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- Hi! I'm Bill! I'm watching over you! I want you to feel safe and secure!
- BILL FORGIVES YOUR SINS.
- Bill wants you to change your underwear daily.
- "I want to bring joy to every Microsoft-using creature on this planet."
- "I want to be proud of you. I want you to use Microsoft products only.
- "Go, and enjoy the pleasure only Microsoft can bring."
- "You are all my children. Now go and play with a Microsoft product."
- "A computer running Windows 95 is a happy computer."