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- ________________________________
- /| |
- / | The United Ignorance Front |
- | | |
- | | presents |
- | |-------------------------------|
- | | |
- | | FAX MACHINE FUN |
- | | |
- | |-------------------------------|
- | | written by: The Iocat |
- | |-------------------------------|
- | | this article originally |
- | | appeard in |
- | | |
- | | THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS |
- | |"the official voice of the UIF"|
- | |-------------------------------|
- | | |
- | |this article is (c) 1989 by the|
- | |UIF. All rights reserved. This|
- | |file may be distributed un-|
- | |altered exclusivly in the modem|
- | |community. (if you feel a dire|
- | |need to put your BBS's # on it|
- | |do it at the end) |
- | |_______________________________|
- | / /
- |/_______________________________/
-
- INTRO-
- In the late 80's we have seen a massive explosion in the popularity of fax
- machines. Everyone has one. They are cheap, easy to use, and very usefull. Up
- untill now, however, they have been almost exclusivly in the province of the buisness
- world
- . Just for those of you who have been in comas for the last few years, I'll explain
- fax machines to you.
- Fax machines are combination scanners/modems/printers. You can transmit the
- contents of a piece of paper to another fax over the phone lines. Usually, your fax
- also prints the number you called from on the first sheet of the transmittal. It is
- e
- asy to see why buisnesses like these. No longer content with Federal Express, now
- letters can go cross country in minutes. Faxes have about 200-250 dpi resolution,
- and print out on rolls of thermal paper. For some odd reason, most of them are 4800
- baud
- .
-
- THE GOOD PART-
-
- "So what" you ask? Most people don't seem to realize the potential available
- here. When I worked at The FHLB, we used to get faxes all the time, with requests
- for checks. Occaisionaly, we also got short notes from the idiots at the other
- banks.
- This is what gave me the idea for what I call, for lack of a better term, Fax
- Piracy.
-
- Fax Piracy is the ultimate crank call. Let me give you an example.
-
- There was this Library I hated, and, like everyone else, they have a fax. So
- what me and a few of my freinds did was send them requests, "from" another Library
- for books. I found out later, from a kid who worked there that they wasted about
- $50,
- sending them all the books. Not much, but if you know how cheap librarians are, you
- can imagine the shit fits they had.
- Next, we send them a "Mobius Fax" we got some sheets of black construction
- paper, taped about 10 of them together, and started feeding them through the fax.
- Once the start of the long sheet we had created came through, we taped it to the end.
-
- T
- his went on continuosly for about 15 minutes untill their (very expensive) thermal
- paper ran out. Since we had sent them nothing but black paper, it completely covered
- and ruined all of their paper. This used up their 3month paper allocation at once,
- an
- d they had to borrow from petty cash to buy more.
- Finally we sent them a little note, telling them what idiots they were, and
- signing it "the fax pirates"
-
- HOW TO DO IT-
-
- First, and this is VERY IMPORTANT- Always remember to REPROGRAM the fax so it
- displays someone elses name and number. If you forget to do this, its like sending a
- letter bomb with a return adress.
- Second, decide what to send. This is entirely up to you (duh) , and depends
- on whether you want to annoy them, or really destroy them.* Wierd requests from
- other campies you hate, long rambling stories, or strange art is always good. Be a
- littl
- e creative. (this part is especially fun if you have a Mac, and access to a
- laserwriter)
- Third, send it. (wow, some people need to be told everything, don't they)
- What? You don't know their fax #? Its not in information? Its not in the phone
- book? Well, keep reading!
-
- HOW TO GET FAX PHONE NUMBERS-
-
- This is just way easier than it should be. Call and ask. I'm serious, we've
- done this probably over 30 times, and NO ONE HAS EVER QUESTIONED OUR REQUEST! I'll
- give you a sample of a call that actually happened. (this is verbatum)(we taped it)
-
- IBM LADY Hello, IBM, may I help you?
-
- ME Hi, this is Biff Fulgate from over here at Linear Data Systems
- Can I get your fax number, those boys in research need to send
- something over and they lost the number again.
-
- IBM LADY Please hold on a moment
-
- ME Sure thing. Hah, those cooks over in research would probably
- lose their heads if they wern't screwed on.
-
- IBM LADY Haha. Now is that the Tower 700 number?
-
- ME Um...let me check here... Yeah, that's it. (Tower 700? what?)
-
- IBM LADY Ok, hold on
-
- (Long wait during which I get slightly nervous)
-
- IBM LADY Ok That number is 313-xxx-xxxx
-
- ME Thanks, Bye
-
-
- Also, most ads have fax numbers. Don't fuck with little companies though.
- A) they don't need it, B) they are probably more suspicious, C) it hurts them more
- than it would hurt a big company. be a caring capitolist.
-
- If you need any suggestions as to who's number to get try the following-
- newspapers, radios stations, big companies, libraries, city & state governments, the
- right to life movement, ect.
-
-
-
- HINTS-
-
- Act like you know whats going on at all times.
- Be polite, and a little bit familiar
- Make sure you have a plausable reason for getting the number
- Don't laugh
- Let the person who sounds most 'adult-like' make the call
- Make sure you have a plausable name
-
- Remember, the larger the company, the less the people know and care about other parts
- of the company, so the greater chance you have of not getting hassled.
- ALSO! Don't forget to change the "number" you are calling from.
-
- If you want to send a Mobius Fax, usually Faxes have paper feed trays (we didn't know
- that when we did it)
-
- ALSO- NEVER, EVER, DO THIS TO ATT!
-
-
- HOW TO GET A FAX TO USE-
-
- Well, if you don't have one, try mommy's or daddy's office. Most Campus
- offices have faxes you can pretend that you are supposed to be using (tell them the
- Library sent you). Many print-shops (like Kinko's) have fax machines that you can use
- for
- a nominal fee. And, just like terminals in the early 80's, most fax machines are
- just sitting out in offices, if you dress nicely, and look like you know what you're
- doing, no one is going to ask questions.
-
- SOME NUMBERS TO CALL-
-
- I have a pretty good list of #'s that you can call, but I will upload it in a
- different file, at a later date.
-
-
- IF YOU LIKED THIS FILE-
-
- Please send a host of annoying faxes to your local "Right to Life" chapter.
-
-
-
- -----------end-----
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- *-- for really good info on how to really fuck up a company with mail, or faxes, I
- reccomend Keith Wade's POISON PEN LETTERS & YOUR REVENGE IS IN THE MAIL both
- available from the Loompanics Book Catalog (see my file on that for the adress)
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- if you would like a sample copy of THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS send a S.A.S.E. and a buck
- to THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS P.O.BOX 8171 W. BLOOMFIELD, MI 48304
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- the above article is fiction and any similarity between it and real life is purely
- coincidental.| yeah, right! sure! it REALLY IS!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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