwasabeautifulrhyme."Theireyesmet.Shecouldfeelthemtalking
toher.Invitingandseductive."Howaboutthisone,then?"hesaid.

   àI'moftenheld,yetrarelytouched;
   I'malwayswet,yetneverrust;
   I'msometimeswaggedandsometimesbit;
   Tousemewell,youmusthavewit.
Ç
"Whatisthis,acompetitionorsomething?"Neishafeltconfusedbythese
rhymes.
   "Sortof,"Markreplied,"Whyareyouasking;Interestedinthegrand
prize?"
   "Tongue,"shesaid."Theansweristongue."Nowitismyturn,she
thought,wryly.

   àThere'ssomeonethatI'malwaysnear,
   YetinthedarkIwilldisappear.
   TothisoneonlywillIbeloyal,
   ThoughinhiswakeI'mdoomedtotoil.
   Hefeelsmenot,butwealwaystouch,
   IfIwerelost,hewouldnotlosemuch.
   AndnowIcometomysurprise,
   Foryouarehe-butwhoamI?
Ç
"Now,that'satoughone,"Marksaidafterawhile.Heseemedtobe
thinkinghardtofigureouttheanswer.Hechewedslowlyonthelast
pieceofhissandwich."à...butwealwaystouch,Ç"hesaidthoughtfully.
"Nowwhatonearthcouldthatbe?"Helookedoutofthewindows,and
noticedthattheskywasclearblue.Theshowersthathadbeenearlier
thesamedaywereover.Sunshinesweptacrossthecrowdedroom,buthe
barelynoticedthemassofpeople.Theyignoredhim,soheignoredthem.
Shadowsdancedalloverthefloor,confusing,teasing...
   "Shadow,"hesuddenlysaid."Ofcourseit'smyshadow."Neishasmiled
atherself.Hehadhadtostrugglehardtofigureoutthatone.Hesmiled
back,totallyabsorbedbythesightofhertongueplayingaroundher
lips.Shefinishedeating.
   "Now,hereisthefinalriddlefromme,"hecontinued."Well,itis
notreallyariddle.Itwillbetrayme."Hesmiled.
   Neishalookedathim."Well,getonwithit."Forareasonshecould
notdefine,shefeltabituneasyaboutthislastriddle.
   Marklookedather,sighed,andclosedhiseyes."Courage,"he
thought."Givemecourage!"Hesentasilentpleatothedeityinwhich
hedidn'tbelieve.Heopenedhiseyesagain,andlookeddeepinto
Neisha'sazure-blueeyes.Heclearedhisthroat,swallowed,andbegan.

   àTheyarewhatIhavelivedfor,theymightbemydeath.
   IfIcan'tgathercourage,they'llbeheldbeneathmybreath.
   Tomethesewordsareprecious,Iguardthemwithmylife.
   Theywillmaybecausemesorrow,orblessmewithawife.
   Sowhatwillbeyouranswer;yousurelyknowit'strue.
   WhenIutterthesevaluablewords;Itrulydoloveyou!
Ç
Silence.ItwasallNeishacouldproduce.Ashockedsilence.Ofall
possiblewords,theseweretheonesshehadleastexpectedfromMark.She
gaspedforbreath.Quickly,Mickloweredhisgazeandstaredonarandom
spotonthetable.Helookedasifhewasashamed.Neishaslowlyregained
herbreathandstaredatMark.Heloweredhisfacetoavoidherlook.A
suddenfeelingofpitycameoverherwhenshesawthelookonhisface.
Itcouldnotbemisinterpreted.Itwasrawpain.
   "N-no."Shestammered."Icannot..."Wordsfailedher.Ithadcometo
unexpected.Sheclosedhereyesaswell."IhaveJeremy."Thesentence
hungintheairforalittlewhile.
   "Iknow."Marklookedather.Heregrettedthefactthathehadeven
thoughtofinvitinghertohistable.Hesomehowknewthathecouldnever
haveher,eventhoughhehadbeensecretlyinlovewithherforyears
now.Hedecidedtogiveitashot.
   "ButJeremyisfaraway."ThesympathetictoneinMark'svoicemade
Neishalookathim.Forashortwhiletheyjustsatthere,looking
indecisivelyateachother.Neishastudiedhimcarefully.Surprisingly,
shenoticedthatshewas,infact,attractedtohim-afeelingshehad
neverfeltbefore,exceptwithJeremy.Andboththeboyswerehandsome.
Markperhapsevenmoreso,whenhedidn'twearthoseridiculousshades.
Neishafeltconfused.
   Markclosedhiseyes,tookadeepbreath,andconcentratedfullyon
Neisha.Helethismindflow,andtransferredhisthoughtsandmindto
her.Suddenlyshefelthisthoughts.Overwhelmingandpassionatefeelings
floodedoverher.Sheknew.Sheunderstood.
   "Forthatlong?"Sheasked,honestlydisbelievinghim."Youhavebeen
inlovewithmeforthatlong?"Shecouldnotrememberhimlookingather
sincethesixthgradeschoolball.
   "Yeah,"Markrepliedinabittervoice.Hestilllookedashamed,asif
hehaddonesomethingwrong."ButIdon'tmeantorushyou,"headded
quickly."IknowyouandJeremyhaveaverygoodrelationship,andI
Çdon'twanttoruinit."Hewasashonestashehadneverbeenbefore.
"Butpleasedon'tturnmedownatonce.Atleastthinkaboutit."Neisha
couldtellthathewasalmostcrying.
   Theschoolbellrang.Themainrecesswasalreadyover.Soon,they
wouldhavetoleavetogetintimetotheirclasses.Neishalooked
hesitatingonMark.
   "Ineedtimetothinkaboutit,"shefinallysaid."NowIhavetogo."
Underthetable,Markquicklymovedhishandsfranticallyaround.Inless
thanasecond,theyfoundNeisha's.Hetookholdofherhands,andheld
themgentle.Helookedpassionatelyintohereyes."Neish..."hebegan.
   Suddenlysomebodypulledherhair.Shewhirledaroundandlookedinto
thegrinningfaceofShannon.Behindher,Markrose.Shannonsuddenly
becameawareofwhereNeishahadbeensitting,andwhoshehadbeen
talkingto.Thesmilewasaswipedoffhisface.Hebackedslowlydown
theaislewhenMarkandtherestoftheShadesquietlymovedtowardshim.
Neisharoseandgrabbedherbag.TheShadesmovedpasther.
   "Mark!"Shetookholdofhisrightarm.Heturnedtowardsher.
   "Ifyouwouldlikemetoevenconsiderlikingyou,leaveShannon
alone.Hedoesn'tdeserveyourhatred."Neishacastonelastlookonthe
patheticcreaturewhowasstillbackingdowntheaisle,beforesheturned
awayandranintothenearestcorridor.Shecouldn'ttellwhatMarkdid
behindher.
   Markstopped.HelookedinsurpriseatNeisha'sback.Itseemedasif
shehadmeantwhatshesaid,buthecouldn'trecallherbeingso
authoritative!HeorderedtheShadestoturnaroundandgetintimeto
theirrespectiveclasses.Shannonbarelyunderstoodanything,butevenhe
rantohisclassroom.
   Therestoftheday,Neishaconcentratedaboutpayingattentiontoher
teachers.French,GeographyandPsychologywerethesubjectsofherthree
lastperiods.Allthreeweresubjectsshehated,butherheadwasso
filledwithworriesthatshedidn'treallycare.Allsheneededwasto
forgetallaboutMark,Jeremy,riddlesandlove.Theteacherswere
positivelysurprisedofthissuddeninterestshehadtakenoftheir
subjects,andliterarybombardedherwithquestions,notasingleoneof
whichshecouldnotanswer.Sheenjoyeditherself,aswell.

Shewassittingontheschoolbusonherwayhome.Theyellowpieceof
junkmetalalmostshookherbrainsoutofplace,butshedidn'tcare.She
hadgainedquitealittleself-confidencethisday,butthehardschool
oflifehadalsogivenherhomework.ShehadtocallJeremylateron,and
shealreadyknewpreciselywhatshe'dtellhim.
   Suddenlyshefeltsomebodyknockingsoftlyonhershoulder.Itwas
Shannon.Helookedembarrassed.
   "Eh,Neisha...",hebegan.Shelookedfriendlyonhim.
   "I..."Helookedaway."IjustwantedtosayI'msorryaboutallthe
timesIhavebeenbuggingyou."Helookedasifhemeantit.
   "IguessIneverhadanyreasontodoit,"hecontinued,looking
guiltilydownonthefloor."AndI'dliketosaythankyouforsavingme
fromahardtimeatschooltoday."Helookedupagain,andnoticedthat
Neishawassmilingathim.
   "You'reforgiven,"shesaid."Say,whydon'tyoucomeovertomyplace
laterontoday,andwe'lltalkaboutit?"Shecaughthimbysurprise.
   "Uh,yeah,sure.Whynot?Atfive?"Hecheeredup.
   "Yeah,fivewillbefine."Shesmiledathim,asweetsmile.
   Sheleftthebusafewminuteslater,andwalkedthefewhundredyards
upthestreet,andenteredhermother'shouse.Withherbackagainstthe
door,shetookacoupleofdeepbreaths,andstartedwalkingtowardsthe
phone.Onherway,shestoppedinfrontofthemirror.Sheregardedher
ownslimbodywithneweyes.Ifsomanyboyslikedit,itcouldn't
possiblybethatbad.Shecontinuedwalkingtowardsthephone.Shehad
Çtwoboystoletdown,andadatetoprepare...

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