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- -=-=-= Well folks, here we are yet again. That text phile group =-=-=-
- -=-=-= that just keeps coming back. This time however, we have kinda =-=-=-
- -=-=-= decided (assuming that Red okays it) that instead of the same =-=-=-
- -=-=-= ol' bullshit about breaking and entering, blowing-up this and =-=-=-
- -=-=-= that, etc, we are going to bring a little Christmas cheer and =-=-=-
- -=-=-= stray for the SANctuary formula. Even though it is September =-=-=-
- -=-=-= right now, who gives a fuck.Read the phile, smile an' enjoy.. =-=-=-
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- :-) (-:
- :-) SANctuary.... (-:
- :-) Originally written by Merv, (-:
- :-) (wherever in hell he got it from, I dunno) (-:
- :-) Edited by Havok Halcyon. (-:
- :-) (-:
- :-) Twas the Night Before Christmas... (-:
- :-) (-:
- :-) Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. (-:
- :-) The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. (-:
- :-) The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, (-:
- :-) It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. (-:
- :-) Mamma in her teddy and I in the nude, (-:
- :-) Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. (-:
- :-) When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, (-:
- :-) That I lost my boner, and Mama went dry. (-:
- :-) Up to the window I sprang like an elf, (-:
- :-) Tore back the shade while she played with herself. (-:
- :-) The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, (-:
- :-) Shoved a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. (-:
- :-) When what to my wondering eyes should appear, (-:
- :-) But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. (-:
- :-) With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, (-:
- :-) A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. (-:
- :-) Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, (-:
- :-) And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. (-:
- :-) "Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, (-:
- :-) Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. (-:
- :-) Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, (-:
- :-) Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee." (-:
- :-) They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, (-:
- :-) Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. (-:
- :-) And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, (-:
- :-) As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder. (-:
- :-) I was donning my jockeys, to cover my ass, (-:
- :-) When down the chimney came Santa with a boom and a crash. (-:
- :-) His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, (-:
- :-) He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. (-:
- :-) "That was some brothel," he said with a smile, (-:
- :-) "The reindeer are pooped, so I'll just stay a short while" (-:
- :-) He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink, (-:
- :-) Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. (-:
- :-) I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, (-:
- :-) The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. (-:
- :-) Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, (-:
- :-) But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. (-:
- :-) The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, (-:
- :-) The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. (-:
- :-) A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, (-:
- :-) And six pair of panties, the edible kind. (-:
- :-) A bra without nipples, a penis extension, (-:
- :-) And several more things I shouldn't even mention. (-:
- :-) A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, (-:
- :-) And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil. (-:
- :-) "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, (-:
- :-) So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split." (-:
- :-) He filled every stocking and then took his leave, (-:
- :-) With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve. (-:
- :-) He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, (-:
- :-) Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. (-:
- :-) In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch, (-:
- :-) Saying, "Take me home, Rudolf. This night's been a bitch!" (-:
- :-) The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, (-:
- :-) "The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out!!" (-:
- :-) (-:
- :-) (-:
- :-) Merry Chanukah (-:
- :-) (I'm Jewish and **I** can't even spell that fregin' word) (-:
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