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~001 MATHIAS RUST 3 Increase military funding to demonstrate our commitment to a strong defense. Lambast the inefficiency of the bloated military bureaucracy. Fire high-ranking officers and replace them with people whose loyalty is beyond question. ~002 MEDIUM-RANGE MISSILE TREATY 3 Sign the treaty as a first step toward peace. Reject the offer until the U.S. cuts "Star Wars" research. Reject the offer in favor of new programs to safeguard the Soviet economy. ~003 WITHDRAWAL FROM AFGHANISTAN 4 Maintain the war effort at its current level regardless of cost. Reduce the level of Soviet military commitment. Pull Soviet forces completely out of Afghanistan unilaterally. Negotiate a pullout that is coordinated with a cut in Western aid to the Afghan rebels. ~004 LONG-RANGE NUCLEAR TREATY 3 Sign the long-range nuclear treaty and reduce the Soviet nuclear arsenal. Sign the treaty, but fund a new research project to placate the military. Don't sign the treaty unless the U.S. reduces its "Star Wars" budget. ~005 PERSIAN GULF WAR 4 Reject the U.S. alliance and remain friends with Iraq. Remain strictly neutral in the matter. Join the U.S. alliance, but commit no money or troops. Become an active member of the U.S. military alliance. ~006 HARD-LINE COUP 5 Give in to the hard-liners' demands. Resign gracefully. Negotiate a deal with the hard-liners. Appeal to other factions in the Politburo for help. Appeal to the will of the people. ~007 PRIVATE PLOT FARMING 5 Implement the plan to increase the amount of private farming. Implement a scaled down version of the plan. Ignore the plan to increase the amount of private farming. Reject the plan to increase the amount of private farming. Fire the people responsible for the plan. ~008 PERESTROIKA 4 Reject the perestroika proposal out of hand. Set up a special committee to study the restructuring of Soviet society. Accept moderate restructuring proposals. Accept radical restructuring proposals. ~009 CITIZEN REVOLT 4 Use armed troops to subdue the rioters. Call for the resignation of the entire Cabinet and appoint new ministers. Pledge to change the policies of the government to better accommodate the needs of the people. Resign gracefully. ~010 MINERS' STRIKE 4 Send troops in to break up the coal miners' strike. Send troops in to replace the miners and mine the ore themselves. Wait out the strike. Negotiate with the coal miners. ~011 FOOD IMPORTS 2 Contact the U.S. to renew trade talks on increased food imports. Postpone negotiations until foreign relations improve. ~012 FOOD RIOTS 3 Send in troops to subdue rioters who want more food. Request aid from the West to deal with our food shortage problem. Order an investigation of the food shortages and promise people conditions will improve shortly. ~013 POLAND 5 Send Warsaw Pact troops into Poland to keep the peace. Prop up the Polish government with more money. Issue press statements condemning the counter- revolutionary actions of Solidarity. Ignore the situation in Poland. Do not intervene. Throw official Soviet support to the workers of Solidarity. ~014 NONINTERFERENCE POLICY 3 Agree to the policy that we should not interfere in the internal affairs of other Warsaw Pact nations. Reject this noninterference policy. Reserve comment on the noninterference policy pending further study. ~015 OPEN EMIGRATION 5 Support the proposal to allow any Soviet citizen to leave the country. Allow open emigration but appeal to the people's patriotism to make them stay. Allow open emigration but offer greater financial incentives for our top people to stay. Allow open emigration for everyone except workers with skills vital to state security. Retain the current restrictions on emigration. ~016 WARSAW PACT BREAKUP 4 Send in troops to protect our allies' communist governments. Use strong economic sanctions to keep the Warsaw Pact nations in line. Negotiate new treaties eliminating the military alliance, but keep economic ties strong. Follow the policy of noninterference and let the Warsaw Pact nations find their own paths. ~017 FORMATION OF OTHER POLITICAL PARTIES 2 The people's government will not condone any parties which are bound to have a counter- revolutionary leaning. The Soviet ideals of democracy and glasnost allows the free expression of many divergent views. ~018 BALTIC UNREST 4 Declare martial law to impose order in the rebellious Baltic republics. Use troops to enforce economic sanctions that will bring the Baltic republics back into line. Negotiate a settlement giving the Baltic republics more political independence within the context of the Union. Give the Baltic republics their complete freedom. ~019 GERMAN UNIFICATION 3 Stand firm against German unification, citing the fact that Germany has already caused two world wars. Agree to unification only if the German government will pay the full cost of our gradual military phase-out. Agree to German unification without any preconditions. ~020 UNION vs COMMONWEALTH 4 Improve economic conditions for all citizens to assuage their dissatisfaction with the present Union. Preserve the Union at all costs, using military force if necessary. Negotiate a new Union treaty with more political autonomy for the Republics under a centralized administration. Allow the Union to break up. Establish a loose Commonwealth in its place. ~021 "Yeltsin Controversy" 4 Support Yeltsin and attempt to force the resignation of conservative leader Yegor Ligachev. You make a speech appealing for patience and calm. You then rebuke Yeltsin in private. Openly criticize Yeltsin for making personal attacks during committee sessions. Attempt to force Yeltsin's resignation and have the press denounce him publicly. ~022 VOTE OF CONFIDENCE 5 Bargain with the opposition. Pay whatever funds necessary to insure their support. Call in political favors and put up a fight. Appeal to the will of the people to make the opposition back down. Brazen it out and call for an immediate showdown vote in the Politburo. Resign gracefully. ~024 FREE ELECTIONS 5 Veto the entire proposal for free elections. Support loyal candidates with campaign contributions from the Emergency Fund. Back loyal candidates with personal endorsements. Back loyal candidates with both campaign funds and endorsements. Remain neutral in these elections. ~025 ASSASSINATE YELTSIN 3 You go along with the covert action in a desperate attempt to insure your power. You are outraged and fire your Advisor for suggesting such a thing. You simply tell your advisor that such a plan is out of the question and leave it at that. ~026 GLASNOST 5 Stall. Pretend to support the proposal for glasnost but make no substantive changes. Reject this radical initiative out of hand. Allow the press to talk freely about other countries, but not about our own. Allow the press to speak freely about current affairs, but leave Soviet history alone. Allow historical criticism as well as present-day criticism. ~027 VISIT TO THE POPE 3 Reject the Pope's invitation. Ignore the Pope's invitation. Accept the Pope's invitation. ~028 CHERNOBYL 4 Issue a terse statement that our recent nuclear incident is purely an internal matter. Publicize the news of this terrible nuclear accident. Appeal for humanitarian and technological assistance. Appeal for aid and disclose details of previous nuclear plant closures to prevent future accidents. Reveal all details of the accident. Order an immediate evacuation of areas with high radiation levels. ~029 RELEASE BANNED BOOKS 2 Accelerate the process of glasnost by releasing all previously banned books. Placate the hard-liners by upholding the previous bans on books. ~030 RELEASE ANDREI SAKHAROV 3 Release Sakharov and other political dissidents to show genuine commitment to glasnost. Release just Sakharov to deprive dissident movements of their most well-known symbol. Leave Sakharov in exile to please the hard-liners. ~031 ANTI-ALCOHOLISM CAMPAIGN 2 Impose harsh laws against public drunkenness and limit the amount of alcohol available to the public. Raise alcohol prices to increase government revenues while curbing consumer demand. ~032 ETHNIC WARFARE 3 Declare martial law in Azerbaijan and send in troops to preserve law and order. Send presidential envoys to negotiate a settlement that all sides can live with. Increase economic spending in Azerbaijan to create a sense of economic well-being that will discourage violence. ~033 TIANANMEN SQUARE 3 Praise the Chinese leaders for their decisive actions against the counter- revolutionary hoodlums. Condemn the Chinese leaders for their harsh repression of the voice of the masses. Remain neutral on the matter. ~034 EARTHQUAKE IN ARMENIA 2 Ask the West for aid to deal with the terrible tragedy that has befallen the citizens of Soviet Armenia. It would be degrading to ask the West for aid. We Soviet people can take care of our own. ~035 NO CRISIS 1 Good work. ~037 BANKRUPTCY 1 Resign gracefully. ~039 UKRAINIAN SECESSION 4 Declare martial law and send troops to occupy Kiev. Declare an economic embargo against the Ukraine, using the Black Sea Fleet to blockade Ukrainian ports. Negotiate a settlement giving the Ukraine more political independence within the Soviet Union. Recognize Ukrainian independence. ~040 ROMANIAN INSURRECTION 3 Deplore the murder of the Ceaucescus and send troops to help restore order. Congratulate the people of Romania on finally attaining freedom and offer necessary medical aid. Announce that the situation is under study. ~041 N KOREAN NUKE STRIKE 4 Threaten military action against the United States and the Republic of Korea. Immediately draft a stiff note of protest. Announce that we, too, are strongly opposed to continued nuclear proliferation. Take no action at this time. ~042 ATOMIC ACCIDENT 2 Publicly announce the extent of the catastrophe and ask for Western assistance in cleanup and rebuilding. Announce a minor military accident, stressing the military's past exemplary safety record. ~043 LATVIAN STRIFE 3 Send two divisions of troops to establish a Latvian protectorate. Offer to mediate the differences between Latvians and ethnic Russians. Announce that the crisis is strictly a Latvian internal affair. ~044 IRANIAN INVASION OF AZERBAIJAN 4 Send KGB troops to expel the Iranians from their positions in southern Azerbaijan. Have our ambassador in Teheran demand that Iranian troops in Azerbaijani territory be withdrawn. Take the situation under study. Ask for a UN peacekeeping force to be deployed in Azerbaijan. ~045 EAST GERMAN UNREST 3 Send troops to reinforce our army in East Germany. Issue a manifesto deploring civil strife in any country associated with the Soviet Union. Announce our support for reforms in the corrupt government of the German Democratic Republic. ~046 IRAN IN AFGHANISTAN 4 Send four divisions of troops into Afghanistan to help the Kabul government withstand this latest threat. Issue a strongly worded protest note to the Imams in Teheran. Take no action at this time. Announce that we respect the freedom of every people, most particularly those of the Islamic world. ~047 MOLDAVIA 4 Send an army group to resecure the Republic of Moldavia. Protest to the government in Bucharest. Take no action at this time. Announce that we are pleased by the restoration of the Moldavian people to their Romanian homeland. ~048 KALININGRAD 3 Send troops and naval units to reinforce the base at Kaliningrad. Have our ambassador at the European Community request mediation. Cede Kaliningrad to Lithuania. ~049 GOD SPEAKS 3 Shape up. Ship out. Take under advisement. ~050 STRATEGIC FORCES SUPERVISION 3 Refuse all foreign inter- ference in the military affairs of our sovereign state. Request time to give this proposal the consideration that it deserves. Agree to the proposal on condition that the United States accept similar supervision of its forces. ~051 AZERI_ARMENIAN CONFLICT 3 Send two divisions to Nagorno-Karabakh and one each to Baku and Erevan to terminate the conflict. Offer to mediate the disagreement between Azer- baijan and Armenia. Announce that this conflict is a matter to be settled between Armenians and Azeris without foreign interference. ~052 HUNGARIAN-ROMANIAN CONFLICT 3 Airlift paratroops to Cluj to put an end to this conflict and bring law and order to the afflicted region. Propose to the United Nations that we are willing to take part in a multi-national peace-keeping mission. Announce that we consider the disturbances to be a strictly Romanian affair, and will not tolerate outside interference. ~053 SLOVAK SECESSION FROM CZECHOSLOVAKIA 3 Offer economic and military aid to Slovakia and praise its success in gaining independence. Offer economic and military aid to the Czech government and declare our opposition to rampant regionalism. This is an internal affair. ~054 DIVISION OF THE BLACK SEA FLEET 3 The Fleet consists of ships built in Russia and manned by Russians; it is, therefore, Russian, now and forever. Ukraine deserves some naval capacity of its own, the exact amount to be negotiated. Ukraine should accept all responsibility for future policing of the northern part of the Black Sea. ~055 KURIL ISLANDS 3 Our economic and military interests in this island chain far surpass any historical claim Japan may have on them. We desire closer economic ties with Japan, and we will be glad to discuss all reasonable means of attaining this goal. We recognize Japan's paramount interest in the Kuril Islands. ~056 RUSSO-CHINESE CONFLICT 3 We are prepared to neutralize certain populated areas within China that have been used to stage the invasion. Our troops are ever ready to expel invaders from our sacred territory. We are not committed to bound- aries illegally established by the pre-1917 despotism. We are ready to discuss normalization. ~057 OZONE LAYER DEPLETION 3 Our scientists are prepared to repair the damage caused by irresponsible Western economic interests. Since our country is suffering the effects of damage caused by others, we insist on repar- ations from the West. We are ordering a study of ozone layer damage. ~058 MILITARY COUP 3 Call on loyal military units from outside the Moscow Region to place the plotters under arrest. Call on the people to rise up against the establishment of a military dictatorship. Resign immediately. ~059 NEW GULF WAR 3 We support UN condemnation of Iraqi and Iranian aggression and are prepared to act to demonstrate this support. Our nation has no vital interests in this area. We cannot tolerate such blatant Western aggression against the legitimate Islamic governments of Iraq and Iran. ~060 SYRIAN-ISRAELI WAR 3 We can no longer stand idly by while the Israeli war machine is used to murder the helpless people of Syria. It is difficult to assign guilt in the continuing Middle East conflict, and so we choose to remain neutral. We can no longer stand idly by while the Syrian war machine is used to murder the helpless people of Israel. ~061 US INVASION OF CUBA 4 Our valiant soldiers are now en route to Havana to defend the legitimate government of Cuba against US aggression. Once again the United States has demonstrated its blatant disdain for the sovereignty of a free Latin American people. This is a purely Cuban internal affair. We feel that it is time for a change, and support these brave freedom fighters in their struggle for freedom. ~062 GERMAN ECONOMIC PENETRATION 3 As of today, no foreign entity may control any of our indus- tries beyond a level to be set by the Ministry of Production. It is not the job of government to interfere in the economy. We welcome Russian-German eco- nomic cooperation, and hope that this will presage an integrated European economy. ~063 ASTEROID STRIKE 3 Our valiant military forces have today been ordered to take action that will save the entire earth. Estimates of the orbit of the asteroid in question must be confirmed before any action is taken. Today I announce my resignation and retirement to a community in Patagonia. ~064 RELIGIOUS FREEDOM 3 Marx stated that religion is the opiate of the people, and as such cannot be tolerated in a healthy society. The Soviet constitution currently guarantees freedom to practice both religion and atheism. Religious freedom is a natural corollary of glasnost, and we support it wholeheartedly. ~065 RELIGIOUS PROSELYTIZATION 4 Take no action. Announce that you are joining the Orthodox Church and urge your fellow citizens to do likewise. Order the expulsion of all foreign religious figures from the country and declare their religions illegal. Declare that religion has no place in a rational society and close all places of worship. ~066 RELIGIOUS CONFLICT 3 Send in troops to suppress the religious rioting. Order local authorities to impose a long-term curfew on all religious activities. Issue a public call for religious toleration by all citizens of the nation. ~067 JEWISH EMIGRATION 3 Ban all emigration of Jews from the workers' paradise. Selectively permit emigration to Israel by those who can repay the state for its investment in their education. Encourage Jewish emigration to Israel. ~068 JEWISH IMMIGRATION 4 Impose laws restricting the right of return for former citizens who abandoned the nation in time of need. Take no special action. Encourage those former citizens who now live in Israel and have valuable skills to return. Offer financial aid to all former citizens now living abroad who wish to return. ~069 CARBOMBED EMBASSY 4 Order an immediate air strike against the headquarters of the guilty organization. Join with Western nations in a public denunciation of terrorist attacks on innocent civilians. Announce that we are prepared to take the proper action at the proper time. Announce that we are prepared to increase support for all groups fighting for freedom. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ~2001 Food Crisis 5 ----------- Confiscate goods from free a market and sell them in the government stores. Close the government stores b and open government stalls in the free market. Ask America's Salvation c Army for advice on setting up soup kitchens in our larger cities. Make people sign up on d lists for food grants as soon as food is available again. Make sure the government's e private stores are well stocked. ~2002 5 Set up community meals, a) FOOD CRISIS, Set # 2 forbid private cooking, raid pantries and confiscate hoarded goods. Institute strict rationing, b) give extra benefits to people who turn in their neighbors who hoard. Encourage more Western fast c) food chains to open more restaurants in the Soviet Union. Encourage workers to have d) more "pot luck" parties. Distribute free copies of e) "1,001 Delightful Cabbage Recipes." ~2003 5 Transport urban residents a) FOOD CRISIS, Set # 3 to the farms and let them harvest their own food. Establish a centralized b) food distribution network in each city. Use soldiers to help plant c) and harvest collective fields. Offer free cooking classes d) emphasizing how to make good meals on whatever ingredients are available. Distribute free copies of e) the "Stay Thin Through Starvation and Malnutrition" book. ~2004 Health Crisis 5 Completely seal off all a areas where disease rate is greater than 25% of the population. Open military hospitals to b the public; make military medical supplies available to civilians. Use civil defense shelters c as emergency medical facilities. Distribute leaflets on d disease prevention and the importance of sanitation. Make sure all Cabinet e members receive their inoculations. ~2005 5 Start a system of a) HEALTH CRISIS, Set # 2 euthanasia to get rid of society's weakest members. Place all medical supply b) manufacturers on overtime production. Ask the International Red c) Cross for emergency assistance. Invite Johnson & Johnson to d) set up a plant in Arkhangelsk. Plan a long vacation at e) your country dacha. ~2006 5 Transport all unhealthy a) HEALTH CRISIS, Set # 3 citizens to special colonies to control the spread of disease. Ask the World Health b) Organization and UNICEF for special help and supplies. Allow medical students with c) at least two years of training to practice while the crisis lasts. Order state TV network to d) televise instructions on how to deal with the current problem. Investigate whether this e) problem was brought about through biological warfare against the country. ~2007 Housing Crisis 5 Hang blankets on clothes a lines to subdivide rooms, thereby doubling the number of accommodations. Convert unused factories b and warehouses into dormitories for homeless families. Use Communist Party offices c to house the workers temporarily. Make books on "Building d Your Own Home" cheaply available to the workers. Visit Calcutta so you can e say, "Things aren't nearly this bad at home." ~2008 5 Relocate homeless people to a) HOUSING CRISIS, Set # 2 less populated areas. Use Army surplus quonset b) huts for temporary housing. Send Army personnel on long c) term field maneuvers & let civilians move into Army barracks temporarily. Relax building codes even d) further so condemned buildings become habitable. Use abandoned mine shafts e) as apartment complexes. ~2009 5 Break up large families, a) HOUSING CRISIS, Set # 3 house the children with elderly or childless couples. Convert unused boxcars and b) decommissioned battleships into housing units. Establish timesharing c) arrangements where each family uses an apartment 12 hours a day. Go to America and buy d) thousands of motor homes and recreational vehicles. Allow free emigration to e) other countries. ~2010 Employment Crisis 5 Draft all unemployed people a into the Army. Export people as cheap b laborers in Western Europe. Open new factories to make c cheap plastic "USSR" trinkets for sale to tourists. Start a new Ministry of d Employment and hire thousands of new clerks. Hire additional maids and e butlers for all Cabinet members. ~2011 5 Create useless, makework a) EMPLOYMENT CRISIS, Set # 2 jobs just to employ otherwise idle workers. Establish special trade b) schools to teach new skills to unemployed workers. Increase unemployment c) stipends. Open new mines and lumber d) mills in pioneer territory. Tell people to think of the e) glass as being half full, not half empty. ~2012 5 Open up the country to a) EMPLOYMENT CRISIS, Set # 3 unrestricted capitalism. Break up collective farms b) and give a piece of arable land to everyone who wants one for cultivation. Entice Western businesses c) to build plants in the USSR and take advantage of a cheap labor pool. Start up a labor-intensive d) handmade crafts industry for export. Re-evaluate the statistics e) to prove the situation isn't really as desperate as everyone thinks. ~2013 Personal Income Crisis 5 Lower all wages so no one a earns more than anyone else. Increase the length of the b work week so hourly workers will earn more money. Revalue the ruble so c everyone's wages are worth more. Syndicate reruns of d "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" for Soviet television. Distribute leaflets e explaining how "Small Is Beautiful" and "Less Is More." ~2014 5 Fire 25% of the workers and a) PERSONAL INCOME, Set # 2 give the rest a large raise in pay. Institute a Union-wide b) price rollback. Raise the minimum wage. c) Issue bonuses in d) government scrip or Soviet bonds. Take a 5% cut in pay e) yourself to show your solidarity with the workers. ~2015 5 Remove items from store a) PERSONAL INCOME, Set # 3 shelves so people have less to buy. Cut the military budget and b) use the extra money to raise people's wages. Give people medals for c) extra work. Establish a commission to d) investigate how to increase personal income. Put on free shows to take e) people's minds off their troubles. ~2016 Consumer Goods Crisis 5 Forbid anyone from owning a more personal belongings than will fit in one large box. Increase caviar exports to b pay for increase in consumer goods imports. Encourage mail order c shopping from Western catalogs. Form a commission to study d how to improve the market economy. Encourage people to study e Zen Buddhism so they can get along without material possessions. ~2017 5 Confiscate Black Market a) CONSUMER GOODS, Set # 2 goods, then resell them in government stores. Give import licenses to b) Black Marketeers, making them legitimate businessmen. Allow Western merchants to c) open branch stores in major Soviet cities. Fire your Minister of d) Production. Make a speech denouncing e) materialism and demanding a return to the old Soviet values. ~2018 5 Close all the shops so no a) CONSUMER GOODS, Set # 3 one can buy anything. Negotiate a special trade b) agreement with Hong Kong. Allow more people to travel c) to Western countries and bring back duty-free "souvenirs." Point out that the USSR d) doesn't generate enough electricity to run all the devices people want to buy. Emphasize the harmful e) effects of electromagnetic radiation from too many electric appliances. ~2019 Public Services Crisis 5 Send all bureaucrats to a Siberian mines, hire a new group to take their places. Make bureaucrats have to b apply to other bureaucrats to get their paychecks. Force all bureaucrats to c take a competency test to keep their jobs. Form a commission on how d to eliminate excessive bureaucracy. Make all bureaucrats wear e "Have A Nice Day" buttons with Happy Faces. ~2020 5 Execute all bureaucrats a) PUBLIC SERVICES, Set # 2 caught taking bribes. Cut in half the supply of b) paper to all bureaucrats. Buy more Western computers c) so bureaucrats can do their jobs more efficiently. Hire more assistants to d) help the bureaucrats do their jobs. Put up "Please Bear With Us e) During The Crisis" signs in all government service offices. ~2021 5 Keep all public service a) PUBLIC SERVICES, Set # 3 offices open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Send management officials b) to Western universities to get degrees in management & planning techniques. Conduct efficiency tests on c) all public officials and publish the results. Install cameras in every d) bureaucrat's office to make sure they're all working. Put suggestion boxes in e) every public service office. ~2022 Law & Order Crisis 5 Announce a strict curfew a and shoot all violators on sight. Build more prisons and hire b known sadists as police. Reinstate public flogging. c Teach convicted criminals d a useful profession. Ship the worst criminals to e Bulgaria as "engineering consultants." ~2023 5 Declare martial law and a) LAW & ORDER, Set # 2 station troops in all the major cities. Fire the most lenient b) judges and replace them with KGB interrogation officers. Give the local druzhina c) more authority and allow them to carry guns. Emphasize self-defense d) educational programs on television. Place "Support Your Local e) Cossack" stickers on the rear bumper of all cars. ~2024 5 Increase the number of a) LAW & ORDER, Set # 3 capital crimes & execute prisoners immediately after trial. Hire foreign mercenaries to b) supplement the police forces. Allow private citizens to c) carry handguns. Start "Neighborhood Watch" d) programs. Show a Charles Bronson film e) festival on TV, encouraging people to take vigilante action. ~2025 Environment Crisis 5 Dig a deep pit in Siberia a and dump all toxic wastes there. Recycle slightly hazardous b materials in toasters and other consumer goods. Order the Ministry of c Finance to take funds for cleanup out of the military budget. Evacuate areas with the d worst pollution and hope it will go away. Let the Ministry of e Agriculture experiment with radioactive soil in livestock pens. ~2026 5 Turn already polluted lands a) ENVIRONMENT, Set # 2 into artillery ranges and military explosives test sites. Offer land in the polluted b) region to settlers from crowded Third World nations. Create special technical c) universities to develop cleanup techniques. Start a special research d) project on the commercial uses of polluted soil and water. Post signs warning people e) to stay out of the affected areas. ~2027 5 Turn the most polluted a) ENVIRONMENT, Set # 3 areas into reservations where only criminals may live. Convert some military units b) into environmental cleanup patrols. Levy penalties against the c) managers of factories and plants that cause major environmental problems. Sponsor a conference on d) environmental damage and ask the international community for advice. Sponsor a TV documentary e) about the destruction of the environment. ~2028 Civil Rights Crisis 5 Imprison anyone who a questions our civil rights policy. Suspend the rules of b evidence for people accused of slandering the state. Address the nation and ask c for a criticism-free period to give your policies time to work. Go on TV and rebut your d critics point by point. Host an international e conference on human rights. ~2029 5 Shut down all except a) CIVIL RIGHTS, Set # 2 government newspapers, play classical music programs on radio & television. Claim there is a paper b) shortage and severely limit supplies to independent papers. Have Supreme Soviet pass a c) Freedom of Information act. Hold at least two press d) conferences a month. Hold "town meetings" around e) the country to discuss policies with ordinary citizens. ~2030 5 Make every voter sign his a) CIVIL RIGHTS, Set # 3 or her name on their ballot. Postpone elections until b) next spring, citing "unsettled conditions." Free political activists c) from prison, but make them ineligible to run for office. Heed the cries for free d) elections by scheduling them for next week, so there's no campaign time. Demonstrate the evils of e) democracy by showing the Robert Redford film, "The Candidate." ~2031 Education Crisis 5 Put a security officer in a every classroom to make sure the kids study their lessons. Teachers whose students do b poorly on exams may be sent into internal exile. Students with poor grades c must take extra classes during vacation. Schools should schedule d more field trips to museums and zoos. Install an open curriculum e and let the students decide what they want to learn. ~2032 5 Set national employment a) EDUCATION CRISIS, Set # 2 standards so no one may be hired without a basic education. Order that no draftee may b) leave military service until he has passed basic literacy tests. Increase the budget for c) adult education programs. Commission Children's d) Television Workshop to create a Russian-language version of Sesame Street. Allow door-to-door salemen e) to peddle encyclopedias. ~2033 5 Send everyone who can't a) EDUCATION CRISIS, Set # 3 pass basic literacy tests to labor camps. Institute competition b) between different regions for highest test grade scores. Pay better salaries to c) teachers so we get a higher caliber of instructors. Insist on more educational d) TV programs instead of entertainment series. Make the kids with the e) poorest grades clean out the restrooms. ~2034 Emergency Crisis 5 Mobilize the army to a control civilian panic and prevent looting. Mobilize the army to b coordinate with local civilian officials. Encircle the affected c region to prevent the spread of panic. Go on a fact-finding d tour of the region. Send your Vice President e on a fact-finding tour of the region. ~3001 POLITICAL STRENGTH Crisis 5 Order the KGB to arrest all a your enemies. Double your security staff b and keep your travel itinerary secret. Form your own political c party and exclude your opponents. Invite your opponents to d help you form a coalition government. Double check the balance in e your Swiss bank account. ~3002 CITIZEN SATISFACTION Crisis 5 Offer the worst complainers a long-term employment in Novosibirsk. Call for free elections b as soon as the economy improves. Threaten to resign if you c don't get your way. Imply that criticism plays d into the hands of the nation's enemies. Have yourself photographed e with an American starlet, professional athlete, or rock star. ~3003 FOREIGN RELATIONS Crisis 5 Break off diplomatic a relations with the countries you're feuding with. Expel offending diplomats b as persona non grata. Sign a trade agreement with c our enemy's enemy. Refuse to export any more d caviar and vodka to our enemies. Confuse everyone by e throwing a lavish diplomatic reception in our enemy's honor. ~3004 OVERALL Crisis - never reached 5 Surround yourself with a bodyguards at all times. Hire a New York public b relations firm to improve your image. Hide in your office and c communicate only by FAX. Take a vacation at your d dacha on the Black Sea. Ask CNN whether they need e a new foreign affairs commentator. @ ~999999999999999 0