Crawly Crypt Collection 1/crawlyvol1.bin/magazine/scriba/scriba11/data.bin/COKE.DOC

Text File | 1979-11-30 | 20KB | 328 lines

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9[..◆.◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110
üDoyouwantacoke?
ÇbyGardEggesbøAbrahamsen
(dedicatedtoSeverineDiziain)

   Gitslookedattheradar.Itwasthefirsttimesincetheyhadleft
Otulpthataspace-shipmovedinthatclose.Hisfistsweretightened.
Riegsanoticedthis."Gits,"hesaid."ViolentOne.Icanseenoreason
totightenanyfists.Rememberthatwehavemerchandisetodeliverand
thebestforusallistotravelinpe..."
   "Shutup,PeacefulOne!"Gitswasangry.Hehadbeenangryandquite
violentsincehiswife,Eneri,waskilledaftershesaid"peace"onetime
toomany.Hetoldthepoliceitwasanaccident,buteverybodyknewthat
itwasGitswhoputherinthemicrowaveoven.Whyshemarriedhiminthe
firstplace,isoneofthegreatunsolvedmysteriesoftheuniverse.
"It'smydutytoprotectit."HeturnedtoTrebor."SwiftOne!Goandget
theInsanelyWittyOneandtheFrenchOne."
   Treborpressedakeyinapanelbyadoor.Itwasthisactionthat
causedtheabovementioneddoortoslideopen.Treborranswiftlydown
thecorridorthathadbeenhiddenbehindthedoorallthetime.Thedoor
closedsilentlybehindhim.
   "Accordingtomycalculations,"Riegsasaid,"thatcouldjustaswell
beapeacefu..."
Ç   "Shutup,PeacefulOne!TakeyourpeaceandshoveitbeforeIdoit.
Thisistherealworldandnotanimaginarypeacefulone!Don'tyou
remembertheprophecy?"
   Treborenteredtheroomthroughtheabovementioneddoor."Sir,"he
said."Theywillcomeassoonastheyhavedressed."
   "Imustsay..."Riegsastarted,butalookfromGitstoldhimthathe
shouldn'tcontinueifhewantedtostayalivelongerthananotherten
seconds.Riegsahadalwaysbeencarefulandaspeacefulaspossible.When
hewenttoschool,someolderboyshadbeatenhimuponce.Toprevent
thisfromhappeningmorethanthatonetime,hepayedtheboys$2each
everydaytolayoff.However,therewereotherboyswhowantedtobeat
himupaswell.Theyearlybribeexpensessoonreached$400000.That's
whyhehadtotakethisboringjobonthespace-ship:topaytheyearly
$400000.ThiswasalsohowhemetDragtheInsanelyWittyOneand
EnirevestheFrenchOne.
   Alightonapanelbelowtheradarscreenflashedred.Gitslookedout
ofthewindow.Hecouldnowclearlyseetheapproachingspace-ship."If
onlyIhadabigenoughmicrowaveoven"hethoughtandtightenedhis
fistsevenfurther.Hehadtodoitthehardwaythistime.
   Buthehadaproblem.
   ABIGproblem.
   Aproblemsoenormouslyhugethathowhesolveditisoneofthegreat
Çunsolvedmysteriesoftheuniverse.
   Hehadforgottentobringhislasergun.
   Butthatwasnottheonlyproblemhehad.Thisotherproblemwasat
themomentwalkingupthecorridor."Blackenedistheend,"theproblem
sang."Winteritwillsend,Throwingallyousee,Intoobscurity.Death
ofmotherearth,Neverarebirth,Evelution'send,Neverwillitmend,
Never."Theproblemwasinsane.Itwascalled"DragtheInsanelyWitty
One"andwasoneofthegreatestMetallicafansinthegalaxy.
   TogetherwithDragwasEnirevestheFrenchOne.Once,shewasasked
whatshesawinDrag.Asexpected,herreplysimplywasthat"Hemakesme
laugh".Ofcourse,thishasnothingwiththeactualstorytodo
whatsoever.Therefore,Ibelieveitistimetoleavethissubjectandgo
ontellingthestory.
   ThebeforementioneddoorslidopentoallowDragandEnirevesto
entertheroom.Dragfeltuncomfortable.Itseemedtohimthattherewas
somethingwrongwithhistrousers.Helookeddown.Backwards!
   "ViolentOne,"hesaidasheentered."PeacefulOne,"hesaidto
Riegsa."SwiftOne,"HeturnedtoTrebor."Excusemeforamoment."He
thendisappearedintothelavatory.Aminutelaterhereturnedwithhis
trouserstherightway,thistime."Youaskedforus?"Heaskedasif
nothinghadhappenedatall.(Especiallynotwithhistrousers)
   "Yes,"Gitsrepliedwithaminutesmileonhisface.Heturnedtothe
Çwindow."There'sthisspace-ship."Hisfistswerequitetightened."You
aretheexpertonspace-ships,Enireves.Whatdoyouthink?"
   Enirevesstudiedthespace-shipinasplitsecondandhadtheanswer
ready.Itwasnottheultimateanswerofthebigquestionaboutlife,
universeandeverything(42),butatleastitwasananswer.Theultimate
answerofthecurrentsituationtheynowwerein.
   "Ihaveneverseenanythinglikeit,butonethingiscertain."She
saidinherFrenchaccent."Wewon'tstandachanceagainstitwhenit
comestoarms."
   Gitstightenedhisfistsevenmore.Theglassofcokeheactuallyheld
initbrokeandallthecokewasnowintheformofabigblackpoolon
theusuallysocleanfloor."Ihatethatspace-ship,"hecriedout."It
tookmycoke!"
   Dragquicklydrankupthepoolofcokefromthefloor.
   Ayellowlightstartedflashingabovethecommunicationscreen.Trebor
wentswiftlyovertothescreenandpressedabutton.
   Thescreenwasfilledwithaface.Itwasamale,butitwas
impossibletotelltheapproximateageofhim.
   "Hellothere,"thefacesaid."IamEdorftheevilone.Ifeelabit
happytoday,soIwillgiveyoutwochoices:Eitheryousurrenderandlet
usboardtheship,orwewillblowyouinbillionsofsmallpieces."
   Inamoment,itlookedasifGitsuntightenedhisfists,but
Çsurprisinglytonone,hedidn't.Hetightenedthem(asiftheyweren't
tightenough)
   "I'lltellyou,"Gitssaid."Wehaven'tgotmuchchoicebuttochoose
oneofthetwo,andsinceIwouldlikeafightingchancetoliveabit
longer,Imightletyouboardtheship.Whetheryousucceedornot,is
yourproblem."
   Riegsaapproachedthescreenaswell."MayIsuggest,"hesaid.
   Gitslookedathim.
   "IfIgiveyou$2,willyoulayoff,then?"Riegsacontinued.
   Edorflaughed.Thescreenflickeredandthefacedisappeared.
   Notmanyminuteslater,theycouldhearsomethingbeingattachedto
theshipandtheouterdoorbeingopened.
   "Timetoplayhideandseek,"Treborsuggested.
   "Hide,seekandobliterate,"GitscorrectedTrebor.
   "Butit'sjusttogivethem$2andtheywilllayoff,"Riegsasaidand
startedwalkingtowardstheplacetheintrudersmostprobablyenteredthe
ship.
   "Riegsa!Comeback!"EnirevescriedandstartedtorunafterRiegsa.
Dragcouldn'tbelievehiseyes.Enirevesranstraightintothehandsof
theenemy!Hecouldnotallowit!Hewantedtorunafterherandrescue
her.Butlater.Ifherannow,hewouldbecaughtaswell.
   Theyheardfootstepsclosingin.Riegsa'sdesperateattemptstotalk
Çhiswayoutofthesituationashewastakenaway.Hisvoicewas
desperateindeed.
   TheycouldhearEnirevesscream.Thescreamwasfadingawayaswell.
Theywereprobablytakingallprisonerstotheotherspace-ship.This
wouldmaketherescueevenharder,butnowtheyhadtostayalive.
   Thefootstepswereclosingin.
   Thedoorslidopenandalonelysoldiersteppedin.HewonderedwhyHE
wasgiventhetasktosearchroomsthatseeminglywereempty,allthe
time.Hewalkedslowlyintothemiddleoftheroom.Hecouldseenobody.
   "Ican'trememberanything,"hesangforhimself."Can'ttellifthis
istrueordream,DeepdowninsideIfeeltoscream,Thisterrible
silencestopsme.Nowthatthewaristhroughwithme,I'mwakingupI
cannotsee,Thatthere'snotmuchleftofme,Nothingisrealbutpain
now!"
   AMetallicafan.Hepushedthebuttontothelavatory.Thedooropened
and...well,whatcanasoldiersaywhenheissearchingforprisonersand
oneofthemissittingontheloowithhistrousersdown.
   "Don'tworry,"Dragsaidcarefully."Justletmeputmytrousersback
onandI'llsurrender."SinceDragalsowasaMetallicafan,hejusthad
tosingabitasheputhistrousersbackon.
   WhenaMetallicafanhearssomebodysingMetallicamusichesimply
mustsing,too,andsothesoldierdid.
Ç   "DoyouseewhatIsee?TruthisanoffenceYousilenceforyour
confidence.DoyouhearwhatIhear?DoorsareslammingshutLimityour
imagination,keepyouwheretheymust.DoyoufeelwhatIfeel?Bittering
distressWhodecideswhatyouexpress?DoyoutakewhatItake?Endurance
isthewordMovingbackinsteadofforwardseemstomeabsurd.Doesn't
matterwhatyouseeOrintoitwhatyoureadYoucandoityourownway
Ifit'sdonejusthowIsay.IndependencelimitedFreedomofchoice
ChoiceismadeforyoumyfriendFreedomofspe..."
   ThesongwassuddenlycutoffasGitshadhitthesoldierfrombehind.
"Letmeborrowyourgunaminute,"hetoldthesoldierashetiedhis
handsandputhimintheloo."Oneshouldn'tleavetheloowithout
flushingit,"hecontinuedandquitesoon,thesoldierwasgone.
---------
   Riegsacouldn'tbelievewhatwashappening.Bribingwith$2hadalways
workedbefore.Hehadeventriedwithamassive$4thistime,butit
stilldidn'twork.Whathadhegottenhimselfinto?
   Hehadtomakeaplan.Itcouldbeanyplanaslongasitdidn't
involveanyviolence.Makingaplanwhilsthangingup-sidedown12feet
abovethefloor,isn'tactuallytheeasiestthingonecando,sohegave
up.Thehopethatsomebodymaybewouldrescuehimmadehimfallasleep.
   Buthewokeupagainquitequickly.
   Notbecauseitmightbeabitdifficulttosleepwhilsthanging
Çupside-down12feetabovethefloor.
   Neitherwasitbecausesomebodyhadrescuedhim.
   Thepossibilitythathewouldbesetfreewaslikenill.
   Buthestillwokeup.Hewasdeadtired.Wonderingwhyhewasn't
asleep,helookedaround,oratleasttriedtolookabitaround.That's
whenhesawEnireves.Now,alsohangingupside-down12feetabovethe
floor.Shehadscreamedwhentheyputherupthere.That'smostprobably
whyRiegsawokeup.
   "AreyouOK?"Enirevesseemedabitconcerned."Youshouldn'thaverun
straightintothem.Youcould'vegotyourselfkilled."
   "Butpaying$2hasalwaysworked!"
   "Thesearepirates,PeacefulOne.Theywantthewholeship,notjust
$2.Andtogetthewholeship,theyhavetogetridofus,right?"
   "Well..."
   "Andtheeasiestwayofgettingridofusistokillus."
   "KILLus?Nah!Theywouldn'tdoanythinglikethat.Theywillprobably
justputusonadesertedplanetorsomething."
   "Leavingustostarvetodeath."
   Riegsachangedhisfacefromahappysmiletoaquiteserious
expression."You'reright.We'vegottogetoutofhere."
   "Andhowdidyouthinkweshoulddothat?Wearenowhangingupside-
down12feetabovethefloor.Wearehanginginchains.Youcan't
Çpossiblyopenthelocks,andevenifyoudid,youwouldlandonyourhead
andbreakyourneck."
   "I'llthinkofsomething."
   "You'dbetter.BecauseI'dliketoseeDragagainbeforeIdie."
   Suddenly,thechaininwhichEnireveswashangingstartedtomove
alongapipe-linetakingEnireveswithit.Shelookeddownatthefloor.
Thechainstoppedjustaboveaholeinthefloorbeforeitstartedto
lowerEnirevesdownintoit.
   "Riegsa,"shesaidinadesperatevoice."Whataretheydoing?Whatis
goingtohappentome?"
   "Idon'tknow,Enireves!Idon'tknow!"
   NowjustthechaininwhichEnireveswashangingwasvisibleabovethe
floor.Smokepouredoutofthehole.Whitesmoke.20secondslaterthe
chainwinchedherupagain.Shewastotallycoveredwithice.Shehad
beenfrozen.
   ThechaininwhichRiegsawashanginginstartedtomove...
---------
   Thesoldierjuststoodthereguardingthetubetheyhadputuptomove
fromoneofthespace-shipstotheotherwithouthavingtowearspace-
suits.Hewonderedwhyhealwayswastheonewhohadtoguardit.Itwas
soboring.Hewasabouttofallasleepwhenheheardasound.Helooked
towardstheplacefromwherethesoundcame.
Ç   Helookeddownonthefloor.Anemptycokecan.Hepickeditup.
Lookedbackasifheexpectedsomeonetoattackhimfrombehind.Hewould
haveifhehadn'tturnedaround.Buthedid,sohecouldn'tandsohe
wasn't.Infactitwastheotherwayaroundthistime.Treborwhowas
giventhetasktohithimfrombehindwasquitesurprisedwhenthe
soldierturnedaround."Wanna'race?"hetried.
   Afterall,Treborwasn'tcalled"theSwiftOne"fornothing.Whenhe
was3yearsoldheoutranhisfatherandwhenhebeganschool,heusually
raninsteadoftakingthebus.Itwasmuchfaster.
   "Huh?"Theguardwondered.
   "I'llsurelyoutrunyou,"Treborcontinued
   "ButI..."Theguardtried.Howeverhistrywasnotenoughconsidering
thatDraghadmovedinfrombehindtorescueTrebor.ButDragdidn'thave
anythingtohitwith.Hetappedthesoldier'sshoulder.
   "Excuseme,sir,"hesaid."MayIborrowthatcokeabit?"
   Thesoldierwhowasquiteconfusedjustgaveittohim.
   "Thankyou,sir,"hecontinuedandgavetheemptycoketoTreborwho
usedittohitthesoldierquitehardintheneck."Sleepwell,sir.And
beforeIforget,Ibelieveyouwon'tneedthisoneanymore."Hetookthe
gunanddroppedthesoldierinthethrashbin.(athrashbinisadevice
thatthrashesthetrashbeforeitisautomaticallythrownintothetrash
bin)
Ç   "Isthattheholewearesupposedtoclimbthrough?"Treborwondered.
   "Yeah?Isupposeitshouldn'tbetoodifficult.We'llmanage.Where's
Gits?"Dragranbackandturnedaroundthecorner.
   Silence.
   TherewassomuchsilencethatTreborwishedtheyhadinstalledan
air-conditionertocleanoutallthesilenceintheair.
   ButDragusedquiteawhiletogetGits.
   Toolongtime.
   SolongtimethatTreborwonderedwherehehadgone.
   Heheardfootsteps.IftheyhadcomefromthedirectionDragwent,he
wouldprobablybelieveitwashim,butthefootstepscamefromtheother
direction,soitcouldn'tbeDragandsohedidn'tthinkitwasDrag
either.
   Hegrabbedforthegun.Thiswasnotwhathehopedfor,butsincethe
situationwasasitwasinthisexactmoment,hejusthadtoacceptthat
anddowhateverwasbestforhim.That'swhyhegrabbedforthegun.
However,therewasaminorproblemaboutthat:Thegunwasn'tthere.
   Thefootstepswerenowveryclose,soclosethatTreboractuallycould
seethesoldierwhomadethefootsteps.
   "No,no,"Treborbegged."Iamunarmed.Don'tshoot.Iamquite
unarmed,see?(God,whereareDragandGits?IftheycomesoonIwon't
peainGits'cokeeveragainandI'llbecomeamo...)"
Ç   Asareply,acoupleofshotshitthesoldierthathadn'tsaidathing
yet.OfcourseitwasDragandGitswhonowwereback.
   "(...I'llbecomeamotherfucker.)"Treborcontinuedhisprayergladhe
hadnotfinishedthewordbeforeDragandGitsreturned."Wherehaveyou
guysbeen?"heasked.
   "Gitshadtovisitthelavatory."
   "AGAIN?"
   "Sowhat?Itwasimportant.I'llexplainittoyoulater."
   Thenthethreeguysclimbedthroughthehole,crawledthroughthetube
andarrivedintheotherspace-shipwheresomesoldierswerewaitingfor
them.
   "Oh!Oh!We'reintrouble,"Treborsaid.
   "Nah!We'renot.Hey!You!"Gitsturnedtooneofthesoldiers."Take
ustoyourleader.WehavesomethingVERYimportanttotellhim,andwe
aretalkingaboutlifeanddeathofthecrewinthisentireship!"
   "Ayeaye,sir!"wasthequiteshortreplyofthesoldier.
   Afterafewminuteswalkingtheyfinallyarrivedtothebridgewhere
EdorftheEvilOnewaswaiting.Hewaslookingoutofthewindowwhen
theyarrived.Hedidn'teventurnaround.Hejuststoodthere.Hesaida
singleword."Yes?"
   Gitstookastepforward."Sir,Isupposeyouwouldliketolivejust
aslongaswewanttolive?"
Ç   Edorfturnedaround.Hehadneverheardanyprisonertalklikethat
before."Yeah?ActuallyIwilllivelongerthananyofyou.Ha!Ha!"His
laughterwastheworstGitshadheardsincehemetDragtheInsanely
WittyOne.
   Gitsdidn'tlookbotheredaboutthefactEdorfhadjuststatedatall.
Infact,GitswasjustwaitingforEdorftostoplaughing.Infact,he
wouldhelpEdorfstoplaughing."Sir,"hesaid."Ihaveputabombinthe
space-ship.Idohavehere..."GitsshowedEdorfalittleboxwithared
buttononit."...thedetonator.Ofcourse,ifIamshot,thebombwill
blowtheshiptobillionsofpiecesinexactlyonehourfromnowon."
   Treborseemedtohaveanidea.Hesmiledabitandstarted:"Sothat's
whatyoudidatthelav..."hestoppedbeforehegaveawaythelocation
ofthebomb.
   Gitscontinued."So,ifyouwillbekindenoughtolettheothersgo,
Imightbekindenoughtoletyouliveabitlonger."
   Edorfwasbitter.Hecouldnotbelievewhatwasgoingon.Butas
always,hehadhisplans."Okey,"hesaid."Jim!Goandmeltthe
prisoners."
   Aquiteyoungsoldierturnedaroundandleftthroughadoorinthe
wall.
   "Melt?"Gitswondered.
   "Melt?"Treborwondered.
Ç   AndDragjustlookedinsanelywitty."Melt?"heuttered.
   Edorfsmiledabit."Yeah?Theywerefrozensomeminutesago.Theplan
wastofreezeyouallandsellyoutoacertainNrøjbsa."
   "Nrøjbsa?TheMadProfessor?Whatwashetodowithus?"
   "Letmeshowyou.Thisway."
   TheyfollowedEdorfthroughalongcorridorandintoasmallroomwith
aholeinthefloor.Twoicecubeswerestandingbythehole.Inside
theseicecubesonecouldseebodies.Onemaleandonefemale.Theywere
quiteupside-downandlookedremarkablylikeRiegsaandEnireves.Theice
hadstartedmelting.
   "Yousee,"Edorfsaid."Heistryingtomakeanewice-creamthat
nobodyhasevertastedbefore.Heneedsasecretingredient."
   "Andthatingredientisus?"Gitssuggested.
   "Well,notonlyyou.Ofcourseheiswillingtopayforanyhumans
thatIshouldcapture.Itwillbebigmoney."
   TheicewasnowfinishedmeltingandRiegsaandEnireveswerefree.
"Youmadeit!"EnirevescriedandgaveDragabighug.
   Riegsajustlookedabitunhappy.
   Gitslookedattheboxhewasholdinginhishand.Hehelditinfront
ofEdorfandpressedthebutton.Throughalittleholeinthebox,some
waterseemedtopouroutruiningEdorf'sclothes.
   "Itwasatoy?"Edorfwondered."Howcouldyoudothistome?Haveyou
ÇforgottenthatIamstillinchargehere?I'llkillyou!"
   "Idon'tthinkso,"RiegsasaidandpushedEdorfintotheholeinthe
floor.
   "Whathappenedtohim?"Gitslookedatthewhitecoldsmokethat
pouredoutofthehole."Didhegetcoldfeet?"Hepaused."So,sincewe
nowhavetakenoverthisship,wecanjustaswell..."Gitslookedaround
withaverysurprisedlookinhisface."WheredidtheInsanelyWittyOne
andtheFrenchOnego?"
   Treborlookeddown."Theysaidsomethingabouttryingoutthebeds
here."
   "Imustsay..."Riegsatried,butalookfromGitstoldhimnotto
continueifhewantedtostayalivelongerthananother10seconds."Do
youwantacoke?"
---TheEnd---