home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search
- Journal Entry 079 / 0672
-
- It didn't seem to matter much that I had spent the last three weeks
- eating three meals a day and showering regularly. It didn't seem to
- matter that P'nyssa had been by my side the entire time, or that the
- autodoc had examined us completely over and over and every report had
- come back the same. I was in perfect health, well fed and cared for.
- It didn't matter. I felt tired. I felt completely, bone-wearingly
- tired.
-
- I had paced the open floor of this Mark 454 Starcruiser, much like
- the one we had crashed in seven months ago (or fifty years ago,
- depending on who you asked), at least a dozen times today when Vega came
- up the small stairway leading to the bridge to find me. "Less than
- twenty minutes, Ken," she said, smiling.
-
- "Thanks, Captain," I replied, sighing. "Aaden's supposed to be on
- board the Eldarfaroth, isn't he?"
-
- She nodded. "It was my understanding that your coimelin hates
- space."
-
- "He does."
-
- "Then he must love you very much, to come this far to be with you
- on your return."
-
- I smiled. "Yeah, I guess he does. I know I love him, but there
- isn't much that frightens me the way space frightens him." I heard
- footsteps behind me, and P'nyssa and Thera came walking in from the
- cabin area. "Hi," I said, taking P'nyssa in my arms and hugging her
- tightly.
-
- "Hi," she replied back, smiling. I don't think it was my
- imagination that her smile was as weary as mine. I reached out with my
- hand to touch Thera's shoulder; she startled a little, them covered my
- hand with hers.
-
- "You look tired, Thera."
-
- She laughed. "I think that's the theme of the day, Kennet. We are
- all tired. We all want to be home."
-
- Vega looked up from her controls, her Tindal eyes smiling. "And
- home wants you home, guys. We've missed all of you for too long."
-
- Thera smiled. "You mean they missed Ken and P'nyssa and Pan. The
- rest of us are not so important."
-
- "You were all important," Vega replied. "No particular priority
- was given to Ken or anybody else. A higher priority was put on a
- defensive rescue ops because when the Sinox heard you were missing they
- went completely berserk. We had sixteen defensive operations the first
- year you were gone."
-
- "Sixteen?" I asked, incredulous. "There were only four last year!"
-
- "Fifty years ago," Vega corrected me again. I felt like I was
- getting a headache. Travelling forward in time fifty years had
- completely disoriented me. And there were people on Pendor who did this
- all the time! Vega continued, "They returned to normal levels after
- three years, but intelligence was constantly aware of their immense
- interest and intensive resource effort in finding you. Occasionally
- they would claim to have captured or killed you, but we never gave up
- hope and the details they gave were never very accurate."
-
- "Surprise that. A species almost to stupid to be spaceworthy."
-
- "Actually, they're very intelligent. When it comes to relegative
- processes, the Sinox are actually superior to all the Pendorian Races."
-
- "With one exception," Dali, the ship's AI, interrupted.
-
- "Well, yes, with one exception. Anyway, the Sinox don't suffer
- intuitively because of it, either. They're a very straightforward and
- functional race. They're just so completely homocentric that external
- competition is anathema to them. Internal competition, they believe,
- just makes them stronger."
-
- "Kinda makes sense why they think I'm their Great Evil incarnate,
- then," I mused quietly. "Not only do I represent competition, but I
- created varieties of competition that are actually superior to myself."
-
- "I am not superior to you, am I?" Thera asked, looking confused.
-
- "Actually, you were," I said casually. "You're a lot more
- survival-worthy than your base Terran Human. I was one once, remember?"
- She nodded. "Over the years, I've made modifications to myself that, as
- far as I can tell, bring me up to your standards. But in the beginning
- all my children were more survival-worthy than I was."
-
- "Dropping out of Hawkwind drive," Dali announced calmly. "Transit
- to the Eldarfaroth in four minutes."
-
- "There it is," Vega announced, pointing out the window. People
- tend to forget that there is very little light in deep space; about as
- much as a starlit, moonless night on an undeveloped world. Our solution
- was to place large LED panels on strategic points, thus outlining the
- ship. The Eldarfaroth was covered almost completely in them; it
- gleamed like a golden offering.
-
- My heart beat faster; I could almost feel what little magickal
- training I had strain to pull me from my body, to let me get to the
- Eldarfaroth ahead of the Starcruiser, to be with Aaden NOW. I wanted to
- hold him, to hug him again. I told myself to be still.
-
- The docking facility for the Eldarfaroth is on the top of the ship;
- Pendorian design philosophy doesn't have the enclosed shuttle garages
- that Terran ships do, but rather puts the docking hardware entirely on
- the outside of the vessel and control of the landing entirely in the
- hands of the pilot. It allows for five vectors of escape instead of
- one, which is all the terran design permits.
-
- I cursed inwardly, wondering why in Hell I was thinking about
- starship design philosophy when what I wanted was Aaden. I thought
- about all the things I had left back home, that I hadn't had my hands on
- in almost a year for me, but five decades for them. Ress, Bawr, Jahn,
- Brieanna, Paul, Carroll... who was I missing? Them, or just Aaden?
-
- Gods, I missed him. I felt the Starcruiser clang and thunk against
- the hull of the larger starship. What had happened in fifty years? Was
- he still living at home, or had he moved back into his house at Rhysh?
- Did he still love me? Did he have someone else?
-
- I waited, my heart racing. A hand, no, a mitten slid across my
- shoulders, startling me as the lift activated and dropped the ship into
- the holding bay. "Ken?"
-
- "Huh?" I asked suddenly. "Oh... Hi, Nyss."
-
- "Your scared, aren't you?"
-
- "Of a lot of things. I know you love me, P'nyssa, I'm not afraid
- of you disappearing anytime soon." I reached out to put my arm around
- her waist. "But I'm really scared he's not going to be there when the
- door opens."
-
- "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Ken."
-
- "But fifty years, Nyss? That's such an incredibly long time, even
- for us. A year or two or even ten I could do standing on my head, but
- to miss you or him for so long... I know I would have gone crazy."
-
- She smiled and kissed my cheek. "He'll be there. He'd better be.
- Sometimes you two forget how much I love him."
-
- "No," I replied as I felt the clang of the overhead doors sliding
- shut and the hiss of air being pumped into the shuttlebay. "We never
- forget that, P'nyssa. I know how important he is to you."
-
- "Do you?" she asked, curiously. I nodded. She smiled and hugged
- me tightly in her tentacles. "I'm glad, because I need you to know."
-
- "P'nyssa, I don't often say this, but you're more important to me
- than he is. But I'm so secure in my love for you, and you for me, that
- I don't express that love to you often enough."
-
- She smiled. "I love you enough, Ken, to know I don't need to hear
- it every day. But I've had you every day since our crash landing, and
- he hasn't had you at all. Go with him."
-
- The hiss ended, and I heard now, rather than felt, the sound of
- interior airlocks opening. Vega tossed a switch on her command panel,
- then walked to the ship's main airlock, punched the ATM button on the
- inner door, walked into the airlock and hit the button with the same
- label. The outer door opened a small contingent, five people, stood
- there. I recognized all of them, instantly. Etta, Katherine, Amanda,
- M'Vahn and... "Aaden!"
-
- I ran out of the shuttle without a concern in the universe but for
- him. Decorum be damned! I ran into his arms, grabbed his fur and held
- him close. "Oh, Gods, I was so afraid you wouldn't be here!"
-
- He was silent as I held him. He didn't say a word. A cold,
- frightened feeling started to spread down my shoulders. I pushed away
- from him just a little bit, looking up into his eyes. He looked down at
- me, a serious expression on his face, but there was that twinkle in his
- black and beautiful eyes that made me feel less scared for his love, but
- more for myself. I felt his right arm move up against my left, his paw
- sliding along the fabric of my shirt, his fingers sliding up under my
- hair. My heart would have stopped if it hadn't been so imperative that
- it keep beating.
-
- His fingers closed into a fist, grabbing as much hair as he could
- possibly hold in his enormous paw. I felt my muscles freeze as he
- closed his hands further, clenching more, pulling nearly half the hair
- on my head so strongly it felt like he was going to tear it out by the
- roots.
-
- I sighed and collapsed onto the ground at his feet, onto my knees.
- I wrapped my arms around his leg, his thigh, and held on, my eyes
- closed. "Get up," he snarled down at me. "On your feet!" He pulled on
- my hair, hauling me painfully until I was almost standing, then turned
- me viciously and threw me away from him, onto a low, mattressed platform
- that seemed unusual starship construction for a shuttle bay. I blinked.
-
- And I smiled inside as I landed sprawling on the cabin bed. I had
- been so busy noticing my reception party and, most importantly, him,
- that I'd missed the SDisk he'd been standing on. He had planned this.
-
- He jumped on my prone body, straddling me. He grabbed my hair and
- shoved my head down against the mattress, almost so I couldn't breathe.
- He snarled, "Do you know how much suffering you've put me through, Ken?
- Do you know how much I've missed you? Do you have any idea of what I've
- gone through? I'm going to give you a small taste." His right paw held
- my hair, his left hand grabbed the collar of my shirt. I heard a loud
- ripping, and then felt sudden pain sear out against my back as his claws
- tore both my shirt and my back to ribbons. I screamed, my brain going
- into immediate overload. I could feel the cold terror reaching for me
- again. His claws didn't stop at my pants, they tore along and down my
- right leg, slicing me open with such excruciating pain there was nothing
- I could do but thrash and scream. Coherence was out of the question.
-
- He was kinder to my left leg, just slicing the cloth and tearing it
- off of me. Exposed and bleeding, with his hand still in my hair, I lay
- on the bed and tried to figure out how close I was to complete shock. I
- decided I was close.
-
- I panted, breathing and desperate for surcease. "Aaden..." I
- managed to whisper to the huge, vicious creature that sat straddling my
- thighs.
-
- "Oh, no," he growled, leaning over to whisper into my ear. "You
- haven't had nearly enough, Ken. You need to suffer. You're just in
- pain right now. I need you to suffer." I moaned. "And you know how
- you're going to suffer, Ken?"
-
- I managed to find my tongue, thick and hazy. "How, sir?"
-
- "Jahn and I made love three times last night, I was so hot to see
- you. I'm going to come once more, in you, before I let them have you
- again." I felt his left hand stray over my butt, and I felt him
- position his cock at my asshole.
-
- He wasn't gentle. I tend to have a very tight hole, the result of
- lots of practice; Aaden once said that fucking me was at first like
- trying to shove his dick through a block of semi-dried clay. That
- didn't stop him this time. He shoved his way into guts with such force
- and violence that I screamed again, and he wrenched my head and shoved
- me face-down into the mattress to muffle the screams as he began fucking
- me.
-
- I felt the familiar feeling of his huge cockhead hitting my
- prostate, of his strong body laying over mine. His fur was mixing into
- the wounds he had given me, and the pain blazed along my back. In my
- imagination, I saw him as an unstoppable engine, his huge shaft tearing
- me open and shattering my pelvis, a hot yellow light like a solar flare
- signalling the burning pain of my violated flesh.
-
- He drove deeper into me, raised on his arms. "You're better hope I
- come soon, Ken," he snarled at me as he ravished me. I was helpless,
- even though I clawed at the bed to escape his agony. Tears streamed
- down my eyes; my legs had long ago gone into useless convulsions as his
- enormous cock used me to whatever ends he meant. "You're bleeding bad,
- and if you don't get help soon..." he didn't finish with words but with
- a single, howlingly vicious thrust of his cock that I swear I felt
- rearrange my insides.
-
- I groaned and panted like an animal, praying it would never end as
- he raped and ravished and used me and reintroduced me to the depths of
- pain and heights of pleasure I had never been able to reach with anyone
- but him. My hands spasmed uncontrollably, unable to grip at anything no
- matter how hard I willed them to reach back behind me and hold him. I
- wanted to tell him to use me harder, to fuck me even more viciously if
- he could. Nothing but incoherent and guttural screams came from my
- throat.
-
- His thrusting continued, feral and uncontrolled. There was nothing
- to us but need, need to reconnect like we had before. I felt the pain
- from the wounds on my back and thigh; I felt the blood from my torn
- buttock streaming down the crack of my ass and adding to the slickness
- of our sex. I felt his body possess mine with his violence, with his
- desire. His arms were at my sides, crushing me in his grip as his
- phallus tore me up from within.
-
- I was starting to lose consciousness; I was starting to grey out.
- The pain, the bloodloss, the shock of it all was too much. My world was
- getting hazy, the fiery violence of his fucking the only thing I could
- feel, the last thing I ever wanted to feel. And then I felt him shove
- against me once so hard I imagined my bones cracking; I heard him scream
- so loud I knew that if I survived, I'd be deaf.
-
- And then there was no more.
-
-
- "Hey," I heard his voice say, gently and in the distance.
-
- I opened my eyes. He was right above me, smiling down at me, his
- eyes alight. "Aaden..." I whispered.
- "It's okay... I've had P'nyssa look you over. She dealt with the
- scratches, and you're going to be fine."
-
- "Aaden?" I whispered, looking up at him. "Please... come here."
-
- He lowered himself until he was just cents from my face. I thought
- about moving my arms, and much to my surprise, they obeyed. I wrapped
- my arms around him and pulled him down against me. "Oh, Aaden... I love
- you."
-
- I heard something like a sigh escape him, and then he shifted his
- body against mine, his weight pressing against me. He buried his face
- in my shoulder. And then he began crying.
-
- I don't know what to do when people cry, except hold them. Which
- is what I did. He cried for a long time, holding me tight. "Oh, Fah,
- Ken, I missed you so much," he managed to gasp once as he held me. His
- crying went on for a while, and then he raised his head. "Don't you
- EVER do this to me again," he snarled. "You don't know how much I hurt.
- Oh, Ken, please don't ever do this to me again."
-
- I reached up and scratched the top of his beautiful, furry head.
- "I didn't mean to this time, Aaden. I swear, I'll do everything I can
- to keep it from happening again. But I can't stay home, you know that."
-
- "I know," he cried, tears dropping slowly across his muzzle. "I
- just don't want to lose you. You scared me so much. When I heard
- they'd found your signal, I'd almost given up hope."
-
- "You could never give up hope," I whispered to him. "I love you
- too much, you know. You knew I'd come back."
-
- "I did," he sighed, "But I didn't know how long to wait. You know,
- almost nobody lives at the Castle anymore. Without you, it's an empty
- place. I moved back to Rhysh." He looked up again at me, a small smile
- across his face. I reached up and brushed tears from his snout with a
- gentle hand. "I guess I'll have to move back, huh?"
-
- "Guess you will. Aaden?"
-
- "Yeah?"
-
- "That was the most unbelievably wonderful homecoming I've ever had.
- Thank you."
-
- "I was afraid I was too rough."
-
- "You were. That's why it was wonderful. Thank you."
-
- He nodded solemnly, then lay down by my side. We lay in the dim
- bedroom together, quietly enjoying each others' touch once more. Once
- again becoming familiar with heartbeats, breathing, luxuriant fur or
- soft human skin. A chime rang quietly.
-
- "They're expecting you at dinner. Are you up to it?"
-
- "I think so," I said. "It's a little bit of shock, to be honest."
-
- "I thought it would be," he murmurred softly. "Come on. That was
- the half-hour alarm. We need to shower first."
-
- I nodded as he eased off of me and stood up. His black fur was
- matted down, my dried blood sticking it to it in one long, ragged line
- from his chest to his knee. "I guess we do," I whispered softly.
- "Wow."
-
- "Yeah, I went a bit overboard," he said as he helped me stand up.
-
- "Just a bit. Aaden?" I asked, looking into his face.
-
- "Hmm?" he asked, nervously.
-
- "I love you." I reached out and hugged him, still feeling a little
- dizzy and unsteady. He held me, tightly and reassuredly, and then led
- me into the shower.
-
- --
- "Coming Home"
- The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., And Related Tales
- are (c) 1989, 1990 Elf Matheiu Sternberg. May be freely distributed by
- cybernetic media; hardcopies are limited to single printings for
- personal use.
-
-
- ========================================================================
- Via...
- NixPix Windy City (NixPix Net HQ) 708 564 1754
- NixPix Central (the original Nick) 303 920 1263
- NixPix Sweden 011 46 40 110590
- NixPix Austria 011 43 7719 8871
- NixPix Finland 011 358 0 298 3390
-
- Remember -- fun and communication is what we're all about!
- ==========================================================================